Main content:

Trade all of my tomorrows

The Comics Curmudgeon Spring 2010 Fundraiser

Today is the final day of the biannual fundraiser — so if you haven’t already, please join me and and your other fellow readers in supporting Josh Fruhlinger’s fine work here on the Comics Curmudgeon. Act now — thank you!

Click above to contribute by credit card or PayPal, here to contribute by check, or here for more details — Thanks!

Apartment 3-G, 3/26/10

Hey, it’s Dr. Skully “Chemo” Bryant, by all appearances — and against all odds — still alive! In a fit of dementia last September, Bryant turned over his lucrative psychiatric practice to medical impersonator Aristotle Papagoras, who quickly transformed it into a walk-in narcotics dispensary and Love Shack, setting the Bobbie Merrill story in motion.

Today, Dr. Bryant makes good his commitment to locate Merrill’s medical records, showing Papagoras that words like “professional” and “oath” still mean something to somebody in his business any more. The records had been filed under Bobbie Merrill’s married name, which was …. Which waaaaaaas …?

Anton Chekhov is famously reported to have said, “If in Act I you have a pistol hanging on the wall, then it must fire in the last act”. Well, faithful readers, we have our pistol, and the clouds are gathering for the final act — but whose will it be?

Hägar the Horrible, 3/26/10

It’s funny because that’s what the word means! Seriously, aren’t we approaching some kind of limit on what qualifies as “wordplay”?

Mary Worth, 3/26/10

Mary, already in her priestly garb, calls from outside the compound on her burner cell, but her chosen sacrifice evades the trap. Honestly! Salmon squares it is, then.

In panel two, Toby dashes off a landscape while her portrait of Ian dries.

Slylock Fox, 3/3, 3/19, 3/26/10

“I see. Well, let’s go back up to 30 milligrams and see if they stop.”

– Uncle Lumpy

189 responses to “Trade all of my tomorrows”

  1. Walker of Dog
    March 26th, 2010 at 1:56 am [Reply]

    A3G: Aristotle is paralyzed by the inscrutable question: “I don’t know – do I have a minute?” While we await the answer, the dots on Dr. Bryant’s head slowly rearrange themselves, forming the answer to today’s Jumble.

    MW: Toby, I’m impressed that you can carry on a phone conversation while painting a Silver Surfer historical scene AND getting a dig in on Mary’s absentee boyfriend AND keeping yourself upright in the Swirling Vortex of Disintegrating Perspective. You deserve a reward – take a clown head out of the pile.

    DT: Dick Tracy stabs himself in the throat with an ornamental letter opener. Violence: check. Dick Tracy lives in the suburbs?! Does not compute.

    FC: Thelma goes into the bathroom to get her special “Jeffy thermometer” (toilet tank lid).

    MT: The Parker brothers entertain the readers with a tribute to the great CBS comedies of the 1970s, featuring “Mary Richards” and “Michael ‘Meathead’ Stivic”. And then there’s “Maude”.

  2. Jason1981
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:05 am [Reply]


    Luann: Convincing as lovers? ….Since…..when?

    PBS: …..BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (really, there’s not much more you can say about today’s strip)

    MT: Quick, Mark– put some grass or something near your ears and disguise yourself as one of them! It can’t be too hard since everyone in the strip looks like you anyway.

    S-M: Umm..actually, didn’t you want to find out where the hell Wolverine is?

    RMMD: “We do?” I’m with June…..they need to have a conference? No, they just need to kick Farts…, er I mean Toots…out the door.

    Curtis: Well, he could’ve seen you through his shop’s window, looking all sneaky. That would tip anyone off. ……..Except for Spider-Man….and the entire cast of Luann , and Mark Trail…and any of the Pattersons..and..

    Stripey-butt: ” I wouldn’t want her chasing me! Her favorite games would probably be ‘hide and shoot’ and ‘ pin the rocket-propelled grenade on the Phantom!”

  3. Walker of Dog
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy, hilarious diagnosis of the Slylock Fox disorder. Should we assume that the artwork by young “James Parker” is actually Mr. Weber’s self-portrait in an art therapy session that went horribly wrong?

  4. Jason1981
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:10 am [Reply]

    reFOOB: What do YOU mean: “What do you mean ‘might have’? “? He just f*cking TOLD you the keys got sucked up! Oh well, at least he asked. smElly would just make the Scunched up Face of Constipation, or used the “Sparky Rip-off Shriek”

  5. Farley's Revenge
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:19 am [Reply]


    I saw a large picture on a package of dog snacks that looked like Marmaduke dressed in a clown outfit, including fright wig. The stuff of nightmares — a combo of Marm and It.

    Man. I hope Baka Gaijin doesn’t read that. We might never get him to stop screaming.

  6. kanomi
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:20 am [Reply]

    “Her portrait of Ian.” :D

    And now, Tokyo Sun presents the Ha! Ha! USA Funnies:

    Archie aka Elvis Time Teens: New health plan makes heavy, clumsy USA teens do exercise. Surprise entrance of President Black Obama.

    Blondie aka Buxom Housewoman: Revolutionary new Sony Talking Robot answering machine rejected by USA oaf.

    DTM aka Sinister Overalls Boy: Mister Wilson can not enjoy a paper of USA comics! Evil neighbor boy follows his every step with terrifying hauntings!

    Dilbert aka Scribbly Salarymen: Incompetent manager, untrained leader, lack of wa evident. These Chris Farleys want to build a hydrogen car! Get it?!?! Ha ha ha!

    FC aka Baka Family in Round Picture: “Dearest Mother, I am ignorant of basic science. Please send me to bed with no supper and the Yoshimi Medical Encyclopedia.”

    MT aka Nature Punchman GO!: Mr. Trailer employs chameleon power of going invisible! The surlies growl and run but the search is useless!!

    Shoe aka Dimension B!: Birdmen City: You have a shoddy USA car. Why not try a Toyota? Computer brake problems exaggerated by Yankee media for trade dispute purposes only. I love those wonderful, feeling good cars!

  7. Mibbitmaker
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:21 am [Reply]


    (woo-hoo![/Homer Simpson])

  8. Mibbitmaker
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:23 am [Reply]

    MW: A clown painting? Strip, you really know how to hurt a guy! Sorry, Baka Gaijin.

  9. Hamburger Cheesedoodle
    March 26th, 2010 at 3:20 am [Reply]

    Hagar the Horrible: Ha-ha! Wait, isn’t every house at a giveaway price when you are a bloodthirsty pillager? Does being a viking butcher not count for anything these days?

  10. True Fable
    March 26th, 2010 at 3:27 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#7): It’s like receiving Hell’s Telegram saying, “Bloodbath on the way! Stop! Carnage to Follow! Stop!”

  11. Suzii
    March 26th, 2010 at 4:06 am [Reply]

    A3G: OMG, that’s right. It’s going to be us and Bobbie Magee.

  12. Jack Parsons
    March 26th, 2010 at 5:30 am [Reply]

    Is that a clown painting or a peeping tom with elephantiasis of the lips?

    #: A3G: Aristotle is paralyzed by the inscrutable question: “I don’t know – do I have a minute?” While we await the answer, the dots on Dr. Bryant’s head slowly themselves, forming the answer to today’s Jumble.
    - COTW

  13. Lesser Whark
    March 26th, 2010 at 6:15 am [Reply]

    Luann: Are we sure Gunther is carrying a torch for Luann? I think he’s jealous of Luann because she’s kissing Quill. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Except that Gunther is infectiously boring: not only is he tiresome himself, he induces it in everyone he talks to. As usual, Josh pegged it 5 years ago.

    SM: This one strip has more action than the entire previous year. Working hypothesis: the excitement of events in the Spider-Man Universe is proportional to distance from Peter Parker. Admittedly, there is one counter-example.

  14. yellojkt
    March 26th, 2010 at 6:33 am [Reply]

    I was on Twitter last night and saw these tweets. From Ana Marie Cox, the original Wonkette:

    I check @jfruh’s Comics Curmudgeon every day. You should and donate if poss.

    And from John Hodgman the PC Guy from Mac and PC commercials:

    I check @jfruh’s Comics Curmudgeon not hourly, MINUTELY every day. You should too, and donate some dollar sign if poss.

    Who knew Josh had such celebrity followers?

  15. Lesser Whark
    March 26th, 2010 at 6:47 am [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#1): Yes, and the reason Aristotle has to ask if he literally has a minute is because that’s how long it takes to pronounce Bobbie’s surname. She’s actually an honourary M?ori Queen, and her surname has 30 syllables.

    9CL: Of the many things I despise about this strip, a high point is that background characters have no emotions of their own. All they can do is bathe in the reflected light from Brooke’s favoured. As we’ve already discussed, Bill’s parents don’t get the slightest mention. In today’s strip, in the real world, anything human and female approaching a PoW camp fence would collect a large audience.

    I can only infer that most occupants of the 9CL Universe have human proportions, and that Edna and Kiesl’s chimpanzee faces are unusual – they are a distinct species which only attracts each other. The stunned silence at Edna’s concert was in fact disbelief that a creature with a jaw larger than its brain could walk, let alone sing.

    Surely 1944 all real PoW camps had more than a single barbed-wire fence? Improvise some wire cutters from your shaving kit an a nutcracker, and you could go through that thing in seconds. You might also have guards to contend with, but they too seem lacking in this camp.

  16. Little Guy
    March 26th, 2010 at 6:53 am [Reply]

    Phantom: “HE is behind me… YOU are in front of me… if you value your lives BE somewhere else!”

    9CL: What’s “Hi, Dum Dum Boo Boo Head” in German?

  17. KarMann
    March 26th, 2010 at 7:03 am [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#16) on Phantom: You left out the footnote: “* In the warrior caste tongue”.

  18. ScienceGiant
    March 26th, 2010 at 7:05 am [Reply]

    MW: Hmm, Toby painting portraits of Pennywise the Clown. Well, that certain explains a lot!

  19. Shawn S.
    March 26th, 2010 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    Hagar, a Viking whose job is pillaging and looting whatever he wants, is wasting his time looking at abandoned houses? If that vulture isn’t eating a dead realtor in tomorrow’s panel I’m going to be very disappointed.

  20. Mela
    March 26th, 2010 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    9CL: Yes, surely all POW camps are as solitary as an Italian art film scene.

    A3G: Good old-fashioned artificial soap padding.

    Archie: Holy crap, the AJGLU3000 has discovered black people!

    Curtis: With one strip, Curtis is officially a better superhero than Spider-Man.

    Edge: Holy crap, they took my suggestion! Unfortunately, our thoroughly unlikable protagonists have the chutzpah to diss matzoh, officially making me more Jewish than them. I think the creator of this strip is secretly an Antisemite.

    GA: Ooh! Ooh! I know! Years of mismanagement by a syndicate that’s kept a strip alive solely for nostalgic reasons instead of quality ones have finally caught up to him, so he’s willing his own death in an effort to take the strip with him.

    Luann: They’re as convincing as lovers as Gunther is as a genuine friend & not a passive-aggressive stalker and Tiffany is as a well-realized, non-stereotypical character.

    MT: Their hair’s more stylish than anything seen in Mary Worth lately.

    MW: Mary’s friends conspire to ditch her.

    PBS: This wins for the morning.

    Pluggers: Pluggers keep their kids in box crates.

    RiR: These strips are marginally better when the artist remembers their morning peyote.

  21. Motorposus
    March 26th, 2010 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    MT: A special appearance by Javier Bardem as Sideburn Twin #1!

  22. colorado
    March 26th, 2010 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    MW: How did Red Skelton get there??

  23. Ned Ryerson
    March 26th, 2010 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    MW: Toby’s working on a creative interior design project. She’s painting on all the condo’s ceiling tiles. The clown one is slated to go right above the bed (next to a series of nude figure sketches Toby did of Ian).

    No? Okay, here’s my alternative joke for today’s Mary Worth:

    “Toby, get out now! Red Skelton might still be in the house!”

  24. Ned Ryerson
    March 26th, 2010 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Aw man, scooped me on the Red Skelton gag!

  25. John Chidley-Hill
    March 26th, 2010 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    I’m really excited for the gun battle that’s about to break out in Apartment 3-G.

  26. Ned Ryerson
    March 26th, 2010 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    Aw man, the reply thingy was missing. I meant colorado scooped me. I blame the PTCSD (Post-traumatic clown sight disorder).

  27. Écureuil Écumant
    March 26th, 2010 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    HTH: From the way Hagar’s eyeing that vulture, he seems to be calculating whether it’d taste better stewed or roasted.

  28. Ned Ryerson
    March 26th, 2010 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    I was all fired up to sock it to Pluggers because my first reaction was, yuck, this really veers away from the folksy, good ol’ pluggin’ away everyman theme and into “you might be a redneck” tackiness,…..but, OMG, I just remembered, my wife moved the dog’s cage next to the bed and put a board on top of it to make it a bedside table. The dog has this compulsive need to bed down near us, but we weaned her off of sleeping on the bed, so we’ve had this cage in the bedroom for years and the last time we rearranged the bedroom, she made this completely Plugger choice in home furnishing. Those who live in Plugger houses….

  29. mojo
    March 26th, 2010 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    Toby paints pictures of CLOWNS???

    As Hank Hill might have said, “That girl ain’t right.”

  30. Baron Bizarre
    March 26th, 2010 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    @kanomi (#6): “Nature Punchman GO!” made me laugh out loud.

  31. Écureuil Écumant
    March 26th, 2010 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    MW: Toeby’s made fantastic progress in her “Matchless” Mail-In School of Art classes. As soon as she finishes her current ottoman-sized painting, she’ll be ready to tackle the sofa-sized painting. Next, we can look forward to her graduation pool party.

    And @Jack Parsons (#12): If your lips remain engorged for longer than four hours, consult a physician immediately.

  32. Hibbleton
    March 26th, 2010 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    A3G: Dr. “Skull”y is bald. Dr. Ari is an “air”head. Bobbie is Julie Kohler.

  33. One-eyed Wolfdog
    March 26th, 2010 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    FC: *WHAM* Yes, I think you’ll find you are.

  34. Écureuil Écumant
    March 26th, 2010 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    Edge City: Nah, forget the matzoh and go with the garbage bag full of frogs instead. They’re easier to find than lice, flies and locusts this time of year, and alas for the Egyptians, YHWH didn’t send a plague of morels.

  35. One-eyed Wolfdog
    March 26th, 2010 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Futile Weltanschauungenbohn: Sure, the opposition is intimidating, but if these girls just pull together, play with their whole hearts, and really, truly believe in themselves, there no reason they can’t come out of this with at least two dead and a couple of highly communicable tropical diseases.

  36. Écureuil Écumant
    March 26th, 2010 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    A3G: It appears Dr. Bryant has shaved his skull, the better to resemble a Flyspeck Island peanut, so that he can gain its proportional powers of clairvoyance à la Curtis.

    This is the only way to explain his obviously intimate foreknowledge of the dire significance of Bobbie’s married name at this precise moment in strip history. Either that, or he’s the one who’s been writing the strip since September — which actually makes more sense, considering this is the most psychodrama it’s had in decades.

  37. Used to be Pinokeyo's Wife
    March 26th, 2010 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    I would have thought Mary quite the clever one to arrange her threesome (aka. “quiet night”) with the hook-nosed and aging porn star “Bonnie Johnson” (and husband/ co-star) on an evening that she knew that Toby and Ian could not reasonably attend, but then I remembered that no one discusses anything off the transitional storyline topic at pool party/segues.

  38. Toby Bartels
    March 26th, 2010 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Is it my imagination, or have Johnny Hart’s successors gotten their finks mixed up?

  39. Bizarro Stormy
    March 26th, 2010 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    It looks like the stage is set for Slylock Fox to follow Mary Worth’s example–specifically, to not appear in his own comic for a few months while this potentially-awesome Meteor subplot turns into something inexplicably boring.

  40. Tom
    March 26th, 2010 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    Why do Pluggers keep their grandchildrn in dog kennels? Is there a Pluggers CPS?

  41. Pozzo
    March 26th, 2010 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    I suspect Prof. Ari is really bald and that that fine-lookin’ mop he sports was torn whole off of Dr. Bryant’s dome. Look, you can still see the scars!

  42. Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
    March 26th, 2010 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    “You want hard? You got it.” may be appearing in Gil Thorp for the first time today, but I’m sure we’ve all imagined it there before.

  43. Little Guy
    March 26th, 2010 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    @KarMann (#17)on Phantom: “Religious Caste Tougue” would have been as acceptable.

    BTW, Does Stripey’s “Who brings a rubber boat to a gunfight?” qualify as Float-able?

  44. Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
    March 26th, 2010 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    When you want to be vicious and cruel and refer to someone as a mincing, prancing queen right to their face, I believe you could simply say that they have “Ted hands.” All that’s missing from panel three today is a sombrero and castanets.

  45. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 26th, 2010 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#16): yay 4 B5 ref!

    @kanomi (#6): more win.

    the punchiness to ensue in MT has already been well snarked upon.

    SF: smart man, that Ted. Hil’s a sharp cookie as well.

    RMMD: O_O. bats :[ is gonna have a field day with panel 2.

    PBS: *giggle* croc-strato?

    A&J: rawrr!

    Lio: the cure for gnomes. worked for Crookshanks, as well.

    on the comics related webcomics front, the latest installment of Weapon Brown features a reappearance of Mary from the Syndicate. Bring brain bleach. (also, nsfw due to Honey in a gimp suit.)

  46. commodorejohn
    March 26th, 2010 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    A3G – “Would I be on the phone with you if I didn’t? Oh, right, we have to drag this out until Saturday. Sorry.”

    A&J – Today the role of Arlo will be played by special guest star Ted Forth.

    Curtis – To the list of more effective superheroes than Spider-Man, add “Curtis.”

    DT – And by Dick’s blissful expression, I assume by “had our quota of music,” he means “slaked our eternal bloodlust.”

    FW – Tell, don’t show.

    GT – I suppose Ray is referring to his fist in that last panel, but since I long ago gave up paying any attention to the randomly appearing disembodied hands in Gil Thorp, my first assumption was that he was referring to, uh, other parts of his anatomy.

    Luann – You know, I still doubt this storyline is going anywhere remotely good, but could Gunther and Tiffany just stay there forever? Gunther moping, Tiffany scoffing, always seated before a production that neither of them likes…it’d be like Statler and Waldorf from The Muppet Show, only not as funny, but still orders of magnitude better than what will probably transpire.

    MT – Good lord. Did they devolve by a dozen millenia or so since their previous appearance? I’m surprised they still know how to use tools.

    MW – What I wouldn’t give to see Toby in Bob Ross hair.

    Popeye – “Rule one: Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men!”

    RMMD – Rex, you damn fool, never get between June and her prey!

    SF – I love this strip.

    SM – Really, I think this is kind of backfiring. Now I’m rooting for Sabretooth, the perpetually down-on-his-luck supervillain who never succeeds, because at least he tries for something instead of sitting around watching TV.

    Ziggy – From my limited experience, a better disclaimer might be “The following ‘chick flick’ may offend viewers who dislike having their intelligence insulted by treacly pap containing the distilled, genericized corporate approximation of wish-fulfillment for what the typical Hollywood screenwriter believes the average woman is like. May also contain a variety of unspoken creepy implications for one or both lovers.” But I suppose there’s only so much space in the panel, especially for Tom Wilson II’s giant block-print.

  47. Muffaroo
    March 26th, 2010 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    9CL – Two people staring at one another through a fence under the bored gaze of an armed guard. Now, that’s entertainment.

    A3G“Do you have a minute Aristotle?”
    “You too? Well, I really shouldn’t… oh, but what the hell. Yeah, come on over.”

    Dick – I have to wonder if “pop up” is yet another musical semi-demi-hemi-pun, a weak valedictory wave at the interminable story that just finally ended, and which we’ll probably miss in a week or two.

    Smirky Schadenfreude – Okay, they really were named for the Cedars of Lesbos. I can admit it when I’m wrong.

  48. Muffaroo
    March 26th, 2010 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    Luann – I get it now. These aren’t the show T-shirts, they’re the costumes. Similarly, the sets are slabs of cardboard labeled “candy shop” and “fire escape,” and the hand props are smaller pieces labeled “knife” and “gun.” The designers have carefully matched the level of realism to the quality of the acting and singing.

    Mark – I hadn’t realized what dorky hair these guys had. Have we heard their first names before? because I’m thinking they might be called “Judy” and “Babs.” No, wait. They’re both called “Judy.”

    Mary – “Now will you let me get back to my painting? I still have to do four landscapes and nine clown faces before lunch, and I’ll need both hands for that. ‘Magic of Oil Painting,’ my ass.”

    Mutts – Coming up: a trip to Starbucks, and an innocent misunderstanding about the right to “bear” arms.

  49. Muffaroo
    March 26th, 2010 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    6“What does she have that I don’t have?”
    It’s not better drawing. It’s not a unibrow. It’s probably not a more plausible relation to the horizon line, though it would be accurate to say so. The only possible answer I see is “a caveman,” and that’s just unfunny enough it might be the right one.

    @Andy L (#y192): Why would he imperil the war effort to save his country and his very way of life? Simple. Because she got his nose.

  50. TheDiva
    March 26th, 2010 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: Scraping the bottom of the malapropism barrel, are we?

    DT: “In other words, I don’t know and I don’t care.”

    FW: They’re the lovable underdogs, minus the lovable part.

    Lio: It may seem gross, but it’s really a sign of affection.

    Luann: I’m curious to see this production now, if only to learn how they stage dance numbers on that long, narrow stage.

    MW: Can’t sleep, clown will eat me….

  51. bluepencil
    March 26th, 2010 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    MW: “It’ll be a quiet night,” says Mary: Prelude to disaster — and a mega-meddle!

  52. Push Trot
    March 26th, 2010 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Scene: A suburban home. Middle aged man sitting in an armchair, reading a newspaper.
    Middle aged woman enters, hangs up her coat.

    She: Hi, honey

    He: Hi

    She: You’ll never guess who I ran into at the supermarket: Mary Worth. You know, from my old philosophy class.

    He: Mary Worth? The old overbearing gas-bag who lives up at Spinster City?

    She: Oh, Ernie, she’s delightful. I always find she has so much insight into the human character.

    He: You’ve got to be kidding. Haven’t you noticed how her eyes never seem to focus on anything when she talks? It’s creepy.

    She: Well, we’re having dinner at her house tomorrow, just so you know.

    He: WHAT? Have you lost your mind, Bonnie? The woman’s crazy. I know for a fact that she abducted a family dog a couple of months ago. She kept it for weeks, and when she finally returned it to its owners she actually expected them to thank her! They only agreed not to press charges because they felt sorry for the old bag.

    She: Oh, you’re just making that up because you don’t want to go.

    He: She’s mad, I’m telling you. You know Jeff from my poker club? He’s her on-and-off boyfriend. There’s a whipped man if ever I saw one. About a year ago he realized his life-long dream to go to the Far East to help sick kids. Well, when he got a bit of a cold and went to a local hospital, she actually FLEW over there and dragged him away from the hospital staff who was caring for him, and put him on a plane to America. The trip nearly killed him! And to this day whenever somebody mentions Vietnam around her she goe’s on this diatribe about how ‘yellow doctors’ nearly killed him. And he just sits there, with this sickly smile on his face. Ten wild horses couldn’t drag me to dinner at her place, Bonnie.

    She: Stop being silly, Ernie. She’s just a lonely old woman, and frankly I feel a little sorry for her. I remember when I read her husband had died some years ago, and they always seemed so happy together.

    He: … Well, about that … I’ve heard som stories about that too, but I haven’t been brougt up to listen to any old gossip. But we’re going there over my dead body.

    She: Now you’re being mean, Ernie. I already said we’d go. I like her, and I certainly won’t disappoint the kind-hearted old woman.

    He: I’m sorry, Bonnie, I’m sorry … This charade has gone on for far too long. I want a divorce.


  53. UncleJeff
    March 26th, 2010 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    JP: Hooray, Neddy’s coming back! Real soon! Yup, any time now. And she’s got a boyfriend! Maybe. We’ll see. Let’s ask her when she shows up! Soon.
    RMMD: Suddenly, Rex is a decisive man of action. Must be that great side boobage action June is showing.
    Phantom: Meanwhile, Stripey Butt is having some second thoughts about that “bang-bang” action he was going to talk with Cap’n Savarna about.

  54. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    March 26th, 2010 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    MT: If Anton Chigurh is after Mark, he might really be in trouble. No, wait—not even a cattle stun-gun could dent that spit-curled forehead.

    MW: For a fully satisfying meddlegasm, Mary requires someone to watch.

    A3G: Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod—Ari will finally get the news that will cause him to stop shtupping Bobbie! Or, alternatively: Ari will finally get the news that will cause him to continue to shtup Bobbie but whine even more about how fucking conflicted he is.

    FC: Just don’t hope for any Tylenol, kid; clearly, the family is too poor to even afford furniture to put the TV on.

    JP: Sam looks positively bereft in that last panel. “Abby… and the girls. I am surrounded by humans with vaginas. If only Randy could come with me—how happy we could be!”

    SM: Dear Stan Lee: I give up; I have been defeated by the idiocy of your comic strip. Sabretooth is going to ridiculous lengths, not to find the person he wants to find, but to find the person he thinks can tell him how to find the person he wants to find. To accomplish his goal, he steals a dino skull, but when someone catches him, he throws it away. The stupidity is relentless. You win: You officially have the worst-written comic strip around.

  55. MWDG
    March 26th, 2010 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    That looks like a John Wayne Gacy painting!
    What is the deal with this Bonnie? Why does Toby refuse to associate with her?
    Think about it!

  56. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    March 26th, 2010 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    @buschap (#y187): Nope, actually, in the WashPost, Doonesbury doesn’t run on the comics page; it’s always on page 2 of the Style section.

    @Farley’s Revenge (#y200): How desperate would Luann have to be to moonlight in a strip in which she’d be having marital relations with Chinbeard? I imagine her mantra must be, “Just lie back and think of prairie flowers.”

  57. Écureuil Écumant
    March 26th, 2010 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @46 commodorejohn said:

    DT – And by Dick’s blissful expression, I assume by “had our quota of music,” he means “slaked our eternal bloodlust.”

    Or perhaps, “laid some demons to rest”?

    Popeye – “Rule one: Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men!”

    Also excellent advice regarding Snuffy Smif and his kinfolk.

  58. Push Trot
    March 26th, 2010 at 10:56 am [Reply]


    “Drat! Just when I thought there would be no witnesses. Oh well, one day we will settle the score. Bide your time, George, bide your time …”

  59. Walker of Dog
    March 26th, 2010 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    @Push Trot (#52): Let’s see Luann and Quill perform this play! The stark tone would require them to wipe those idiot grins off their faces.

  60. Mibbitmaker
    March 26th, 2010 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    Cranky: Crankshaft, what the hell is WRONG with you??

    FC: Wow. Just, wow.

    GA: Fire her!

    MT: “We know these woods like the back of Ray’s hand! …From Gil Thorp.”

    Phantom: Uh… bad news, Stripey-Butt……..

    RMMD: You’re forgetting your place, Rex! (I really hate to type that, but…… it IS June, after all)

    S-M: But you have no reason… no rea… Spider-… it’s that other guy you… no reason to fight Sp………….. Oh, nevermind, Sabregoof!

    ZtP: Except that nobody in Dingburg is funny.

  61. Gabacho
    March 26th, 2010 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan MD – I’m pretty sure that Rex’s plan is to take Toots fishing up on Brokeback Creek for a little man-to-man talk and leave June to deal with the niece. At least, that would by my plan.

  62. Comcis Fan
    March 26th, 2010 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    MW: Toby thought bubble: “Hap-pee lit-tle clouds. Hap-pee lit-tle clouds.”
    Earlier in the day she became confused and painted a happy little clown.

  63. Bootsy
    March 26th, 2010 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    @Tom (#40):

    Is there a Pluggers CPS?

    It’s called the SPCA.

  64. ElkMeadow
    March 26th, 2010 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    @Lesser Whark (#13):
    Luann: Are we sure Gunther is carrying a torch for Luann? I think he’s jealous of Luann because she’s kissing Quill. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Except that Gunther is infectiously boring: not only is he tiresome himself, he induces it in everyone he talks to. As usual, Josh pegged it 5 years ago.

    Actually, your link to the past showed Dirk lurking in Brad’s car, violating the restraining order. It looks like that story arc was as close to Aldo quality as anything we’re going to get*, and we’re still waiting to find out what happened to the violent big guy. (I think everyone here agrees that he’s going to make another appearance, sometime.)

    Which brings me to the Spiderman link, which showed Rhino. In the weird world of coincidences, I recently read the Spiderman comic book “Flowers for Rhino”, based on “Flowers for Algeron”. “Flowers for Rhino” is a template for the Brad/Toni/Dirk mess we’re in here: Brad gets becomes a fire fighter, woos Toni away from Dirk (who disappears for a while), and when he becomes too smart for anyone’s good, she runs back to Dirk, because he knows how to treat her right. Brad gets a lobotomy and goes back to Weiner World.

    I liked the “Brad becomes a fire fighter arc” itself, as it showed part of the process and Brad flunking out at one point.
    *Delta’s cancer and Bernice’s crush on the guy in the wheelchar story arcs not included.)

  65. Anonymous
    March 26th, 2010 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    FC: This stopped being cute years later when PJ asked Thel to tell him if he had hemorrhoids.

    MW: Why, O WHY can’t that Slylock Fox strike down that 2nd MW panel?

  66. jailbird
    March 26th, 2010 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    Uncle Lump, you made me laugh out loud this morning… thanks for a great post!

  67. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 26th, 2010 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    GT: I see that Dingo has already weighed in on today’s Gil Thorp, but that doesn’t quite dispel my suspicion that he wrote it.

    MW: Now we know where half the Camerons’ income comes from. Toeby’s a ringer for death row inmates who want to be outsider artists but can’t keep their hands steady.

    H&J: I may be reading this wrong, but it looks like the titular duo just broke some white guy’s arm and are now razzing him as he hobbles away. Either their food is awesome or there are some serious masochists in town.

    RMMD: Now Rex just has to come up with a brainy-sounding paraphrase for, “That hottie with the goatee? I’m not letting him out of my sight.”

    DT: “I think we’ve had our quota of music for a while. Gunfire, carnage, young men cut down before their time, bereaved fathers. Yeah, I’m still up for all that good stuff. But the music’s gotta go.”

    BC: “Fink”? Perri Hart must still be toting around dad’s Insult Dictionary, 1961 edition.

    Popeye: Come on, Bad Bilge. Just carry around a sign that says, “I’m big and scary. Give me your loot.” If the balloon worked on these morons, that will too.

  68. Push Trot
    March 26th, 2010 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    Yeah, and Gunther would have his work cut out for him in the wardrobe department:

    “But why would a woman i her fifties wear a dress decorated with gigantic pot leaves?”

    “Just follow the directions, mule! [i]Mary Worth[/i] is an absurd drama, it’s not supposed to be a lifelike portrayal of actural, human behavior.
    The real problem is the costumes for the Mary Worth-character. I don’t know any fabric stores that carry stomach acid yellow.”

  69. Anonymous
    March 26th, 2010 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Push Trot (#52): You win one (1) Internet!

  70. zenvelo
    March 26th, 2010 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    A Tweet from FakeAPStylebook:

    “Feel free to run the underwear ads opposite the funny pages. It’s not like kids are reading “Beetle Bailey” anyway.”

    March 26th, 2010 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    MT- Poaching, so easy a caveman can do it.

  72. Uncle Ritzy Fritz
    March 26th, 2010 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#62): “W-whoa…that’s… art of a kind…I suppose…”

  73. Push Trot
    March 26th, 2010 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    Oh darn! Html is more difficult than I thought. Why didn’t I preview? I’ll try harder to live up to the site’s standards. Promise.

  74. spike
    March 26th, 2010 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#54): Re: the thrashing you gave Stan
    What’s left now for Batiuk and Brooke? Huh? @Little Guy (#16): How about “Hallo, Bubudumdumkopf!”? [And don't fergit the all-important Viennese accent!]

    @TheDiva (#50): Re: Lio I thought the same thing. Go, Cybil!

    Phanthom: Awww, Stipey’s dream, to be chased by Savarna whilst sporting that snappy purple rubber suit, is about to be realized.

    3AG: Prior to hunting down her spouse, his paramour and their love-child, Bobbie makes a quick stop at Ari’s place.

  75. spike
    March 26th, 2010 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Spazz at the keyboard–and apologies for using my “outside voice”.

  76. Aviatrix
    March 26th, 2010 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Into which side of the jagged-line telephone conversation panel will Bobbie lunge, brandishing her untraceable gun? Every comic strip should have a random character buy a gun, thereby making even the most tedious exchanges exciting with the knowledge that at any moment carnage could ensue.

    RMMD: What was exchanged between Rex and Toots in the basement was not made explicit, but clearly it was enough to make it clear to Toots what June is lacking, and what he thinks he can provide. If in the next strip she tells him he can stay so long as he cleans the garage, Wilson & Nolan are outed as serious CC fans.

  77. Bootsy
    March 26th, 2010 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    @Push Trot (#73):

    No worries. anybody who comes up with Nature Punchman GO! is Ok in my book.

  78. Push Trot
    March 26th, 2010 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    @spike (#75): Oh no, it’s spreading.

    By Jove, I think I’ve got it!

  79. Push Trot
    March 26th, 2010 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @Bootsy (#77): Thanks, but credit where credit is due: Nature Punchman GO! (yay!) is the excellent work of Kanomi. Keep those punches flyin’!

  80. Stan Lee
    March 26th, 2010 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#54):

    Excelsior, Mighty Marvel Maniac!

    Thanks for your kind words, and keep reading the adventures of your favorite wall-slinger!

    Stan Lee

  81. Aviatrix
    March 26th, 2010 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#76): If just realized I misread the speech bubble in RMMD, thinking that it was Toots requesting the conference. (Good thing there wasn’t a giant duck in the panel or I’d be really confused). I guess that means that information was exchanged between Rex and Toots, and that Rex will now reveal Toots’ shocking secret to June. Perhaps Brook got Toots pregnant.

  82. Poteet
    March 26th, 2010 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    DT — A friend recently described what a weasel did in her henhouse when it managed to get inside. I think I know what Dick was in his previous life.

  83. Poteet
    March 26th, 2010 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    PHANTOM — Are we to assume that the pirates are paddling toward a handy island or continent? Or are we supposed to assume that they go mad and perish from baking sun and thirst, but that’s just fine because they deserve it?

  84. Écureuil Écumant
    March 26th, 2010 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    BB: Wherever Company A is currently bivouacked, it’s certainly a quite appealing “combat zone”. I suspect their regular headgear would suffice, since the extent of enemy action would be their getting shat upon by spotted owls.

  85. Écureuil Écumant
    March 26th, 2010 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: So! You’ve seen her in action, eh, Phantom? I suspected the internet had finally arrived in Bangalla. Please be so kind as to forward me the URL.

  86. Calico
    March 26th, 2010 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    “Freedom’s just another word
    For nothing left to lose…”

    We’re getting warmer by the minute, no?

    UL, your Ian C and SlyFox comments made my day with a belly laugh. Or three.

  87. Walker of Dog
    March 26th, 2010 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#85): Click on that link at your own risk – for all we know, Savarna may only show up on the internet in Crone-vision.

  88. StrangeRover
    March 26th, 2010 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    Hey! Cut Toby some slack! She’s pushing the boundaries of velvet painting. Her seminal work Lepreclown is a sly turn on the velvet trope of Emmet Kelly.

  89. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 26th, 2010 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @ Little Guy (#16):

    9CL: What’s “Hi, Dum Dum Boo Boo Head” in German?

    Dunno, but you just made my day.

  90. Government Cheese
    March 26th, 2010 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Does Gunther have any normal shirts? What’s with all the buttoned up plaid year around? I assume he sleeps and showers in that clothes.

  91. Baka Gaijin
    March 26th, 2010 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    What? My ears have been burning. Now I know why. Sorta. That so-called “clown” in Mary Worth? I thought it was a leprechaun after a collagen injection disaster.

    Sally Forth: The rarely-executed reverse Jazz Hand!

    Mark Trail: That Parker Brother had a full face of hair earlier this week. Did his beard get infested by weevils in the canoe?

    Beetle Bailey: Combat chef’s touque? HA! Years of stuck-on “man juice” from he and Sarge’s after hours “cooking.”

  92. kanomi
    March 26th, 2010 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    @yellojkt (#14): I’m glad Josh is getting some recognition and I hope he gets more, because his comics commentary is currently the most consistently hilarious writing on the Internet that I know of, ahead of the Onion, Something Awful, Cracked, Penny Arcade, and some other sites I visit — to say nothing of the alleged “funny comics” he skewers.

    He’s right up there with my other all-time favorite, the now-defunct Old Man Murray game satire site. But videogames are easy and have a broad appeal, as are the worldy spectrum of topics some of those other sites cover. Reigniting people’s interest in an otherwise moribund and dying medium, well that takes moxie, as Margo might say.

  93. UncleJeff
    March 26th, 2010 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    GOATS! GOATS! at a museum in Madison.
    See for the story.
    Some images NSFW

  94. Sarah
    March 26th, 2010 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @Suzii (#11): Prescription narcotic abuse is just another word for nothing left to lose.

  95. Écureuil Écumant
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @91 Baka Gaijin said:

    Mark Trail: That Parker Brother had a full face of hair earlier this week. Did his beard get infested by weevils in the canoe?

    If you’re talking about Moe — and I think you are — it looks like he used it for hair extensions between today’s panel 1 and panel 2, where he suddenly sports a cute li’l flip like his bro’s.

  96. Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    Gutenmorgen, Dirne. Sie haben mein Leben ruiniert. Aller, den ich verlassen habe, ist meine Morgenzigarette und dreißig Männer mit den harten Penissen, um zufriedenzustellen. Ich hoffe, dass Sie langsam in Ohio sterben.

  97. Perky Bird
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    @Stan Lee (#80): Uh, I think you mean “web-slinger,” Stan. Although, it would be far more interesting and action-packed if Spider-Man went about slinging walls hither and thither. Walls composed of spectacular spider-bricks.

  98. Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Ahhhh!!!! My eyes! Is Toby in some kind of cubist nightmare? Painting on the Titanic just before the lights go out as everything starts sliding towards the bow? Can you imagine the gallery opening for the joint show that Toby and LuAnn could have? Sickly flowers painted under the influence of carbon monoxide, goaded by a ghost artist who never once painted anything like that in his real life paired off with someone who paints open mouthed ghosts swirling in a flat landscape while a clown leers with a bloody mouthed grin directing her every insane brushstroke!

  99. Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    Oh my god! How long did it take me to figure out that Bobbie Merrill’s real name will turn out to be Bobbie McGee? I mean, I had the pieces to this puzzle, but didn’t actually get the Kris Kristofferson/Janis Joplin reference until today. Now everything is illuminated, I can see clearly, and I feel slightly cheated.

    We better damn well see Bobbie McGee fire that gun.

    Hey if someone dies A3G will be officially the second deadliest comic on the funny pages, after Dick Tracy, edging out Funky Winkerbean!

  100. Perky Bird
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    Hey, Mary, Obi-Wan Kenobi called. He wants his robe back.

  101. Calico
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#96):
    Dingo, you never fail to crack me up. In a good way, not in a going-insane way.

  102. ms docweasel
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    Why do you need to beg for money several times a year? Really, I enjoy the site, but why do you have to have your own server and hosting, and pay for your own bandwidth? Vanity?

    If your site can’t make money through ads or other services, it’s a vanity site. You are not only presumptuous, you’re rude to ask for money so we can subsidize your little hobby.

    You could get free hosting on WordPress and your blog wouldn’t cost you a cent. Because of you are apparently too proud to use free hosting, you expect people to whose work DOES make a profit pay for your passtime, which instead of producing profit, is actually a rathole where you guilt your viewers into giving you money so you can continue this charade.. You must be a Democrat, I’m guessing.

    I’ll continue to read CC, but I won’t give you a penny. Really, bloggers who do this are despicable and lame. /adblocks the banner at the top of the page

  103. Sans Sense
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    MW: Here’s to hoping that the clown hovering over Toby represents a thought bubble of how she really feels about Mary AND that we will be treated to future thought bubbles from her.

  104. Baka Gaijin
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#95): Yeah, that would move the plot right along, now wouldn’t it.

  105. Harpa
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    @ms docweasel (#102): Normally I don’t contribute when there’s a fundraiser for Josh. However, after reading Ms. Docweasel’s bile, I made a point of donating this time!

    So thanks to Ms. Docweasel for inspiring me to do whatever she’s against! Hope other lurkers follow suit…

  106. commodorejohn
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    @ms docweasel (#102): Oh goody, I was wondering when you would show up. Like clockwork, every time there’s a fundraiser. I have to wonder why you have such a problem with it; it seems to me that asking for remuneration for providing services (i.e. entertainment) is basic capitalism. Could it be that you resent people who pay for their own hosting because it means they don’t have to clutter up their sites with ads for, say,

  107. tb4000
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    Jesus, Slylock Fox and Friends, quite being so fucking vague with your descriptions. You were easily able to describe Satan as the devil himself, yet you choose to describe one of his minions as merely “a creepy creature?” You just lost one reader.

  108. Poteet
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @Harpa (#105): Yeah, she had the same effect on me last year.

  109. Anonymous
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @Harpa (#105):

    Ms docweasel turned me into a lefty lib’rul! Thanks, and now back to your lair!

  110. spike
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#96): Ganz gut, mein Herr! Meiner Meinung nach, haetten Sie “…langsam in Westview, Ohio sterben” drucken sollen.

  111. Calico
    March 26th, 2010 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#109):
    Hell, I didn’t need Ms. Doc to turn into one a them radical lefties either!
    Yee haw.
    This is an example of the “reverse positive effect” – as for example, when the Phelps clan protested against gays in VT – I, amongst many others promptly sent a donation to Outright VT.
    So, in a weird way, um, thanks!

  112. Austria
    March 26th, 2010 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    Arch: Looks like Jughead is pretty strong when he puts his mind to it. Push-ups using only the tips of his fingers? Hard-freaking-CORE. And I gotta say, I really like the kid in the background getting pummeled. I love it when background characters have lives.

    RMMD: If Toots leaves, I’ll cry. First because of the fact that he’s gone. Second because of all the wasted potential for immature homoerotic subtext jokes. And those are my favorite kind.

  113. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    March 26th, 2010 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#16): Hallo, Dum Dum Booboo-Kopf!

  114. kanomi
    March 26th, 2010 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    @ms docweasel (#102): Seeing how is nothing but shit and porn, I don’t see how your unsolicited opinion is worth a fart in the dark.

  115. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    March 26th, 2010 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#86): I doubt Kris ever sang “Somewhere near NYC, Lord I couldn’t get rid of her drugged-out ass…”

  116. Calico
    March 26th, 2010 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    Prior to today, I didn’t know that Toby was a Red Skelton fan.

  117. Calico
    March 26th, 2010 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#115):
    Yeh, this is turning more into “The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway” part 2, but with guns, pills, and rice pudding.

  118. UncleJeff
    March 26th, 2010 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#115): But I’m sure Kris probably said it a few times. Along with “next time I’ll buy a pickup with an ejection seat”.:)

  119. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    March 26th, 2010 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @ms docweasel (#102): You obviously don’t read CC much at all, or else you’d know that Josh has never asked for a cent. And, no… Uncle Lumpy is NOT Josh.

    You probably think PBS is a vanity TV station, don’t you?

  120. ms docweasel
    March 26th, 2010 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    All the more cowardly of him to relegate the begging to a flunky.

  121. Red Greenback
    March 26th, 2010 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    Josh uses a teleprompter.

  122. mollificent
    March 26th, 2010 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

  123. ElkMeadow
    March 26th, 2010 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    @ms docweasel (#102):

    If your site can’t make money through ads or other services

    I don’t like looking at the same ads for tooth whitening and crap that is elsewhere. When Julie Powell was blogging her way through Julia Child’s “The Art of French Cooking”, she had a Pay-Pal account at her blog. Those who wanted to enjoy the site and pay for it, did; those who didn’t, didn’t.

    I suspect that you are an advertising sales rep who is having a very, very bad day.

  124. mollificent
    March 26th, 2010 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    oh, and I might add…@ms docweasel (#120): *yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn*

  125. Uncle Lumpy
    March 26th, 2010 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    Folks, don’t feed the trolls. They go away by themselves.

  126. mollificent
    March 26th, 2010 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    You’re right, Uncle Lumpy. *hangs head in shame*

  127. MaryAnnTheRest
    March 26th, 2010 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @kanomi (#6):

    I just can’t express how happy I am to see this as a continuing feature. Nature Punchman GO!!

  128. kanomi
    March 26th, 2010 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    Sorry, I was a “Baka Family in Round Picture” character.

    *also drops head in shame*

  129. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    March 26th, 2010 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#125): me three *drops head in double shame*

  130. kanomi
    March 26th, 2010 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @MaryAnnTheRest (#127): Want to beta test? :)

  131. odinthor
    March 26th, 2010 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    Q: Why does the Comics Curmudgeon love Barflow, Hekkie, and Loopina?

    A: Because, when it comes to donating at a CC Fundraiser, They’ll Do It Every Time!

    OK, now it’s off with me to PayPal land. Fellow slowpokes, see you there . . .

  132. Shannon's Puppet
    March 26th, 2010 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @kanomi (#130):

    Well done! I needed a good laugh today!

  133. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    March 26th, 2010 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @kanomi (#130): Oh my goodness. I bow to your brilliance. (And really, this takes me back to my years in Japan; you totally nail it.)

  134. Little Guy
    March 26th, 2010 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#89):

    Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 26th, 2010 at 1:29 pm [Reply]
    @ Little Guy (#16):

    9CL: What’s “Hi, Dum Dum Boo Boo Head” in German?
    Dunno, but you just made my day.

    Credit where credit is due. Check out this week’s “Cul de Sac” in the WaPo. Mashups are encouraged.

  135. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 26th, 2010 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    @kanomi (#130): drat. I haven’t been able to get on a blogspot all day. (any blogspot.)

  136. kanomi
    March 26th, 2010 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

  137. Calico
    March 26th, 2010 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    @kanomi (#130):
    Oh wow! Saggy belly removed to Canada impressed!

    Seriously, nice work.

  138. Bitter Scribe
    March 26th, 2010 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    Seriously, aren’t we approaching some kind of limit on what qualifies as “wordplay”?

    No. No, we aren’t.

  139. kanomi
    March 26th, 2010 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#137): You all are smart people. My plan is to make one set of “translations” for each of the comics in the “About Our Comics” section. Then be done with the gag.

    Flaws in this plan?

  140. Bootsy
    March 26th, 2010 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    Hey, Uncle Lumpy! Thanks for the fun week, and for watching us while the Pope’s away. As always, a masterful job.

  141. Marthas Rolling Pin
    March 26th, 2010 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    @odinthor (#131): And I now retroactively deem my contribution to have been in loving memory of the late Mr. Scaduto. Thanks for remembering.

  142. Walker of Dog
    March 26th, 2010 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    My contribution has been earmarked as penance for setting off last night’s duck-penis thread.

  143. Missing Dortmunder
    March 26th, 2010 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    Oh, no, is this the end of Uncle Lumpy’s guest appearance? That’s a shame.

    I love that Uncle Lumpy comments on comics that Josh doesn’t seem to notice. For instance, I’ve been waiting for 9 Chickweed Lane to get its comeuppance for quite a while. (Insufferable strip, and why did Edie wear a squid on her head when she was young?)

    On the downside, Uncle Lumpy has lured me into reading comics that I never glanced at before. Every time I read Edge City, I remember the number of times he despaired: “What is it with these people?” But I’m hooked now, sadly.

    Anyway, sayonara, Lumpy-sensei. I’m grateful that you’re willing to step in when Josh is away.

  144. Red Greenback
    March 26th, 2010 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    Awesome job on the banners too, Lumpy! Heh, heh… Grampy.

  145. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    March 26th, 2010 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    Oh, Banner Week is over? And so are the Uncle Lumpy comments? sniff…. I’m off to drown my sorrows with, what else, a nice bourbon….

  146. zerowolf
    March 26th, 2010 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    MW: Hyacinth Mary is going to think people don’t want to come to her impromptu candlelight supper dinner party.

  147. Calico
    March 26th, 2010 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    @zerowolf (#146):
    Wheee-Keeping up Appearances reference!

    And thank you, Uncle Lumpy, for a lovely week of snark and fun. I loved the banners too!

  148. Uncle Lumpy
    March 26th, 2010 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    Thanks for the kind words, but I’m up for at least one more day.

  149. Uncle Lumpy
    March 26th, 2010 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    Also: Grampy!

  150. Sans Sense
    March 26th, 2010 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    @kanomi (#139): Kanomi that is terrific! Have at them all.

  151. Little Guy
    March 26th, 2010 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#113): Dum Dum Booboo-Kopf (DDB-K) should be the new name dor Granny Edda Burbur.

  152. ElkMeadow
    March 26th, 2010 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    Thank you, Uncle Lumpy, for a fun week! Loved the banners–I forgot that Li’l O. Annie was still around.

  153. Calico
    March 26th, 2010 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#149):
    Thank you for the reminder to order my heirloom tomato seeds! I’m a bit late.

  154. Poteet
    March 26th, 2010 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#125): Sorry, Uncle Lumpy. I hereby join the head-hangers, and will try to sin no more.

  155. Poteet
    March 26th, 2010 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    9CL — And on and on the story goes and goes. It’s a wonder the nurses ever have a chance to slip Gran her meds.

  156. KarMann
    March 26th, 2010 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#155): You really think Granny’s still getting her meds? If not, could explain a lot about how much sense this story is making.

  157. Poteet
    March 26th, 2010 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    @kanomi (#130): Wow. I’ve only spent a few weeks in Japan, but that’s enough to be able to recognize the wonderful. You rock.

  158. Écureuil Écumant
    March 26th, 2010 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#125):

    Yeah, well, laid off x 8 months, but still impelled to make a communal contribution.

  159. wossname
    March 26th, 2010 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    A3G – I am sooo enjoying this! But please help me out, somebody who’s been reading this strip for longer than I have: When Dr. Chemo says “Magee,” is Ari going to immediately realize the significance? How is he connected to the A3G girls? He lives in the same apartment building, right? So does he know all of Margo’s history?

    Muffaroo #47 – I assumed “pop up” was a pun about as clever as most of the musical puns in this episode. Because if it’s not, it means Phil Harmonic and that Ringtone who looks slightly Springsteenish will be reappearing. And I don’t want to think that’s going to happen.

    Kanomi #130 – OMG! Genius!

    Écureuil Écumant #158 – More genius!

    I had an opportunity to call somebody a Boo Boo Dum Dum Head today, but at the critical moment, I couldn’t remember if the correct phrase was that, or Doo Doo Bum Bum Head.

  160. zerowolf
    March 26th, 2010 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#155): If it goes on much longer I’m going to wish they slip me some meds.

  161. zerowolf
    March 26th, 2010 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    Edge City: And a thermos full of Manischewitz to wash it down.

  162. zerowolf
    March 26th, 2010 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    BG&SS: Is that rin Union dollars or Confederate dollars? And all this time I thought Hootin Holler was still a barter economy.

  163. Mardou Fox
    March 26th, 2010 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    @kanomi (#130): Oh my goodness…. hats off to you, that is so very funny! Thank you! You crazy remarkings perk up boring Friday night of badly-paid American worker!

  164. zerowolf
    March 26th, 2010 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    MT: Gapped front teeth, slightly major troglodyte facial features. My GOD! It’s Rusty’s father!

  165. Jamus The Bartender
    March 26th, 2010 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    reFOOB: Why do I think Lynn Johnston is playing with us now? I mean, John’s “going roadside ” with the carwash vacuum cleaner, when all it would take is to talk to the manager, or whoever is in charge of these things……

  166. Muffaroo
    March 26th, 2010 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    @kanomi (#130): A tip of the hat to you and your bid for international understanding. Better than Babelfish! Worthy of mention in a metapost.

    Uncle Lumpy – Is it true? Has time flown by just like that? Well, heck, there’s still so much to do. Josh’s goldfish are still alive… the rug is unstained… the liquor cabinet still half full… won’t somebody think of the children??

  167. Poteet
    March 26th, 2010 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    @kanomi (#130): If you ever feel inspired to add 9CL to the lineup, I’d love to see it.

  168. Rusty
    March 26th, 2010 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    @yellojkt (#14): Holy crap. John Hodgeman is the balls.

  169. Jason1981
    March 26th, 2010 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#165):

    I doubt Lynn is playing with us. That’d require her to not be a man-hating (or maybe it’s “everyone-but-me”-hating) idiot. It’s just another “I hate Rod, er I mean, John is stooopid!” strip

  170. Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner
    March 26th, 2010 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

    “Hectic academic schedule”?

    You’re doing it wrong Ian.

    You’re doing it wrong.

  171. Rusty
    March 26th, 2010 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

    Wiz of Id: The King punches a time clock?

  172. KarMann
    March 26th, 2010 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

    Oh, I almost forgot to point out today’s oft-overlooked (Mr.) Boffo, especially for the teachers today, and see how they feel about it.

  173. Hi There
    March 27th, 2010 at 12:03 am [Reply]

    FW: Dark is the grave in which Bull’s dreams rest.

    Wearily, Bull thinks back to the old days, the good days, when he used to give dorky Les Moore such a wedgie the skinny jerk’s ass would bleed profusely. He remembers Wally, the punk kid who drank too much and turned a shy girl with skin problems into Lefty, the bitter band leader. Perhaps if he had kicked Wally Winkerbean’s ass a few more times things would’ve turned out better for all concerned. No one liked Wally.

    Shaking his head, Bull wonders what the hell he ever saw in Funky. Funky Winkerbean, the guy was supposed to be a star, a genius. Now look at him – just another fat asshole. The type of guy who thinks he’s better than everyone simply because he owns a failing business.

    “I’ve got mine,” Funky liked to crow. “You got yours?” What a joke. Yet the lives of everyone he knew seemed to revolve around the jerk.

    Bull blinks back the tears. He never did understand girls’ basketball, or basketball in general for that matter. Pick-‘n-roll – might as well be pick-‘n-nose as far as Bull’s concerned. Yet here he was at state…

    Maybe he could work an angle. Maybe things could still work out for him.

    “Okay, ladies,” Bull grunted. “Let’s get to work.”

    Secretly, all Bull wants to do is run back to his motel room and drink a six-pack of Busch while watching ‘Scrubs.’

  174. This Guy
    March 27th, 2010 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    @Rusty (#168): Well said. Uh, assuming that’s a compliment, anyway. For some reason, I love the fact that he spelled out “dollar sign” in a tweet.

  175. Mibbitmaker
    March 27th, 2010 at 12:15 am [Reply]


    I mean… MAN!!!!

  176. 8th Man Fan
    March 27th, 2010 at 12:18 am [Reply]

    Just spitballing:

    1) A3G: Way back, Ari found Bobbie Merrill (aka McGee?) “intriguing”, but wasn’t sure why. Ari’s socialized with Margo for years. Bobbie is, let’s say, somewhat stormy. Margo, ditto. Could Bobbie be a substitute for the real object of his desire?

    2) DT: How long until the Maestro starts the tribute tour with the rock band?

    3) MT: The way Joe and Moe’s appearances keep changing, how long has it been since Elrod actually drew a strip instead of copying and pasting together panels from old ones?

  177. Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
    March 27th, 2010 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    So, I just have to share tonight. For those who think I’m somehow being overly dramatic about my life at work, I was admonished by my boss today. I’ll spare you all of the other details because that would tell everyone where I work and I don’t want more trouble. Standing in the hallway, i said, “The movie The Accused, in which Jodie Foster’s character was raped.” My boss threw his hands in the air and said I couldn’t talk that way at our company. I looked at him and said, “Which was it? The Accused, Jodie Foster, or raped?” He again threw his hands in the air and said, “Don’t say that word! You don’t know who’s walking in the hallway.”

    I’d love to say that this is one of my stories but it isn’t. It really is that Alice in Wonderland where I work.

  178. Uncle Lumpy
    March 27th, 2010 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    For the love of God, don’t mention Nell.

  179. 8th Man Fan
    March 27th, 2010 at 12:47 am [Reply]

    By the way, while researching the A3G comment, ran across this, this, and this. If the revelation is as expected, can’t say it wasn’t foreshadowed.

  180. ElkMeadow
    March 27th, 2010 at 1:02 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#125):

    A troll? I thought he was my brother-in-law. *rim-shot* So sorry, Uncle Lumpy.

    Wonder how many Saturday Doonesbury strips are going to be posted in various Starbucks. Well, SOMEBODY had to point out the simple fact of how uncomfortable the other customers feel with all of those *looks up the strip again* “a bunch of yahoos…with their big, ridiculas phallic toys.”

    And since Adam@home is almost always at Starbucks, will he be running into the swaggering, intimidating yahoos too?

    And at Stone Soup, Val decides to become another Toni and TALK herself into loving the guy she’s with. Only unlike Lisa, Phil has the decency to stay dead, and unlike Dirk, he ain’t comin’ back, and unlike Nancy, Gram likes him. But maybe, unlike Brad, Phil knows that if Val has to convince herself to be in love, he knows it isn’t love.

  181. Poteet
    March 27th, 2010 at 1:04 am [Reply]


    MT — Aw, c’mon, color monkeys, quit taking it out on the giant waterfowl. MT is not their fault.

    MW — This dinner would sound ominous if we hadn’t just escaped from giant closeups of Wilbur. Bring on the new meddle-victims!

    RMMD — Great idea, Rex. What could possibly go wrong?

    S-M — Exposition this amazingly stilted is an accomplishment, really.

  182. ElkMeadow
    March 27th, 2010 at 1:05 am [Reply]

    Is it possible that Bonnie’s hubby might be lactose intolerant? Or that she might have a sea food or fish allergy. Can you imagine how much fun they’d have at a pool party, turning down all those cream cheese hors devours. and salmon squares? Meddle ahoy!

    And Rex doesn’t know about contractors laws. Toots gets injured working on that deck, and there goes the insurance!

  183. Peripheral Visionary
    March 27th, 2010 at 1:23 am [Reply]

    A3G: Tease.

    Crankshaft: In all seriousness, I am confident there are plenty of older couples who stay together for the sake of their extended family, especially their grandchildren. Of course, in the Crankshaft/Winkerbean world of selfish smugness, any truly altruistic behavior is seen as an aberration that can only be the source of lame jokes.

    Dick Tracy: What, is the watch phone out of order?

    Funkey Winkerbean: Worst. Coach. Ever.

    Gil Thorpe: OK, I take that ^ back.

    Judge Parker: Sam still has gravity alignment issues, and the art is still just a bit on the small side for a comic strip, but I have to say, the artwork in the second frame is very good.

    Mark Trail: “Right here in my camera, where I have kept the pictures safe, by not hitting my camera against any . . . umm . . . D’OH!”

    Pluggers: A plugger doesn’t need medications when he’s got his traditional home reme . . . oh, what am I saying, of course he’s going to hit the meds, even if it’s just a mild cold, he’s a plugger. Why even bother with the soup?

    Rex Morgan, M.D. Debt slavery? Human bondage? Forced labor? June is intrigued. I mean, why didn’t she think of this before?

  184. KarMann
    March 27th, 2010 at 1:24 am [Reply]

    3/27 JP: Well, commodorejohn totally called it. Props!

  185. Mibbitmaker
    March 27th, 2010 at 1:35 am [Reply]

    3/27 H&J: “Snow has friz me”? Gee, I hope you’re freleng better soon.

  186. bats :[
    March 27th, 2010 at 1:48 am [Reply]

    JP: Face it, gang. We’re never going to see Neddy (unless she’s sporting a five o’clock shadow).

    RMMD: good lord! What does **Painting** the garage entail?!

  187. KarMann
    March 27th, 2010 at 1:49 am [Reply]

    A3G: His “professional discretion”? Does Ari keep that in his other pants with his “professional ethics”?

    DT: No, Dick, the line is, “Surely you can’t be serious!” Take two!

    ReFOOB: Passive-aggressive much, Elly?

    GT: Janitorial Punchman GO!

    RMMD: Of course, that garage will have to be cleaned before painting it, won’t it?

    S4th: But then, the Forths don’t live in a just universe, do they?

    S-M: Tony doesn’t really know Spider-Man very well, does he?

  188. AirForbes
    March 27th, 2010 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    Ian? I thought that was Toby’s portrait of Aldo.

  189. Tubbytoast
    March 28th, 2010 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    Ms. Doc – you don’t have to donate, but snarking the CC business model? I enjoy and appreciate this blog so much. I’m happy to donate what I can, and however else he wants to do to pay expenses (and hopefully have something left over) is fine by me.

Comments are closed for this post.