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Midweek potpourri

Dennis the Menace, 6/7/06

Yeah, your grandpa pretty much sounds like a loser, kid. I’m all for good sportsmanship and everything, but if you go around telling your friends stuff like this, I think you are pretty much permanently banned from referring to yourself as a “menace”.

9 Chickweed Lane and Pluggers, 6/7/06

If you had asked me this morning which two features would be using the same joke today, this is not a pairing I would have come up with.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/7/06

Rex looks increasingly agitated as this strip progresses. “God damn them and their medical mumbo-jumbo! Impersonating a doctor is turning out to be a lot harder than I thought. OK, what am I going to do if one of them asks me a question? There’s got to be a way to change the subject of this conversation to ice cream.”

Gil Thorp, 6/7/06

What’s wrong with him? How much time do you have, exactly, Coach?

96 responses to “Midweek potpourri”

  1. Tom
    June 7th, 2006 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    I have to admit I’ve always been baffled as to why so many people seem to get massively pissed off over being wished a nice day. . . . .

  2. Jake
    June 7th, 2006 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    Dennis’ inspirational quotation may be lame, but Joey’s shirt blows my mind. Is it an eye? A target? A vagina? Wild, man, wild.

  3. Analyzer
    June 7th, 2006 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: All our medical commentary is in exclamatory form! We state the painfully trite with vim and gusto!

    Gil Thorp: Doesn’t a character named “Hardman” belong in Rex Morgan?

  4. Weasel Boy
    June 7th, 2006 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    Dennis may be talking in inspirational platitudes, but the expression on his face tells me he thinks Grampa is full of crap.

  5. Bigfoot
    June 7th, 2006 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    Joey’s shirt looks to me like a tribute to the front cover of Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason. (If you get that, then we’re in the same nerd club. If not, just trust me…)

  6. Mic
    June 7th, 2006 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan just flipped the water-bottle/nose panel from a couple of days ago! I’m on to you!

  7. Ferd Berfel
    June 7th, 2006 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    You know, the “Etch-A-Sketch” art, surreal storylines, and continuity lapses decoyed me for years, but a realisation has crept up on me lately. Has anyone else ever scratched their heads over the names in (DT)GT?

    Chris Hardman, Donnell Wedding, Brent Raptor, Marty Moon, that girl named Kenya, the list goes on and on. They’re all so very odd. I think its more proof that the strip if not of this Earth.

  8. Uncle Lumpy
    June 7th, 2006 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    Bigfoot -

    That’s a pretty old edition you’re using there, but yeah, same nerd club.

    Jake -

    I think it’s successive failed attempts to draw the numeral “0″. And he does this for a living!

  9. Mooncity
    June 7th, 2006 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    Poor Brent Raptor. It must be tough to be singled out for even more criticism and insults… especially when the guy doing it looks just like President Eisenhower.

  10. TDB
    June 7th, 2006 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    Regarding what’s on Joey’s shirt…I’m sure it’s a crude bullseye the kid has drawn, in the desperate hope that someone will shoot him before he has to spend another 50 years with that idiot Dennis.

  11. Mike P
    June 7th, 2006 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    Joey looks really, really confused.

    Also, I kind of chuckled at “9 Chickweed Lane”. Does that make me a bad and/or stupid person?

  12. Marc
    June 7th, 2006 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    Analyzer: COTW.

    I was thinking that too, as I read it.

    Who knew that Gil Thorp took place in Canada? Not me!

  13. dlauthor
    June 7th, 2006 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    11: Joey’s not confused; those two needles he’s got jammed up his nose have penetrated his frontal lobe.

  14. Jennifer
    June 7th, 2006 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    #1 — Yes, I agree. How DARE someone convey a pleasant, very likely thoughtless, but completely harmless platitude to me in some observation of mannered interaction! The NERVE! I believe I shall now ruin the day of said underpaid clerk in order to make myself feel empowered.

    This also bothers me when you tell someone “I’m sorry,” when they’ve shared a bad thing that’s happened to them, and they look at you like you’re an idiot and say, “Why? You didn’t do anything?!” You’re right. I didn’t. And now I wish I’d have just said, “Sucks to be you” instead.

    … okay, those comics touched a nerve.

  15. Jay Nickola
    June 7th, 2006 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    Damn, Joey, lay off the nose candy.

  16. dan b
    June 7th, 2006 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    you know Josh, i would’ve though for sure you would’ve caught today’s conversation with Tommie and Lu Ann. if nothing else, i think “Finger Quotin’ Margo” would not have approved of LuAnn’s assessment of Alan’s friend’s as “rude” and “obnoxious”.

    on the other hand, maybe she’s too easy of a target. regardless, i’m ashamed.

  17. mfdshan
    June 7th, 2006 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    Allergy, huh?
    Well Abbey, I guess we’ll have to put you down.

    Bark, Bark, Bark!
    Translation: No, No, No! You moron – It’s all that frickin’ ice cream you’ve been force-feeding the kid.

  18. Howard Erk
    June 7th, 2006 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    Inre Comment #1: It is a control issue, I will decide what kind of day I am going to have, not the snot-nosed punk at McDonald’s.

    Now get outta my face.

  19. Mibbitmaker
    June 8th, 2006 at 12:59 am [Reply]

    6/8:

    Baby Blues: Throwing tantrums is FUN? No doubt a kid didn’t write this. I’ve had my spoiled brat moments in my day, and tantrums aren’t fun for the thrower, either.

    Garfield: This one would be wonderfully surreal with the cat’s thought balloons whited out.

    Foxtrot: Psychedelic Peter Fox.

    Curtis: He’s in the Junior O.J. Club.

    A3G: Looks like Tommie is having second thoughts about this lesbian thing with Lu Ann.

    FC: Poor Billy. He has no friends, so he’s forced to have his back yard as his playmate. Sadder still, he decides to play indoors so as not to get the back yard jealous of the front yard. (Sob!)

    Spiderman: Why is his spider sense tingling? Well, given how the whole “shock for Peter” thing turned out, probably no good reason at all.

  20. Wimpy III
    June 8th, 2006 at 2:13 am [Reply]

    Freaky dog faced pluggers. Have a crappy day, plugger.

  21. anonymous
    June 8th, 2006 at 6:29 am [Reply]

    I always get wished a nice day, or evening, sometimes even a whole nice weekend. Usually I’m still waiting at the end of the day for some type of niceness to kick in, but I appreciate the thought!

  22. GotFuzzy
    June 8th, 2006 at 6:55 am [Reply]

    The design on Joey’s shirt is bad enough, but I am creeped out by the fact that it’s a belly shirt.

  23. Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
    June 8th, 2006 at 7:21 am [Reply]

    Get off Joey’s case. He’s got Spiralkneecapciosis. If he want’s to wear a ladies aerobics workout shirt and tilt his trucker cap to the side gangatsa style, let him!

  24. RiotNrrd
    June 8th, 2006 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: The more I think about it, isn’t the button the Plugger wearing an instruction? Independent thinkers, just like everyone else…

  25. Lyman Returns
    June 8th, 2006 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    Why does the non-speaking and mortified-looking friend in 9 Chickweed Lane have an evening dress on? Did she stop by the mall on her way to the symphony?

  26. meagan
    June 8th, 2006 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley: What is that baby thing??

  27. Bigfoot
    June 8th, 2006 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    The more I look at Joey the weirder it gets… Of course, as has been mentioned, there’s the belly shirt & the spiralkneecapciosis. But there’s also the fact that the weird shirt design is also on their hats (just turned 90 degrees). And don’t look too closely at the bills of their hats or you’ll think you took a strikingly high dose of hallucinogens.

    But the weirdest of all is that Dennis hasn’t told him that he has the world’s longest snot-drip hanging off the end of his nose.

    A3G: Sounds like Tommie isn’t quite ready to come out of the closet. Poor gal, she’ll get her moxie up someday.

  28. Bigfoot
    June 8th, 2006 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    I can’t believe I forgot to mention this earlier. We’re finally FINALLY gonna see some fallout from the murdered blackmailer in RMMD. It’s taken so long I almost forget that it should have been a big deal. But I guess exposing Rex’s lack of medical knowledge & poor parenting was as good of a distraction as I could have hoped for.

  29. dlauthor
    June 8th, 2006 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    Curtis: I think we’re about three strips away from Curtis coming to Michelle’s door with three rolls of duct tape and a ball gag. Stalking is wacky fun!

    Spidey: Oh, jeez, Peter, let me think. Why _would_ your Spider-sense be tingling? I’m sure it’s just because (*sniff*) your wife’s getting more attention than you at the moment. Also, she appears to have thunder-thighs in the first panel. Surprising, in Hollywood.

    I would like to note that “Of course, it’s your stunt double who’ll actually be hurled” is the best line of dialogue in the comics all week. Dunno why Film Director Jerry Garcia needs two word balloons in that panel, but fine.

    Rose is Rose: Can I just say the kid in this strip is horrendous? And not just because he can conjure beach balls and candy canes out of thin air — no, it’s more than that. Look at the strip! HE’S KILLING HIS FATHER! Before long, his nanny’ll be hanging herself at his birthday party*.

    Pluggers: Another reason to hate them. Whee!

    Zits: “Hello, thoughts” gave me a chuckle, from a strip that rarely does.

    Mallard: We’re not in denial, jackass. We admit it happened. We admit it’s a problem. We don’t want to dissolve the whole U.N. because of it, though — just like we don’t want to get rid of the U.S. Marines because a few of them appear to have slaughtered women and kids in Iraq.

    Foob: God, Elly must be the most dully practical character ever to appear on the comics page. I can’t _imagine_ why everyone thinks she’s old. And yes, it’s good sense to deal with the details of your burial/cremation/taxidermy when you get older — BUT THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT GOOD STORYTELLING. John, let her buy the burial plots. Go on vacation alone. Maybe you’ll meet some nice young men who’ll ride in your car with you.

    F Minus: Can’t help but notice that the math is wrong here. Not sure if that’s intentional or not. And there’s a couple neurons I won’t be getting back.

    Prickly: Stantis’s change of heart continues. It’s messing up my world view. Maybe Zarqawi getting turned into chowder today will nudge him back toward his more comfortable jingoism.

    Red and Rover: Red’s face in panel three can be attributed, I think, to the fact that he appears to be standing right next to the truck’s exhaust pipe. Fortunately, when he keels over tomorrow, New “Popsicle” Pete (paging Finger-Quotin’ Margo!) has a handy freezer to stash the body in.

    *: 1976 version, of course.

  30. bubujin
    June 8th, 2006 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    And today’s 8 June Pluggers strip is paired with another unlikely strip sharing the same/similar joke: The Dinette Set.

    Thought you should know.

  31. bob dobbs
    June 8th, 2006 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    Pluggers are independent?? Doesn’t this strip center around a proletarian demographic that is told what to do all day long by the boss, followed by an evening of TV culture telling it what to think, do and buy the rest of the time? (It’s not elitism if its true)

  32. Anne Nonymous
    June 8th, 2006 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    30% of Puggers are proud to have voted for George Bush twice, and would do so again if they could. The other 70% couldn’t be bothered to get up off of their couches and go vote, but they totally believe everything that Bush tells them, and think he’s doing a heckuva job. So much for independence.

  33. lilybdcsa
    June 8th, 2006 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    Is the point of today’s TDIET that it’s bad to help someone else study for a test? Or maybe tutoring makes one stupid? Or maybe the person that was tutored was an alien brainsucker who stole that guy’s brain cells while he was trying to explain pi.

  34. Woodrowfan
    June 8th, 2006 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    “have a nice day” is just a gateway drug to the horror that is “Happy Holidays” Bastards.

  35. JonO
    June 8th, 2006 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    So, wait, whatever a person tells you, even perfect strangers, you are therefore destined to do? Pleasantries are now direct commands? Good luck. Don’t tell me what kind of luck to have. #18, it is not a decision made for you, the person is expressing a wish on your behalf. “I wish you a good day” or “I encourage you to have a nice day,” may be more precise, but they just sound dumb. Saying have a nice day may seem like an inappropriate imperative from the point of view of a–well, a crazy person–but it’s not, it’s a kindly gesture. Jesus.

  36. moose
    June 8th, 2006 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    It sucks when a former bad ass like Dennis becomes a bigger wimp than Charlie Brown. Ah, Charlie now there was a competitor– incompetent, yes, but he still had the heart of a champion.
    The grandfather in DtheM should drop dead right around the time the grandfather in FBoFW takes his eternal dirt nap. In fact all grandfathers in all comic strips should just drop dead. Well, not the one in Boondocks, he kicks ass, he should be Dennis’s grandfather, toughen the kid up you know.

  37. MaryAnnTheRest
    June 8th, 2006 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp needs to realize that the Rap Dog is never going to make it to the minors unless he lays off the Doritos-and-mayonnaise sandwiches.

  38. Maughta
    June 8th, 2006 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    #31: Hail Bob, fellow subgenius.

  39. zillahgirl
    June 8th, 2006 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    #25: That’s the complainer’s daughter, and she’s often dressed like that. It’s cause she’s a ballerina, and that’s what they do, apparently.

  40. Adfella
    June 8th, 2006 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    TODAY’S FAMILY CIRCUS

    I thought I had seen just about the worst-ever Family Circus a couple of weeks ago, when one of the pig-faced little brats (perhaps Billy?) pointed to a large rock and said, “If that rock weren’t so heavy, I could lift it.”

    Sadly, the bar was set a little lower still with today’s daily dose of madcap hilarity.

    Would it kill the Keanes to at least make a TOKEN effort to include a joke in their strip, rather than another pathetic “Aww, isn’t he/she cute?” panel?

    And to think they actually get PAID to generate such crap.

  41. Frankie
    June 8th, 2006 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    Re Chickweed Lane…
    That poor clerk probably has a PhD (judging by her glasses), and would kill for the University job Miss Crabbypants so thoughtlessly discarded. And now that poor clerk has to get paid minimum wage to be forced to tell customers “Have A Nice Day,” even though her own life may be falling apart, and some witch has to assert her independence by beating up on her?
    The terrorists have already won.

  42. Dark Star
    June 8th, 2006 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    This is OT but something is really bugging me about the current Mark Trail story arc.

    How can “Grampa” be walking around free when he confessed in court to terriorist activity? Old gramps is the head of a cell that blew up a highway!!! Isn’t the maximum penalty for this death? Why isn’t he in jail tossing some other criminal’s salad?

    I guess if you blow up a public highway for profit, you get a pass in Mark Trail’s universe.

  43. mentarman
    June 8th, 2006 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Haven’t you guys been reading. He said he was sorry. Sheesh, cut a guy a break.

  44. Fence Post Frank
    June 8th, 2006 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    Poor Joey, still can’t wipe his nose.

    “allergy of some kind!” Where’s Abbey the Dander Dog?

  45. BassoGap
    June 8th, 2006 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Mentarman (#43) – Like Dick Cheney said he was sorry, after he shot his hunting partner in the face. What’s that? He didn’t say he was sorry? the WH blamed the victim for getting in the way? Oh…nevermind.

    (DT)GT – Called it…except Rapdog didn’t get advice on playing, other than that he needs to get off his fat ass and start his college applications, asap. Baseball season, and he’s a senior? Probably too late, other than to community colleges. Hmm…maybe a school in Phoenix?

    9CL – Thorax is my hero. Said it two weeks ago, but it’s still true.

    GF – Poor Satchel…he’s so trusting, and now it’s going to cost him his savings. It’ll be interesting to see what Bucky finds in the piggy bank, though…not necessarily what he’s expecting, I bet.

    SF – Geez, Ted…think of the example you’re giving those impressionable young women. They’re going to hit HS, turn 16, get asked on a date for the first time, and before they even leave the front porch, they’ll start removing their clothes, saying, “We all know how this is gonna end.”

    PBS – Not likely this crew is going to be doing much berzerking on their next Viking raid.

    Luann – Ooh…that was just mean, what you did to Tiffany/Sheraton. Love it, after all the selfish crap she’s pulled over the years.

    Monty – I hate the texture/flavor of tongue depressors. If I ever have one stuck in my mouth again (it’s been years since I’ve seen one used), I’m going to ask for the cherry flavored one.

  46. Seaweed
    June 8th, 2006 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    Man, Pluggers are mean people.

  47. Carlye
    June 8th, 2006 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    The “have a nice day” phrase has evolved into something completely meaningless, and sometimes cruel. Let’s say you’re in the midst of some major crisis in your life, such as a family member who is dying. How are you going to have a “nice” day? It would be “nice” if you didn’t break down completely. People who bestow this trite phrase often act like they’re doing you a favor, like giving you a blessing. It’s just like the hackneyed “How are you?”. Try telling them the truth some time and they just might stop asking.

  48. Proteus
    June 8th, 2006 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    I say Dennis is still the menace! His gramp gave him the old inspirational do-you-best-and-you’re -the-winner crap. That went through DTM’s evil filter and came out meaning that if you do your best you will be declared the winner – doesn’t matter what the score is! Like, it’s an easy way to beat the system and who knew! That’s why the heavy bold text on the “YOU WIN!”

    Or am I just giving the writers a break because I’ve loved this strip for years? Oh wait – I’ve hated this strip for years. Forgot. Though thanks to Josh I am starting to appreciate the crypto-cubism of the artwork. Check out the space meant to be occupied by Denn’s shoe. WTF is right.

  49. King Folderol
    June 8th, 2006 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    I got confused by the last panel of Gil Thorp. It looks like they are both having a conversation with someone you can’t see.

    Lockhorns – And here is yet another nominee for one of the all time dumbest strips I’ve ever seen. “Computers will never replace newspapers. You can’t swat a fly with a computer.”

    Well why not, Leroy? You can swat a fly with a computer, but you probably shouldn’t. A three-year old probably could have told you that. And that’s the problem with today’s Lockhorns. Either Leroy is dumber than a three-year old and is really saddened by this “revelation” or Leroy is just trying to get Loretta’s goat, but she already knows that she’s married to an ass hat.

    I’m coming to the conclusion that these two are really in a mental institution, which would explain the spartan backgrounds and the dull look on the faces of others that the Lockhorns interact with. True, it doesn’t explain times that they seem to be out in public, but please remember that this is a working theory and is by no means proven yet.

  50. BassoGap
    June 8th, 2006 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    You know what Joey’s problem is? Aside from the spiralkneecapciosis and the Edvard Munch’s Scream-inspired logo on his shirt and hat? other than the lovely mauve of his shirt? other than the mechanical-pencil-lead stuck up his nose? other than that he has no visible neck?

    Wow…poor kid. His only reason for living is hanging aorund Dennis’ house, hoping to catch Alice stepping out of the shower someday. What was I saying?

    Oh, yeah…it appears he’s trying to play baseball with a cricket bat. And if that’s the case, he’ll never win, no matter how hard he tries. He will have to go home and change into his starched whites, though. Don’t forget the hip flask full of rum, Joey. You’ll need it when India kicks your ass in the next 5-day.

    Have a nice day, everyone!

  51. Gershwin
    June 8th, 2006 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    Carlye,

    Yes, well, “Have a blessed day” is even worse (esp. when one is an atheist), and I’m hearing it more all the time…

    ‘Hope this post will work. Frequently I get a “Page not found” message when I at long last say it.

  52. TEM
    June 8th, 2006 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Two seemingly disparate comics, yet both manage to be equally unfunny. Coincidence?

    I think Dennis is referring to that trend nowadays in kids sporting events to award prizes to everyone on both teams and declaring everyone a winner in order to keep from hurting some kid’s feelings when he doesn’t get a trophy. You see, it’s much more healthy to teach children nowadays that they are completely invincible and excel at everything instead of teaching them the concepts of competition and that, sometimes one can do one’s best and still come up short. For a grown-up example of this, watch any reality show with tryout sessions – paying close attention to the ones who really suck and throw a tantrum when their suckiness is pointed out.

  53. Analyzer
    June 8th, 2006 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    #47, if you’re on the verge of total breakdown, and someone wishing you a nice day is going to send you into a rage, then do the universe a favor and don’t leave the house. Also, I have yet to meet anyone who says “Have a nice day” and feels like they’ve just done an enormous work of charity. Join us back here on Earth.

  54. Concerned Citizen
    June 8th, 2006 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    I think Rex is uncomfortable with discussions of horrible, auto-immune disorders, especially around the missus. “Damn, why did we go barebacked, oh why, oh why?” The angst is killing him, but he’ll probably just go get some ice cream and walk right by the condom display.

  55. Shaenon
    June 8th, 2006 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    “9 Chickweed Lane” is like a competently-done version of “Luann,” and I’m not sure if that makes it better or worse.

    And of course Etta wears an evening gown to the mall. She’s a professor’s daughter who dances in the ballet, reads the Western Canon for fun, and is powerfully attracted to intellectual nerds who suspiciously resemble her cartoonist. She’s pure class, baby.

  56. dimestore lipstick
    June 8th, 2006 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    A “tip of the Hatlo hat” to James Lileks?
    He’s been putting up pages from the 1949 King Features Catalog, and this week he got to Jimmy Hatlo and TDIET.
    http://www.lileks.com/comics/kingfeatures/23.html

    Be sure to click on the bio link–it’s pretty interesting. I had no idea that “Little Iodine” was a spinoff of TDIET.

  57. Anon
    June 8th, 2006 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    Even worse than being begged to have a nice day is when the clerk gets your name off the credit card and says “have a great day, Mr. Smith” or much worse “Thanks for shopping here Anon.”

    Stuff it.

    Say thank you and move on. Don’t tell me how to live my life and I wont tell you how to live yours.

    Have a crappy day.

  58. dlauthor
    June 8th, 2006 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    53: Yes, people who are sad and depressed should just stay shut in their homes, where they won’t interfere with pollyannas telling each other how peachy life is. Won’t the world be just a ball of sunshine and kittens then?

    40: Perhaps Jeffy Keane’s going as senile as his old man. If so, I look forward to the strips a year or so from now, where the idiot stubby children all proclaim random brainfarts like “I am now using a door to go from one room to another!” and “Water would be dry if it weren’t so wet!” and “If you’re sad, stay inside so you don’t bother all the happy people!”

  59. Moss_Moses
    June 8th, 2006 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    “How can “Grampa” be walking around free when he confessed in court to terriorist activity? ”

    Sam Hill is an old friend of Doc’s. This close degree of separation from Mark Trail makes him intrinsically good, not evil (despite the demonic name) and therefore not deserving of punishment but rather worthy of redemption, despite having confessed to comitting a crime that would land him in the slammer for years in the real world outside LaLa Forest. How a road commission hearing turned into a full jury trial and how the court would assume a road was inherently dangerous because of an explosion (it must have self combusted, better build a new road) are other matters. The bottom line is that Mark Trail IS the criminal justice system in LoFo. The cops, courts and judges are window dressing and never have anything to do with the eventual outcome.

  60. Analyzer
    June 8th, 2006 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    #58, if you’re so unbalanced that “Have a nice day” is going to set you off or drive you to suicide, then interacting with society is not what you should be doing that day. Besides, “Have a nice day” is not a notification that everything is A-OK. It is an expression of hope or desire that everything will be A-OK.

    If I wish for something good for you, that is a good thing by any conceivable non-insane standard of human conduct. If you have some kind of perverse desire to have a bad day, which is the only possible explanation for cursing someone who wishes for you to have a good day, then you probably need your head examined. You obviously suffer from life-crippling masochism.

  61. Anon
    June 8th, 2006 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    If the people were in the least bit sincere with their damn have a nice days. If you got hit by a bus as you were walking out of their store, they would run out and wave to the news crews that showed up so they could say hi mom.

  62. James G
    June 8th, 2006 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    30 – I don’t think Pluggers and Dinette Set is all that strange a pairing. Pluggers likely live in Crustwood.

  63. Analyzer
    June 8th, 2006 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    #61: Well, at that point, you’ve disobeyed their instructions to have a nice day, so of course they’re going to gloat. :-D

  64. lilybdcsa
    June 8th, 2006 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    You know what’s worse than “Have a nice day”? — which I find totally harmless and rather comforting — it’s when they ask, “How are you doing today?” They don’t really want to know. If you answer with anything but, “Fine, thank you.” They look at you with a blank-eyed stare, wishing you would shut up and quit talking about the latest misery. Even the nurse in the doctor’s office asks, “How are you doing, today?” while they’re escorting you back to the examination room. It seems stupid to just say “Fine” while limping and obviously feeling like crap because otherwise why would I be wasting my time in the doctor office?

    Okay…I’m fine now. Really.

  65. yellojkt
    June 8th, 2006 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    When a phrase becomes a Bon Jovi album title, it’s time to retire it. That goes for “Slippery When Wet” also.

  66. Bigfoot
    June 8th, 2006 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    Gershwin (#51), I’m right with you about hating the trend toward “Have a blessed day.” Have a nice day…no prob. It’s just a way to end an interaction with a stranger.

    But let me stray along a little farther from the comics. I once worked on a hotline where we were always answering questions about court processes. Generally I’d say “Good luck” to folks before hanging up. One woman told me “I don’t need good luck, I need God’s blessings.” Uh….sorry lady you didn’t call your pastor, or even a religious organization. You got an atheist who can tell you all about real world solutions to your problem but isn’t about to bless you.

  67. bootsybooks
    June 8th, 2006 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    We’ve come up with a great way to break people of the “How are you today?” habit. We are working hard on the have a nice/blessed day (which I hate).

    No one here asks how we are anymore because the answer is an embarrassing burst into tears.

    How did we accomplish this? Did I mention I live in New Orleans?

  68. Howard Erk
    June 8th, 2006 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    One thing worse than a pimply-faced mouth breather wishing you a nice day is a waiter who comes over and bubbles “Hi, I am Bruce and I will be your waiter tonight!!!!!”

    Fine, I am Howard and I am going to be your cranky patron tonight. Make with the menu and fetch me a beer.

  69. Moss_Moses
    June 8th, 2006 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    They don’t really say “I’ll be your waiter”. It’s more like “I’m Joe, and I’ll be your server”. If they say waiter ask, “What are you waiting for?” If it’s server, you can ask if they are a file server, web server or database server or say “Hi, I’m Howard and I’ll be your client”. That’s how you establish a successful client/server connection. He may spit in your food but it does kind of lighten up that stressful “I’ll be your server” moment.

  70. zoza
    June 8th, 2006 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    I’ve recently discovered Pibgorn and become a huge fan. Does anybody know how could I see “the complete saga” (the whole archive) whithout being a Comic Extra special member? (Please don’t shoot, I’m a poor/broke student and the free membership doesn’t give you access to that feature!)

  71. MotoMike
    June 8th, 2006 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    … but, Howard … under what circumstances, other than you being at Hooter’s and your server having inexplicably decided that, you being her 1000th customer, she’s going to serve you topless, would you not be a “cranky patron”?

  72. dlauthor
    June 8th, 2006 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    67: See, the problem with you New Orleans people is, you need to stay indoors and not trouble the nice-dayers. If you don’t want to do this, you’re clearly mentally ill, and possibly a werewolf.

    Sorry, what’s that? You don’t _have_ an indoors any more, because you live in New Orleans? Well, then … um … I dunno. I’m stumped. Analyzer, what should people with no homes do so you’re not troubled by their unhappiness?

  73. GoBobbyGo
    June 8th, 2006 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    #29: What are you talking about, the math is wrong? 70 divided by six is 11 with a remainder of 4. That’s what they came up with. Even the work is right… 7 divided by 6 is 1, and you get a remainder of 1. Bring down the zero and 10 divided by six is one, and you get a remainder of four.

    What’s the problem here?

  74. Analyzer
    June 8th, 2006 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    #72, they should kill themselves to prove that they can succeed where an angry God failed.

  75. Anne Nonymous
    June 8th, 2006 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    It’s true that over-familiarity exhibited by the wait-staff is incredibly annoying (no, I don’t care what your name is, and, yes, I assume you’re the server, since you’re at my table, poised with an order pad in your hand). However, having worked in the kitchen in restaurants, I want to be the first to warn you not to get too snarky and tick the waiter off too much. You really don’t want to know what goes on “behind the scenes” and what types of revenge can be taken by an angry waiter (actually, it’s even worse to tick off the chef). If you can’t ignore it, finish your meal, pay the bill, ask to speak to the manager, and quietly tell him or her that this type of greeting by the waiters is very aggravating to you. If enough customers complain, the manager will have them change their tune.

  76. Moss_Moses
    June 8th, 2006 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    There was a $25 million bounty on Zarqawi’s head. Rhodia is a failed state and a safe haven for shirtless terr’ists like Chantu. What is the Bangallan govt offering for information leading to the arrest of Chantu?

  77. Library Cat
    June 8th, 2006 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    # 75 and all the rest.

    No doubt. All the waiters, servers, salespeople, etc. are generally coached to say these annoying phrases. The corporate bigwigs are the ones that come up with this crap to justify their nice days spent rolling around in hundred dollar bills. I was once forced by management to answer the phone, “Its a great day at blah-blah college!” At least it wasn’t a command; just a lie. Didn’t save me from the snark though and completely out of spitting range. But yeah, witty comebacks will probably get some indecent things done to your dinner, or coupons forgotten, items rang up at the wrong price…Howard, I’m afraid you will probably get your food spit on regardless. You seem to breed discontent. Not that I don’t love ya.

  78. Mysterio
    June 8th, 2006 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    Celebrity Deathmatch time:

    Mallard Fillmore
    vs.
    Sparky the Wonder Penguin from “This Modern World”

    place your bets!

  79. Frank Drackman
    June 8th, 2006 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    Ha Ha!! Joeys wearing a girls midriff exposing belly shirt.

  80. Len
    June 8th, 2006 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    I’ve taken my leave from conversations by saying, “Have a good one!” It’s up to the receiver to decide a “good” what.

  81. Len
    June 8th, 2006 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

    Several weeks ago, one of the Curmudgeons commented on how the handsome rugged close-up of Mark Trail evoked the feeling of movie star George Clooney. Some enterprising director will cast Mr. Clooney in a Hollywood version of Mark Trail. They will be able to save money on actors, as everyone will resemble everyone else. Villains will have facial hair. Women’s hair color will change from scene to scene. And there will be frequent scenes of wild animals in ginormous close-ups, with dialog seeming to come from the assorted fauna.

    Listen to the iguana. It’s saying, “Look for Mark Trail: The Movie!”

  82. DA
    June 8th, 2006 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    I don’t blame clerks for hating customers. First customers treat the employees like slaves. Then they’re gonna bitch and moan because SOMEONE WISHED THEM A PLEASANT DAY? If they don’t give you a pleasantry, they’re rude. if they do, they’re bossy. If they say happy holidays, it’s a war on christmas. If they say merry christmas, they’re infriging on your religious beliefs. wah wah wah. americans are crybabies and assholes. Most likely a clerk is getting paid barely enough to breathe and is telling you what he’s supposed to. Leave him alone!

  83. roydrink
    June 8th, 2006 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    I’ve got a “Don’t tell me what kind of a day to have” bumper sticker on the back of my ’80′s Volvo wagon.

    It’s right next to my “Yes, I’m a latte drinking, sushi eating, Volvo driving liberal” bumper sticker.

    Just below the oval, large W, small TF sticker on the back glass.

    I’m the guy Tinsley warns you about,Bhahahahahaha…

  84. Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
    June 8th, 2006 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    Wasn’t it yesterday that Mallard Fillmore dealt with an irate letter from a reader about Tuesday’s strip?

    These strips are submitted several weeks in advance, so I am puzzled about how this could be, unless Tinsley gets special dispensation, or unless …unless Tinsley’s a lying sackoshit!

  85. Jennifer
    June 8th, 2006 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    … You know what the problem with “have a nice day” is? It’s that some people take polite pleasantries WAY too personally.

    Y’know what, Pluggers? Other people’s manners are NOT ABOUT YOU! I know you guys are all dizzy with the world revolving around you like that, but it isn’t about you.

    Do you really want to have a heart-to-heart talk with some random clerk about your medical problems just so you aren’t being asked a so-called trite question, the answer of which the asker doesn’t really want to know? Do you? Don’t you have friends for that? Go find them. Go talk to them.

    And if someone says “have a nice day” to you, the polite response is, “thank you,” just as it is to any kindness — trite and thoughtless and not-about-you as it may be.

    Just. Say. Thank you. And grow the hell up.

  86. Marc
    June 8th, 2006 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    I like how Kelly and Lou (especially Kelly) ballooned just by closing the refridgerator door. Does she have bigger boob shadows than usual. YES. Why do they have a note pad and pencil next to their toaster? WHY? How is Lou pouring milk from the top of the carton where the exp. date is printed? HOW?

  87. lilybdcsa
    June 8th, 2006 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    Jennifer, I never tell clerks my medical problems — my eldery mother does that, so I’ve seen the results. I’m always polite to those hardworking people who spend a good deal of their day dealing with jackasses. That’s about as grown up as I figure I need to be. But it’s fun pointing out the absurdities of some of our social rituals.

  88. Jennifer
    June 8th, 2006 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    87 – Our social rituals can be very absurd, but we tend to deconstruct ad absurdium in this culture, and then we end up with today’s Pluggers. No one wants that.

    I once worked at a library, so I am… sensitive to the boundless tyranny of the served. A truly polite clerk takes in his/her stride those who answer sincerely the “how are you?” queries. There was one incident, however, where a coworker asked, “how are you doing today?” and got this response:

    “Oh, can’t complain. Cried myself to sleep last night.”

    There is no follow-up to that! (Except, “Oh, I’m sorry,” to which some Plugger will respond, “Why? You didn’t do anything.”) I — hidden from view but very nearby — nearly slit my wrists over that one.

    Polite clerks, current and ex, will forever appreciate and possibly worship those who are polite in return, for they are a rare and wonderful breed.

  89. BassoGap
    June 8th, 2006 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

    Amen, Jennifer. Well said.

    Now, back to the comics…well, as soon as chron.com and yahoo.com load tomorrow’s strips, that is….

  90. Mr. Wilson
    June 8th, 2006 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

    Guess what Joey, my grandpa said that no matter how you play, if the other team has more runs than you, YOU LOSE.

    Now get out of my kitchen you little bastards.

  91. mumbles
    June 9th, 2006 at 12:13 am [Reply]

    FOOB: John and Elly pick out cemetery plots. Wow, I haven’t had this much fun with a comic strip since that solider accidentally killed the dog in “Funky Winkerbean.”

    (DT)GT: Darn, it looks like Jolene/Millicent changed her shirt. That, or she ate it…..

  92. King Folderol
    June 9th, 2006 at 5:20 am [Reply]

    Something I forgot to mention in my comment above (#49) is that appears that Loretta is just pretending to type. No keyboard is visible. Either that or she has freakishly huge hands.

    The newest thing in server-land is “My name is [your name here] and I’ll be taking care of you.”

    No you won’t. You won’t be bringing me my medicine, taking my car for service, paying my bills, or wiping my ass. You’ll just be bringing me my food. So enough of that “I’ll be taking care of you crap.” I do understand, Anne Nonymous (#75) that this is usually some management inspired b.s.

    I agree with Library Cat (#77). My rule of thumb if always never to complain until every morsel of food and beverage has been delivered to my table.

  93. Len
    June 9th, 2006 at 6:52 am [Reply]

    Here’s the long delayed Wednesday installment of Pibgorn…

    http://www.comics.com/comics/pibgorn/archive/pibgorn-20060607.html

    A naked androgynous dark-haired figure, dripping pixie dust, in front of the words of Oberon’s spell. I thought Titania would have looked sexier, naked. It IS Titania, right? No one else has those red ears! (Too much red meat, Faerie Queen! Eat more veggies.)

    Friday’s installment shows Lysander and Hermia checking into a hotel, but Hermie will not share her bed with Lysander. Huge amounts of space are devoted to the Shakespearean dialog. This is the crux of my problem with this strip. I was taught as a writer to “show, don’t tell.” And comics are especially emphasizing the effects of “showing” action. But the Bard writes to tell; and sometimes the overly descriptive text is redundant.

    Psst! Hermia! There’s a green-clad Faerie reclining in your hotel window! I wouldn’t go to sleep, if I were you!

    Oh well, dear. Have a good evening…

  94. Dilbert’s bastard son
    June 11th, 2006 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    What? No criticism toward Family Circus? This is the lamest strip in the history of comics. It can’t be considered a comic, since there’s no humor. They should have a “stoic section” in the paper for this vanilla pudding strip.

    Typical Family circus line: “Barfy just earned his name, daddy. You should see what he just did to the rug!”

  95. dum deee dum
    August 1st, 2006 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    wow i love this, grandpas fantasy thing. hilllllllaaarrryuuuusssssssssssss

  96. you are a idiot
    April 1st, 2008 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    you all stink like crap

Comments are closed for this post.