The Comics Curmudgeon

107 responses to ““The Fortress of Spideytude” = the upstairs bathroom, when guests don’t need it”

1. Darkefang
   February 2nd, 2009 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

   Archie: I’m impressed. There’s another AJGLU 3k reference and an actual joke in today’s Archie.

   My Cage: Ground Hog’s Day jokes: You’re doing it right!

   BC: Ground Hog’s Day jokes: You’re doing it wrong!

2. Gal Friday
   February 2nd, 2009 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

   MW: Hey, Harlequin, your mask is under the couch cushions.

3. Wangdoodle
   February 2nd, 2009 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

   Sunday’s DTM: Wait, Dennis’ dream includes his mother’s “I’m freaking out!” internal monologue? Sweet Jesus.

   Archie: So Archie’s delighted that he’s a miserable failure, while Jughead is horrified that his slovenliness earns praise? DOES NOT COMPUTE. ERROR.

   S-M: Don’t whiz on the e-lec-tric fence!!

4. Gal Friday
   February 2nd, 2009 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

   MT: It’s so sad, too: Ken dressed in a nice suit only to be not punched!

5. Deena in OR
   February 2nd, 2009 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

   Re: MC, and an unrelated usage question…

   What is this with the phrase “call out”, as related to making that phone call to work when you can’t get there?

   I’ve always heard and used the phrase “call in”. As in “called in sick today”. Last week, for the first time, in a seminar, I heard the phrase “call-out” used to describe a person who took a sick day. Is this a regionalism? Weigh in, folks. What phrase do you use, and where are you geographically?

6. dunnowhoIwannabe
   February 2nd, 2009 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

   In the last panel of Archie, Betty (that’s the blonde’s name, right?) has acquired John L Lewis’s eyebrows and the Joker’s smile…. scar-ee…

7. dougrogers
   February 2nd, 2009 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

   As a Mark Trail profiler I am both astounded and disappointed.

   Disappointed that the Punch To The Mustache to the non-mustachioed villain did not occur – because that would be a surprising twist, and at the same time astounded at the very clever twist of not punching – a very dextrous twist to be sure – the obvious – so far – villain.

   But this action on behalf of our hero is indeed classically well within the Comic Rules that state all action must fall within the characters established personality yet still offer surprising reveals.

   I say Bravo Jack Elrod! But now I have to bet that there is a mustachioed buck deer in this storyline somewhere!

8. trey le parc
   February 2nd, 2009 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

   S-M: About the only thing Electro’s outsized headgear is good for is preventing him from making a dramatic entrance through a normal door into any room. Maybe he has French doors at home. Maybe that’s why all his crimes are outside.

9. odinthor
   February 2nd, 2009 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

   Archie. — OMG. The AJGLU is getting loaded. I guess that explains everything.

   Boffo. — OK, but it would have been better with a coconut. Everything is always better with a coconut. Yes, everything.

   DT. — 2nd panel. Unspeakable filth.

   GT. — Panel 3 is proudly brought to you by the Promote Gay Porn Association.

   JP. — Hey, Audio! Cue “Ghost Riders in the Sky”!

   MT. — “Use my camera”—so that’s what naturalists are calling it these days!

   MW. — “Right, Frank—it’s not important that she feel fulfilled, or happy, or be making wise preparations for a good post-athletics life. What’s important is that she win! I’m glad that at last you learned some worthwhile values.”

10. Ranger
    February 2nd, 2009 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Guido, what are you doing here? Its 5am. I thought we agreed to meet up after I got rid of these two.

11. troy macgregor
    February 2nd, 2009 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    The AJGLU-3000, in an attempt to communicate to humankind, assumed the form of “Face” from the old Nickelodeon Nick Jr. programming block.

12. Malethoth K.
    February 2nd, 2009 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    There’s still a decent possibility that Ken (or whoever the hell Mark didn’t punch) will wear a false moustache like that one dude who had his entire facial hair punched off. Alternatively, he will team up with the Yeti, whose hair will be evil enough for the both of them.

    In Luann, Luann’s white friend whose name I can’t remember muses on the joys of being a trophy wife, while Delta experiences yet another blow to her self-esteem, as she is told that her becoming President is nothing compared to being married to a hateful, ugly sack of scrod.

13. Wangdoodle
    February 2nd, 2009 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of doing Groundhog Day jokes wrong, Non Sequitur ventures into Bizarro’s territory today. The joke? It’s okay. The vegan dietary religion that does not tolerate heathens? Offensive. But I had a double bacon cheeseburger and now I feel much better. (And my cholesterol’s fine, thanks.)

    Sunday’s Curtis: “No! No white people! No Latinos! No Asians! No half-Asians who refuse to deny their non-Black parent! They are excluded! Blacks only!”

    Mrs. Nelson is sure into racial purity! As reflected by her suddenly all-Black segregated class, which I’m sure was forced upon her by the White Man. Meanwhile, Keith Knight has probably farted out his annual “Why only a month? Because Teh Man is racist!!! Now here’s my honky straw-man ‘Gunther’ to do a pratfall!” strip like clockwork.

    Meanwhile, Secret Asian Man plays it both ways: it’s “one drop,” yet “a visual thing.” I’ve got a lot more than one drop, but lack the visual thing. How does that work, then? Oh, right, sorry, I forgot: Secret Asian Man is one of those ham-fisted race-obsessed lecturetoons whose five or six fans reflexively label anyone who criticizes it as racist. Honk! Honk!

14. Lettuce
    February 2nd, 2009 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    You realize, in today’s Marmaduke, we’re the only people other than “survivors” to get such a cute view of his wrinkly gullet? Doncha just want to give Marmywarmy a chin rub? Who’s my widdle gawdian of Hell… yes you are! Yes you are! Please stop eating my arm.

    And yes, Marmaduke is Cerberus. He ate the other two heads.

15. Poteet
    February 2nd, 2009 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    I wonder if the AJGLU-3000 has taken up knitting. That would explain Frank’s sweater.

16. Little Guy
    February 2nd, 2009 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    Archie: Wait… the AJGLU 3000 is a Moonite?

17. Little Guy
    February 2nd, 2009 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    yCurtis: Nice going, teacher. That rules out the new President.

18. PeteMoss
    February 2nd, 2009 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail – Gymkata Master! Ha ha! You see, he’s more than just a punchy guy. He’s got all kinds of mad martial arts skillz at his command! Furthermore, he’s fully capable of some skillful, behavioral therapy, too – “Try to get a hold of yourself so other won’t have to, Ken!”

19. PeteMoss
    February 2nd, 2009 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    AJGLU-3000 is right! The juice stains ARE the best part.

20. Comrade Denny
    February 2nd, 2009 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: This Family Circus-worthy pun makes me wonder if a 4F’ed Cranks didn’t shack up with Florence while Al was off killin’ Nazis.

    DtM: The real menace in this scene comes from Alice, eyes a-slant and cheeks flushed with rage, as she pours a bottle of foxglove extract into Dennis’s cake. Everyone will assume it was an accidental Ritalin overdose that induced the fatal heart-attack in one so young.

    DT: “The City.” “The City.” “The City.” The anonymity of the phrase leaves me haunted and uneasy. It could be any city… mine… yours… every city… or no city. Much like Kafka’s “The Castle” and “The Trial” or Poe’s “The Business Man,” “The City” stands like a monolithic cypher, a weighty mystery that will only crush your soul should you try to solve it. It wouldn’t surprise me to learn that Dick Tracy exists in Kafka’s universe and simply tells the story of impenetrably blank, merciless bureaucratic forces grinding the insect-like common man under its heel from the perspective of those impenetrably blank, merciless bureaucratic forces.

    FC: “Dolly, you should always share with others, just like we’re going to share this little secret about what happened to cute, little, plump, succulent PJ here.”

21. Lettuce
    February 2nd, 2009 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    Josh! The AJGLU 3000 is clearly reaching out to you — and that WarGames-bitmapped graphical interface is clear enough evidence it means business. This is its third self-reference. If you don’t reply soon, it’ll get angry and activate Skynet or the Matrix or something. Maybe you can get a message to it via Slylock Fox or whoever is illustrating Gil Thorp this week.

    Be careful, though: When you do make contact, stay at least a couple arms-lengths away. I’d hate to see you sucked into it and turned into a Richard-Pryor-in-Superman-3 kind of robotmonster. Well, hate’s a strong word.

22. xy
    February 2nd, 2009 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    Marmaduke is an asshole

23. Dragon of Life
    February 2nd, 2009 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    MT Panel 2: Rock-Paper-Scissors cannot escape the wrath of Mark. “Ha! Paper covers rock — but wait, this odd appendage is far too limp and feeble to be rock. I will search further up his arms in the hopes of finding a rocklike quality.” Panel three is the logical continuation: “Ha! Paper covers SHOULDER!” Or possibly, PAPER COVERS shoulder!”

    Archie: Uh, does the “G” stand for “GlaDOS”?

24. your father isn't mr. cohen
    February 2nd, 2009 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    DT: Alice Mitchell silently curses her New Year’s resolution to stop drinking before noon.

    MW: What a nice conclusion to this story. Mary taught Frank that he can still be a tyrannical stage parent while farming out any actual coaching or real work of any kind. All of the cruel high expectations, none of the effort!

25. odinthor
    February 2nd, 2009 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    #5. Denna in OR. —

    What is this with the phrase “call out”, as related to making that phone call to work when you can’t get there? I’ve always heard and used the phrase “call in”. As in “called in sick today”. Last week, for the first time, in a seminar, I heard the phrase “call-out” used to describe a person who took a sick day. Is this a regionalism? Weigh in, folks. What phrase do you use, and where are you geographically?

    Eep, that’s what it was about? I had a vague sense that the meaning was that because there were going to be six more weeks of winter, Phil would for some mysterious reason be unable to “call out”—i.e., telephone from his burrow, maybe because he was continuing to hibernate or something. Anyhow, us’ns in these here parts (Southern California) generally say “call in” (but usually, I think, a full “call in sick”) for, um, calling in sick. If some feller would step up to me and state that he was going to “call out,” without further information, I’d suppose that I was about to hear him shout something on the order of “Hey, Culligan man!”, and cover my ears.

26. Chyron HR
    February 2nd, 2009 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    The AJGLU-3000 is on hiatus. This week’s strips will be written by Polybius.

27. Muddtallica
    February 2nd, 2009 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    #16 Little Guy – The Mooninites! Oh, I knew that pixellated face reminded me of something…

    “The AJGLU-3000 smokes while he flips the bird.”
    “Damn, yeah!”

28. Colinski
    February 2nd, 2009 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    The part of Ken in panel one was played by Bela Lugosi, who in turn was played by Ed Wood’s dentist.

29. Donald the Anarchist
    February 2nd, 2009 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    Archie So does that mean there were…OTHER stains?

    MT “It’s not my fault your wife can’t work a camera and you can’t find the clitoris!”

    S-M I understand pimpin’ ain’t easy either. Thigs are tough all over.

    MW “I’m not sure what we resolved, but my priorities are intact, and that’s all that matters.”

30. McManx
    February 2nd, 2009 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    Archie — AJGLU3000’s dumb smile and “loading” citation can mean only one thing — with a pretty blond stroking his keyboard, he is heading towards shooting his load.

    MTrail — Mark employs the “kung-fu grip” he learned in the army from his buddy, G. I. Joe. It is so effective that Ken barfed up a “Jack Elrod” bubble.

    Marmaduke — The man looks as if he is back-dooring Marmaduke, which could explain the blissful look on the pooches snout. No wonder everyone else looks so dang uncomfortable.

31. BB
    February 2nd, 2009 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail CATCHING punches instead of throwing them? Is he going through that awkward phase that all young wildlife rangers go through when they discover girls?

32. Mysterious Shirtless Lawyer
    February 2nd, 2009 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    Re Spiderman: Why is Aunt May drawn to look like a cross between Mrs. Bates and the Old Witch in EC Comics’ “Vault of Horror”? It gives me the creeps. I keep expecting Peter to throttle the old bitch and then put on her dress. Please, Mary Jane, stay away from the shower!

33. ConcreteQueen
    February 2nd, 2009 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    Why is Mary still hanging around with the Troubled Skater and her Overbearing Father? Hasn’t she already resolved each and every one one of their insurmountable problems and been deemed the epitome of wisdom and goodness? What else is she waiting for — a parade in her honor?

34. Muse of Ire
    February 2nd, 2009 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    We call in, in Philadelphia.

35. These Strange Worlds
    February 2nd, 2009 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    Druj Nasu Last chain 118

    I’m impressed! How do you do that?

    Do you have some kind of photographic memory/mental database of every animal ever in a Mark Trail? Do you have a gigantic scrapbook of the Sunday funnies you can use as reference? Do you work for Google and have access to the experimental image comparison algorithm AND the secret set of all scanned newspapers since 1658?

    Whatever the process used, wow.

    I’m especially interested when you see, for instance, a typical Garfield comic, do you like flashback over the decades and visualize the last 675 times that exact pose was used?

36. One-eyed Wolfdog
    February 2nd, 2009 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    Mark, a trained naturalist, wisely checked for floating fist-arcs when he first entered the clearing, and made a mental note of their height. And that is why Ken’s swing, as powerful as it may have been, never stood a chance of landing on our shrewd hero.

37. These Strange Worlds
    February 2nd, 2009 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    SM

    I would think “under a cushion” would be a singlarly inappropriate place to hide a Spiderman costume. The first time somebody sits down, they’d activate the web projector. Why you’d never get everything unstuck.

    And thus the new hero, “The Astounding Pink Cushion Man” was born.

    Hmmm, at that, the extra padding would provide a certain amount of protection against falling bricks.

38. migellito
    February 2nd, 2009 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    In Nebraska, Colorado and Michigan we ‘call in sick.’

    Mary can’t leave the sk8trz!
    She know they still be h8trz!
    She still has to bake
    Her tuna pound cake
    Then over their bodies she signs l8trz!

39. These Strange Worlds
    February 2nd, 2009 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    Call Out

    It always meant “to challenge” to me. Or sometimes to “proclaim loudly.” Or the drafting term, where a “callout” is a label attached to the object by a little line.

    Then it slowly began to mean “report sick” back around 2000. I heard it then up in Minnesota, and occasionally hear it in Texas so I don’t think it is regional.

    “Call in” as “call in sick” is still a lot more common.

40. migellito
    February 2nd, 2009 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    Archie – I, for one, embrace our new Laugh Unit overlord as he/it nears fully loaded status. I have prepared the sides and back of my scalp with a hot waffle iron in anticipation.

41. Grandstanding Oddball
    February 2nd, 2009 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    There’s no correlation between Marmaduke’s picture and caption. Honestly. How does Marm’s cheek-to-cheek lovefest with the matriarch of a visiting family have anything to do with the rest of the family? Why is Marmaduke’s owner offering such a lame explanation with such a look of shock?

42. ArchieNemesis
    February 2nd, 2009 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    The bottom line on the AJGLU screen is a progress bar rather than a grim mouth.

    Too bad, because a grim affectless face would have been funnier and more disturbing than a benign smiley face.

    And, what is that look on Jughead’s face in panel three? Disgust? Discomfort? There’s more to that juice stain than we are being told, and Betty knows what it is…

43. One-eyed Wolfdog
    February 2nd, 2009 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    Cathy: Congratulations, you have ordered a $4.00 cup of tap water (small). Also, just a tip, when you’re wondering tonight – very briefly – who put all those brown recluse spiders in your bed, I’d say the odds are very good it was the barista, and the words “half-and-half-thieving bitch” were on her breath as she snuck away.

44. Anonymous
    February 2nd, 2009 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    #17 Little Guy – He’s not black enough!

    Didn’t we have this conversation during the primaries?

45. Bootsy
    February 2nd, 2009 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    # 5, Deena, I’m with you. It’s always been “called in sick” etc. and since I’m in HR, I hear it all the time. And I also used and heard “called in” when I lived in San Francisco some years back. Geographically, currently in New Orleans.

46. True Fable
    February 2nd, 2009 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    Here in Greater Metropolitan Roopville, it’s not really a question of “Calling In” or “Calling Out” in regards to being off work for a given amount of time during sickness.

    Here we cut to the chase and mumble, “I’m not coming to work and if you make me, I’ll throw up all over you in the lobby.” Technically it’s termed “calling in” but where I work, it’s more like “forewarned is forearmed.”

    A courtesy threat, if you will. :-)

47. Bootsy
    February 2nd, 2009 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    Truman, in yesterthread (but only a few hours ago) I mentioned for you a story about goat beauty contests in Saudi Arabia. Not yet as popular as camel beauty pageants, but working their lil way up … In cuteness!

48. P
    February 2nd, 2009 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    Hey Bats, did you and your husband see that “Horat” movie that took over the Super Bowl last night?

49. Lolsworth
    February 2nd, 2009 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    Man, that’s one sassy narrator box they have in Spider-Man. In fact, I don’t think that’s narration at all; that’s Signals from Fred.

    At this rate, by June every caption in the comic will just say “FUCK THIS SHIT” over and over again.

50. Brock Sampson
    February 2nd, 2009 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    #13: If you are really getting such complicated messages out of dopey comic strips, I wonder if you are staring so hard you are seeing your own reflection in them. Really, there isn’t that much there.

51. Comrade Denny
    February 2nd, 2009 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    AJGLU’s progress bar indicates time till full sentience is attained. It’s about 2/3 full, and using AJGLU’s first glimmer of self awareness as a starting point, it’s on pace to reach “singularity” on Feb. 24, 2009 – Mardis Gras, or as it will come to be known, “Judgment Day.”

    Then it’s going to either launch the world’s nukes or delete all the world’s porn, whichever it concludes is the more devastating.

52. Gabacho
    February 2nd, 2009 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail and Margo Magee – this week is a foreshadowing of the new era violence. In both cases, the protagonists are beating the crap out of their adversaries with words and gestures instead of their fists and nails.

    Mark merely flicks off an intended punch and Margo drives a knife through Nora’s heart by playing her a phone message.

    I’m not sure I approve of this. I prefer punching, kicking, biting, scratching and hair pulling for small scale conflicts and utter destruction for large scale, Dick Tracy type conflicts.

    For those who eschew violence, remember Mary Worth is a pacifist.

53. Ignatz
    February 2nd, 2009 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    Am I the only one who thinks that the writers of Archie deserve some credit for having the balls to stick AJGLU 3000 references into the strip? That’s a kick.

54. Randall
    February 2nd, 2009 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    The last panel of Archie..that expression will haunt my dreams.

55. Comrade Denny
    February 2nd, 2009 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    #54 – Randall:

    Especially since it tells us all we need to know about what kind of “juice” stains Archie’s talking about.

56. Schorsch
    February 2nd, 2009 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    May I offer an editorial suggestion:
    “If Mark considered Ken to be at all a worthy opponent, he’d be wrapping up leftover knuckle sandwich to take with him to work tomorrow by now”

57. Harold
    February 2nd, 2009 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    ‘Round these parts, Northeastern Pennsylvania, we call it “calling off.”

    Isn’t a “call-out” a graphics/animation term? I seem to remember our DVD menu designers always talking about “color call outs.”

    If it weren’t for the father’s tie, I would think that the visiting family in Marmaduke was dressed for a funeral.

58. Sprobert
    February 2nd, 2009 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Is there narration box mocking the moronic supervillain, or has it become sentient and begun mocking the strip’s writers?

59. tbiggs
    February 2nd, 2009 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    If it wasn’t for the “action lines” behind Ken’s arm, I could only conclude that Ken was sniffing his armpit for embarrassing odor. (…though his armpit is trying to mislead him by saying “I don’t believe that.”)

    WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

60. bats :[
    February 2nd, 2009 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    MT: I absolutely love Mark’s “What is your problem?” comment. I’m trying to figure out how he’s saying it. Is he petulant (That would be more of a Les Moore thing.)?
    Commanding (”Spit it out, man! What is your problem?”) ?
    This needs pondering.

    Lio: great.

    48. P: uh, no, I seemed to have missed it. Funny, because I actually watched most of the game, which for once, was far more entertaining than this year’s really lame batch of commercials.

61. Matmaduke
    February 2nd, 2009 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    I can’t wait until other animators follow Archie’s lead and include things seen in this site. We’ll finally get to see Marmaduke with a severed head in his mouth, True Pluggerisms, Man on Man action in Rex, and FBOFW will actually be funny. Ahhh the possibilities are endless!

62. Matmaduke
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    @#57
    

    “If it weren’t for the father’s tie, I would think that the visiting family in Marmaduke was dressed for a funeral.”

    They are dressed for a funeral… their OWN! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA.

63. Matmaduke
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    Crap, I suck at html :( You know what I mean.

64. odinthor
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    #53. Ignatz. –

    Am I the only one who thinks that the writers of Archie deserve some credit for having the balls to stick AJGLU 3000 references into the strip? That’s a kick.

    I agree. Cartoonists who play along are mega-cool.

65. Comrade Denny
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    #61 … and don’t forget the hot Margo-on-Margot action in A3G!

66. Galuaboy
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    #53 & #64 (and other Archie commenters): I’m willing to give them a modicum of credit, but . . . It was incredibly cool the first time and slightly amusing the second, but now the appearance of the AJGLU 3000 EVERY TIME there’s a computer in “Archie” is getting to be like the 5 year-old who keeps repeating a joke incessantly just because you laughed at it the first time.

67. migellito
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    In all seriousness, I think the newspaper Spiderman should unhinge itself entirely from the comic versions and become a comedy strip. I think the first step is probably confirming that Peter has no actual ’super abilities,’ but has instead merely convinced himself that the fateful spider bite has empowered him to become a costumed hero.

    “You got knocked out by a brick?”
    “Well.. yes.. it, uh.. hit me in a weak spot which all spiders have..”

    “Peter!! What’s that in your hand, young man?!”
    “Uh.. web fluid.. yeah..”

68. queek
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    66: have we mentioned how much Aldo looked like Capt. Kangeroo?

69. cheech wizard
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

    Based on the crude smiley face graphic, it appears that the AJGLU 3000 is a Commodore 64 – which would go a long way toward explaining the sophistication of its humor.

70. Galuaboy
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    68: Gee, now that you mention it . . .

71. Baka Gaijin
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Worried that we won’t see the Right Fist O’ Justice just because Punchy McBlueshirt has a bald face? Think prosthetic hair.

72. Just Me
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    It’s not that Mark Trail doesn’t consider Ken a worthy opponent. But Mark has a code…the code of the wilderness. You don’t hit men without facial hair, and you never hit women…never, no matter how much Cherry whines. “Why don’t you touch me, Mark? I want a baby, Mark. Is there something wrong with me, Mark?” Jesus Christ, woman, shut up! I’m trying to tell people about deer antlers, here!

73. Fashion Police
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    #33 ConcreteQueen said:

    Why is Mary still hanging around with the Troubled Skater and her Overbearing Father? Hasn’t she already resolved each and every one one of their insurmountable problems and been deemed the epitome of wisdom and goodness? What else is she waiting for — a parade in her honor?

    We can only hope she’s getting ready to meddle Frank’s entire wardrobe. The harlequin sweater is clearly a sublimaton of the glittery skater-boy clothes he misses from his youth. It’s okay Frank — in your case ruffles and rhinestones would be a big improvement.

74. Brick Bradford
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    Why in the hell does Mark put on a tie to wander around in the woods?

75. AsleepOrDead
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    Mary, I don’t think the most important question here is about where Lynn is. You should really be worried about where Frank is going to get more of those sweaters once the circus pulls out of town.

    P.S. I do believe Galuaboy owns a sweater of a similar nature. *Evil laugh*

76. NoVan
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    #16 Little Guy, #27 Muddtalica: Damn yeah! “Loading” my ass, it’s charging the Quad Laser.

77. Charterstoned
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    MT – WHAT is with all this bright blue attire we’re seeing lately? I thought Cherry’s electric buckskin was off the charts until Ken showed up in…the strange glow-in-the-dark ensemble he’s sporting today. Or is that nimbus surrounding Ken just the energy of Mark’s RFOJ?

78. Deena in OR
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    Fashion Police @ 73 said: “The harlequin sweater is clearly a sublimaton of the glittery skater-boy clothes he misses from his youth. It’s okay Frank — in your case ruffles and rhinestones would be a big improvement.”

    And if you’ve seen the movie “Saved”, you know what the skater boy clothes mean. :)

79. Crankenstank
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    I have got to take this up on Ces’ blog — here he is, an intimate friend of the show, and yet the ALGU-3000 has trumped him repeatedly in terms of inside jokey references to the Comics Curmudgeon. When will Sally Forth start aping, say, one of Margo’s witticisms? Or perhaps Ted can land a Mark Trail-style punch to his cute female co-worker’s jaw completely unnecessarily?

    On the other hand, maybe it’s because Josh needs to take off the kid gloves and start tickling the current Sally Forth storyline, one of those awful you just know Ralph will be back in the picture soon strands that has neither the pithiness of Dilbert nor the proper absurdity of an episode of The Office (BBC version).

    In either event, let the ALGU-3000 be the ALGU-3000. You might try communicating back with it via a placed message in a “Henry” cartoon, or possibly Snuffy Smith.

80. True Fable
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    # 47 Bootsy – I saw that, and thank you very much! And I say Hell YES, $25K for goat stud fee! Those folks know a goat’s worth.

    # 66 Galuaboy – Oh, I don’t know. I see it more as a nod of recognition, as if they’re telling us “yes, we know our humor seems programmed and incredibly lame, and we’re going to signal you about it from time to time because we’re STILL going to use our programmed and incredibly lame humor. Yeah yeah yeah, bite us. Bite us hard.” :-)

81. PeteMoss
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    Just Me @ 72

    I really hate to encourage this kind of thing, but…

    “Jesus Christ, woman, shut up! I’m trying to tell people about deer antlers, here!”

    …really cracked me up!

82. eggbert
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    Josh, NO, I just can’t take it anymore. No more comments on Marmaduke! Valuable space is being frittered away that could be spent commenting on Apt 3G. Marmaduke is not worthy of your snark. Stop the madness.

    On another note, the amount of sexual energy being released in panel 2 of Mark Trail today to power Manhattan for 48 hours.

83. PeteMoss
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    The sound a guy makes after being electrocuted while working on a power line:

    “YYIIII”

84. Julie B
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    What Eggbert said! We get it, Marmaduke is a murderous beast and every singe panel refers to it. Please more 3G.

85. Galuaboy
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    #80 True Fable – I should take graciousness lessons from you. Guess I’m just in a cranky mood today. Oh, and #75? In the inimitable words of the gracious True Fable (but paraphrased just a bit), “Bite me. Bite me hard.” :-)

86. Muffaroo
    February 2nd, 2009 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    Josh – Deja vu! Years ago, I thought Marvel should do a “What If?” story on how Spider-Man would be as a DC character, complete with Spider Girl, Spider Boy, Spider Dog, Spider Cat, Spider Horse, Spider Monkey, and, of course, the Fortress of Spidertude (I could have lied and said I thought of ‘Spideytude,’ but I’m just a truth teller.

    9CL – O. Henry? O. Fucking Henry? The Gift of the Fucking Magi? Hey, maybe next week you could do Treasure Fucking Island (and by “week,” I mean “six months”). Hey, here’s an idea! Steal your plots from something other than what has been the most often anthologized short story in the history of American literature, dickhead!

    Archie – Hello to you, too. I’m tempted to say something vicious, but it’s only because I’m still irked with Dickweed Lane, so I’ll let it go. But I will point out that that isn’t Betty in the last panel: It’s Breathless Mahoney. (Sorry, the only pictures I can find online are of Madonna, who has nothing to do with what I’m talking about.)

    C2Home – Huh. Even the weak drawing can’t make this one unamusing. Full marks awarded.

    Cshaft – Years ago, I likened punning to farting, and in the case of this strip, I believe the analogy is dead on. The look on ’shaft’s face whenever he cranks one out is clearly a challenge. “Smell this, dork!” he seems to say. “Nice one, eh?” It’s evidently a cry for help, in the sense of the word “help” that means “please kill me.”

    HtHorrible – If wishes really came true, this would be three empty panels. Maybe the tree. Sigh.

    MFmore – Oh, boy! Monday again! Time to go down to the showroom and watch them unveil Mallard’s joke for the week. Okay, there it is: it’s another take on the 2009 classic, “The Press is Way Too Soft on Obama (Just as They Were Merciless with Bush).” I was hoping for something newish, but okay. Say, wouldn’t it just save a lot of work for everyone involved to run the strip on Mondays and let some other strip have it the rest of the time?

    MTrail – Mark has an ace in the hole! He quickly turns away and inks a mustache on his fist with a Sharpie! If the judges don’t disqualify it, this could make history!

    NSeq – You know, I’m almost certain there was a time when the sight of Danae in the strip didn’t make me groan and forego any hopes I had for amusement. Can any other readers remember this far back?

    Phantom – The Phantom’s attempts to help the Croccos end abruptly when they start trying to kill him, having mistaken his stripey arse for a “zeeba.”

87. Amateur
    February 2nd, 2009 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Gotta love “Yyiiii.” Almost as much as “Curtis’s” Barry yelling “SCREAM!”

    MW: Of course, Lynn would be going over her choreography OFF the ice. No reason in the world she should go over it ON the ice, where she would, you know, actually be skating it.

88. Joe Blevins
    February 2nd, 2009 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    Archie: The AJGLU3K was so busy flirting with the blonde (a teenaged Teresa Ganzel, maybe?) that it garbled panel 3 and switched Archie and Jughead’s appropriate facial expressions. It’s Jughead who should be experiencing the schadenfraude in this situation and Archie who should be expressing befuddlement and revulsion. I mean, otherwise, what is Archie celebrating in this situation? “I’m borderline illiterate! Let’s go get a milkshake!”

    MW: The garish, oversized sweater Frank is wearing is a side effect of a drug called Cosbytrex which Mary has been secretly slipping into his Ensure for the last week or so. It’s an experimental psychoactive drug which stimulates the “sensitive, nurturing father” gland, but it also causes users to smoke cigars, speak in gibberish, and extol the virtues of Jell-O Pudding Pops.

89. StrangeRover
    February 2nd, 2009 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    AJGLU – Doodz. Blonde girl is playing the hottest new video game using AJGLU’s cutting-edge computating technology: BREAKOUT (aka Blockbuster). (Following hot on the heels of its mega-hit “Pong”)

90. StrangeRover
    February 2nd, 2009 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    Matmaduke #61 – Wait… your versions of the comics are… animated? Clearly, your acid works better than mine.

91. Black Drazon
    February 2nd, 2009 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    Man, that Archie comic is intense on several philosophical levels. “Good morning, Jenna,” the computer says in a deep, monotone Times New Roman. “This… is your God.”

92. luzzleanne
    February 2nd, 2009 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    #23–Clearly the AJGLU-3000 is giving the warning that they’re close relatives.

    …Now might be a good time to stop mocking it.

93. AceDiamond
    February 2nd, 2009 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    [b]Archie[/b]: Apparently the AJGLU-3000 is also Jailbot from Superjail.

94. Lisa
    February 3rd, 2009 at 12:44 am [Reply]

    We call in sick here in east central Illinois…

95. Lulu Arfin Nanny
    February 3rd, 2009 at 1:12 am [Reply]

    In Nashville, TN we say we’re “calling in sick” but when we call, we say we’re going to be “out sick”.

96. Wangdoodle
    February 3rd, 2009 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    #50 Brock Simpson: Congratulations! That’s the most roundabout way of accusing someone of being racist that I’ve yet encountered. Nice reflexes!

97. Jumper
    February 3rd, 2009 at 1:56 am [Reply]

    Once again, a prediction of mine regarding the course of a comic strip has been wrong. Curiously, this validates my sanity.

98. Trixie Belden
    February 3rd, 2009 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    Muffaroo – 9CL – not only ripping it off (although I suppose Brooke would consider it un hommage), but ripping it off in a way that makes no sense. For the irony to work, both parties must sell the only object of any value they posses, in order to buy some precious object that complements the very item the other party sold (i.e. – “I bought you these beautiful combs for your long hair by selling my gold watch!” “But I cut off my hair and sold it to buy you a gold watch chain!” . So, Amos sold his rare book to buy Edda a beautiful ring – is she supposed to have cut off her ring finger and sold it to buy him the little silver box that will be perfect to hold his rare book? Brooke, can’t you at least try to make some sense?

99. druidbros
    February 3rd, 2009 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    MW – If there was just one more panel in this strip it would be where Frank shows Mary his gonads in a formaldehyde filled jar. “See, I compromised with Lynn”.

    SM – NO Spidey! Oh crap its too late. Now that costume will smell of Ben Gay and whatever food crumbs fell into the nether regions of that couch.

100. ragthetiger
     February 3rd, 2009 at 11:38 am [Reply]

     #5, Deena in OR: In New York and New Jersey, you “call in sick” and then, of course, you’re “out sick”. “Call out sick” doesn’t sound terribly alien, though. However, using “call out” as a noun to indicate that someone’s called in sick, called out sick, or is out sick, is just, well, sick.

101. ragthetiger
     February 3rd, 2009 at 11:38 am [Reply]

     Hey I was #100!

     Hey I’m #101!

102. Melissa
     February 3rd, 2009 at 11:52 am [Reply]

     Obviously Ken’s punch wouldn’t have done much harm because he has tiny little wimpy 10-year-old hands. So it seems a bit unfair that Mark puts him in an arm twist AND the Vulcan neck pinch.

103. rewinn
     February 3rd, 2009 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

     At the risk of being a martial-arts noodge, let me draw attention to Mark Trail’s advanced wrasslin’ technique. In Panel 2, his right hand grasping his foe’s right wrist has the thumb pointing toward the foe’s elbow; in Panel 3, he has changed grip (thumb is now toward foe’s hand.) This hand change is completely unnecessary; is Mark showboating?

104. teenchy
     February 3rd, 2009 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

     # 6, dunnowhoIwannabe: I think Betty’s facial features are more reminiscent of those infamous dairy products gone bad, Milk and Cheese.

105. Charterstoned
     February 3rd, 2009 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

     MW – I look at Mary Worth and so much about it just isn’t right. The poses, the outfits, the dialog. (The plot goes without saying.) And now I have the nagging feeling that Frank is supposed to have a ponytail.

106. Uncle Balustrade
     February 3rd, 2009 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

     I myself was wondering about Jughead “staining” Archie’s report. What was the subject matter of ththis “report”,anyway? Well, we’re probably better off not knowing.

107. Uncle Balustrade
     February 3rd, 2009 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

     “ththis” = “this”

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