The Comics Curmudgeon

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Soaps ’n’ mopes

Mary Worth, 12/14/09

Mary Worth’s decision to ignore the rich visual storytelling possibilities of Wilbur’s swinging past and instead present us with the soul-crushingly dull visual storytelling possibilities of Wilbur’s chair-bound present persists, to the point that I fear the whole plotline is supposed to be some deliberately reader-hostile piece of avant garde art. Today’s strip captures the electrifying moment that occurs when you get a message from someone who might be your bastard son via Facebook. Wilbur’s canny “Your mother probably would have told me if I had knocked her up” gambit has been deftly parried by a “Yeah, except maybe you did knock her up though” maneuver. In panel two, Wilbur, brow furrowed, carefully plots his next move. As a result, this panel looks like the only thing less visually interesting than somebody playing chess, which is somebody playing metaphorical chess, over the Internet.

Funky Winkerbean, 12/14/09

Now, my first thought upon reading this was “Ah ha, homophobic bullying — the next frontier of Funky Winkerbean-based misery!” But I realized upon reflection that in the Winkerverse it is no doubt literally against the law to refer to a mornin’, or day, or really any time-based interval, as “beautiful,” or to imply in any way that a moment of our existence in this world can or should be enjoyed.

Mark Trail, 12/14/09

Mary Worth may be taking a promising sex scandal story and drowning it in a bathtub full of Wilbur’s typing fingers and serious expressions, but Mark Trail is spinning a pedestrian premise — oh, no, flat tire! — into panel after panel of visual delight. Did this dude just manage to somehow hit Mark in the forehead with a wrench while gripping it from the bottom and standing behind him? Sure, why not?

It’s interesting to note that Mark’s usual total invulnerability to fisticuffs seems to be slipping. Is it possible that, despite all his “oh, it’s for the greater good” talk, Mark’s powers are useless when he’s engaged in anti-social behavior?

Crankshaft, 12/14/09

Today will go down in history as the day that the word “amphetamines” appeared in Crankshaft. I have no idea what if anything this presages, but it makes me simultaneously giddy and uneasy.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/14/09

Aw, little Sarah is learning how to be judgmental! That’s how she was raised, after all. Don’t look sheepish, girl; it’s your birthright.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 14, 2009 at 05:39 pm and is filed under Crankshaft, Funky Winkerbean, Mark Trail, Mary Worth, Rex Morgan, M.D.. |

157 responses to “Soaps ’n’ mopes”

Chyron HR
December 14th, 2009 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

“Who’s singing a show tune?” Oh, Batiuk, if you don’t care who the Funky Winkerbean: The Next ~~Tumor~~ Generation cast are, why the hell should we?
Ed Dravecky
December 14th, 2009 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

Is it wrong that I want to see Crankshaft locked in an actual cage with 60 squirrels hopped up on amphetamines? No, I didn’t think so either.
Sequitur
December 14th, 2009 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

MT: I like that little “Jack Dance” Mark is doing in panel one.
Patrick
December 14th, 2009 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

I love the three little sad baloons on Sarah’s otherwise stark-white walls. It’s like her captors have only allowed her enough hope to emphasize the misery.
Sequitur
December 14th, 2009 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

Think about squirrels. Think about amphetamines. Squirrels do not need amphetamines. They are pre-amphetamized.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 14th, 2009 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

205 queek & 206 Sequitur: Excellent! But: “usually sarcastic”?

211 B. Racoon: Don’t worry—you’re among non-racoon-eating friends.
Foolster41
December 14th, 2009 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

MT: Mark says out loud “I’m taking this to save a boy who’s life is at stake, and I intend to pay him back, I hope he understands” but despite that Mr. wrench-happy-shopkeep goes at mark anyway. Maybe he’s in a being-a-dick contest with Rex Morgan.

Crankshaft/FW: Crank hates happy people who enjoy the holidays. Perhaps FW and Crank’s schools are one in the same, and crank is the one demanding to know who is singing those infernal show tunes are.

RMMD: Speaking of being-a-dick contest, great parenting mom. Instead of talking to your kid about not judging outward appearances you blame her parents.
rachel
December 14th, 2009 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

at first i read “sixty squirrels in an amphetamine cage.” which presents the question: would Crankshaft be more likely to use his bus as a meth lab, or to use his passengers as test subjects? i’m going with the latter.
Brent
December 14th, 2009 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

5, Sequitur:

Isn’t that The Shaft’s point? That we’re not just talking speed, we’re talking speed on speed bad.
Baka Gaijin
December 14th, 2009 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

Has anyone seen Jamus the Bartender and Bob Weber, Jr. in the same room at the same time? I don’t mean one is in the room, then has to go to the bathroom, then the other shows up a la “I Love Lucy.” Both standing side by side, tossing salmon squares or quaffing Potato-Ade or something?

I thought not.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 14th, 2009 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

7 Foolster41, re: MT—If you came upon a guy stealing an Old Jack and muttering to himself about payback and understanding, wouldn’t you be even more inclined to crack him over the head?
rachel
December 14th, 2009 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

also: Herb & Jamaal, holiday guest writer Tom Batiuk.
bad wolf
December 14th, 2009 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

@7,11: i always imagine Mark’s external internal dialogue to be carried in a loud, clear, unmistakable voice.
Sequitur
December 14th, 2009 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

8. rachel
“sixty squirrels in an amphetamine cage”
Yo, ho, ho, and a bottle of rum.

9. Brent
Oh, yeah. Cranky’s got a point all right. If he takes off his hat you can see it.
Steve S
December 14th, 2009 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

Next week, Wilbur refuses to allow the Facebook DNA Test application access to his personal data!
farnsworth
December 14th, 2009 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

The guy swinging the wrench is:

1. Clean shaven, with tiny sideburns

2. Justified in apprehending the person who is ransacking his shop

3. Either incredibly weak, or a murderer

4. Also responsible for the loss of Rusty’s leg, if not his life, since even a weak blow will incapacitate Mark for long enough to have dire consequences for Rusty

How can this storyline possibly fail to disappoint when both Rusty and Mark manage to survive unscathed?
McManx
December 14th, 2009 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

M Worth — Discovering he’s got a bastard out there must be traumatic — I’m pretty sure Wilbur is holding his nose because he just crapped his pants.

M Trail — Fists ‘o justice vs. wrench-in-the-back-o’-the-head? Mark’s going to be out for a while. Bad news – Rusty drowns pinned under the car at high tide; good news – at least the body can’t float out to sea.

C Shaft — With 60 squirrels on amphetamines in your bus, no wonder he hates to drive. It’s hard to steer when you need both hands to cover your nuts.
gleeb
December 14th, 2009 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

Wrench of Justice!
Farley\s Revenge
December 14th, 2009 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

#11<bb,u:

If you came upon a guy stealing an Old Jack and muttering to himself about payback and understanding, wouldn’t you be even more inclined to crack him over the head?

Especially if he was stealing all the Jack Daniels.

What convenience store has old bumper jacks lying around? The Old Home Fill ‘Er Up & Keep on Trucking store?*

*With a nod to C.W. McCall
dmac
December 14th, 2009 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

It won’t be long ’til Crankshaft is just an all-drug, all-the time comic. “Today’s bus ride was just like 15 alligators on esctasy!” “My day was weirder than a monkey who just smoked crack!” “Oh, man, I am so high on LSD right now!”
Dr. Pill
December 14th, 2009 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

Instead of just coming up from behind and saying “What the hell are you doing?”, the guy hits Mark with something the CSI will identify as a “heavy, blunt object” when they investigate the murder scene. Of course, this if Mark Trail, so his head likely will be hard enough to absorb most of the killing blow, allowing him after some moments of confusion to plead “Rusty is trapped under my car on the beach and the tide’s coming in!” to which Mr. Badwrench will say “Any car will get rusty if you leave it on a beach, moron!”
Wilbur
December 14th, 2009 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

Today’s Mary Worth only reminds me of the chess games I play with my little nephew. We inevitably just move our knights back and forth for about a week until we’re in exactly the same place we started.
TheDiva
December 14th, 2009 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

MW–”Dear Kurt: Are you familiar with the phrase ‘town bicycle’…?”
rachel
December 14th, 2009 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

also also (should really learn to combine my comments but i am still a newbie): re: True Fable et. al. @ yesterthread & Zits– weren’t you sixteen once? of course Jeremy doesn’t know how good he’s got it, but that’s how it goes. every sixteen year-old thinks life is unfair. i did (i still do five years later albeit for very different reasons).
Mustang
December 14th, 2009 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

MW- Plotting? I thought he was starting to gag at the rememberance of having sex with the sort of woman who would … you know… have sex with him.
bman
December 14th, 2009 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

It’s hard to believe that smashing a burglar’s skull is a legal method of apprehension. Maybe there’s a “Castle Doctrine” in Lost Forest, and this storekeeper was a bit enthusiastic in his right to use deadly force to protect his property.
bup
December 14th, 2009 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

Elrod really missed an opportunity in panel two to have some foreground grocery store vermin tell us “I’m sure he’ll understand when I tell him a boy’s life was at stake.”

Otherwise, it’s a pitch-perfect MT entry.
JC Lisbon
December 14th, 2009 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

“Hey, who’s singing a showtune?” is actually the missing lyric from the theme song to “Shaft.” And I think we all know the answer.
Farley's Revenge
December 14th, 2009 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

#13 bad wolf:

i always imagine Mark’s external internal dialogue to be carried in a loud, clear, unmistakable voice.

I used to know a guy who talked all the time. I’m not kidding, he talked ALL the time. If the words were running through his brain, they were coming out of his mouth. One time I saw him walking along, talking away to no one. Everyone knew and understood this tendency of his because he was a great guy with a generous heart.

I doubt we would have cut Mark the same slack, just because he’s Mark Trail, Exhibit A of why some people shouldn’t be allowed out without a keeper(In MT’s case, that role is fulfilled by Andy).
KarMann
December 14th, 2009 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

Reposted Groovy Blinkerlegume: Oh no, I just realized who that is off-panel asking about the showtune-singing. It’s that Les-stalking drama teacher, I forget the name. She’s doing casting for their musical production of Wit!
Jamus The Bartender
December 14th, 2009 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

10. Oh dear…..no, we’re separate individuals, and the folks I met, Dingo, Spider Brick,et al, at Mudgecon 07 can attest to that.
Farley's Revenge
December 14th, 2009 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

I finally got around to looking at the TV Tropes site. Damn, but it’s easy to kill a lifetime there, isn’t it?
Anonymous
December 14th, 2009 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

MW: In panel two, it looks like Wilbur is finally realizing that sitting in front of a computer for a solid week without taking a bath is not the best idea. That also explains why no one else has been seen in the strip since this saga began.

RMMD: And what kind of shitty relationship do you have with your aunt that you refer to her as “my mother’s sister”? I would assume that Sarah would have at least a rudimentary knowledge of her family tree, so even if Sarah had never met Brook, “your great-aunt Ethel’s daughter” would cover it much better. Of course, I would also assume that Rex and June aren’t total dicks to people who aren’t Rex and June, and I would be wrong.
Sequitur
December 14th, 2009 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

17. McManx
i.e. C Shaft – Ha! You’ve been channeling Letterman!
(Actually, that made me snork.)
Dragon of Life
December 14th, 2009 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

Wilbur, like the rest of the universe, realizes that the e-dialogue stinks.
Apt 3G is for lovers
December 14th, 2009 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

June Morgan sounds like my Spanish homework.

Q: Es la hija de la hermana de mi mamá.

A: Es mi prima.
Farley's Revenge
December 14th, 2009 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

MW: Y’know, when I hover my fingers above the keyboard, nothing happens. Too bad the same can’t be said of Wilbur.
NoVan
December 14th, 2009 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

Msrk Trail: If the store owner was creeping up behind Mark, wouldn’t he have heard him explaining the situation?
Sequitur
December 14th, 2009 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

Speaking of raccoons, I did not know this.
cheech wizard
December 14th, 2009 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

MT – It seems that post-1960s vehicles and fashions are not the only contemporary things that are missing from the Mark Trail universe – it would appear that such hi-tech developments as thought balloons are unknown as well. Unless Mark really was speaking out loud, in which case we can hardly blame the aggrieved store owner for cold-cocking him with a pipe wrench, since that’s the only safe thing to do when you come across a strange man muttering to himself.
TruthOfAngels
December 14th, 2009 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

“A son? But I’ve never known a lady in the Biblical sense. Unless . . . of course! The stork! That crafty bastard! Right, time to buy a gun. And then learn to shoot the gun. And then learn not to pee my pants when I shoot the gun. And then kill that fucking stork. Yeah, that’s the ticket.”
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
December 14th, 2009 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

Baka Gaijin #10: I can attest that Jamus the Bartendar and Bob Weber, Jr. are not the same person. Jamus the Bartender is far cuter (sorry, Bob, but Jamus has facial hair). Jamus has those swarthy good looks that all young women swoon for and fathers globally despise. Place your daughter in his hands and she’ll be speaking Latin before the night is done!
Baka Gaijin
December 14th, 2009 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

#31 Jamus: Yes, they saw you but did they see Mr. Weber, Jr., at the table, too? Was he “conveniently” at the bar ordering tiki drinks while you were at the table, then you “conveniently” had to step out for a smoke just before Bob returned with the drinks? Hmmmm.
cheech wizard
December 14th, 2009 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

39/Sequitur – Actually, that’s quite true, except it involved chasing them into trees with dogs, then blasting ‘em.
Mr. Majestyk
December 14th, 2009 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

Where can I get a set of those windows that make everything inside all sepia-toned? It makes Wilbur’s den look like an internet-enabled Old West saloon.
KarMann
December 14th, 2009 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

@Dingo… #42: OK, I took 4 years of Latin back in secondary school, and I don’t know of this “speaking Latin before the night is done” phrase. I think the meaning is pretty obvious from context; any idea how it comes to be taken that way?
PeteMoss
December 14th, 2009 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

Ha, ha! That’s the second time in just a day or so that Mark Trail has been knocked-out by someone smacking his skull with a blunt object. By Sunday the brain damage should seem obvious:

“The TITMOUSE will devour EVERY bit of its prey before CONATACTING THE National Atmospheric SAINT Bernard or NAMBLA!!! As many of YOU readers know, Cherry NEEDS love LONG time but forest fires need KELP… CARDINAL… JERK YOUR HEAD BACK AND FORTH!!! SQUID ARE FLYING OUT…OF…THE…OCEAN FOR GOD SAKE!!
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
December 14th, 2009 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

KarMann #46: The phrase I used would only make sense if you had committed the movie Dangerous Liaisons to memory (known in Australia as Sassy Lasses!). After Uma Thurman succumbs to John Malkovich, he has her reclining on the bed and says, “Let’s begin with the Latin” or something to that effect. Hmm… fellatio, cunnilingus… typical third date activities unless you’re a lesbian (where the third date is returning the U-haul).
Écureuil Écumant
December 14th, 2009 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

A couple of cross-strip shoutouts today:

The Fist o’ Justice (Dilbert)
and
“Monkey Paws” Dick (Brewster Rockit)
Écureuil Écumant
December 14th, 2009 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

And BTW, wouldn’t “Amphetamine Squirrels” be an apropos thrash band name?
Digger
December 14th, 2009 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

Oh, Crankshaft, you’re the Ebenezer Scrooge of school bus drivers!

MT: What’s going to happen next? Will Mark awaken in a bathtub full of ice and short a kidney? Will he be prepared for sacrifice by a sadistic cult? There are many different ways Elrod could take this story, but I’m sure he’ll find the dullest one.
Jamus The Bartender
December 14th, 2009 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

42, 43. Thanks, Dingo. This must be what Clark Kent feels like….
odinthor
December 14th, 2009 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

#45. Mr. Majestyk. –

Where can I get a set of those windows that make everything inside all sepia-toned? It makes Wilbur’s den look like an internet-enabled Old West saloon.

I like to think that he’s living in a urine-filled aquarium. Um, urinarium, that is. Which would explain why he’s holding his nose.
Nekrotzar
December 14th, 2009 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

In MW, I enjoy how everyone is working so hard to avoid the fundamentally important question of whether Wilbur and the stranger’s mother ever did the Mysterious Thing That Makes Babies Happen, but I really love how a story line that is forcing Wilbur to relive events in his distant past contains a monochrome-tinted flashback panel to events that occurred … six seconds ago.
lightglobe
December 14th, 2009 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

Hmmm, I see Mark Trail’s spider-sense works as well as Spidey’s.
tb4000
December 14th, 2009 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

Rexy: My mother’s sister’s youngest daughter’s brother’s uncle twice removed on my father’s side. Aka my pimp.
Mr. O'Malley
December 14th, 2009 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

I suppose it’s a waste of time to try to do a rational analysis of the goings-on in Mark Trail, but what’s been bothering me since last night is the size of that pipe wrench. If you wanted to seriously damage someone, like fracture their skull, you’d hit them with a big pipe wrench about two feet long. (I have one of those that I bought years ago for one single task that I don’t even remember any more.)

On the other hand, if you hit somebody with a six inch pipe wrench like the kind that I use fairly often, you’d just draw some blood and make them mad.

The. Old Deserted Storekeeper has an in-between size, about 12 inches long, that leaves you thinking “it mightn’t do that much damage if it were made of aluminum“.

I guessing, however, that it’s just the right size to ratchet up the insanity with the old “being hit on the head gives you amnesia” plot device.

Josh’s point about the arc of the wrench’s travel going in front of Mark’s head only adds to the weirdness.
Nekrotzar
December 14th, 2009 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

#29 – I once knew a guy like that. He was a chef at a breakfast place across the street from where I was living. He was constantly ranting to his pancakes, usually about the Red Sox or the Celtics, to the extent that he was at all comprehensible. I just figured he was completely but benevolently insane, until the evening I saw him leading a blues band, doing Robert Johnson using a shot glass as a slide. Man, he could play.
Joe Blevins
December 14th, 2009 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

First, I’ve gotta tip my hat to Apt 3G is for lovers at #36. Very funny and very true.

MW: Am I the only one that thought Wilbur was making the classic “P.U.” nose-holding gesture? The only people I’ve ever seen do that in real life are little kids imitating old Warners cartoons. On the other hand, Wilbur is one of several adult males in the Worth-iverse who resemble Porky Pig, so it’s possible.

MT: “I’m sure he’ll understand when I tell him a boy’s life was at stake.” But, Mark, you just did tell him! You said it aloud in full voice, as is your wont, and he couldn’t have been standing more than three or four inches away. And you’ve recently proven to us that you can indeed think things without saying them aloud, so this was definitely audible. Maybe the wrench guy is just a disgruntled reader…?
One-eyed Wolfdog
December 14th, 2009 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

Wilbur: “Never mind any potential illegitimate offspring I might have, these fingers are delicious!”
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 14th, 2009 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

On the Mark Trail cumulative-head-injury topic:
There’s been plenty written recently about the long-term effects of head injuries suffered by athletes (including a fabulous New Yorker piece by Malcolm Gladwell this fall). Most of what’s been written has focused on football players, but it’s becoming increasingly obvious not considering “nature writers” is a significant omission.
PeteMoss
December 14th, 2009 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

Listening to Crankshaft jokes is like listening to a sea-sick mule on an asthma inhaler…or a ‘69 Ford Galaxy on Jagermeister…or an in-sink-arator on gumballs…or a box of lemurs chewing on chalk.
Alan's Addiction
December 14th, 2009 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

I think that the team of writers and artists behind “Mary Worth” have decided to represent the turmoil and conflict between Wilbur and his Internet son via the garish, clashing background colors. In the background today, you’ll see horrible salmon pink curtains, bright green plants (and books and shirt), and a wall that I can only describe as “puke-colored.” I can only hope that the artists abandon this concept before we’re all rendered blind.
Actually, I agree with the nameless oppressor in the third panel of today’s “Funky Winkerbean.” Show tunes should never, ever, ever be sung, or played, or performed, or anything. Finally, a point of common agreement between Tom Batuik and I.
I’m not sure that Mark Trail is really being hurt. I think that’s a look more of pain and rage; I’m fairly certain that Mark’s carefully-sculpted hair is impenetrable to physical objects (and verbal communication). Anyway, I applaud wrench-man for the attempt; if nothing else, hopefully it’ll teach Mark that villains with easily-observable facial hair aren’t really the ones to be wary of, it’s the clean-shaven scoundrels who blend in that are the real enemies.
I can see that Crankshaft put some thought into that metaphor. I can only hope that he developed it under careful scientific scrutiny, because the thought of the ‘Shaft wrestling with drug-fueled rodents makes me smile.
I applaud June Morgan for directly referencing “Space Balls” with that needlessly verbose explanation of familial relationships. She could’ve easily said, “My cousin,” or, “My aunt’s daughter,” or even, “She’s that lady we don’t talk about at family gatherings, sweetie.” I’m certain that any of those explanations would’ve cleared things up for young Sarah.
One-eyed Wolfdog
December 14th, 2009 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

Just think what a different and interesting comic we would have if Crankshaft had referred to “sexy squirrels on amphetamines in a small cage” instead. It certainly does conjure up some imagery! Gosh.
VALIS
December 14th, 2009 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

MT: Well, that’s what you get for not even trying the doorbell. Actually I doubt Mark will hold the whole “savagely hit a stranger with a wrench” episode against the store owner, if someone understands self-righteous violence it’s him. Probably he’ll find the poor sod a job as a forest ranger or something.
cheech wizard
December 14th, 2009 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

MW – So is Wilbur deep in thought contemplating his latest missive? Or is this latest storyline so maudlin and predictable that the stench is making even him hold his nose?
ElkMeadow
December 14th, 2009 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

MW–I remember in the ’60’s, when people would write to Dear Abby, asking if they could have gotten a girl preggers by heavy kissing. Looks like Wilbur believes it.

I think it’s hilarious that the other guy is going “I NEED to see you IN PERSON. RIGHT NOW!” It’s been years since you were conceived, kiddo. A couple more decades (about when this arc will conclude) won’t make any more difference.

And where is Dawn in all this? Last week she was thought ballooning about her dad’s first entry being a hoax. Didn’t she tell him? Or is she going to stand silently by while Daddy sends a few $Ks to this stranger for back child support and to make up for not being there when he was growing up?

Heck, states were going after dead-beat dads in the eighties (but rarely before), so your mom could have registered Wilbur back then. Ask for a copy of birth certificate, and arrange for a DNA test. But this is Mary Worth, so nooooooo.
cheech wizard
December 14th, 2009 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

MW – I think what we have here is that some far-sighted Nigerian exchange student copied down every name he found scrawled in a university toilet stall back in the 60s – and with the advent of the Internet, he is finally cashing in.
mr 12 oz can
December 14th, 2009 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

all mark did was look in the window he never knocked on the door like your suppose to. he then threw the beer keg through the window which i guess made the creepy shop owner hide in the shadows till mark came into take the magic jack. by the way this is marks second concussion in a month so the nfl will make him sit out the next game .
ElkMeadow
December 14th, 2009 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

And in MT, Andy wriggles out from underneathe the car, and he and Sassy hitch a ride to the Big City, and turn themselves in to Child Protective Services as A Lost Boy from Chad and his pet carnivore, and get jobs at Big Box.
One-eyed Wolfdog
December 14th, 2009 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

There’s not much that could come after “June is not amused…” which wouldn’t make me nod quietly and think “No, she sure wouldn’t amused by that, would she? No sir!” I mean, I can’t think of anything, really.
mr 12 oz can
December 14th, 2009 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

i like how wilber is so disturbed about this email that he has moved the computer to the other side of the room .plus his fondness for green shirts shows he would dearly love to go out to dinner with dr jeff.
The Ridger
December 14th, 2009 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

People, people, people. Has no one considered that wrench-man knows it’s Rusty whose life is at stake?
Violet
December 14th, 2009 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

I will be the first to concede that college is often a time of free-spirited experimentation and what-have-you, and I’m sure we all made some…interesting choices. But I have to say the idea of a chick who was simultaneously banging so many dudes she has no idea who fathered her son and the additional fact that one of them was Wilbur has kind of broadened the meaning of the term “indiscriminate” for me.
Carlo
December 14th, 2009 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

I love the fact that Wilbur’s fart is so bad that even he has to cover his nose.
Jeff Soesbe (yeff)
December 14th, 2009 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

“I didn’t mean her habits, Mom. I meant that she’s kind of fat.”

“Yes she is, honey. Remember, cosmetic surgery is your best friend. Now, let’s finish your chemical peel and get ready for bed.”

- yeff
Generallylurking
December 14th, 2009 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

So Mark Trail has had like two blows to the head, which left him unconscious within, real time, about two days. He better come off the strip until cleared by a doctor or risk permanent brain damage.
Oh, too late.
teddytoad
December 14th, 2009 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

FW: It can’t be homophobic bullying, because whoever recognizes the ubiquitous “O What a Beautiful Morning” as a show tune is likely gayer than the person singing it.

RMMD: Christ, June, are you getting paid by the word or something? “Cousin on my mother’s side.” Boom. Done.
Iconoclast
December 14th, 2009 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

My favorite part of today’s Mark Trail is that Mark clearly spoke out loud that he was breaking in because a boy’s life is at stake. And the dude hit him with the wrench anyway.
Lenoxus
December 14th, 2009 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

I searched this page for “typo” and “a with” and got no results, so if this is redundant, well… I did my darnedest. Anyway, “hit Mark in the forehead a with wrench” should be “with a wrench”.

Um, I can’t think of anything clever to add so I don’t come off as a jerk. Grr.
Chip
December 14th, 2009 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

I LOVE Wilbur’s face in panel 2- It’s as if he’s thinking to himself “He’s not going to go away! This stinks!” and is subconsciously holding his nose.

All he really needs to do to get rid of this person is to send him a current photo. (Or a picture of Dick Van Patten from Eight is Enough.)
Sequitur
December 14th, 2009 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

75. Carlo
It’s those damned salmon squares,
shermy glamrocker
December 14th, 2009 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

Good point #65 VALIS and #69 mr 12 oz can.

Did he even TRY ringing a doorbell, knocking on the window, or yelling “Hello” before demolishing a plate-glass window at a place of business. After all, the proprietor was in the shop. “It’s probably been closed a long time.” Yeah, like since 7 p.m. the day before.
odinthor
December 14th, 2009 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

#80. Lenoxus. –

Hm. You could go the “with a wench” route, as in: Josh, I think you meant “with a wrench,” not “a with wrench.” Doubtless, like me, your mind was wandering to thoughts of hitting Mark in the forehead with a wench, and it momentarily blew a fuse.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 14th, 2009 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

83 shermy glamrocker: But this is Mark “Punch First, Ask Questions Later” Trail!

Doorbells are for suckers.
Chip
December 14th, 2009 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

MT- This is the second time in a long weekend that Mark’s been knocked unconscious by a blunt object! IF he survives, he’s sure to have some amount of brain damage. Maybe we’ll see him wandewring around talking to himself… Wait..
cj
December 14th, 2009 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

Worth:
Wilbur isn’t plotting his next move – he’s holding back his own bile. His progeny just showed him 2 Girls 1 Cup.

Trail:
The repairman did hit Mark in the forehead – he has detachable flying arms.

Shaft:
The gargoyle’s mind is so twisted that he can only conceive of childish exuberance as substance-induced. Hope that he can contain his boiling rage at true joy for another week, and fly the bus off the rim of Death Canyon AFTER winter break has begun.

June Morgan:
So, rather than naming her daughter with the traditional spelling, which has long been sullied by its popularity in the adult film industry, June’s aunt opted instead for “seasonal watercourse”.
Poteet
December 14th, 2009 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

MW — I seldom notice architectural bloopers in comics. But even I can see the absurdity in The Very Large Window That Leaps From The Right Of Wilbur To The Left Of Wilbur. And it’s a good thing, because it’s the only interesting thing about today’s strip. How much longer is Wilbur going to just sit there? Won’t he need to take a dump eventually?

Oh dear. I just noticed that he’s holding his nose.
scott
December 14th, 2009 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

Jack Elrod has finally gone all Tarentino on us. I can’t wait for the scene when Mark wakes up taped to the chair with the ball gag in his mouth.
ChristianPinko
December 14th, 2009 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

Why, as I live and breathe, I do believe that today’s Mark Trail art was lifted directly from the poacher storyline — the September 17 strip, to be exact. (Have a look:http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20090917&name=Mark_Trail). Good to see Mr. Elrod practices recycling!
Lawyerbob
December 14th, 2009 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

MT: It looks like “Old Jack” didn’t like Mark insulting him like that.

MW: Josh, you may find this story visually boring, but I for one have never before seen such a graphic depiction of the phrase “I just threw up in my mouth.”

FW: That offstage shout is from Charlie, who has left Charterstone on a quest for other Rodgers & Hammerstein lovers. It figures that he’d look in a high school.
Chromium
December 14th, 2009 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

I like how the mysterious “shading” in the second panel turns out to be pure hatred emanating from Crankshaft’s head.
nyccine
December 14th, 2009 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

At first, I thought June was going for a “Spaceballs” reference, then I caught the “…my cousin!” line, and realised she was just being a dick to her kid; obviously, Sarah, being neither Rex nor June, must be mentally handicapped and still require a detailed explanation of familial relations.

Which, of course, does not mean she shouldn’t get a proper lesson on looking down on people who aren’t her.

Meanwhile, over in Judge Parker-land, we’re well into month two of “Jesus-tapdancing-Christ, how has this asshole not been hauled to jail for obstruction of justice yet?”
Carly
December 14th, 2009 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

Mark should have used a little more bold while he was talking to himself there so that the garage owner could hear him.
mr 12 oz can
December 14th, 2009 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

is the reason there was jack in a grocery store was to jack up the prices for tourist season . lol thank you ladies and germs
wossname
December 14th, 2009 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

211 B. Racoon – Don’t blame the messenger – blame Irma Rombauer. (And Ecureuil Ecumant for reminding me of it.)
Anonamuse
December 14th, 2009 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

teddytoad @ 78:

CotW or at least the float for your comment on RMMD. Very funny!
TheDiva
December 14th, 2009 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

51 Digger: Faulty analogy. Ebenezer Scrooge had a small spark of human feeling left in his withered old soul–it took supernatural means to rekindle it, but it was there–and Crankshaft has none. Look for him to be dragging a chain of broken mailboxes and burnt-out grills behind him in the afterlife.
LUJBEM FEJF
December 14th, 2009 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

#(106) Dave Dravecky- I am honored. You’re now one of my favorite Curmudgeons. Don’t blow it.
Tom T.
December 14th, 2009 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

I’m surprised Josh didn’t pick up on today’s 9CWL. Clearly, the silhouette shows that the German soldier Gran fell in love with was Adolf Hitler.
Écureuil Écumant
December 14th, 2009 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

MT: Mark’s problem is that he’s stumbled into a safehouse where G. Gordon Liddy is hiding out. (Note the symbolism of the plumbers’ tool wielded by Libby.) You in a peck o’ trouble now, son.

OK, so this is how Libby looked in ‘72. I realize that makes it anachronistic. But I couldn’t find any shots of him from ‘62.
Baron Bizarre
December 14th, 2009 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

#58 Nekrotzar: Hey, any Red Sox fan much over the age of ten has spent time screaming at their breakfast – I know I have.
LUJBEM FEJF
December 14th, 2009 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

#99 Oh yeah, I meant, Ed. Maybe I was thinking about someone else. Anyway, it was very nice of you, you guy you.
cheech wizard
December 14th, 2009 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

100 – Hitler was never captured. That’s Rudolf Hess.
Aviatrix
December 14th, 2009 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

ChristianPinko #90 Nice find! The two images are eerily similar, yet at the same time intriguingly different. It’s like Mark Trail meets Slylock Fox. Looking only at Mark and neglecting the twin head-bashing antagonists, my top six differences: 1. upper teeth visible 2. undershirt 3. adam’s apple 4. collar shading and positioning 5. stray locks of hair 6. eye bag radius.

This leaves me with the question, does Jack Elrod so closely follow his own “how to draw Mark being hit over the head” instructions that he produced these almost identical panels independently, or did he copy the panel but make all those little changes?
Foolster41
December 14th, 2009 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

@11, bourbon babe: Perhaps, except the “Boy’s life at stake part”
@13, badwolf: Yep, me too.
@73, the ridger: Actually, yeah that has crossed my mind.

Also, I want to add it seems Mark Trail is entering the class of heros of the likes of Spiderman, though to be fair at least Mark Trail does go around claiming having any sort of special senses.
Aviatrix
December 14th, 2009 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

Oops, accidentally pasted the thumbnail. Here’s the full scale comparison.
cheech wizard
December 14th, 2009 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

9CL – Gram’s selective memory obscures the fact that she was actually parachuted behind German lines along with crates of British cuisine to demoralize the enemy by giving them a taste of what they had to look forward to.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 14th, 2009 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

106 Foolster41: I think that Mark’s “special sense” is “the good sense to know when someone needs a punchin’.”
Écureuil Écumant
December 14th, 2009 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

@96 wossname says: “211 B. Racoon – Don’t blame the messenger – blame Irma Rombauer. (And Ecureuil Ecumant for reminding me of it.)”

Hey now, what’s all this hubbub about? I’d have thought racoons and possums’d hardly be natural BFFs. We have neither in Hawaii, but since moving to the wilds of MoCo, my observation has been that they’re avid competitors for the same dumpster delicacies.

And for your further delectation, may I offer th’ ‘Riginal Possum-Bilin’ Rubrics Theyselves. Be sure to be well stocked with possum kibble before attempting.
Saluki
December 14th, 2009 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

Gasoline Alley: What’s Irish and stays out all night? Patty O’Furniture. Thank you. I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.
Muffaroo
December 14th, 2009 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

cheech wizard @40 – Oh, sure, we can criticize Mark Trail for not having modern “telephones” and “thought balloons” and “thoughts” to put in them, but we need to give him some credit for joining the 20th century, however belatedly. It was only ten or twelve years ago that all his dialogue was presented in impenetrable script in floating scrolls that rose vertically from the region of his face. Baby steps!

Mary – Somebody needs to tell Wil-bur that if he keeps making that face, using his finger to make his nose stick up like a pig’s. It could get stuck like that, and… ah. never mind.

Tom T. @100 – So 9 Chickweed Lane is getting set to cross over with Marmaduke? Will this take place years before Marmaduke was a puppy, or will we find that he’s an ageless demon who’s been around since the Middle Ages?
Uncle Lumpy
December 14th, 2009 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

Tom T. (#100) –

. . . the German soldier Gran fell in love with was Adolf Hitler.

At last, the 9 Chickweed Lane/Marmaduke crossover!

Next: Marm and his poodle — from a balloon!
Uncle Lumpy
December 14th, 2009 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

Gaa.
Wave Man
December 14th, 2009 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

FW: Sorry if this has been asked already, but who exactly is the person singing the show tunes supposed to be? I have been reading the strip for years but I can’t figure out who this is supposed to be. Of course, ever since the time jump the characters have been added and removed so fast I haven’t kept as close of attention.

So is “Who’s singing a show tune?” supposed to be the punchline or a legitimate question?
cchan8
December 14th, 2009 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

The first thing I thought when I saw Mark Trail today: that man with the wrench has watched too many A-ha music videos!

In general it seems a bit too CONVENIENT that Mark finds an old jack but we can’t expect him to be like McGuyver and rig up something clever, I suppose.

One thing he might want to take is a piece of wood or something since the car is on sand.
Écureuil Écumant
December 14th, 2009 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

@90 ChristianPinko, @107 Aviatrix: It looks as though this latest coshing has knocked a chunk out of Mark’s skull, a la “Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court”.

In his case it’ll probably improve his social skills by providing a natural outlet for his thought balloons, which are, as we all know, currently extruded inappropriately via his mouth.
dale
December 14th, 2009 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail

If Mark were to make it back to the car with that jack, how would he get it under the car? Dig a hole – oops – go back for a shovel.
Soccerhead
December 14th, 2009 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

Curtis: That was an abrupt end to the history-paper/laptop story. I thought we were in for a whole ‘nother week of it.
Cathy: A gift basket of breath mints and protein bars? Does Cathy think her friends are fat and bad-breathed?
Zits: A 16 year old sitting on black-suited Santa’s leg saying “Freedom” . Yeah, kind of a stupid panel.
Crapshaft: Ed dreads kids excited over Christmas. how does he do the Santa thing sometimes?
VALIS
December 14th, 2009 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

Aviatrix, good find! We knew that old Jack can redraw endless squirrels but I think that’s the first time he does it with homo sapiens?
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 14th, 2009 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

107 Aviatrix: The freakiest thing is that they’re really not the same drawing—but they’re very very close. It’s like Elrod has some sort of muscle memory for certain objects, and they just automatically come out virtually the same every time, like a really good bread baker, but you know, not as tasty or with as much personality.

Now I’m picturing an elderly Elrod, glass of rye whiskey by his side, hunched over his drafting table, filled with loathing for the creation who has dominated his life all these years: Mark Trail, an almost-sentient being who gets to walk around and have adventures, while he, Elrod, the Creator, is trapped in that white ball, always present but never part of the action. “You want action, Trail? I’ll give you fucking action. A little action to the back of your skull, asshole.”
zerowolf
December 14th, 2009 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

Yes dear, she is a little piggy. That’s how she was raised, having the town slut for her mother.
Thomas B.
December 14th, 2009 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

MT-

Okay Elrod, when you start borrowing plot devices from a board game it’s time to hang it up. I mean Mr. Blue in the Old store with the wrench! Sheesh.

What next, will Cherry use the life insurance proceeds to buy Baltic Avenue and the Electric Company?
It's time to pay the price
December 14th, 2009 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

I find it hard to believe that there could ever be a case of misundertood intentions in the Mark Trailniverse, especially when everyone is always shouting their internal monologue in all caps. I mean what else can you take from “I’M SURE HE’LL UNDERSTAND WHEN I TELL HIM A BOY’S LIFE IS AT STAKE”?

I bet the the store owner is hard of hearing. “WHAT’S THAT? A BOY IS A STEAK? I’LL HAVE TO ACT FAST TO APREHEND THIS CANNABALISTIC FREAK!”
Thomas B.
December 14th, 2009 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

@105 Aviatrix,

Two words:

Evil Twin
queek
December 14th, 2009 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

32: yes, yes it is.

48: with the next scene being John Malkovitch removing some “organic dental floss” at the breakfast table. That really was a wonderful movie.

64: “sexy squirrels on amphetamines in My Cage” would be an interesting plot twist.

111: /slaps around a bit with a frozen bluegill

116: take, on, me. . . .
Thomas B.
December 14th, 2009 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

MW-

Okay most of us have a trist we regret but was Wilbur’s lady so repulsive that the very mention of the “relationship with her” causes Wilbur to hold his nose in disgust? I can only imagine what see must do when she thinks about that night of face slapping, “whoa” yelling passion.
Chromium
December 14th, 2009 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

MT: It seems the Code has been updated:

Beard = evil
Sideburns = mean
Cornrows = misguided
Jason1981
December 14th, 2009 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

MT: “Caught you! You’re not saving any creepy little mutant kid! And I don’t have sideburns OR facial hair, so you can’t punch me out! “
Peanut Gallery
December 14th, 2009 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

#90 ChristianPinko: Good job spotting that! But rather than recycled art, I prefer to think of it as ironic self-reference. “Another Mark Trail strip, another bop on the noggin. Some things never change.”
cheech wizard
December 14th, 2009 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

“She’s a little piggy, isn’t she?”

Has this kid been sneaking out of her room after bedime or what? You don’t pick up phrases like this unless you’ve been perched at the top of the rec room stairs after midnight.
B. Racoon
December 14th, 2009 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

wossname and Écureuil Écumant – It seems that both of you could use a weekend with yours truly and find out just how fine and exquisite true Racoon cuisine and drink can be. I’m sure Bourbon Babe can attest to the therapeutic benefits of such an endeavor. Dining, drink and dance that can only heighten this wonderful physical existence in which we find ourselves.
Bonne vie et aime mes cherie.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 14th, 2009 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

132 B. Racoon:
Yes.
cj
December 14th, 2009 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

Re: 129 Jason:
It’s obvious Mark Trail will meet his end at the hands of a woman – no facial hair means his powers are useless.
Master Mahan
December 14th, 2009 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

So Mark’s only weakness is being taken from behind by men with hard tools? And by tools I mean penises.
NoahSnark
December 15th, 2009 at 12:11 am [Reply]

I would pay to see Crankshaft locked in a cage with sixty squirrels on amphetamines. Anyone know who has the movie rights?
Kibo
December 15th, 2009 at 12:34 am [Reply]

Yay, Mark Trail is gonna be Zed’s new gimp!
megankoumori
December 15th, 2009 at 12:48 am [Reply]

Crankshaft: Actually, that’s a pretty good description of my bus in junior high.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 15th, 2009 at 12:50 am [Reply]

Totally off-topic, but: I just submitted my last set of final grades for the semester! I’m doing the “I’m done” dance!

Hooray for winter break!
wagmore barkless
December 15th, 2009 at 12:56 am [Reply]

Props to Jackelrod! Finally, we have a cartoonist who is willing to acknowledge his advancing age and preclude the zombification of his strip by killing off all its characters! That is what he’s doing, right?
Judo Throw Toy
December 15th, 2009 at 1:02 am [Reply]

Best Mark Trail Ever!
Red Greenback
December 15th, 2009 at 1:07 am [Reply]

Amphetamineshaft: First panel: Pick a winner, Ed! “Squeak! Squeak!” Oh yeah, and I’ve finally figured out what the ‘Shaft reminds me of. This.
ChristianPinko
December 15th, 2009 at 1:07 am [Reply]

Congratulations, bbu. It’s a wonderful feeling.
KarMann
December 15th, 2009 at 1:08 am [Reply]

@zerowolf #122: *gasp!* You mean… Brook’s mother is Abby Evans??
jmaynard
December 15th, 2009 at 2:06 am [Reply]

Given that half the kids on Crankshaft’s bus probably actually are on amphetamines (Adderall) that might have been a literal statement he made there.
Poor Thompson
December 15th, 2009 at 2:24 am [Reply]

I’m hoping for a Slylock Fox/ Mark Trail crossover:

“This storeowner hit Mark with a wrench because he caught him breaking and entering in order to steal an old jack, but Mark insists he was only doing it because a boy’s life was at stake. Why does Slylock suspect Mark is telling the truth?”

Answer: Slylock noticed that Mark is less suspicious-looking than the store owner, and therefore must be innocent.
Poor Thompson
December 15th, 2009 at 2:26 am [Reply]

Meanwhile, in the background, Max attempts to rescue Rusty, but becomes trapped himself in the process.
Ed Dravecky
December 15th, 2009 at 2:55 am [Reply]

LUJBEM FEJF @99: On behalf of former major league pitcher Dave Dravecky (to whom I am not related), you’re welcome. Keep up the great work.
Jason1981
December 15th, 2009 at 3:02 am [Reply]

12-15

MT: “Everyone needs to be loved, Cherry…even my cellmate ‘Bubba’. ”

Blondie: Hey, Blondie, if Dag won’t go to bed with ya, one of I will! Uh..can June Morgan come, too? (Wait, what’d you say?…June and Blondie aren’t real? ….Dammit!)

S-M: “And I don’t have a butler to keep my spider-web clean like that bat-guy in Gotham!”
jnik
December 15th, 2009 at 4:38 am [Reply]

MT: The shopkeeper’s lack of facial hair makes him immune to Mark’s Fist of Justice!
Karmyn
December 15th, 2009 at 5:50 am [Reply]

For a few days I was worried that something interesting might happen in Rex Morgan. Glad to know that isn’t the case this time. I can rest easy now.
Thomas B.
December 15th, 2009 at 8:33 am [Reply]

MT-

So what does that guy say when he goes to the barber, “Give me an Osborn?”
Karen
December 15th, 2009 at 11:51 am [Reply]

It looks more like Wilbur is holding his nose, as if the mere thought of having engaged in relations with a woman (his daughter being the obvious result of an alien abduction and breeding program) makes him feel like he’s smelled something bad.
Elektro
December 15th, 2009 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

“Mother’s sister’s daughter”? Don’t you mean “Aunt’s daughter”? Is this comic written by someone who’s third language is English? Aaugh, too much time spent on a soap strip for me.
Jumper
December 15th, 2009 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

I was sort of afraid that Crankshaft would end up on crank. Seemingly far fetched, Batuik is definitely capable of this. Tattoos, Ponzi schemes, ending in declarations by Crankshaft that he, himself is a Sovereign Nation… followed by apocalyptic gunfights with the IRS and the ATF… well, actually, that could be a lot of fun!
ZXC
December 19th, 2009 at 1:56 am [Reply]

I was sort of afraid that Crankshaft would end up on crank. Seemingly far fetched, Batuik is definitely capable of this. Tattoos, Ponzi schemes, ending in declarations by Crankshaft that he, himself is a Sovereign Nation… followed by apocalyptic gunfights with the IRS and the ATF… well, actually, that could be a lot of fun!
Scott Tingley
December 20th, 2009 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

“As a result, this panel looks like the only thing less visually interesting than somebody playing chess, which is somebody playing metaphorical chess, over the Internet.”

Hey Now! http://www.thechesscomic.com/

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