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Metapost: Many-item comments of the week

One again, your comment of the week is coming soon … but there are many hilarious and informative items that you have to work your way through first, which working through you will not regret! First off I will plug a little project that I’ve contributed to! If you have a Facebook account and are at all interested in free text-based adventure games, you might want to check out the Land of Odd! Look for the quests written by jfruh (that’s me!).

Next up is this image from faithful reader DOlz: “I was reading the vintage “Beetle Bailey” and I thought you might like to know Campy Swampy has long been a man’s camp.”

Next comes a note from faithful reader KTrout:

I live in a bland suburb about an hour from Vancouver, British Columbia, and when I make forays into the big city I often find myself walking or bussing through the Downtown Eastside. On Hastings street is a drinking establishment with the name “Funky Winker Bean’s Pub.” Being a year shy of the provincial drinking age I can’t say what it’s like inside but the pub’s listing on the website “Clubvibes” paints an evocative picture: “It was surprisingly clean, and the red walls with the half nude flapper girls that adorned them helped to create a kind of calculated aesthetic.” Furthermore, the listing boasts “Cheap Drinks” such as “$1.50 for a glass of beer, $2.75 for a 16oz pint, or $3.25 Shooters! (sic)” As if that weren’t enough it seems that revelers can also enjoy the services of “April the Bouncy Bartender.” (But only on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.) The clubvibes entry can be found here.

I’ve never had a camera handy on my trips, but Google brings us this picture:

Next comes this note from faithful readers David Di Lillo and Mike Young:

We took a trip down to Washington D.C. to see the “Funny Pages”
exhibit at the fabulous five-floor Newseum, which provides a nice
timeline of comic strip history, only to find a large-scale Dennis the
Menace in his typical, non-menacing, “What’d I do?” pose. This
sighting made the $1 Megabus fare worth it.

Also! You might recall that last week I unaccustomedly posted a blurb from a syndicate promotional flack, because I love Lio and I love lookalike contests. This week I am going to give you a little taste of another I received:

Archie Comics made headline news this summer when it was announced that Michael Uslan (Executive Producer of “The Dark Knight”, “Batman Begins”) would be scripting “Archie marries Veronica”! The story was covered in front pages of newspapers around the world!

It goes on like that, blah blah eternal love triangle blah blah electronic sneak preview here blah blah WAIT HOLY CRAP SCRIPT WRITTEN BY EXECUTIVE PRODUCER OF THE ULTRA-BLEAK DARK KNIGHT? I am very much looking forward to the shocking climax, when Reggie forces Archie to decide whether to save Veronica (tied to a pile of dynamite in an abandoned warehouse) or Betty (being slowly lowered into a vat of acid in an old factory across town).

And finally we have have this charming note from faithful reader AirForbes:

I know you have an interest in wacky comics-related things your readers do, so I submit for your review the real life Jack Elrod Ball. I made this from a piece of cast-off illustration board, and with some reusable adhesive, it can be placed in a multitude of locations.

King Features is really missing out on the marketing possibilities here. The Elrod Ball! Create your own nature scenes involving ginormous wildlife! Stick it on the living room wall and experience the suspense of knowing that at any moment, a khaki-clad naturalist may kick in your front door and start punching anyone with facial hair! For example, I created this scene featuring a beloved Mark Trail character from a previous storyline, Lucky Beaver, at the creek in my backyard. I’m thinking a line of static decals for car windows would work well, too.

And now … your comment of the week!

“You know what they say, ‘Guns don’t kill people … and neither does this guy.’” –Rachel211

And your also-hilarious runners up!

“Over and over again I’m struck by how charmingly whimsical the art in Crankshaft is compared to how loathsome and charm-free the characters. Of course, if the art matched the content, then it would have to be drawn in smears of pig’s blood or something. Still. It’s jarring.” –Strangefate

“Before piling wood on your lawn, think twice. Will your future piled wood needs perhaps differ, locationwise? Plan ahead, so you don’t have to rely on the coerced servitude of hostile, resentful youths. Even when you’re absolutely certain, take a moment to inspect the exposed surface at the end each ‘log,’ and consult the following handy reference: Concentric circles: Log. Proceed. Spirals: Swiss cake roll. Reconsider.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“Obviously Cathy hasn’t yet stumbled onto Irving’s account at from-the-waist-down.net.” –HvP

“‘Mary Worth in Space’ would be a great 1970s Saturday morning cartoon! Of course she’d have a talking dune buggy.” –Vince M

“Hopefully, tomorrow, Del picks up one of her husband’s books and cries, ‘W-whoa! That’s … philosophy of a kind … I suppose…’ Lawrence: ‘I forgot you weren’t into the more posthumanist epistemology! Some things never change … hmm?’” –teddytoad

“My fondest wish is that, while Lawrence and Delilah are sitting in their hotel room, declaring their love for one another, Barry saunters in from another strip and nonchalantly takes a piss while cracking wise at both of them.” –Patrick

“I can’t see how you don’t see this as one more instance of the roving eyes that keep Lawrence on the road and drove Del to turn to Beefsteak Charley’s Lovenest to relieve her hunger for attention. It’s like, ‘Del, let’s talk in my room. It’s more pri … Why, HEL-LO THERE, Ms. Sexy Female Episcopal Priest. You know, it’s funny because I was just thinking about the Synod of Whitby and … Oh, right, Del. My room is this way. The champagne is, um, a gift from my publisher. So is the underwear.’” –Edgy DC

“Maybe what we’ve always assumed is Curtis’ hat is, in fact, an overly elaborate hairstyle? That would explain how it manages to stay perched precariously on his head under the most extraordinary circumstances. Whatever it is, though, my question is: how in the Hell does Curtis plan on getting his shirt on over it?” –TheDiva

“Dear Lord … I pray that Barry does NOT have the runs tomorrow morning while accusing Michelle of human sacrifice.” –AeroSquid

A3-G: The small airport is so small, it doesn’t even seem to have a plane. I’m guessing the travelers just climb up that big mountain in the background, strap on some cardboard wings, and jump off.” –Perky Bird

“Viewing today’s Curtis, I can only think of three possible explanations: 1. Curtis’ brother’s penis comes out of his sternum. 2. Curtis’ brother has an exceptionally long and hose-like penis, that can be pulled up and over the toilet bowl. 3. Curtis’ brother is making a mess! By the way, forgive me for not knowing his name (though perhaps it’s actually ‘Worm’, which would lead me to believe the explanation is number two?), but I do have a life. Just not one rich and full enough to keep me from thinking about cartoon character’s penises, apparently.” –kevinbapp.com

“I know that many, if not most, newspaper comics are typically not abreast of current news, fashion, trends, technologies, wars, speech patterns, behaviors of young people, etc., but is it actually a requirement? Do the comics syndicates have a non-compete clause in their contract with newspapers that prevents them from delivering any content that might be considered current?” –wagmore barkless

“My Internet Happy Box involves more yiffing, to be honest. Granted, I can only see so much in that last panel.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“When a colony collapses in the Batuikverse do you think a bee in a tuxedo and an opera mask shows up to carry off the hive?” –Hank

“So, Gil — you’ve taken an angry young man who pummeled your house with baseballs and paired him with a bunch of defenseless kids and easy access to unlimited baseballs? Yeah, that seems like a good judgment call. Those kids are going home covered in ball-sized welts.” –Old School Allie Cat

“I think that I shall never see/ A man like Crankshaft ’xplainin’ bees.” –Dingo

“‘SO WHAT’S THE REAL ANSWER?!’ Trick question. The bees are all alive and well, but the Army misidentified some other insects’ remains.” –Chyron HR

“If being shot at makes Mark think he’s on the right track, I imagine being killed will really make his day! ‘I’ve solved it! Huzzah!’ *dies*” –zooby

“I think the low-angle shot represents the contempt with which Crankshaft views his audience. He figures these ditzy broads won’t understand anything about his brilliant bee lecture unless he literally draws them a picture of an oversized, simplified cartoon bee. This is the ’Shaft’s equivalent of a Power Point presentation. Call it An Incontinent Truth.” –Joe Blevins

“I always wonder how longtime legacy strips end. Mostly, it seems to be with a week’s worth of maudlin nostalgia that seeks to manufacture a sense of loss in the reader. Rarely does a strip die a ‘natural death’, in the sense that the plot ties up and the story really has come to an end. All of which is to say — if tomorrow our orange assassin drills Mark Trail right between the eyes, with a final panel saying ‘So long! It’s been a great 63 years’, I will be thrilled and impressed beyond measure.” –David Schraub

“There are cutters in Dick Tracy, all right. They always start with the fingers.” –Dean Booth

“What next, a scene in which Edda smears a naked Amos with tiramisu and licks it off? Ow, I hurt my own brain.” –Poteet

“After reading Crankshaft for a while, maybe Death Panels aren’t such a bad idea.” –Wolf Shepherd

“If the reason the bees are dying is ‘rattlesnakes’, the past few weeks of Crankshaft will make perfect sense. Yes, including the fast forward. Rattlesnakes, man! They get their venom into your head and then you’re like … whoa, dude, I’m seeing flashbacks from every time I’ve ever seen a baseball game, except I’m in the future. Oh, wait, hold on. Did I say ‘rattlesnakes’? I meant ‘marijuana’. Marijuana is the only way the past few weeks of Crankshaft make any sense.” –Black Drazon

“So now we know the truth: Rodgers and Hammerstein songs make Delilah so instantly and powerfully aroused that when Charley sang them, she became terrified of her own physical desire and had to flee to the only man she knew would serve as an antidote to lust.” –buckyswife

“Yesterday I saw ‘salmon’ in a list of colors, and I realized that salmon squares aren’t so named because they’re made of fish — nobody knows what the heck they are, so they call them salmon squares, because they’re salmon-coloured squares. The next pool party will introduce aquamarine triangles.” –AirForbes

“Well it seems that Del and Lawrence, while unable to communicate in any semblance of a constructive manner, have put aside their differences because Lawrence would never dream of even looking at a woman in a one piece bathing suit, let alone owning a Thomas Kincade reproduction of one. Now they enjoy their chaste, chaste ‘love making’ which probably consists of a few minutes of solid hand holding while Lawrence reads aloud from Leviticus.” –Suspicious Patron

2012 is either when this lame story is going to wind down or when someone finally identifies that weird rotting flesh smell coming from Charley’s apartment.” –walty

“Ugh. And now Lawrence proceeds to fill Delilah up with babies, as God intended.” –Nomstrosity

“I love the expression on Barfy’s face as he has an existential moment: ‘Dear God, I’m going to be stuck with these people for the rest of my life, aren’t I?’” –spazmodeas

“Wow, how big is that tent? Maybe the Keanes aren’t camping at all, but they’ve tented their house for termites — and because it’s raining outside, they’re all going to be poisoned. In which case, their lawsuit against the weatherman seems a little more winnable.” –BigTed

Three cheers for everyone who put cash into my tip jar! And cheers also to my advertisers:

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102 responses to “Metapost: Many-item comments of the week”

  1. Farley's Revenge
    August 18th, 2009 at 12:16 am [Reply]

    Congrats to Rachel211 and all the very worthy runner’s up on the float! Great snark, one and all!

  2. True Fable
    August 18th, 2009 at 12:16 am [Reply]

    What a great week, and congratulations to Rachel211 and all the Float Riders! So many great comments!

    Now excuse me; I must be off to make my own Jackelrod Ball and affix it to my ninja goats.

  3. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    August 18th, 2009 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    Yesterpost, Josh quoted “the pen is mightier than the sword.” All mudges should enjoy the way that line was used in “the best crossword clue ever”

  4. commodorejohn
    August 18th, 2009 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    Oh, what a great crop this week. One-Eyed Wolfdog and Chryon HR especially bring the funny. Bravo, all!

  5. kurtthecomicreader
    August 18th, 2009 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    Nice Pics, Josh!

    MT: Retires the FIST O’ JUSTICE for the YELL O’ DOOM drumming up a new bowlover for the bullet-shootin’ baddie.

  6. sugarpie
    August 18th, 2009 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    I missed a third of these during the first go ’round. Thanks and Congratulations Rachel211, Strange Fate, Perky Bird, OEWolf Dog, Poteet, buskeyswife, Nomstrosity, and everyone else!

  7. Canaduck
    August 18th, 2009 at 12:34 am [Reply]

    Ah, the Funky Winker Bean Pub & Hotel on Hastings.

    It’s in a depressing, miserable, impoverished part of the city full of crumbling derelict buildings, drug addicts, sex workers, and homeless people–one of the worst areas in Canada, or so I’ve been told–and so it seems like the perfect spot for anything associated with Funky Winkerbean.

  8. Aitherion
    August 18th, 2009 at 12:47 am [Reply]

    That Dennis the Menace picture reminded me of a terrifying strip I found in one of my dad’s Dennis the Menace books the other day, in which Mr. Wilson has apparently forced Dennis to “smoke heap big peace pipe” (No, seriously, in those exact words) and gotten him completely high just to get some peace and quiet.

    I’d scan it, but I don’t have access right now. If, um, any of you care to see it, though, I can get a scan next time I have the book on hand.

  9. Mibbitmaker
    August 18th, 2009 at 12:49 am [Reply]

    Funky Winker Bean’s Pub — where people go to remember their problems.

    or

    Funky Winker Bean’s Pub — the opposite of Cheers.

  10. True Fable
    August 18th, 2009 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    Fist O Justice Theater The Fist O Justice Theater now pauses in order to reconfigure the entire set, which had been a single-level set but is now includes a second level, a stunt feature and a wire to fly in the deus ex machina.

    Foully Wrongmoniker Hey, back off from the goat references! They aren’t nasty!

    C’haft Oh, this is CLASSIC Batuik material! Lots O’ Laffs as old folks wander off and get lost in the corn, and aren’t found again until autumn, when their dessicated old husks are harvested along with the corn.

    RMMW I’m hoping this extensive prep is going to result in a whizbang storyline, ending of course with June in a bikini.

    Children of the Circle Billy, for Bil’s sake don’t mention your father and the phrase “cuts the whole thing off and starts over” to your mother, in the same sentence.

    Apartment of Doom “GRIEF is socially awkward”? This, from the girl who takes flower-painting lessons from fume-induced ghosts, to a woman who regularly feasts on hapless bland guest stars? Yeah right.

  11. Mibbitmaker
    August 18th, 2009 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    “Do they serve whiskey sour?”

    “At Funky Winker Bean’s, they serve everything sour!”

  12. Poteet
    August 18th, 2009 at 1:09 am [Reply]

    Yay, I’m on the float in such distinguished company! Congratulations, Rachel211 and funny runners-up!

    Somehow it seems weirdly appropriate that as I read the winning comments, I was watching,out of the corner of my eye, TV coverage of the ginormous winner of the Big Bull contest at the Iowa State Fair, the biggest bull in State Fair history. Charley, you should get a photo for your wall.

  13. Uncle Lumpy
    August 18th, 2009 at 1:09 am [Reply]

    Funky. Winker. Bean’s . . . oh God I can’t go on.

  14. Jamus The Bouncy Bartender
    August 18th, 2009 at 1:24 am [Reply]

    I SO want to meet April The Bouncy Bartender someday…..
    And congratulations, Rachel.

  15. bats :[
    August 18th, 2009 at 1:29 am [Reply]

    7. Canaduck: is that part of Vancouver that bad (aside from that pub)? We stayed at the Pacific Palisade several years ago (bestest hotel we ever stayed…of course we weren’t paying for it!), and that’s only about 10 blocks to the west, on Robson and Jervis.

  16. True Fable
    August 18th, 2009 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    Mary, the Magical Meddling Maven Witness the Amazing Lawrence, as he tries to pull a quarter from behind Delilah’s ear! …Seriously, Larry; is that the best foreplay you can offer the girl?

  17. Mr. O'Malley
    August 18th, 2009 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    Archie: I’m posting that first panel in my office to keep me on the straight and narrow at lunch time.

    Bats in Bizarro.

    MT: If you’re going to send Andy after waterfowl at this critical moment, Mark, you could at least keep your voice down. You could cause an avalanche of poorly stacked toxic waste barrels.

    Or does this demonstrate that when Mark cannot unleash the FOJ because of lack of facial hair, he turns instead to kiai-jutsu?

    MW: “We live in modern times?” When did that start?

    I forgot. He’s a philosopher. He must be citing Boethius’ maxim In tempores hodierna vivimus.

  18. MolyBendum
    August 18th, 2009 at 1:44 am [Reply]

    Mr Trail: In the first panel, I thought there were swooshes underneath his rifle as he brings it to bear on ol’ Mark while warning him he is about to shoot, like all good snipers do. But no, I think those’re cliff markings.
    Then in the second panel, I realized THOSE were the swooshes as he brings his rifle up and sights in on ol’ Mark. Which is odd since the rifle was already on his shoulder. And I think we all know you don’t have time to tell your dog to duck when someone’s shooting at you, but ol’ Mark yelled so loud he changed the entire perspective of the second panel. Now that’s a manly roar.
    Outstanding.

  19. Mr. O'Malley
    August 18th, 2009 at 1:52 am [Reply]

    True Fable. I just listened to this interesting podcast today

    http://www.abc.net.au/rn/hindsight/stories/2009/2586264.htm

    and discovered that Captain Cook took a goat with him on the bridge of his ship on his voyage of discovery. A goat that became the first female elected to membership in the Royal Society. And very likely the first goat to circumnavigate the globe. Twice.

    More:
    http://rsnz.natlib.govt.nz/volume/rsnz_35/rsnz_35_00_001420.html
    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Goat-Sailed-World-Jackie-French/dp/0207200777

  20. Poteet
    August 18th, 2009 at 1:53 am [Reply]

    8/18

    Crankshaft — The implication seems to be that in Ohio, people are willing to try to get lost in, say, 1,000 square feet of corn. Buckeyes, are you going to let these insults continue?

    MW — Those poor children.

    A3G — This would be so much more affecting if Lu Ann had actual facial expressions.

    RMMD — Yep, perfessional outdoor writers don’t need no real educatin’ er trainin’ er such. High-school writin’ ‘n Spelchek’ll do fine, just fine.

    MT — So the guy is such a rotten shot that he couldn’t even lift his gun high enough to aim at the cliff instead of the barrels? Or are the laws of physics in LoFo once again bending to Mark’s supreme power?

  21. Mibbitmaker
    August 18th, 2009 at 1:55 am [Reply]

    Ah, something Tues. been added!:

    Cranky: You call it maize, but we call it STUPID! (old commercial reference)

    FW: I dunno, I doubt anything she could do would be more humiliating than the previous storyline.

    MT: The Rolling Drums o’ Justice (RDo’J).

    PBS: “Giant clown head” would be scary if this were the recent Dick Tracy. All the excessive close-ups are. (…scary for the reader, lazy for the artist(s))

    Ghost-Who-Whatever: Oh, lord, not that again! Their slogan should be “Life’s a broken record in the Jungle Patrol”. Or, “Curtis, turn that rap junk down!” Or, “It happened!” Or, “I’ve got some bad news, Funky”. Or….

  22. Mibbitmaker
    August 18th, 2009 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    #21 (me), re: PBS –

    You know a strip is good (PBS, that is) when it’s used to snark a completely different strip (DT, that {sigh} is).

  23. Ktrout
    August 18th, 2009 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    #15- bats:

    There are radical differences between two blocks in the Downtown Eastside, let alone 10. For instance Chinatown is right next to Hastings but it’s quite different and not considered the same neighbourhood. Going further east there are streets close by that are actually pretty picturesque: quiet houses from the 20s or 30s, parks, playgrounds, an old church, schools, etc.

    This is all confused and confounded by the effects of gentrification over the last 20 years or so. From swank and expensive Gastown’s boutiques and condos you only have to go up the block to be in the midst of skid row. This gentrification as a trend doesn’t seem to be going anywhere either which makes the problems of the neighbourhood even worse; as all of these expensive residences and stores move in there is less and less that the long-term residents can afford.

    Robson and Jervis is what I would consider West End, nearly- it’s to the west of the Art Gallery and the Pacific Centre mall, even.

    But to answer your question, it’s a deprived, hard-hit neighbourhood any way you slice it, although the pub is on the relative western edge and it gets a lot worse the further east you go.

  24. Poteet
    August 18th, 2009 at 2:12 am [Reply]

    It’s late at night, so please pardon as I go OT. Are there any parts of any Canadian cities that are as dangerous as the most dangerous parts of certain American cities, crimewise? My inner-urban experiences have been limited, and I’m curious. Thank you.

  25. bats :[
    August 18th, 2009 at 2:15 am [Reply]

    Mutts: I’m lovin’ the junk food promenade.

    RMMD: “There was this one jerk in particular. He said he was a doctor. I sure hope to God he wasn’t a surgeon. He was completely inept at tying his shoes, much less a fly. I think his name was Rex something…”

    MW: well, dang, this phonetic foreplay is going to carry us through another week.
    And who on earth carries a photo in a frame with them on a trip? (Well, not me.)
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3833004150/sizes/o/

  26. Uncle Lumpy
    August 18th, 2009 at 2:16 am [Reply]

    Oh, Moose Jaw is a cesspool. It’s the Oakland of the North.

  27. Farley's Revenge
    August 18th, 2009 at 2:16 am [Reply]

    MW: Larry says he wants to spend time raising his kids; it’s an important job. Del says she feels the same way. What-she feels it’s an important job for Larry to raise the kids?

    I see that their bed is shrinking. It looks like a twin bed now. They better hurry up before it’s an air mattress on the floor. Yeah, right, like that’s going to happen. Del has progressed to taking off her shoes and in another three or four years, she may actually be naked. Larry, on the other hand, will have removed his belt.

    Larry and Del breeding is an excellent argument for birth control.

  28. MolyBendum
    August 18th, 2009 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    MW: Larry- “Does this smell infected to you?”
    Del- “Mmmmmph”

  29. Uncle Lumpy
    August 18th, 2009 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    The Baltimore of the West.

  30. Farley's Revenge
    August 18th, 2009 at 2:19 am [Reply]

    9CL: Did Seth stab Edda in the butt with his fork? Go, Seth!

  31. zooby
    August 18th, 2009 at 2:21 am [Reply]

    15. bats :[

    Oh man, the area is that bad and worse. I don’t live out West anymore, but the first time I drove on East Hastings to get Downtown, I wanted to cry. It’s skid row and the block that Funky Winker Bean’s is on is the last gasp of it. As you go further east, Hastings deteriorates into the poorest neighbourhood in Canada. Prostitution, drugs and HIV/AIDS all run rampant and tourists get a nice, close look at the results because Hastings is a main road used to get to Downtown and is also near Gastown and Chinatown.

    Three blocks east of that pub is Insite, the Supervised Injection Site, which allows addicts to inject their drugs with clean needles in a safe setting as a form of harm reduction. A friend of mine works there and he describes his job as “finding affordable housing for the poorest citizens in the most expensive housing market in the country.”

    Um, this is way more depressing than what I wanted to say, which was: Congrats to Rachel211 and everybody else riding the float this week!

  32. Baka Gaijin
    August 18th, 2009 at 2:28 am [Reply]

    What is it with clowns today? Pearls got it right, Archie, not so much, Dick Tracy, no way. OK, Archie’s implied ground up clowns is pretty good actually. Creepyevilclown!

    Apartment 3-G: Margo: “Did you notice she couldn’t wait to escape, Lu Ann?” I’m not clever enough to make a feminine hygiene snark but I know one has to be there.

    Apartment 3-G, part 2: I’ll bet Margo said that to Carly Simon back in the day. That adlibbed line sounds so well rehearsed.

    Cathy: Oh boy, that’s so funny I forgot to laugh. No, I didn’t.

    Mary Worth: Del, run now. Do you want your kids to be orangutans? Look at the reach on Larry’s arms.

  33. zooby
    August 18th, 2009 at 2:53 am [Reply]

    Poteet:

    Regina and Saskatoon regularly battle it out for the dubious distinction of murder capital of Canada (this is per capita, of course) and crime, drugs and poverty in certain neighbourhoods of both cities are big issues. Calgary’s north end has a serious problem with gang violence, certain neighbourhoods in Toronto (especially the Jane and Finch area, which was “rebranded” as University Heights in January as an attempt to change its reputation) are notorious for violent crime.

    But Uncle Lumpy is right: Moose Jaw is the tenderloiniest of tenderloins.

  34. MolyBendum
    August 18th, 2009 at 3:08 am [Reply]

    Luann: Yesterday she was about to show her tits. Today Quill’s got a raging boner over Luann’s clerical skills.
    “Yeah, you’re stacked”
    “I’d like to file my slot B in your slot A”
    “How’d you like to cradle my phone between your lips”

    Who said readin’ ain’t fun(damental)? And erotic.

  35. Ktrout
    August 18th, 2009 at 3:13 am [Reply]

    #33 Zooby:

    there was also the bad spate of gang-related killings in Lower Mainland BC earlier this year, although I don’t know how it relates to the rest of the country in terms of severity.

  36. Uncle Lumpy
    August 18th, 2009 at 3:26 am [Reply]

    The Utica of the developed world.

  37. Ed Dravecky
    August 18th, 2009 at 3:48 am [Reply]

    Why is Gil Thorp spending so much time and energy trying to convince us that, properly managed, $60,000 should be enough live on for the rest of your natural life? Does this plotline end with a pitch from the new Amway?

  38. SFrederick
    August 18th, 2009 at 3:52 am [Reply]

    So that’s what Beetle Bailey looks like when the artist actually makes more than a sad, half-assed effort to draw it!

  39. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    August 18th, 2009 at 4:50 am [Reply]

    I’m overwhelmed by the funneez. Congrats to all. *flees to his Internet Happy Box*

  40. Sebastian
    August 18th, 2009 at 6:08 am [Reply]

    MW: God, I can’t believe this conversation is still going on. And it’s been a solid week of “Gosh, I love you” “Me too”. The ONLY thing that can salvage this plot at this point is if we find out that everything since Del fled Charley’s apartment has just been a dream Del’s had after passing out: Charley slipped some Rohypnol into her drink, and is right now reenacting his wall art with her.

  41. John C Fremont
    August 18th, 2009 at 6:55 am [Reply]

    Congrats to all, especially Rachel211!! I missed your comment the first time around – You just made my day!

    MT – No, Andy, dog! Shirley, duck! Elmer Fudd, incompetent hit man!

    Pluggers – I call no way! The Pluggers in my neck o’ the woods mow their lawns at least three times a week. It’s like living next to Hank Hill. I guess that makes me Kahn. Hello, hillbilly neighbors! Boy, I tell you what…

  42. Mel AKA "Mel"
    August 18th, 2009 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    MT: Serpentine, Shel, serpentine!

  43. buckyswife
    August 18th, 2009 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    Congrats to all the floaters! Great week!

    MW: I think that Lawrence’s awkward, pseudo-tender gesture is actually intended to hold Delilah’s face still. Think about it: Could you imagine kissing someone who’s facial features were always skittering about like crazed gerbils?

    A3G: Actually, Luann, Tommy is socially awkward. “Grief” will just send her into Rain Man territory.

    Curtis: In the last panel, Dame Wheezy McLipfuzz illustrates all of our reactions to Curtis’s “witticisms.” The only difference is that most of manage to retain our breasts in the process.

    MT: TMWSJW is just about the most courteous hit man around. He gives Mark plenty of warning to hide, duck, run away, go find the proper authorities, etc. Of course, if Mark were smart enough to heed those warnings, we wouldn’t have today’s important lesson: “Hey kids! Did you know that there are many good uses for drums of toxic waste?”

    SM: Huh? How did MJ get there? Does she have her own device that she put on Wolverine—maybe a M*ILF tracker that she slipped into his front pants pocket?
    *Mutant

  44. buckyswife
    August 18th, 2009 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    whose grrrrr…… (I don’t usually correct, but I HATE that error!)

  45. Baka Gaijin
    August 18th, 2009 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: In your mind, Pluggerman! You’ll call your little rhinoboy to move the sprinkler and mow the lawn. Your stubby arms can’t reach beyond your beer belly. Except to get more beer.

    Spiderman: Ha ha. Spidey’s marriage is in trouble. MJ has Wolvie-sense!

  46. Jackuul
    August 18th, 2009 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Why is this not the way it is made now? This is obviously a superior comic in terms of artistic showmanship. WHY HAS THIS STRIP CHANGED!? WHAT OTHER SECRETS ARE THERE? WAS MARMADUKE ONCE A HANDSOME DOG? DID DENNIS THE MENACE HAVE REAL LINES? OH THE HORROR! THE HORROR!

    Also, the old Beetle was more hip than today’s.

  47. mvg
    August 18th, 2009 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    43: I concur: WTF? How did MJ end up at Doc Ock’s low-rent lair? Or did she arrive w/Spidey in the taxi (which might explain why it took him so damn long to show up) & get tired of waiting?

    FC: Mama Keane looks like she’s already on the verge of “fixing things with a knife,” Billy…

    Cshat: We can only hope little Billy Mumy has contorted into his special stare & sent Cranky “out to the cornfield” for good.

    FW: One is forced to wonder how Bathos could possibly fail to realize/acknowledge the dichotomy of treating one vicious, world-hating old coot he’s created as somehow “lovable” (*retch*) in “Cshat” & another just as vicious, world-hating old coot as a reprehensible villain due for his comeuppance (this evil sack-o-bile coach).

    JP: So… they’ve had access to a station wagon all along, but when they rushed to the cheerleader tryouts they still piled half a dozen people into a 2-seat Corvette?

    HtheH: Why is there a riveted metal porthole on a Viking longship, which wouldn’t even have a belowdecks space for dining?

    MW: At least the bed in their room at the Lovecraft Arms has resumed human proportions after yesterday’s bizarre dimensional shift. But now Del’s head has assumed monstrous size in panel two, where Lawrence is presumably trying to silence her before she can summon Shub-Niggurath, The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young.

  48. Talking Squirrel
    August 18th, 2009 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    16 True Fable says: “Witness the Amazing Lawrence, as he tries to pull a quarter from behind Delilah’s ear!”

    Next, gasp in amazement at the Determined Delilah as she deftly makes it disappear and reappear. A black belt in Kegel-do is nothing to sniff at.

  49. tuesy
    August 18th, 2009 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    26, 29, 36 Uncle Lumpy

    But tell us how you really feel about Moose Jaw!

  50. Rachel211
    August 18th, 2009 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    WOOOO HOOOO! I AM SO EXCITED! Thanks Josh!! :)

  51. AeroSquid
    August 18th, 2009 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    Rachel211 CONGRATS!

  52. Heraldguy
    August 18th, 2009 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    S-M: “Ock! Cheese it! It’s the missus!”

  53. Professor Fate
    August 18th, 2009 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    Funky. Winker. Beans: Sometimes you need to go where everybody knows your disease.

  54. Sequitur
    August 18th, 2009 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy
    I think the phrase is, if God were to give the earth an enima, he would stick it in Moose Jaw.

  55. kippetje2000
    August 18th, 2009 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    You know the Club Vibes listing For the Winker Beans’s pub doesn’t actually say it, but do you think the pretty perky bouncy bartender on Saturday, Sunday and Monday has both arms? Just asking…. And I assume at Funky’s doing a ‘shooter’ actually involves sucking on the end of a loaded gun barrel…to kill the everlasting pain of life in general.

  56. TheDiva
    August 18th, 2009 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    Yay, I’m on the float! Grats Rachel211 et al!

    C’Shaft: Yep, THAT’S a fresh, original play on words that hasn’t been used by 95% of the corn field mazes in the country!

    Curtis: Yeah, ever hear of waxing? Or even a personal groomer? It’s not like unsightly facial hair is an untreatable (or even uncommon) condition, after all.

    FW: Joy in Funkytown must come at the price of another human being’s suffering. It’s like Omelas, only with less orgies and more cancer.

    MW: In panel 2 of today’s comic, the role of Delilah will be played by Jay Leno in drag.

    And no, Moy and Giella, you cannot spend several months portraying women as helpless hand-wringers in need of strong male guidance and then balance things out by having someone say “We live in modern times!” Sorry.

  57. UncleJeff
    August 18th, 2009 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    Fascinating old Beetle Bailey, DOLz. What year is that from?
    It looks more like the work of the old men’s mag artist VIP than Mort Walker.
    #3 Gadge Cubic (welcome back!) – I’m also reminded of the SNL “Jeopardy” skit with “Sean Connery” triumphantly requesting the category “The PENIS, mightier than the sword!”

    When in Vancouver, stop at “Funky Winker’s Bean”…where they serve genuine “Booze” brand booze and “April the Bouncy Bartender” (formerly of “For Better Or Worse”) will entertain you while you drink yourself into a coma.

  58. Sequitur
    August 18th, 2009 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft was simply amaizeing.

    What, can’t I do a pun? Hey, what is this, “pick on the guy when he can’t think of a snark” day? Come on, give me a break here. I tell ya, I don’t get any respect (tugs on non-existent tie, wipes non-existent sweat from brow). I gotta get me a new act. Hey, Tracy! Send in the clowns!

  59. queek
    August 18th, 2009 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . . .just unsnarkable today.

    MC: o dear. *dies laughing*

    PBS: clown aversion therapy, anyone?

    6C & Lio both feature Death’s Scythe jokes. Perhaps the only time in history that those strips are mentioned in the same sentence.

    Tank. Drew Stanton is the Lions 3rd string QB, and went to my alma mater. *cries*

    Frazz: I’m not feeling the love for this current arc.

    Speed Bump: o yes it is!

  60. Talking Squirrel
    August 18th, 2009 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    54 Sequitur says: “I think the phrase is, if God were to give the earth an enima, he would stick it in Moose Jaw.”

    Unless they want God to get mighty confused, maybe they should rename it “Moosehole” then.

  61. Ned Ryerson
    August 18th, 2009 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    #42 Mel AKA “Mel”: The In-Laws is a great movie (Peter Falk – Alan Arkin version. I can’t speak to the remake.)

    If any ‘mudgeons have a chance to take a look at this movie, there’s a tiny detail in there that might make you chuckle. During the wedding scene at the end, there’s a brief close-up of the cake and it’s topped by Love Is… bride and groom figurines.

  62. mvg
    August 18th, 2009 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    48: “Next, gasp in amazement at the Determined Delilah as she deftly makes it disappear and reappear. A black belt in Kegel-do is nothing to sniff at.”

    Charley would have sniffed at it, deeply. I miss Charley.

  63. queek
    August 18th, 2009 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    24 can we just send Lynn Johnson to downtown Flint anyways? Benton Harbor, perhaps?

  64. buckyswife
    August 18th, 2009 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    52 Heraldguy: Isn’t that always how it is? You get the guys together, and one guy is bound and powerless, and you have some vigorous tentacle-wrestling going on, and who shows up? The old ball n chain.

  65. commodorejohn
    August 18th, 2009 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    A&J – Wait, wait, wait. Am I reading this right? Is Arlo & Janis blaming the Internet and modern electronic culture as an entity for the demise of the newspaper? Hey, Arlo, you might try pointing the finger at the newspaper industry for, y’know, its blind devotion to continually cutting back on the exclusive content that subscribers want to read to provide content in the areas where it has been rendered utterly superfluous by the Internet. Just a thought.

    Archie – Is that Cammie? Is she getting a speaking role?

    BB – “Send this out on the computer?” Look, Walkers, maybe it would just be easier if your strip remained set in 1950, when real-life computers were running in the kilohertz range and magnetic-core memory was the new trend that would “never catch on” and there was this hot new thing at MIT that let you talk to the computer on a keyboard and a monitor, and fictional computers were all breedles and blinkenlights. You’ll be a lot more comfortable that way. We won’t begrudge you a time-shift, honest.

    Crankshaft – I dunno. Can you call it “lazy” when it’s just one panel, but the panel is covered in corn? I mean, the idea is lazy, but obviously it took at least some work to draw…

    Curtis – Christ, what an asshole.

    DT – Yes, evil demon clown. Even you.

    FW – Hey, look! Children! What are they doing here?

    Luann – STOP IT.

    MT – Quick, someone cue up “Yakety Sax!”

    MW – “Let me rip your mandible off…as a sign of our love!

    SF – …are we sure she’s not actually Ted’s mother?

    SM – Oh man, could this please be another of the storylines where Spider-Man is shown up by his wife? Those never get old.

  66. Chip Whittle
    August 18th, 2009 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G “Tommie means well, but…wait, is she the genially dopey one or am I?

    Mark Trail: The Man Who Shot At Joey Williams is going to feel soooooo silly when he learns that The Man Who Will Soon Punch The Man Who Shot At Joey Williams was simply pointing out the giant talking waterfowl to his dog Andy.

    If I wrote tomorrow’s Spider-Man: Spidey and Doc Ock and Wolvie are distracted a moment by Mary Jane entering. They look back to each other, trying to remember where they were in the squirmy robot tentacle fight. They feel awkward and giggly and realize they’re too self-conscious to carry on now. They end up getting cheesecake at Junior’s on 45th Street. Mary Jane pays for everyone, and Spidey goes home tormented, happy that he ate yet knowing his wife had enough money for desserts because he’s a bad provider.

    Beetle Bailey very nearly makes sense until you wonder where “this” came from that it wasn’t on a computer already.

    Ever since Team Hi and Lois discovered the reinsurance business six centuries after its creation it’s been agog with the comic potential of people who provide expert services to experts.

    Also, Hi is so desperate for non-resentful human contact that he accosts strangers with chameleonic hair to ask what they do, in the forlorn hope someone will show interest in him. The strangers scatter as widely as they can.

    Edge City: Sure it’s harmless fun until they find “CIRBUR” written all over the bathroom mirrors.

    Academia Waltz: goats, for the interested. If you’re interested.

    Big Nate: Hey, we haven’t seen Doctor Cesspool or Nate’s other comics in a while, have we?

    Dog Eat Doug: awww, who’s a cute widdle slightly evil doggie? Yes you are! Yes you are!

  67. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 18th, 2009 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    8/18

    Congratulations to the COTWers. (Couldn’t catch up last night because of [more]laptop problems.) Anyway, today’s funnies.

    M-Dawg: Now they’re just making it too easy.

    A3G: Eric’s death really did affect Margo. Usually there is no escape from her clutches.

    MW: It’s amazing that Delilah still manages to speak with Lawrence’s husbandly hand clamped over her mouth.

    FW: Oh, I see. This is the “Jinx gives hateful old man a fatal heart attack, suffers guilt for life” storyline. I was wondering when we’d get to that one.

    DtM: “I warned her about the hangovers. You party all night on Ralph Lauren’s yacht, you’re gonna feel it in the morning.”

    Archie: Cammy speaks! And the Archie crew must have bribed Matt Groening for permission to use Comic Book Guy.

    MT: Mr. Orange Jeans was distracted when he thought he heard Mark yell “Andy Dick.” Contract or no contract, he wasn’t going to pass up a chance to meet his favorite cast member from Less Than Perfect.

    S-M: What, she’s dropping in to remind him to pick up potatoes on the way home?

    H&L: Okay, so now we know what random commuter we’ll never see again does for a living. As for Hi himself? Well, we can narrow it down to something that involves wearing a tie.

  68. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 18th, 2009 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    #56 TheDiva,
    If only Batiuk had handed Winkerbean over to Ursula Leguin about 15 years ago. If only.

  69. TheDiva
    August 18th, 2009 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    65 commodorejohn re: Crankshaft: Well, let’s be fair–sure, the concept is lazy and the “joke” is tired, but none of the strip’s main characters are present, which means today’s offering is automatically much less hateful and irritating than normal. In fact, it may very well be the best Crankshaft ever.

  70. Chip Whittle
    August 18th, 2009 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    Re: #65 commodorejohn

    I can’t see your reading of Arlo and Janis, there. From where I sit it looks like Arlo is rueing that Janis has given a corny joke (about sitting in a tree being squirrelly) by Jimmy Johnson when there are so many comic strip writers eager for work. You know, the fourth-wall breaking “I can’t believe I have this dialogue” sort of joke.

  71. Sequitur
    August 18th, 2009 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    32. Baka Gaijin
    Now we know which cartoonists read this blog. Since you let on about your phobia, the comics with clowns are out to get you. BWHAHAHAHA

    (Hope Batiuk doesn’t read this. We’ll have clown fairies poofing cancer to one and all in the Funkyverse.)

  72. Amateur
    August 18th, 2009 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    Congrats, Rachel211!

    MT: In what universe is “DUCK!” one of the standard commands you teach your dog?? I’d like to have seen that training session. “Sit! Stay! Roll over! Duck! No, seriously, duck! Quit laughing, Andy, I mean it!”

  73. Sequitur
    August 18th, 2009 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    72. Amateur
    That is funny. Almost spewed the juice.

  74. Sequitur
    August 18th, 2009 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    Archie: Anyone want a fish burger from Clown Food?

  75. Foobaphobe
    August 18th, 2009 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    Curtis is getting really, really weird, man. Like, I want to barf you know? Whoa!

  76. Olz
    August 18th, 2009 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    UncleJeff asked

    Fascinating old Beetle Bailey, DOLz. What year is that from?

    The first one was published 1952/08/30 and the second on 1952/10/23. If you subscribe to the KFS site they have a vintage cartoon section with , “Beetle Bailey”, “Brick Bradford”, “Bringing up Father”, “Buz Sawyer”, “Flash Gordon”, “Krazy Kat”, “Office Hours”, Phantom”, “Rip Kirby”, and “The Little King”. Unfortunately they only post a years worth of each strip, with oldest falling off each day.

  77. Olz
    August 18th, 2009 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    commodorejohn says:

    A&J – Wait, wait, wait. Am I reading this right? Is Arlo & Janis blaming the Internet and modern electronic culture as an entity for the demise of the newspaper? Hey, Arlo, you might try pointing the finger at the newspaper industry for, y’know, its blind devotion to continually cutting back on the exclusive content that subscribers want to read to provide content in the areas where it has been rendered utterly superfluous by the Internet. Just a thought.

    I agree with you completely. When The Washington Post cut their comic section I quit and let them know why. Everytime they call about resubscribing I tell them not until the restore the comics section. The prepaid subscription cards they send me, I write “RESTORE THE COMIC SECTION” on it and drop in the mail. Do you hear me Post, restore the comic section … and while your at it make them big enough to read without a magnifying glass.

  78. commodorejohn
    August 18th, 2009 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    #70 Chip Whittle – Ah. I guess I was just drastically over-thinking it, then.

  79. towels
    August 18th, 2009 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    New reader, first time snarker.

    Anybody else notice the disturbing background imagery in FBOFW today? First the flies and burger guy picking his teeth, but also Lizzie apparently falling, unnoticed.
    She hasn’t taken a bite, or I’d think it’s a recreation from Field of Dreams. (First camping with FC, next to C’shaft’s corn field?)

  80. Sequitur
    August 18th, 2009 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    79. towels
    Welcome towels! (even though you made me look at FBOFW or FOOB or reFOOB as we call it.)
    Snark all you like! We’ll make more.

  81. Muffaroo
    August 18th, 2009 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    Some fine reading up there for somebody who missed the whole week. Good snarking!

    AD – So are they listening to the scores on a bird-powered rock radio (“Awwk! For this I went to night school?”), or are they watching a plasma TV with a slightly rocky look to the border and 21st century technology the rest of the way?

    C2Home – Yeah, I saw ROGER RABBIT too, but I resisted the temptation to repeat its gags in my own strip. In retrospect, that must be why I’m not pulling down the big skins.

    H&Jamaal – The fact she isn’t dead yet is really proof that prayers don’t work, because if she’s praying she doesn’t die, she’s outnumbered by people praying the other way. Like Herb, for instance, and readers of the strip, and whoever runs the KFC franchise in town, and Henery Hawk. (“Please, Lord, that’s the biggest chicken, I ever seen…”)

    MTrail – Wait, when did Race Bannon get into this strip? And will Orangey shout “AIIEEEE!”?

    Mduke – “Rabandon hope, all ree who enter here! HEEheeheehee!”

    MWorth – Uh oh, it’s the semi-erotic laying of hands over the mouth. I don’t really want to know what happens next, but I’ll probably find out anyway.

    R=R – It’s a flying joint with wings! Judging by the trail of smoke, it’s lit, too! Well, that goes a long way toward explaining all the Lucky Charms marshmallows floating around most of the time.

    Sequitur @54 – Ha! Patrick Dennis used a close variant of that phrase in his book Genius, which I recommend wholeheartedly — it’s the third book in the Auntie Mame universe, featuring an Orson Welles-like director down on his luck, and I’d hate to spoil it for anybody so I’ll stop without recounting my favorite bits.

  82. Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball
    August 18th, 2009 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    MT: I still think it’s Severin who draws the animals in the Sunday strips. If I knew where he lives, I’d write him a letter and ask him. Maybe he’s on Facebook?

    And thank you Poteet. At least somebody reads what I have to say on this blog.

    And your comments are always worth reading and laughing at.

    Some general observations, not meant to be funny, but serious: we all take the comics seriously, or we wouldn’t get excited about them. But it is amazing that so many men and women out there make a living producing ths comic dreck every day of the year. Manyof them can’t draw, can’t write, have no sense of humor, never heard of the laws of perspective, cause and effect (or cause and affect), logic etc. etc. There’s no doubt about it, the comic syndciates hire the comically handicapped.

    As Edward Bulwyr-Lytto also said, Sometimes something is so bad, it’s good. This certainly applies to many comic strips — Dick Tracy, for instance. It’scrappy but so entertaining. On the other hand, some strips are so god-damned awful they are below the fourth level of dreck. A new definition of dreck must be applied to these strips. There is no justification for their existance, unless the artist’s uncle Charlie owns the comic syndicate. Cathy comes to my mind, for this category.

    I have quoted Holden Caulfield, in this regard, before. For many strips, we can say, ” It was so putrid I couldn’t take my eyes off of it.” Apartment 3-G, for instance.

    Now, there are a handful of very good and even great strips: Doonesbury, Mutts, um, uh… wait a minute, let’s see… hold on, let me think…

  83. Aviatrix
    August 18th, 2009 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    I’m going to disagree with the comparison between downtown Vancouver (or Moose Jaw!) and inner city Detroit. The difference is that I can walk down the street in East Hastings and while most of the buildings are shuttered and people will try to sell me drugs and sex, I’m not going to be mugged for my shoes. The most likely horrible thing to happen to me in the downtown east side would be if I were driving and someone wandered out in front of my car and I hit them. So sort of like northern Alberta except with humans instead of moose.

    I remember biking through there once and there was a little group of American tourists on a corner, obviously having taken a wrong turn on the way to Chinatown, and they looked really frightened as they asked us for directions. Like just looking at destitute people was going to hurt them.

    Maybe it’s changed since I’ve been there last, but generally if you’re not buying and you’re not selling then people just leave you alone.

  84. Baka Gaijin
    August 18th, 2009 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    #71 Sequitur: Great, just great. If anyone ever wonders why I never share my deep dark secrets…

  85. Ziggy
    August 18th, 2009 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    I’ve got a deep dark secret.
    I’M NOT WEARING PANTS!

  86. zooby
    August 18th, 2009 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    Aviatrix:

    Well, to be fair, I don’t see anybody directly comparing East Hastings to inner-city Detroit, just saying it’s a bad ‘hood. I think you’re right. The people who live there are more destitute than dangerous and it’s sad. The other areas I mentioned though… I’d put them up there with Detroit. I sure wouldn’t walk around North Central Regina by myself at night.

    In other comics related news, I can’t believe the shooter missed Mark again! I’m going to downgrade him from shooter to aimer.

  87. RSR
    August 18th, 2009 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    Those old Beetle Bailey strips make a whole lot more sense once I realized they were two strips and not one Sunday panel. I spent a good ten minutes trying to puzzle them out.

  88. Vince M
    August 18th, 2009 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    #42 Mel AKA “Mel”: Shel Serpentine? Isn’t he the hipster poet/children’s author in My Cage?

  89. Sequitur
    August 18th, 2009 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    Just got back from lunch. Went to Clown Food™ Got the hampster on a stick with a side order of fried grout. Washed it down with an oilee. Recommended by Jughead. Yum.

  90. Sequitur
    August 18th, 2009 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    “Hampster on a Stick – Crunchy fun for everyone ”
    ©2009 Clown Food Inc.

  91. sugarpie
    August 18th, 2009 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    Muffaroo, 81 Leander Starr is a favorite fictional character, and Genius is indeed a great read. Though what a strange personal life P. Dennis had. I recently read an interview with his son (an MD) who seems to have grown up all right, despite it all.

  92. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    August 18th, 2009 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    FW- Jinx is stealing signs from the opposing coach? Won’t that tick off her “play by the rules” coach/father?

    Ah, who cares, as long as somebody has a heart attack by friday?

  93. Moxford
    August 18th, 2009 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    I drank in Funky Winker Bean’s a few times in the ’70s and ’80s and it was a pretty decent place. Much more fun than Crank Shaft’s just down the street, which is full of grumpy old men making bilious cracks about how miserable their lives are.

  94. Sam13
    August 18th, 2009 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    Love, love the COTW!
    And Poteet, I hadn’t looked at 9CW for a while, but after your comment, I couldnt resist. As Cathy would say, ACK!. :)

  95. Mibbitmaker
    August 18th, 2009 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    #93 (Moxford): That makes sense. Funky Winkerbean was a pretty decent place in the ’70s and ’80s, too.

  96. Marion Delgado
    August 19th, 2009 at 3:33 am [Reply]

    Gott in Himmel (german expression meaning “to put a snorkel in your privates”) the Beetle Bailey crew is not just “Queer as Folk” .. they’re queer as f__k!

  97. Anonymous
    August 19th, 2009 at 7:46 am [Reply]

    I don’t know why, but I have never been to Funky Winkerbeans, but it was an attempt to clean up that part of town, but when Save on Meats closed, it went bad. When it opened,it was modeled after Cheers.

    On the other hand, Pat’s Pub,which had been the dive-iest of dives, is now a live music venue, with lines out the door.

  98. Hogenmogen
    August 19th, 2009 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    eh. I’m not a float rider this week. And I was so sure that I had a good zinger … wait, that was 2006.

    Congrats funny people! I’ll just stand on the side and catch your candy.

  99. rocketbride
    August 19th, 2009 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    i feel that the wedding denouement is more likely to involve betty holding veronica and jughead over distant perils, so that archie has to choose between his fiancee and his lover. please let that mean that betty will be wearing something that batman creators think is appropriate for an angry, betrayed woman, and that the latex is suitably skimpy.

  100. Winnie
    August 19th, 2009 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    We’ve taken over Funky Winker Beans.

    Every Saturday:
    http://nomorestrangers.ca

    Home of the $1.50 beer

  101. Kahootz
    August 19th, 2009 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    Wait. Hold on. Did I see stippling in that old Beetle Bailey strip? There’s no way because that would imply artistic methods were–at one point in time–used in the creation of Beetle Bailey. I don’t know if I can comprehend that possibility.

  102. Just the Comics, Sir
    August 19th, 2009 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    Life’s too short to waste on Funky Winkerbean. Or Crankshaft for that matter.

Comments are closed for this post.