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Hair of the dog

Dennis the Menace, 6/26/06

Here’s one for the Crappy Coloring Chronicles: does poor Ruff have mold growing in his fluffy white coat? One of the fraternities at my college had a St. Bernard that they used as a mascot but otherwise left to wander the campus unattended, and he often had something greenish and inappropriate growing in the folds of his fur, so it can happen, but Ruff is the cared for by an Eisenhower-era nuclear family unit, not twenty or so perpetually drunk and irresponsible 19-year-old layabouts. This actually reinforces my belief that the coloring of the daily comics is done in some steamy tropical locale where the wages are shockingly low and mildew grows in everything. Either that, or it’s done by robots who are wholly unfamiliar with carbon-based forms of life.

Mary Worth, 6/26/06

I know it’s really just the crappy quality of this graphic, but I’d like to believe that Mary’s eyes are rolling back in her head as she struggles to comprehend the fact that Dr. Jeff has finally managed to extract himself from her clutches. The bold-italics of that last phrase in Jeff’s word balloon implies a certain note of triumph, and the way he holds up his wine glass for a toast shows that he’s going to do this dump job in style. Mary is enjoying a glass of human blood, as is her wont.

Gasoline Alley, 6/26/06

Meanwhile, in Gasoline Alley, a small child is about to be eaten by a bear.

Six Chix, 6/26/06

In Six Chix, a proud young person punches an old woman in the face.

They’ll Do It Every Time, 6/26/06

And in TDIET, a German family is baffled by the idea that non-Germans might be of interest to anybody.

133 responses to “Hair of the dog”

  1. captainswift
    June 26th, 2006 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    So, expanding one’s horizons and learning something new is a bad thing?

  2. Nora
    June 26th, 2006 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    Poor Zigmunt. Not only are his parents strictly in the Deutschland Uber Alles camp, but it seems that he failed to realize that the Spanish textbook would have actual Spanish words in it, too. “‘Hasta la vista’.. wha?” Indeed.

  3. bob
    June 26th, 2006 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    Why is Zigmunt in the exact middle of His Spanish textbook after one day of class? And mom sometimes says “Ya” and sometimes “Ja?” TDIET should do a strip on its own inconsistencies.

  4. LilAussieGal
    June 26th, 2006 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    Is it just me, or does Mary Worth look like a monkey in that last panel?
    Also Boog? Boog?! Is this some kind of nickname or something? Sorry, but this is the first time I’ve ever seen this strip, so it’s kinda confusing.
    Six Chix is one of the few times I’ve ever actually laughed at a comic strip. Usually I’m just left very confused/angry/unamused.

  5. Dan
    June 26th, 2006 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    I like how TDIET minces gingerly around its own punchline, as if afraid to get too close. “Like we mean, listen in… huh? That’s funny, huh? Oh, yeah!”

  6. lilybdcsa
    June 26th, 2006 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    Oh my stars and garters! I can’t believe how stupid TDIET is! I used to think that someone who got enraged by comics should seek serious help, but TDIET just pushes my buttons on so many levels. I can’t believe that crap is still in the newspapers.

    I’m going for help now….

  7. Dawn Weston
    June 26th, 2006 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    Note that the “special outfit” Mary has picked out for La Rosa is nothing but cruise wear. Again.

  8. Not_Todd
    June 26th, 2006 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    The kid is no doubt named after Oriole great Boog Powell.

  9. Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
    June 26th, 2006 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    Could it be that the colorizing has been outsourced to some nation where dogs are never seen, except piecemeal in meat markets?

    I’m glad you caught that Six Chicks strip. It’s not often that we see people telling the aged what they really think about them, especially in such a public forum. I’d like it if Thel would haul off and belt her mother in law some day.

    Didn’t Odie fall off the table on top of Garfield yesterday? That might have been worthy of comment. Perhaps Odie had a stroke.

  10. Anonymous
    June 26th, 2006 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    Apparently Zigmunt’s can’t spell either German or English in their speech balloons. It’s too bad that Mary and Dr. Jeff are inside the restaurant so else we could have checked out Mary’s finger quotes. I’ll bet she can give Magot a run for the money.

  11. Bill Peschel
    June 26th, 2006 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    That Six Chix is one of the most retarded strips I’ve ever read in the history of ever.

    The sheer incompentence of the art, matched with the nasty face-punching, allied with the cultural subtext of helpless young woman manipulated by advertising into assaulting old women, has convinced me that hell is other cartoonists.

  12. Fred P.
    June 26th, 2006 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    Well, I’m sure we may be all -I know I am!- suffering from the early whiplash symptoms of contest-o-mania after the whirlwind of excitement, heat and flash that was the FQ’nML-A-L Contest, but I sure got my sporting blood flowing. So allow me to humbly suggest one more competition. Now, we can’t impose upon Josh the burden of adjudicating, because he has already taken on the uneviable task of choosing between a field of such staggering perfection that my mind, for one, is truly boggled. So, why not have the brain trust at, say, be our next judge? What I am proposing, ladies and gentlemen, is a race. A race to see which of us will be the first to have a submission featured in either TDIET or Pluggers! So make up some preposterous nincompoopery now! Submit early! Submit often! Remember, you have nothing to lose. And if you win, you will revel in eternal glory! Eternal that is until next Thursday, when the recyclers pick the old newspapers up. Oh yeah!

  13. Uncle Lumpy
    June 26th, 2006 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    And, as befits the booze-centric world of Mary Worth, the glasses are absolutely level, absolutely aligned, and the visual focus of the panel.

    You can almost hear the inkers panting, “OK, last panel – who cares what it looks like, just focus and get it done, then back to the bottle in fifteen minutes – twenty, tops

  14. Marc
    June 26th, 2006 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace: I think that Ruff being green is the least of their problems. Mr. Nuclear is wearing a monocle to read the newspaper and while he has fingers, his son has curls. Who gives a crap about the dog.

    Due to the mis-coloring I think he would fit in well at Mary Worth. I mean, a dog with green patches seems more normal than two men both wearing orange shirts and electric blue slacks within a day of each other. Am I right?

  15. Mibbitmaker
    June 26th, 2006 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

    6 Chix: There’s a missing panel between two and three where the black-haired lady screams, “OMIGOD! SHE’S DEAD!!”

    MW: “Leave the country”? Did Dr. Jeff not pay his income tax for a little while? When Mare gets home all sad and angry at doc, the poor woman doesn’t even have her swans to break!

    GA: I dunno, I think this strip is really getting carried away…

    TDIET: Methinks Eddie and Liz need to learn a language, too…English! They’ll do it every time: write a panel completely incomprehensibly!

  16. John-
    June 26th, 2006 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    Honestly, Josh…you should have stopped with Mary’s glass of blood. Those last three were pure WTF.

  17. John-
    June 26th, 2006 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    And I agree with Fred, this idea has potential…

  18. Len
    June 26th, 2006 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    Who cares where Dennis’s harmonica disappeared to? Where are the kid’s FINGERS?

    The artists who took over for the late Hank Ketcham are getting too cute with their illustrative “short-hand.” (No digits for finger quoting, Margo!) Skimping on the number of fingers is a cartoon tradition, but Dennis has just thumbs and a spiral. Papa Henry long ago seems to have lost his chin, has a horrible overbite, and what’s with those knuckles? Is this arthritis? His nose should go back in the crisper, or saved for next winter’s snowman.

    Hey Dad! What happened to your eyeballs? Good Ol’ Ruff is probably green from eating all the broccoli Dennis slips him under the dinner table.

  19. Marc
    June 26th, 2006 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    MW: CAMBODIA!!! Half way round the world! Yes! Thrid World country! I’d like to see him adjust from elegant dinners at La Rosa to giving vaccine shots to desolate children. Nary an electric blue trouser in Cambodia.

    If Mary was slighted by the overflowing garbage can by the Woman’s shelter I suggest she not actually experience first hand, what poverty really is. Stick with gossiping with Toby, Mary.

  20. Justin
    June 26th, 2006 at 11:17 pm [Reply]


    Say it with me: W. T. F.

    I know this is ridiculous to ask, but what’s the point? Is this a German family living in America? Did they just move here?

    And is the attempted humor as racist as I perceive it to be?

    Look, I’m all for making fun of the comics. But this strip just takes the life from the living.

  21. Mibbitmaker
    June 26th, 2006 at 11:17 pm [Reply]


    Beetle Bailey: Beetle’s doing his Ann Coulter impression.

    Nancy: The girl’s way behind on her SNL characters, isn’t she? Nancy an’ Sluggo, makin’ cop-aaaahs!

    Marvin: Can you say… bigamy?….

  22. Len
    June 26th, 2006 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    So Lysander pulls off his shirt and tie, like Clark Kent disrobing to his Superman identity. But instead of the Big Red “S” — He has a tattoo of a pierced heart and the word “Reason” on his manly chest? Huh?

    That’s not Reason making you throb below the belt, Sander. Is there a tatt saying “Lust” above your pubic hair? (What’s with Lysander’s mouth, by the way? He looks sort of like a Picasso doodle.)

  23. Canaduck
    June 26th, 2006 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

    The writers of TDIET need to work on their damn English before they discuss language in any capacity. Like–huh, whatever?–I, you…not, what’d he say–LISTEN, TDIET, NOBODY TALKS LIKE THIS. EVER. Oh Mommy, what he said!

    The horrible German misspelling notwithstanding, how the hell would a scenario like this come about? The German parents clearly speak English poorly, so why wouldn’t they speak German around the house? The only reasonable explanation is that they want their son to forget his German heritage and adjust to American life completely, but it’s obvious that THAT isn’t it. Eddie and Liz of Boston, MA, this never happened. Freaking liars.

  24. JT
    June 27th, 2006 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    So what’s with Mary Worth’s outfit today? On Sunday you see her getting ready to don a sassy purple dress, but today she’s wearing what appears to be one of Laura Bush’s pantsuits. Maybe the dress wasn’t fancy enough for “La Rosa”?

  25. Ron
    June 27th, 2006 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    By the way, I’m sorry, but “vie gates?” for “wie geht’s?” is just STOOPID. That’s like saying “Come on, tally view?”

  26. Sparkles
    June 27th, 2006 at 12:41 am [Reply]

    Okay, Ruff’s a dog. When dogs eat something they shouldn’t, they eat grass to make themselves puke it back up. Grass is green, and in summer, grass is so green that the color rubs off on anything that comes into anything but the gentlest contact. Ruff is green on the knees and mouth because he’s been eating grass. As dogs do. What’s the problem?

  27. Weasel Boy
    June 27th, 2006 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    TDIET: We can thank the writer or writers of this strip for the horrible writing, but we must thank Eddie and Liz of Boston for the incredibly stupid idea. According to this pair, children of immigrants will skip the easy “A” and try to learn a new language EVERY TIME. Yes, I struggled through all the ersatz German and chaotic narration, sat back and cried “by golly, that is so true!”

    And what’s the deal with TDIET and Pluggers basing their strips on reader suggestions? It’s the comics equivalent of karaoke.

  28. edward
    June 27th, 2006 at 1:37 am [Reply]

    Okay, I know it’s only a comic, but I have learned to hate TDIET in much the same way as I hate fascism. WHAT is it they do every time? WHY should I care? What are “Eddie & Liz” trying to tell us? Is this anti-Spanish in schools? Germanophobia? Don’t they understand that a student with fluent-German-speaking parents almost undoubtedly SPEAKS GERMAN ALREADY? Or did their idiot spawn not realise that German and Spanish are different languages? Or is it that children should only learn English to prevent the nation from being taken over by Fifth Columnists, closet Bundists and illegal imm’grunts (kiss a baby, wave flag, ask for an amen)?

    It’s not funny, nor interesting, nor true…EVER. I would rather the comics page featured a daily list of the sort of tripe my father sends to me (” A duck’s echo doesn’t quack, and no one knows why”, with the various items in multicolour extra large fonts for no reason. THAT’S not true either, but at least has a discenible freakin’ POINT. TDIET is simply moronic…it’s what stupid people think wit and subtlety must be like, the humour equivalent of cheese and pineapple on a toothpick.

    Or maybe US papers could start carrying some of the comics in The Sun (NSFW). Then at least there’d be naked bosoms. I’d prefer poorly drawn bosoms every day of the week rather than this unfettered crap.

    (choking on own rage)

  29. Scumbaggioni
    June 27th, 2006 at 2:14 am [Reply]

    The colorist for the “Dennis” strip probably frequents TBogg.

    You know the world is coming to an end when “Gasoline Alley” starts chanelling “South Park”–namely, the episode where Kenny and Kyle (and a whole slew of Squirts) are kidnapped by a large bear to…attend a birthday party for her cub.

    …Oy vey. We used to WATCH that crud.

  30. Other_Sally
    June 27th, 2006 at 2:19 am [Reply]

    It is actually very possible to have first-generation immigrant parents and not really speak the language. It is also possible to have your parents be fluent, but to speak the language poorly, and to not be able to write it at all. I know lots of people who fit both these criteria, so okay, I can see how Zigmunt might want to take German in school as both an easy A and to know it better (though he should still be able to understand a good amount even if he can’t speak well).

    What I don’t understand is why TDIET seems to think that NOT taking an easy A is a stupid, mock-worthy offense. WHY are we supposed to mock people who choose to learn something new? I’d get it if it was presented as the kid passing up a chance to better speak his parents’ language and taking Spanish because everyone else was taking it instead… but that’s not how it’s shown. Somehow, the cartoonist of TDIET seems very offended that a German kid might want to study a language that he can’t get an easy A in.

  31. Scumbaggioni
    June 27th, 2006 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    Meanwhile, in “Sherman’s Lagoon,” a “Finding Nemo” parody ends with a main character being hucked off a cliff onto the rocks below.

    Also, Dennis’ hands freak me out. Deadline problems?

  32. Mibbitmaker
    June 27th, 2006 at 2:22 am [Reply]


    (Everyone knew her as) Nancy: Joke. Rimshot! – in such a manner as the drummer’s lost the will to live.

    Buckets: Hey, did you hear? Bucket just defied the law of gravity.

    A3G: Tommie, that’s not an answer to Lu Ann’s question. Look. You just made her head bobble. Now all 3 of you rattle your heads all over. You know Lu’s intellectually incapable of following zig-zaggy conversation. I hope you’re happy.

    SF: Firefly genocide. Sally *deserves* to get her own sly-eyes from her daughter.

    (DT)GT: The middle panel looks like one of those pop art prints from the 1960s. Either that, or there’s a major explosion behind sportsguy, who’s then the real “sacrifice specialist” for taking dynamite to broadcast the dopey baseball games. Whadda trooper!

    Spiderman: NOW he’s supportive. What’ve you done to the real Peter Parker, imposter?!

    FW: We’ve all delt with the “bat guano” from FW since after the ’80s.

    FOOB: Okay, we’ve just gotten used to Mtigcantthinkofaparodyname, and here’s Amish-AlexTrebek-what-now? AUGH! In other developments, Liz has been accepted in the community – now that she’s shoving off? Yeah, way to accept her, Mtigpersons.

    FC: Jeffy Keanecharacter: Medical Marvel! Comics’ first bionic boy?

  33. edward
    June 27th, 2006 at 2:41 am [Reply]

    It is actually very possible to have first-generation immigrant parents and not really speak the language. It is also possible to have your parents be fluent, but to speak the language poorly, and to not be able to write it at all

    True, if you’re not exposed to the language at home. But as his parents seem to speak to him in Deutsch-lish, it would be almost impossible for him not to have picked up the language by now. My neighbours have three children, aged 4-11, and despite only having one german speaking parent, speak perfect, accentless German.

    I concede your point on writing however, and would add one of my own; even native speakers are often confused by the sort of grammar that’s taught in language courses. Most English speakers couldn’t distinguish the four conditionals, or explain how extraction works in embedded questions, for instance.

    But it still remains that the comic doesn’t make a lick of goddamned sense.

  34. Other_Sally
    June 27th, 2006 at 3:05 am [Reply]

    Nope, I know some people whose parents speak a language at home, and they can’t really speak it at all, though they do understand it. It’s really sad, but it happens. I’m actually more surprised at your example–it’s usually not that easy to get kids that are born in the USA to speak the parents’ language, unless they also live in a closed community. (This is why Asian families and Hispanic families retain their native languages better–they tend to live in clusters, while as Europeans spread out and move about. Though even the Asian kids don’t necessarily know how to write their language, which is why the Chinese classes in my highschool mostly consisted of kids who already spoke Chinese.)

    My little sister at one point almost stopped speaking our language completely, and she wasn’t even born here, she was just very young when we came over. My parents had to get us weekend language classes so that we’d keep up with it. And most parents I know have had to use classes in combination with speaking almost exclusive non-English for the kids’ first few years to get the foreign language to stick.

    Sorry to go off-topic. :-)

  35. DaveMan
    June 27th, 2006 at 3:34 am [Reply]

    #12, Fred P,

    The only thing I ever learned from Wizard of Id was the word “nincompoop”. Thanks for your nostalgic phrase “preposterous nincompoopery”! (Surprisingly, a word my spell checker already seems to know.)

    I hope the peanut gallery here takes you up on your suggestion — 99% of the comments here are more clever than 99.9% of what we find in TDIET or Pluggers.

  36. edward
    June 27th, 2006 at 3:36 am [Reply]

    Boring post about Child L1 and L2 acquisition to follow…skip ahead to discuss Foob if woul wish.

    I’ll be honest, that goes against every case study and all the data collection I’ve ever looked at. I might suggest that possibly the parents didn’t encourage the child to speak the language, the child made a decision (consciously or unconsciously) to stop using the language (which happens quite often at school age), or the child actually knows the language better than he thinks, but feels lacking in comparison to native-speaker parents. Particularly what you say about children who understand a language that they claim they can’t speak. Essentially, any child with enough exposure to a language will learn it perfectly; this is why the children of monolingual non-English speaking immigrants are able to speak English. They may have a trace of an accent, but usually don’t, especially once they’ve attended school with native English speakers for a while (it’s not what they learn in class, it’s interacting and speaking with native speakers that lets children acquire language.

    I’ve not seen any research on the children of non-English speaking European parents, but it’s also worth considering that parents who are willing to move to an English-language country with their children from European countries often have a high standard of English to begin with, and most likely use it more than than those with a lesser command of English.

    What you say is certainly (almost universally) true for SECOND generations (who generally don’t know their grandparents’ language at all) but this needs a generation of bilingualism to be true. And yes, if a language acquired as a child isn’t used, it can and will go away (apparentl;y, I knew some Dutch as a child, as I had a Dutch babysitter, but I’m lost with it now).

  37. Plunketto
    June 27th, 2006 at 4:31 am [Reply]

    Sorry to go off topic here, but what’s with the bears crawling on their hands and knees? Seems a pretty stupid way to draw them unless they’re actually people in bear costumes, which seems quite a novel way to kidnap a child.

  38. Brian from MWDG
    June 27th, 2006 at 5:02 am [Reply]

    I think this means Jeff is a goner… We will have weeks of Mary Grieving….

  39. Other_Sally
    June 27th, 2006 at 5:08 am [Reply]

    # 38: Well, I didn’t go into the kids’ motivations. It’s very possible the kids who stopped speaking it completely just didn’t want to speak it, or felt why and quietly dropped it into disuse. With my sister it was more a matter of laziness (not that she was lazy, but it was just easier for her to stop speaking the foreign language). She spoke English at school, and she spoke English to me (we still communicate in English, though I speak my native language with my parents), and she could speak English to my parents and they’d understand her, so there was no reason for her NOT to speak English all the time.

    And when you don’t speak a language, you do forget it. Heck, even my parents, who left their native country in their 30s and speak with accents and all that, say that they’re forgetting their native tongue a little bit, and prefer to use English words for some things. And that’s not at all uncommon, seeing as how all my relatives are immigrants, so I have a good number of “case studies” to observe.

  40. Frank Drackman
    June 27th, 2006 at 5:50 am [Reply]

    TDIET blew it,There actually were kids who spoke Spanish as a first language, and would take the highschool Spanish course as an easy “A”. They usually had trouble because they didn’t know the grammar stuff any better than the english speaking kids who studied the stuff, and actual practical skill with the language wasn’t much help. It would also have been funny if Zigmints dad was Dr. Mengele in 1950′s Argentina, and after a hard day experimenting on humans he tries to be the good dad and take an interest in Mengele Jr.s studies.

  41. Jerseygull
    June 27th, 2006 at 6:25 am [Reply]

    Re TDIET: I once had a co-worker whose mother was from France and who grew up bilingual. When she got to college, she wanted to study more French — but couldn’t because the classes that were offered were not advanced enough for her. She already knew pretty much everything they could teach her. So maybe a student who already knew a language would want to study a different one just to keep from getting bored going over old ground.

  42. Dji
    June 27th, 2006 at 6:58 am [Reply]

    BB: “Hey, do you think I can bounce back like your meatballs?”

    Beetle insults Sarge’s cook doppleganger and simultaneously compliments his man sack. Nice.

  43. TheRay
    June 27th, 2006 at 7:27 am [Reply]

    I wouldn’t get our hopes up about this Jeff-leaving- the-country thing. I think we all know it’s going to end in the typical lame Mary Worth way, like Jeff’s big foreign junket being nothing more than a weekend trip to Toronto to see the Argonauts.

  44. Dennis Jimenez
    June 27th, 2006 at 7:47 am [Reply]


    (DT)GT – Transfiguration Tuesday – In panel two, Marty Moon is revealed to us in all his celestial glory.

    MT – You go fishing, Honey. I’m just going to change my tampon. I doubt that it will attract any injured and enraged 1,500 pound omnivors aimlessly meandering around in the general area.

  45. Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
    June 27th, 2006 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    TDIET doesn’t even get it’s own concept. Isn’t expressing frustration at the senselessly irritating things that happen over and over again in life (such as lazy, good fer nuthin’ layabout kids taking the easy way out) the only reason this thing exists? So now, having violated this principal, shouldn’t the whole strip now collapse upon itself in a meta-implosion?

  46. ez_E
    June 27th, 2006 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    I was thinking the same as 40, that’s it’s taking place in some ex-Nazi colony in South America and Zagnut figures the only way to shock his parents is to try to learn zee language of an inferior race. TDIET!! I also picture Ziggy saying ‘hasta la vista’ like Arnold in T2.
    I’m addicted to TDIET, in a masochistic kind of way.
    The next time a girl dumps me I’m going to respond, “?!” like Mary.

  47. Mike
    June 27th, 2006 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace was a thalidomide baby… who knew? And I’m sure he’ll thank you not to call attention to his disability.

  48. ez_E
    June 27th, 2006 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    Anybody see today’s TDIET? “The urge to package mix her to the moon” Brilliant
    What’s the deal with the woman named, ‘Catastra’? Supposed to suggest castration or something?

  49. punk
    June 27th, 2006 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    Comic reader Curmudgeon could avoid a lotta stress if he’d just not read the comics section — but — when the next day rolls around, whazzis? Huh?

    “We-e-ll, Josh — Don’t tell me yer readin’ that Family Circus again — An’ on the computer about it — The human brain can only take so much –”
    “B-but don’tcha see — I gotta make sure that others share the pain! ….Savvy-view?”

    (p.s.: Please don’t ever stop reading the comics, Josh.)

  50. roydrink
    June 27th, 2006 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    With dyslexia you’re always entertained.

    Today’s middle panel of Gil Thorp (see #32′s comments) made me laugh, since I first thought it said, “Davis’ buns – and it’s a beauty!”

    Which would make Gil Thorp a lot more interesting, don’t you think?

  51. Hans
    June 27th, 2006 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    Back in the Eisenhower era they had this stuff called dirt. When it got wet it made mud. Dogs get muddy when there’s mud, and dirt with a slight tint of green is very common in some parts. It might be colored a bit too green, but I gather that the colorers have more experience with dogs than you do.

  52. blueeyes
    June 27th, 2006 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    #48: I can only imagine that Catastra’s middle name is Fee. As in, Catasta Fee. Yeesh.

  53. dlauthor
    June 27th, 2006 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    51: The difficulty here is that that sort of verisimilitude is a trifle strange, coming from a strip whose writer is too lazy to draw fingers, preferring cinnamon-bun-shaped flippers instead.

    Me, I think Ruff’s been into the olive tapenade again. But then, I’m a city liberal who’s never seen dirt. Oh … yeah.

    And on to today:

    Curtis: Arrrrrgh. This is the same lesson Curtis learns about Mrs. Nelson every goddam year! Ten freaking years I’ve been getting this strip in my paper, and this little cretin never progresses, even in the slightest. Get some new storylines, Billingsley!

    GF: “What?”, indeed. Like Pinky, I’m not sure what the hell Satchel’s talking about, which makes it all the funnier. Not to mention Bucky’s ninja Hellenic-denial, too.

    Spidey: In Panel 2, Peter is perplexed by the fact that his wife’s started emitting parentheses from her mouth. Gee, thanks, X-gene — that’s some mutant power. Henceforth, MJ shall be known as The Punctuator.

    Mallard: Seriously, all the warning we need for this strip comes from the byline. Just get back to knocking down paper tigers, so we can point and laugh.

    Foob: So … the whole tribe’s throwing Lizard a going-away bash, and until she found out it had some special Native significance, she was planning on just going in her slops? Nice one, you self-absorbed creep. I’m sure Mtiggasawunnerfulthingz will be glad to see you go after all.

    I also like how, in Panel 3, she’s already subconsciously kneeing Sudsley in the batch. Good practice for when Anthony re-enters the picture … assuming he hasn’t been arrested for trying to eat Dennis the Menace’s hands yet, that is.

    F Minus: Have I mentioned how much I’ve been enjoying this strip lately? Dude knows where to find the wrong.

    Foxtrot: What’s up with the random sticking-out-of-tongues in this strip? I like Foxtrot, mainly because it’s good at throwing bones to the greek crowd, but this facial expression baffles me. It’s not even like they’re concentrating, or hungry, or especially wacky.

  54. jess a.
    June 27th, 2006 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    Josh, thanks for picking up on yesterday’s TDIET. It’s good to see that I’m not the only one who was sent into a gibbering rage. I, too, am weirdly and masochistically addicted to this god-forsaken comic, OH YEAH.

  55. mdrew
    June 27th, 2006 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    43: I’m with you on this one. Would Jeff really be calling Mary “my best girl” if he planned on making his escape permanent?
    I’m thinking maybe a senior men’s ‘Iron John’-style retreat.
    Maybe yoga camp?

  56. Ponzicar
    June 27th, 2006 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    In regard to TDIET, I suspect the kid is learning Spanish so he can go visit those relatives in Argentina he overheard his parents talking about. Naturally, mom and dad don’t want him to learn his shameful family secret.

  57. Dark Star
    June 27th, 2006 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    MW: So Doc is heading for Cambodia to do “charity work?” Wasn’t that Gary Glitter’s defense?

  58. Damian P.
    June 27th, 2006 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    So, what website is Luann’s brother visiting?

  59. Josh H
    June 27th, 2006 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    While Dennis’s dad appears content with his cyrillic edition newspaper, its gotta tug at his heart strings to see his two-fingered kid loose a harmonica he’ll never properly play.

  60. brendan
    June 27th, 2006 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    since when is Dennis a Thorazine baby?
    what’s with the flippers?

  61. BassoGap
    June 27th, 2006 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    MW — Hey, look, in Panel 2 — it’s Josef Stalin!

    Luann — Brad…dude…your mom is the hottest MILF in town…put her on parade, please.

  62. Albatross
    June 27th, 2006 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    The only thing funny about the Six Chicks comic is the sign, which seems to be a political ad for a woman with the unfortunate name of “Fightwrinkle S Now”

  63. MossMoses
    June 27th, 2006 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Rogue grizzly bear? Where have I seen that plot before? Do other readers remember that great episode in Alaska with a lonely bald accountant and his pet mouse Mr. Jingles? He hooked up with his long lost daughter and Rusty saved her by blowing the rogue grizzly away. The rogue grizzly ended up face down in the Misty River. Let’s hope they don’t treat this bear like the only wild bear in Germany yesterday.

  64. gg
    June 27th, 2006 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    #48 TDIET people seem to frequently have “the urge to (blankety blank)” pointed out, though this one was pretty good. And of course, it would be utterly impossible for poor Catastra to smile with either real or icily fake sweetness and say, “Actually, I made it from scratch this morning. Would you like the recipe?” No, she must suffer silently, until one day she finally explodes and goes on a rampage with a crate of packaged lead. After all, TDIET!

  65. Dingo
    June 27th, 2006 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    I believe that Dr. Jeff is off to Namibia. With the bounty of Hollywood A-types choosing the country as the place to bear their real nose sportin’, cow-ass ugly children, Dr. Jeff can become the medicine man to the stars.

    Plus, he may want to leave La Rosa before the next panel. Notice in the second panel that the waiter is about to trip while carrying a tray. The platter on the tray is about to land on top of the woman who is complaining about the size of her husband’s manhood using a finger and a chopstick for demonstration purposes. The husband is attempting to drown out her comments through his glass of hmm… it’s an empty glass.

    All hell is about to break loose in La Rosa and there’s nothing that a blood-drinking, monkey-faced old woman in pearls and pastels can do to stop it. Run, Dr. Jeff, run!!!

  66. gg
    June 27th, 2006 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    Oh, and in Six Chix, the force of the woman’s punch actually deflates her hairstyle!

  67. Sourbelly
    June 27th, 2006 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    Blood? I don’t know. I thought it was pretty well established that Mary is partial to ketchup wine.

  68. Bitter Scribe
    June 27th, 2006 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    Once I had a colleague based in France. She was born and raised in California but spoke French perfectly, was married to a Frenchman and was raising kids.

    When her first child was born, she started speaking to her in English so the kid would grow up bilingual. But she gave that up because her in-laws and everyone they knew acted like she was committing child abuse.

    This may just be a French thing. After all, chauvinism is a French word.

  69. gnome de blog
    June 27th, 2006 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    #36 Edward: excellent explanation.
    My great-grandparents emigrated from Czechoslovakia to the US 100 years ago. They never learned English – on purpose. Their daugher (my grandmother) spoke unaccented English even though she didn’t learn it until she went to school. I doubt if she could ever read or write Czech (it’s possible my grandparents couldn’t read or write it either, but that’s another story). My mother, who lived with her grandparents for a year or two, doesn’t speak Czech at all, but she understands quite a bit of it.

  70. jiggers
    June 27th, 2006 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    You can read more about Spanish on the Internet.

  71. mere cog in the machine
    June 27th, 2006 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Nearly all of the posters on this site seem to be intelligent and well-informed, but to see them wasting their talents on a rancid, running sore of a comic like TDIET is like Joyce and Elliot calling a poetic conclave to heatedly debate the relative merits of “there once was a man from Nantucket”. C’mon folks! If we keep having these in-depth discussions on TDIET, well, then, the terrorists win.
    Speaking of completely shitty comics, there are some that make me cringe, some that downright embarrass me, and some that make me angry in a vague sort of way. Only ‘Rose is Rose’, however, makes me want to machine-gun someone to death.

  72. Abbey the Wonderdog
    June 27th, 2006 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    We want to know when Dr. Troy is going to come totally clean and come out of the closet.


  73. MossMoses
    June 27th, 2006 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    71: Mere Cog, add Pajama Diaries to your abysmally crappy comic strips list. That has been running in the Post during the Boondocks “sabbathical”. It is sickening, pandering fluff that cannot go away too soon.

  74. kostia
    June 27th, 2006 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    GF: Love the payoff. “Greeks don’t exist.” It’s like it’s a little bonus in parentheses. Beautiful.

  75. Damian P.
    June 27th, 2006 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    While Dennis’s dad appears content with his cyrillic edition newspaper…

    I had no idea Izvestiya was still being published.

  76. Dji
    June 27th, 2006 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    71: If Joyce and elliot discussed ye olde Nantucket nugget, the results would be art. Beautiful, beautiful art.

    Like my sublime “man sack” comment above: art. Like speculations about the sexual preferences of Rex Morgan bit players and DtM’s Thorazine status: art.

    TDIET is an abomination, true, but it lends itself well to the high-fallutin’ art we’re creating on these pages.

  77. Mary Brandt
    June 27th, 2006 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    I do enjoy the weird valley girl/surfer dude-esque language used in TDIET. “Like, we mean…”, “So-o…”, and whatnot. It’s just another example of elderly comics writers trying to sound hip, which is one of the reasons I want to believe that the girl in Six Chix was punching out that old woman; intolerance for octogenarian use of slang.


  78. rich
    June 27th, 2006 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    Why is Ruff wearing big wire rim spectacles at the end of his nose?

    49 – Funny — why not send it to TDIET — maybe they’ll use it!

    71 – My latest Rose is Rose rage was directed at Sunday’s strip, Jimbo in the shower stupidly belting “…and the tears of a clown!” There is no such lyric — sheesh, do some research, Pat Brady!

  79. BigJoe
    June 27th, 2006 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    #78 – I’m no fan of “Rose is Rose”, but what’s wrong with someone singing the wrong lyrics? Doesn’t that happen in real life all the time?

  80. dlauthor
    June 27th, 2006 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    79: I’m more concerned with Jimbo’s song selection in that strip, frankly. He and his shapeshifter of a wife must be in their late 20s, 30s at the latest. And he sings Tears of a Clown in the shower? Nothing more appropriate to the music he probably did listen to when he was younger? I suppose it wouldn’t suit the tenor of the strip if he were to be singing “givitawaygivitawaygivitawaynow,” followed by “Jeremy spohhhhke in … clayayass tooodayyyy” but you can always use U2 or something for the more middle-of-the-road vibe.

  81. mere cog in the machine
    June 27th, 2006 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    #76: You are of course, correct. I not only missed the boat, but the dock was windswept and desolate on my arrival. Not to denigrate your artistic ability, but doesn’t the use of the term “man sack” make nearly any comment sublime?

  82. AK_Teacher
    June 27th, 2006 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    What ever happened to the St. Bernard?? Poor thing.

  83. David
    June 27th, 2006 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    That Six Chix strip made me laugh, inept as it is. And not much makes me laugh these days.

    Josh, please do more of these 5-or-6 strips a day posts (when your busy schedule allows) – you’ve commented on the best, so now I don’t even have to bother reading the rest. Of the comics. In my daily newspaper or online. Because I feel like I got enough entertainment out of this, I don’t need to look elsewhere.

  84. JEdens
    June 27th, 2006 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    Frank and Ernest is doing relevant political commentary? Look out Doonesbury!

  85. JEdens
    June 27th, 2006 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

  86. bupdaddy
    June 27th, 2006 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    Zigmunt made the smart move. His parents can’t even spell “Sigmund” and they were hoping to help him with German lessons.

    They can’t even get him a real bookbag – he has to carry his schoolbooks in a discarded pizza carrier. He should just lie about all the courses he’s taking, so they can’t possibly try to interfere any more than they do already.

  87. Meggie
    June 27th, 2006 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    In MW, again, every sentace seems to ends in either a period or exclamation. Someone probabaly already pointed this out.

    Dennis The Menace has the “Dog ate something and now is making the sound” joke, that every comic takes at one time in its life.

  88. Dji
    June 27th, 2006 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    #81: You’re right, of course. And if it’s so easy, can it really be art? You can read about this issue in my essay, “Does ‘man sack’ Make You a Hack?” in the next issue of Art in America.

  89. Justin
    June 27th, 2006 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    A little research shows TDIET has been around longer than any of us.

    From Time:

    Nov. 10, 1952
    Cartoonist Jimmy Hatlo, a jovial, bigdomed man who explodes into mock-temper tantrums, makes more than $250,000 a year by illustrating his simple theory that things always happen at the worst possible moment. Last week Hatlo, whose syndicated cartoon “They’ll Do It EveryTime” runs in 637 dailies around the world, had real-life facts to back up his fiction.

    $250,000? In 1952? That was, like, I mean, a billlion dollars, r-r-right?

  90. blueeyes
    June 27th, 2006 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    Whatever turned Ol’ Ruff green probably warped Dennis’ hands. Poor kid.

  91. dlauthor
    June 27th, 2006 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    81: let’s try a few.

    * Everything Scott Stantis draws looks like a swollen, scribbly mansack.

    * Solve a crime? Spider-man couldn’t find his own mansack with both hands and a copy of Gray’s Anatomy.

    * Incidence of mansack-scratching among Pluggers is twice the national average.

    * Hey, Tinsley! Bite my hairy mansack!

    Yeah, it works.

  92. dlauthor
    June 27th, 2006 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    89: Hmmm-m-m-m. Been around that long, huh? Wha-? And hasn’t changed much? So-o-o-o.

    Guess it just shows that bile makes a good preservative.

    Oh. Yeah!

  93. Dennis Jimenez
    June 27th, 2006 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    You’re a plugger if your kleenex is a snot covered shirt sleeve.

  94. MossMoses
    June 27th, 2006 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    93: That snot true! You’re not really a phlegm fatale plugger until your liquid yellow and green nose slime coagulates on your nostril hairs.

  95. AK_Teacher
    June 27th, 2006 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    94: Then I guess Ruff is a Plugger!

  96. rich
    June 27th, 2006 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    Caught a sneak peek at tomorrow’s TDIET:

    “Sleezabeth couldn’t wait to leave the ol’ family home and move up north, r-r-right? – - – But when Mom retires, Dad buys a new car, and Gramps grows another scrotal chin – - – well – - – Guess who’s suddenly homesick and heading back to Granthony, huh? – - – er – - Oh, yeah! – - -”

  97. bootsybooks
    June 27th, 2006 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    More information about man sacks can be found on the internet. Oh yeah!

  98. dre
    June 27th, 2006 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    Something that is bothering me – on top of TDIET being one of the worst comics of all time – is that it appears to be named “They’ll Do It EveryTime”. I know that everytime, regardless of capitalization, is not a word. Is there some sort of underlying wordplay that would have led Jimmy Hatlo to combine the words every and time? If I’m not getting it, just tell me what it is, and I’ll hush.

  99. dimestore lipstick
    June 27th, 2006 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    Between yesterday’s shot of Mary and today’s view of Jeff, they both look so bleary-eyed I can only conclude that they’re ripped to the nipples on whatever it is sloshing around in those glasses.

    (Mary looks like she’s hitting the ketchup again, while Jeff is imbibing a refreshing G&T. Or G&G)

  100. rich
    June 27th, 2006 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    “Ol’ Meddlin’ Mary was never interested in sex – - – oh, yeah! – - – telling Dr. McPudgy he should be satisfied with their ‘special friendship’, huh?? – - Till one day the good doctor packed his bags for Cambodia and – - – er – - – whuzzat?! – - Now who’s eager for a roll in the mansack, huh? – - r-r-right!!”

  101. bootsybooks
    June 27th, 2006 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    JP: Is the judge a superhero? Cuz her has these blue and white stripes in his hair, so I just wondered.

    You know I love the Phantom ass perspective, especially when its the Phantom’s stripey butt on view, but is that guy in the last panel wearing a Viewmaster on his head?

  102. Fred P.
    June 27th, 2006 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    Ok, seriously, WTF with Ziggy today?

    The artwork shows that physical violence has been done unto Ziggy in the recent past, and that pleases me of course, but the dialog is so truly baffling as to negate a good deal of the pleasure.

    Who is Uncle Ignatz? Whose uncle is it anyway? The mouse who (presumably) lives in the mousehole? What (apart from the obvious) does Uncle Ignatz have against Ziggy? Where did he go after ki-boshing Ziggy? Did he only come for the sole purpose of braining Ziggy? Is this a drive-by brick-to-the-head incident? In which case, I’d like to see it become a recurring motif in this strip. Or was the brick artiste not Uncle Ignatz at all, but the mysterious “he” who Ziggy evidently didn’t pay enough attention too?

    Please, I need some answers!

  103. dimestore lipstick
    June 27th, 2006 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    There was, at one time, a space between Every and Time.

    At least, according to the 1949 King Features Catalog there was:

  104. GodWithFire
    June 27th, 2006 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: A bunt — the most exciting thing the satanesque sportscaster has Ever Seen in his Entire Life. I can’t imagine how he’d be drawn if he witnessed, say, a man riding a pig.

  105. dlauthor
    June 27th, 2006 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    102: Behold –

    Ignatz is a brick-throwing cartoon mouse that regularly assaulted a cartoon cat (Krazy Kat) by way of thrown brick to the head. (And people bitch that children’s entertainment is violent today.)

    Said cartoon is probably getting close to 100 years old. Which shows that the target readership for Ziggy is, in fact, currently dead of old age.

  106. MossMoses
    June 27th, 2006 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    101: Bootsy, Chatu is wearing night vision goggles. He and his sissy band of terr’r wannabes will end up in jail with skull marks on their jaws, whimpering about a beefcake ghost in skin tight lycra spandex.

  107. Dji
    June 27th, 2006 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    #106: I love how you avoided working “man sack” into your description of the Phantom’s spandex suit. Your “man sack lacuna” technique shows you are a true artist.

    That’s how it’s done, folks.

  108. Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
    June 27th, 2006 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    A lot of these posts have been boring, but some have been keepers.

  109. H.Q. Bananabread
    June 27th, 2006 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    75, 98: Poster Dimwitty’ll take the time to type out a question — when a 2-second Google search would’ve answered it without making himself look like a doofus. R-i-i-i-ght? Oh yeah!

  110. AwfulArt
    June 27th, 2006 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    Is Pigs pet Newt gonna get neutered??

  111. mon-ma-tron
    June 27th, 2006 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    … or newtered?

  112. messy
    June 27th, 2006 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    31: Sherman’s Lagoon is probably the most realistic funny animal fantasy of all time. After all, carnivores EAT other fish. Sherman has eaten some of his friends before.

    22: Pibgorn looks like it’s turning pornographic, which is cool. I think I saw full backel nudity last week, so I think we can look forward to naked titties real soon!!!!

  113. AppleGirl
    June 27th, 2006 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    #109 – That’s harsh!

  114. Islamorada Girl
    June 27th, 2006 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    Mansacks can be found on the internet.

  115. lilybdcsa
    June 27th, 2006 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    #53 — This is what Satchel was talking about:

  116. Mary Better
    June 28th, 2006 at 12:54 am [Reply]


    Ooh, I’ve got one for Pluggers…

    Caption: A Plugger’s family tree can sometimes be a little tangled!

    Ma Coyote and Junior Weasel are looking at the photo album. Ma’s saying, “That there be your second cousin, Mabel, but she’s also your Granddaddy’s third wife! Remember, they had that autistic girl, the one that done got herself knocked up by your cousin Daril or your other cousin Darrull…”

    Yeah, sometimes the laziest joke is also the easiest joke.

  117. Mary Better
    June 28th, 2006 at 1:01 am [Reply]

    Incidentally, I’m not sure how a Plugger would pronounce autistic. I’m torn between ohtiskit and oartastic.

  118. Treadwell
    June 28th, 2006 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    I think the odd “S” spacing on Six Chix is due to the editor having removed a misplaced apostrophe, the presence of which possibly being the real cause of the violence (or maybe that’s just me).

  119. BassoGap
    June 28th, 2006 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    Mary Better (#117) — Plugger pronunciation of “autistic”? That’s easy: “slow”.

    Or Hank Hill’s favorite: “that boy ain’t right”.

  120. Jimmy
    June 28th, 2006 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    “twenty or so perpetually drunk and irresponsible 19-year-old layabouts”


  121. Some Person
    June 28th, 2006 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    You know, many explanations have been offered for why Ruff’s fur is green, but I think it’s because he’s secretly a polar bear. In February, 2004, bears in the Singapore Zoo turned green because of algae growth in their fur. Clearly, Ruff is a young polar bear that’s escaped from the zoo. Any day now, he’ll get big enough to eat Dennis.

  122. Len
    June 28th, 2006 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    #114 — “Mansacks can be found on the Internet.”

    Yeah, but you have to pledge that you’re over 18, and they download all those annoying cookies and gay spam and stuff!

  123. tefflan
    June 28th, 2006 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    What the hell is a “foob?”

  124. Scumbaggioni
    June 28th, 2006 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    #123: It’s a combination of deragotory terms apparently created by April. Used here to describe “For Better Or For Worse” itself.

    There was a nonsensical page about “foob” at itself, but it’s missing right now. Here’s the Google cache page:

    Talk about foobery… 9_9

  125. heynoni
    June 29th, 2006 at 1:50 am [Reply]


    Seriously, if cartoonists can’t managed to create a panel without dedicating half the space to text just to explain the joke, then they should GIVE UP.

    Actually, if they have to explain the joke at all, they should give up before even picking up the pencil.

  126. tefflan
    June 29th, 2006 at 6:33 am [Reply]

    #124 Thanks. I had a feeling it somehow came from FBOFW, but I couldn’t quite make the connection.

  127. Sam
    June 30th, 2006 at 7:36 am [Reply]

    I’ll let you in on a secret – in most cases daily comic strips are shipped black and white from source, except the Sunday ones.
    They are coloured by underpaid and overworked junior art staff at the Newspaper, or the middle source from where a bunch of newspapers get that strip.

  128. Theassasin_69
    January 17th, 2008 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    Most of the time the commentary is funnier than the comics ever hopped to be, but I am still literally laughing out loud at the six chicks comic of the old woman getting knocked out by a moron who took the “fight wrinkle’s” ad a little too seriously.

  129. Panthea
    June 25th, 2008 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    So I highly doubt anyone’s still checking in on this thread, but I feel obliged to chime in anyway: my parents immigrated to the US from Egypt, and frequently spoke Arabic at home, but I never picked up on the language. Aside from basic commands (of the “hurry up,” “come here,” “stop that” type), I just do not understand it– and two years of Arabic classes in colleges did very little to remedy that. Quite frankly, the assertion that children of first-generation immigrants should by default understand their parents’ language is making me feel a bit like an idiot right now.

  130. zerowolf
    May 19th, 2010 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    MW: Doesn’t Dr. Jeff ever read the comics? If he did, he’d realize leaving the country as a way of dealing with an overbearing woman never works. Right, Eric Mills?

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