The Comics Curmudgeon

96 responses to “I think the Cato Institute will be intrigued by this idea”

1. plumberninja
   April 13th, 2006 at 9:48 am [Reply]

   So pibgorn’s indian child is a male stripper???? first, btw.

2. Canaduck
   April 13th, 2006 at 10:02 am [Reply]

   Totally sinister. Plus, it looks like he’s decided that “share everything” means “I get the pie, not her”. Wtf.

   By the way, what sort of pie IS that? Flan? Sponge cake? Delicious, monochromatic cherry?

3. Harry Worth
   April 13th, 2006 at 10:10 am [Reply]

   It is the greatly anticipated apple-pear.

   And as for sharing, I think that Lou is going to spring the STD scenerio on Kelly.

   “By the way, while you were out power-walking, I was playing hide the salami with. . .”

4. Justafoob
   April 13th, 2006 at 10:12 am [Reply]

   I can’t wait for the 3-G girls to be trying on the wedding night lingerie. . .

   boooooow chicka boooooow booooowwwww bowwwww

5. adfella
   April 13th, 2006 at 10:12 am [Reply]

   You have to wonder how they’re going to generate any drama in this story line.

   All good narratives require a protagonist and antagonist, and, frankly, I just don’t find in pudgy, bland, nondescript Lou the makings of a good old-fashioned bad guy.

   The worst he’s likely to do is to secretly substitute regular mayonnaise for Kelly’s reduced-fat version in a desperate attempt to keep her overweight and, presumably, less attractive to other men.

6. rich
   April 13th, 2006 at 10:13 am [Reply]

   Looks like Lou is contemplating a murder/suicide arrangement — or is hoping he and Kelly will morph into a couple of those 800-pound, bedridden porkers you see on the Montel Williams Show.

7. NinjaMan
   April 13th, 2006 at 10:13 am [Reply]

   “So pibgorn’s indian child is a male stripper???? first, btw. ”

   I thought this “first” crap was being stomped out this year. Did Josh give up on that already?

8. Toni
   April 13th, 2006 at 10:19 am [Reply]

   When I read today’s Apt. 3G (which I never read until you exposed it to me, thankyouverymuch), I immediately clicked over to your site waiting for commentary because I knew you couldn’t let that one go. It’s Luann’s astonished “Omigosh” like prior to putting on a stupid wedding veil, Tommie was a troll . . . an invisible troll.

9. Jeff
   April 13th, 2006 at 10:23 am [Reply]

   I agree with Canaduck – how do you get the crust to bake around the sides of the pie anyway?

10. Josh
    April 13th, 2006 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Ninjaman – I let him get away with it because the post did contain non-”First” content (I only pledged to zap posts that consisted entirely of triumphant claims of being first). Still, consider yourself on notice, plumberninja.

    jf

11. RichM
    April 13th, 2006 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    I can’t wait for Sally and Ted to break new comics pages ground in tomorrow’s strip.

12. ISBN
    April 13th, 2006 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    Poor Tommie. She’s so desperate for love and attention. Margo describes her as her “victim,” but all the while Tommie is smiling just to have some attention paid to her.

    Like many of the commentors here, I, too, was unaware of the bizarrely compelling saga that is Apt 3G until I started visiting this site. And what have I found? That in every single close-up of Tommie, the artist somehow manages to imbue her with an overly-eager, love-starved expression that would send me running from her slightest efforts at friendship.

    Also, she looks remarkably like my high school English teacher.

13. Zorba the Geek
    April 13th, 2006 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    “OMIGOSH- Tommie, you look like a three-year-old girl playing princess-bride!” Where did Nina get this veil? Toys-R-Us™, in the toddler dress-up department? The play-bride costumes there look better than this.

14. Justafoob
    April 13th, 2006 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    Trouble is brewing in the fooberverse.

    Elly has just discovered John’s extensive “slide” collection. You know it is going to break that he has been putting female (and a few hunky male) patients into a deep nitrous sleep and then taking slides of them. Each and everyone has his victims is shown with their mouths open and with John’s engineer hat on them.

    Toot Toot

15. Sassy_Rocks
    April 13th, 2006 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    “and we always will” sure sounds awfully control freaky and really ominous as though Lou may be planning a murder/suicide with his sharing plumper. Isn’t sharing a mutual concept, rather than something forced upon a person by a controlling, domineering other? I think Kel has way more grounds for divorce than workaholics ex but is way too far gone at this point and thinks resistance is futile.

16. Abbey the Wonderdog
    April 13th, 2006 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    I see the “artists” over at RMMD got my present.

    I sent them “How to draw 101 hand expressions for dummies”

    BARK! BARK! BARK!

17. rich
    April 13th, 2006 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    It’s not that we didn’t think Tommie was the “marrying kind”, it just seemed like she’d be the one wearing the tux.

    On another subject, anyone notice the racist caricature of a Mexican in yesterday’s Prickly City?

18. Marc
    April 13th, 2006 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    What I find most troubling about the Hagar strip is this: why would a being taxed on tree leaves instead of income be punishment? , Presumably you would pay a Leaves-on-Trees tax in leaves. The joke is on the royal government and the strip’s humour falls flat.

19. plumberninja
    April 13th, 2006 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    Ninjaman- Although entire posts devoted to gloating over first-ness were stomped out, posts that MENTION first-ness were not. And yes, I am that juvenile.

20. plumberninja
    April 13th, 2006 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    And Josh- If I build a shrine to you and bow before it five times a day will I get off notice?

21. Sassy_Rocks
    April 13th, 2006 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    Rich, Prickly City is drawn so piss poorly that even blatant racial stereotypes are inaccurately portrayed. I still can’t tell what that chinring hanging from the bottom of Carmen’s head is supposed to be. The “humor” is at least as bad as the artwork.

22. dlauthor
    April 13th, 2006 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    21: You prove your point with your own point. The “chinring,” near as I can tell, is actually meant to be the Girl-Shaped Squiggle’s mouth.

    Or rather, her lips. Her gigantic lips.

    Because she’s black, you see.

    So really, the Mexican Coyote-Shaped Squiggle yesterday wasn’t particularly horrifying because we get lousy racial caricatures every damn day from that strip. Do I need to mention that the “artist” is white?

23. rich
    April 13th, 2006 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    21: Sadly, I think that chinring thing is supposed to be Carmen’s horribly distended lips. It was odd to see this fatheaded, potbellied kid getting (literally) bent out of shape last month over the issue of childhood obesity.

24. Ron
    April 13th, 2006 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    “It’s not that we didn’t think Tommie was the “marrying kind”, it just seemed like she’d be the one wearing the tux.”

    I may have to revisit my original thesis–I think Tommie might just be encouraged enough to make a play to steal LuAnn away from Margo’s clutches!

25. Howland Owl
    April 13th, 2006 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    3-G: Didn’t the Professor used to be about thirty years older and fifty pounds heavier? Is this Gasoline Alley in reverse?

26. Sister Sestina
    April 13th, 2006 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    As to #18, talking about paying a leaf-tax in leaves -
    There have been all sorts of weird taxes in history, usually indirect attempts at a graduated tax. For example, in England there was once a window tax — the more windows you had on your house, the more you had to pay, the theory being that only the rich guys could afford a lot of windows in the first place. Of course the rich guys then blocked up existing windows, or built them in such a way that they could claim they were really doors…I’m pretty sure the tax collectors weren’t accepting bits of glass as payment.

27. kostia
    April 13th, 2006 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    I didn’t know window tax was a real thing. There’s an old episode of Blackadder where he skims money off the Prince Regent by saying they have to pay extra to buy a property; the line goes “…window tax … swamp insurance …” and gets laughs at each pause. Window tax being real makes it less funny. Huh.

28. Dean Moriarty's Dead
    April 13th, 2006 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    Hello, long-time lurker first-time poster here. Couple of questions about Mary Worth, don’t have it in local paper, read it online and started to when I started reading this everyday.

    By the way, Josh, this is the funniest site I have been to in a long time!

    1. Is it me or has Kelly Stirling’s hair changed 3 times in this paticular story arc? Does this happen to other characters on the regular? If this has already been commented on, I apologize.

    2. Can you even call it a comic if it progresses by only two panels a day? Two usually crappy panels that end with Mary saying some “tried and true” advice that everyone has heard and been saying for years?

    3. If this is an eating disorder based arc, am I alone in thinking that: Kelly will retreat to the bathroom after dinner to vomit, Mary will ask Lou if they would like to stay and watch a syndicated epidsode of “Diagnosis Murder” with her and Lou tells her to ask Kelly and Mary goes to the bathroom to ask through the door and she overhears Kelly’s retching because, even at maxium volume, Lawrence Welk will not cover up bulimia-induced vomiting. We are left with a panel with Mary’s “shocked and concerned” expression and an large sound effect word to show there is vomiting going on behind the door.

    I guess I will find out in three weeks when dinner ends.

29. edgeways
    April 13th, 2006 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    er this time of year i wouldn’t mind paying tax based on tree leaves, and considering that vikings are somewhat nordic I’d assume the trees would be awfully bear there as well.

30. SteveDallasFan
    April 13th, 2006 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    Last week LuAnn practically swore off men and said she needed to starting “enjoying what she has”, followed by a group hug, and today she finds Tommie breathtaking. Can a panty-clad three-way pillow fight be far behind?

31. Pozzo
    April 13th, 2006 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    “The Middletons” yesterday deserves comment, and since Josh didn’t choose to (having such an embarrassment of riches from which to choose), I guess it’s up to me.

    1) We’re back to the “mentioning a piece of modern technology that I don’t necessarily comprehend” school of automatic yuks.

    2) As lame as the joke is, it isn’t even executed properly. When the mommy-that-we’ve-never-seen-before holds up an iPod, the toddler-twnsb shouldnt respond with “yourPod.” After all, her mother didn’t say “myPod.” By all rights of crappy-joke logic, the rugrat should come back with “youPod”.

    3) As mentioned, we’ve never seen these protagonists before, but the cartoonist (whose name I can’t be bothered to look up) couldn’t let this nugget of comedy gold go, so he arbitrarily introduces Morris looking on in the first panel, watching a mom-and-baby combo we’ll never see again. (When Johnny Hart comes up with a joke that he can’t twist around to his caveman characters, he brings in the ants.)

32. Len
    April 13th, 2006 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    “Maybe Seth will just tell him the truth,” says Edda.

    “Say, handsome young man, why were your roommates staring at me at the door? Is it my breath?” asks the priest.

    “No father, they were amazed that you didn’t recognize the woman whose hand you’ve been holding and who you’ve been flirting with at the Nuns’ and Priests’ Mixer, just because she wasn’t wearing a habit!” says Seth.

    Then Seth adds, “Don’t you usually hang out at Dorothy’s Friend on Wednesdays? I recognize YOU, even though you don’t wear your collar and basic black suit at the GAY BAR!”

    Drat you, Seth Appleby! I’m trying to lose weight, and you’re offering Toll House cookies. Keep your darn apple-pear pie to yourself! You and Mary Worth are just ennablers, trying to get Kelly and me to quit Overeaters Anonymous.

    http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2006/4/13&name=9_Chickweed_Lane

33. Sassy_Rocks
    April 13th, 2006 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    Dean Moriarty’s Dead:

    It’s really impressive how well you understand Mary Worth, considering your newbie status.

    1. Change (of scenery) is a recurring theme in Mary Worth. Yesterday’s blond is today’s brunette. Yesterday’s plumper is today’s poolside diva. Dawn Weston’s dramatic transformation from Wilbur Weston’s homely little fat girl to statuesque beauty overnight is a perfect example.

    2. Despite the painfully glacial pace of Mary Worth, it is still a comic or it wouldn’t be in the comic section of the paper. The other soaps (Mark Trail, JP, RMMD, etc) are equally slow moving and equally dull and inane. Other comics by pretentious authors such as Doonesbury and Dilbert that appear in other sections of the paper are still comics too.

    3. The vomitous food blobs Mary Worth is serving would be enough to make me wretch and I don’t have an eating disorder. So you’re predicting a little binge ‘n purge action? Well that would explain how she loses and gains 10 lbs in one day. Kelly changes her hair color repeatedly in a vain attempt to please the insatiable, demanding control freak that is Lou.

34. King Dogmeat
    April 13th, 2006 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    That Hagar the Horrible really keeps ‘em fresh. That’s 17,652 tax collector gags, and every one of them unique and clever.

35. Goober
    April 13th, 2006 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    A3G: I seem to recall that a long time ago, A3G was the closest thing in the comics section to a T&A strip (ha), where the girls were routinely shown changing clothes, in slips and bras, etc. Is that just a product of my diseased imagination?

    JP: I guess the CIA needs a Courtney Love stoner type for undercover work.

    MT: Wouldn’t it actually be “scarier” if the mountain had just exploded on its own?

    GT: Ken Burger can’t throw, hit, run, or catch, really, but he’s got a darned good attitude. Plus, will Donnell (that’s Donnell, right? Cause it could be Trey Davis) finally get the annoying attention from recruiters that he craves so desperately?

    MW: I interpret Lou’s creepy “..and we always will” to mean that he’s getting horny for his porker Kelly again because the pie reminds him of his favorite pie: hair.

    RM,MD: “I took my drug reps golfing…and let them win…plus of course I gave them blowjobs on the back 9.”

36. Len
    April 13th, 2006 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    I’m enjoying “Watch Your Head,” a new strip about a nerdy college freshman attending a mostly black university. The art is good, and the characters amusing.

    http://www.comics.com/wash/watch/archive/watch-20060412.html

37. SNF
    April 13th, 2006 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    er this time of year i wouldn’t mind paying tax based on tree leaves, and considering that vikings are somewhat nordic I’d assume the trees would be awfully bear there as well.

    Aaah, but the king’s greedy legislators are clever buggers: Under the new law, pine needles are considered leaves.

38. Library Cat
    April 13th, 2006 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    No, Goober it is not your imagination. Check it out:
    http://profmendez.tripod.com/html/apart3G.htm

    I remember when Tommie was hot. Sadly enough.

39. Howland Owl
    April 13th, 2006 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

    38: Boy, the artwork was about 50 times better back then.

40. Marc
    April 13th, 2006 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    Um..other Marc, would you mind changing your display name? I’m sorry, but I was here first :-). I hope this doesnt sound mean, it’s very hard to convey infliction when one is typing. Perhaps your Display name could be Marc 2, etc.

    Am I the only one who finds today’s Sally Forth welll..ummmm….BOWM CHICKA WOWWOW.

    That out of the way…

    So we have Kelly and Lou having hte WASPiest arguement ever about apple pear pie. When will this storyarc end?! I’d rather endure Selkie platitudes form Jane Hand.

41. Jeaneth
    April 13th, 2006 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Now, granted, I’m not very well-versed in wedding roles or activities, but why does Margo need to practice adjusting Nina’s veil? Is it really that hard? What’s Margo’s role in the wedding anyway? I’m fairly new to this strip so I don’t know the characters, but I got the impression she’s a wedding planner or some such. Why would the wedding planner be adjusting the veil? Isn’t there usually a personal attendant or a stylist to take care of dressing the bride?

    And Lou in Mary Worth? Has some issues.

42. MLH
    April 13th, 2006 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    “Hagar the Mediocre” would be a better name at this point. Whichever poor halfwit son / heir / assign of Dik Browne writes the damn thing has to be kicking himself regarding Dad’s decision to give the strip a quasi-medieval setting, which severely limits use of the ultra-wacky golf jokes that have for years been the standby of the hack comic writer, as well as the i-Pod, soduku, BlackBerry, and cellphone jokes that can, as Bill Keane demonstrates, be quite zany.

    As an aside, it appears to me increasingly likely that Dik Browne and Mort Walker were the same guy. Did anyone ever see them together?

43. Hobo Saxophone
    April 13th, 2006 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    Sure, drawing thousands of leaves could cause some hand-cramping and maybe a touch of soul-deadening as well, but isn’t it worth it for such a boffo payoff?

44. Frank Drackman
    April 13th, 2006 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    Is Johnny Hart losing it? No Christian or anti-semitic strips..just the old tires “You Know” routine, and the “midnight skulker” character…well hes still got 3 days until the big one.

45. Old Fogey
    April 13th, 2006 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    Howland Owl:

    >>3-G: Didn’t the Professor used to be about thirty years older and fifty pounds heavier?

    I had the same impression, and decided that I was just confusing the two professors (the one in 3-G and the one in MW). But maybe not. Does anyone know?

46. Pansy
    April 13th, 2006 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    MT: Cherry is driving Tony home? How the hell is she gonna do THAT if The Road Through Lost Forest is blocked by tiny boulders? How ironic.

    A3G: #41 Jeaneth is right. Why would Margo need to practice adjusting a veil? Even if wedding planners routinely practiced veil-adjusting, wouldn’t Margo — as a seasoned wedding planner — already know how? Or is this wedding business just one in an endless parade of jobs this meddling loser has had for the last 45 years? Seems to me it’s just an on-the-fly see-through excuse you use when caught red-handed by your girlfriend. I guess it worked.

    Yeah, the art back then WAS better on A3G. Back then, you might actually call them “girls”. Nowadays, they’re pathetic old spinsters with badly-dyed hair and wearing their mothers’ clothes. That is so sad.

    MW: If this tedious dinner conversation goes on much longer, I’M gonna be the one hurling my pear-apple pie all over Mary’s spotless bathroom.

    (And now I see I have used up all my hyphens for the day.)

47. papa
    April 13th, 2006 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    Re. Wikipedia entry: A3G, RMMD, and JP are all products of the same mind? **boggle**!!!

48. Sassy_Rocks
    April 13th, 2006 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    Old Fogey:

    Prof Pappagorous used to have a Professor Ian Cameron-like physique and was about 20 years older than he is now. Maybe he found a fountain of youth back in his native Greece… Now instead of being a father figure to them he may actually be mating with the girls for all we know.

49. Marc
    April 13th, 2006 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

    Okay, today (4-14), MW is dealing with men who like Plumpers. Ewwww. Sex in MW. and that bird in the picture looks like it is about to peck off Lou’s head.

    PS: Wasn’t there a bright, teal draped window there last week? hah Gotta love MW!

50. Monkey David
    April 14th, 2006 at 12:45 am [Reply]

    So, wait a second, Josh. I don’t get this plumberninja thing–you’re not allowed to say “first!” but then you are?
    Be consistent! You’re just flailing around like a lubed-up squid!

51. Goober
    April 14th, 2006 at 1:07 am [Reply]

    Luann: Isn’t it long past the time when we should have made “American Idol” jokes a capital crime?

52. Kaliflower
    April 14th, 2006 at 2:09 am [Reply]

    What’s strange to me is that the thought balloon seems to be originating from Lou’s speech balloon, not from his head as per usual. Sure, it’s probably just to indicate that the thought is following the words, but it almost seems to suggest that the word’s are originating the thought.

    Lou’s train of communication would make Derrida’s head spin.

53. Len
    April 14th, 2006 at 2:15 am [Reply]

    #50 — As the cwocks from Pearls would shout:

    BUGGER THE SQUID!!

    (And Dr. Gainer would concur.)

54. NJP
    April 14th, 2006 at 2:56 am [Reply]

    The odd thing about this Hagar the Horrible cartoon is that I always thought that Hagar was the king of whatever domain he lives in. So now I’m thinking I’ve somehow conflated Hagar and the Wizard of Id in my brain all these years. That I have any brainspace dedicated to either is sad, really.

55. Abbey the Wonderdog
    April 14th, 2006 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    Rex, the painters are coming back soon to finish the job, maybe we should go into the next room so you can finish yours.

    BARK! BARK! BARK!

56. Harry Worth
    April 14th, 2006 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    Lou doesn’t want to share, he wants Kelly to eat what is left in the pietin. He loves the control he has. Eat eat eat. If you don’t eat, you wont look good for the pictures I am taking later to put up on CILF Plumplovers. Now if we can only get Mary to come along, we can get get an awesome series of CILF on CILF action.

57. SteveDallasFan
    April 14th, 2006 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    I don’t know about anyone else, but I think “flailing around like a lubed-up squid” is a pretty good payoff for the last 2 weeks of Get Fuzzy.

    Not to mention that Lubed-up Squid would be a great name for a band.

58. Howard Erk
    April 14th, 2006 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Not to mention that Lubed-up Squid would be a great name for a band.

    Maybe you can book them for your end of the year frat party.

59. dlauthor
    April 14th, 2006 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Based on his fascination with frat parties, I’m beginning to suspect that something very, very bad happened to Erk at one back before he dropped out of school (I think he would have been Class of ‘38 before he opted for No Class Whatsoever).

    Show us on the doll where Thad and Chip touched you, Howard.

60. Dean Moriarty's Dead
    April 14th, 2006 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Sassy Rocks: Thanks for the clairification. Glad to see I am not comepletely out of the loop. I enjoyed your use of the phrase “glacial pace” because we just studied glaciers/glacial pace in my Environmental Geology class. Mary Worth really makes this concept hit home.

    A3G: In my short time reading this strip, today is the first time I have seen Tommie look like a pretty woman…Maybe she will get a story of her own…

61. SteveDallasFan
    April 14th, 2006 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    Howard, it’s too late. We’ve already booked “Bucky and the Boogers” for our party.

62. Howard Erk
    April 14th, 2006 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    Howard, it’s too late. We’ve already booked “Bucky and the Boogers” for our party.

    Too bad, they’re snot very good.

63. Justafoob
    April 14th, 2006 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    Today’s FBOFW we see John clarifying the situation by saying “Farley, the dog.” I guess the early onset of Alzheimer’s has hit Elly and John has to make sure that she is not lost in her own foobervers.

    “Farley’s tree, is that where we buried the child that I accidently killed?”

    “No dear. That would be Frank’s . . . umm errrr nooo. What child are you talking about? I think you are confused, again. Here, take your pill”

64. Lyman Returns
    April 14th, 2006 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    That’s funny, I hadn’t thought about the oddity of John Patterson pointing out that it’s Farley the Dog when 1) From the slide, it would be obvious Farley is a dog and 2) the only other person there is Elly who knows full well what Farley is.

    It would be like the two of them sitting there saying, oh, there’s Elizabeth, our daughter! And Michael, our son! And look! Here’s some slides from when this strip was good!

    Ohhhhhhh, snap! No, he didn’t!!!

    Anyway, MW has an amusing panel of Lou trying to force-feed Kelly some pie. He has a gigantic piece on the end of his fork and he’s lunging at her with it. If this happened while I had dinner guests, I’d be a bit weirded out…

    Lubed-up Squid…another aquatic-themed rock band, to go with Pinball Swordfish and Octopus of Disdain.

    Nice theory that Mort Walker and Dik Browne are really the same guy. Maybe his ‘inane’ and ‘out of touch’ personality draws Hagar and Beetle, while his dippy personality draws Family Circus, and his psychotic lunatic personality draws BC. What we see on the comics page are many sides of the same brain-addled man’s mind. How dare the comic syndicates exploit such an individual!

65. Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
    April 14th, 2006 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    #63: Would the child you’re speaking about be Mike and Liz’s older brother Chuck, who moved out to go to college just before the Fonz moved into the apartment over their garage and was never seen, heard from or mentioned again?

    I’d like my pill now please.

66. rich
    April 14th, 2006 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    A3G: Poor Tommie wonders “will the day ever come…when I will pledge my heart 4-evah?”

    Of course, to make that happen one might actually have to go on a date more than once every ten years. Think Scott Gaines is ready for another fling?

67. plumberninja
    April 14th, 2006 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    RMMD- If by “Free”, he means “In exchange for sex”, he’s right.

68. Backswitch
    April 14th, 2006 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    Looks like Lynn has taken a cue from Jack Elrod. No one in Mark Trail can ever mention Bill Ellis’ name without qualifying it as “Mark’s Editor” or some form thereof.

69. brendan
    April 14th, 2006 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    god almighty the foob slideshow.

    I think lynn has carpal tunnel syndrome. She’s going to take a rest by drawing as alittle as possible for a week, and just rerun old panels. Not old strips mind you, old panels while the St. Pattersons deliver an endless sermon on “life’s pathway.”

    I think I may start drinking bourbon for breakfast…

70. BassoGap
    April 14th, 2006 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Foob – It’s obvious Lynn was trying to explain the slide to readers who weren’t around when Farley pulled his Lassie-saves-Timmy trick, but it failed miserably. This is probably the worst single example of her strip having jumped the shark. UNLESS it’s about to end, with John and Ellie down in the basement, remembering the old times, in a comet-strike fireball…

    SF – Dammit…Ces had us all hot and bothered, hoping for some Sally on Ted action (you *know* she’s the dominant one, don’t you?)…

    MW – Anyone else think what Lou wants Kelly to share with him is coronary disease and a massive heart attack? Or maybe just the unisex XXL underwear they both have on?

    PBS – damn, that’s funny

    MT – how does damaging one road mean paying for a new road will be acceptable to everyone? repairs will always be less expensive than building a new road…or am I trying to use logic to figure out the nonsensical storyline again? I need to stop doing that.

    RMMD – Gee, Rex, didn’t you notice the “they’ll do anything I want, if I let them win at golf” comment? How do you think he got *you* there, hmm? Well, besides the gay sex, that is…

71. Farley, the Dog
    April 14th, 2006 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    I, for one, cannot wait for Sunday’s BC. It message of toleration and love will help bring me back from the dead.

    WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!

72. BigJoe
    April 14th, 2006 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    SF – Ted did not get the job offer, as I “amazingly” predicted days ago. http://joshreads.com/?p=576#comment-31452

    Like I said, Sitcoms 101.

73. gnome de blog
    April 14th, 2006 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    Erk.

    Bah.

74. gnome de blog
    April 14th, 2006 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    #17: “It’s not that we didn’t think Tommie was the “marrying kind”, it just seemed like she’d be the one wearing the tux.”

    They’re switching off. LuAnn gets the tux this time. Margo, as usual, has the cassock, the thigh-high stilettos, and the ropes.

75. Old Fogey
    April 14th, 2006 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    Sassy Rocks:

    Thanks for clearing up about the professors. I personally think that the Professor (in 3G) is a hunk now. As much a hunk as a two-dimensional, fictional comic strip character can be. And more so than many non-fictional 3D men I’ve known.

    And I agree with others that the lubed-up squid is priceless.

76. Lady Penelope
    April 14th, 2006 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    Finally! New author at Apt. 3G. LuAnn’s finally going to get her GED and Tommie’s going to get LuAnn. But don’t expect pantie parties. A Tommie-LuAnn affair means that we’ll see them rollerskating in the park, having coffee at the laundromat, and admiring LuAnn’s portrait of Tommie’s disembodied head in a soho gallery.

    More fun will be watching Margo, as third wheel, make it all about her once more. “They never invite ME into Tommie’s room …”

    Possibly, I care more about Apt 3G than ANYbody. What can I say, I’m an artist. *cough, cough*

77. yellojkt
    April 14th, 2006 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    Hola to both Prickly City and Candorville today. In the Washington Post they’re together making the immigrant band wagon jumping topicality all that much more obvious.

78. Len
    April 14th, 2006 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    In Piranha Club, the little green space alien who is impersonating George Dubya is conferring with the President of Burkina Faso.

    http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060414&name=Piranha

    Dubya might well ask in reply, “Why isn’t your skin colored brown, like most sub-Saharan Africans?”

    The colorists on Piranha Club, while not as obtuse as the marmosets that colorize Mary Worth, seem to have problems with racial characteristics. There’s a Preacher who’s a regular character, and despite his Don King wooly Afro, he’s been colored pink for many months. It’s only in the last year or so that they color him a cafe au lait tan. The president of Burkina Faso should also be blue pencilled for the colorists “Brown complexion.”

    I’m sure the alien is marked “green complexion” already.

79. Backswitch
    April 14th, 2006 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    MT: Is that Mark barging into Sam’s house in panel 3? That would sort of fit the storyline. And it would fit Mark’s long history of employing vigilante tactics and generally disregarding others’ Constitutional rights. It’s just that it doesn’t LOOK much like Mark. Looks more like one of the two roadside bombers. If Jack’s artwork wasn’t so consistantly inconsistant, I’d say no way that’s Mark. But it HAS to be, no?

    Dabney Coleman sure is startled tho.

80. mentarman
    April 14th, 2006 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    Soooooooo….. No sex?
    http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060414&name=Sally_Forth

81. Len
    April 14th, 2006 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    From Friday’s Ink Pen…

    I think I’d like a dark blue workshirt, with the lettering of “Department of Satan Nation” across the back.

    Who but Devil worshippers would steal the garbage right out of a hungry rat’s mouth?

    http://www.ucomics.com/inkpen/

82. Library Cat
    April 14th, 2006 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    #79

    Yeah, I was trying to figure out if that was Mark or Sam’s detonator henchman. He looked just like Mark but with a healed broken nose, I guess to show that he is a baddie.

83. Dub Not Dubya
    April 14th, 2006 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    I think I have the current MW storyline figured out. He wants his wife to plump up so he can do like that psycho killer in Silence of the Lambs and wear her skin after he kills her. But there isn’t enough of her skin yet, so he has to wait until she gets bigger. C’mon, you know it makes perfect sense.

84. Library Cat
    April 14th, 2006 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    #13

    Actually Zorba, I think they found my First Communion veil. If I had known it would improve my attractiveness 75% just by wearing it; I would have never let it fall into Margo’s evil clutches.

85. Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
    April 14th, 2006 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    SF: Should Sally have to call Ted to find out something like that? Wouldn’t a dedicated spouse/life partner have called his significant other immediately?

86. barkin\' mad
    April 14th, 2006 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    Really, who draws Apartment 3-G? Does he have a television? Or did he just stockpile these stripes during the 80’s?

    Very few fabulous New York female powerhouses would be caught dead in such an ugly and out of date veil. One would imagine her in a Vera Wang or whatever is fashionable these days. Vera is probably so last century.

    It isn’t even fashionable these days to have a veil that covers the face. I know because I couldn’t find one that wasn’t ugly and had to have one made up.

    But even I wouldn’t have worn a veil that ugly. And I’m not a rich New Yorker and I wasn’t marrying a millionare.

    This whole strip would be so much better if the artist flipped through a few fashion magazines to see what young women in NYC are wearing.

87. Smokin Grassroots
    April 14th, 2006 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    re: lubed up squids
    I hope we’re on our way towards week three of Bucky messing with Satch by saying something and running off, topped off with a stern talk from Rob at the end of the week. I can enjoy that all spring.

    This weeks Zits has been great too, featuring Jeremy’s realization of oedipal anxieties.

88. Pelagius
    April 14th, 2006 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    Zits: Is anyone else watching the creepy oedipal story play out in “Zits”? Sure, his girlfriend’s “vogueing” through the strip is making me feel tingly, too. It can’t help that, like everyone in the strip, gf and mom share one of the two available faces (skinny or fat).

    PC: For once I’m following Prickly City with anticipation. How far will they go? Is there a taco joke in their future? He already looks sooo sleeepy, I theenk.

89. Howard Erk
    April 14th, 2006 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    I hope we’re on our way towards week three of Bucky messing with Satch by saying something and running off, topped off with a stern talk from Rob at the end of the week. I can enjoy that all spring.

    Hopefully it will be something clever like poopie, or porkpie, or peepee.

    rot

90. gnome de blog
    April 14th, 2006 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    “I hope we’re on our way towards week three of Bucky messing with Satch by saying something and running off, topped off with a stern talk from Rob at the end of the week. I can enjoy that all spring.”

    Maybe all summer, it being the ne plus ultra of humor and all.

91. Zipper the Mule
    April 14th, 2006 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    Lubed up squid…huh? So not worth the wait. How long do you think he’s been hanging onto that line just waiting for the perfect time to slip it to us?

    As for taxing the leaves, maybe Hagar is about to pillage and scourge the Earth in order to rid us of leaves for the good of all tax dodging humanity and the author just wanted us to be ready for it. Or not. Maybe the comic just sucks. Yeah, that’s probably it.

92. Zorba the Geek
    April 14th, 2006 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    #88: Pelagius, I love your “nom de blog.” Are you, too, a Celtic heretic?

    #91: Zipper, where’ve you been, girl? How’s it going?

93. Pelagius
    April 16th, 2006 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    #92: Thanks! In answer to your question – Yes, and depending on your beliefs

94. Meredith
    May 2nd, 2007 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    YEAH! My fine-bellied twin! I’m glad you bumped about our twin tummies!

    BUMP ME, MEREDITH!!

95. Meredith 1
    May 2nd, 2007 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    OH!! MEREDITH 2!!

    BUMP!!

96. Meredith Twins [At same computer]
    May 2nd, 2007 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    GO TWINS! {GIRLS, guys are gross!!]

    BUMP!!

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