The Comics Curmudgeon

Main content:

A thoroughly repulsive post wherein Josh makes cheap jokes about genitals

Mark Trail, 7/21/08

“The scent of the meat” being referred to in panel three is, of course, a coded reference to Kelly Welly’s genitals.

Mary Worth, 7/21/08

What is it that “feels to familiar … and yet so fresh at the same time” to Jeff? Mary Worth’s genitals, obviously.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/21/08

“I’m pretty sure the bear represented your genitals! And how, as we enter puberty, I’m simultaneously fascinated by and terrified of ’em!”

Pluggers, 7/21/08

Ha ha, this one isn’t about genitals at all! It’s just an explanation of how this plugger, when slightly less little, came to start getting high from huffing common household solvents.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 21, 2008 at 04:04 pm and is filed under Barney Google & Snuffy Smith, Mark Trail, Mary Worth, Pluggers.

126 responses to “A thoroughly repulsive post wherein Josh makes cheap jokes about genitals”

Pozzo
July 21st, 2008 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

The next step for a developing plugger — eating paste.
Dingo
July 21st, 2008 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

Ah, Josh, but one of those crayons is “flesh.”
Orange Doorhinge
July 21st, 2008 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

MW: You don’t pilot a sail boat with a steering wheel. Gah. I’m seasick.
Lolsworth
July 21st, 2008 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

Jesus Christ Josh I can never un-read that.

Is it a federal offence to type the words “Mary Worth’s Genitals” in that order? Because it should be, god DAMN. I was eatin’ and everything…
Big Sims
July 21st, 2008 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

Isn’t one of the common household ingredients of meth crayon polymers? No? Then what the hell is the little Plugger child (pup?) doing with them? Were they a gift, some sort of wild State funded spending spree for at risk public school students?
bats :[
July 21st, 2008 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

And maybe it’s a box of crayons that they give to little kids…you know, those really thick ones so they can hold them more easily. Really, really thick ones…mmmmm….

And a “Boxcar!” for my posting on a recently dead thread (I feel so Grandpa-esque!):
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2690420892/sizes/o/
Renee J
July 21st, 2008 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

Does this mean Mary had that talk with her mother about feeling fresh?
geezil
July 21st, 2008 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

Hey, Josh; as a former Jeopardy! champ myself (March 26th), I wish you all the best this week. Look forward to hearing you talk about it when you finally can.
PeteMoss
July 21st, 2008 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

The Pluggers start out with crayolas then move up to the hard stuff – Magic Markers! Then, when that thrill dries out, it’s on to “Pluggers’ Crack” which is…er…probably just plain old crack.
bats :[
July 21st, 2008 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

With the strange juxtaposition of the Mary Worth and Kelly Welly panels, I propose that the attendees at all future CC meet-ups be strongly encouraged to wear neckerchiefs.
I think this was even mentioned and encouraged in the New Testament, “You will know them by their fruits.” (Of course, this is a mistranslation from the Aramaic or Greek or something.)
Lettuce
July 21st, 2008 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

The little Plugger may enjoy the therapy of crayon-stench, sure, but … dear God, what is that pitiable creature? Looks like a toothless thylacine with a wig and a v-neck, gumming wistfully at a desk. Who thinks up this? They’re certainly snorting something stronger than crayons.
DAS
July 21st, 2008 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

Then, when that thrill dries out, it’s on to “Pluggers’ Crack” which is…er…probably just plain old crack. – Pete Moss

Given the, um, demographic we can presume is the Pluggers set, wouldn’t “Pluggers’ Crack” be Meth? Wouldn’t crack be too “urban” to be the Pluggers’ illegal, highly addictive stimulant of choice?
Benicillin
July 21st, 2008 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

Jeff looks maybe thirty-five years old in panel one, and then in his sixties in panel two. Mary’s gentle touch is sucking the life-force out of him much quicker than when her prey is not secluded at sea. She hasn’t even had time to lecture the poor bastard as he withers away into nothing.

(cough)

By the way, I’m late on this, but the scampi COTW is the funniest one I’ve read in months. Nice one, “Edward.”
Lettuce
July 21st, 2008 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

The jointly kerchiefed Mary Worth and Kelly Welly are both auditioning for the role of “Mira” in the upcoming “League of Extraordinary Gentlement and Horrible Comic Harridans.” Just as soon as Alan Moore and Satan cash their respective checks.
MORGO
July 21st, 2008 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

MW: SAILBOATS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!
Yahtzee
July 21st, 2008 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

I suppose Mary Worth’s genitals are also “what’s old is new again.” Too bad that Jeff’s “boat” can only provide a “mini-cruise.”
jayjaybear
July 21st, 2008 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

No, NO! “Plugger’s Crack” is NOT a drug…it’s actual Plugger’s crack. And God help us if anyone starts sniffing THAT…
bup
July 21st, 2008 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

Josh, don’t you EVER go off on a female genitalia motif again on a day you’re not discussing Cassandra Cat.

EVER.
Sorako-chan
July 21st, 2008 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

Why does everyone in Barney Google and Snuffy Smith look to be approximately 93? For god’s sake, even the “kids” look like wrinkled midgets!
Art Vandelay
July 21st, 2008 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft claims he had a moment of happiness!? Well, that’s one more than that stupid comic strip has ever given anyone else.
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 21st, 2008 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

Raj: …it all happened when Jughead missed lunch.
Jughead: [speads legs stoically] [grr! grr! grr! grr! grr! grr!]
Raj: He has a pit bull gnawing on his genitals!
PeteMoss
July 21st, 2008 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

#12 DAS, yeah, jayjaybear, right. I was probably thinking about plumbers’ crack. Similar, but the therapeutic properties are debatable.
Lake Eerie
July 21st, 2008 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

I’m willing to bet a small amount that two of the three contestants featured in tomorrow’s Jeopardy did not go on to write a blog post referencing comic characters’ genitals.
Can’t speak for Trebek, though
Lake Eerie
July 21st, 2008 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

#19 Sorako:
Rotted-out teeth, apparently
Tom
July 21st, 2008 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

Obviously, Mary Worth’s statement that “what is old is new again” is her way of telling Jeff she has Botox-enhanced labia. He may even learn this fact for himself, as her left hand in this panel is obviously trying to “fluff” him into action. So far, he’s remained stubbornly flacid, and Mary is beginning to wonder what other uses the Botox might have.
Tom
July 21st, 2008 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

Having just written about Mary Worth’s labia, I now feel soiled and in need of a shower.
SF_Reader
July 21st, 2008 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

Since you brought up Mary Worth’s genitals, do you think they’re covered in cob webs from lack of use? Does the refrigerator light come on when she spreads her legs? Or perhaps there are lost boy scouts and motorcyclists in there. Just wondering.
Roadside Emma
July 21st, 2008 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

Also, obviously “What is old is new again” is referring to the vaginoplasty on Mary’s genitals. And let the nightmares start…..now.
Mac
July 21st, 2008 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

Does Elrod’s art look different to anyone else today? Not better, of course, and it could hardly be worse, but different?

I suppose I should make a reference here to a common synonym for “cat” but I will demur.
Violet
July 21st, 2008 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

There seems to be a considerable discrepancy between Mary’s words and her expression in panel two. Her words convey joyful affection; her face suggests an unsettling combination of “I am concentrating all my pyrokinetic powers on blowing up your head” and “My ascot is itchy.”
Tom
July 21st, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

Re: today’s PBS … does it bother anyone else to realize the full implications of today’s strip are that Pig and Pigita are sleeping together???
Lake Eerie
July 21st, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

Let’s hear it for the wives of oru comics page superheroes!
Phantom: “Kit, he’s mad!” Says the wife of a man who wears a purple suit to convince people he’s an immortal thwarter of evil.
Spider-Man: “I’ll come with you in case your flu acts up again.” And do what, exactly? Have some over-the-counter medicine handy in case your under-achieving husband comes hurtling down from the top of the Chysler building with nausea, vertigo and a runny nose?
John C Fremont
July 21st, 2008 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

MT – I thought the meat in question belonged to ol’ Moss.

Ew, by the way.
zenvelo
July 21st, 2008 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

I’m sorry Josh, but what feels familiar yet fresh is Mary’s scaly warty hands using a different grip to give Jeff a hand job….
QM
July 21st, 2008 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

MW: You don’t pilot a sail boat with a steering wheel. Gah. I’m seasick.

Well, I guess that sailboat I was on that had a steering wheel instead of a tiller didn’t exist after all.
Brick Bradford
July 21st, 2008 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

This is, without question, one of the vilest posts ever.

Yup, I’m lovin’ it.
PeteMoss
July 21st, 2008 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

Fresh…like scampi at the Bum Boat.
BigTed
July 21st, 2008 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

Is that girl the first dog-and/or-bear-looking female Plugger? Maybe sniffing crayons is what turns them into chickens.
MoroccoMole
July 21st, 2008 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

Look, if Mary Worth is excited about her vaginal rejuvenation, more power to her. But if she starts waxing poetic about her anal bleaching, I’M OUTTA HERE!
Ogg Ogglesby
July 21st, 2008 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

MW: “What is old is new again”. Yes, thanks to Mary’s purchase of an alum based lubricating gel.

Now I have to go wash out my brain with Clorox.
SpiffBereft
July 21st, 2008 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

Note to Jeff: That ain’t the briny deep you’re smelling.

Well Josh started it…
Sequitur
July 21st, 2008 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

MT: Now, it’s suppose to be nightime. Yet, there’s plenty of light not only on the meat but on Kelly and her camera(? looks like an old 8mm) as well. What’s she got, a big spotlight or something? Like a self-respecting big cat will waltz out into the spotlight and grabs the bacon. Does Kelly think the cat is Heart Of The City or something? Does Kelly think she’s hiding? I’m outta here.
Jesse Cline
July 21st, 2008 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

I always figured the scent of bacon was a Plugger’s aromatherapy.
Baka Gaijin
July 21st, 2008 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

All Mary Worth ~~genitals~~ Contributors: Knock it off! Some of us have to go to bed right now. Images of Mary Worth’s leathery, shriveled up, dust bunny-filled, hagged-out woman parts do not portend a good night’s sleep! If I die before I wake, I DO NOT want that as the last memory I make.
Honeypot
July 21st, 2008 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

Hey 31 Tom!

Re: today’s PBS … does it bother anyone else to realize the full implications of today’s strip are that Pig and Pigita are sleeping together???

Even worse, given that sad little love letter, not it’s not “are sleeping together” – it’s “were”. I’m sure this is the last straw for Pigita, who has frequently had cause to be annoyed at Pig. It’s even more horrifying if you realize Pig must have had something going for him to attract a gal like Pigita.

And yes, it bothers me that I thought about that while reading it.
Tom
July 21st, 2008 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

Just imagine Mary’s spread legs welcoming you into a blissful nest of sleep, where you will dream wrapped in the comforting embrace of her wrinkled yet supple thighs.
Baka Gaijin
July 21st, 2008 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

#42 Sequitur: I’m guessing Ms. Welly is using infrared film in her 1942 Kodak Brownie. She’s going for that freaky, coo-coo ka-ka shot that’ll go just fine in High Times or LSD Monthly that she’s a stringer for.
Dingo
July 21st, 2008 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

I don’t know. There’s something about imagining Mary Worth’s sharpei-esque vagina fluttering in the sea breeze that doesn’t bring April freshness to mind.
Baka Gaijin
July 21st, 2008 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

#46 Tom and #48 Dingo: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I’m not going to sleep, I’m not going to sleep, I’m not going to sleep. [rocking back and forth] I’m not going to sleep…
Obélix
July 21st, 2008 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

Whassup with Papi Baldo? Latin was never spoken in Hungary (unless it was in a classroom). How does the artist expect to be a respected minority cartoonist if he doesn’t know the difference between Hungary and Romania?
Dingo
July 21st, 2008 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

Baka Gaijin, go to sleep imagining this:

A crew of burly forestry workers are clearing the brush from Mary Worth’s vagina. They wear gas masks and protective clothing. With high-powered hoses they wash down the walls and hack away at the brush with machetes. Suddenly, they see movement! Out of one of the wrinkled flaps emerges a boy. He’s naked and cowering in fear. It’s David Archuleta and he needs to be comforted.

Nighty-night.
Tom
July 21st, 2008 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

Y’know, I bet Mary stores spare bits of scampi there, in case she gets peckish. As a bonus, the scent of aging scampi would probably work as an air freshener for anyone brave enough to venture into those regions….
Baka Gaijin
July 21st, 2008 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

#51 Dingo: It’s bad enough you mentioned FOOB in post 48 (”April freshness”). Now you’re just rubbing it in. Ewww, now I’m grossing myself out. Just stop it. Right now would be a great time for a blue screen of death. Dammit, I run a Mac.

#53 Tom: Leave pecking and scampi out of Mary’s…BLAM! There, my head just asploded.
Tom
July 21st, 2008 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

Well, I’m sure April’s “bits” are much fresher than Mary’s. April’s are as yet untouched by man, because she’s not “roadside” material, whereas Mary’s have been touched by any men she can get drunk or drugged enough not to realize what he’s doing.

Plus, the scampi does get a bit ripe after a while.
Josh
July 21st, 2008 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

#50 Obélix — Technically speaking the western half of Hungary was part of the Roman Empire, and was probably inhabited by Latin-speakers right up until the Slavs came in the early 600s (who were in turn pushed out by the Hungarians in the 900s).

Sadly, none of the clues in my Jeopardy game revolved around this particular set of knowledge.

Josh
Lisa
July 21st, 2008 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

Oy.

Good luck on Jeopardy, Josh, although you’re already done. I hope you went for the big one!
commodorejohn
July 21st, 2008 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

#50 Obélix – It’s been my impression that the only thing required to be a “respected minority cartoonist” (you know, as opposed to a good minority cartoonist*) is the ability to convince Joe Whiteguilt that you “address cutting-edge topics relevant to the [Hispanic|African-American|upper East Uzbekistani] community.”

* Lord knows how Aaron MacGruder managed to achieve both.
Steve the Pocket
July 21st, 2008 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

I feel like I ought to be commenting on today’s 9 Chickweed Lane… anyone remotely familiar with “tentacle” hentai would be pretty disturbed by the suggestion of it in a newspaper comic strip. Ironically, I think the most disturbing thing about it is Edda’s total (and totally unmerited) lack of expression in that panel.
PeteMoss
July 21st, 2008 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

Alex: “For $200 – This 4th Century war resulted in a Spartan victory and reshaped the Ancient Greek world.”

*Buzzz*
Josh: “What is Mary Worth’s vagina?”
PeteMoss
July 21st, 2008 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

Alex: “Sorry, Josh, my mistake. I misread the question. I meant to say ‘4th Century B.C.’” The correct answer is Peloponnesian War.

Josh: In the form of a question, Alex!
Luprand
July 21st, 2008 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

I am shocked. Absolutely shocked. All these comments on Mary Worth’s nethers, and no one is surprised when Kelly Welly calls hers “that slab of bacon.”
Batman Beatles
July 21st, 2008 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

9CL – Today’s strip made me think of this disturbing PSA in which this girl’s experience with sexual abuse is represented by a slimy pink tentacle.
AhClem
July 21st, 2008 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

THIS HAS BEEN A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY INTERNET SYSTEM.

If the ongoing discussion about Mary Worth’s leathery vagina wasn’t able to crash the Internet, then it should easily be able to withstand a nuclear attack.

That is all.
Phoebe
July 21st, 2008 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

Ah, the Canadian wilderness, with it’s abundance of animal life – from the majestic angry moose to the talking horse, from the vicious pet bear to the lion.

Jack Elrod is snorting something highly potent.
Les of the Jungle Patrol
July 21st, 2008 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

Asian stereotypes in Curtis . . . I guess the strip is fighting certain forms of racism.

Talk of Mary Worth’s bits . . . oddly arousing. In totally unrelated news, I got my testosterone levels checked by my doctor and they seem really high. I should be getting buff. Instead, I’m pondering being fluffed by Mary Worth. But even more, I’m thinking of a shirtless Sam Driver. It all seems so wrong and yet . . . so right!
Brick Bradford
July 21st, 2008 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

Okay, I take it back. I plan to take an oath of celibacy (since thoughts of Marys’ Mary have driven all sexual desire from me forever) and then run screaming into the night until I fall into the sweet embrace of death.
Beatrice
July 21st, 2008 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

How many boxes of crayons does a Plugger child get, anyway? I’m guessing one, and then the kid is reduced to mixing earwax, paraffin, and food coloring.
Islamorada Girl
July 21st, 2008 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

That is not a sailboat in Mary Worth. Judging by the bridge, it’s a big old stinkpot powerboat like a Mainline.
Dr. Weird
July 21st, 2008 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

Isn’t the single defining feature of pluggers that they are old? Old and reactionary, liking things the simple way they used to be? How can a child be a plugger?!
El Santo
July 21st, 2008 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

Congratulations, Dr. Weird for being comment #69 on a genitals-themed Curmudgeon entry!
annabananna
July 21st, 2008 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

However, the remark that “what is old is new again” clearly does not refer to Mary’s genitals.
annabananna
July 21st, 2008 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

Red crayola…mmmmm…smells like genitals…
Jay
July 21st, 2008 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

It bothers me that Mary Worth’s mouth is closed as she speaks in the second panel. It’s like she’s sighing in pleasure that something about her is finally fresh again.
Xopher.tm
July 21st, 2008 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

Good Christ, Josh…
bats :[
July 21st, 2008 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

Sex, sex, sex. That’s all they think about, huh?

61. Luprand: well I, for one, can think of other things!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2690126365/sizes/o/
commodorejohn
July 21st, 2008 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

#71 annabananna – You never know; perhaps she had a hymen reconstruction done.
Dr. Weird
July 21st, 2008 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

El Santo, 70-

I feel so dirty. Wait, I didn’t comment on Mary Worth’s privates… does that mean I’m clean? I’m so confused!

Especially as to why we’re talking about her instead of, say, Luann, who TJ may soon be exploring the parts in question of.

Oh, that’s why.
monsieurjohn
July 21st, 2008 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

I get genuinely uncomfortable just looking at today’s Mary Worth. I’m not sure why… it’s as if millions of comics readers’ voices cried out in terror–and were suddenly silenced.

*shudder*
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 21st, 2008 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

#77 -

–I know! I think I’ll notch it up a bit…
–What happened to my genitals?!
–?!
Talking Squirrel
July 21st, 2008 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

#7 Renee J: “Does this mean Mary had that talk with her mother about feeling fresh?”

I think more likely it means she had the Detrol Discussion with Sex Organ, MD. That’s the only thing that would allow a woman of her vintage to go bouncy-bouncy-bouncy over the bounding brine without spending all her time in the head, instead of (Jeff hopes) giving it.

#68 I-Girl: “That is not a sailboat in Mary Worth. Judging by the bridge, it’s a big old stinkpot powerboat like a Mainline.”

Yep, way too big a greenhouse. Probably a garbage scow. But what I want to know is whether she’s got “Bum Boat” emblazoned in big letters on her stern — Jeff’s boat, that is. And whether he plans to head for the poop deck and show her his little dinghy, or whether they’ll will repair directly to the fo’c’sle for some fancy fo’c'kin.
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 21st, 2008 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

(Wordpress ate my ~~genitals~~ beamed musical notes entity in the last line there. Oh, well.)
anon anon
July 21st, 2008 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

FOOB:

…..?…..
Tracer Bullet
July 21st, 2008 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

Josh is a one-eyed cat, peepin’ in a seafood store.
Art Vandelay
July 21st, 2008 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

FOOB is saying that Iris is a selfish beeyotch because she left Jim staring off into space for a few seconds while saying hi to her friends in the elevator, leaving her only 23 hours, 59 minutes and 52 other seconds of the day to dote on her non-speaking boyfriend.

Pattersons deserve better than that kind of abuse! When Elly stops by her father’s place with her monthly casserole, she’ll probably point that out to the selfish, ungrateful Iris.
Dingo
July 21st, 2008 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

Skank Muffins

1 cup Cuckold
1 sprig Ripe vagina
1/2 tsp. Meddle!®
1/2 Tsp. Rotten egg

Separate ingredients. Leave apart for at least three days. Allow to stew in own juices.

Bring together. Serve with seafood scampi.

Take vagina out of wrapper. Allow to breathe. Spread cuckold over vagina. Wait.

And wait.
Pepperoni Détournées
July 21st, 2008 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

#50: That’s weird. I always thought “Latino” referred to people from Latin America. Does that mean I was wrong to complain about Enrique Iglesias being in the “Latin music” section? Wait–no, I didn’t say that. Enrique Iglesias? Who listens to that?? Ahem. Um, I’m gonna go now.
Art Vandelay
July 21st, 2008 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

PS, Jim and Iris aren’t married, are they? So what’s to stop her from just handing off ol’ Boxcar onto his daughter and splitting for Florida?

It’s not like she’ll be allowed to inherit any part of his estate, she’s only taking care of him nonstop, and she’s certainly not a Patterson, so she can forget that idea. When Boxcar kicks off, his money goes to the college funds of Robin and Meredith.
survivor
July 21st, 2008 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

Mr. George Shambarger from Exeter, NH must have oppressively denied his wife any opportunity whatsoever to build up her self-esteem.

“Honey? I wrote a letter to that ‘Pluggers’ cartoon. It’s about how the smell of crayons is perhaps the only thing in my life that brings me any joy.” Crayons are my happy place. Aren’t you proud of me?

“YOU ARE NOTHING, WOMAN, NOTHING! Let me see this … WHAT? You signed YOUR NAME to the letter to Pluggers?!? NO WIFE OF MINE IS ALLOWED TO DISPLAY INDIVIDUALITY! You are Mrs. GEORGE Shambarger from now on – do you understand me, BITCH? Now go make yourself useful, you worthless loser.

*sniff* *SNIIIIIIIIIIFF* *SNIIIIIIIIIIF*
Trix
July 21st, 2008 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

#69: I’m not even going to go there, what with all this talk of Mary’s bits and Jeff’s whatever. But I have to tell you that in my part of the country plugger children are the norm…Harsh. And Josh, we watch Jeopordy every night. Under the influence. Hey, just to show up. Great fun. You are a smart guy and immensely amusing. Genitalia, you just have to giggle like a girl.
Farley's Revenge
July 21st, 2008 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

# Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division says:
July 21st, 2008 at 3:00 pm

#76: Farley’s Revenge–

The saying ” A still tongue makes a happy life” is the unofficial motto of my workplace, but in the TV show The Prisoner, it was on posters all over the Village where secret agents who knew too much would be kidnapped and imprisoned. The idea was that once they broke you you were well advised to keep your trap shut unless it suited your captors otherwise. Number Six, aka The Prisoner was much in agreement with you.

When BBCAmerica broadcast episodes of “The Prisoner”, the spouse watched avidly. My father was also an avid fan. I made it through two episodes before wandering off to read a book. The allure of that show is as incomprehensible to me as the show itself.

Still, there are times when a still tongue is most…inconvenient.
fahrenheit451
July 21st, 2008 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

#87-

I think Chinuts and Iwis tied the knot, but I have no idea for how long in FOOB years…
Dingo
July 21st, 2008 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

Vagina Song

Nothin’ could be finah than a Mary Worth vagina in the mornin’
Nothin’ could be cuter than her eyes while rammin’ pooter in the mornin’
Where the morning meddles mingle with the past
Listen to pretty stories of Rita and ol’ Kelrast
Sailin’ and regalin’ on the men she’s dominatin’ in the mornin’
Cory men all flutter up and ask her be their fluffer for spawnin’
If she had Aladdin’s lamp for only a day
She sashay with her riding crop and keep men at bay
Nothin’ could be finah than a Mary Worth vagina in the mornin’
Don in MO
July 21st, 2008 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

Speaking of genitals, I believe that I’ve decoded the recent Judge Parker strips, dealing with Sam’s alleged hatred of golf. Except it’s not exactly golf…

Sam (looking at clubs): “When was the last time I used these?” [Hmmmmm]

Abbey: “Never. Not even when I’m standing here with “clothing” that’s actually painted onto my bare body. At least Gloria’s friend Steve knows how to use his 1-iron.”
Hasty Penguin
July 21st, 2008 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

It’s one thing for Lynn Johnston to cruelly keep Grandpa Jim alive, but it’s a cruelty to all the readers that on this current story arc, Mary Worth’s boat won’t capsize, eliminating both herself and Jeff and introduce another drug pusher as the main character trying to interfere with boring people’s lives in a more interesting way.
Farley's Revenge
July 21st, 2008 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

FOOB: A few years ago, I woke up to find I was breathing through a trach tube. This tube did not allow me to speak. I quickly discovered that people tended to treat me as though I were a piece of furniture and speak around, over, and everywhere but TO me. I was privy to conversations that should have taken place outside of the hospital, simply because the workers forgot that I was alert and coherent even though I couldn’t speaki.

Unlike Gramps, though, I made sure they soon realized the error of their assumption.

If I were drawing Gramps, he wouldn’t just sit there like a lump. If I were drawing Gramps, he’d take one of his semi-functioning hands and whap the nearest Margo-Saturn-boxcar person to get their attention and remind them he’s not dead yet, no matter how much they might wish he were.
Farley's Revenge
July 21st, 2008 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

Oops…speak is NOT spelled “speaki”. Apparently even the preview doesn’t help me.
strawberrymom22
July 21st, 2008 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

Just a thought: I really don’t think today’s FOOB is about Iris and others ignoring Grampa and him feeling left out. I think its about him listening to everyone else chattering and thinking about all the conversations that have gone on in the elevator.
With that said; if he could’ve listened to the conversation between Mary and Jeff today he probably would wish that his stroke had left him deaf.
Furthermore, if I’m right about the FOOB strip today; it’s even lamer than usual.
Deena in OR
July 21st, 2008 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

97 strawberrymom22-
That’s how I read it, too.
Although there’s also this cautionary tale. I once worked with a woman who was unable to speak due to a traumatic brain injury. People were not always discreet or appropriate about the way they shared in front of her. There were a lot of somewhat abashed, concerned faces about when she began to regain her ability to speak.
Twinkles the Elf
July 21st, 2008 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

I thought the point of FOOB was that everybody shut up the minute Iris and Jim got on the elevator. Implying that they were talking about Jim (or, less likely, Iris). So he was wishing the walls could fill him in on what they’re saying about him?

Or maybe the elevator leads directly to the execution, incineration, and disposal chamber? Where they’re taking Jim? And he’s wishing his disposed-of predecessors could scream till somebody comes?

It’s hard to even come up with a theory when you can’t tell if people’s mouths are open or shut.
Doug Puthoff
July 21st, 2008 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

Pluggers–that kid is not a Plugger. That kid has a 64-crayon box. Plugger kids are lucky to have 16.
mumbles
July 21st, 2008 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

Jeopardy Josh-Watch, day 1 – no sighting yet. But thankfully Josh was spared from Trebek reading sultrily the clues for the perfume category in the first round. A little too into that stuff, Alex. Gah.

(I’m so excited for our Curmudgeon in Chief!)
xenolon
July 21st, 2008 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

I could have gone the REST of my LIFE, without the phrase “Mary Worth’s Genitals” being painfully and irrevocably burned into my mind.

On the upside, I now know what to name my punk band.
He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus
July 21st, 2008 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

I thought Jughaid’s conversation seemed familiar. Ladies and genitalmen:
We was bein’ chased by a bear!!
Yes, I know the font is wrong.

I also did another one because I wasn’t sure which way of ending it I liked better: The font is still wrong!
commodorejohn
July 21st, 2008 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

#103 He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus – Haha, that’s fantastic!
Joe Blevins
July 21st, 2008 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

Wait… children can be pluggers now, too? Is this a new thing? How heartbreaking! Calling a kid a plugger is like saying, “College? Rewarding career? Happiness? Physical attractiveness? Being able to see your own feet? Forget about those, kid. Here, have 8 or 9 more Manwiches and then cry yourself to sleep during Wheel of Fortune. Oh, and here’s some insulin for when you invariably contract Type II diabetes.”
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
July 21st, 2008 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

#64 Phoebe:

Ah, the Canadian wilderness, with it’s abundance of animal life – from the majestic angry moose to the talking horse, from the vicious pet bear to the lion.

Talking HØrses aren’t exactly unknown here in the States, you know. Well, typing HØrses, anyway.

#65 Les: Dude, in the name of all that’s holy, get your levels stabilized! Sheesh… Mary Worth as a fluffer… GAAAhhh!

FW: “Who’d have thought that thirty years later we’d still be dateless and hanging around together?” Well, I can’t really say, having not followed much of the Winker over the years, but how about… everyone?
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
July 21st, 2008 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

FOOB: I thought that the point of today’s strip is, here is poor Jim, wheeled in to the elevator and facing the back wall while everybody around him ignores him as he stares at the back of the elevator. He wishes he had somebody talking to him — even the wall is better than nobody, and being ignored.

I think that’s the point.

In my opinion Jim is one of the few (including April) sympathetic characters in this strip. I like Iris, too.
heynoni
July 21st, 2008 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

Ok, I haven’t been reading Mark Trail, so this is the first time I’ve seen this “hungry lion” they speak of. But I wonder, is this “lion” better known around the neighborhood as “Mister Tinkles” or “Fluffy” or such like?
Eau de Plugger
July 21st, 2008 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

If Josh plugs this blog on Jeopardy, it’s my perverse hope that all of the blue hairs that check out the site are greeted by this thread.
Harold
July 21st, 2008 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

I liked letting the imaginary fifth panel in today’s FOOB be “…they would tell these babbling idiots to SHUT UP!!!”
man behind the curtain
July 21st, 2008 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

MW — “Mary Worth’s Genitals” — Tonight’s Dinner Special at the Bum Boat. Only $9.95 with house salad and two vegetables.
Red Greenback
July 22nd, 2008 at 12:33 am [Reply]

Boy oh boy is Jeff going to be in for a surprize when he finally gets to pull off Mary’s Depends! He’s expecting a heapin’ helpin’ of red snapper, but he is gonna get diddley-squat because MARY WORTH HAS NO GENITALIA!!!!!!
yeff
July 22nd, 2008 at 2:31 am [Reply]

re: Pearls Before Swine

Honeypot @45: “Pig must have had something going for him to attract a gal like Pigita.”

Well, Pig *is* hung like a boar.

- yeff
yeff
July 22nd, 2008 at 2:33 am [Reply]

Hey, Mr Jeff Corey – that’s *two* hands on the wheel at all times! Fooling around with the MWG while driving the boat leads to one of those embarassing visits from the Coast Guard.

“Really, Officer, it was a freak accident!”

- yeff
Sjofn
July 22nd, 2008 at 2:34 am [Reply]

Does the refrigerator light come on when she spreads her legs?

This gave me a mental image that is now seared into my mind’s eye, although if there is a merciful God, it will not be forever … I don’t usually get ones that are so vivid, but just. Gah. It’s burned right in there.

It is a comic-form mental image too, so the light pouring out from the coochal area is more flash-light-esque than it probably should be. Somehow that makes it that much more disturbing.
InkAllergy
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:37 am [Reply]

The idea of Mary Worth getting nailed on the poop deck while that outfit is untidily bunched at her feet could cause me to develop drinking problems.
Terry
July 22nd, 2008 at 8:48 am [Reply]

Lolsworth said:

“Is it a federal offence to type the words “Mary Worth’s Genitals” ”

It’s infinitely preferable to “Mary’s genitals worth”
mattt
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:26 am [Reply]

GT I have to admit to a certain fascination with this turn of events in Gil Thorp. Living near Kalamazoo, I can tell you the Kalamazoo Kings are a real team whose general manager is indeed Joe Rosenhagen. What is his connection with the writer of GT? If only I dared call and ask, but I fear the elaborate fantasy of GT would collapse when confronted with the proper proportions and correct perspective of reality. Why risk it?
Vyola
July 22nd, 2008 at 10:49 am [Reply]

More information about Mary Worth’s genitals can be found on the Internet.

Alas.
MissionMan
July 22nd, 2008 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

Mary’s comment about “What is old is new again” couldn’t be more true — I just threw up a little in my mouth. Mmmmm…. peanut butter.
Forrest
July 22nd, 2008 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

What magical land do the inhabitants of Mark Trail reside in, wherein moose and lion share a habitat? The San Diego Zoo? Is it possible that Kelly et al are themselves a fascinating human exhibit, meant to expose the tedious boredom of human existence?

God I hope that lion eats her.
Emily
July 22nd, 2008 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

I’m sure Kelly will get awesome pictures shooting at night, with no light sources, using what looks like a camera obscura.
anne
July 22nd, 2008 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

Congrats Josh!!!!! You were FANTASTIC on Jeopardy, i was really impressed. So glad I remembered to Tivo it!

Other commenters, Josh don’t read this: um, I kind of have a little crush on Josh now? Is that weird?
unctifer
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

#72 (annabanana):

Red crayola…mmmmm…smells like genitals…

Well, that certainly adds an extra level of ickiness to this Family Circus cartoon from August of aught-five. Eek.
Galatasaray
July 26th, 2008 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

Very good site,thanks.
Patrick
July 26th, 2008 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

The little plugger could be commenting on genitals if the last two words in the speech bubble were to be removed.

Please read the posting and discussion policies before posting. You are not required to supply an e-mail address to comment; however, doing so decreases the likelihood of your comment being flagged as spam. E-mail addresses will never be made public or seen by anyone but the site writers, who may use them to communicate with commentors.

Archives:

Comment of the week:

Main navigation:

Main content:

A thoroughly repulsive post wherein Josh makes cheap jokes about genitals

126 responses to “A thoroughly repulsive post wherein Josh makes cheap jokes about genitals”

Leave a Reply

All the cool kids…

Randomly Selected Post O’ Mystery