Metapost: Scary baby COTW
Comments of the week coming shortly, but first, a few items of interest! The first comes from faithful reader Zamboni Rodeo, who found and scanned a classic Dick Tracy Sunday strip from Reminisce magazine. (“Mostly it is what you suspect it might be,” he says, “people submitting stories about things from their childhoods and talking about how much better things were way back when. It’s a whole magazine of ‘you kids get off my lawn’ to a certain degree.”) I won’t attempt to make like modern newspapers and shrink the size down to fit the page; you can see the whole thing here if you want. Here’s the best/most terrifying panel:
That creepy child, born with a Crystal Gayle-length mane of hair and held up by some sort of mad scientist in black rubber gloves, is the spawn of B.O. Plenty and Gravel Gertie, two characters who still figure into Dick Tracy’s madness. The baby is named Sparkle. Sparkle Plenty. You cannot tell me that drugs aren’t involved in this.
Also! Faithful reader Clare points me to Garfield: Lost in Translation, in which the titular fat cat’s dialogue is translated from English to Japanese and back by computer, with generally funny results.
Also also! Faithful Reader Jesse C is preparing his strip, All Too Human, for submission to the syndicates. Help him out by voting on the best ones!
And now, your comment of the week!
“What kind of little boy has a dog named ‘Sassy’? Even I wasn’t that gay.” –Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
And your runners up! There are a lot of them, but there was a lot of good material to work with this week:
“Phantom, Phantom, stripes on his butt/ The ladies like how his jib’s cut.” –Mel
“And so, because Electro couldn’t succeed in sufficiently humiliating himself with that outfit, Spiderman must finish the task for him.” –buckyswife
“If those cleaning chemicals are as caustic as Ruby wanted them to be, we’re probably witnessing the genesis of A3G’s first Batman-style supervillain. Hideously deformed, Doc Joe will wander the criminal underworld for years, resurfacing in a later plotline, to the horror of all: ‘My God, his face! It’s … it’s … actually, he still looks exactly like all the other cleanshaven males I know.’” –Howlin’ Wolf
“Thank goodness for all those expository captions and speech balloons in Apartment 3-G. Based solely on the pictures, it looks like the goodwife upends her milk bucket over a man’s head while James Coburn gives him a shoulder massage. In the final panel, Dame Edna shows up with a cell phone. So much like my dreams, it’s scary.” –Steve S
“It was somewhere between ‘Back off, Joe, or I’ll shoot,’ ‘WHACK WHACK WHACK,’ and ‘Do you girls want me to taser him?’ that I realized I had found my Apartment 3-G Spot.” –Melissa G
“Mrs. Bloom’s soliloquy: I was the flower of the building yes when I put the rag on my hair like the Staten Island girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Tibetan wall in all my red silk yes and I thought well as well him as another and in the harsh glare of the Dakota sun I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my apartment flower how will you Bathroom for me and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume and solvents yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will pull that Tazer from under the pillow and place it like a scapular to his chest and find my trigger and yes Yes.” –Uncle Lumpy
“So is Montoni’s like the Michael Patterson of the pizza world, or do the Funkians only eat there because there are no other restaurants? I’m kind of picturing that scene in 1984 where Winston wonders if there ever was such a thing as food that tasted better than what he gets, only with pizza.” –commodorejohn
“Tommie’s stupefaction in panel two is entirely justified by the sudden tone shift. ‘Um, hello guys? I just went through some serious Cape Fear/The Shining bullshit, and now suddenly we’re all sitcom-laughable with the wacky taser-happy neighbor? Come on, when Lu Ann hallucinated that swirly pastel painter and fainted everyone was sober and concerned for weeks, but I have to Rorschach my way out of a bathroom and all of a sudden it’s Marmaduke??’” –teddytoad
“I don’t think Margo is as much taken aback as jealous that Mrs Bloom is packing superior weaponry. All Margo has on her is her umbrella, a shiv, and a small thermonuclear device, which is not so useful at short range.” –Les of the Jungle Patrol
“All that’s left is for Mary to swoop in and send Adrian to Vietnam. She probably won’t see any red flags there either.” –Uncle Fritzy Ritz
“Ah A3G, where everyone shows just the right level of childish glee at the opportunity to test out a brand new taser. Except of course for Tommie, who hasn’t felt anything since 1997.” –sak
“It’s the extra-large, cop-size tissue box — for manly, police-oriented tears!” –Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
“At least he didn’t mention that the specter of his dead wife also thinks he’s dating.” –rhymes with puck
“Oh, now I get it. Cayla’s sort of drunk. That’s what makes these ‘dates’ with Les just barely endurable. Good for her.” –sugarpie
“The curious twist in Apartment 3-G is that this entire scenario is a complicated sex game engineered by the secretly-involved Mrs. Bloom and Dr. Kelly. ‘And then they’ll tie you up and put a bucket on your head.’ ‘Yes! And then what?’ ‘Then I’ll use the taser!’ ‘Yes! Yes! Yes!’” –yeff (Jeff Soesbe)
“If you were trying to choose the exact shade of beige that dogs aren’t, you could not choose any better than Jack Elrod has chosen.” –One-eyed Wolfdog
“I have no criticisms or snide remarks for Dick Tracy today. Today’s DT is a thing of beauty, wonder and joy. I only wish that all strips had the brilliant audacity to turn themselves into a constant stream of disorienting, mindless violence perpetuated by the titular characters. It’d make both Cathy and Marvin worth reading, I know that.” –Alan’s Addiction
“I think Toni and Brad are about to have sex! Either she will land face first into Brad’s crotch with her big, plump lips smashed into his junk, or her uniform will come undone as she flies into Brad’s waiting … uh … appendage? Either way, it will be involuntary.” –Desert Ghost
“I see in the third panel that Mark Trail has now morphed into a new comic, The Adventures of Young Karl Malden.” –Capn Gravy
“I’m convinced Pluggers is a stealth campaign to destroy the furry lifestyle. What else could so effectively turn people off to the idea of being a furry? Certainly not prejudice and rejection from mainstream culture!” –avatarjk137
“Which of Brad’s squishy innards did Toni Daytona rupture or lacerate when she flopped off the ladder, driving her oxygen tank into Brad’s barrelly torso?? What, all of them? Good answer!” –Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
“I dunno, there is something refreshing about the straightforward laziness of today’s Pluggers. It is like the author just got up on the wrong side of the bed one day and when asking himself for the one millionth time ‘What the hell is a Plugger, anyway?’ he snapped back, ‘Douchebags who still use dial-up! Leave me alone and let me get back to trolling mininova for leaked footage of Wolverine.’” –Reepicheep-chan
“9CL: Like the unholy hybrid offspring of Love is… and a thesaurus.” –Winky’s Spleen
“Everyone thinks Brad is seriously injured, but he’s really just trying to hide the huge erection he got from actually touching his groin to the ass of a woman he isn’t related to.” –Hank
“CAYLA!! WATCH THE ROAD!! WATCH THE ROAD!! YOU’RE A CHARACTER ON DEATHY WINKERDEATH FOR CRYIN’ OUT LOUD!!” –The Mighty Captian E
“Dead Lisa, being dead, is the only character in FW who is allowed happiness. And as far as I know, dead people don’t get cancer. I say make her the main character.” –Mac
“‘Twitter’ is the sound Sally makes when Ted wrists her. (His hands are too dainty to make a good fist.)” –Comrade Denny
“You hoped Rex Morgan would devolve into gay porn? I was hoping it would rise to gay porn’s level.” –cranky
“That last GT panel is haunting me. It looks like the lead-in to a CSI episode. After analyzing the freeze frame, I can only conclude that Coach fired a blazing fastball directly into Robb’s mouth (note the impact lines), which has come out the back of his skull and evidently is now propelling his baseball cap offstage left as he flails in his death seizure. Bits of flying bone and/or teeth litter the scene for the final grisly touch.” –Talking Squirrel
“I’d like to think, with the way Cayla is holding Les’ head in both hands, that she’s about to say, ‘If you’re still so into your dead wife, why don’t you JOIN HER IN THE BACK SEAT?!’ and then she snaps his neck with military precision.” –Patrick
“Paranormal necrophilia sounds so good when I say it out loud but I’m sure to be disappointed. This is, after all, Funky Winkerbean, the strip that delights in reader disappointment.” –thurston unger
“I predict Funky laying off Les to save money. Les won’t be able to afford Summer’s college and Summer will start taking steroids in order to play better and get a scholarship and… I could go on, but I won’t. Let’s just assume it ends in tragedy, shall we? Mime death for everyone!” –zooby
“Speaking of 24/7 Big Brother style monitoring, Skyler has just realized his technologically incompetent uncle, unable to get news from anywhere but the long since cancelled newspapers, is unaware that The Regime has banned making jokes forever on pain of death, and that he is watching the old man’s mercifully short final moments.” –Black Drazon
Big thanks go to those who put some cash into my tip jar! And thanks must also go to my advertisers:
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Hank
May 4th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Congratulations all!
White Rabbit
May 4th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
I’ve read so many of these comments this week that it’s clear I should get out more.
Zaq
May 4th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
Note that I am not, in ANY WAY, complaining, but there are an awful lot of funny comments this week! Good job all around!
Also, I was already aware of Sparkle Plenty and I have no idea why or how. This does not terrify me as much as it should. This fact, in turn, worries me.
Poteet
May 4th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
Yay for Li’l Bunne FooFoo and all you funny runners-up! I’m tossing flowers and cheering. Congratulations!
And I note two things about the full version of that old DT. (1) You could pose babies then in ways that would get you arrested now. (2) The touching hold-her-up scene is a fairly direct ripoff from OLIVER TWIST. At least DT stole from a classic back then.
buckyswife
May 4th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
Thanks, Josh, and congrats all–so funny!
And #3 Zaq: Me, too. I think I read Dick Tracy as a kid, and she somehow imprinted on my brain. Good god–if she’s in there, what else is?
Angry Kem
May 4th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
Back in the old days, when a baby was born covered in hair, people would assume it was the child of the devil and beat it to death with fire irons.
commodorejohn
May 4th, 2009 at 10:43 pm
So Dick Tracy had more medical practice in its plot than modern Rex Morgan?
Also, woot, runner-up!
One-eyed Wolfdog
May 4th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
Time for me to disappear for a bit. TTFN!
Mrs Threeway Taint
May 4th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
Sparkle Plenty is Jimmy Buffett’s pet howler monkey…
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 4th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
Very nice roundup of COTW’s. I never in a million years would have thought to Joyce-ify Apartment 3G, so word to Uncle Lumpy.
commodorejohn
May 4th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
#6 Angry Kem – KEM!!! How ya been!? They finally let you out of the grading dungeon, huh?
Angry Kem
May 4th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
#11 commodorejohn: There is no light in the grading dungeon. Hanging on the walls are the mortal remains of sentences slaughtered cruelly by uncaring foes. Misused semi-colons skitter across the dank floor. How very happy I am to be free.
Poteet
May 4th, 2009 at 11:02 pm
# 12 Angry Kem — May you long enjoy the sunlight while your former shackles rust away.
sugarpie
May 4th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
Congratulations to Little Bunne, Melissa G, Commodore, One-eyed W-D, Thurston, Winky’s and of course, Uncle Lumpy (how ya doing Unc? Still got that twitching eye and stutter you left here with?).
The week has been pretty funny.
Roto13
May 4th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
I love how Dick Tracy’s art was so much better then but it was STILL really, really bad.
I think I pulled something laughing at the “Apartment 3-G spot” comment.
Poteet
May 4th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
And apparently the editors of GLANCE Magazine didn’t realize that sexing human babies is fairly easy.
Amanda M
May 4th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
Congratulations guys! I am so happy for you all and not at all bitter. It’s not like I’m jealous that you are all so much funnier than I am. I’m totally okay with that! Excuse me, I have to do some crying- er, I mean, laughing at Josh’s commentary! ;-)
Poteet
May 4th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
A funny week indeed — 34 featured comments, with A3G and FW figuring most prominently. You floaters made the most of great material!
Poteet
May 4th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
# 17 Amanda M — There, there. It’s okay. Just have a swig or bite of something comforting. That’s what I do when I don’t get on the float. Week after week after week.
Muffaroo
May 4th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
These comments are a tribute to how funny it’s possible to be without being me. There should be a book of these things, but I somehow suspect it would be sort of hard to get permission to publish the relevant excerpts from all the crucifixion victims involved. Well done, most of you! (I’m showing my critical discernment by pretending that one of these messages was less humorous than the others. Let’s see how many people are impressed!)
mollificent
May 4th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Amanda…maybe we can form a “Not Quite Funny Enough” support group. ;)
Then again, my recent postings have been something like once every two weeks. As they say, you gotta play to win, eh?
Muffaroo
May 4th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
I’m not surprised people remember Sparkle Plenty. She was a national sensation (note the generic baby doll shown next to the full version of the strip, which has been made into a Sparkle Plenty doll by simply putting her into a garment with “SPARKLE PLENTY” proudly blazoned on it), and she stayed in the strip as she got older, and eventually married Junior, who must have been at least 25 when she was born.
That makes B.O. and Gertie in-laws-in-law to Dick Tracy. It’s kind of odd they still call him “Mister.”
Mac
May 4th, 2009 at 11:56 pm
Wow. So we’ve found a baby that’s almost as creepy as Marvin.
Lisa
May 5th, 2009 at 12:11 am
I never get on the list either, so I am glad to have company down here in the dungeon…. ;o)
True Fable
May 5th, 2009 at 12:30 am
Yay and congrats to Lil Bunne FooFoo and all the worthy float riders! Good bounteous snarking by all. You deserve the very best!
bats :[
May 5th, 2009 at 12:45 am
Toosday Toons!
FC: nope, not going there.
FW: okay, everyone who’d rather see Les gettin’ it on with Cayla / Summer and Cayla’s daughter gettin’ it on / Dead Lisa and Masky McDeath gettin’ it on / Wally Winkerbean being blown to Kingdom come, rather than yet another week of Economic Crisis, raise your hands!
MT: stand by for pure punching appreciation!
(Nice illustration of Mark in Panel 2, btw)
MW: here’s your big break, Adrian. Agree with old Pops that it was HIS fault he didn’t start the background check sooner, and recoup your $50K from him!
Mary is reduced to fish-stick sammiches!
Mutts: commodorejohn, is “ball crazy” = “ax crazy”? We have yet another candidate!
(dis is cute, too!)
Phantom: smarter than he looks!
(Diana’s loungewear is pretty chic, too.)
RMMD: remember the last thread’s discussion on you-know-who’s possible you-know-what kind of orientation? There’s a simple explanation how rumors get started:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3503586038/
True Fable
May 5th, 2009 at 12:45 am
What has the Snark Fairy brought us tonight?
Cathy (Must Die) I wouldn’t get so high and mighty about thinking your mother is insane, Irving. I mean, look at you – you married Cathy. You’re a fucking LOON.
All Hammy, All the Time NOOOOOO!
Canadian Zombie Elly looks gobsmacked because …. hell if I know, she’s mangled everyone’s name in the strip and none of that was a big deal. Honesty, what gives.
Lynnie Baby,
Yes it’s been a long time since you’ve heard from me, O little Tundra Dropping of the Great White North. Darlin’, your spasmic little mind is about as underbaked as a bowl of butter tart dough. I do not pretend to understand why Elly cannot seem to function like a normal human being, and then I realized – I don’t really care! :) This is all a part of your fevered attempt to gain sympathy from this Red Hott Fable and baby, it just didn’t work. Retire, my little prune dip. It’s for the best because you should know by now, The Fable is Not For You.
Truman A. Fable
Psychologist to the truly disfunctional
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
May 5th, 2009 at 12:49 am
Hey, I’m on top of the float! Hey diddle dee! (I was looking for an interjection I hadn’t used before, and I figured that one was pretty safe.)
Congrats to the fellow floaters, and also, Angry Kem @ 6: *SNORT*!
mollificent
May 5th, 2009 at 1:03 am
The good news is, when True Fable lavishes cute goat photos upon the float riders, everyone wins! :D
Signing off before I’m tempted to read tomorrow’s comics…
Reepicheep-chan
May 5th, 2009 at 1:20 am
Yey, I managed to make the list! ^.^
I had a good feeling about my funny that day.
Poteet
May 5th, 2009 at 1:26 am
5/5
S-M — Huh. I remember reading about Electro’s former career as a lineman, but I don’t remember anything about prison.
MW — How does Jeff do</i) that with his right hand? How does he make the index finger hide so coyly behind the other fingers? I thought only Mary had the minor satanic powers.
Cool not Cold
May 5th, 2009 at 1:27 am
MW: Gosh, Adrian’s all ankles pulled up on the couch cozy with her doctor daddy a la “Father Knows Best” already. Isn’t he going to at least berate her for…stupidity that makes the family look bad? For losing $50K? This is what happens when Mary isn’t meddling!
Poteet
May 5th, 2009 at 1:30 am
# 31 — I’m going to bed, and when I wake up, I’ll remember that when using italics, one must close them. Sheesh.
And I don’t understand why Elly looks so gob-smacked in the finale of ReFoob, but then I don’t really care.
t007
May 5th, 2009 at 1:31 am
I still have DT creepy memories of them floating about in those buckets. Cringe!
True Fable
May 5th, 2009 at 1:33 am
Cavepersons Made me laugh!
Dennis the HOLY SHIT HE DID IT Mr. Wilson finally dropped his pants, just like he said he would yesterday. What the HELL is the kid doing in a bathroom with his half-dressed neighbor?
Children of the Circle Ask Mr. Wilson.
Generic Love Herb goes for the cheap feel.
Scenes from Suburban Hell Granted, I usually read comics to forget about the world’s woes, but Suburban Hell is so fraught with despair and built-in misery, reading yet another comic take on the economic crisis is actually looking UP in their world.
Randy Parker, GQ model A little something for the ladies!
Bradann Geez. She left you so much to work with, and commenting about her weight was the best you could do?!? Die a virgin, kid.
Fist O Justice Theater Act Five in our little drama, ‘the calm before the violent beatdown.’ Uh oh. Mark is smiling; that means his fist is startin’ to itch.
Meddling Heights Waitaminnit! Dr. Jeff is getting a transmission from the planet Daylatedollarshort.
Kit Walker, Kreskin Ranger You put entirely too much trust in word balloons, Kit.
RMMW “You should have told Mom what you were doing with Willy….she’d have given you pointers and a key to the garage!”
S4th The musical cupcakes. Ces, I bow to you; you’re crazier than I am.
Spider- ReFoob WHAT THE HELL?! Didn’t this guy just now become Electro, didn’t we just see that happen a few miserably tedious weeks ago? And who the hell is Uncle Henry, when did he show up? Why do I bother with this piece of shit strip, anyway?
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
May 5th, 2009 at 1:33 am
Wow, hey, congratulations to all for a super funny week… and lookit, I’m on the float! Hurrah! What a grand view!
Ye Olde Dick Tracy is truly terrifying stuff. Aside from the freakish baby and sundry inbred humans, what’s with Tess’s headless decolletage on the top right? Didn’t anyone look at that and say, You know, Chester, that’s kind of weird…
Poteet
May 5th, 2009 at 1:35 am
# 27 Sir Fable MTK — Wow. That’ll teach me to read your ReFoob comments before writing mine. On the other hand, this is evidence that we share a strange psychic bond. Good night, knight.
bats :[
May 5th, 2009 at 1:35 am
31. Poteet: see what happens to your post when you question the phalangeal abilities of Mary and her minions o’ evil?
(Yeah, I was wondering the same thing, only I kept such musings to myself.)
Uncle Lumpy
May 5th, 2009 at 1:47 am
#14 sugarpie –
And the limp. I will never forget our special night.
It's time to pay the price
May 5th, 2009 at 1:52 am
congrats all
I’m beginning to doubt my funniness though. I thought french was funny, isn’t french funny?
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
May 5th, 2009 at 1:58 am
#14 sugarpie, #39 Uncle Lumpy: Classic exchange. It is to laugh.
H&J: That’s right, guys, hugging is perfectly acceptable as long as you keep the gentlemans’ jumbly bits well apart.
BenG
May 5th, 2009 at 1:58 am
FW: Seriously Holly, how dare you use a word that can be construed as positive in Westview!
Terryfic
May 5th, 2009 at 2:03 am
MW — When did Jeff become an amputee? I don’t remember him losing his legs.
MissE
May 5th, 2009 at 2:12 am
Winky’s Spleen, you’re my COTW!
Festooned Dragoon
May 5th, 2009 at 2:14 am
Oh my goodness, Tommie’s phone tootles! And, since she wasn’t able to identify it by its ringtone, Margo’s phone must tootle too! I sincerely, desperately hope they do so with a British accent.
Sparky AKA Able Bodied Seaman Craggy Fjord
May 5th, 2009 at 2:52 am
Tuesday the 5th.
Re: All Too Human: Aside to the Jesse – avoid the poop joke as it’s too direct. Are these chimps related to baby Milo and our future Simian overlords? The strips are good – backgrounds and better continuity would make them better.
A3G: Margo has Tommie’s phone!
DT: Juan Ayed Jacques has seen better days.
FW: Happy days are here again!
MT: Is the arc done? Is it Fist of Justice time?
MW: Adrian is so going to be doing the detective.
Sally Forth: Must be good drugs …
… Sleep beckons
Mr. O'Malley
May 5th, 2009 at 2:53 am
MT: I’m waiting for the villain to tell Mark “punch me and I’ll shoot this dog!” I can’t imagine them coming up with a better plan.
Phantom: In the last few adventures the Ghost Who is Henpecked has had a encounter with the ghost of Beryl Markham (admittedly that was on Sundays), come up with a previously unknown cure for ebola and relocated lizard people to the Gulf of Mexico, whence they will soon find their way through the Panama Canal, and, with any luck, move north to colonize Santa Royale. Yet a computer-controlled ship is odd?
Pluggers: Mrs Chicken? You’d better get a converter box this month!
ZtP: Th’ new concept is an improvement.
Welcome back, Angry Kem, I thought of you when I stumbled on this medieval comics reference. And Mountain Mama also!
45. Festooned Dragoon. You reminded me of another British-accented “tootle” joke. But as it’s too difficult to put into text, I’ll replace it with
A divinity student named Tweedle
Refused to accept his degree
He said, it’s bad enough being Tweedle
Without being Tweedle D.D.
Amanda M
May 5th, 2009 at 2:58 am
Thank you 19 and 21! I have eaten an entire chocolate rabbit and can now appreciate life again. ;-)
Alfred E. Neuman
May 5th, 2009 at 3:22 am
#17 Amanda M— The greatest satisfaction in making a Curmudgeonly contribution to this site is the intrinsic joy of doing so. Being recognized by others is just frosting on the cake. In my own case, after 17 months of often lame snarkage, I am still loving it. Indeed, I have now reached the highest plane of Curmudgeon intrinsic motivation: complete and utter floatlessness.
So keep on snarkin’!
Zaq
May 5th, 2009 at 3:29 am
A few early Tuesday remarks…
Those Two Guys: So, they like to bang, but not cuddle. Guess they deserve each other. That shared (one might even say twinned) look of feigned innocence on their faces just cements things. You know they’re about a second and a half away from generic, nonspecific man-sex.
S-M: The topography of that kid’s lips mesmerizes and terrifies me. Please tell me I’m not the only one.
Zombie: Oy, weren’t the muppet mouths bad enough? We have to have muppet eyes too? Dammit, Lynn!
DT: Spluck? Spluck! SPLUCK! I love it! SPLUCK! I mean, this is just one or two details away from being the Platonic ideal of Dick Tracy. Totally unnecessary or baffling narration box? Check. Gruesome and mildly ironic carnage? Check. Horrible pun for the villain’s name? Check. Delightful and unprecedented sound effect? Check! All we need is Tracy making some dry comment as he watches in wide-eyed glee. Frankly, though, for SPLUCK, I’m willing to ignore that, how about you?
MW: Good hell, what is Jeff’s hand? Seriously, what is it? Not what is it doing, what IS it?!
RMMD: Oh Rex. You and your faces.
SalFo: While I feel the same way most of the time, I can’t help but contrast this with Sunday’s strip…
AJGLU3K: The dark wizard Jughead, with his spellbook and magic robes, has begun warping the faces of the students around him, starting with the lip-like protrusions on the girl in the foreground.
True Fable
May 5th, 2009 at 4:18 am
I tried holding my fingers the way Dr. Jeff is doing today, and I got a bigass cramp in my hand as a result. These people are from another planet.
I’m sure that His Immensity, Galactic Emperor Chennux, has a dossier on these Charterstone creatures somewhere among his potatoes or syrup bottles. Oh ,Your Majesticness! A little magmacannoning is in order!
True Fable
May 5th, 2009 at 4:28 am
Now that Jughead’s hawked the Snuggie, it’s only a matter of time before the AJGLU3K brings in Sham-Wow Vince and his Nut Chopper!
What next? Billy Mays guest starring in Mark Trail in a monumental shout-off?
True Fable
May 5th, 2009 at 4:33 am
Read yesterthread’s One-Panel Tweakage, buddy.
True Fable
May 5th, 2009 at 4:57 am
So Dennis’s main claim to menace is to point and laugh at Mr. Wilson’s shrinky dink? MenaceWatch2009 does not award you points, kid, but we do recommend you tell your parents the old boy finally dropped his pants after all.
gleeb
May 5th, 2009 at 6:41 am
Is it OK to say something about saying something about The Strip That Must Not Be Named? Because it’s with a sense of wistful regret that I realize I’ll no longer comment on it and on Dick Tracy on the same day, calling them Duck and Dick, respectively. Yes, I am easily amused.
OK, enough of wistfulness; I’m over it.
Lio: Wow, mistaking “mummy” for “mommy”! Truly, Lio is the freshest thing in the funny papers. Also, it never relies on signs and text to get its silent message across.
Brenda: Or maybe she only speaks Gujarati, Ms Foreigner.
Archie: Cammie the Cameo-Girl is frankly a little frightened of this caftan-wearing Jughead.
Dennis: A small boy commenting on one’s figure while one stands, trouserless, in one’s bathroom? Yeah, that’s menacing.
Dick: Man, I was so close. I thought Eyejack was going to be impaled on the wheel.
Du-: Aw, heck.
Edge City: Following the rules of sensible investing vs. creative financial planning. Guess which wins. More and more, the diorama can be seen to be an anomaly in a sea of rule-following blandness.
Get Fuzzy: So it begins. First the animals talked to him. Now they talk about abstract concepts. Soon they will be taken as channels to God, and command him to cleanse the Earth of the unwashed ones. Fortunately, this guy never leaves his apartment, so all it’ll mean is scrubbing the mildew from the bathroom tile.
Sarber, man of wrath!: Having established ex-judge Parker as being financially well-off, they can only bring in another old codger to complain of having been cheated. I hope he doesn’t move in with Sam and Abbey.
Mary: Dr Jeff keeps a basket of tennis balls at the ready at all times.
mordock999
May 5th, 2009 at 6:48 am
Today’s Luann 05/05/09
ENJOY today’s romantic moment, Brad.
Its all going to come to a Screeching HALT when Momma DeGroot BURSTS thru the door….,
________________________
DEATH to TJ!
Brick Bradford
May 5th, 2009 at 8:07 am
DT: I thought “spluck” might just be the greatest sound effect in the history of the comics.
A3G: Until Tommie’s cell phone went “tootles”.
Phantom: Stripey Butt’s guide to domestic bliss.
MW: The next arc will be Mary’s existential crisis, brought on by the fact that two people she knows managed to solve a problem without her. This is the end of Mary Worth as we have known her.
crazyjerseygirl
May 5th, 2009 at 8:33 am
For Uncle Lumpy, RE: COTW
There are plenty of bad fiction contests out there, The Imitation Hemmingway contest
The Faux Faulkner contest
and perhaps most famously, The Bulwer-Lytton contest.
Perhaps you (or someone with web savvy) should start a comics-themed bad fiction contest. Of course now that I know what it would have been like to have Joyce (i think it was joyce) write Apt. 3G there is no turning back.
~Crazy
wanders
May 5th, 2009 at 8:38 am
Am I the only one who finds Jeff’s obscene gesture disconcerting?
wanders
May 5th, 2009 at 8:39 am
MW: Am I the only one who finds Jeff’s obscene gesture disconcerting?
wanders
May 5th, 2009 at 8:39 am
Grrr. Double post. Sorry about that.
buckyswife
May 5th, 2009 at 8:46 am
MT: “I wonder who they are? And hey, there’s a dark-haired boy there with a neckerchief–you sure don’t see too many of those on kids nowadays! Pretty much just Rusty, in fact. And he has a tan dog. I’ve never seen a dog that color, except Sassy. And the two men? Why, they look remarkably like the two guys in the picture Rusty took! Wow, I’m going to have to tell Cherry about this remarkable coincidence. Well, fella, we’d better continue to look for Rusty!”
SM: Wait–I thought that we witnessed Dillon’s transformation into Electro within the context of this story? Now we learn it happened earlier and he was in prison since then? sputter sputter…. I’m pretty perturbed that the plot of Spiderman is leaving me in the dust.
A3G: Tootle. Tootle tootle tootle. (Sadly, that’s going to be running through my head, Zippy-like, all day now.)
Angry Kem: Welcome back–are you done grading? I finished my last research essay late last night. Now it’s all over except the grade calculations–and the tears, of course.
temujin
May 5th, 2009 at 8:51 am
Sparkle Plenty? I think I…uh… “watched” a movie with her in it last night.
Joey Chicago
May 5th, 2009 at 8:57 am
Croc: I laughed at today’s Croc.
DtM: Mr. Wilson must have pulled down his pants.
H&L: I actually really like the metaphor that Hi’s friend is using for the economic situation. It’s probably stolen, but I like it.
Luann: Alternate ending text: “Toni, you’re fat.”
MW: That’s right, man. Keep hovering over your vulnerable, vulnerable daughter.
Popeye: Popeye just bought a lot of weed.
S-M: These close ups on Electro and Electryke are terrible.
ignatz
May 5th, 2009 at 9:14 am
PBS: Where’s Lio?
Is the Houston Chronicle done? Or did they just fail to update today?
Jaime M.
May 5th, 2009 at 9:24 am
Either my venti triple-shot hasn’t kicked in yet or I’m too stupid for today’s “Bizarro.” Anyone care to explain it to me?
Turgid Gloppage
May 5th, 2009 at 9:25 am
Want to know how to make a funny, funny strip? The mere mention of a current technology, of course! Bonus points if you drag that out over a week long story arc! Woo hoo! This internet thing and its dial-up service! Ha ha! Oh, text messaging and its silly abbreviations! The hilarity! Blogs! Waaay funny! Twitter – OMG, that name is just a comedic gift from heaven!
DtM: Dennis is peeking up Mr. Wilson’s bathrobe. Menacing? Not much. Disgusting? More so.
As for serial strips, I propose the following modifications:
Dick: Replace all attempts at coherent plot and only show bodies falling through space amidst a shower of glass shards on to wide eyed civilians in panic below. For a change of pace, you may show some of these bodies landing in hideous fashion.
A3G: Margo, Margo, Margo. When Margo is not present, make the available characters say “Where’s Margo?” Today’s installment is fine. the phone rings, and Margo is pissed that it may be for someone else. All phone calls should be routed to Margo.
Re-Foob: Replace this strip with empty space. No more cloying youngsters. No more story lines about the agony of St. Elly. No more Elly and friend griping about how insensitive men are and why don’t more men come around asking for Elly’s tragically single friend.
Rex Moron: Replace this strip with an endless array of ambiguously gay dialogue. No one notices any change. Today, Rex really gets interested when Sarah mentions Guido. What was Guido doing in that secret snack room? Having a tryst behind my back? Er, someone else’s back?
Flunky Loserbean: Les’s and Cayla’s daughters are in competition for the same basketball scholarship. Dead Lisa helps out by sitting on the hoop, assisting her daughter and smacking away the balls from Cayla’s daughter. Then it turns ugly…
Turgid Gloppage
May 5th, 2009 at 9:29 am
Spidey: The kid knew he was Electro, the uncle knew, Spidey knew… Why bother with the mask, dude?
How did all these people find out? Cell phones! Text messaging! Blogs! Tweets! See? Spiderman knows that tek-now-liggy thing.
Angry Kem
May 5th, 2009 at 9:31 am
#62 buckyswife: Yep. I marked so much that my eyesight deteriorated noticeably, but at last, I am done. The grades went in yesterday. The last plagiarism meeting was also yesterday, and since the student didn’t bother showing up, it was not difficult.
I am sometimes tempted to go all Margo on my plagiarising students. Instead of simply inviting them in for meetings and gently coaxing them to admit to academic fraud, I would belabour them with my umbrella until they begged for mercy.
Turgid Gloppage
May 5th, 2009 at 9:33 am
Brad: Gee, I would’ve figured her ass would have been as supple as a marshmallow, but it was hard as metal.
Luann: Wanna know why Toni is so heavy? She’s a fem-bot.
Brad: Jealous much, sis?
Luann: Just trying to stay relevant in my own strip.
Luann: Ok, jealous a little. Wanna squeeze my ass? It’s soft as two down pillows.
Mel
May 5th, 2009 at 9:52 am
Holy Leslie Nielsen! How did that get on the float?
I thank Uncle Lumpy for the inspiration and Francis Marion for reaching out beyond the grave to provide an earworm.
And now here’s another:
http://www.otrcat.com/comic-weekly-p-2131.html
Turgid Gloppage
May 5th, 2009 at 9:59 am
MT: A few story lines back, Mark punched an ex-friend so hard that it shook the facial hair clean off his chin. Maybe Mark will punch these hairless creeps so hard that whiskers will suddenly shift from the tops of their heads to the bottoms. Or, he could just throw them through a huge window overlooking a casino – either way works for me.
The strip that dare not be named: Must also not be commented on. Aaarrgh! But it’s killing me! I must say something about that guy and that character and their viewpoint! Josh, do you not understand that someone is wrong on the internet?
FC: Daddy is always talking about blowing, too. Then Mommy says “Blow it out your ass!”
MW: I love Dr. Jeff’s finger of indignation. Nothing says “Told ya so!” as one of those. There was an old woman in this strip once. She used to wave that self righteous finger around. Wonder what ever happened to her…
Oh, and happy Gringo de Mayo, everyone!
Brock Sampson
May 5th, 2009 at 9:59 am
#66: say it out loud, progressively faster: OWAH – TAGU – SIAM. It is an old joke.
commodorejohn
May 5th, 2009 at 10:08 am
A3G – Hee hee, “tootle.”
Archie – Huh, looks like Cammie the foreground girl has got braces for some reason. Anyway, the syndicate can put a “snuggie” joke on it if they like, but we all know that the ALGJU3K discovered either a transvestitism fetish site, or a cult homepage.
AS – Holy mother of God, an actually funny Argyle Sweater that is drawn fairly well, not drowned in verbiage, and (apparently) not stolen from a better strip. This has to be a sign of the end times.
A.D. – I’ve said it before, but I really enjoy Mason’s take on B.C. Today’s is a good example of how to do a mildly dirty joke subtly, without beating into the ground that HA HA THIS IS RACY.
BB – I know I shouldn’t even be bothering, but I am baffled by this whatsit. I mean, we’ve got…a Trouble popper, an old plunger-style reset button, a frequency tuner, three lights, a pair of rabbit ears, and…a hole to stick something in? Okay, maybe I don’t want to know.
Blondie – Sorry, Dag, but cartoon characters whose lives have not changed discernably in seventy-some years are not allowed to comment on current events.
BrS – “Braaaiiiinnnsss…”
Crankshaft – Please, mister foreshadowed burglar, kill her. Please. I wouldn’t shed any tears if her son got offed in the scuffle, either.
DT – Physical plausibility takes a back seat to SPLUCK.
Luann – I’d just like to point out that if Brad didn’t sustain more than moderate injuries from being caught between her and the ground, she sure as hell wouldn’t have died without him there (I mean, seriously. She fell like, eight feet.) So no, he didn’t save her life. She’s just saying that because relationships in this strip are completely unable to progress without external impetus to provide “drama.” I mean, not that there’s going to be any progress anyway, but without some
dramatic tensiondangerum…events…to force them along, we wouldn’t even see the wheels spinning. ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING STIMULUS-RESPONSE PLOTS ALREADY, SOMEBODY GET SOME GODDAMN BACKBONE HERE.MW – Hey, wow, Adrian finally figured out that two plus two is four! Way to go!
MC – I like this guy.
PBS – I would.
Phantom – You know, they really are one of the more likeable and convincing married couples in the funnies, along with Arlo and Janis and the Forths.
RMMD – “You should have told Mom what you were doing with Willy!” Meanwhile, Rex thinks “hmm…Guido…”
ribinin
May 5th, 2009 at 10:09 am
Angry, grade-saturated and yet snarky Kem: It is, belatedly, and, also good to see you back; although probably not yet fully detoxed from the tedium of, at least from the graders POV, reading and, trying to make cents out of all the papers that the students, (in the broadest sense of the word, although one can speculate on how serious they are about learning (why do we even try, as they say in the trade) even as they are really stalling for time until they, probably unsuccessfully search for meaning, and or a direction in their lives, although after school they COULD move back home for awhile) wrote.
Cranky
May 5th, 2009 at 10:13 am
So many great ones, but Steve S., you’re a genius. Or incredibly sick. Probably both.
tb4000
May 5th, 2009 at 10:13 am
Luann: Brad, you are finally acting sarcastically pimp, like most guys trying to woo a girl should. Too bad it’s too little, too late, and Toni is going to get a train run on her after she leaves your bedside.
Shermy Glamrocker
May 5th, 2009 at 10:16 am
Alas, despite both of my votes from different computers (sticking it to the MAN!), our newspaper has dropped both Mary Worth and Rex Morgan M.D. right in the middle (near the beginning? Just before the end? It’s hard to tell) of their current story lines.
They also dropped Mutts, but added Non Sequitur and Bliss while keeping craptastic strips such as Cathy and Foob.
Sigh.
Bob Weber Jr.
May 5th, 2009 at 10:17 am
Bad news from Phoenix. The Arizona Republic slashed six strips from their Sunday comics. Unfortunately Slylock Fox is one of the six. If you would like to voice a complaint or comment you can do it here — http://seeingredaz.wordpress.com/2009/05/04/the-arizona-republic-hitting-you-where-it-hurts/#comment-25668
Thanks.
Hibbleton
May 5th, 2009 at 10:18 am
Marmaduke eats an appetizer before devouring a poodle for the main meal. Nothing unusual there. The question is: why is there a dog in blackface looking over the fence? Are Dottie and Hitler husband putting on a minstrel show later in the evening? Those wacky Aryans!
Muffaroo
May 5th, 2009 at 10:30 am
9CL – She grows up to become Rose Gumbo, right?
Archie – Cammie seems to be biting her lip today. She’d better watch it, or she’ll develop a character.
AD – “I guess I’m like a turtle / Livin’ underneath my horny little shell…” –Janis Joplin
C2Home – Gary has a tough job, trying to look discernibly distorted in McPherson’s world.
DTracy – One-Eyed Jack looks like he fell out of a Dennis the Menace strip in the first panel. Even as Tracy falls, his mind is racing, thinking of witty post-mortem comments. “Looks like you gambled and lost, Jack!” No, too predictable. “Rough deal for you, Jack!” Naw, too contrived. “I think Jack’s spluck has run out!” Hang onto that for now, and see what else comes along. Maybe he’ll lose an arm! That has possibilities.
FBasset – Be Sirius, Jock!
HtHorrible – Ho ho! Today it is the lady of the castle who is being just So Inappropriate! To paraphrase Johnny Carson, Hagar just breaks me up with his joke!
H&Jamaal – Ah, jitterbuggery! “Well all right! ” “Well all reet!” “Well all root!”
Seriously, there’s a disturbance in the Force, as if thousands of Photoshoppers suddenly reached for their graphics tablets.
comic – comment
MTrail – “There’s Rusty. HI, RUSTY! Now, there goes a cute kid.”
Marfield – “Then he said, ‘If my dog looked like you, I’d shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards!’ And then I said, ‘Well, if I did that with my dog, he would look like you!’ And then I got to wondering, and it turns out he looks like that Jamaal guy.”
Sequitur
May 5th, 2009 at 10:31 am
#26 bats:[ – Are you implying that Rex was playing with his Willy? (Hah. Make you look!)
Muffaroo
May 5th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Marfield – Today’s very special episode breaks new ground in the exciting field of jokes about animals crapping.
Wait. Too subtle. LOOK! That dog’s CURLING ONE DOWN! He’s THROTTLING A MARS BAR! He’s GIVING BIRTH TO A BROWN TROUT! He’s LAYING A CLUTCH OF DOG EGGS!
Pluggers – Pluggers paint eyeballs on their glasses to people will think they’re alive. (And a big Brookins tip of the Brookins hat to his mom or his wife or whoever Janet is. Now that he’s home every day, we’ll be seeing more of these.)
PCity – That’ll teach Dianne Feinstein to bug the American people!
R=R – Oh, look. It’s how pluggers twitter. God, isn’t brain damage hilarious?
SForth – Strange, we’re back to delirium, only here, it’s funny. Is it because I don’t actually want these characters to die a horrible death?
ZZZ – It is said that if Ziggy, Zippy, and Zits are ever all funny on the same day, the world will end. I think we owe Mr. Wilson a great big thank you today.
True Fable @35 – Don’t be so dismissive of Uncle Henry! That means the dream is ending, and we’re going to be back in Kansas, and Spidey and Electro will just turn out to have been two of the farm hands. There’s no place like home! There’s no place like home!
time to pay @40 – Is this about the float? It’s possible to be really funny and not make the float. There aren’t but just so many positions, after all. Keep saying this, and you’ll be as well adjusted as I am.
Jaime M @66 – That’s your new mantra. Just say “Owah, Tagoo, Siam” over and over until enlightenment comes to you. Say it faster. Say the words closer together. Say it out loud in front of grade school kids.
Les of the Jungle Patrol
May 5th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Re 73: Oh what a goose I am? I think I’m too dim for this joke (in today’s Bizarro: OWAH- TAGU- SIAM). Can somebody just spell it out for me?
Zaq
May 5th, 2009 at 10:41 am
84 Les otJP: You got it right. It’s not that funny. I remember distinctly rolling my eyes at my dad when he told me that joke when I was four.
Uncle Ritzy Fritz
May 5th, 2009 at 10:41 am
Thanks for the ride (and the edit) Josh, and congrats to all my funny fellow floaters. Also:
Ancient Dick (fully extended version): This is so confusing to me. I’m not sure if, in the immortal words of Peter Marshall, the panels are supposed to be read “across, up and down, or diagonally” to make any sense, but I do note that B.O. Plenty appears to hang out on “Ecstacy Lane”. Maybe Ol” Chester was ahead of his time with more than just the two way wrist radio. Sure would explain a lot.
Sequitur
May 5th, 2009 at 10:42 am
Zippy the P: I actually liked this one. Anytime you mention Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers, is fine with me.
Winky's Spleen
May 5th, 2009 at 10:42 am
#66, 73, 84 – Man, a reader should NOT have to work so hard for a joke so lame.
Trogdor
May 5th, 2009 at 10:46 am
Well, the Washington Post finally acknowledged (at least implicitly) what was said here weeks ago. Agnes is not a kid’s strip. They just returned Agnes to the regular comics page and moved Frazz over to the Kid’s Page. A slight;y better fit, at least.
Winky's Spleen
May 5th, 2009 at 10:48 am
Trogdor #89 – Huh. Frazz may have some well-developed kid characters, but I can’t say I can see it as a kid’s strip. Oh well.
CanuckDownSouth
May 5th, 2009 at 10:49 am
What is it with duck obsessions in comics? No, I don’t mean the Scottish Comic, I mean Mini-Mark Trail. You live in the middle of this huge forest refuge, and you aspire to pretty pictures of ducks? Ducks are bog-standard – there’s a mallard nesting pair that hangs out in my apartment’s parking lot.
Not eagles, or falcons, let alone bears or some rare endangered owl. Ducks? That’s how square the Trails are, you don’t need dark energy, they themselves flatten the curvature of spacetime
Now off to finish prepping the exams to proctor tomorrow and Friday, and only then do I even get to enter Grading Purgatory… I got fresh pens for my Foob-fic because I’m sure I’ll need to draw to de-stress
Winky's Spleen
May 5th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Oh, and I hadn’t checked out Agnes before. I’m glad Marcie from Peanuts was able to get a new gig after Mr. Schulz passed on.
Sequitur
May 5th, 2009 at 10:56 am
#91 CanuckDownSouth – I think the duck thing started with the Mark Brothers. Especially Groucho.
Old Doc Yak
May 5th, 2009 at 10:57 am
Phantom: Diana to hubby: “That Captain Savarna! She’s very odd! Don’t you agree?”
Says the woman living in the skull-cave to her purple-spandex-clad husband. Pot, meet kettle.
TheDiva
May 5th, 2009 at 10:57 am
Luann: Of course she doesn’t, you twit. That’s because she’s not wearing the heavy firefighter equipment that she had on when you caught her.
MW: Is…is Dr. Cory flipping off his daughter?
bats :[
May 5th, 2009 at 11:03 am
84. Les: as in “what a silly goose I must be!”, or something like that. Cripes, I haven’t heard this canard since I was in Girl Scouts, a gajillion years ago (but at least after Juliet Low founded the organization), and even then, you could only fool one kid per camp-session with it.
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 5th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Five-O de Mayo
A3G: Something tells me that leaving her phone out where Margo can reach it is going to be added to Tommie’s mile-long list of regrets.
H&J: Wow. Gayest three panels of the year so far. Sarge and Beetle need to up their game.
FB: “Well all right you are. But we all shine on, like the moon and the stars and the sun.”
EC: “I hate that broker so much I could shoot him dead. In fact, I think I’ll go down to the saloon and run the idea by a judge.”
DT: I hope Dick gives Eyejack a medal for Most Creative Gruesome Villain Death, because he really earned it today.
RMMD: “Well you may be leary about turning him on, but I have no problem with it. Oh. You said ‘in’, didn’t you?”
DtM: Dennis. In the bathroom. With Mr. Wilson. A half-naked Mr. Wilson. Excuse me for a minute. The room is spinning.
Agnes: “Start jiggling stuff”? Agnes may have some stuff to jiggle when she’s sixteen, but I’m not even real optimistic about that.
Luann: Given his injuries, shouldn’t Brad be too doped up to carry on a coherent conversation? Or at least what passes for one in this strip?
SFx: Cameo today by Count Weirdly’s more successful high school classmate. Who would have thought that Weirdly was senior valedictorian?
H&L: This is why no one wants to hang out with Thirsty when he’s sober.
FW: Becky looks justifiably pissed about her husband parsing every sentence for nonexistent grammar flaws. Maybe his master plan is to goad her into killing him before the cancer of the testiballs can spread.
Archie: Miss Grundy makes her stand and informs Jughead that while she can’t prevent him from attending Klan rallies, she’ll be damned if she’ll let him wear the robes in her class. Join us Sunday as a wise shop teacher (Morgan Freeman) shows Jughead the error of his hateful ways.
Little Guy
May 5th, 2009 at 11:12 am
Josh: Thanks to the Scary Baby Pics, expect a visit from Chris Hansen.
JP: Oh, how amusing. the Judge thinks that people who carry out verbal threats get punished.
This series is sure making the WaPo editors scratch their heads why there was such an outpouring of support of JP. Sort of like coming into the middle of a softporn flick where the guys are yakking as a bridge between “scenes”.
Little Guy
May 5th, 2009 at 11:15 am
9CL: Give it up, Edda. You’ll never be Charlotte Salt as Lady Ursula Misseldon.
Sequitur
May 5th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Whatagoose: When I was a kid Indians were the big thing (the “woo woo” kind, not the “Sahib” kind). Anything Indian was cool. If another kid was feeling a bit poorly, we’d concoct a story and tell him/her that we knew an incantation from an old medicine man that would help. Of course we’d have them repeating the goose thing. Man, that was hilarious. Now it’s trite and banal. However, a new generation can come along and use it and have their own kind of fun with it.
Sequitur
May 5th, 2009 at 11:24 am
DtM: That’s the Mitchell’s bathroom! Just what is Mr. Wilson doing standing around wearing a robe in the Mitchell’s bathroom? And why is Dennis in there with him? Why isn’t Ruff protecting him? Is Mrs. Mitchell waiting in the bedroom? This strip is getting more lurid all the time!
Muffaroo
May 5th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Winky’s Spleen @92 – Actually, she grew up years ago and has been working as Honey Huan in Doonesbury since, like, forever.
Jesse C
May 5th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
WOW!! Thanks Josh, I got a ton of hits last night and I was wondering where it came from. Thank you so much for posting, and thank you to everyone who voted!!!
Batman Beatles
May 5th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
DT – That baby is beyond disturbing.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
May 5th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Well hey – pop in here once in a while, spew some attempted wit – and win the silver medal, baby. Check’s in the mail, right? That is how this works, isn’t it?
Wait. You mean I’ve been giving away my brilliance…for nothing? Except the glory, that is? Not even any groupies (Dingo, if you’re still here: sorry, I’m not counting you)?
Uh, fuck you, pony?
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
May 5th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Ha ha – that was, of course, the evil Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener…from episode 157, “The Day We Roasted the Pattersons Alive” – you remember, don’t you? Myself, the real Gadge, I’m eternally grateful to you all, especially the judges, especially the judges of the swimsuit competition, especially…well, we can have some secrets, can’t we?
O.C.
May 5th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
A little more Sparkle Plenty craziness:
My mom had a Sparkle Plenty doll when she was a kid in the early 40s, but something about the rubber the body was made out of made it turn black. Creepy! Here’s a picture:
http://www.icollect247.com/itempage.php?uniqueid=12114
Harry Pothead
May 7th, 2009 at 10:47 am
What is the deal with Mr. Wilson wearing a robe that you tend to only see on Japanese women who are rubbing you down? Me thinks that the robe is a little too short for a man who prefers spending time in the bathroom with young boys…