The Comics Curmudgeon

112 responses to “Filth, foreigners, doom”

1. Marc
   April 24th, 2006 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

   SF: That is a good observation, Josh.

   Pluggers has always set me over the edge. Really. It represents middle America’s “charm.” Moving your Wal-Mart brand sock across a puddle on the floor is NOT charming.

   I remember there was one Plugger where there was a child on a rhino’s lap. It was the Plugger’s “Laptop!” Hah! What a knee slapper!!!!

2. Marc
   April 24th, 2006 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

   Furthermore, the people who send in Pluggers comic topics have the same intelligence as the morons who send in their “Dog-one Funnies” to Marmaduke; None. Let’s put it this way, Ted Forth has the highest intelligence out of the two demographics I just mentioned.

3. Smokin Grassroots
   April 24th, 2006 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

   Which will be more depressing this week:
   BD remembering losing his leg in combat, the retelling of a breakup in Foobville, or the impending death of Ol’ Man Gezelter?

4. Daijinryuu
   April 24th, 2006 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

   It appears that offscreen, the Forths have managed to clone themselves. We’re all doomed.

5. Ape Lad
   April 24th, 2006 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

   The mind reels at the thought of Ms. Kellners soggy, foot-shape besplotched carpet.

6. Marc
   April 24th, 2006 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

   A short Google later, we know that Ms. Kellner is presently a 5th grader in Murrysville, PA.

   Here is proof…

   Wednesday, January 5, 2005

   Adults aren’t the only ones trying to stick to new year’s resolutions. Though very few mentioned weight loss or reducing their credit card spending, the fourth-grade students at Sloan Elementary School have set some admirable goals for 2005. We asked them to share their resolutions with our readers. Here are their responses.

   Tessa Kellner: My new year’s resolution is to go on a brave and noble adventure like Charlotte Doyle. (I want to do something unexpected and unlike me!)

   Something unlike you? Perhaps you’d like to use a mop, and be adventerous.

7. Rusty
   April 24th, 2006 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

   Can anyone figure out what the logo on Ted’s t-shirt is? Nice touch having him protect his feminine hands by wearing gloves when raking. I have several elderly neighbors, they are usually good for two or three ambulance rides before they tap out forever. The Forth’s should get used to the sound of sirens, Hilary will be out dating boys in a couple of years.

8. Treadwell
   April 24th, 2006 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

   Knee-jerk overprotection of your 11-ish daughter, and quick one-two-three punch listings of what modern kids like to do, all in the midst of elderly mortality….THAT’S comedy!

   Knowing what I, sadly, know of the Forths’ parenting approach, I wouldn’t have expected them to shelter Hilary so. Maybe what they’re really protecting her from is their dopplegangers hanging around the yard.

9. Happenstance
   April 24th, 2006 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

   Has Ol’ Man Gezelter ever appeared in the strip before? I can’t imagine why they’d try to milk the drama of the death of a complete stranger…

   “I could never run for President. I have a skeleton in my closet…oh, wait, no, I forgot. I made soup.”
   –Creepy Susie, The Oblongs

10. Treadwell
    April 24th, 2006 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    Holy crap. Thinking “Gezelter” was made up, I Googled the name and came up with bunches of ‘em. And every last one of them on the first page of hits are involved in chemistry, software or some sort of scientific research. Name your kid Gezelter, folks, if you want an egghead.

11. TDB
    April 24th, 2006 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers? That has got to be one of the all time worst names for a comic…or just about anything else for that matter.

12. Pat Lewis
    April 24th, 2006 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    Oh god! Murrysville, PA is MY hometown, too! Let me assure everyone reading this that Murrysville is actually a pretty nice, upper-middle-class suburb of Pittsburgh and not, you know, the punchline to a Jeff Foxworthy joke.

13. Treadwell
    April 24th, 2006 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    Knowing what I, sadly, know of the Forths’ parenting approach, I wouldn’t have expected them to shelter Hilary so.

    But, then, she knows a gurney when she sees one but doesn’t understand what they’re for. Maybe she needs sheltering after all.

14. Dub Not Dubya
    April 24th, 2006 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

    Treadwell 10: that’s interesting. When I first saw the name, I thought it said “Geezer” for a split second. I figured that was why Ces chose the name.

15. Steinbeck421
    April 24th, 2006 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    Maybe, just maybe, we should give someone who is apparently a fifth grade kid a break for taking the easy way out when she spills a little water. Or for wanting to see her name in the paper.

    And maybe, just maybe, we shouldn’t feel the need to rush to defend our hometown as not leading (God forbid) a sweepingly generalized notion of a red-state-like existence. Last time I checked the Eastern seaboard wasn’t devoid of Wal-Marts.

    Put that huge paint brush down and step away while I go get another Fanta.

    Oh, and have you heard?
    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31079

16. 2fs
    April 25th, 2006 at 12:02 am [Reply]

    So, uh, what sort of creature is that mopping the floor with its stinky socks in “Pluggers”? It looks rather like a cross between a rhinoceros and a squid.

17. jazz
    April 25th, 2006 at 12:03 am [Reply]

    Gorging your kid on junk food as they play videogames and tap out a message on their phones….is that the pluggers parenting method of dealing with trauma?

18. fred p.
    April 25th, 2006 at 12:04 am [Reply]

    Note that while Pluggers does sport an email address, it primarily seems to encourage its readers to write in via snail mail. Perhaps if its readership is such mental perspicacity that figuring out how to operate a regular household mop is too challenging to be considered a viable cleaning option, then expecting them to actually figure out how to use one of them newfangled computerifier gizmos is completely out of the question.

    And _what_ exactly species is that Plugger supposed to be? That lumpy, featureless face looks more like a crumpled, soggy towel than anything else. Maybe a pile of dirty laundry has been left undone so long that it actually CAME TO LIFE!!

19. bigbenorr
    April 25th, 2006 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    I thought he was pushing a towel around with that foot…..

20. AirForbes
    April 25th, 2006 at 1:04 am [Reply]

    I don’t get why Sally would be so concerned over a gurney. Now if Hilary had said, “what’s that big white bag for?” then I would have sent her inside.

21. Mysterio
    April 25th, 2006 at 2:31 am [Reply]

    On the “recent” news front, I do agree that what Congresswoman McKinney did was out of line. But does that meam that we all have to suffer through what will no doubt be a week of near identical “jokes” in Mallard Fillmore?

22. Mibbitmaker
    April 25th, 2006 at 2:54 am [Reply]

    #15: I generally agree, but Brookins didn’t have to choose that one to draw. But my reaction was a mocking eye-roll at the sheer stupidity of the idea, not to blow a gasket over it. I save my anger for specific issues and wrong-headed ideas (left and right). This is “Pluggers”, not “Mallard”.

    Can’t restrain my one-year college (‘80-1, fwiw), East Coast-dwelling-meaning-nothing-political-1-way-or-the-other, independent, suburban-brat non-elitism. ;o)

23. Mibbitmaker
    April 25th, 2006 at 3:15 am [Reply]

    FC: Next, unpublished panel – Jeffy: “Yeah? YOU’re gonna be bumpy in a minute…!”

    FOOB: So, the (other?) shoe has dropped. Once again, the Liz suitor overload goes into hyperdrive. Somehow, unlike when Liz was the cheating victim, I doubt Anthony will gang up on Terese with another agreived party and beat her senseless coming out of a bathroom. Hey, maybe Liz will do it FOR him…

    Tiger: If that doesn’t sum up the Reagan era…

    Curtis: Oh my God, they’re going to go all Funky Winkerbean on us, aren’t they??

    Baby Blues: Mistake. The first caption should read: “Ask a Parent”, and the 2nd: “Ask a kid”.

    Beetle Bailey: Well, that’s alot of %$@?$! if you ask me!

    SF: Wait’ll it’s YOU on the gurney in a few decades, ghouls – I mean “girls”…

    3G: Tommie had her own plotline and now these 2 strip-hogs ruin it (such as it was)!

24. Frank Drackman
    April 25th, 2006 at 5:57 am [Reply]

    Are Family Circus and Boondocks linked this week? Huey is doin his Black Power Afro superiority bit, while Billy is bragging about his Aryan Blonde straight hair. I always suspected Jeffy was the result of Thel messin around with one of the groundscrew at the local country club.

25. Happenstance
    April 25th, 2006 at 6:40 am [Reply]

    #23 re Curtis: Oh, this wouldn’t be the first time this strip went high emo on us. Last time I remember–and it was the last time I read the strip regularly–Curtis’ mother, preggers with a third kid, got robbed while out with Curtis’ younger brother. When the mugger began mauling her little boy, Mom went bonkers and knocked the crap out of the perp–but the fight caused her to suffer a miscarriage.

    Ray Billingsley, narrating the strip, attributed Mom’s successful rescue of her child directly to God’s intervention–instead of Mom–but attributed the miscarriage to “fate.”

    (I’ll let you figure out what that says about Ray.)

    …Wait, did Dad just say “Lawd, yes?” Holy crap.

    I did see the Sunday strip, in which the barber (his “bit” is that he never remembers Curtis’ name) refers to Curtis as “Chelsea” and Curtis doesn’t even give him a dirty look, let alone go after him with a blunt instrument. …Consider the ramifications, won’t you?

26. Justafoob
    April 25th, 2006 at 6:46 am [Reply]

    The other shoe is going to drop later when we find out that the mysterious “other” man in Therese’ life is none other than Mike Patterson.

    It will rip the funny pages apart.

    dropping confetti all over Rat.

27. Ianscot
    April 25th, 2006 at 6:51 am [Reply]

    Tuesday, 6/25/2006: Mark Trail spots an albino Bluejay.

    Or perhaps the MT strip just employs the laziest colorists ever.

28. TheMagicMel
    April 25th, 2006 at 7:30 am [Reply]

    26: If it *is* Saint Mike that Therese is boffing on the side, FBOFW will officially become the strip I love, not the one I love to hate. Maybe the furnished apartment is none other than the one vacated by the Kelpfroths or whatever the hell odd name that was. Ah, Drama.

29. Jives
    April 25th, 2006 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    JP: How diabolical. Not only are Indians more capable of doing American students’ school assignments … they’re crafty and subversive enough to turn the assignment into a propaganda tool to further wedge foreign labor into the US economy. They must be stopped before they rob Americans of their cheating-on-papers jobs.

    Ten bucks Lou Dobbs spit coffee all over his secret immigrant-proof lair reading this.

30. Smitty Smedlap
    April 25th, 2006 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    That Plugger mops the floor with the RELATIVE ABSORBENCY OF A RHINO. Which is to say none at all.

    I actually grew up in the next town over from Murrysville, PA. They’re cake-eaters, the furthest thing from Pluggers imagineable. I’m sure Theresa Kellner has brought great shame to the Murrysvillians.

31. Smitty Smedlap
    April 25th, 2006 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    Holy smokes, what species is that thing that (dt)GT is talking to today?

32. Abbey the Wonderdog
    April 25th, 2006 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    My god!!! Widdle Sawah is suffering from FOOB syndrome, the chronic condition where funny page characters age at an alarmingly fast rate. From the looks of it, Sawah has the worst case I have ever seen, she is going to be 90 before next October.

    And the poor kid, she could get treatment, but Rex and June are not capable of diagnosing anything, for they are just a DOCTOR and NURSE after all. We need Pus Boy’s dad to fly in from Montana to take charge of this situation.

    BARK! BARK! BARK!

33. Ces
    April 25th, 2006 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    Has Ol’ Man Gezelter ever appeared in the strip before? I can’t imagine why they’d try to milk the drama of the death of a complete stranger…

    He has been mentioned as the Forths’ next door neighbor several, several times over the past ten years (but has never actually appeared in the comic).

    Holy crap. Thinking “Gezelter” was made up, I Googled the name and came up with bunches of ‘em. And every last one of them on the first page of hits are involved in chemistry, software or some sort of scientific research. Name your kid Gezelter, folks, if you want an egghead.

    That would probably be my friend Dan Gezelter from college, now a professor at Notre Dame.

34. GotFuzzy
    April 25th, 2006 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Smitty, I was coming here to post the same thing! Now I’m having visions of what the offspring of Marjie and the Mopping Rhino would look like. Gaaaahhhh! It’s too horrible to comtemplate.

35. MotoMike
    April 25th, 2006 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    I have to toss my vote in the same direction as bigbenorr, who also thinks that the rhino-like monster is pushing around a towel. It’s open to interpretation (which is a phrase that depresses me to use, never thinking I’d use it in this context – I mean, Jeez, we’re deconstructing Pluggers?) The “drop a paper towel on the floor and shove it around with your feet” trick is a favorite of my mother-in-law, so entering her kitchen (floor festooned with random paper towels) on a busy cooking day makes me think, visually, of the old days when my dad used to cut himself shaving and put little pieces of toilet paper on the cuts, showing up at breakfast with two or three forgotten little emblems on his face.

    …. okay. Be that as it may…if I could remember which of the Pattersons Anthony was crazy about (April? Elizabeth? Elly? …. Michael?) I’d comment on his wife leaving him. But that would require me caring about his character, and frankly, last week’s gripping storyline about Gordon’s Crevasse (no, wait, wait, what I meant was …) was more gripping.

36. dlauthor
    April 25th, 2006 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    Spidey: So say, and why not, that you’re a cabbie in L.A., and this way-too-smiley guy with a conspicuously large duffel bag gets in your taxi and asks to be taken to “wherever the tall buildings are.” Would you not think, maybe for a moment, that something unsavory was in the offing? That maybe you might want to notify the cops that he might be either (a) a jumper, or (b) about to go all crazy with a high-powered sniper rifle? Nah, you’d just drive him downtown, ask if the buildings are tall enough, then go on your merry way.

    Mallard: Thank heavens we white people have Tinsley around. No one else is brave enough to reveal how hard we all have things in America.

    Heart of the City: Flaming. Kermit. Puppet. Now that’s real comedy.

    Foob: Come on, John. Offer to show him your trains.

    Foxtrot: Ah, a Duke Nukem Forever joke. This is how we know Bill Amend is a true geek, and not just posing to get chicks.

    Prickly: Oh, those nasty liberal-shaped scribbles and their profanity. Next thing you know, we’ll be calling our constituents *ssh*les in personal correspondence, or maybe telling rivals to go f*ck themselves on the Senate floor.

37. Frankie
    April 25th, 2006 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    MotoMike(35): My fiancee’s brother was moving out of his apartment, and we (future Mrs.) and he and I were at a drug store getting cleaning supplies, so he wouldn’t get rooked out of his cleaning deposit. He said, “Oh, I need a mop for the kitchen floor.”
    I said, “No, just get some windex and paper towels. Spray the floor down, then use your foot to mop up with the paper towels.”
    My fiancee was horrified that this is my standard of floor cleaning. But the wedding is still on.
    And as long as we’re sharing shaving cut first-aid, I’ll add that most cuts can be tended to with clear gel deodorant.
    Am I a ‘Plugger?’ Should I submit that tip?

38. Pelagius
    April 25th, 2006 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    What are the pluggers plugging, and what are they plugging it with?

39. mere cog in the machine
    April 25th, 2006 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    FOOB: Enough! Anthony is a tool, a total frigging tool, and we’re supposed to feel SORRY for him?? This ineffectual, fuzzy-moustached closet polesmoker needs to be put in a dress and bitchslapped around Foobville by Everett True.

40. aaron dumin
    April 25th, 2006 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    So, the Forths are getting clones to help out with the yard work, eh? Pretty Clever, Ted. I guess we all know what your job is now.

41. Frankie
    April 25th, 2006 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    In Sally Forth, what isn’t shown is the next line of dialog:
    “Sh!+! They found the body. Ted, start the car. I’ll grab our passports and the go bag!”

42. JudeMorrigan
    April 25th, 2006 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    When I read today’s FOOB, the last panel seemed to suggest to me that Anthony was lying through his teeth and that John was going to turn out to be the one who was being snookered, despite his being the one to point out how easy it is to lie to an honest man. I seem to be the only person who isn’t taking things on their face value though. Am I hopelessly cynical or hopelessly naive thinking that Lynn might be writing something a bit less loathesome than Anthony Gud, Therese Baaaad?

43. Irina
    April 25th, 2006 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Um. Um. Holding back tears here, folks …

    I … I … I’ve been known to mop up a bit of spilt water with my sock. I’m a plugger?

    I can’t be, dammit! I live in Washington DC! I own three computers! I listen to show tunes! I own a Prius! Please! Please say it ain’t so!

    I’ll add my bit of freakiness to the Murraysville mess. I was born there. Lived there till 1977. Any of you naitives attend Holiday Park Elementary School or OBlock Jr High?

44. Anon
    April 25th, 2006 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    #42

    FBOFW: Sadly, I think the plot is just that simple. From all of the past strips featuring his troll of a wife, she was always made really easy to hate with Anthony being the faithful honest good guy.

    He just comes off as a spineless wuss though. I feel no sorrow for him and that annoying mustache.

45. Irina
    April 25th, 2006 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    Oh, Josh!

    Thanks for the bottom back/fwd links!!!!

46. Benicillin
    April 25th, 2006 at 9:51 am [Reply]

    Josh with yer fancy 3 ply paper towels and yer high-falutin’ blog thing and yer mister big time attitude one thing I know is you ain’t never done is you ain’t never skinned no deer. You sit there in yer little sweet computer job with yer techie friends an yer fancy silk socks an think how people like me wipe our spillins with our cotton socks and you enjoy little chuckles back n forth but put you to work on a farm boy an we’ll see you wipin yer college boy tears with yer mister big time silk socks. I’m laughin now just thinkin bout you havin to put a sick cow down I reckon we’d have to put you down mister big time blogger man. I know you ain’t skinned no damn deer.

47. MotoMike
    April 25th, 2006 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    Frankie (#37):
    Only you know if you’re a plugger – it’s an inner thing. Expert opinion is divided on whether or not it’s genetic.
    Thanks for the valuable tip on shaving cut first-aid, although it’s too late for my dad, who passed away almost thirty years ago …. long enough for me to just suggest the image of how the people that made up his face for the open casket viewing were given special instructions about his shaving habits and how two or three tiny red-daubed pieces of Kleenex would inspire comments about how lifelike he looked.

    … kidding!

    … they used clear deoderant gel.

48. rich
    April 25th, 2006 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    43: I’ve wiped spills with my sock too, but only if it’s a few drops. With a spill that size, the idiot plugger will now have to change his socks. I’m sure this isn’t what Ms.Kellner intended.

    31: Is that Marilyn Manson?

49. Sourbelly
    April 25th, 2006 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    Not to be a pill, but I don’t think that outsourcing a paper to India that praises outsourcing to India constitutes irony. Now, if it were a paper DENOUNCING outsourcing, we’d be in business irony-wise.

50. Ape Lad
    April 25th, 2006 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    Clear gel deodorant applied directly to a cut is a great way to introduce aluminum directly into your bloodstream. Which may or may not be a bad thing.
    http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_216a.html

51. Vu42
    April 25th, 2006 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    Wow! Silly me! And I thought Pluggers was about college-educated, East Coast-dwelling, liberal urban elitists!

52. Endoplasmic Reticulum
    April 25th, 2006 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    Actually, the plugger rhino mopping up his spill with a sock represents a significant evolutionary step forward. Most rhinos on the African plain would simply lick up their spill and go about their business.

    Paper towel use won’t evolve for another thousand years.

53. Mountain Mama
    April 25th, 2006 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    So is mopping up a spill by using a paper towel but pushing it with your foot acceptable or not?

54. Sheila
    April 25th, 2006 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    Irina, I bet you went to grade school with my boyfriend. He moved from Holiday Park to Pittsburgh in ‘75 or ‘76 — he was 12 or 13.

55. Adfella
    April 25th, 2006 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    GIRL IN TODAY’S GIL THORP

    Is it just me, or does that poor, unfortunate girl in panel three of today’s Gil Thorp look like she fell out of the Ugly Tree and hit every branch on the way down?

56. Sheila
    April 25th, 2006 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    dlauthor #36: NOT ONLY THAT, but wait’ll that cabbie sees Spidey on the news, swinging around those very buildings. “Hmmmm, picked up a fare today who had a duffle bag and wanted to go to TALL BUILDINGS…” Guess someone knows Peter’s secret identity now, or can at least take a good guess!

    Superheroes have NO common sense.

57. BassoGap
    April 25th, 2006 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    Adfella (#55) – not only did she hit every branch on the way down, but the tree then fell on her, knocking her wig a bit sideways.

    or…maybe…like in the first MIB movie, she’s an alien bug, “wearing a Marjie suit”?

58. Howard Erk
    April 25th, 2006 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    People who claim that they have never sopped up a spill with their sock are the same people who say they don’t pee in the shower. And don’t say you don’t do it. We know you do. We have it on film.

59. dlauthor
    April 25th, 2006 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    Oh, I’ve sopped up spills with my sock. I mean, God, I was a twentysomething bachelor once.

    What I _don’t_ do is brag about it in a nationally syndicated comic strip, proclaiming: “this here’s muh MOP!”

    And that, apparently, is what makes me not a Plugger.

60. Ape Lad
    April 25th, 2006 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    I solemnly testify I have never in my life sopped up a spill with my sock.
    a) I rarely wear socks when lingering about the home.
    b) There is nothing more absurdly annoying than wearing a damp sock.
    c) I am not a bipedal rhino with a predilection for long island ice teas.

61. Marc
    April 25th, 2006 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    Wow, I didn’t know we had so many Pennsylvanians on this website. Now, I just need to find some Northern New Jersians.

62. Mike
    April 25th, 2006 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    I’m sure I’m not the first person to point this out on this site, but today’s Sally Forth makes it especially clear: about 70% of the time, if you read only the last panel of SF, it’s a fairly raunchy little comic strip.

63. Mike
    April 25th, 2006 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    I’m sure I’m not the first person to point this out on this site, but today’s Sally Forth makes it especially clear: about 70% of the time, if you read only the last panel of SF, it’s a fairly raunchy little comic strip.

64. Widdle Jeffy
    April 25th, 2006 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    I am looking forward for a week of Jeffy getting emotionally (and hopefully physically) beaten up by older brother Billy.

    I bet in real life the Keane family reunions are a laugh a minute, especially now that Jeffy is using the rounded panel as his couch to work out all his inner demons.

65. Backswitch
    April 25th, 2006 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    RE #39- Totally agreed. Anthony is a freaking loser- a self-loathing, pathetic sad sack who has spent his 10 years since high school wallowing in misery. I’ll bet he bawls as he masturbates in the bathtub, reminiscing about his first kiss with Liz

66. rich
    April 25th, 2006 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    Do any dads actually call their daughters “Princess,” as in today’s Rex Morgan? Seems a bit yucky t’ me. (Or a bit “Father Knows Best.” Which was also yucky.)

    Well, at least little Sarah is still a tot. Sam Driver addressing his 18-year-old stepdaughter as “Princess” last month was worse.

    (PS – dlauthor, you’ve got mail — post #90 on previous thread.)

67. Sheila
    April 25th, 2006 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    Marc, I grew up in Northern New Jersey… but of course I now live in Western Pennsylvania! (Pittsburgh, where else?)

    That whole “princess” thing is sooooo sick-making…

68. Krelmoon
    April 25th, 2006 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    My parents lived in filth just as Josh described with multiple stains on the kitchen lino and a living room carpet that was it’s own ecosystem. You don’t have to be eliteist to find that offensive. I had to join the millitary for a stich to have my filthy upbringing beat out of me. Back in the day I would do the sock thing as dad was too cheep and we would run out of paper towels. If i had to, I would throw the socks into the pile of unclean laundry and go barefoot. I just grossed myself out thinking about it. This is in a suburb of Boston so slobs can be found anywhere without regards to demographics.

69. naugahyde
    April 25th, 2006 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    Norm Drabble’s dad did the sock wipe-up thing just a couple of months ago. Yeesh, original

70. Concerned Citizen
    April 25th, 2006 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    I am looking forward to the day when I can drop the Mr. and assume the honorific Ol’ Man. It should allow me to expose myself to the neighbors and shout hostile comments at them when the rivet their heads in another direction to avoid staring at my ancient flacidness. Either that or I’ll just read the paper, take a nap and wait for the ambulance.

    Ol’ Man Citizen…has a nice ring.

71. theGrowler
    April 25th, 2006 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    Before reading the dialogue in the first panel of Sally Forth, I thought that the family was aghast at seeing duplicate versions of themselves on their own lawn.

72. juggernaut
    April 25th, 2006 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    damn fine Pluggers rant, Josh. The OBVIOUS way to mop up spills on yer kitchen floor is to toss a wad of the napkins you stole from BK onto the offending mess, and push THAT around with yer foot. And maybe scratch yer ass while you do it.

73. Hillbilly, Please » Blog Archive » Enjoying
    April 25th, 2006 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    [...] And don’t try to tell me that you represent the “real America,” because I live in America and we have these things called paper towels. [...]

74. mere cog in the machine
    April 25th, 2006 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    You know, the gurney might not be for ol’ man Gezundheit. It might be for the body of one of the numerous stray children that have disappeared in the Forth’s neighborhood over the last 50 years or so. If they go back in with buckets this supposition will have been confirmed.

75. Smitty Smedlap
    April 25th, 2006 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    Is that rhino wearing stirrup pants?

76. anon
    April 25th, 2006 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    Is that rhino wearing stirrup pants?

    Actually, he is wearing his waders. He lives in such abject filth, it is the only way to make it to the bathroom safely and not wind up in the hospital for 2 weeks with some serious infection.

77. kostia
    April 25th, 2006 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    #3: This week is not about B.D. losing his leg. It’s about something far more important: B.D. losing his helmet.

    I expect it to pay off big.

78. Big Business
    April 25th, 2006 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    If Josh wants to make some money, he could put up a Pluggers’ Brand Mop Sock along with his other shameless t-shirts, hats, and other items. You could clean up with that. (ugh)

79. Justafoob
    April 25th, 2006 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    I wonder if we will ever get Therese’s side of the story. They lived in a two story house but I think we just may see the saint’s side and not the sinner’s. ‘Course Anthony was sniffin’ around Liz not that long ago. Being the honest guy that he is, I certainly hope he told Therese all about it.

80. Library Cat
    April 25th, 2006 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    #46

    “put you to work on a farm boy”

    It’s just a Pluggers comic there is no need to go all Deliverance on Josh.

    Okay, I think we’ve covered all the options but this: what if we just ignore the spill and walk out of the kitchen? What kinda grub-monkey would that be?

81. Pluggerman
    April 25th, 2006 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    Okay, I think we’ve covered all the options but this: what if we just ignore the spill and walk out of the kitchen? What kinda grub-monkey would that be?

    I just ingore the spill and hope that the dog/cat/rats take care of it.

    In the absense of a mop I’m employing vermin.

82. Sassy_Rocks
    April 25th, 2006 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Lou is discouraging Kelly from the diet so that she’ll get facial cosmetic surgery instead. A good surgeon could do wonders with her mis-shapen head and double chin. After the surgery she should see a hair stylist to do something about the Dawn Westonesque bowl cut.

    Much like the scrotum-chinned geezer, the whole Anthony/Lizardbreath treakle will not die. Now it is taking on a life of its own and ‘breath will dump DooRight to be back with her true love. Count on it.

83. rich
    April 25th, 2006 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    65: Anthony is a freaking loser … I’ll bet he bawls as he masturbates in the bathtub, reminiscing about his first kiss with Liz

    …and cinnamon buns!

84. Sassy_Rocks
    April 25th, 2006 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    Gordo and Anthony both have hypnotic swirlies on their glasses. Besides the hypnotic suggestions, what if any sex appeal do they have? Gordo is a deathly boring middle aged plumper with bozo the clown hair loss and Anthony is an equally boring, p-wed, testicle-free excuse for a man with the cheeziest moustache in comicdom. It’s not coincidence that they end up working together…

85. Happenstance
    April 25th, 2006 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    #28: Oddly, the Kelpfarts are still living downstairs. The otherwise-angelic landlady is currently complaining that it’s not right that people have “so many rights.” Lynn is a closet fascist? Wow.

86. Justafoob
    April 25th, 2006 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    Gordo and Anthony both have hypnotic swirlies on their glasses. Besides the hypnotic suggestions, what if any sex appeal do they have? Gordo is a deathly boring middle aged plumper with bozo the clown hair loss and Anthony is an equally boring, p-wed, testicle-free excuse for a man with the cheeziest moustache in comicdom. It’s not coincidence that they end up working together…

    they just can’t quit each other

87. Jeff
    April 25th, 2006 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    Here’s an idea for Pluggers. Have the Rhino on the toilet taking off his sock. The caption below could read, “Plugger Toilet Paper.” When the Plugger “artist” receives this gem of an idea, he’ll say, “What a great idea! I do that all the time!” So what do win if he picks your idea? I bet it’s a great prize!

88. Happenstance
    April 25th, 2006 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    #85: …and now I’m trying to remember where I saw that strip, because I can’t find it and I’m starting to get paranoid. I know I saw it. WHERE IS IT?

89. MJ1066
    April 25th, 2006 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    #88: The May 12 FBOFW was accidentally posted in advance on the Web site. It was only there for a few hours before someone realized the mistake and took it off.

90. Ape Lad
    April 25th, 2006 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    #87: Taking off a sock is far too much work. A true plugger would go for the shirt-tail wipe angle. Assuming a shirt is being worn, of course.
    Come to think of it, why would a plugger even bother to wipe at all? They are already accustomed to walking around in their own filth, why not sit in it too?

91. Sheila
    April 25th, 2006 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    Reminds me of various ex-boyfriends of mine, who’ve “helped” clean up after dinner by brushing all the crumbs off the table onto the floor. Like, who the hell do you think is gonna clean the floor, you PLUGGER, you????

    Wet Koolaid socks. Feh.

92. dlauthor
    April 25th, 2006 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    66: Thanks, Rich.

    So here’s the link to the funniest single comic I’m likely to read all week:

    http://www.comicspage.com/comicspage/main.jsp?catid=1952&custid=69&file=20060424cpbss-a-p.jpg&code=cpbss&dir=/bliss

    I’m not sure if it’s his bored facial expression or the artful rendering of the flames I enjoy more.

93. Sassy_Rocks
    April 25th, 2006 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    Re 91: It could be worse, Sheila. Did you have any Lou Stirling type ex-boyfriends who forced you to eat those crumbs?

94. brendan
    April 25th, 2006 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    82: Much like the scrotum-chinned geezer, the whole Anthony/Lizardbreath treakle will not die. Now it is taking on a life of its own and ‘breath will dump DooRight to be back with her true love. Count on it.

    No way. I totally disagree. But let me digress: this week’s FOOB is getting so gay, I’m ready to grow a moustache myself. I’m halfway convinced that the references to Dr. P. looking at smut on the internet (conversation with April, I believe in february) are about the doc looking at gay porn. He’s gonna ride Anthony’s moustache, and Elly will catch them in flagrante.

    But I digress. My boss and I obsess over the strip, and especially the Liz/Anthony/DoWright thread. The way I figure it, Anthony is going to make a play for Liz, but she will reject him. In despair, he will attempt suicide in some really melodramatic fashion, perhaps jumping off of a building or cliff, or into a river. The humiliation will climax when Paul Wright rescues him, which will be the ultimate emasculation and castration of Anthony Caine, who is an allegory for impotence: he can’t get the girl of his dreams; his wife wears the pants in the family; his wife LEFT him… it just goes on and on.

    I’d still prefer it if he humped Dr. Patterson on Elly’s bed.

95. Marc
    April 25th, 2006 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    Shiela, I’m not sure what you’re talking about with the princess thing, unless your talking about how spoiled the children are?

96. Sassy_Rocks
    April 25th, 2006 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    Re: 94

    Brendan, what is the compelling attraction of Mountie DooRight? I know LB performed oral sex in the car and dirty danced with him but it really seems like more of a shallow fling compared to the deep love she has for her soulmate childhood sweetheart, Anthony. DooRight is more of an obsessive compulsive stalker type. However, he does have Elly’s saintly endorsement, which is huge.

    btw: How long do you think Grampa will last?

97. Desoto
    April 25th, 2006 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    If I wrote for FBOFW my plotline would be…

    Realizing who her true love really is, Liz takes up with Howard. Meanwhile, Anthony falls into the arms of Lawrence, Terese runs off with Deanna, Dr P just runs off, and April elopes with Edgar.

    THE END!

98. TheMagicMel
    April 25th, 2006 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    94 & 96: Lynn has given DooRight the ’special face treatment’ complete with chin dimple, where as ol Ant’ny has a push-broom moustache…so he’s got the foob equivalence of stud-dom going for him & therefore my vote. Plus, he lives up near the Mitgwaki (sp?) village, so Lizardbreath can still play teacher up North.

    And, hopefully, Grampa will kick soon so we don’t have to look at his chins any longer.

99. Sassy_Rocks
    April 25th, 2006 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    Isn’t the ’stache often associated with porn stars? For all we know DooRight may be built like Cupid and Anthony is hung like Steve Stallion…That may be the deciding factor in Lizardbreath’s decision process.

100. Vince M.
     April 25th, 2006 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

     Prickly: That’s right, single out the known liberal for the @%**!! – I’d be more impressed if she took Sgt. Snorkel to task.

101. ebtnut
     April 25th, 2006 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

     Irina: No, you’re probably not a Plugger. I think maybe it’s a ‘Burg thing. My wife (McKeesport) mops the kitchen floor, then we slide around the floor on paper towels to dry it. And isn’t it MurrAysville? Still pluggin’ away in Rockville.

102. AwfulArt
     April 25th, 2006 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

     X-Mass 1953.. Mammy & Pappy Yokum are visiting Dr. Rex Mudhen in Classic “Li’l Abner”… I was still learning to read back in 1948 when “Rex Morgan” was created.. Have been reading about the Yokum’s everyday for about 7 years. I think the best strip ever….Even better then “PBS”…..

103. Josh
     April 25th, 2006 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

     Hey Irinia (#45)-

     No worries on the navigation links at the bottom of the comments thread. I’ve been meaning to mention it and thank you for suggesting it. Once I had a few minutes to sit down and figure it out it turned out to be remarkably easy to do.

     jf

104. lilybdcsa
     April 25th, 2006 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

     And it’s great! Much better than scrolling back up to the top. We’re so spoiled.

105. mere coc in the machine
     April 25th, 2006 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

     I am eagerly awaitng the strip where Anthony simply cuts off his balls and sends them to Liz via her father. I mean c’mon! Are all men drawn and written by women such sick-making nancys?

106. Julia
     April 25th, 2006 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

     Hillary: “Awww, but I wanna see a dead person!”

107. Jake Boone
     April 25th, 2006 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

     Is it just me, or is the plant in the background of Judge Parker reaching waaaay forward to caress Abbey’s cheek? Is this a Little Shop of Horrors crossover?

108. Len
     April 25th, 2006 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

     #94 — Geez, who better than a dentist to put a tool into your mouth? Open up, Anthony, here comes the engine into the tunnel! I think I can, I think I can, I think I can… Toot toot!!

     Does Anthony have pointed ears? It was one of those mixed marriages — French Canadien and Elvish?

     Maybe Anthony will move up to Mtiggie-hoohah with Elizardbeth, and sell designer coffees to the Native Canadians.

109. Lor
     April 25th, 2006 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

     Marc, I started life in Lodi, if that counts. Don’t remember any of it, but my parents’ stories live on.

     “Marjie and the Mopping Rhinos” would be a good name for April’s band.

110. MLH
     April 26th, 2006 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

     Josh – we’ve discussed this before. You can’t worry about “Pluggers”. The use of socks as floormops by Oklahomans just doesn’t matter.

     Moreover, you can’t worry about the hypotheical kids and pets of “Pluggers” characters. “Pluggers” are bears, large dogs, or in this case rhinoceri, albiet flannel and jean clad. Accordingly, they don’t have pets and their kids are small bears, dogs, or in this case rhinoceri. Such creatures are used to a substantial degree of squalor. Let them do whatever they want, or in the case of “Pluggers” readers, whatever they wants.

111. Stephen
     April 27th, 2006 at 7:37 am [Reply]

     #102 Are you saying Lil’ Abner was the best strip of all time? I know it’s considered a classic, but Al Capp was a snarky individual who seemed to have nothing but contempt for his characters. It reads like FOOB if it was populated only by Becky McGuire(spoiled princess), Eric Chamberlain(Liz’s Cheating Boyfriend),Kortny Krelbutz (Antique Store Thief) and Melvin Kelpfroth(Cigar smoking downstairs neighbor)

     His pen had more venom then a den of vipers without the laughter. His artwork was only as good as his assistents, (like Frank Frazetta) which he needed because of his poor layuout skills.

112. Stephen
     April 27th, 2006 at 7:37 am [Reply]

     #102 Are you saying Lil’ Abner was the best strip of all time? I know it’s considered a classic, but Al Capp was a snarky individual who seemed to have nothing but contempt for his characters. It reads like FOOB if it was populated only by Becky McGuire(spoiled princess), Eric Chamberlain(Liz’s Cheating Boyfriend),Kortny Krelbutz (Antique Store Thief) and Melvin Kelpfroth(Cigar smoking downstairs neighbor)

     His pen had more venom then a den of vipers without the laughter. His artwork was only as good as his assistants, (like Frank Frazetta) which he needed because of his poor layuout skills.

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