Main content:


Admittedly, they’re probably not paid very well

Mary Worth, 2/26/13

Welp, now that Mary’s not-so-secret-admirer/cake decorating partner has been dispatched off to the outer darkness New York City, we’re ready for a new adventure! And it involves … Mary forcing a neighbor to open up and be friends with everyone against his will, when he’s sick and too weak to resist her? Sounds about right. Anyway, I’m mostly mesmerized by the soup Mary is pouring endlessly from a tiny pan into a tiny bowl. It’s flowing at waterfall strength for at least the time it takes her to say two sentences. I imagine it moves in slow motion, like the blood pouring from the elevator in The Shining. Is this magic soup? Will it magically make Tom Harpman acceptably neighborly, or maybe kill him so that someone more fun can move into 3B?

Funky Winkerbean, 2/26/13

Oh, man, the stroke larfs are continuing over at Funky Winkerbean! Now that Ann has to give up the job that gave her such joy to care for her broken shell of a husband, the gang discusses who will be the next to suffer. Hey, Linda, usually when people are making “jokes” about their husbands being so excitable that they’ll inevitably stroke out, they at least pretend to smile.

Apartment 3-G, 2/26/13

I don’t know why it makes me so sad that I’m better at keeping track of Ruby’s hair color than the people who are literally paid by the owners of Apartment 3-G’s intellectual property rights to keep track of Ruby’s hair color, but it does genuinely make me sad! So, here it is: Ruby is a redhead! You can tell because her name is Ruby, which is a red gemstone. I’m willing to accept Manic Panic and even black with Manic Panic highlights, but not just straight-up goth-style inky blackness.

Herb and Jamaal, 2/26/13

Ha ha, yes, Herb still is animalistically gobbling down his food in a socially problematic manner! Jamaal, on the other hand, is standing silently and watching his friend eat from the next room, which is totally normal behavior.

Marvin, 2/26/13

Huh, it seems that Marvin is capable of recognizing that other people feel shame when they poop in their pants. He just can’t feel it himself. Marvin never feels shame about anything. But especially not about pooping in his pants.

341 responses to “Admittedly, they’re probably not paid very well

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    Mutts — I don’t think “Say it, don’t spay it!” means what you think it does.

    Dick Tracy — Yep, the mayor and Simon Baux go waaaay back. They first met in an Ojibwe sweat lodge when she was 14 ((giggle)) and Sweatbox was 44.

  2. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Jamaal is standing the next room to keep from being splattered by flying food.

  3. KreatureFeatures
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    MT: Uh oh, Mark is furrowing his brow. Soon, from his ears, will come the steam.

  4. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    Ann Fairgood’s husband, the principal of Westview High School, had a stroke? Pictures, Batiuk, or it didn’t happen.

  5. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail

    Mark is puzzled because he knows Rod Bassy is a former U.S. Marine (“The Few, the Proud”). And I’m inclined to agree with Mark: Bassy’s lack of pride in his accoutrements isn’t very Marine-like. Semper Fish, you jarheads!

  6. Chareth Cutestory
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    A3G: Ruby is one of those people who looks better in profile, but looks like Rocky after 17 rounds of boxing when viewed straight on.

    Herb and Jamaal: A Marvin crossover strip would reveal the real reason why its called fast food.

  7. Écureuil Écumant
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    S-M: You’re in for it now, Spidey. The missile has switched sensors and is homing in on your confusion aura.

  8. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    H&J: Yeah, if only there were a restaurant that served up real food. Food for the soul. Soul food. Hey, maybe these two guys could run it! Of course, they’d have to close at lunchtime to go out to “B’s” so they could buy food someone would actually want to eat, because they’re such shitty cooks.

  9. Ratiocinator
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    3G: The coloring drones didn’t make a mistake, Josh; that’s the black-haired Gabriella, posing as Ruby. She isn’t even bothering with a disguise; she knows that all she needs to do to fool somebody as dim as Lu Ann is fake a southern accent and say “Hi Lu Ann, it’s me, Ruby, your mother!”

    9CL: Cows can’t clap.

    That’s the best I got for today. But Brooke will give me fodder for better snark soon enough, being Brooke and all.

    ASM: The missile is equally attracted to Spider-Man and Daredevil.

    I think I’m just gonna leave that as is. Nothing I can say could possibly make it sound sillier than it already does.

    FW: Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure all of you will have strokes or another kind of brush with/date with death Real Soon Now.

    Luann: Congratulations; this strip’s dialogue has reached a level of vagueness that would make “Herb & Jamaal” proud.

    JP: Hey look everybody, Bea’s back! Awesome!

    Oh wait, this is just somebody who looks kind of like Bea? Not awesome.

    Slylock: Snowmen hate playing “Got your nose!” That is not stopping this little girl. She has got that snowman’s nose and won’t let it go, the meanie.The boy is appalled, and the duck is so horrified that it’s causing him to hover somehow. The dog and rabbit don’t give a shit, and the smaller snowman is just happy it isn’t her.

  10. Écureuil Écumant
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    MW: Don’t you know that raw potatoes can contain cyanide? And have you no manners? Offer Mary a bite!

  11. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith — “Poetry” doesn’t rhyme with “amen.” And even dead,
    Ogden Nash can still write rings around John Rose.

    Albert Camus at the Hootin’ Holler Rhymin’ Contest:

    Albert — “We do not know how to see reality.”
    Jedge — “It’s a rhymin’ contest, you beef wit!”

  12. pugfuggly
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    MW I can already see tomorrow’s strip:” Oh my god Mary, this the best soup ever! You should enter the annual Santa Royale Soup-Making competition next week! I’ll be your assistant: let’s watch a few videos of soil coming to a slow simmer and then practice hoisting dutch ovens…”

    FW Eww…that’s kind of bleak. Unless…..maybe I could pretend that by ‘having a stroke’ they’re referring to masturbation? Nope, now it’s sad and creepy.

    A3G “See? See Ruby? I just got a call from Martin! On my phone! I can operate a cellular phone! LOOK AT THE PHONE, RUBY!!!”

    H&J I see Herb likes to take a break from his munching and gobbling to have a quick nosh. One of those must be a bag of knishes.

    Marvin What an advanced pre-K class: they’re already learning about sex chromosomes.

  13. sully
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    I must admit I’m relieved. I thought the hilarious punchline panel in H&J was going to be Herb on the crapper, experiencing an explosive bowel movement. Come to think of it, at least it would have been more amusing.

  14. KreatureFeatures
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Zits: A parallel stance, really? Apparently Scott and Borgman have never seen a snowboarder before. Guys, there’s this thing called Google Images that you should have consulted first.

  15. Ranger
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    MW: Was I the only one hoping for a Mary Worth/3G crossover? Does 3B have an occupant in Margo’s building?

    3G: Now that Ruby is officially a mom, she decided to change her hair to a more conservative schoolmarm look. Redheads are much too irresponsible to be single parents.

  16. Ratiocinator
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#9): Um, ignore that Luann comment, which is from yesterday’s strip.

  17. Liam
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    A3G-Sadly the rest of the apartments aren’t ready for occupation so you’ll have to keep living here, Ruby.

    Crankshaft-”Listen I’m the only one allowed to make bad jokes here.”

    DT-Your friend hit an icy patch in the road and drove his car off the road onto railroad tracks and then got hit by a train. Would also like to know the physics involved in a train hitting a car?

    FC-PJ is checking out the ass of that nurse walking by.

    JP-Wow! You found flowers. It’s not everyday that they sell flowers.

    MW-Not yet but Mary will soon be friends much to Tom’s regret.

    MW 2-”He’s also fighting some internal injuries and broken bones after I ran into him. The guy just jumped right in front of my car. I never even saw him.”

    RMMD-”Rex, I sent you to find out why I wasn’t making any money on the place. I already own it.”

  18. Écureuil Écumant
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    A3G: “black with Manic Panic highlights”

    And judging by the first panel, the accent’s definitely on the “Man”.

  19. Lake Neuron
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Ruby’s upper lip looks like a moustache in the first panel, while Marvin’s friend Carl looks like he has five o’clock shadow rather than a blush in his cheeks. The conspiracy theorist in me wants to say it’s a tie-in with one of those hair removal products you see in infomercials.

  20. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    Brewster: If you’ve been following this strip, and the science news, naming Pluto’s moons is a real thing. “Vulcan” won, by the way, submitted by none other than William Shatner. I was actually pissed when they named the big moon Charon instead of Persephone, because I liked the idea of the bride of the underworld rotating in tidal lock with Pluto (also in tidal lock). That duo will dance together long after the sun burns out, for practical purposes – all eternity. But no, the very non-cool scientists and the unknowledgeable public don’t believe in love, the language of the heavens. Arrrh.

  21. nescio
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    Meanwhile in NYC John Dill is designing a chocolate fountain in the form of Mary Worth pouring soup from a saucepan to bowl.

  22. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    A3G: Why is Margo’s dad phoning Margo’s roommate to tell her that the contractors finished the job and city inspectors have certified the place for occupancy? Shouldn’t it be Tommie? Margo? The contractors or city inspectors? The superintendent? The doorman? Uh, isn’t LuAnn a co-owner of the building?

  23. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    Today’s award for “Worst Timing for a Reference to a Johnny Cash Song” goes to yesterday’s Pardon My Planet.

    Johnny’s birthday is TODAY, Vic!

  24. pugfuggly
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#12): Yeesh. How did ‘soup’ become ‘soil’? In any event…

    ASM I’m looking forward to a plot involving a love-triangle between Daredevil, Spidey, and a confused phallic-shaped missile.

    Crankshaft What makes this strip great is that the barber looks deadly serious. “What? There’s hardly enough worth doing if I skip your ears! Now show me your hands, I wanna start on the knuckles….”

    MT Mark, I don’t think ANYONE has been proud of ANYTHING they’ve done in the back of a van since 1978.

  25. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    Frazz: even knowing that “Pago” is pronounced “Pango” doesn’t help this one.

    A&J: ROFL!

    Lio: the hazards of self-improvement.

    SBp: just called Beyonce fat.

    Bizarro: ewwwwwwww. (editor? what editor? srsly, how did this get printed?)

    Mutts: *wince*

    OBH: sl/ap for that.

    6Cx: very true. but in the meantime, puppies!!!

    Ghost-whos-end-is-to-messy-for-TheChron?

  26. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .firebending, apparently.

  27. Anonymous
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    That guy talking to LuAnne in Apt 3-G…why does he have a ribbon in his hair?

  28. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    Rare laugh in Archie.

  29. Mardou Fox
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    In such a poop-centric strip as Marvin, why is it even surprising or unsettling to me AT ALL that Marvin seems to be getting voyeuristic pleasure from watching somebody else poop? And yet it does.

  30. JohnH
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Who is lying on Mary’s floor feeding that blonde an apple?

  31. Chip Whittle
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Wow, that Mary Worth really knows how to make cooking pots vomit.

  32. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    SM: After being chased all over SF for two weeks, I got a great idea! I’m going to use my super power to stop this missile! Hey, DD, I bet you wish YOU had a superpower!

  33. bunivasal
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    Baby Huey hasn’t really gotten a lot of work since Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but I hadn’t realize he’d sunk so low as to cameo on Marvin.

  34. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    Marvin the Pooper: I actually got my daughter making a poop face on camera when she was 18 months. Yes, you can tell, it’s a certain expression. That’s ammunition that I’ll pull out and post on Youtube if she ever gets out of line as a teen.

  35. Christopher
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: “Dammit,” said Mary. “From the steam coming off this soup you’d think it would have been completely thawed by now, but, no, it’s still frozen in that weird shape it made when I wedged the Tupperware container into my fridge sideways.”

  36. Mardou Fox
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#34): My little daughter was so hilarous as a baby. Once my husband made a several-minutes-long audio tape of her crazy “pooping” vocalizations. She is a teenager now and at some point in the last year the pooping audio surfaced. It did not seem funny to her! She practically called the cops on us!

  37. LoFoMoFo
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    MW: The rheological behavior of the soup looks to be more akin to a thermoset plastic resin. He’ll have more problems than a cold if this stuff starts cross linking in his intestines.

  38. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:15 am [Reply]

  39. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    The Amazing Spider-Man: This strip couldn’t indulge in any more veiled homoeroticism if it were set in the Cardinals’ private dining room in Vatican City. Hi-yo!

  40. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    Oh, man, the stroke larfs are continuing over at Funky Winkerbean! Now that Ann has to give up the job that gave her such joy to care for her broken shell of a husband

    I’m still not buying it, Josh. We see a man sitting in a wheelchair — who may or may not be Fred Fairgood. Has anyone actually addressed him as “Fred” or “Fred Fairgood”? Has a narration box implicitly identified him as such?

    And Fred’s boy seems awfully handy with a shovel. For all we know, the REAL Fred’s body was buried in the Fairgood cellar months ago. And the “Fred” we’ve been shown is a hapless hobo Darin found at the scene of the horrific Simon Baux train wreck.

  41. AhClem
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    H&J – Herb is enjoying his meal from BacDaniel’s which consists of a Big Muck, Flies and and a large Choke.

    SM – I’ve been trying to figure out the physics of Spider Man webbing a missile that has been ambling across the sky for the past week, but instead I wind up testing the resiliency of my forehead banging against a Formica desktop.

  42. Troll
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Pibgorn: FYI, the Google results for “naked tortured ninja love thrall” aren’t nearly as exciting as one might expect.

  43. Chip Whittle
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Blondie has Elmo show Dennis how it’s done.

    Mandrake has gone into some weird territory, even for Mandrake. I think I’ve seen this on DeviantArt before clearing my browser history.

  44. Violet
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    I initially took Linda’s statement to suggest that Ann’s husband was somehow actually the first among their acquaintance to have a stroke, but then I realized I must have misinterpreted her. She probably meant the first one today.

  45. Cloudbuster
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    @Troll (#42): Oh, and when you’re drawing fairy torture porn to “ridicule” trolls who like fairy torture porn, you’re still drawing fairy torture porn! Just sayin’.

  46. Cloudbuster
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    RMMD: The greatest mysteries of this storyline: 1) Where is Junior? 2) Exactly how does Rex make a plausible argument that Melissa should invest in a money-losing hospice for cancer-stricken strippers?

    // Man, if only Rex was pitching this to Charlie Sheen, it would be a done deal!

  47. Big Bad Dave
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    Given that most Mary Worth strips make no sense at all, it’s no surprise they don’t obey the laws of physics either. Hence the soup waterfall.

  48. Marc
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    9CL- Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re a modern day Robin Hood. Except you steal livestock from hicks.

    A3G- If Lu Ann didn’t say Ruby’s name, I never would have guessed that was her. I can’t believe the people who color this strip still have jobs. What with the constantly changing hair and clothing colors.

    Luann- So Tiffany cautions Luann about being careful about what she does on the internet; Tiffany is a horrible bitch who should be ridiculed. Luann’s parent want to have the same discussion; they’re wonderful caring people.

    Mark Trail- Umm maybe Catfish doesn’t want some random mutant kid, with a 1940′s camera snooping around his van because it’s his private property? Clearly that is suspicious.

    Mary Worth- Mary is going to meddle him into the life of the party or kill him trying.

    Funky- “Just so you know Cayla, if you ever have a stroke, I’m not wasting my time taking care of you. I’ll be too busy writing you’re snoozer of a life story and turning it into my second, logic defying best seller.”

    Cranky- I hope the barber is being literal and is going to actually cut Ed’s ears off.

  49. Revenge4Aldo
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    MT Today on Mark Trail, Bluegill, the nosiest UPS man ever.

  50. Liam
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    MW-”If we can’t accuse Rod of cheating then we must accuse him of either pedophilia or bestiality. That is why I keep having Rusty try to get inside Rod’s van.”

  51. Cloudbuster
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    ASM: The missile is my new favorite character in this strip! I’m starting to picture it as sort of an eager puppy missile, chasing playfully after DD and SM. Um, I suppose that imagery will be less cute when the puppy blows its guts all over San Francisco. D’awww! *puppygutsquee*

    Also, I know, comic book physics, but what happens when a missile gets “confused” between two targets? If I was writing the code, that just wouldn’t be possible. Its logic tree would ensure that it always made a choice. I know, because comic book logic.

  52. Liam
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-While the missile was distracted it flew into an office building full of innocent people.

    MW-That’s good, Mary, now let’s get a shot of you pouring the soup into the bowl from the other side of the kitchen.

  53. Cloudbuster
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    9CL: I don’t get it. The “So-and-so is standing right behind me, isn’t she?” joke is used when you’ve just mocked someone, or made an implausibly brave statement about what you’d do if you saw her. It just doesn’t fit here, as far as I can tell. Can anyone enlighten this beefwit?

  54. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Today on smug, self-congratulatory theatre: 9 Chickweed Lane. (But when is it not? Oh, right – on Pervy Thursdays.)

  55. Cloudbuster
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#52): Good point. It’s physically/geometrically impossible for those to be two different views of the same spot.

  56. TheDiva
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    A3G: The colorists figured that as long as Ruby’s most distinguishing feature (ie. her age-inappropriate hair bow barrette) was visible, they could slide on the rest of it.

    FW: Welcome to Westview, where you pray for your death and/or the deaths of those around you.

    MW: Oh no, what deep dark secret is Tom Harpman hiding behind his closed apartment door? A secret desire to be a sculptor? Naughty bikini girl art? A cat kept in spite of Charterstone’s ironclad law against pets? I’m just itchin’ to find out, I tell you!

  57. Casino LF
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    MW: If you poured soup with the pot flipped over like that, with that much intensity, it will SPILL EVERYWHERE AND SCALD YOU.

    ASM: The slowest missile ever!

    FW: HA! HA! ROLLICKING FUN! HA!

    JP: How many servants do these people employ, exactly? Jeebis.

    RMMD: Are we going to meet Junior or what? Come on!

  58. Chip Whittle
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#48):

    Mark Trail- Umm maybe Catfish doesn’t want some random mutant kid, with a 1940?s camera snooping around his van because it’s his private property? Clearly that is suspicious.

    Me, I’ve always been willing to suppose that whatever’s inside the tinted-window vans of men passionately interested in fish is not anything I need to see.

  59. Not Just Any Dipstick
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    MW: Are you all blind? The counter just moved from Blondies’ left shoulder to her right. And Mary’s pot got bigger as it got further away. Oh the humanity!

  60. Not Just Any Dipstick
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    MW: That pot handle has a very strange strange shape too. My head hurts.

  61. Not Just Any Dipstick
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    MW: And that stove magically appears to Mary’s left. Is there no end to this madness?

  62. Not Just Any Dipstick
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#58): Afraid there might be a ‘sucker fish’ in there. So am I.

  63. Not Just Any Dipstick
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    MW: I think Mary should be worrying about that yellow waxy build-up.

  64. Marc
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    @Chip Whittle (#58): What is even more suspicious to me than Catfish’s rape van, is how openly and strongly Mark is pushing Rusty to get abducted.

  65. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    The violations of the space-time continuum in Mary Worth are one thing. But if you’re looking for a major freak-out, Jane Byrne is apparently still Mayor of Chicago in Dick Tracy. I wonder if she’s going to plow the snow that’s falling outside her window?

  66. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    Eek. </b>

  67. Holly Folly
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    I am kinda surprised that Ruby went from a decent looking women in the first panel, to an old Italian guy in panel two. You know what? Never mind, nothing in Apartment 3G surprises me anymore.

  68. Chrissy the Stooges Woman :-)
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    Mary got so caught up in last week’s cake decorating, she got distracted and is making Tom’s soup out of the leftover frosting.

  69. TheDiva
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    9CL: If you pretend that Twinkly’s expression is one of withering contempt for them both, this is kind of funny.

    C’shaft: Crankshaft has never been drawn with exceptionally hairy ears, so I’m assuming the barber is planning on stabbing him through the cochlea with his scissors.

    Luann: Remember kids, risking your dignity and privacy on the internet is no laughing matter! Unless you’re Tiffany, because she’s a bimbo and a slut and deserves your ridicule.

    yPibgorn: I find it fascinating (in the same way one finds a train wreck fascinating, or certain brands of reality programming) that despite his near-constant worship of, shall we say, assertive women, Brooke considers actual BDSM to be beyond the pale. Or maybe it’s just that being so heavily tilted towards the femdom end of the spectrum, he considers the other side of the power balance to be incomprehensible, and therefore evil.

    Pibgorn: Torture and abuse are still perfectly okay when performed against the designated antagonist, however. Especially when performed by a hot woman in skimpy clothing.

    SM: The missile’s easily confused? Must have spider-sense.

  70. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    I am used to hearing songs from my youth being used in commercials.

    just now, I realized that the latest VW ad was using the Trollolo song as a background. The meme-ification of the world is accelerating.

  71. Hibbleton
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#10): MW: Don’t you know that raw potatoes can contain cyanide? And have you no manners? Offer Mary a bite!

    That explains it. Toby munching on a raw potato seems perfectly reasonable. I thought she was eating an apple front to back, straight through the core.

  72. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Pibgorn: Can this whole strip go down a wormhole? Please?

  73. Little A.
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    A3G: I can’t figure out A FUCKING THING about what is going on, went on, or will happen in this strip. It stinks, and the only reason I look at it every day is, I enjoy the snarks here and I like to know to what idiocies they refer.

    ONE BIG HAPPY: I will say this again. I am very aware that art styles in strips evolve. However every morning I look at the daily strip and then “One Big Happy Classics” and all I can say is, it must take Mr. Detorie about ten per cent of the time he used to spend drawing his current strips, compared to the older ones. He is in a hurry and getting lazy. He is too lazy to draw the wonderful backgrounds he used to draw every day.

  74. Charterstoned
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    MW – That soup looks about as appetizing as the contents of a spittoon.

  75. Liam
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    Marvin-That kid is going to be a terrible poker player.

    A3G-”Don’t worry, Ruby. You’re going to sleep in my room under my bed.”

    MW-Ran into him or ran him down?

  76. Mikey
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    ASM: The missle’s missing the big bold “?!” with radiating lines. Detonate the damn thing Kingpin! Just make sure Daredevil dosesn’t get hurt.

  77. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    “Tom Harpman” is actually a mutant harp seal who’s trying to pass for human. And Mary has mistaken his growling and warbling for signs of a head cold.

  78. Liam
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    MW-By the pricking of my thumb something wicked this way comes.

  79. seismic-2
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Nearby, a phone call and…” Nearby to what, exactly? Aren’t Luann and faux-Ruby still in Texas, or East Dakota, or some other place in the great Terra Incognita that’s west past the edge of the known world (i.e., Hoboken)?

    RMMD: If I may play the role of Lee Falk and try to explain what’s happening for the benefit of those who came in late: Melissa (who has undergone a physical transformation that puts Ruby’s to shame!) loaned Junior the money to buy the apartment building, but since the tenants are defaulting on the rent, Junior is having trouble meeting his payments on the purchase, and he asked Melissa to take the building off his hands and assume the purchase herself. Melissa won’t do that unless she knows more about the situation in Sandy Eggo, so she sent Rex and June there on a fact-finding mission on her behalf. Now here’s the critical part – the reason she sent the Morgans instead of just going there herself is that she and Junior are attending a family wedding this weekend, and that’s why we haven’t seen Junior. Or at least I **think** that’s the case – all this happened back in August!!!

  80. Hibbleton
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    Love is..I’m tho thaw.. never mind (slinks away).

  81. Dood
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker: All these years only to learn they come from the market? Is Abbey’s guesthouse packed with bodacious racks?

  82. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Attila the Hun!

  83. Poteet
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    MW — Apparently there is yet another perk for being whatever kind of infernal entity Mary is — your soup doesn’t splash when you dump it into a bowl. Looking at the empty kitchen surfaces, I’m guessing that this magic “soup” spontaneously rose in the pan, kinda like the milk in the old fable of the miraculous pitcher. I hope it tastes better than it looks.

  84. Poteet
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    9CL — *stares at strip with disbelief, shakes head, walks away*

  85. bats :[
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#3): or, it could just be a bit o’ Trailian wit ‘n’ wisdom, bubbling (or something) to the surface.

  86. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#24): “Mark, I don’t think ANYONE has been proud of ANYTHING they’ve done in the back of a van since 1978.”

    Didn’t St. Lisa get pregnant with Darrin Fairgood in the back of a van in ’78?

  87. Poteet
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#84): Sorry, that should have been “in disbelief.” There has been an epidemic of dubious preposition use in local media, and apparently I’ve caught the bug. Arrrgh.

  88. Mibbitmaker
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#82):

    Attila the Bun: Margo Magee.

  89. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    Apt. 3-G: Ruby is a runaway from Dingburg, isn’t she.

  90. bats :[
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#82): why do I get the feeling that we’d probably see more of Albert Camus than Barney Google if it were up to you? :D

  91. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#79): I think Ruby still lives in the building, upstairs or downstairs from 3G, I forget. I thought that Luann would be staying there with her mom, fresh from thier bonding experiences. Now that 3G is repainted, she can go from living in the same apartment back to living in the same building. A real tear jerker farewell.

  92. bats :[
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#84): mr. bats :[ reads 9CL on his smartphone (yeah, not so smart, huh?), and looking over his shoulder this morning, I commented, “Oh, the same thing.”
    His reply: “Yep, until the cows come home!”

    Lame perhaps, but the funniest line in this story so far…

  93. pugfuggly
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#86):

    Didn’t St. Lisa get pregnant with Darrin Fairgood in the back of a van in ’78?

    That was the watershed moment. With one lurid act, the good name of ‘in the back of the van’ was sullied forever.

  94. Poteet
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    FW — I suppose the only other public recreation option, besides sitting on uncomfortable bleachers watching high-school sports, is going to Montoni’s to eat their alleged pizza. Official town motto — “Westview. We make Hell look good.”

  95. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    FC continuity? Yesterday, Bil was sick in bed. Today, he’s at the doctor with his family. Tomorrow, there’s a Funky Circus crossover and he’s on his deathbed with CANCERCANCERCANCER. The laughs, oh do they hurt my sides!

  96. Poteet
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:44 am [Reply]

  97. Mikey
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    MW: “Tom Harpman” is just an anagram for “Phantom Arm”. It’s clear that Mary is using her evil urine colored elixir to create an animated creature from Jim’s severed arm. Good luck Mary! Last time you tried something like this we ended up with Wilbur Weston.

  98. Ratiocinator
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    Or maybe it’s just that being so heavily tilted towards the femdom end of the spectrum, he considers the other side of the power balance to be incomprehensible, and therefore evil.

    He wouldn’t be the first if so. Say somebody’s just learned of the concept of BDSM, and they’re told that in addition to women who enjoy dominating men there are also men who enjoy dominating women, they might go “Holy shit, that guy must be misogynistic! And if he likes seeing women in pain, that is evil!”

    I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I felt that way about all doms/dommes at one point, of both sexes. What finally made me start wondering if I was wrong was when somebody told me that for a lot of doms, a big part of the appeal is seeing their partner getting off. If their partner is genuinely miserable, they won’t enjoy themselves either. It’s not like they’re monsters who love human suffering in general or anything like that.

    Also, it’s not as if anybody asked to have the fetishes they have, and I remember speaking to at least a couple of dominants who initially felt guilty about the fantasies they had about controlling or causing pain to other human beings. Eventually, though, they figured out that they wouldn’t be doing any harm as long as they were together with people who were willing and eager, and as long as they were responsible and stuck to the whole safe/sane/consensual thing.

    That’s not to say that all dominants are saints, of course; there are some irresponsible ones, and there are some legitimately abusive ones who abuse their partner’s trust by causing injury or serious emotional harm. But it’s not as though everybody not into BDSM is a saint and non-abusive either.

  99. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    SM: We confused the missile by presenting two equally appealing targets at equal distances! Now I’ll web it – oh, since I moved in closer, the missle is now coming for me again.

    Stan Lee: They’re back to where they started. Let’s rerun the last two weeks of strips and visit Disney World.

    Hack cartoonist assistant #1: Won’t the readers notice?
    Hack cartoonist assistant #2: Disney is a competing media company.
    Hack cartoonist assistant #3: Brilliant, Mr. Lee!

    Stan Lee: You get a raise #3. Congratulations. You other guys are fired. Beat it. Scram.

  100. Ratiocinator
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    Oops, forgot to click on “reply”, so to save anybody the trouble of scrolling up and looking, that last comment was a response to @TheDiva (#69).

  101. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    Baka Gaijin, have you had your morning bowl of “Circus Fun Cereal” yet?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ebwd1BbGWk0

  102. Cassandra Cat's Lawyer
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    Considering the condo lifestyle? Look no further than scenic Charterstone, where you never have to make your own meals! Stay in your own apartment and keep to yourself, and unofficial “welcome wagon” greeter Mary Worth will force her famous coagulated soup on you! Come to her apartment for a visit, and Mary will insist you try one of her baked potatoes, which you must hold in your hand and eat like an apple! Why would anyone want to live anywhere else?

  103. Sequitur
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#70):

    just now, I realized that the latest VW ad was using the Trollolo song as a background. The meme-ification of the world is accelerating.

    Now you made me look it up. You’re right!

  104. Mibbitmaker
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    yMW: Mary’s nothing if not territorial.

    MW: “Keeps to himself”?! Blasphemy! How will he find TRUE LUV?! Screw your privacy and autonomy, mister, Mary Worth is coming with her bottomless stream of Meddlin’ Soup!

    A3G: Tiny, faint voice from now-unlistened to phone: “Um…. LuAnn…… that was ‘occupancy’….. occupancy! …….Hello……. LuAnn?…….”

    FW: Of course, in this strip, everyone gets to have a stroke. There’s a line forming right now! Also, forget the levy storyline. Once again they drive the story to the levy, but the levy was dry….

    9CL: You mean Brooke applauding himself?

    Luann: You forgot your wife’s maiden name, DeGroot: Burber. (Luann’s one, too)

    Marvin: Yes, it has come to this: we are seeing a baby in the very process of taking a dump on the comics page! Probably hardly for the first time for this strip, either — literally, or metaphorically.

  105. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Confused Missile Comix: “I am at an impasse. Wherefore do I turn? A fork in the road, if roads were built of thin air? Why do I mean to do these latex creatures harm? Is it my core programming? Am I naught but a vessel of destruction? And after I reach my target, then what lies ahead for me? I see in my soul… oh shit! I’m gonna die! Woah, time to slowww it dowwwn.”

  106. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:59 am [Reply]

  107. Majicou
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    A&J: Logically, their next step should be to smash all their dishes and then set fire to their house.

    BloomCo of 1984: “QUASI”-religious? Are you fucking kidding?

    DT: Yeah, the very notion that the constantly sweaty, heavy-breathing, combover man would lure a little girl into his car… the world has gone topsy-turvy.

    Monty: Let’s kick the beat!
    Africa, Mexico, Sicily, Tijuana
    India, Osaka, Indonesia

    @Hogenmogen (#20): Never mind the fact that a) Vulcan has no particular relation to the underworld and so violates the naming theme for Pluto’s moons and b) do they really want to waste that name on a tiny speck of rock?

  108. Tom
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    I’m thinking Mary’s soup pot is a portal to another dimension.

  109. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    Dilbert — That’s a hell of a big number. But unfortunately, its a joke very few of us would get.

  110. TheDiva
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#98): True. A lot of the stuff that get people’s motors running looks strange, even occasionally disgusting, from the outside, and there’s plenty of stuff done within mutually consensual roleplay that would be dangerous/illegal/immoral/all of the above if it were to be attempted in real life.

    My point is, McEldowney is probably the last person who should be casting stones at other people’s spank material.

  111. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#90): Now that’s just not right! Suggestions appreciated.

  112. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#46): RMMD: The greatest mysteries of this storyline: 1) Where is Junior?

    So does Junior own the condo now? He’s trying to sell it because he has no money? Because he doesn’t collect rent? Did he magor in business? David Lee Roth wants to know “Have you seen Junior’s grades??

  113. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#20): I prefer “Floaty Rock Thingy”. It would also make a good name for a band.

  114. Steve
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    S-M: Spider-Man will have his revenge. The last words Kingpin will ever hear are, “You made me miss the Oscars, you bastard!”

  115. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#98): It’s not just McEl. Almost everybody is guilty to some extent of projecting their worldview on others, especially in the sexual ways. I’ve had excruciating discussions with gay people who insist that everyone is a little gay. If you like members of your own gender, you’re gay. If you’re repulsed at liking members of your own gender, your repulsion is a thin veil to cover your secret desires. If it doesn’t disgust you enough to be repulsed, then you must be partially gay, or it would repulse you.

    There ya go. Love it, hate it or completely neutral, and it’s all the same.

  116. Peanut Gallery
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#Y45): (BGSS) Challenge accepted!

    (And yes, my research does consist entirely of a quick skim over the top of the Wikipedia article.)

  117. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:15 am [Reply]

  118. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    @Majicou (#107): Vulcan is Pluto’s nephew.

    There was some concern that a mythical guy that is associated with fire would be out of place in orbit around Pluto. Plus, the small asteroids orbiting close to the Sun are “Vulcanoids”. I mean, what the hell. Can’t Persephone get a spot or what?

  119. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#106): @Rocky Stoneaxe (#77): selkie?

    But, you see, the joke is on the selkie. Because according to African legend, Mary Worth is a “hag” (no argument there) who sheds her skin every night and transforms into a ball of fire in search of blood.

  120. Majicou
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#118): Bah. The Olympians are all related in some fashion or other.

    @Mibbitmaker (#104): [9CL] That’s funny, I didn’t think applause went “fap fap fap fap.”

  121. Baka Gaijin
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    @Charterstoned (#74): Stop insulting spitoons.

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#101): What kind of sadistic monster puts an EVILSCARYCLOWN on a children’s breakfast cereal and expects to sell it to anyone but sadistic parents??? Massive marketing FAIL.

  122. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#98): Today I learned on a comics site…

  123. Doctor Handsome
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    No, J-Man, “fast food” does indeed refer to how quickly the diners are served their meals. Good joke, though! (In all seriousness, you guys, is Jamaal a fucking Martian, or what? I’m unsettled by his presence.)

  124. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    I actually think McEldowney’s problem is that he’s half-digested Foucault, he says to no one in particular…

  125. Baka Gaijin
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    Mark you nosy bitch. Behind that heavily tinted glass Rod is hiding his harem of hot sexy fishing groupies wrasslin’ on his waterbed and bouncing off the orange shag carpeted walls.

    Oh Toby, Toby, Toby. Sweet stupid Toby. One “knows” Mary Worth like one “knows” a tornado: unwanted and without warning both come blowing into your life and leave a big mess after they’re gone.

  126. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    FW: I thought that Bull would be the one with the stroke. Instead, he’s working toward myocardial infarction, just to be pig-headed.

  127. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#125): Jeff, to Mary: You are like a hurricane. There’s calm in your eye. But I’m getting blown away, to somewhere safer where the feeling stays. I want to love you, but I’m getting blown away!

  128. By Jiminy
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    http://www.seattlepi.com/comics-and-games/fun/Gil_Thorp/2013-02-23/

    I know Coach Thorpe is the closest thing Ric Devore has to a therapist, and I’m glad he’s finally confiding in Gil about his brother’s death. But is tenderly caressing his cheek really the best way to get him to open up?

  129. Alice
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    Luann: I actually did find the last panel funny today. Broken clock, twice a day, etc.

  130. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#116): Effulgent!

    Since you’ve skimmed the Wikipedia article, you know that Albert Camus died in an automobile accident in 1960. What you probably don’t know, is that the dashing author, hero of the Resistance, and youngest winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature, had fallen madly in love with a beautiful young American widow on her first visit to Europe. He made advances, with the passion and hot blood of a Pied-Noir Frenchman. She, still mourning her late husband, rejected his love. How the accident occurred is still a mystery, though it is said that Camus was distraught after a meeting with the widow’s friends, and had been drinking heavily.

    Who knows what may have happened had their love bloomed? Literature’s loss, was, once again, cake decoration’s gain.

    // Later, the widow was briefly involved with a retired American television star… but that’s another story.

  131. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#117): they do if they have castles on them.

  132. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#118):

    @Majicou (#107): Vulcan is Pluto’s nephew.

    There was some concern that a mythical guy that is associated with fire would be out of place in orbit around Pluto. Plus, the small asteroids orbiting close to the Sun are “Vulcanoids”. I mean, what the hell. Can’t Persephone get a spot or what?

    Well, sure. He was the son of Jupiter; Pluto was Jupiter’s brother. But that doesn’t mean much. The Olympians were an incestuous lot. Everybody was related.

  133. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:47 am [Reply]

  134. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    @Majicou (#120): Snarpologies for my #120. You are quite right, and quicker than I am.

  135. seismic-2
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#20): “Vulcan” was picked for one of the newly discovered moons, based on an overwhelming expression of support by Trekkers, but “Romulus” was rejected for another, since there is already an asteroid by that name. I never liked “Charon” for Pluto’s locked-together companion, since I always thought that should have been “Mickey”, but no – the International Astronomical Union has all those high-falutin’ intellectual airs to maintain. I think Brooke McEldowney is probably a member.

  136. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#134): My #132, that is.

  137. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#135): the International Astronomical Union has all those high-falutin’ intellectual airs to maintain…

    Right. I always thought that Eris should have been named Xena (and Gabrielle as a moon, if one was found).

  138. commodorejohn
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    MW – It’s the saucepan of Útgarða-Loki!

  139. José Jiménez
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#119): Be funny if the selkie and the hag got confused and put on each other’s skins. Tom-Harpman-as-Mary-Worth trying to pee standing up would be gracioso como infierno!

  140. Duke of Earl Grey
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    Jamaal: “Wow! Now I know how fast food got it’s name!”
    Me: Groan. “Please not a joke about digestion…”
    Jamaal: “Not because of the way it’s made…”
    Me: “Oh no, here it comes…”
    Jamaal: “…but because of the way it’s eaten.”
    Me: Whew! “Well, that could have been worse. OK, what’s next… Marvin?! Oh $#!^”

  141. Écureuil Écumant
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#125): “One ‘knows’ Mary Worth like one ‘knows’ a tornado: unwanted and without warning both come blowing into your life and leave a big mess after they’re gone.”

    Please, please never use the words “Mary Worth”, “blowing” and “big mess” in the same sentence again. Thank you.

  142. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#130): Are you saying that our beloved Albert Camus was somebody’s inspiration for Aldo Kelrast? Wierd…

  143. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#117): Nobody ever said that H20 had to be the working displacement liquid. I’m sure many rocks float in liquid lead.

  144. Peanut Gallery
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#133): “So… if she weighs the same as a castle… she’s made of pumice…”
    “And therefore?”
    “… A WITCH!”

  145. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @Alice (#yy236): What’s there to master? They just need to flip the big red switch on their vintage IBM PC-XT.

  146. Anonymous
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    You know, Josh, I followed a couple links and found that in Ruby’s initial appearance, she was blonde! Also, illiterate. How quickly we forget?

    Scratch that, nothing about this strip is quick.

  147. Anonymous
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#53): This strip would’ve made a lot more sense if what’s-her-face was talking about hiding the cow, instead of being congratulatory. For what it’s worth, she’s must be doing a bad job since the cow-napping is apparently a hot rumor.

  148. Anonymous
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    Love is… knowing that body heat is the recommended treatment for hypothermia in an emergency situation.

  149. sciencegiant
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @JohnH (#30): MW: Never thought I’d see an actual baby’s arm holding an apple. But it’s the only explaination.

  150. tb4000
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    Marvin: That blush is drawn eerily like five o’ clock shadow. That’s a grown ass man. Shitting himself and wearing a diaper.

  151. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#146): …in Ruby’s initial appearance, she was blonde! Also, illiterate.

    I don’t think she’s illiterate. I think she just has poor eyesight, and is too vain to wear glasses.

  152. Baka Gaijin
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#141): When you put it that way, ew.

    @tb4000 (#150): Marvin looking at a future self?

  153. Dawn Weston's Evil Twin
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    MW: I’m still peeved about missing out on a Charterstone pool party! We always get a pool party between “plots” or what passes for plots. Also, why is Mary bringing soup to the guy in 3B? The women of 3G are the ones who need it, since their apartment burned up.

  154. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#132): I’m just repeating the stated justification. My point is that it should be Persephone. Don’t argue with me, argue with Captain Kirk.

  155. Amos Snarkadder
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    Crank – “Mort’s Barber Shop”? Damn! I was so hoping for SweenyTodd.

  156. Notebooked
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    Man. It took a silhouette for me to realize, but Jamaal’s (or the other primary character in that popular comic strip) head is shaped like a zucchini.

  157. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    MW: How does anyone know if Tom Harpman is sick or if he’s just keeping to himself today? Does Mary have spy cameras in each… wait, of course she does.

  158. Latex-seeking-missile
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#24): I’m not “confused”! I’m “experimenting”.

  159. seismic-2
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#155): I’m hoping Mr. Mort’s name indicates that he moonlights as Masky McDeath.

  160. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#82): Attila the Hun!

    You ain’t seen nuttin yet:

    http://www.thecomicstrips.com/store/add_strip.php?iid=48829

    (“Attila the Hen” was a nickname for Margaret Thatcher!)

  161. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @Duke of Earl Grey (#140): I was kind of thinking the same thing. And I was thinking “Fast food is called ‘fast’ because it is made quickly. You f’ing moron.”

  162. Jasper
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#12):
    . . . . as Toby gets in shape for the Santa Royale raw potato eating contest. $10,000 first prize and a special extra prize

  163. Sequitur
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#161): The fastest fast food of all fast food is the fast food you don’t eat when you’re fasting.

  164. Government Cheese
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    MW: That’s just reheated Soylent Green. Mary is a naturally thrifty person, so she recycles the souls of her victims and turns them into tasty treats for other victims.

    Luann: Yes, this will be naturally awkward. Luann’s dad will begin the line of questioning with “HAVE YOU BEEN NUDE SKYPING? THIS IS NOT PART OF THE FAMILY PLAN POLICY!” What are they actually going to ask her?

  165. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#48): Funky- “Just so you know Cayla, if you ever have a stroke, I’m not wasting my time taking care of you. I’ll be too busy writing you’re snoozer of a life story and turning it into my second, logic defying best seller.”

    “Just so YOU know, Les, if you have a stroke, you don’t even get the book. I’ll organize a 5K run through the graveyard so that a thousand strangers can trample over your remains, or, if you haven’t kicked yet, it’ll go through your hospital room.”

  166. ope
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    It sounds like Mary has already done the dirty work when she “ran into him in the parking lot”. Now she’s just whiling away the time while Tom dies a slow death from his internal bleeding. No wonder she’s pouring the soup so slowly, the anticipation is too much for her.

  167. Hogenmogen
    February 26th, 2013 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    @Government Cheese (#164): Yeah, how will the DeGroots get into serious matters?

    “Luann, we’ve been noticing you’re online a lot.”

    “Yeah, I Skype with Quill.”

    “Oh. Ok, we’re good.”

  168. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    Mickey Mouse

    “Night at the Museum” before they replaced Goofy with Ben Stiller:

    http://www.creators.com/comics/mickey-mouse.html

  169. TheDiva
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#151): That explains her clothing, now what about the rest of the characters in this strip?

  170. Government Cheese
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#167): And then Mr. DeGroot will make some inappropriate comment like, “Well hopefully Quill isn’t ‘yanking’ too much while you are online. Get it, Luann? You don’t? Masturbation. (pause) What? What did I say?”

  171. I speak Jive
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @JohnH (#30): @sciencegiant (#149): There is another explanation. Toeby’s arm is six feet long and attached to her hip.

    @seismic-2 (#79): Re: Rex Morgan – Junior and Melissa are both going to a family wedding? Then why in tarnation didn’t she either discuss it with him herself while he is visitiing her area, or send Rex&June after he returns home so that they can talk to him? Or better yet, send a financial expert who knows something about rental properties instead of an alleged doctor? (You deserve an award for remembering all this from six months ago!)

  172. TheDiva
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#155): Who knows? Maybe we’ll get lucky and he’s a copycat. After all, his name is Mort, so….

  173. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    Howlin’ Rex Morgan.

  174. Sequitur
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    MW: It sure looks like Thing is feeding Toby that apple in the second panel.

    Mary’s next words to Toby, “No soup for you!”*

    *Albert Camus

  175. Optimus Prime Rib
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man: At this point we can no longer tell the difference between this strip and Smigel’s “Ambiguously Gay Duo” on SNL.

  176. terrapin
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    MT: I’ve lost track. Are we talking about Rod’s van or Van’s rod?

    MW: Mary is making taffy soup.

  177. Rita Lake and the Special Goddesses
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    I note that Herb is eagerly wolfing down a meal from 3cDonald’s.

  178. Liam
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    A3G-”Ruby, look at the size of this phone. Can you believe that people say they are able to make calls on something this size?”

    MT-”The only thing that I can’t abide more than a person being boastful about their wins is someone not sharing their secrets about how they win.”

    Beetle Bailey-At least the garbage won’t yell when you dump it off a cliff.

  179. Sequitur
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @Rita Lake and the Special Goddesses (#177): I notice Herb is holding an enchilada. He must have gone to 3cManuel’s

  180. Liam
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    MW-”Not yet but I will be soon,” Mary says gleefully thinking about a soon to be convert to her ever growing cult.

    MW 2-I’m hoping that Tom’s dream is to kill meddling old biddies and that Mary will help him fulfill that dream.

  181. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

  182. bbofun
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#99): “Disney is a competing media company.” (looks for comic -book nerd glasses, can’t find them, yells “RATIOCINATOR!”, calms down)Actually, Disney owns Marvel. However, the movie rights to Marvel’s characters are owned by a variety of movie companies, which is why the X-Men, Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four, and The Avengers don’t appear in each other’s movies (if you don’t count the Torch and Capt. America being the same guy).

    A3G- Ruby realized that Lu Ann was blocked from accepting her fully as her mother due to her conditioning from her former maternal figure. Thus, she changed her hair to more closely resemble Margo.

    Also, in A3G- in most episodic dramas, whether comics or TV, a fire is an excuse to do a dramatic makeover on the settings- in TV a major set will be rebuilt (I think all 3 CSIs have used this), resulting in a “new look” for the series. However, given the artist’s limitations, I assume that when they return to the old apartment building, all the characters will be expressing amazement about how bright and new and wonderful the building looks- but we will see no difference.

    I am wondering about how they’re going to deal with the whole “Evan put a bomb in Margo’s apartment” plot. First of all, it seemed totally out of character- even when he was placing it, he never acted like it was a bomb. For that matter, he didn’t even know that Margo wouldn’t be home when he brought it there- he just heard Margo and James bond in the next apartment, then snuck (shut up, spellcheck) in. What if Margo had been home? Wouldn’t she have unwrapped the package? Plus, he apparently confessed to the crime, from what we heard last week, before the time-jump (which still places this strip a month in the past, BTW)- why? And what has happened with Margo and the new James Bond’s relationship? Doesn’t he have to go to England to start filming soon?

    And why do I care?

    FW- The “joke”, such as it is, would work better if it was Ann who had the stroke, since they’re both coaches. Not to say it would actually be funny, understand- it would just be better constructed. As it is, she’s kind of suggesting that they no of no other person who has had a stroke prior to this- which I find hard to believe, given that this is Funkytown.

    Pibgorn- I’m just going to focus on the writing/drawing aspect of what’s wrong here, rather than anything about Brooke’s perceived or actual fetishes, okay?
    A) Satori now has magical powers, apparently gained when she kissed/fucked the Djinn (not from being made into a “TV Jeannie”, which is how I would figure she gained them0 but I’ll take Brooke’s word for it). She changed her clothes back into her usual outfit, defeated one of the troll’s attacks easily, and reached through the screen. Why doesn’t she just pop on out and slap the little ass-face until he cries?
    B) Pib called the troll ‘master” as part of a plan to play into his fantasy. Yet she has done nothing except abuse him since. Bad plan.
    C) From today’s artwork (uh- sorry, threw up a little calling it that), we can assume Brooke’s never really looked at how his computer is set up. She’s whacking him with the monitor, which is attached by chords to the mouse and keyboard. WHERE’S THE ACTUAL COMPUTER? There aren’t even any unattached wires.
    What I’m saying is, McEldowney’s a hack.

    JP- Okay- is this an established character? i don’t recall seeing her before. I do like how Abby doesn’t seem terribly sure, herself. on the other hand, it’s entirely possible that people just show up at her house regularly, looking to serve. Pretty much fits right in with the Judge Parker continuity.

    GT- I am sorry we don’t get to see Gil explain how Scott doesn’t have to rely on supernatural forces to be a great player- how he was great even though the peacock was just a peacock, if only to hear Scott ask “then why do we have a prayer circle before each game?”.

    On the other hand, it appears Gil is going to be a dick to the rest of the team, probably bringing a peacock into the gym, and letting it peck their eyes out. Oh, what fun!

  183. sully
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    Judging by Mary Worth’s never-ending soup pot, I would suggest she has moved on from meddling, insufferable old biddy to a new level of Christ-like deification. “Loaves and Fishes, anyone? Plenty for everybody!”

  184. bbofun
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    One last one-
    ASM- We’ve all had a lot of fun this past week about this being “the slowest missile in the world,” but i was willing to suspend disbelief, since I assumed there was a lot more movement going on from the characters than could be shown in the strip. But, today? THE MISSILE IS HOVERING! There’s no other explanation!

  185. Sequitur
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#184):

    THE MISSILE IS HOVERING!

    It’s thinking! It’s thinking!

  186. Liam
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    MW-”Can you stop having that baby feeding you an apple? It seems rather unseemly.”

  187. seismic-2
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#182): Maybe the fire in A-3G will henceforth be used as an explanation for why we never see a piano there, even after Paul Linski was introduced to the strip by delivering one.

    And I agree – the whole “Evan confessed” development makes no sense. Why would he even be a suspect? Was he such a clutz that he left evidence in the bomb itself? Aunt Cathy was right – he is a disappointment. But perhaps the reason that Greg hasn’t gone to England to film the new Bond flick is that his hands are terribly scarred, and his career as an actor is over. Maybe in his new job as a firefighter, at least, he can hire a better publicist.

  188. Fashion Police
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#182):
    Regarding Judge Parker: that is Marie the Maid. Perhaps you don’t recognize her because she is out of uniform. Things are getting horribly lax in the Duchy of Spencer.

    On the other hand, over at Rex Morgan, M.D. we are gratified to see that Aunt Melissa cares enough to dress for lunch, alone at home. We have no doubt that her servants are in proper livery. We are a little perplexed, however, about why she chooses to display her neck and arms so proudly.

  189. Shrug's Credo
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#87):

    Disbelief is better than datbelief.

    ///Don’t even get me started on dembeliefs.

  190. Shrug, California Nightmarein'
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#99):

    “SM: We confused the missile by presenting two equally appealing targets at equal distances! ”

    In case of a tie, the missile is programmed to go after the first target who forgets and calls the city “Frisco.”

  191. Shrug, Bad but Badenov?
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#104):

    As the FW characters line up for their turn at stroke, stroke, stroke, a voice in my head tells me it’s time to bail, bail, bail on this strip.

    ///The voice sounds like that antlered phiolsopher, Albert Camoose.

  192. Mikey
    February 26th, 2013 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @Tom (#108): Another good band name: “Mary’s Soup Pot”

  193. Shrug, Sunny Side Up
    February 26th, 2013 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#107):

    Not to mention that “Vulcan” already had its chance to be the name of a planet, but the planet blew its chance by absent-mindedly forgetting to actually exist:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulcan_%28hypothetical_planet%29

  194. Amos Snarkadder
    February 26th, 2013 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    MT: We all know where this is headed – Rusty will sneak into the van and find the heavily sedated fish that Rod “catches” to win the contest. But really, who gives a damn about seeing Rod’s numb bass?

  195. Shrug, Splitting the Difference
    February 26th, 2013 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#124):

    “I actually think McEldowney’s problem is that he’s half-digested Foucault”

    Yes, he’s got the “fouc” part down pretty well, except for the spelling.

  196. Mikey
    February 26th, 2013 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @Optimus Prime Rib (#175): It fits perfect. I mean come on, instead of going home to MJ and her feminine wilds he heads to San Fran? Can’t wait for them to pat each other on the ass for a job well done.

  197. Shrug, All Wet
    February 26th, 2013 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#117):

    “Rocks don’t float.”

    I can’t accept your conclusion, since I must deny your pumice.

  198. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 26th, 2013 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    With apologies to Muffaroo, from his “Toon River” series.

  199. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 26th, 2013 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

  200. Allen
    February 26th, 2013 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    MW: ” I imagine it moves in slow motion…” like a Spider-man missile.

  201. Dave Dahl
    February 26th, 2013 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    Wonder if Zits should have run any of their dialogue through http://www.urbandictionary.com.

  202. CanuckDownSouth
    February 26th, 2013 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#137): BTW, Eris does have a moon. I’d say that “Eris” was the perfect name after the whole planetary flap…

  203. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#174): Mary Worth is making up a new batch of lye soap, so the line should read: “No soap for you!”*

    *Albert Camay®

  204. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 26th, 2013 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#202): Oh, cool. I remember now. And “Dysnomia”, daughter of Eris, is from the Greek word for “lawlessness”, so the Warrior Princess isn’t entirely forgotten.

  205. Not Just Any Dipstick
    February 26th, 2013 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

  206. Majicou
    February 26th, 2013 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#202): Dysnomia, of course, means “lawlessness.” And who played Xena? Why, Lucy Lawless.

  207. Majicou
    February 26th, 2013 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#204): And snarpologies back to you.

  208. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#202): Hank Ketcham’s OTHER son Eris was an extremely well-behaved child. Which is why his father never named a comic strip after him.

  209. DOlz
    February 26th, 2013 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    I think the MW artist has been to a Salvador Dali retrospective recently. No only is there an endless waterfall of soup, but in the second panel the pot (which is emptying) is getting larger while the bowl (which is filling) is getting smaller.

  210. Tophat
    February 26th, 2013 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    Am I the only one who sees the look of utter terror on baby Carl’s face in today’s Marvin? That is the look of a child who has no idea what is happening to him. I never thought I’d say this about baby shit jokes… and Marvin in general, but its kind of refreshing to see a character who isn’t so friggin’ pleased when he’s taking a dump. You can see him here taking a small step down the path towards self awareness. Carl’s journey to understand himself begins here.
    On the other hand, I could have gone without the punchline being “oh hey this baby is shitting himself RIGHT NOW LOL.”

  211. Marc
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#165): A match made in heaven those two are. And by heaven, I mean the hell on earth that is Westview.

  212. Kip
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man: It’s equally attracted to both of them? Has ASM gone the path of a soap opera strip? Quite frankly, I don’t get what the missile could see in either of them.

  213. Uncle Lumpy
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    @DOlz (#209):

    … the pot (which is emptying) is getting larger while the bowl (which is filling) is getting smaller.

    Because as she pours, there’s more room in the pot and less room in the bowl. That’s what we mean by “larger” and “smaller.” Mary Worth denies your petty object constancy!

  214. Old School Allie Cat
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    MW I’ve been sick as a dog for two weeks with the respiratory infection that keeps on giving, so I’m not one to look a gift soup in the mouth, but…

    Either Mary just heated up a nice can of Campbell’s Chicken Noodle-Os, or that’s one tiny artisanal batch of homemade chicken-y goodness.

    I will give the color monkeys credit for getting the shade of soup just right.

  215. Liam
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    MT-”What is it with you guys trying to get into my forbidden van of secrets,” Rod asks.

  216. Erich Clapton
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#48):
    Funky- “Just so you know Cayla, if you ever have a stroke, I’m not wasting my time taking care of you. I’ll be too busy writing you’re snoozer of a life story and turning it into my second, logic defying best seller.”

    You’d think an English teacher would know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. One would certainly hope.

  217. Liam
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    MW-And what about the ladies who live in 3G, Mary? Have you ever done anything for them?

  218. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    After fifty years, Mary Worth still expects poor Toby to peel potatoes for her mistress armed with nothing more than her pearly whites. It’s about time the old cheapskate broke down and bought her scullery maid a Victorinox Ambidextrous Handle Potato Peeler:

    http://www.webstaurantstore.com/victorinox-ambidextrous-handle-potato-peeler/35340694.html

  219. Uncle Lumpy
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    New in Mary’s kitchen

    Toby’s now on Mary’s right and the counter has become a table, to which the bowl of apples conveniently migrated! The pesky chair(s?) that occupied the middle of the room are gone. On Mary’s side, there’s now a convenient counter to the right of the stove, the calendar is gone, and oops, Toby’s back on her left. Also, there are cabinets on the wall next to the refrigerator. That’s four walls, and no doorway, confirming what we’ve all suspected: there is No Exit from Mary’s kitchen.

    Coincidentally, No Exit is the title of a play by famous French philosopher Albert Camus, who ironically died trying to peer into the back of Simone de Beauvoir van.

    I’m sure I got most of that right.

  220. Hibbleton
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#218):
    Thanks! It’s my anniversary next week and I’ve been looking for a gift.

  221. Poteet
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    GA — Apparently we will soon meet a man of the cloth who is willing to marry a human (alleged) to a mule if the price is right. The Gasoliniverse just keeps getting better and better.

  222. Liam
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    MW-Mary is making Cream of Sum Yung Guy.

  223. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#220): You’re welcome. Are you buying it for yourself? Or buying it for the Toby in your life?

    Everyone should have a Toby in their life. ((sigh))

  224. Lumaca Morente
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#215): Your added year of age has not dulled your wit, Liam.

  225. Poteet
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    A3G — Wrong head colors. They’re not just for giant ducks anymore.

  226. Lumaca Morente
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @DOlz (#209): Yeah, sure, everybody loved it when Sir John Tenniel did it in his Lewis Carroll illustrations, but you try one little thing in A3G…

  227. KreatureFeatures
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#28): I agree regarding Archie. What a shock to see a classically-constructed, well-executed visual gag.

  228. pugfuggly
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    @Latex-seeking-missile (#158):

    Latex? Is that what those suits are made of? Ewwwwww…….

    @Jasper (#162):

    I get the feeling that they solved Santa Royale’s homeless problem by having competitions that require an audience on virtually every day of the year.

  229. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    MW: The “soup” that Mary is “pouring” into the bowl is grimly fascinating. Liquid doesn’t act like that, except when you’re spraying it from a pressurized hose.

    FW: “So on top of everything else I’m out $80 on the stroke pool. Damn!”

    A3G: First some white lady married to Martin Magee claims to be Gabriella. Now Tommie’s stonefaced head nurse has replaced Ruby. At least they’re coaching her to talk Southern.

    Marvin: Thirty odd years of Marvin perfectly encrapsulated.

    MT: Yes, I believe that the interior of one’s van is a point of pride for most sportsmen, one that they long to share with the world! And I believe people really talk like this! I do believe, I do!

    Pibgorn: Aside from a brief kick at the strawman, this is basically an ad for Photoshop.

    JP: So does Marie have a little crush on Abbey or what? Abbey might want to let this one play out. Marie’s got… well, she’s a Wilsonverse female so it’s obvious what she’s got. And she’s almost certainly a cheaper date than Sam.

    H&L: Along with the flowers there’s a note reading. “9 sharp. Hi’s at work and the bedroom is unlocked.”

    DT: The portrait photographer couldn’t get a picture of him without the geyser of sweat flying off his head. I don’t care how much he worked out, that man was not healthy.

    Blondie: Yeah, a seven year old using the word “uptight” would make me wake up in shock too.

    Luann: On second look, Nancy is holding onto Frank’s shirt, not grabbing his butt. Although I’m sure she’d have the same look of heavy lidded despair either way.

    S-M: Peter could be a rich man if he ever got around to patenting that webbing condom.

    M-Dawg: Not by a long shot is Mr. Snowman the first to wind up limbless and prostate because he laughed at Marmaduke. He’s just one of the cleaner kills.

  230. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#221):

    I didn’t know The Price Is Right’s Bob Barker was an ordained minister.

    And according to the 2/26 Mutts, today is “World Spay Day.” (You go, Bob!)

  231. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#45): That’s the entirety of the problem with McE’s oeuvre, isn’t it? He assumes that there’s a clear bright line between his elevated soul and the rest of us muckers, while every strip he draws confirms that there is no such thing. 9CL puts him on our level; Pibgorn sinks him to some rather disturbing depths below it.

  232. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Splitting the Difference (#195): He wants to fouc you like an animal,
    His whole existence is flawed.

  233. Freakin Hemingwad
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#229): “limbless and prostate’” – not sure if serious…

  234. Lumaca Morente
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#233): Those are my lawyers. Limbless and Prostate.

  235. Lumaca Morente
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    Personal injury lawyers, naturally. Why do you ask?

  236. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#9):

    ASM: The missile is equally attracted to Spider-Man and Daredevil.

    This is its first time speed dating.

  237. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#233): Good catch. Well, either way is fodder for the imagination.

  238. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#228): “Ex-Lax” is how I originally read that. Double ewwwwww…

  239. Hibbleton
    February 26th, 2013 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#223):
    For my wife who is a blond like Toby. She doesn’t, however, sit atop a stool suggestively eating apples in short-shorts often enough to my liking.

  240. Calico
    February 26th, 2013 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    That fluid Mary is pouring into infinity is actually brimstone soup. Be forewarned!

    The apple-bearing hand from nowhere is a nice plus. It’s kinda like Chrissie’s first “whack dream.”

  241. Calico
    February 26th, 2013 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#230):
    “Don’t forget to spay or neuter your pet.” Amen.
    I didn’t know that about Mr. Barker either!
    Jeff Van Vonderen of Intervention is a former minister.
    Dave Hope, the original coke-snorting bassist from the band Kansas, is now an Anglican Minister.

  242. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#237):

    Well, either way is fodder for the imagination.

    According to Bud Abbott, his fodder was also a mudder. (No, Lou Costello couldn’t imagine it either!)

  243. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 26th, 2013 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    Yes.

    // The resemblance is uncanny. Maybe it’s the glasses.

  244. Calico
    February 26th, 2013 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    …”And when I’m done with your ears, I’d better get in a van and gogh.”

  245. TruthOfAngels
    February 26th, 2013 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    “There will be no curiosity, no enjoyment of the process of life. All competing pleasures will be destroyed. But always – do not forget this, Winston – always there will be the intoxication of pooping, constantly increasing and constantly growing subtler. Always, at every moment, there will be the thrill of pooping, the sensation of pooping on an enemy who is helpless. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a baby pooping in a diaper – forever.”

    Marvin is 31 this year.

  246. commodorejohn
    February 26th, 2013 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#239): I’d like to know why Toby is sitting around in short-shorts eating apples suggestively with Mary, though.

    No, wait, scratch that. I very much would not like to know.

  247. Jim in Wisc.
    February 26th, 2013 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    Mary I-am-not-Worthy: Tom’s a guy who likes his privacy and wants to be left alone. That just CANNOT be allowed. Not in the Charterstone condo complex! And not as long as Mary Worth is alive to meddle in people’s lives! What do you think this is, a free society?

    Funky Cancerstroke: So, Caucasiala was the only person in town who didn’t know “Guy We’d Never Really Heard of Before” had a stroke?

    Mark Trailmix-for-Brains: What the hell!?!?!? This has got to be the most half-assed “evidence” ever concocted.

  248. Shrug, or Possibly A Rat, Ho!
    February 26th, 2013 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @CanuckDownSouth (#202):

    And if further moons are found on either side of Eris, they could be named Hamlet and Polonious.

  249. PriceCheck
    February 26th, 2013 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    Is…Herb eating a black chicken leg with breadcrumbs on it?

    “Babies’ faces get red when they go? COMIC GENIUS. Oh darn, I used up all my red. Hmm…A few lines will suffice, right? People’ll know it’s not a beard? Do babies even get beards?”

  250. Alison
    February 26th, 2013 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    “Luann”: Sooo…I still don’t understand. Luann’s parents are worried that she is spending too much time on the Internet? Every teenager is constantly on the Internet these days. Hell, even adults are (although not Luann’s parents, apparently). My grandma, who is 88 years old, is on the internet every day looking at LOL Cats.

    Although, Luann’s dad is hinting at her acting “inappropriate”. So, does that mean they think she’s flashing Quill? Talking dirty? Because, come on now. This strip is home to the world’s tamest teenagers. I bet the farthest anyone would go would be that Quill would say, “Show me your bra!” and Luann would take a bra out of her dresser drawer and wave it in front of the computer, and they’d both laugh and laugh. And even that might be too scandalous for this strip.

    “Mary Worth”: Once I read in Ann Landers’ column about this woman who baked brownies for her new neighbours, and the neighbours returned the brownies with a note that said they didn’t want them. Ann Landers said this was very rude. I agree it is rude but I absolutely want Tom to do the same thing to Mary, with a P.S. on the note: “Aren’t you that old meddler everyone talks about? If so, please leave me alone, thank you.”

  251. Sequitur
    February 26th, 2013 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    Out of Mary’s soup pot comes Ripley’s!

    E.N. BURNTON from Raleigh, North Carolina, plays 4 guitars at the same time — ONE WITH EACH LIMB!

    You ought to see how he plays a fifth guitar after he spots a hot babe out in the audience!

  252. Sequitur
    February 26th, 2013 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#244): Someone was watching How I Met Your Mother last night.

    Two (count ‘em) two van Gogh jokes.

  253. I speak Jive
    February 26th, 2013 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    @Jim in Wisc. (#247): Re: Mark Trail – Surely you remember the wrapper from the gum that people chew to quit smoking? The one that Mark found on the ground and carried around in his pocket, then submitted as evidence to convict the culprit?

    What in the world is that vehicle in the first panel? Admittedly I do not know cars, but I haven’t seen anything like that since the 1960′s.

    Mary Worth – I hate to be picky, but my experience has been that making soup – if you do it right – is a very time-intensive undertaking and involves a stockpot or at least a Dutch oven. Why would she go to all that trouble to make a saucepan’s worth of soup? If I make soup, I want enough for at least three or four days.

  254. Sequitur
    February 26th, 2013 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    @PriceCheck (#249): In color (or for Baka Gaijin, colour) that baby doesn’t looked so much embarrased but that weasels ripped his flesh!

  255. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    February 26th, 2013 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#253): Based on what we’ve seen of Mary’s cooking, I rather suspect “making soup” consists of opening a can, adding water, and reheating.

  256. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#246): I believe that’s actually a potato Toby Cameron is eating (or peeling). And yams, a type of sweet potato, are supposed to increase fertility in women.

    Make of that what you will.

    I yam what I yam and that’s what I yam. — Albert “Popeye” Camus

  257. I speak Jive
    February 26th, 2013 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#255): That’s if she opens a can of condensed soup. If she goes for Progresso or Campbell’s Chunky, she doesn’t even have to add water.

  258. commodorejohn
    February 26th, 2013 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#256): Ye gods. Is this some kind of dark “Children of the Condo” plot taking shape?

  259. Shran
    February 26th, 2013 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    MW: It’s all an elaborate ploy! Mary forces her way into Tom Harpman’s life, thereby quickly sending him to the looney bin and opening up Apartment 3B for the current residents of 3G. Ladies and gentlemen, this won’t end well.

  260. fluffy
    February 26th, 2013 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    I’m glad that Marvin has an M on his shirt, so that we can all tell who he is. I wonder if the daycare center forced his parents to do that so that they couldn’t pretend not to recognize their son anymore.

  261. Jim in Wisc.
    February 26th, 2013 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    @I speak Jive (#253): Ah yes, of course, the gum wrapper! How did I forget that. But this might be even more ludicrous. “He won’t let some snot-nosed little kid take pictures of the inside of his private vehicle? And said vehicle has tinted windows? MY GOD! This man is the reincarnation of Adolph Hilter!! Someone call The Hague and alert the World Court, this monster must be stopped!”

    And it looks like Mark is driving a 1970s era station wagon. Which probably means that’s when that particular panel was originally drawn.

  262. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 26th, 2013 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    MW: I wondered where Giella got his inspiration for the “pouring soup” scenes today. Remember the barf scene in Team America? That’s where.

  263. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 26th, 2013 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    @Shran (#259): Except for Mary. It always ends well for Mary.

  264. Sequitur
    February 26th, 2013 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    It looks like all the Phantom needs is a flashlight.

  265. demoncat
    February 26th, 2013 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    mw of course mary is a friend with the new guy toby for after all no one says no to being friends with mary. marvin. marvin should know about pooping in his pants for that is one of his pleasures and tools in his evil .

  266. tallyHO
    February 26th, 2013 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#230):
    Yes, he is ordained. However, I heard he only performs wedding ceremonies involving Great Danes.

    He’s a high priest of Marmaduke.

  267. Sequitur
    February 26th, 2013 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

  268. bergamot
    February 26th, 2013 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#105): MISSLE CRISIS

  269. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 26th, 2013 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#264): Savarna keeps offering, but the Phantom says he already has one.

    oh.

    fl-A-shlight.

    nm.

  270. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 26th, 2013 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#267): offering last rites to a Pekinese.

    I agree wholeheartedly.

  271. tallyHO
    February 26th, 2013 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#267):
    I have yet to look at it but I expect that when I do I will be greeted with the music from “The Omen”.

  272. Dale
    February 26th, 2013 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#178):

    MARK TRAIL

    Panfish does seem to be a whiny-baby.
    You’re a pro. Do some research. OR wait for Mark to pass along the secrets he learns while being a neutral observer staying at your house.

  273. Shran
    February 26th, 2013 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#263): Well, that’s a given. It’s all part of the plan – once Mary Worth and Apartment 3-G merge into one, she’ll be more powerful than ever! I hope you all realize that now is the time to repent your sins and turn to Jesus, because the end is nigh.

  274. Calico
    February 26th, 2013 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#252):
    Funny, I rarely watch TV these days, and don’t watch this show at all.

  275. Calico
    February 26th, 2013 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    @Shran (#259):
    However, it could actually be interesting.

  276. exapno
    February 26th, 2013 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

  277. pugfuggly
    February 26th, 2013 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#236):

    This is its first time speed dating.

    Someone must have neglected to mention the ‘speed’ part.

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#238):

    You must always take care never to take ex-lax in a latex suit….

    @bergamot (#268):

    PETER NEED BRACES!

  278. Uncle Lumpy
    February 26th, 2013 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#262):

    Remember the barf scene in Team America?

    Very well! I saw TAWP with my daughter, and halfway through that scene I gasped out something like, “They can’t possibly ….” My daughter said, “You don’t see enough movies, Dad.” Whereupon the guy on-screen hurled for what seemed like another five minutes, and the camera pulled back on what looked like a lake.

    What I’m saying is, that was a great movie!

  279. ralph
    February 26th, 2013 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    9CL: For those who may be puzzled, the gist of today’s strip seems to be that Bossy has been deposited on the lead character’s property without said character’s knowledge or permission. And said lead character has now made the transition from having knowledge of a crime, to being an accomplice. Perhaps, following the lead of GA, one of them could marry the cow, striking a blow for gay inter-species freedom to love, and perhaps muddying the legal waters enough to stay out of the slammer. Ah, the spectacle of it all! Book tours, movie rights, your own line in the 2016 Democratic platform.

  280. Dale
    February 26th, 2013 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    So the term FAST FOOD is unrelated to how quickly it can do the 10 meter dash?

  281. Mr K Martin
    February 26th, 2013 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    H&J: I can’t help comparing panels two and three and noticing that it takes only the tiniest, barely noticeable turn of Jamaal’s head to change that button nose into a shlong that would put a prize stud to shame. There must be some law of physics that explains this.

  282. Mr K Martin
    February 26th, 2013 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    MARY WRATH: Mary’s soup pot is the culinary equivalent of a clown car. Gallons of soup will be pouring out of it for the next 30 minutes.

  283. Ratiocinator
    February 26th, 2013 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    @The Right Venerable Pasdordan (#122): The internet sure is informative about all kinds of topics at times and places when you least expect, isn’t it? ~_^

    In my defense, the subject has kinda sorta come up a number of times (although this may be the first time it’s been brought up in serious discussion): see Rex Morgan here and Apartment 3-G here for just two examples. (I wonder if it says anything about me that I remembered those after so long and, if so, what.)

    @Baka Gaijin (#125):

    Oh Toby, Toby, Toby. Sweet stupid Toby. One “knows” Mary Worth like one “knows” a tornado: unwanted and without warning both come blowing into your life and leave a big mess after they’re gone.

    I think we have a COTW contender! Speaking of which: as a relative newcomer here, why are the runners-up called “floaters”?

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#151):

    I don’t think she’s illiterate.

    You’re right, Ruby will have you know that she is no longer illiterate. She is, however, still a “tax-cheating, wife-swapping, pot-smoking Spend-o-crat”.

    @bbofun (#182):

    (looks for comic -book nerd glasses, can’t find them, yells “RATIOCINATOR!”, calms down)

    These glasses are mine. I bought them just a few minutes ago with my own money, and there’s no way you can prove otherwise. Unless, perhaps, you enlisted the services of an anthropomorphic fox detective, but where would you find one of those? MWAHAHAHAHA!

    (Villainous laugh should not be taken as admission of anything.)

    @pugfuggly (#228):

    Latex? Is that what those suits are made of? Ewwwwww…….

    I’m going to use these comic book nerd glasses now which, I cannot stress enough, I am the legal owner of. *dons them* In a lot of the stories I’ve read, there’s been dialogue saying that the costumes are made of spandex. Mind you, I don’t know if that’s any better

  284. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    @fluffy (#260): I’m glad that Marvin has an M on his shirt, so that we can all tell who he is. I wonder if the daycare center forced his parents to do that so that they couldn’t pretend not to recognize their son anymore.

    Actually, the “M” stands for “Maypo.” As in I want my Maypo:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Want_My_Maypo

    Marvin, of course, is too young for Maypo. But Marvin’s dad used to practically live off the stuff.

  285. tallyHO
    February 26th, 2013 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#267):

    Well, I guess that was no harm and no fowl.

    If he was blessing chickens, I couldn’t say that.

  286. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 26th, 2013 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#283): re: floaters: Those who are chosen for Comment-of-the-Week honors are said to be “riding the float.”

    But that phrase started before my time, so a real old-timer will have to provide the origins.

  287. Laura
    February 26th, 2013 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

    I think the soup is actually uncooked spaghetti. It behaves quite a lot like that.

  288. Ratiocinator
    February 26th, 2013 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#286): Ah okay, thank you!

  289. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#266): It was probably “preordaned” that someone would bring Marmaduke and Great Danes into the mix.

  290. Der Schnärkïnätör mit Ümläütën!
    February 26th, 2013 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    MW – That never ending stream of “soup” reminds me of the scene in Monty Python’s “The Meaning of Life” when Mr. Creosote has his projectile puking fits.

  291. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 26th, 2013 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    @Laura (#287):

    It behaves quite a lot like that.

    I assume that you’re suggesting that The Soup has become sentient and ambulatory, and thus capable of behavior. We can only hope that The Soup behaves well, perhaps warming some chilled hobo, instead of behaving badly—turning rancid and scalding its victims with a coating of rank poultry scum.

  292. UncleJeff
    February 26th, 2013 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    FW: Mrs. Coach Bushka is just mad because she lost the stroke pool at the office. She forgot the cardinal rule of gambling: always bet with your head, not your heart.

  293. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#270): @Sequitur (#267): offering last rites to a Pekinese.

    I think he’s also peeking at her knees. (Dude’s not made of stone, you know!)

    @tallyHO (#285): @Sequitur (#267): Well, I guess that was no harm and no fowl. If he was blessing chickens, I couldn’t say that.

    Does that mean you WON’T be at Snuffy Smith’s Poultry Slam?

  294. Liam
    February 26th, 2013 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    Marvin-Is that a poop joke? I can’t believe that. I can’t believe that the writer has to resort to a poop joke. Marvin always has such sophisticated jokes that I can’t believe that they do a poop joke.

  295. Liam
    February 26th, 2013 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    FW-I always figured someone would kill him first.

    Gil Thorp-Let me find some peacocks to kill first so I can dump them in front of the team and proclaim to them that there is their gods.

  296. tallyHO
    February 26th, 2013 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#289):
    Marmaduke Destiny, it is.

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#293):

    Does that mean you WON’T be at Snuffy Smith’s Poultry Slam?

    It took me a second then I laughed.


    Hillbilly Beatniks
    Hootin
    in the
    Holler

    Up
    At the crack of dawn
    They yawn ‘fore they
    go down to the coop

    Up
    Over the fence top
    They step down
    snatchin’ chicken wif a scoop

    Up
    Roostin’ a chicken
    Atop of their
    haids

    Up
    Under each arm
    Roasters embed

    Hillbilly Beatniks
    Run home
    the Supper Bell
    is a callin’

    When runnin’
    from shotgun fire
    be careful,
    Keep yo’ feet
    steady
    no fallin’

  297. housemonkey
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    Under Mary’s gaze the soup has actually frozen solid.

  298. Revenge4Aldo
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    MW Tom Harpman is going to turn out to be a widower who has become an amateur motorcycle builder to deal with the pain. Mary and Tom will enter a building competition together, which, oddly enough, focuses mainly on moving the completed motorcycle. After Tom hand engraves an image of Mary into the fender, the pair win. Tom is heartbroken when Mary won’t join him on the trip to Orange County, NY for a motorcycle apprenticeship. Or Tom is an alcoholic or something.

  299. Sequitur
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#296): *sniff* That brings a tear to my eye and a chicken flea to my rump.

    Chicken flea, chicken flea
    Where do you be?
    I be to London to visit the queen.
    Chicken flea, chick flea
    What did you there?
    I infested her body, even her hair.

    Oh, chicken flea, chicken flea
    What did she do?
    She took out a shotgun
    And threatened me too.
    Chicken flea, chicken flea
    Did she shoot you dead?

    No. Do you think she’s crazy enough to shoot something that’s on her?
    I mean, really. How dumb do you think a queen be?

    Queen bee.
    Head of the hive.
    She’ll sting you by proxy
    So she’ll stay alive.

    I got to get out more often.

  300. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    “A friend? Oh, Toby, sometimes you disappoint me. ANYONE would make a pot of soup for a friend! I mean, YOU have done THAT. But it takes a special sort of soul to make soup for a complete stranger, not to mention one who has made it clear that he wishes to be left alone! No, Toby, for that you must transcend your mundane world of pathetic moral cripples and reach the level of the very best that humanity has to offer!” Mary struck a heroic pose. “That is why I’m here. To serve as example and moral inspiration to you squalid common people!”

  301. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace — “How about some of my homemade vinaigrette, young man? Goodness knows it’s yellow enough!”

    http://eatwelleatcheap.blogspot.com/2009/04/make-it-yourself-vinaigrette-dressing.html

    It looks a little like the glop Mary Worth was making in her kitchen today.

  302. Baka Gaijin
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    @Shran (#273): Oh I would love to see the daily clashes between The Margo and The Mary over who gets to mentally control Toby, Tommie, and LuAnn.

    @Mr K Martin (#282): AAAAHHHH!!! EVILSCARYCLOWNSOUP!!!! [QLUNQ]

    @Ratiocinator (#283) on me: Thank you. I blush. As an older-timer, bourbon babe, unbuckled (#286) is correct on the term “floater.” Traditionally the COTW winner throws candy or some other goody. Occasionally there’s an auxiliary float or two that other commenters nominate great comments that don’t make it onto the main float. Sometimes the auxiliary float is pulled by goats.

  303. seismic-2
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    MW: “A friend? Who knows? Given the chance, Tom Harpman might have become more than a friend – we could have been water brothers, even. But we’ll never know – it turned out that his ‘cold’ was meningitis, and he died. That’s why I’m serving him now. Tom would have wanted that, I’m sure.”

  304. tallyHO
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth

    After really looking at what she is pouring, panel one seems to be an entire package of partially cooked spaghetti and the second panel seems to be a quart of sherbet.

    It is still amazing she believes she contributed any thing to that prize winning cake. She helped carry it?

    Bravo! Brrrravo!

  305. Peanut Gallery
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#302):

    Sometimes the auxiliary float is pulled by goats.

    So, the people on the auxiliary float are called “goaters”? There is more to this than I thought…

  306. unclemike
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    3G: Did “Ruby” suddenly gain 40 pounds between panel 1 and panel 2?

  307. tallyHO
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#299):

    As the rooster crows,
    go, Daddio,
    go!

    (snap, snap, snap)

    He flit that gnat
    Then wif his boot
    he made a splat

    That didn’t stop
    the cat
    From strikin’ at
    The laces
    on his
    boots

    (the kind wore by coots)

    He jumped up
    a mile high
    That cat done
    tried
    to scratch his eye

    Owwwwoooo!

    (snap, snap, snap)_

  308. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 26th, 2013 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#305): only in Fables, my friend, only in Fables.

    ;-)

  309. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    ASM: Sorry if this has been posted before, but it’s really pretty great.

  310. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#283): Yes, yes it does. I once heard of a philosophical discussion breaking out in a BDSM thread at Reddit, so there’s that.

  311. Sequitur
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#307): Diggin’ the scene, man. The eagle flies tonight so let’s all get Dixie fried.

  312. pugfuggly
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#283):

    In a lot of the stories I’ve read, there’s been dialogue saying that the costumes are made of spandex. Mind you, I don’t know if that’s any better…

    I think a good ‘no ex-lax’ rule applies to spandex too. Nothing like trying to get out of a skin-tight suit in a hurry while you’re fighting Doctor Octopus.

  313. The Right Venerable Pasdordan
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#311): Raaaave on, children! he cried…

  314. Droopy Says
    February 26th, 2013 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#309): So I should call him Spiderdickless?

  315. flug
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

    MW: That soup shooting from pan to pan at firehose velocity reminds me of nothing but projectile vomiting.

    A metaphor for the way Mary’s caring compassion shoots from her mind onto its hapless victims?

  316. Rocky Stoneaxe
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#312): I think a good ‘no ex-lax’ rule applies to spandex too. Nothing like trying to get out of a skin-tight suit in a hurry while you’re fighting Doctor Octopus.

    Actually, it isn’t a problem if we’re talking about a Spider-Man vs. Doctor Octopus slugfest. Because an anal retentive like “Poopy” Parker would simply use one of Doc Ock’s tentacles as an emergency BUTT PLUG ((shudder)).

  317. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    @Freakin Hemingwad (#233): To elaborate on my earlier response: The word I was actually looking for was “supine”, but I couldn’t find it. The word I found was “prostrate”, which doesn’t mean the same thing but is at least in the ballpark. My fingers found “prostate” which… yeah.

  318. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 26th, 2013 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    @flug (#315): Projectile vomiting as in “The Exorcist”? Try to wrap your head around Mary saying “Your mother sucks cocks in Hell!”

  319. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    February 27th, 2013 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    “Bluegill, who ever heard of tinted windows in a van? When you’re proud of something, you want people to see it!”
    “Is that why you’re always walking around with your zipper down, Mark?”
    “Did I forget AGAIN?”

  320. Droopy Says
    February 27th, 2013 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    9 Spiderman Lane: But there’s no gay subtext here! Only dirty-minded beefwits would think so!

    Creepy Les: Happiness is watching Creepy Les go bald.

    Family Circus: No, Dowwy, but you can help when he needs an emetic.

    Mock Travail: What, the fishers don’t camp? Don’t tell me Elrod ran out of camping-scene clip art!

    Mary Mirthless: I’m sure your pentothal-flavored soup will get the truth out of him, Mary.

    Phantom: Will you hurry up and discover her surgical scar already?

    Pluggers: Too much starch, eh?

  321. tallyHO
    February 27th, 2013 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#320):
    9 Spiderman Lane: But there’s no gay subtext here! Only dirty-minded beefwits would think so!

    So, Peter Parker hitched to San Francisco to hit up on some horn-head.

    Meanwhile, the missile is falling towards some buildings.

    Good job, men! You’re heroes!

    //i agree with ya, Droopy. Ol’ Man Freud would have a field day with that anti-climatic, sinking missile.

  322. Baka Gaijin
    February 27th, 2013 at 12:56 am [Reply]

    Since it’s almost the end of the thread, I may as well kill it with this: Tuesday’s Mary Worth closely resembles Marvin’s parents’ worst nightmares. You do the math.

    Ew.

  323. Sgt. Stoned
    February 27th, 2013 at 1:01 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#307): There once was a wife named Loweezy
    Who once in bed acted most sleazy
    She with Snuffy did mate
    To Lil’ Tater create
    And the thought of it leaves me quite queasy.

  324. Baka Gaijin
    February 27th, 2013 at 1:04 am [Reply]

    Wednesday’s Strips

    Great. Mrs. Worth can’t accept that someone is content leading a quiet, boring life.

    Connie Zits, taking helicopter parenting to new heights.

    I don’t get Henry. Please explain.

  325. Droopy Says
    February 27th, 2013 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    Mary Mirthless: What’s going on in the first panel? Is Mary flashing back on her bongo-playing beatnik days? Or has she put her face so close to the chicken soup because she wants to infect it with whatever pathogens she’s exhaling?

  326. bbofun
    February 27th, 2013 at 1:12 am [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#283): I realize now that those couldn’t possibly be MY comic-book nerd glasses, as mine are coded to my brainwaves. Anyone else using them would find themselves soon driven mad (MAD, I TELL YOU!)with the visions of Jimmy Olsen as Turtle Boy, Lana Lag as Insect Queen, Brother Power, the Geek, and the entire Grant Morrison run of ANIMAL MAN. (Bwah-ha-ha, indeed.)

  327. Droopy Says
    February 27th, 2013 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#321): I’d like to see more of a 9CL influence in Spiderdick. Can you imagine what McEch would put in a thought-balloon that would otherwise say “!” or “?” ?

  328. Steve
    February 27th, 2013 at 1:38 am [Reply]

    Friday, Mary Worth to herself: “You did good, Mary. You did good.”
    Saturday, Honey to Rex and June Morgan: “You did good tonight!”
    Wednesday, Daredevil to Spider-Man: “You did good, Spidey!”

    Wishing you all a happy Validation Week!

  329. Mr. O’Malley
    February 27th, 2013 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    @Hogenmogen (#20): Actually Charon the moon is a story of love. The scientist wanted to name it after his wife, Charlene, but the astronomy officials said it had to be Greek, so Charon was as close as he could get.

  330. Ratiocinator
    February 27th, 2013 at 3:46 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#326): Oh, that’s…interesting…

    Hey bbofun, for reasons entirely unrelated to comment #326, I have decided to sell these glasses and I note that you have somehow lost your pair. So my glasses can be yours for the low, low price of ten bucks.

    (I think I’d be immune to Morrison’s Animal Man, though, since I mostly enjoyed that. It surprised me to learn that Mr. Freeze was once in comic book limbo.)

  331. bbofun
    February 27th, 2013 at 5:55 am [Reply]

  332. Liam
    February 27th, 2013 at 6:45 am [Reply]

    Other than Comics Kingdom does anyone know a site that carries the soap opera comics? That site is down about once a week and it is the only place that I can read the soap opera comics that my paper doesn’t carry.

  333. gleeb
    February 27th, 2013 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    3-G: Recently bleached Martin and Gabriella are going to go get it on. Try as I might, I can’t get that out of my head.

    Mary: Going and annoying some guy who doesn’t want or need to be bothered. A classic meddle!

    Spidey: FERRY DESTROYED BY MISSILE; OUT-OF-TOWNERS BLAMED

  334. John C Fremont
    February 27th, 2013 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#302): I dunno… ever since @Joe Btfsplk (#yyyy18) made me read Junji Ito’s The Hanging Balloons the other day, the word “floater” has taken on a somewhat different meaning.

    A3G – Oh, no! Gabby has David “Al” Hedison Syndrome!

    Well, that oughta be the end of this thread. G’night, everybody!

  335. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 27th, 2013 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#332): Try the Houston Chronicle site, http://www.chron.com. They are often up when Comics Kingdom is broken. (To be fair, the opposite is often true as well.)

    Also, note that individual newspapers sponsor slightly different versions of CK. I’ve found that when al.com CK doesn’t work (Alabama), Seattle PI or Oregonian Live might. Or, again, the other way round.

    Go Comics, as you are probably aware, has a generally different set of strips than CK, but there are some duplicates, so it’s worth checking too.

  336. Liam
    February 27th, 2013 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#335):

    Thanks for the info. I already know about Go Comics. I know about Seattle Pi and the Oregonian Live, those are the first two sites that come up when I do a search for a comic. I need to remember al.com. I also get some Oklahoma newspaper when I go directly through Comics Kingdom site.

  337. NonnyMus
    February 27th, 2013 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: In panel 1, the pan is smaller than the bowl. In panel 2, the bowl is smaller than the pan. That pretty much sums up Mary Worth!

  338. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 27th, 2013 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#336): It looks to me like all the CK sites are broken this morning, but the Chron is working.

  339. Liam
    February 27th, 2013 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#338):

    I just have to say thank god it’s not something with my computer. No postings for me until I get to work.

  340. Nehemiah Scudder
    February 27th, 2013 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    @Liam (#336): I should mention the Darkgate Slurper, too. Very convenient when it works. I usually start there, and if a link is broken, go to one of the CK sites, then the Chron.

  341. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    March 3rd, 2013 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#198): Thanks, dude! Sorry I can’t be around these days, but as you might guess, I’m skimming to read Josh’s posts and performing light egoscan.

Comments are closed for this post.