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The Last Temptation Of Sophie

Judge Parker, 6/24/09

I know, I know: Judge Parker has been absolutely bonkers for the last month and I’ve been AWOL on it. To be honest, I’ve had a hard time coming to grips with just how I’m supposed to feel about the wacky tale of Sophie’s cheerleading coup, and the constellation of forces that are coming together to bring that about. I’ve been suspicious of her move to seize the cheerleading captaincy from the start, not least because of my experiences as a high school nerd and outcast. Because, when I was taunted and humiliated by socially elite members of the football team, I never dreamed of winning the quarterback’s position as a result of some complex calculus involving my heretofore undiscovered skills and my antagonists’ poor grades; I just wanted the football team to die, in a fire.

So anyway, I’ve been kind of hoping that Sophie would pull off some absurdist stunt at cheerleading tryouts that would completely undermine the legitimacy of cheerleading as an institution in the minds of her high school classmates. But instead now we are confronted with Sophie’s Long Study Hall Of Despair, when we learn that she really has wanted to cast off her lilac pantsuit all along and seize the mantle of Queen Bee of Whatever High. More to the point, she’ll presumably buck up after this little pep talk and manage to leap and twirl her way to improbable victory, with the support of her incredibly wealthy parents, two celebrities who are on her side because they want to purchase a horse from said wealthy parents for millions of dollars, and the school administration, proving that those nasty cheerleading moms are entirely correct in all their accusations.

Slylock Fox, 6/24/09

I’ve always assumed, based on the gross incompetence of most of his schemes, that Count Weirdly graduated dead last in his class at Mad Science Academy, and yet here he is at the controls of what appears to be a fully functional combination time machine/hover-bubble. Of course, I’d have a human factors engineer look at that control panel before he starts mass-manufacturing these for production — hope you enjoy your visits to the years 2, 9, 3, 27, 10, 6, 41, and 29, kids!

More troubling, though, is the sight of the Count and Slylock and Max laughing it up together as they voyage through time to snicker at a doomed race. Could their long-standing and constant animosity be a front for some deeper scheme or grift? Or did Weirdly first make a solo voyage to the past in order to change history and create a new timeline in which he and the detective team were best buds? It would be rather poignant if all he ever wanted in all his scheming was real friends.

The Lockhorns and Dilbert, 6/24/09

I couldn’t really tell you what these comics are supposed to mean, because Dilbert is using words I don’t understand and the Lockhorns is using phrases that I’m pretty sure the writer doesn’t understand, but I’m worried at the underlying implication, which is that the U.S. government, alarmed at declining tax revenues during the recession, is looking to audit high-earners and is targeting cartoonists. Faulty intelligence again, I’m afraid.

Beetle Bailey, 6/24/09

“Also, he shat himself, but I think that’s just because he was drunk.”

148 responses to “The Last Temptation Of Sophie”

  1. Sequitur
    June 24th, 2009 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    Ahh! I love the smell of new snark in the…evening?!

  2. Pete
    June 24th, 2009 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    Vigorish or the vig is what loan sharks call interest.

  3. Sequitur
    June 24th, 2009 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    JP: Panel three – What’s that crawling out of Sophie’s nose?

  4. Jon
    June 24th, 2009 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    Slylock and Max should be more concerned about that aggressively carnivorous sauropod!

  5. dyslexic dog
    June 24th, 2009 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

    I’ve never noticed before how much the IRS logo resembles a hand clutching at the money.

  6. Ignacio Nova
    June 24th, 2009 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    The I.R.S. in the bleak alternative universe that hosts the Lockhorns knows how to get jiggy with it!

  7. sugarpie
    June 24th, 2009 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    2, Pete Loansharks. Or bookies. Sort of the same thing I guess.

  8. Slylock Foxy
    June 24th, 2009 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    Look at that paternal smile on Slylock’s face as he puts his arm around little Max’s shoulders. I’ve never seen him look so happy. Weirdly’s nervous, dorkily endearing grin—he looks like the unpopular kid at school who thinks he’s made a friend at last—is the icing on the already heart-warming cake.

    Tomorrow: back to violent crime!

  9. Nekrotzar
    June 24th, 2009 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    Too bad the general’s accident didn’t involve that hand grenade he was playing with a few days ago.

  10. McSmeag
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    #3 Sequitur: Perhaps Sophie has decided her best chance at winning the top cheerleader spot is by growing a moustache? This seems slightly more plausible than by becoming an amorphous, shape-shifting blob creature that fills the entire panel, as she also appears to be doing here.

  11. Sequitur
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    10 McSmeag
    You may be right but personally, I think it’s Slylock Fox’s tail.

  12. AceDiamond
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    Actually I think Count Weirdly merely stole Superman’s Popemobile Go-Kart Time Machine, as seen here:

  13. Ukulele Ike
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, that “Wall o’ Sophie’s Face” in panel 3 made ME nervous, too, the first time I saw it. I didn’t even notice the nostril thing. Now that I look again, I think it may be a wayward earwig.

  14. Charterstoned
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    JP – WAY too much energy being put into this storyline on thwarted cheerleading aspirations.

  15. F. Cecious Lee
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    Football team dies in a fire. Cheerleaders have to compete for the attention of band geeks (especially the cool trombonists) and the science nerds (especially the trombonists). That was the dream. Sophie’s not invited.

  16. Poewar
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    There is just no way to make the phrase “shat himself” not funny.

  17. Kibo
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    I think all comic strips should adopt today’s “Judge Parker” format of having the punchline be “Surprise! We’ve used a giant hydraulic press to flatten your face into a giant rectangle!” I’d pay to see that happen in “Dennis The Menace”.

  18. Grace
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    So conditioner now makes your hair curly…?

  19. Sequitur
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    18 Grace
    Actually, his hair curled when he saw his wife was naked and walked in on him. He grabbed the conditioner and rubbed it in his eyes in an attempt to escape the vision he was seeing. This made him half blind. Note the way he’s squinting.

  20. Anonymous
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    I’m not sure what conditioner has to do with it, but it looks rather like the General gathered up some of Mrs. General’s short-hairs from the shower drain and glued them to his head and face. Now I want to gouge out my eyes. Thanks alot, Greg and Mort.

  21. Comrade Denny
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Gunk’s home island probably doesn’t even have money, or bosses, or rulers. They community itself probably makes sure everyone is fed, sheltered, and has meaningful work. Filthy anarchist bastards! You’re in America now, land of the free – free to starve or to get a job and surrender all your other freedoms! USA! USA!

    FC: “Well, honey. PJ’s going to stay that way forever because he was born without a pituitary, sort of like how you were born without a frontal lobe.”

    GT: Did Kensella’s replacement just bunt with her pelvis?

    Multiple Choice Plugger Quiz: Pluggers are (a) pudgy, (b) fat, (c) obese, (d) bloated sacks of protoplasm, (e) horrible, disgusting, proudly self-destructive people.

  22. One-eyed Wolfdog
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    “…think of it as our way of ‘keeping it real’. Speaking of which, we noticed you’ve reported your taxable income as 0.5+0.866I.”

  23. dasein668
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    Oops. Number 20 was me. Not that I probably need to take credit for that, actually. ::rolling eyes:: As you were.

  24. firebus
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    “So anyway, I’ve been kind of hoping that Sophie would pull off some absurdist stunt at cheerleading tryouts that would completely undermine the legitimacy of cheerleading as an institution in the minds of her high school classmates.”

    c.f. wigu:

  25. Sequitur
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    23 dasein668
    Yeah, we knew.

  26. One-eyed Wolfdog
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    There may be a surprising crossover bubbling up in JP – I’m nearly 100% certain that Sophie is turning into Choo-Choo Bear in the final panel there.

  27. Mibbitmaker
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    What’s crawling out of Sophie’s nose? Its shadow. the shadow nose! (*ducking like nobody’s business*)

  28. angus beef
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    I like to think of that panel of numbers on Weirdly’s HUD as modular. Combine them all to visit the not-so-distant 964132927210 AD! A fun game is to try to combine them to make historically relevant years: 2109 would be cool time to visit, no? Travel to 327 BC and watch Alexander the Great’s invasion of India, or read the very first Mary Worth comic!

    Or maybe it’s just a misguided Lost reference.

  29. Sequitur
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    27 Mibbitmaker
    Now that you’ve said that I don’t feel so bad about why I think that’s Slylock Fox’s tail coming out her nose. It’s because she was snorting cloak.

    (*Runs like hell.*)

  30. Canaduck
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

    Hey, what the hell is going on in that Slylock Fox panel?

    A pteranodon and a triceratops? Some kind of plesiosaur–or a carnivorous sauropod!!–eating an icthyosaur? And what the christ is that thing on the left supposed to be?

    What era IS this, Slylock? Are you visiting the Jurassic or the Cretaceous or what? As someone who demands total historical accuracy in my comics about anthropomorphic foxes and mice and…uh…counts who visit dinosaurs in their flying time machines, I am very disappointed.

  31. One-eyed Wolfdog
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    I wonder if Weber gets angry letters from creationists when he runs a panel like this.

  32. Medulla, Medulla Oblongata
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    So the IRS agent is like a bookie? Huh? That’s not ironic; that’s not knowing what words mean.

  33. Alan's Addiction
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    I don’t understand why Sophie’s goal of being a cheerleader is really that surprising or perplexing. After all, in the world of Judge Parker, all the women look like cheerleaders, and all the characters are incredibly wealthy and popular and… and basically, the adults all live the easy lives that shallow, vain teenagers dream of, so why shouldn’t their (the JP adult characters’) offspring actually become shallow and vain? It’ll prepare them for for adulthood.
    Although I’m not a paleontologist, I’d have to say that Count Weirdly’s “Time Machine” is actually another elaborate hoax, based on the sheer anatomical incorrectness of the “dinosaurs” they’re seeing. Seriously, Godzilla was a more plausible looking creature than those brutes – that’s just shoddy animatronics and a bad background. Back to the drawing board, Weirdly!
    I rather enjoy the look of bored, vaguely malevolent disdain as the Lockhorns watch their auditor… It’s rather reminiscent of lions watching an overweight antelope grazing.
    Today’s Dilbert shows us the dangers of reaching a solid punchline with a single panel left in the strip. Instead of ending on an interesting and witty observation, we’re left to ponder what I assume is a bizarre attempt at a pun.
    I have a single question for today’s Beetle Bailey: the general puts conditioner in his mustache?! Really? He looks after the mustache like it’s some sort of little outpost of regular hair? Does he blow dry it, too? Does he get it colored? If he finds himself unable to grow facial hair (a tragic condition known as “facial baldness,” or “Chronic Shaving Syndrome”) will he put Rogaine on it? Or is he merely a sad, demented old man who has lost the ability to distinguish between his head and his scalp? If so, do we really want him to command heavy artillery?

  34. Mibbitmaker
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    Archie: Squaretop, hope you like wacky hijinx in your store!

    Curtis: A tinsch?? (even if there’s a logical explanation for that word, why would someone like him say it?)

    Garfield: Tex Avery quits Warner Brothers over this one. Tex replied, “Well, here we go again!”

    GA: Who wrote this, Norm Crosby?

    Popeye: Jonathan Swift, he ain’t.

    ZtP: Out of the frying pan, into the fire.

    JP: Yikes! And I thought Dick Tracy had excessive close-ups!

  35. bats :[
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    When I saw today’s Slylock, I thought Slylock and Weirdly had come to some sort of detente. Three modern individuals arrive at the Trijurascretan Era…two modern individuals leave.
    Buck up, Max…maybe someone will find you encased in amber someday…

  36. Lisa
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    I think the joke is that the IRS is like a usurer of Dickensian proportions, thus the vigorish.

  37. Lisa
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    Not that it makes any real sense, but that is where they were heading, I think.

  38. Poteet
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    JP — Add me to the list of former geeky girls who never wanted to be a cheerleader, or date athletes, for that matter. I am so bored I want this storyline to die, in a fire.

  39. Poteet
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

    # 27 Mibbitmaker — BWAHAHA!

    I hate you.

  40. One-eyed Wolfdog
    June 24th, 2009 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

    Archie: Aisle 5 – Loose chicken carcasses, cooked drumsticks, and bananas. Often times, it’s the only aisle you need to visit.

    FW: “…what, you mean something more embarassing than being seen in public with you?”

  41. BigTed
    June 24th, 2009 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    I think the disreputable larger “entity” is supposed to be the U.S. government. And no, I don’t know when “Dilbert” turned into “Mallard Fillmore.”

  42. wagmore barkless
    June 24th, 2009 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    I know Sophie’s question was meant rhetorically, but I feel compelled to answer. I was a very geeky girl and I never, ever dreamed of being a cheerleader. Mainly I went around scowling at people who thought the library was an appropriate place for a lengthy conversation.

  43. It's time to pay the price
    June 24th, 2009 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    I don’t buy this “reformed” shtick of Wierdley’s at all. He’s probably just a ghost that has taken his form. He took Slylock and Max back to the very first Christmas to show them what the holiday spirit is truely about. When that
    Plesiosaur gave his favorite Icthyosaur to the Tyranosaur, it changed Slylock forever. He vowed to stop being so greedy and payed for Miniscule Max’s ADD treatment in full.

    Either that, or Wierdly is trying to set up some ridiculous alibi for when he’ll attempt to steal an orange from a fruit stand. It’s possible that this will also involve ghosts.

  44. Joe Blevins
    June 24th, 2009 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    I’m pretty sure Slylock & Co. are at Epcot. I rode that exact same ride when I was nine.

    JP: Didn’t Salvador Dali once have a half-moustace something like that, or am I misremembering…?

    DILBERT: You know when a standup comedian goes on a talk show and, instead of doing a set, just heads over to the couch and tries to pass off his act as “spontaneous” conversation, forcing the host to give him lame set-up lines? (“So I hear you’ve been doing some traveling lately…” “Funny you should mention that, Jay/Dave/Conan…”) That’s essentially what Scott Adams is forcing Dogbert to do here, pretending not to know what a tax audit is so that Generic IRS Man We’ve Never Seen Before can do two panels of lame schtick.

    Feh, I say.

  45. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 24th, 2009 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    #42 wagmore barkless,
    You got me thinking about what Sophie said. Yeah, lots of geeky girls could be cheerleaders if they had any interest in it. It’s just they’re not keen on acting as football team shills and having everyone’s dad stare at their panties. There are two strong possibilities here. One, Woody Wilson has a severe misunderstanding of the teen psyche. Two, Sophie is a geek the same way Iron Eyes Cody was an Indian.

  46. bitter law student
    June 24th, 2009 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    So the US government started using slang but did so in a comically awkward way by using the full Yiddish word rather than the more commonly known abbreviation? A mistake that could have been avoided by watching any number of mob movies or TV shows? Yeah, I’ll buy that.

  47. Lis
    June 24th, 2009 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    I’ve never noticed before the way Miss Buxley’s boobs spring forth from directly beneath her chin. Like a goiter. Now there’s an image.

  48. Three Owls
    June 24th, 2009 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: Slylock and Max use Count’s time machine, which also doubles as a live-action snowglobe, to visit the Land Before Proportion.

    Fun/Scary fact learned from today’s Beetle Bailey: General Halftrack shampoos his mustache. I wonder what other body hair saw the benefit of his wife’s conditioner. *shudder*

  49. Jess
    June 24th, 2009 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    “…with the support of her incredibly wealthy parents, two celebrities who are on her side because they want to purchase a horse from said wealthy parents for millions of dollars, and the school administration, proving that those nasty cheerleading moms are entirely correct in all their accusations.”

    Don’t forget a handful of pilots who apparently have nothing better to do! Man, I hated this plotline at first, but the more people who come to support Sophie for no reason at all, the more I find myself going with it. If they burst into the tryouts with a rousing rendition of “Do You Hear the People Sing?” I will declare Judge Parker the finest piece of sequential narrative in all creation.

  50. Nekrotzar
    June 24th, 2009 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    #16 – is that a challenge to Tom Baituk?

  51. Sequitur
    June 24th, 2009 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    Actually, I’d like to see Sophie take Tiffany’s place.

  52. Sequitur
    June 24th, 2009 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    Les: Well, Funky, before he died he shat himself.
    Funky: Damn Curmudgeons.

  53. F. Cecious Lee
    June 24th, 2009 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    Poteet and Wagmore Barkless, where were the geeky girls like you in the early mid 70′s. Not in south east central (or was it north east south) Florida.

  54. NoahSnark
    June 24th, 2009 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    The General’s new hairstyle is just the latest piece of evidence fueling my suspicion that Beetle Bailey is trying to see how gay the strip can get before their syndicate notices.

  55. buckyswife
    June 24th, 2009 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    #38 Poteet and #42 wagmore barkless: Count me in. I had a brief ninth-grade fling with the concept of cheerleading (unsuccessful, as it turned out), and then I realized that, really, I hated the whole business and didn’t belong there at all. So I became a kick-ass high-school newspaper editor—SUCH a better fit!

  56. buckyswife
    June 24th, 2009 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    F. Cecious Lee: Where were YOU when I was a smart geeky girl in the mid-70s in California?

  57. Melissa G
    June 24th, 2009 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

    Many scientists believe dinosaurs became extinct when an asteroid from space hit earth– but as you can see, it was really Count Weirdly dropping his “Number 27″ doomsday device. Slylock Fox and Max look on in childlike wonder, knowing the rise of mammals is on its way! It’s heartwarming how mass extinction events bring enemies together. My only lingering question is why this particular comic wasn’t saved for Christmas!!!

  58. sugarpie
    June 24th, 2009 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    56 BuckyswifeMost of the smart geeky girls at my school in the 70′s were pretty cute and VERY selective. I never stood a chance…

  59. Greenbrastic
    June 24th, 2009 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

    Surely even the children who are Slylock Fox’s demographic would know that one would never see a Brontosaurus (lumbering vegetarian) eating an Ichthyosaurus (vicious sea-dwelling carnivore). In a normal ‘funny’ comic, this would not bother me, but Slylock Fox’s raison d’etre is to be educational, no? Don’t think of me as a nitpicker, It’s just my way of ‘keeping it real.’

  60. Beatrice
    June 24th, 2009 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

    14 Charterstoned: A couple of years ago, the cheerleaders at the local high school got caught smoking meth during home period, so maybe this plot line will go somewhere after all.

  61. gts1303
    June 24th, 2009 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

    Anybody else think Sophie looks like SpongeBob SquarePants in panel 3?

  62. Lael
    June 24th, 2009 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    It is nice to know how misunderstood women’s haircare products are. Clearly Beetle Bailey just wanted to make a joke about women and the crazy things they do, but had to make sure it was physically visible. Otherwise it would just be, “My the General’s hair smells nicer than usual today.”

  63. Vancouver Junk Removal
    June 24th, 2009 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

    I got the Lockhorns one, but the Dilbert strip completely flew over my head =S

  64. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    June 24th, 2009 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

    I never dreamed of winning the quarterback’s position as a result of some complex calculus involving my heretofore undiscovered skills and my antagonists’ poor grades

    Yeah, I can relate. I also kept my revenge fantasies more reasonable. Specifically, I fantasized about eating the jocks with my big werewolf teeth. Yum.

  65. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    June 24th, 2009 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

    SFox: I think Count Weirdly’s time travel experiment has disrupted the timeline. When the trio return to the 21st century, they will find a horrible world dominated by humans instead of numerous species of talking, shoeless animals. All three freaks will eventually be killed and dissected by the authorities or angry teenage furries.

  66. Sequitur
    June 24th, 2009 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    Okay, I just heard Conan’s monologue. Those writers would do a lot better if they stole from this blog.

  67. Muffaroo
    June 24th, 2009 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    Comrade Denny @21 – Maybe PJ has whatever condition Brooke Greenberg has that leaves this 16-year-old “the size of an infant with the mental capacity of a toddler.”

    Mibbitmaker #34 – By coincidence, the new issue of VIZ came the other day, and I just read the wacky adventures of Jonathan Swift, whose propensity for munching on infants is twitted. While loading the dishwasher, I was reflecting on the possibility that VIZ may be today’s leader in dropping erudite references in front of lovers of cack jokes.

    formerly Ben @45 – So you’re saying this whole episode could end with Sophie looking sadly at a football field polluted by discarded pompoms, perhaps with a lone tear working its way out of her nose?

    Greenbrastic @59 – Didn’t Brontosauruses turn out to be some sort of optical illusion anyway? Misfiled Apatasauruses or something like that? Time for me to get to bed, I think.

  68. By Crom!
    June 25th, 2009 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    I notice that Conan the Barbarian makes an appearance in the first panel of today’s Judge Parker. One can only hope that this subtly foreshadows the tactics that Sophie will be using in her bid to become head cheerleader. I’m looking forward to seeing Sophie crush her cheerleader enemies, drive them before her, and revel in the lamentations of the football team.

  69. KarMann
    June 25th, 2009 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    @gts1303 #61: We should be so lucky. (Link will be subscription-only soon.)

  70. Grandstanding Oddball
    June 25th, 2009 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    I was my high school mascot, mostly because I really wanted to make people laugh. I still, however, wished that the cheerleaders and jocks would all die in a horrendous fire, and actually still do sort of wish that. I am a bad person, but that’s how it is.

  71. Katya
    June 25th, 2009 at 12:13 am [Reply]

    #38 — Poteet and
    #42 — wagmore barkless:

    Well, I didn’t want to have to go there (ever again, actually), but speaking of high school:

    I was neither a so-called “geeky girl” nor the prom queen. In short, I suppose, I didn’t identify with any one particular group. I was just “myself,” you know? Perhaps you were the same, but allowed yourselves to be labeled and categorized by your peers.

    I can honestly say that it never once occurred to me to dream of being a cheerleader. I don’t want to step on any former cheerleaders’ toes here, but why would anyone want to do that? It would just be…brainless; I simply had no interest whatsoever in the idea.

    So I just wanted to chime in and affirm for you that life is not so cut-and-dried and stereotypes are stupid. A person is complex and multi-faceted (and this one sometimes writes in a redundant manner) and cannot be put into a box and tied up neatly with a bow…

    I say as I just realize that I have boxed myself in by blithely and blindly stereotyping all the pompom girls, or whatever they’re called, of the land!

    I’m getting too serious here. Let’s go read some comics!

  72. gts1303
    June 25th, 2009 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    KarMann #69

    Thanks for that, I enjoyed it! I still say she looks like SpongeBob…

  73. Saved By Fearow
    June 25th, 2009 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    Before Sophie tries cheerleading, she might wanna try shaving her creepy half-mustache. Just sayin’.

  74. Sequitur
    June 25th, 2009 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    I was reading Pickles and it occured to me, do old guys wear cargo pants?

  75. Katya
    June 25th, 2009 at 12:23 am [Reply]

    #42 — wagmore barkless:

    I’m sorry. I neglected something very important (and you know what it is)!

    Congratulations on your COTW!

  76. Sequitur
    June 25th, 2009 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    73 me
    Where else would he keep his naked mole rat?

  77. Poteet
    June 25th, 2009 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    # 42 wagmore barkless — Well said. I didn’t regard cheerleaders and jocks with scorn, just indifference. My interests were elsewhere.

    And if boys in my school were interested in skinny geeky bespectacled awkward shy girls, they hid it well. I gotta say, however, that I sat behind Michelle, who had curves and lovely dark eyes as well as lotsa brains, and that combination was very popular.

    # 49 Jess — I wish I hadn’t been taking a sip of water when I came to “Do You Hear the People Sing?”

  78. Katya
    June 25th, 2009 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    #49 — Jess:

    Pilots! Pilots! I forgot about them!

    I love pilots like True Fable loves goats!

    Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

  79. Tony
    June 25th, 2009 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    Amazing…this 87 year old WWII vet has been cutting out Rex Morgan for all 61 years it’s been in his Massachusetts paper.

    87-year-old Joseph Deschenes has clipped and
    saved everyRex Morgan, M.D. strip.
    > or

    Rex Morgan artist Graham Nolan shows his appreciation.

  80. Poteet
    June 25th, 2009 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    6/25 S-M — This strip kinda reminds me of when I worked at a summer camp and watched little boys scuffling. Only the little boys were less bombastic and more coordinated. Also much more appealing.

  81. Sequitur
    June 25th, 2009 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    Hey all you gals out there bemoaning your high school days. All I got to say is back in the day I dated the popular and non-popular gals. Let me tell you, the non-popular were much better company and much more fun. In fact, I married a librarian with a wit that’s fantastic. (Well, I must admit she’s a very pretty blonde.) And we’re about to celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary.

    So I say to all you ladies who are in high school, college or new at your career and don’t meet the expectations of the A list and popular people. You are a unique individual and will attract a very special man who will cherish you and spend his time blogging on comical web sites.

  82. Katya
    June 25th, 2009 at 12:49 am [Reply]

    Why pay for expensive therapy? Just read “Judge Parker!”

  83. Sequitur
    June 25th, 2009 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    81 Katya
    By George, I think you’ve got it!

  84. wagmore barkless
    June 25th, 2009 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    Thanks Katya!

    #45 Artist formerly known as Ben: I think both 1 and 2 are probably correct. I also agree about the shills / dads / panties.

    #53 F. Cecious Lee : Jr. high. Where were *you*?

    #55 buckyswife: Newspaper editor is way cooler. Extra points if you printed unflattering photos of the cheerleader girls. Unintentionally, of course.

  85. bats :[
    June 25th, 2009 at 1:02 am [Reply]

    79. Tony: I’d posted the original article a couple of weeks ago (it Googled for the same keywords on my blog), but it is VERY COOL that you found the follow-up article about the surprise gift. Nolan is a class act, indeed.
    (Hey, he hasn ‘t come after me, which is pretty classy to start with…)

    Thanks for “the rest of the story.”

  86. AndyL
    June 25th, 2009 at 1:09 am [Reply]

    What’s That dino in the middle eating the Ichthyosaur? It looks kind of like a Plesiosaur but they can’t bend their necks like that, And it looks kind of like a variety of other dinos, but they’re all herbivores.
    When I spotted this I nearly Jumped for joy. I was sure I had solved the puzzler.
    Damn fox! Outsmarted me again!

  87. Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
    June 25th, 2009 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    In my high school the majorettes were way cooler than the cheer leaders. That’s just how it goes sometimes.

    BUT all this talk of cheerleaders made me think of Jeffrey Rowland’s comic WIGU, in which the goth girl joins the cheerleaders. I went back and read some. Good stuff!


  88. wagmore barkless
    June 25th, 2009 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    #77 Poteet: Yeah, I’ve never understood the idea that there has to animosity between the cheerleader types and the library types. Actually, several of the cheerleaders at my school were girls I went to elementary school with, and although we were never great friends, they were always cordial. The football boys ignored me and my friends, but really, who needs knuckle-draggers anyway?

  89. MJ1066
    June 25th, 2009 at 1:18 am [Reply]

    Sally Forth, Thursday, 6/25: Didn’t we just go through this with Heart of the City and Luann?

  90. Joe in Seattle
    June 25th, 2009 at 1:21 am [Reply]

    hope you enjoy your visits to the years 2, 9, 3, 27, 10, 6, 41, and 29

    May I point out that all but one of those was during the life of Christ? Perhaps you’d prefer Nero?

  91. Chromium
    June 25th, 2009 at 1:23 am [Reply]

    I thought the text box in SF was somehow leading up to telling us Count Weirdly was responsible for the death of the dinosaurs. “Weirdly insists an asteroid blocked out the sunlight, but Slylock thinks differently. What evidence is there to suggest Weirdly is lying?”

  92. Uncle Lumpy
    June 25th, 2009 at 1:27 am [Reply]

    Mmm — pornporn girls!

  93. Fashion Police
    June 25th, 2009 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    We find Sophie’s cutting-edge teenage fashion makeover tepid at best, but the thought of seeing her in regulation cheerleader gear gives us the vapors. We dearly hope that in the face of this madness she will gracefully but willfully quit the scene, leaving the rest slightly in dismay and slyly checking out each other’s manicures.

  94. Katya
    June 25th, 2009 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    #88 — wagmore barkless:

    I think with me, that could be sorta like…

    “I’ve never understood the idea that there has to be animosity between the…’religious types’ and the ‘science types.’” Can’t we all just get along?


    It is not my intention to ignite a firestorm here, but I just couldn’t refrain. Please, everyone, pay no attention to the above.

  95. Ktrout
    June 25th, 2009 at 1:47 am [Reply]

    “What geeky girl doesn’t dream about being a cheerleader?” Well, I think I can name Daria Morgendorffer, for starters.

  96. boojum
    June 25th, 2009 at 2:14 am [Reply]

    I heart Daria.

  97. Mibbitmaker
    June 25th, 2009 at 3:21 am [Reply]

    Ah, something new’s been added:

    666CL: That does it. Either Monty is just a crazy, malevolent twit (my guess), or he’s Satan (it’s a possibility) (already I’ve used two old catchphrases gloriously co-opted by ’40s Looney Tunes!)

    A3Gee, what are the chances of that happening?

    BBailey: Gosh, strip, blatant much?

    Curtis: Speaking of WB cartoons, a favorite: Foghorn Leghorn trying to teach brainy squab hide-’n’-seak. Foggy hides in storage thingy on side of barn. The kid, a few feet from storage thingy, digs up Foggy (mathematically, of course) from the ground. Foggy goes to check storage thingy, stops, and (this is the best part) says, “Nah, I better not. I just might be in there!”

    JP: “Also, Sophie, Omega House at Faber College is rooting for you as well, but that’s not important now…”

    Marmaduke: “Steam shovel.”

    MW: I get it! Delilah will keep talking Mary in circles with iron-tight circular logic until the whole furshlugginer thing goes around and around — and it comes out nowhere. This will drive Mary insane. Good play, there, Delilah!

    OBH: …The comfy chair!

    Ghost-Who-Adjusts-His-Head: Ghost-Who-Goes-Back-For-Old-Exposition: Ghost-Who-Breaks-The-4th-Wall.

    RMMD: “…and then Les Moore…”

    Ziggy: If he’d said “appeasement”, this would be Friz Freleng’s “Fifth Column Mouse” instead of Ziggy.

    Th-th-th-that’s all, folks!

  98. Frank Parsnip
    June 25th, 2009 at 3:36 am [Reply]

    MW: Delilah: “Oh, no, maintaining our relationship would tear poor Lawrence away from his work, and I know how important that is to him. So, I’ve done some calculations and figure that if I embark upon a no-holds-barred divorce in which I strip away every last bit of his career success and public dignity, I should save him about 5 hours over the amount of time he would need to spend taking vacations with me and watching children. It’s really much more efficient this way.”

    Jugs Parker: Most of the teachers are pulling for poor little Sophie because they remember her as the awkward child in violet pantsuits, walking about the cafeteria with her little briefcase… always being refused when she asked the other kids to “do lunch”.

    MT: Mark Trail here veers into Herb & Jamaal unspecifics: “the company that you’ve been doing business with for a long time”. Oh, that company.

    DtM: Dennis comparing gardening methods, not menacing. Dennis using colored flowers to grow obscene patterns? More menacing.

    Sex Organ, M.D.: June, be sure to tell them the bad news while wearing that bikini so that they get over the pain more quickly.

    Beetle Bailey: In the don’t-ask-don’t-tell strictures of the modern American army, Sarge finds it hard to demonstrate to Beetle what his tongue can do. Now that he’s demonstrated what he can do for the back end, Sarge is going back on the chow line to get a banana.

    Blondie: Dagwood’s innocent of the pizza sauce and is free to implicate whomever he wishes . As has well been established, he’s a sandwich man.

    A3G: “This Roger person”? You gotta love Margo for questions like that.

  99. Sheila Sternwell
    June 25th, 2009 at 4:03 am [Reply]

    The most exciting thing about this “Mary Worth” story line is that Mary didn’t savagely beat Delilah to death yesterday when she failed to use a coaster for her beverage.

  100. Big Sims
    June 25th, 2009 at 4:39 am [Reply]

    I knew about ‘thug’ and ‘pajama’ but I didn’t know HoJo was also an Indian word.
    Kinda like Motel 6 with it’s weird, untranslatable (sanskrit?) character on the end. What, they don’t have Motel VI’s in India? AND cows in the street?

  101. One-eyed Wolfdog
    June 25th, 2009 at 5:29 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke is kind of inspiring this morning. I think I’m going to limit any conversations I have today to the naming of small burrowing mammals. (They will be quite short conversations, which is the point.)

  102. gleeb
    June 25th, 2009 at 6:21 am [Reply]

    Lio: DOUG. FUNERAL. Had a good long wordless run going there, though.

    A&J: Janis is pissed because Arlo never washes dishes.

    A3-G: And old friend, huh? Well, I guess I shouldn’t read so much into an old rose tie.

    ‘bean: “No, not birds. It’s a sarcastic cat, who…where you going?”

    Principal Norton, Fixer!: She just as much as admitted that the whole thing is already rigged.

    Six Chix: Newspapers.

  103. F. Cecious Lee
    June 25th, 2009 at 7:30 am [Reply]

    56 Buckyswife and 84 Wagmore Barkless

    I lived on the east coast of Florida (Vero Beach) back in the 70′s and before. I spent a few years in CA during the 80′s.

    Looking back at Jr and Sr High I was friends (at least friendly with) with a variety of people that included most of the stereotypes. But like others here I was doing my own thing and didn’t pay much attention to the cliques.

  104. Islamorada Girl
    June 25th, 2009 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    Meanwhile, in 3G, what is that thing on Martin Magee’s head?
    I think it’s supposed to be his toupee, but it looks like hot buttered yak wool. Ick nast, as the kids say.

  105. Patrick
    June 25th, 2009 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    The writers of Beetle Bailey either don’t understand how hair conditioner works, or they’re implying that General Halftrack meticulously flat-irons his wispy remnants of hair and moustache every morning. I vote for the latter, because I prefer my army as gay as possible.

  106. Hogenmogen
    June 25th, 2009 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    9CL: If “clean my garage” is a euphamism for cunnilingus, then “washing his socks” is now a euphamism for “jerking off somewhere”.

    BB: And “licking his plate” is also a euphamism. But the art disturbs me most of all. Sarge turns his head 180 degrees. That’s an amazing thing, since he has no neck. His mouth connects directly to his back, since he has no chin, either. His arm is still the mishapen object from a few days back when he threatened Beetle with it. Beetle, the titular character, is silent. They should just rename the strip Sarge-Who-Wants-to-Fuck-Soldiers-Up-the-Pooper and leave it at that.

    Crank: I’m sure someone else has mentioned this, but postal rates for first class letters haven’t been three cents since 1958.

    Crock: Who is this man, Poulet, who can stare directly into a man’s soul? From a distance, out the window, no less.

    (wt)DT: Watch out, Dick, Big Ace never loses at random games of chance. Except he pulled the ace of clubs, despite having a fucking spade for a nose!

    What bothers me most about this DT sequence is that Dick asked for a SWAT team to get to his location as he was dealing with Big Acehole. A rational human being, who wanted to protect his own keyster would have set up the SWAT team and then went inside.

    Funky: Not content to just set up a simple pun, smirk, and be done with it, Batuik had to go for some crappy plot development which not only killed the pun, but didn’t really advance the plot, since we already know that Cayla and Les are having three way etherial sex with Dead Lisa.

    I’m on Tiff’s side. Luann is butting in where she doesn’t belong. She already has two guy duking it out for her rather average ass, and here she is trying to add another to the fray. What has Tiffany got? Good looks, sure, but a weak personality, a tawdry reputation and no respectable career prospects. She’s desperately trying to kindle a relationship with a guy who might take her out of the shithole of everlasting and never released romantic tension that Luann, Gunther, Elvis-Mini-Me, Brad and Toni wallow in. Fucky you, Luann. Go hump your fashion designer geek friend and make the dwarf watch.

    Mary Meddleworth: I don’t want to compromise his work! Lecturing on Umberto Eco and Alain Finkielkraut plays a vital role in society. There’s no telling what could happen if he were to lecture only half as much or by videoconference!

    Where’s Sally? I bet she got turned on by the smell of late afternoon sweat, crushed popcorn underfoot and sausages that have been sitting in greasy water all day, and she’s in the control room of the merry-go-round screwing the guy who sells balloons.

    But I’m just speculating.

  107. Little Guy
    June 25th, 2009 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    SFx: 2, 9, 3, 27, 10, 6, 41, and 29 — Count Weirdly gets funding from th Hanso Foundation and Whitmore Industries?

  108. Hogenmogen
    June 25th, 2009 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    Oh, and I wasn’t around yesterday, but I’m glad that Josh posted the Slylock. Yes, I can’t get over the fact that Weirdly is hanging out with a pair of detectives that have repeatedly tried to put him in jail and that he has tried to kill several times in bizarre manners that unfortunately have never worked. But two other things bother me here. The latest theory is that a period of increased volcanic activity is what felled the dinosaur age. Two, shouldn’t this strip have a “spot the differences” or some mystery or at the very least a true-false quiz? What’s up with this blurb about a random archeological fact (which is currently being disputed)?

  109. Hogenmogen
    June 25th, 2009 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    #102 – Gleeb – The arteest himself has graced this blog with his commentary and has explained that his strip is “without dialogue” not “wordless”. He seemed a little upset. If you want to piss on an honored guest, go ahead, but you’ve been warned.

    Now if the AJGLU3K were to start sending its digital transmissions, or the Walker/Browne/legacy/phone-it-in people tried to defend their work, you’d win the argument.

  110. Bill
    June 25th, 2009 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    I’m wondering how Rex Morgan, MD is going to sustain this level of T&A once the cruise is over. Maybe there will be a swine flu outbreak at the taping of a Victoria’s Secret commercial. Rex won’t notice, but I will.

  111. Hogenmogen
    June 25th, 2009 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    Marm: The joke isn’t about Marm being a big dog, it’s about a big… uh…. MOLE! Ya get it? “Mole!” Ha ha ha! “Mole!” Ha ha. What will those crazy squiggled people say next?

    Garfield is funny, because he’s a cat, and he likes to eat cat food! I can completely understand, and that’s why I’d just love looking out my bedroom window at a hot dog factory, because I eat hot dogs! When I move next door to one, I’m going to hang this strip on my refrigerator!

    The Amazingly Incompetent Spiderman: Knocked out again? And you took out Wolverine, too? Who’s side are you on, anyway?

  112. Chip Whittle
    June 25th, 2009 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    Am I alone in looking forward to Slylock solving the mystery of the stepped-upon butterfly?

  113. Hogenmogen
    June 25th, 2009 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    #67 – Mufaroo: I think the Slylock was trying to show a pleisiosaur, which is carniverous. However, I doubt it would have attacked an ichthyosaurus, just due to the size of the prey vs. the size of its mouth. And, the pleisiosaur could not raise its heavy neck far out of the water like a swan, so that’s another myth being presented as fact. The T. Rex obviously never had those dragon-like flanges on its back, but for no apparent reason, those things are there. It could be an allosaurus, given that the arms are too big to be a T. Rex, but the Allosaurus never had that kind of decoration, either. Basically, if you want to write an educational strip on dinosaurs, it would pay to do three minutes of fundamental research instead of going on vague recollections from grade school.

  114. McManx
    June 25th, 2009 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    Slylock Fox — Count Weirdly, afterall, is a scientist, and what better use of a time machine that to test the theory of evolution — by marooning Slylock and Max in prehistory and seeing what they will evolve into in several million years. In that time paradox, this comic will suddenly transform into “Slylax Mox” and the hero will be a large yellow fox with mouse ears and tale. This assumes the original Slylock is wily enough to mess with Max’s chromosome structure and use him as a mate.

  115. Tom
    June 25th, 2009 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    # 74 They are cargo shorts and I’m old, in my 40′s and I wear them, so yes, old men wear cargo shorts.

  116. Old School Allie Cat
    June 25th, 2009 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Holy Funking Winkerbean – WHAT is the death cat doing in Funky Winkerbean? Is it narcissistic of me to think that Batuik is just fucking with us now?

  117. Old School Allie Cat
    June 25th, 2009 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Sorry – that tag is invaluable. Still – what’s with the death cat?

  118. Hogenmogen
    June 25th, 2009 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    Martin flew to India to give his friend a newspaper??

    Two words: Fed Ex.

  119. TheDiva
    June 25th, 2009 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    FW: Cayla, dear, you seem like a nice lady and all (at least by the standards of this comic) so here’s a bit of advice from someone who’s been there: get out now. Guys like Les don’t want their metaphorical blackbirds lifted–they want to mope and sulk and generally feel sorry for themselves. You’ll just waste a lot of time and energy trying to comfort someone who doesn’t want to be comforted, only pitied, and that in turn will make you miserable. There’s no helping Les, but you still have a chance! Run while you can!

    Luann: Not that Luann is a credit to my profession (or anyone else’s, for that matter), but Tiffany? GET BENT.

    MW: I liked this comic better when it was ridiculously stupid women getting scammed out of large quantities of money, instead of ridiculously stupid women wringing their hands over self-manufactured relationship problems.

    Pluggers: And yet, they’re still overweight slobs.

  120. Morten
    June 25th, 2009 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    In nineteenth-century depictions of the prehistoric world, plesiosaurs and ichthyosaurs were always fighting it out. I love how the Slylock panel goes right back to those images, like this one from 1865.

  121. TheDiva
    June 25th, 2009 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    Oh, one more:

    C’shaft: Ha ha, it’s funny because kids these days don’t do things the way their parents did them!

  122. TheMagicMel
    June 25th, 2009 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Everything is so smirk-worthy in the Funkyverse that even the cat has a derisive look on its face. What the hell?

  123. buckyswife
    June 25th, 2009 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    #103 F. Cecious Lee: My Northern California high school was astoundingly stratified—and when I (stupidly) went to my 25-year reunion, the cliques remained. Needless to say, I found going away to college very liberating.

  124. Bootsy
    June 25th, 2009 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    # 15, F. Cecious Lee: Where I come from, band geeks (especially trombonists) grow up to front cool bands that have chicks flinging their panties on the stage.

  125. gleeb
    June 25th, 2009 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    109 (Hogenmogen): Yeah, but the words provide the exposition that dialog would normally take, so it amounts to the same thing. But if Tatulli has himself said so, I guess I have to kiss the hem of his garment and tell him he should take the matter up with the syndicate’s marketing folks, who are making him look bad.

  126. DavidMac
    June 25th, 2009 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    36 & 37, Lisa: I think the point was that all money is the federal government’s property and that we simply “borrow” it for a while (at least, that’s what our current administration seems to think).

  127. buckyswife
    June 25th, 2009 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    SM: So now we know that Spidey’s incompetence is infectious. Keep that mask on, Spidey—we don’t want a Bumble Pandemic.

    FC: “And so Grandma’s going to share her happy nap time pills with you children so you’ll stop staring at her all the time.”

    MW: Delilah’s fixed, blank stare in the second panel clears up the mystery here. She’s refusing to listen to any kind of reason because she’s not an old friend of Mary’s. Instead, Mary has bought herself a MeddleBot, an android programmed to throw problems, issues, and obstacles in the meddler’s way so that she can refine her meddling skills. In a short time (i.e., maybe three months on the comics pages), Mary will emerge with her meddle skills razor sharp, ready to unleash them with a “snik snik”—much like Wolverine’s claws—on the first unsuspecting Charterstoner she meets.

    HtH: That’s a pretty ineffectual stab at historical verisimilitude with that “paint a picture” line. Note to Chris Browne: If you give your Viking ice cream, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and a cherry, you might as well just go ahead and give him the camera, too.

  128. Calico
    June 25th, 2009 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    Josh Re: Beetle and the drunk General – my thoughts as well. That poor man. It’s a good thing he was in the shower, though.

  129. Calico
    June 25th, 2009 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    Just FYI – I haven’t posted here in several days as we had to deal with a very sad situation – we had to say goodbye to our 16-year old Pomeranian dog Tuesday AM – she was old and tired with several internal organs failing simutaneously – she was tranquilized and then put to sleep, and she passed very peacefully surrounded by her 3 loving human Moms.
    My partner’s daughter was the original owner of our beautiful pet, and she was so upset and sad it just about broke my heart.
    We’re doing a little better now, but we miss her so. She was a joy and it was an honor and priviledge to take care of our gorgeous baby.
    More posts as I feel better – the comics are giving me a few laughs here and there, which I’m grateful for.

  130. UncleJeff
    June 25th, 2009 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    JP — What’s funny (for me) about this strip is that several of our area schools dropped cheerleaders for football games. Apparently, too many girls were going out for cross country, volleyball and soccer or preparing for the winter basketball and hockey seasons to have the time required to don the sweater and skirt and get cold and wet while yelling for a couple of hours on Friday nights.

  131. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    June 25th, 2009 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    @79 – Tony

    Wow, 61 years of Rex Morgan. So that takes us back to right around the beginning of this cruise ship plotline? Those were innocent days, back when Willy was nothing more than a partially-glimpsed boy gnawing on donuts.

    MW – If they were going to go with this plot, couldn’t they have given the prof a specialty such as physics or immunology? The vital work of a travelling lecturer in Philosophy is pretty hard to swallow, here. And, really, how much time does he spend on the road at these crucial philosophy conferences? “Sorry, Del, next week is a symposium on nihilism! Nothing will stop me from presenting! Or, at least, nothing will try!”

    Let’s hope for a reveal that he is spending his time at these “conventions” the same way John from FBOFW does – kicking it in the hotel room with a precocious grad student. Which is probably how he met Delilah in the first place…

  132. F.Cecious Lee
    June 25th, 2009 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    123 Buckyswife: When I went to my 10th reunion everyone seemed to mix well at the informal Friday night event. But at the formal Saturday night dinner the cliques were mostly back. I haven’t been able to make the ones since then.

    124 Bootsy: I sure picked the wrong place to grow up.

    Did anyone else notice the google ad at the top of the page earlier for “Pictures of Geeky Beautiful Women”?

  133. Sequitur
    June 25th, 2009 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    I just realized that the dialog in PBS would work just as well with Mimi as Zebra and Drew Carey as Pig.

  134. RD
    June 25th, 2009 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    This may be the first time Dilbert has ever inspired anyone to get a career. Not in a soul-sucking dehumanization factory like his office, but as a bookie! I just read the wikipedia entry on vigorish, and I’m ready to start my new life with fistfuls of cash in shady back alleys, fixing games and hiring legbreakers to collect debts. I’ll probably still have to wear a tie, though, because ties make people look respectable. Even the dog looks respectable in that tie.

  135. queek
    June 25th, 2009 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .the old bump and grind?!?

    gleeb is. . . .barking up the wrong tree. still.

  136. Sequitur
    June 25th, 2009 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    Is it any coincidence that one of the Google ads at the top of this blog is for Cheerleading Accessories?

  137. Hogenmogen
    June 25th, 2009 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    If all else fails, Sophie can crush the cheerleading moms against the side of the frame with her gigantic face.

  138. Hogenmogen
    June 25th, 2009 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    I love how Count Weirdly’s technological feat of constructing a time traveling device that can double as an aircraft requires the use of a non-digital clock on the outside.

  139. Vince M
    June 25th, 2009 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    124: From one of my favorite SNL sketches:
    “Ladies and gentlemen – the five Beatles! John, Paul, George, Ringo, and Albert Goldman!”

  140. The Dark Cheetah
    June 25th, 2009 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    Perhaps Sophie is trying to break through the fourth wall of the comic?

    (And the last panel of BB would have worked better if the hair was curly but the mustache was still straight…)

  141. Amanda M
    June 25th, 2009 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    Panel 3 of Judge Parker: *bonk* Ow!

  142. Miss Holly
    June 25th, 2009 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

  143. Rachel K
    June 25th, 2009 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    I assumed on account of the conspiratorial glance and mutual smirk passing between them that the Count and Slylock had simply teamed up to toss Max to the Tyrannosaurs. Max seems weirdly thrilled at the situation, but Max, as we know, is an idiot.

  144. Aviatrix
    June 26th, 2009 at 1:42 am [Reply]

    Shortly after Josh focused my attention on just how far over the edge some comics go, I became convinced that many artists compete to see how NSFW they can make a strip without the syndicate noticing. I have no trouble believing that BB is working on achieving maximum gayness, and the poor artist is probably starting to realize that he’ll have to do uncomforable levels of research in order to get that far.

    My theory about the hair product: it was conditioning Curl Activator. It doesn’t work that way either, but it’s the sort of thing that is reasonable in the comic strip universe.

  145. SandyH
    June 27th, 2009 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    Calico@129: My sympathies. That never gets any easier, no matter how many pets we have. Sixteen years is a good long life; that is what you should focus on now, as hard as that is.

    I love poms and have groomed many over the 13 years I have had my business. They are quite special.

  146. Nulono
    May 23rd, 2011 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    A meteor FROM SPACE no less.

  147. Cal
    December 4th, 2011 at 12:44 am [Reply]

    Oh, I get the Dilbert one. He’s describing his job literally. The ‘small disreputable companies’ are businesses. The ‘larger one’ is the government itself. So he’s looking for a reason for the government to take more money from business. For this he is paid a salary, a ‘cut’ of the money he is able to give the government. ‘Vigorish’ is a pun, it’s literal meaning is ‘healthy’, but there’s also a slang meaning where the ‘vigorish’ (or ‘vig’) is a term for an amount of money paid to a bookie (or casino house) for the privilege of being able to make a bet. The government is the gambler, the businesses are ‘the house’, and the auditor acts as a bookie, getting paid for the government taking a ‘gamble’ of finding unpaid taxes.

    A complex joke. Pretty clever.

  148. Muscle Maximizer Reviews
    September 9th, 2013 at 7:36 am [Reply]

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