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Friday quickies

Apartment 3-G, 5/21/10

I’ve kind of disappointed that Margo still hasn’t gotten a handle on communicating effectively with Lu Ann, after all these years of living together. How could you say it any clearer? Well, you’ve got several two-syllable words and even a three-syllable one in there, and that “wouldn’t” introduces a tricky modal. Are you trying to give the poor girl a headache?

Family Circus, 5/21/10

“Or have you thrown yourself on the bed weeping because you’ve sired four hideous children, each dumber than the last? Is that it, daddy? Daddy? Is that why you’re crying?”

Spider-Man, 5/21/10

“But if it’s superhero-on-supervillain combat you want — it may not show under the mask — but I’m dumbfounded with terror, and will probably flee!”

Mark Trail, 5/21/10


392 responses to “Friday quickies”

  1. Eau de Plugger
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:07 am [Reply]

    Daddy Keane’s just depressed about Sassy…or maybe it’s the fact that his bedroom has twin beds.

  2. Pozzo
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    A chilly morning at 3-G, as Ice Queen Margo flexes her powers. Up next, feasting on the souls of puppies. Then Bingo. All work and no play, after all…

  3. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    9CL – “And then we spent all night in one position or another. Man, that guy just never quit! Incidentally, he measured…”
    “Grandma, that’s disgusting! Too much information!”
    “Okay, okay, fair enough. Well, then Humphrey Bogart came back, dragging Peter Lorre by his ear, and told Claude Rains…”

    Crank – See, this is humorous exaggeration. Where one cartoonist might make a day of it, Batiuk humorously exaggerates it to a week or so.

    Dennis – This better not be headed where it sounds like it’s headed, Dennis. She’s old enough to be your mom, for cryin’ out loud!

    Mark – Cheer up, Rusty! He’ll help her, THEN bury her!

    Mutts – Looks like a special guest appearance from Sassy, doin’ her flat act by the road.

  4. Sue D. Nymme
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    On the wall of Daddy Keane’s bedroom are scores of child-rearing books. None of them helped.

  5. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    ps to my Facebook friends: Sorry I had to do it, but when Facebook made Feed Filter stop fixing the “Top News” default and expanding comment threads, it was the last straw. I was dealing with the rapacious selling of personal information by not giving them any, but they wouldn’t even tolerate letting me have a degree of convenience in using their service. I’ll miss everybody. I saw one comment before I finished the process of quitting. (“Are you sure you want to quit? If you quit, you can’t read your posts any more. Are you positive you’re sure? You won’t be able to play those games any more. You really want to quit? Okay, here’s a WV. Sorry, can’t read that. Here’s another. Press OK if you really, really want to quit. … Okay, then. But if you ever want to come back, your account will still be there.”)

  6. Pippy
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    It would be awesome if next time spider-man takes off his mask his head has become all ears.He wouldn’t be able to watch television any more.

  7. Shawn S.
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    FC: Daddy Keane has finally caught Jeffy and Mommy in the act. Daddy won’t be leaving that bed for a long, long time.

    SM: Will this be an endless cycle of Sabretooth looking for Spider-Man, knocking him out, and then running away laughing? Signs point to yes.

  8. Digger
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    MT: Right now Andy is thinking “Okay, I’ve done all I can do here. Can I go now? There’s a poker game on down at the bar I’d like to get in on. A bunch of dogs playing cards. Hey, what a great idea for a painting!”

    FC: As much as we all like to make fun of Bil, you can’t knock him for his fashion sense. Light blue socks that match his shirt? Snazzy!

  9. Mumblix Grumph
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    Oh Lord…I really hope that the veterinarian doesn’t have sideburns or a mustache or else Mark will beat the crap out of him before he can save Sassy. Seriously, I can not take a two-week long dog funeral plot.

  10. Patrick
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    “If it’s talking you want, they may not show under the mask, but I’m ALL EARS!”

    “If it’s sweet, sweet love you want, it might not show under the tights, but I’m all…”

    Heart, people! HEART!

  11. Edgy DC
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Wait a minute, Mark. I’m sorry, I’m slow, and this is all just coming clear to me. Your dog is a tracker. Your trusty, loyal, born-to-help dog is a TRACKER. And as this boy — the care of whom is your responsiblitity — has been crying about his lost (without tags, yet) puppy, you’ve puttered about with chores while waxing on with platitudes about being home for dinner. Any suburban shlump would have chased that puppy and you — our model man of action with the perfect means to help — did nothing. You cruel, sick fuck.

  12. Darkefang
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    9CL: Hey mom, thanks for describing your sex with Kiesl in such graphic detail. Also, thanks for the nightmare that I’m going to have every night for the rest of my life.

  13. Sed
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    “Dog Funeral Plot” would make for a great band name, you know.

  14. survivor
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    Dolly asks a legitimate question. When Daddy is under the weather, he is sick. When Daddy is flying over the weather, he is high.

  15. TheDiva
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: “Ignore the bear trap; that’s for my dad.”

    Curtis: Okay, I’m calling it: the parents were dancing at their wedding reception, probably something silly like the Macarena or the Funky Chicken. Question is: will we get a quick resolution tomorrow or drag out the “suspense” for another full week?

    DT: What, no private comment from Johnny Nothing about how there will be bullets flying again? Or is that too obvious even for him?

    FW: I’m having a hard time deciding whether or not the Love Triangle of Despair irritates me more than Lizthony. It’s like trying to figure out whether boiling in oil would be more or less painful than being burned alive.

    Luann: “Yeah, and he totally made up this phony group he was supposed to be speaking on behalf of…GLBTA, what the Hell is that supposed to mean?”

    MW: So the remaining three weeks of the plotline will be Mary patting herself on the back. Good to know I won’t miss much when I’m on vacation.

  16. curlyfries
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    @Patrick (#10): No kidding – it’s pretty clear from the explicit crotch shot last week that Spidey is all heart in that department. Which really wrecks my theory about why Peter Parker seems to have chronically insufficient blood flow to the head. BIG head, people.

  17. bats :[
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    FC: I thought that maybe Daddy was a little distraught by discovering his attempt at a contemplative, ascetic lifestyle (aka, “The Worthian Ideal”) had been compromised by houseful of meaningless, material goods (bookshelves! lamps! chairs! books!), but then I realized that only a few minutes earlier, he’d had a little visitor

  18. LaziestManOnMars
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    Big Daddy Keane wakes up, hearing Dolly’s voice and thinks: “I’m still alive? Next time more vicodin and more booze. Oh sweet sweet death, why must you elude me…”

  19. curlyfries
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#17): Gaaah!! Why do I click on those, whywhywhywhy? I really long for the day when someone finally impresses on that sawed-off little sonofabitch that it’s impolite to point.

  20. boojum
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    Hey, bats :[ — Reading back through the last few mash-ups to see if I had missed one, and lo! I am credited in a freakin’ bats:[ mash-up! I have never been so cool, even by association.

    Internet drinks are on me, everybody!!

  21. boojum
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    Can I put on my resumé that I have appeared in Ant Man and the Thoraces?

  22. anon
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    MT: I don’t like this storyline at all, and I don’t think you can say anything ‘funny’ about a dog hit by a car.

    BTW the ‘finest French wine’ is NOT ‘delicious’. It’s thin and sour, and you don’t guzzle it down all on its own, like beer or Mai Tais or chardonnay.

  23. LowerHorn
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    If that was truly “a chilly morning at 3-G”, then panel two would have been way better.

  24. mvg
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Eau de Plugger (1): “Daddy Keane’s just depressed about Sassy…or maybe it’s the fact that his bedroom has twin beds.”

    I’d expect him to be more depressed about the prospect of how much better his life would be if they’d gotten the twin beds SOONER — say, 7-8 years ago.

    GA: In the grand tradition of MTM’s Chuckles the Clown, we can only hope she’s in for a good shucking.

    9CL: OK, so granny was ready to not merely get shtupped 6 ways to Sunday but to actually marry this guy, & yet she still refers to him as “Kiesl,” not “Peter”?

    MARY: “Sometimes people get into a bad living situation without realizing it.”
    JEFF: “We’re all so lucky to have you here, Mary, to point out to us when we’ve done that.” (Don’t think about putting the shrimp fork in her eye. She can hear your thoughts. Think happy thoughts. Happy thoughts! Don’t want to end up in the cornfield. Happy thoughts!)

    MC: Uhm, they’re both DOGS. Bathing properly would consist of a bunch of licking. Just like in Family Circus.

  25. Dragon of Life
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    When confronted with Crying Rusty, even Mark Trail’s eyes attempt to retreat into his skull.

    Also: Why is Dolly asking that question while pointing at her father’s butt? Is the ‘weather’ actually “the brown rain”, 1.4 hours of constant diarrhea?

  26. Ned Ryerson
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Friends, Poachers, naturalists, lend me your ears;
    I come to bury Sassy, not to deworm her;

  27. professor fate
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    FW: 1. continuing the lame plot devices it’s obvious that she didn’t try and recharge the phone. 2. Okay – take your daughter’s bat and go ‘have a talk’ with Les. You know where he’ll be – at the town’s only pizzia joint.

    9CL: With this story line even when something seems to be happening you know nothing is really happening. And no, they are not going to have sex, she simply going to say “yes” over and over again all night.

    MW: “Mary, I think our coversations would sound more natural if you didn’t write out what I have to say in advance.” I also see they ordered tonights special – gray slop with peas.

  28. Bill the Butcher
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Ohhhhhh…I misread Luann’s balloon as saying “Jack is expecting meat at the gallery today.”

    What the hell – I’ll stick to my version. It opens all kinds of possibilities.

  29. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:35 am [Reply]

  30. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    MW: Wow. Just how drunk is Jeff?

    Curtis: With each passing day, I become more convinced that it wasn’t a homemade porn tape.

    MT: Is… is that remorse on Mark’s face? Could he possibly be sorry that his irresponsibility led to terrible pain for two of the companions—canine and human—in his life? Hahahahahahahah! Of course not! By the end of this plot, though, Rusty will have learned a valuable lesson: always listen to Mark when he tells you that your loose, un-tagged puppy who’s been hit by a car is actually all right.

    DtM: Alice, just wait until Dennis tells Henry about what you’ve been doing with your new special friend and her strong, agile tongue.

  31. Push Trot
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    H&J: Herb is clearly yelling his remark because he wants to be sure the homeless man can hear it. I hope that for every time he goes out of his way to make someone living on the street feel worse about their life, that person wins the lottery. Or that he’ll run into one of those stabbing hobos I’ve been hearing about.

    Crankshaft: What the Hell?

    Mary Worth: Look at the level of contempt in that waiter’s eyes! Perhaps we’ve stumbled upon the only person in the Worthiverse who sees Mary as she really is. At least in her human form.

    Phantom: Aargh! Testosterone … overload …

  32. wocket
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    Are you trying to give the poor girl a headache?

    Josh, honey, have you forgotten who you’re talking to, here? She’s Margo. She’s not trying to give LuAnn a headache so much as a fatal stroke.

  33. Push Trot
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:46 am [Reply]

  34. McManx
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail — “Dry those tears Rusty. I wouldn’t worry about anyone burying Sassy. Let me tell you about the important role carrion birds play in the environment…”

    Family Circus — No Dolly. Daddy was watching a little afternoon porn but forgot to lock the door. He’s waiting for you to give up and wander out so he can roll over and finish before Mommy comes home.

    Blondie — Famous for his gluttony, Mr. Bumstead is now reduced to eating dog treats. I guess that would now make him “Dogwood.”

  35. Bill the Butcher
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    @Push Trot (#31):

    Look at the expression in whatsisname’s face in the second panel. He’s so terrified that if he can’t keep Mary happy she’s going to lean over the table and throw some of her help in his face. (Compared to which battery acid would be welcome)

  36. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    @McManx (#34): That bleak, staring-into-the-endless-void expression is Daddy Keane’s sex face? Yeah, considering the usual result of his orgasms, I guess that makes sense.

  37. Comcis Fan
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    MW: Who will show Mary that there’s hope for a better way to prepare and consume food, that one need not get into a bad eating situation involving beige slop without realizing it? No doubt a kind offer to help from the guy in the Masters golf jacket will in itself be a tremendous aid to her. He has ordered the same fare as a show of empathy, and a martini to steel himself for the intervention.

    Pickles: I like it. Was similarly amused when “Baby Blues” all too briefly had a child character who lived with her great-grandmother and used phrases like “My stars!” and “Land o’ Goshen!” She was very funny, should make a return visit.

    Hi and Lois: Chip must be hanging out with Jeremy from “Zits.”

  38. Calico
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    Rusty, stop crying! You know you’re not in Funky Winkerbean.

    Curtis – what is on that tape? Girls gone wild? A pie eating contest? A meddle encounter with Mary Worth?

  39. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    bebeh otters are stackable. Who knew?

  40. Push Trot
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#15): Hey, leave off Johnny Nothing! The poor guys exhausted from coming up with witty bon mots for – what is it now, four weeks straight? He’ll probably bounce right back tomorrow.
    If he had been up to it today, hovewer, another possibility would have been: “I have noticed that Dick Tracy is a complete arse!”

  41. Calico
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#37):
    I don’t have (human) kids, but when I was a teen I couldn’t believe how much food skinny, active teen boys could pack in.
    At Parents’ weekend at the boarding school I attended, my parents watched in awe as the young men kept going back for seconds, then thirds. More and more, endless glasses of milk, then dessert.
    We were all very active physically in addition to studying (and yes, some partying), ate and ate, and never gained weight. These days, if only…!

  42. The Dead Acorn
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    MT: Given the perspective in panel 1, Andy is about three miles away from Mark, which would explain why he lost her fucking trail.

  43. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    S-M: “So let’s have a cup of Lemon Zinger and sit down for a good old fashioned heart-to-heart.”

    MW: “That was a good thing you did, Mary. Wishing Bonnie into the cornfield? That was a real good thing you did.”

    SFx: Bob Weber Jr has been looking at old William Hogarth prints, hasn’t he?

    9CL: Ah, what would we do without Brooke McEldowney and his doubile entendres. Anyway, stay tuned next week when the fuck-hands are capped off with simultaneous stiff-arm salutes.

    BB: Nonono, Beetle. When you walk into Sarge’s office, the pillow should go under your knees.

    H&L: Chip is abusing his Lantern priveleges. A power ring is not a toy, son.

    Garfield: I don’t know why you’d want pictures of your own uvula for a dateless night. What’s more, I don’t want to know. Seriously.

    DtM: Ha! 20-year-old Alice cozies up to that lesbian professor for a better grade, and it follows her around for the rest of her life. Loose lips sink ships, even if they also get you an A.

  44. jdinan8271
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    GA: You’re right — the occasional virgin sacrifice would make this strip a lot better

    MT: Jazz hands and Phil Mickelson’s Masters jacket — the perfect day for Jeff

  45. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled: Re-Dennis: I see sick great minds think alike.

  46. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    bb, u at #30 I mean.

  47. Sans Sense
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    MW: Dr. Jeff is working furiously on spells of deflection. “That’s right demon-spawn, focus on your neighbor not me…”

  48. mav
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    Curtis – I’m actually digging the Curtis storyline. Sure, it will turn out that they’re not actually watching a sex tape of their parents, but the fact is that Billingsley is totally selling that idea. Focus on that–he has devoted an entire week to the idea that Greg and Diane videotaped themselves getting busy, even if it appears to be an obvious red herring. And got it in print. Plus, the visuals today were great.

    OBH – Speaking of visuals, the art in OBH today is priceless, especially Joe’s face in panel 3.

  49. Sans Sense
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    FC: It’s “over” as in hungOVER you shrill little noise box. Christ! Why don’t these doors have locks?

  50. blackgoat
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    MT: I don’t know which bothers me more: Mark’s callous indifference, first to Rusty’s anxiety, and now grief, over his missing pet, or “Doc” who, oblivious to the unconscious state of the dog before him, is going to take x-rays to see if her leg is broken.

  51. bats :[
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    @mvg (#24): re 9CL: she refers to him as Kiesl because Peter, you know, sounds, um, sounds dirty. (tee hee /Brookeian sophomoricism)

    @Bill the Butcher (#28): works for me!

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#39): they’re kinda like Pringles that way.

  52. Gary
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    I’m surprised Panel 3 of Mark Trail doesn’t read “…but given the economy and the fact that we live in these backwoods, more likely some hungry person took her home and ate her.”

  53. Nekrotzar
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    If it’s talking you want, they may not show under the mask, but I’m ALL EARS! With nothing in between to dampen the echo!

  54. Sans Sense
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    MW: It looks like Mary ordered the whole pancreas. She must be famished!

  55. Calico
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    It must be Pac-Man’s anniversary – has a crazy PM logo today – with that annoyingly nostalgic sound!
    (Scared the crap out of me-I wasn’t expecting the “music”!)

  56. Calico
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @Sans Sense (#49):
    Comment of the Week nom!
    I’ll bet those little urchins sound a bit like Pac Man when they drivel on and on.

  57. Calico
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    OMG it actually works!
    No, I’m not talking about Snuffy.

  58. Sans Sense
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    A3G: Wow, Margo’s on a tear! In panel two her gesture is disparaging the size of Jack’s manhood. When she’s on a roll she can multinsult.

  59. Sans Sense
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    DtM: This is a refrigerator cutout for those with a mature lesbian porn fetish. And by those I mean me.

  60. Sans Sense
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    MT: “There, there Rusty. Sometimes burying is helping…when Sassie’s all squished and dead and stuff.”

  61. Sans Sense
    May 21st, 2010 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: More like “Ghost Who Talks”. Get on with the action already!

  62. Steve S
    May 21st, 2010 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    Poor Lu Ann is actually reaching out by asking Margo for help with the meaning of the word “that.” Too bad Margo took it as an affront, but she would have taken anything short of “All hail Queen Margo” as an affront.

  63. Sans Sense
    May 21st, 2010 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: In Panel One Bea’s look of fear shows she obviously recognizes that Brook is a fembot with both barrels aimed at her.

  64. Flummoxicated
    May 21st, 2010 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    It’s a good thing that Mark Trail’s core audience isn’t comprised of six year olds. Not because of the disturbing “cute puppy run over by car” plot, but because of Rusty’s horrifying, tear encrusted visage in panel three. Think of the childhood nightmares that would spawn! Won’t someone please think of the children!

  65. dale
    May 21st, 2010 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Family Simple

    I can’t get past the part where Daddy Dumbshit has his glasses lying next to him on the bed. Not a joke to those of us who have been wearing glasses for over 50 years (elapsed time).

    Hi & Lois

    Close the damn door!
    Especially if you know you’re going to drink the whole thing.

  66. ignatz
    May 21st, 2010 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    Poor Dick Tracy thinks those are real guns when they are obviously flat drawings on some countertop linoleum.

  67. Mibbitmaker
    May 21st, 2010 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Yes, they’re fighting over a guy. Score one for the ladies! (oop — sarcasm levels… break down… again!)

    BBlues: Can you find a female black cat and a can of white paint, Pasquale?

    Curtis: Next time on Arrested Development

    Garfield: Forget that, Jon — you should see Babs’s uvula…

    GF: “Steve” doesn’t even believe he’s in a comic strip. And he thinks cats and dogs can actually talk, and converse with their owners, too

    HotC: Be careful…. if you look too close at the wormhole, you could get
    HYP-MO-TAHZED! [*]

    MT: As I said in the last “Not-Quite-Spoilers”:
    The shameless manipulation — it burns!

    Marm: He should be booing Mark Trail.

    MW: Here it is: The stilted self-congratulations-fest is upon us! Commence nausea…

    S4th, panel 2: Good, Sal. Now go “AAAAAAYYY!”, or maybe, “Sit on it, Ralph!”

    S-M: He’s not, however, all brain. Or even partly.

    ZtP: potrzebie
    (well, ya didn’t expect me not to do that, didja?)

    Zits: Christ, what an asshole. Even for him!

  68. Sans Sense
    May 21st, 2010 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#38): Is Funky Winkerbean like the Gulag of Comics Land? I just see the guy in the big keyholed hot box in Crock saying, “Things would be worse in the Funkyverse.”

  69. Sequitur
    May 21st, 2010 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    So here I am, in bed, medicated, recovering from oral surgery. I’ve got my laptop and I’m reading the comics and I come across Blondie and I’m thinking, you know, that Blondie is a good lookin’ chick. I wonder if she and I… And then it struck me. Since this is “Quickie Friday” we would could play a game! The game is WITH WHAT COMIC STRIP CHARACTER WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO BED?

    How ’bout it? Gals, is it Sam Driver? Mark Trail? Snuffy Smith?
    Guys, is it June Morgan? Lois Flagstone? Olive Oyl?
    (Gays can flip-flop the choices)
    The possibilities are nearly endless!

    I know you’re thinking it! Give it a try! And furries are okay so My Cage is fair game. Give it your best shot!
    (Did I mention I’m hopped up on pain killers?)

  70. Sans Sense
    May 21st, 2010 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#67): Completely agree on Zits. Apparently his “friends” think he’s an asshat too by canceling last minute and changing venue. What bugs me about Zits is that it’s distilled teen douchebaggery without any of the good parts and unlike real life, HE NEVER GROWS OUT OF IT!

  71. NicheCartoons
    May 21st, 2010 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    Daddy Keane is just sad that he’s been kicked out of the bedroom and into the office again.

  72. curlyfries
    May 21st, 2010 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#69): Without committing to swinging either way, is it OK to say I’d go to bed with Les just so I could have the pleasure of tying him up and smothering him to death with a pillow? (I have no intention of letting him die with a smile on his fatuous face or making him happy in any other way, believe me.) And it would actually be a kindness since he’s due to come down with cancer in a few years anyhow.
    And if anyone thinks this is weird, well…um, I’m on pain killers, too. No, really, true story.

  73. boojum
    May 21st, 2010 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: Wow. Ron Jeremy’s syphilis (presumed! allegedly!) must have entered the dementia stages, because he is totally buying the Phantom’s bullshit. If he were as cool as he’s always claimed, he’d mess with this guy’s head.

    “You won’t shoot! You’re afraid it would reveal me as the one you fear!”

    “Sorry — come again?” (Ron Jeremy loves this joke.)

    “I believe you already know who I am!”

    “Well, you’re flat wrong, buddy-ro. You couldn’t be more wrong if your ass was on backwards. Which, now that you mention it, it does kinda look—”

    “Foolish mortal! I have walked the earth for centuries…..”

    “Oh, God. Don’t tell me you’re one of those damn Twilight freaks. Where’s your sparkly body glitter?”

    “What the fu— ?!?”

    “Wait – they let whiny little emo vampires work for the FBI now? Jesus—”

    “I am NOT a vampire! And I am NOT WITH THE FBI!! I am wearing a purple body suit, silver retro Oakleys, and turquoise striped granny panties!! WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING I’M WITH THE FBI!??)

    “Dude. Whatevs.”

  74. Sans Sense
    May 21st, 2010 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    SF: Why is Sally wearing a powder blue tuxedo shirt? Is it prom? In 1977?

  75. Fashion Police
    May 21st, 2010 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    We have gotten to the point where another hideous ensemble from the Dr. Jeff Cory collection is barely worth mentioning. We cannot help but hope that Misses Thompson and Magee and poor Mrs. Powers will someday shed their dreary togs for something with a little style. We have no similar hopes for Dr. Cory. Nor do we care.

  76. Sequitur
    May 21st, 2010 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#72): Smirkicide!

  77. Very Little Known
    May 21st, 2010 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    Oh the drama! Luann from Luann and Lu Ann from Apartment 3-G find themselves caught between the men in their lives and the jealous females who…oh never mind, I’ve lost interest in the nonsense already. Unless Margot managed to keep her mother’s handgun…

  78. boojum
    May 21st, 2010 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#69): Sorry, Sequitur. Whenever I see a post that starts, “So here I am in bed, medicated…” and see the word ‘laptop,’ I just naturally assume it’s some kind of porno spam.

    On an unrelated note — did you know that nothing happens when you click on your name, there? No matter how many times you try?

  79. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 21st, 2010 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#69): I’m not a furry or nothin’, but Ashley kicks ass! ;-)

  80. The TJ
    May 21st, 2010 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    Rusty isn’t crying, he was just so hardened by this experience that while Mark’s back was turned he gave himself a teardrop tattoo. Oh wait, there are two tears… I guess one of them is him actually crying then.

  81. Ego, Fellatio & Howe, Law Firm for Brooke McEldowney
    May 21st, 2010 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#149):

    Bring it, shyster.

    Oh — It’s ON, beyatch!

  82. commodorejohn
    May 21st, 2010 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#79): I am, after a fashion, and yeah. Not sure if I could live with the day-to-day crazy, but…as the infamous Tales Of Phantasia fan-translation had it, “I bet [she] fucks like a tiger!”

    Agnes – “Transcendental terrorist?” Oh man, now I have a new thing I want to be when I grow up.

    Bizarro – What a coincidence; this comic makes me unlaugh.

    BlC – Today’s Bloom County is a rare thing: a strip that’s both funnier and less funny in retrospect.

    Crankshaft – Since Batiuk normally eschews such low-brow things as cartoons and humor, I assume that the seemingly comical bear trap is actually a fully-functional serrated spring trap, and is only present for the purpose of mangling someone’s limb. Should be fun.

    Curtis – If there’s a last strip on Saturday that does the expected twist of having it not have been a sex tape after all, I preemptively declare it non-canon. I know it’s a bit presumptuous of me, but dammit, someone has to do it.

    DT – Nothing grips the reader’s attention quite like…characters standing around talking about allegedly exciting things that happened at some point in the distant past.

    FW – Why is it that the African-American women in this strip look like dudes half the time?

    Garfield – I did not initially read that as “uvula.” Some days I really, really regret being a speed-reader.

    JP – And there’s Sam, as smugly bemused as ever. “And if his shoes don’t work out, he’s facing financial ruin! Heh heh, can you believe that?”

    MT – Oh, I am savoring each and every panel of this storyline.

    MW – Vincent Price!?

    MC – Violet’s wide-eyed, earnest smile is the most contextually unsettling thing I’ve seen this week.

    The Norm – Chilling.

    OBH – So is there something in the water, or what?


    Popeye – Pff, Olive could fit through that with room to spare.

    SF – I love this strip.

    SFx – Slylock Fox: giving you the pet-ownership advice that Mark Trail didn’t!

    WoI – Goodness, they’re really trying to make a go of this “medieval-themed humor” thing, aren’t they?

  83. Black Drazon
    May 21st, 2010 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    I just wanted to point out that this is a reused Family Circus art (not punchline, I think, but I’m only familiar with it from Scott Meets The Family Circus) from not decades ago, not years ago, but somewhere in the territory of “months ago”. I know it goes without saying, but they’re just not trying.

    Meanwhile, Rusty’s sinuses have split open in a desperate attempt to absorb nitrogen from the air. Damn! he thinks. If I have to spend any longer in this human suit, I’ll suffocate! Can’t we just eat the other dog and go home?

  84. Sequitur
    May 21st, 2010 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#78): Try it now.

  85. Fashion Police
    May 21st, 2010 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @Sans Sense (#74):

    Why is Sally wearing a powder blue tuxedo shirt?

    One suspects that, tired of her own tawdry wardrobe, she raided Mr. Forth’s closet.

  86. Silvermink
    May 21st, 2010 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    Wow. Rusty even cries bizarrely, with one neat droplet directly beneath each eye. At the same level, even.

  87. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 21st, 2010 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#72): Wait, this can be mean sex? Well, then. I choose Mark Trail. After I totally rock his world in such a way that he’s a completely changed man, mentally, physically, and justice-ly, when he comes begging for more—as he inevitably will—I’ll just laugh in a callous, bold-faced way, and while walking away, I’ll say, “Maybe Andy can track this for you, asshole.”

  88. Poteet
    May 21st, 2010 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    9CL — Given subsequent history, I realize it’s hopeless to wish that Bill the Deranged Turdball would throw himself off a bridge when he hears that Eva is engaged to another man, that Eva would become a heavily-drinking divorced prostitute in Vienna, and that Kiesl would eventually be found and shot by a former German prisoner bent on revenge for leaked information. But I can dream.

    MT — Mark, the outdoor writers I know are responsible animal owners, and you are a total douche bag.

  89. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 21st, 2010 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    @Silvermink (#86): (;_;) haz a picture naow.

  90. boojum
    May 21st, 2010 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#84): Wait, wait — YOU’RE bats:[ ?!?

    boojum confused

  91. boojum
    May 21st, 2010 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    Sooo — Who am I??

  92. Sequitur
    May 21st, 2010 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#90): Nope. Just a bats :[ fan dispensing free publicity.

    @boojum (#91): You be boo, jum.

  93. Joe the Plugger
    May 21st, 2010 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    9CL: I just checked and this flashback has been going on since Nov. 16, 2009. Anyone think it will be wrapped up before 2011? Anyone know if this has been going on longer than the 9CL Belgium Experience?

  94. Poteet
    May 21st, 2010 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#69): You’re recovering from oral surgery and you’re typing coherently? Wow. When that was me, I spent a few hours moaning and trying to focus my eyes.

    As for your question, I’ll remove Cousin Stevie from the equation, since we’re being so theoretical. That leaves, um…let’s see…gack…ick…yuck…no way…eww…gross…fuhgedaboudit…

    The list of prospects leaves me moaning and trying to focus my eyes.

  95. Joe the Plugger
    May 21st, 2010 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    Beginning of 9CL flashback

    Reposting the link because for some reason it didn’t go the last time.

  96. commodorejohn
    May 21st, 2010 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @Joe the Plugger (#93): Believe it or not, the Belgium arc (or at least the core of it) only lasted from about November 2008 to January 2009, which means that this flashback has been going on for somewhere around three times as long.

  97. Sequitur
    May 21st, 2010 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#94): I’m sorry. What’d you say? I’m moaning and trying to focus my eyes.

  98. bats :[
    May 21st, 2010 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    I was at the Post Office this morning, still throwing money at the organization, when I noticed that in July, the “Sunday Funnies” will appear in stamp form. Well, I like 20% of the choices…

  99. Sequitur
    May 21st, 2010 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#98): Ah! Must be Calvin and Hobbes. The others are not bats:[worthy.

  100. Joe the Plugger
    May 21st, 2010 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#96):

    I think in the future, time in the 9CL universe should be measured in units of Belgium.

  101. Sequitur
    May 21st, 2010 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    I haz cumpooter now!

  102. Sequitur
    May 21st, 2010 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    Oops. My kitty just walked across the laptop.

  103. LP2004
    May 21st, 2010 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @Joe the Plugger (#100): The word ‘Belgium’, of course, being viewed in the Douglas Adams/Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy fashion…

  104. Mibbitmaker
    May 21st, 2010 at 2:16 pm [Reply]


    A3G: “All About Eve”. I can say no more.

    Curtis: Disappointed but not surprised, etc. etc. (Yes, next week continues the story arc)

    FW: Not Near-Miss-a-Palooza-like, really, but, in every other way, next week is this week redux! I really hate all the characters. (Warning: more helpings of People Silently Spying Stuff scenes)

    The good news: There’s more Bonnie Johnson story, not such a hasty retreat yet.
    The bad news: There’s more Bonnie Johnson story.

    MT: More of “The Wacky Adventures of Sassy Trail, Dog Idiot”. Really, the snark keeps writing itself next week. Hell, I had to pre-write my MT comments for next week today! Today’s maudlin abuse aside, next week (esp. Thurs-Saturday) is more hysterically funny than any of the “humor” strips actually trying to be funny.

  105. Sequitur
    May 21st, 2010 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    @Joe the Plugger (#100): We’ll get Thorax working on that right away.

  106. mustang
    May 21st, 2010 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    MT – Oh look! Mark is attempting to reproduce a “sad face”, something he’s noted in other humans many times, but never quite understood.

  107. Walker of Dog
    May 21st, 2010 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    @Pippy (#6): “And despite whatever stock-stuffing rumors you’ve heard, under my spandex pants, I’m all man! (plus some extra spider parts)

    @Bill the Butcher (#Y198): Which day did Bonnie look like your ex-wife? Because at this point, she has looked like pretty much everyone.

  108. mustang
    May 21st, 2010 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#69): My God. You ARE medicated.

  109. Melch Melch
    May 21st, 2010 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    Rusty is a stone cold thug with his twin tears and tight lipped remorse (is his mouth even moving?) And the line “I hope it was to help her instead of bury her” could be totally be of those little epigraphs they put at the beginning of episodes of The Wire.

  110. mustang
    May 21st, 2010 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    Shoot. Does Sassy have a collar with an i.d. tag? Or does Mark think that would be too unnatural?

  111. Molly
    May 21st, 2010 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    That dog in Mark Trail looks like he’s sniffing around in panel one, and then taking a leak in panel two. It’s all natural.

  112. bats :[
    May 21st, 2010 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

  113. BRWombat
    May 21st, 2010 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    Mark’s neutral expression is the result of competing emotions: sympathy, of a sort, with Rusty’s tears, and excitement at the prospect of comforting him. Oh yes, there will be comforting.

  114. Poteet
    May 21st, 2010 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#102): Awww. Give petz.

  115. mustang
    May 21st, 2010 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

  116. Steve S
    May 21st, 2010 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    Given how far up in the backwoods Mark lives, consumption would be much more likely than burial for roadkill. Have some Sassy stew, Rusty!

  117. Poteet
    May 21st, 2010 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    MW — Part of Mary’s contract is that she gets to write all the dialogue. Part of Jeff’s contract is that he gets a large supply of Ganeshas Dream each week and can keep it in the green room.

  118. Poteet
    May 21st, 2010 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    SLYLOCK, I think I love you.

  119. Poteet
    May 21st, 2010 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#69): Okay, I confess. I’d do Max the Mouse, and I’d rock his world.

  120. Peanut Gallery
    May 21st, 2010 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth – For those of you who were wondering what’s on the Bum Boat menu: Cheez-Its® with mashed potatoes! Yum! And in panel 2, how appropriate that the decor features Big Mouth Billy Bass®.

  121. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    May 21st, 2010 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#88): Eva becoming a heavily-drinking divorced prostitute in Vienna, or eventually getting married to Thorax. 6 of 1, a half-dozen of another, I say.

  122. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    May 21st, 2010 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#82): re Curtis — Curtis’s dad is soooo cheap… how the hell did he end up with a camcorder, anyway?

  123. tb4000
    May 21st, 2010 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    MT: I feel bad for poor Sassy, but apparently it’s gotten to Rusty so bad, the motherfucking is crying parallel tears. Not an easy feat by any means.

  124. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 21st, 2010 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#55): Did you click on the button that said “Insert Coin”? Puk puk puk puk puk…

    @mustang (#110): Rusty removed Sassy’s collar before attempting to give her a bath job. Normally, Mark can count on Rusty and Sassy staying close together, and therefore he tracks Sassy by locating the RFID chip in Rusty’s head.

  125. Sequitur
    May 21st, 2010 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#119): Be sure he removes his chapeau first. It’s impolite to hump with a hat.

  126. Sans Sense
    May 21st, 2010 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    GT: Cassie’s back in the game! Yes!

  127. Paddy
    May 21st, 2010 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    Judging by panel three it would appear Rusty is in fact a 47-year old Belarusian dwarf. Now don’t we all feel bad for making fun of him?

  128. Perky Bird
    May 21st, 2010 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    Boy, Mark, I don’t know how to break it to you, but I think that “Weeping Madonna” icon you’re showing off in that last panel is a fake.

  129. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 21st, 2010 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#125): au contraire, a hat should always be worn in such circumstances. “before you rassle, wrap that rascal!” ;-)

  130. Perky Bird
    May 21st, 2010 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    Isn’t a teardrop tattoo under the eye supposed to mean you’ve killed someone? If so, that’s an appropriate for Rusty’s freakish tears: one tattoo is for causing the events that lead to Sassy’s (possible) untimely demise, and the other is for killing any last semblance of fun and lightheartedness in this strip.

  131. Sequitur
    May 21st, 2010 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#129): Under normal circumstances I would agree. But we’re talking Max Mouse here. He would try to use his actual hat.

  132. Sequitur
    May 21st, 2010 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    She’s here! She’s there! She’s everywhere!

  133. Austria
    May 21st, 2010 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#69): I’m gonna say JulesFrance the Shoe Man just because I can’t think of anyone else.

    Arch: And that’s when Archie decided to beat Gay Kevin to the punch.

    Luann: That is a wonderful facial expression in the first panel. AND continuity with Bernice and Delta’s snarking? I approve.

    RMMD: Get back to Rex and Toots already, I want to snark over the inevitable homoerotic subtext.

    R=R: And in today’s Mark Trail, we’re going to take a look at the majestic dolphin! Bla bla bla communication bla bla bla mammalian birth bla bla bla blowholes bla bla. Fishing nets! SAVE THE DOLPHINS!!!
    *More information on dolphins can be found on the Internet.

  134. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 21st, 2010 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#131): I’m having this mental image of a cross between a hamster wheel and a Hitachi Magic Wand. o.O

  135. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 21st, 2010 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    Love Is: believing that the sun shines out of your partners ass. . . .

  136. Madame Incognita
    May 21st, 2010 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    Josh, you are a sick, sick man. The most evil man in the universe wouldn’t laugh at a boy crying over his dog, even if that boy happens to be hideously deformed through no fault of his own!

  137. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 21st, 2010 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

  138. Fashion Police
    May 21st, 2010 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    After long minutes of reflection, we have concluded that certain comics, including Mary Worth and Sally Forth, were never meant to undergo the Turner Classic Movies colorization ordeal. One might retail an shred of respect for Dr. Jeff Cory without the knowledge that he’s wearing an iridescent teal suit. Mr. Ted Forth’s ruffled shirt looks much nicer on Mrs. Forth in black and white.

  139. Calico
    May 21st, 2010 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#124):
    I sure did!
    Good times.
    I think Hammacher Schlemmer offers a Total Arcade game (full size) for around $4,000. I loved Asteroids, but think I’ll pass.

  140. Calico
    May 21st, 2010 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#129):
    Or, as Joe Cocker sang, “You can leave your hat on.”

  141. Sans Sense
    May 21st, 2010 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#138): You are definitely looking at that through rose colored glasses…

  142. Jasper
    May 21st, 2010 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    SM- Looks like Spidey’s web thrower is malfunctioning. Whats with that squiggly non-taut webbing. Looks like Sabretooth is just another gay superpower being (ornamental half-gloves) who is more interested in Spidey than taking a piece with MJ.

    MT – It doesn’t look like Andy is off the trail or given up yet. This is just a ploy of Mark’s to finally rid himself of that annoying dog that refuses to grow out of puppyhood. Next up . . . Rusty! The distant stare on Mark’s face in panel 3 is of him thinking “Why didn’t I just let that tide come in?” Rusty, the mutant that he is, cries from the center of his eyes and not the corners.

    MW – Mary is in such a state of meddling euphoria she doesn’t notice Jeff’s abnormally large thumb. The Bum Boat is serving up one of its populary specials- Slurry!!

  143. commodorejohn
    May 21st, 2010 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    @Madame Incognita (#136): I laughed. I laughed like a goddamn hyena. My only hope is that another car comes along while Rusty’s on the road and makes this story a twofer.

  144. curlyfries
    May 21st, 2010 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    @Ego, Fellatio & Howe, Law Firm for Brooke McEldowney (#81): Get in line, ambulance chaser. I got yer ex nihilo nil fit right here.

  145. curlyfries
    May 21st, 2010 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#87):

    Wait, this can be mean sex? Well, then. I choose Mark Trail. After I totally rock his world in such a way that he’s a completely changed man, mentally, physically, and justice-ly, when he comes begging for more—as he inevitably will—I’ll just laugh in a callous, bold-faced way, and while walking away, I’ll say, “Maybe Andy can track this for you, asshole.”

    Is that just a convoluted way of saying thatat some point you want to get fisted? Because the you-know-what of justice is that one part of Mark Trail that’s guaranteed to be hard.

  146. mustang
    May 21st, 2010 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#124): I feel so foolish. Of course. I remember. The bath. Is that device why Rusty’s head starts screaming like a siren and spinning around sometimes?

  147. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 21st, 2010 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#145): That was not even close to my meaning. Yipes!

  148. curlyfries
    May 21st, 2010 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    @Joe the Plugger (#100):

    I think in the future, time in the 9CL universe should be measured in units of Belgium.

    Well, since Flemish is one of the languages in Belgium, I think pretty much everything to do with 9CWL should be measured in units of phlegm.

  149. curlyfries
    May 21st, 2010 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#147): It does sort of give a bold new meaning to the phrase “Give ‘em the old one-two,” though, doesn’t it?

  150. Charterstoned
    May 21st, 2010 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    @Sed (#13): I would like to see a band named “Miri and the Grups.”

  151. SequelMan
    May 21st, 2010 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#69): OK, I’ll take the bait… Spook from the Wizard of Id… he may smell bad, but after all these years, he’d be damn grateful. Or… anyone from Snuffy Smiff… those thick floppy tongues. Oy.

  152. Charterstoned
    May 21st, 2010 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    MT – I haven’t been around for a while, and quite honestly, I don’t even know what’s going on in Mark Trail, except it seems that Sassy and a vehicle might have had some sort of altercation. Is the car okay?

  153. Charterstoned
    May 21st, 2010 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    MW – That’s not decor, it’s a flying fish and it’s headed striaght for Dr. Jeff’s left ear.

  154. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 21st, 2010 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    Mid-Atlanticon Eve Update: wossname and mooncattie are lost on their way to my house; I think I need to enlist Andy—or perhaps the Racoon Patrol!—to find them.

  155. gnome de blog
    May 21st, 2010 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#154): Oh, dear! Let’s hope no one removed their collars and ID tags. Or that they encountered a kindly farmer in bib overalls.

  156. Sequitur
    May 21st, 2010 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#154): Just open a bottle of Potato-Ade™. They’ll home right in.

  157. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    May 21st, 2010 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    @Charterstoned (#150): A TOS reference — not bad at all!

  158. Alison
    May 21st, 2010 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    I guess it’s because I’m a girl who was little in the 80s, but every time I see Lu Ann’s thick, swishy hair, all I can think of is a My Little Pony mane.

    I don’t know, I feel sorry for Rusty. Losing your pet is terrible. Mark, on the other hand, needs a good punch in the teeth, as per usual.

  159. Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
    May 21st, 2010 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    Collette once wrote, “The best lips to kiss are those that taste of tears.” Well, Mark, now’s your chance.

  160. Sans Sense
    May 21st, 2010 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#158): I see LuAnn and think “horse” too! I see Brad and think “Shrek”. I see TJ and think “Liberace”. I see Tony and think about Sequitur @69…

  161. Not Dead Eric
    May 21st, 2010 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    Lu Ann can speak with her mouth closed. Margo requires her lips. Lu Ann wins the mean bitch contest hands down. Yea Lu Ann!

  162. Sans Sense
    May 21st, 2010 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    @Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#159): Will Mark recite words from U2 songs to further lull Rusty…?

  163. Sans Sense
    May 21st, 2010 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    @Sans Sense (#160): Oh crap I got my Powers and DeGroots all a tangle. I still stick by my words though…

  164. Jamus The Bartender
    May 21st, 2010 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    yFOOB: “And in that moment , the cock did crow three times, when Michael denied Sister Elizabeth.”

  165. Jamus The Bartender
    May 21st, 2010 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: Showed Cassandra today’s strip about not letting cats and dogs run loose, she smirked and said, “He forgot to include bartenders”. =>.<= Ho, ho, ho….
    Oh, Bob Weber Jr. put up a Slylock Fox page on FB, here it is, some of you may have seen it already.!/pages/Slylock-Fox/124945217532466?ref=ts

    It came with a pricetag, however. Bob asked me to send my local papers a letter telling them how great Slylock Fox was and to pick it up. Considering the use i'd made of his creation, Cassandra Cat all these years, it seemed like a small price to pay. :)

  166. Jamus The Bartender
    May 21st, 2010 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Your life’s not a train wreck, Brook. A three car fender-bender at best. Now, Liz Patterson and all the boys who would not worship her, now THAT was a train wreck.

  167. Jamus The Bartender
    May 21st, 2010 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    MC: You are SO going to be changing diapers, Rex. Trust me on this one. I once had to change my niece’s diaper. Took me twenty minutes, but I did it. Sis The Bartender never let me do it again. Seems there’s some kind of time limit…

  168. Cindy in Maine
    May 21st, 2010 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

    Rusty always scares me… he scares me today too, because he is a 10-yr old with little mini shaved sideburns, jet black. But still… I feel bad for him today. I’ve had a rough day, so perhaps I am temporarily weakened.

  169. Zla'od
    May 21st, 2010 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

    # 69

    I’d like to commit adultery with

    Flo (Mrs. Andy Capp)
    Penny (Mrs. Alex Masterley)
    Laura (Mrs. Adam Newman)
    Clovia (Mrs. Slim Skinner)
    Dottie (Mrs. Marmaduke Hitler)

  170. Jamus The Bartender
    May 21st, 2010 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: I seem to recall Vito Corleone taking Luca Brasi under his wing under not dissimilar circumstances….

  171. Jamus The Bartender
    May 21st, 2010 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Me too, buddy, me too. * sniff* Don’t you worry, Sassy gonna be okay…..

  172. This Guy
    May 21st, 2010 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    JP: This is either the harrowing tale of a young man’s descent into madness, or a lot of pointless blather about shoes. Sadly, I think I know which one it is. As Bart Simpson said: “Speaking of shoes, I don’t care about shoes.”

    Sylvia: If there’s one thing that I love more than walls of text, it’s barely legible walls of text. (This could be a comment for this strip every day, probably.)

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#129): One of my friends, on the spur of the moment, came up with “If you think she’s funky, wrap up your monkey!”

    @Sequitur (#69): Can we include webcomics? ’cause Marigold from QC == yes, please!

  173. Jamus The Bartender
    May 21st, 2010 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    Dtm: Whoa….i’m SURE it’s had to have been said already, but how DID this one make it past the censors?
    Mom’s friend looks pretty hot, too…..:)

  174. Jamus The Bartender
    May 21st, 2010 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#69): That’s been pretty much the point of my Cat And The Curmudgeon stories for years, Sequitur. Get well soon :)

  175. gnome de blog
    May 21st, 2010 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    @Zla’od (#169):

    Miss Phelps. All that repression has to come out somewhere.

  176. Jamus The Bartender
    May 21st, 2010 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#119): You’d have to get past Melody Mouse, first. And she crazy.

  177. Charterstoned
    May 21st, 2010 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    MT – Today’s dialogue sounds vaguely like the lyrics to some country-western song.

  178. mr 12 oz can
    May 21st, 2010 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

    mark trail – how come a car hasnt come along and hit mark some highway traffic there that you can spot rabbit hair on the road . andy you deserve better
    mary worth – gawd dr jeff if you didnt go out to dinner without your green jacket would you turn into a pumpkin
    yes news – just received the ladder what a great album liked it on first listen still waiting delivery on chris squire fish out of water forgot who told me to get it im sure it will be good no one plays bass like squire

  179. Buck Ripsnort
    May 21st, 2010 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    OBH: Oddly enough, Dr Seuss already came up w/ this idea; worse, HIS pants were pale green! Although I imagine his expression was the same as that weird boy’s in the middle panel.

  180. Sheila Sternwell
    May 21st, 2010 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#Y195): On the Internet, nobody knows that you spank your shoes.

  181. Buck Ripsnort
    May 21st, 2010 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#85): Why not? He’s been raiding her closet for years.

  182. Sheila Sternwell
    May 21st, 2010 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#104): The good news: There’s more Bonnie Johnson story

    I just realized what a great porn name that is.

  183. Calico
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    @mr 12 oz can (#178):
    The Fish (not to be confused with Jon Fishman or Fish/Derek Dick) – Chris is one of the most amazing bass players ever!

  184. gnome de blog
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    @Buck Ripsnort (#181): Yeah, but he never comes out of the closet.

  185. Bob Weber Jr.
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    Hey, there’s a new Slylock Fox Facebook page. I was glad to see some members of the CC family already there! Hope to see more soon!

  186. Sequitur
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    @Bob Weber Jr. (#185): Hey, Bob. Looks like you got a Max Mouse fan over here.

  187. This Guy
    May 21st, 2010 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    @Sheila Sternwell (#182): As long as it’s Scottish porn, anyway. “‘Tis a bonnie johnson!”

  188. dale
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail

    Andy may be the smartest member of the Trail family, but how did he know he was supposed to be following Sassy rather than some rabbit?

  189. commodorejohn
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    @mr 12 oz can (#178): ‘Twas me – hope you enjoy it. CD or LP?

  190. Sequitur
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

  191. Beetle Bumstead
    May 21st, 2010 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    For obvious reasons we don’t see Rusty and Mark from the waist down.

  192. Sequitur
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#158):

    I guess it’s because I’m a girl who was little in the 80s, but every time I see Lu Ann’s thick, swishy hair, all I can think of is a My Little Pony mane.

    Oh, Alison. you did it now!

  193. Joe Btfsplk
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus – No, Dolly, Daddy just gets that way whenever he wears that exact outfit. Mommy really ought to hide it all away somewhere.

  194. Bob Weber Jr.
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#165):
    Thanks for the Slylock Fox Facebook plug!! But I never asked any visitors to write letters! Of course if they want to …

  195. mr 12 oz can
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#189): cd i also got patrick moraz and rick wakeman solo stuff . im really liking big generator but having trouble with tales of topagrapic oceans . i always kinda liked yes but just became a fanatic about them in last month crazy right p.s screw mark trail andy is the true star of that strip

  196. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    Mid-Atlanticon Eve Update: Mooncattie and wossname made it back across the river to my house. Two bottles of wine and three beers later—mooncattie had his first bourbon and liked it very much—more than Scotch (yes! USA! USA! USA!). wossname showed us all (we think) of her tattoos. Quite an evening—and looking forward to tomorrow!

  197. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    @mr 12 oz can (#195): You’re a Yes fan? Are you my high-school boyfriend?

  198. commodorejohn
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    @mr 12 oz can (#195): I should check into Moraz’s solo stuff; I loved what he did on Relayer. As for Tales From Topographic Oceans, well…it’s got some good stuff, but it really should’ve been a single album with shorter versions of the songs.

  199. mr 12 oz can
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    very good point like andy really listens to what that assclown mark says

  200. Jamus The Bartender
    May 21st, 2010 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    @Bob Weber Jr. (#194): I know. I was trying to spread the good word that is Slylock Fox. :)

  201. mr 12 oz can
    May 22nd, 2010 at 12:00 am [Reply]

    i hate to admit this but the first time i came to this site the first thing i said after reading all the stuff is i bet that buckysbourbangal is really interesti g . would have loved o be at the convention .p.s if cherry comes back from the beauty parlor with a different shirt its comic history

  202. mr 12 oz can
    May 22nd, 2010 at 12:06 am [Reply]

    its really sad people dont like the later yes . i think its tormato which was there downfall . but even though they play so great its only when jon anderson was singing was when the songs really kicked in big example close to the edge . p.s typical moy thinking every waiter has a mustache

  203. Farley's Revenge
    May 22nd, 2010 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    @Calico (#41): When our younger boy-kid went off to college, our grocery bill dropped $200/month. Both boy-kids could tuck the groceries away. We always knew when a growth spurt was imminent because they pretty much pulled a chair up the the fridge to graze constantly.

  204. Farley's Revenge
    May 22nd, 2010 at 12:41 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#69): Toggle, from Doonesbury.

  205. Poteet
    May 22nd, 2010 at 12:50 am [Reply]


    A3G — Next stop, JUDGE JUDY.

    JP — Isn’t it “obsession with footwear”? And as one of the few females who is indifferent to footwear, except for a few modcloth shoes previously featured on CC, I yawn in anticipation.

    S-M — Not to be a downer, but in a situation like this, mightn’t it be helpful if Spider-Man had, say, a gun? Or a ninja star? Or even a bow and arrow?

  206. Farley's Revenge
    May 22nd, 2010 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#205): I’m with you, Poteet. I’ve never understood the shoe thing. You would never see me wearing some of the foot torture devices I’ve seen foisted off on gullible shoppers.

  207. Poteet
    May 22nd, 2010 at 1:10 am [Reply]

    @Farley’s Revenge (#206): Well, I guess I should try to be fair. In JP, it’s not just a shoe thing. It’s also a boot thing. Zzzzzzz…

  208. Poteet
    May 22nd, 2010 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    5/23 9CL — Good lord. I thought all you Mudges who predicted this were just kidding.

  209. Mr. O'Malley
    May 22nd, 2010 at 1:34 am [Reply]

    9CL: Cue Johnny Otis.

  210. nomuse
    May 22nd, 2010 at 1:46 am [Reply]

    SM — “But if it’s talk you want, that’s all I do! (Well, that and watch TV.)”

  211. Bill the Butcher
    May 22nd, 2010 at 3:19 am [Reply]

    @Walker of Dog (#107):

    The day Mary was trying to force her to her knees…

  212. This Guy
    May 22nd, 2010 at 3:42 am [Reply]

    GT: “So we’re not going ahead with the pig’s blood thing?”

  213. Karmyn
    May 22nd, 2010 at 5:21 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft: Why is Pam freaking out about an ant in her kitchen? That’s nothing. Try stepping on a slug in the middle of the night in your kitchen while barefoot. Or discovering a spider roughly the size of a Buick in your shower.
    An ant is nothing. Wimp.

  214. Aleit
    May 22nd, 2010 at 5:23 am [Reply]

    @9CL It’s a terrible confession to make, but usually I quite enjoy the crazy hand sequences. Today, however, I keep trying to count those hands and make sense of that, and I fail. Also, shouldn’t men’s hands be, um, slightly different from women’s? Or is there some sinister thruth behind the fact that I can’t tell them apart?..

  215. professor fate
    May 22nd, 2010 at 6:22 am [Reply]

    9CL: “and then our hands had sex.”

    MW: Tune in tomorrow as Mary and what’s his name discuss the importance of dental hygine.

    FW: So he does have a front door. So what was with the sneaking in the side door with the bubbly? Ah well. Consitancy must be sacrficed at the altar of writing.

    My Cage: Could we learn a bit more about the reading hitman?

  216. TruthOfAngels
    May 22nd, 2010 at 6:51 am [Reply]

    Trail, in one of his more heroic moments, is pondering whether punching God would help.

    In his most heroic moment, he will punch God anyway, just to make Him cry like a little girl.

  217. Push Trot
    May 22nd, 2010 at 7:07 am [Reply]

    @Karmyn (#213): Exactly! That’s what I was trying to get at in cmt. 31. Ants are at the bottom of household pests. I think the list goes something like this:
    Rats: Sewer dwelling, bubonic plague-carrying, thieving bastards.
    Mice: Filthy and thieving, but cute.
    Flies: Noisy and filthy. They’ve probably flown from a dustbin or some doggie *** straight to your kitchen.
    Spiders: Silent, evil predators. We all know that if they were the size of dogs, the human race would have been tied up and eaten a looooong time ago.
    Ants: Clean, efficient, industrious.
    The most annoying thing about them is our nagging fear that they’re mocking us. “Oh, good morning. Don’t mind us, we’ve just set up an empire while you were sleeping in. Off to work? Fine. By the time you’ve switched on your computer and had your second cup of coffee, we’ve probably taken over the world and sent a space shuttle to Mars. Ta ta!”
    Or is that just me?

  218. mojo
    May 22nd, 2010 at 7:25 am [Reply]

    5/22 MW: Dr. Jeff courageously offers his OWN marital advice: “Money is the number one issue that couples argue about. Well, that and, um, maybe going to dinner with some guy just because he’s some big shot councilman and then screening your calls so your loser doctor boyfriend can never get in touch with you to ask you what the hell’s going on, and ultimately only go back to him because Mister Big Shot Councilman happens to NOT LIKE FISH so he’ll never take you to the Bum Boat. More pink wall fish, dear?”

  219. Push Trot
    May 22nd, 2010 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    Fred Bassett: I can understand that lonely people talk to their dogs, but this guy is apparantly happily married. And why does he look like he actually expects an answer? And why do I spend so much time wondering about this dull, dull, dull strip?

    H&J: Still waiting for that stabbing hobo…

    Luann: Greg Evans probably thought that doing the joke around Quill inviting people to “go ‘down under’” would have been too risqué.
    It would also have been stale, but being stale is what Luann is all about.

    MT: Once again, Rusty is trying to foil one of Mark’s attempts to not do a God damn thing!

    MW: This is not so much a conversation as a very convincing ventriloquist act.

  220. ArtisticPlatypus
    May 22nd, 2010 at 7:44 am [Reply]

    Margo and Lu Ann have clearly discussed the importance of pleasing one’s boyfriend before.

  221. Push Trot
    May 22nd, 2010 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    What’s up with that weird, little guy hovering behind Mary Worth’s right elbow?

  222. Écureuil Écumant
    May 22nd, 2010 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    MW: In the first panel Mary makes the universal crashing-747 hand sign, indicating that this date isn’t going anywhere after dinner. And in the second, Dr. Jeff tries to divert her attention with a ghost hand puppet while subtly cluing us in that he’s not about to pick up tonight’s dinner tab.

  223. gleeb
    May 22nd, 2010 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    Brenda: To honor Harry Rumple’s memory, she’s telling extra lies to the police.

    Archie: Under great, if confused provocation, Riverdale anarchists assassinated the entire Lodge family.

    : Are they dwarfs, or is the kitchen so huge that the cabinet in the foreground looks so big?

    ‘bean: And now Crazy Les’ inexplicably normal daughter is going to be jealous, too?

    H&L: Ditto felt the gun barrel dig into his side,and for the first time knew real fear.

    Phantom: The Phantom frightened a man into breaking his own side table, and it only took him a week!

    Zippy: Enjoy the Nazi invasion of Europe, Griff!

  224. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 22nd, 2010 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    9CL: yup. hand jive. Guess she meant she’d spend all night saying “yes” “yes!” “YES!”

    A&J: mmmm, pancakes.

    HotC: this just keeps getting better and better. Panel 4 is artistic win.

    MG&G: *groan*

    OBH: hehehehehe. “Clobber-rator”

    RwO: more giggles.

    Zits: umm, Jeremy? You were conceived on some killer Thaistick, just sayin.

    SB: heh. Nice concept, wacky art.

    Lio: win. The “doo-dee-doo” look on Cybil makes the joke.

    CdS: great, now we have to prepare for a zombie TOAD invasion as well!

  225. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 22nd, 2010 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    needing Potato-Aid? [*]

  226. TheDiva
    May 22nd, 2010 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    DT: Maybe if Anja Nu hadn’t had that sixth face lift, her features wouldn’t shift around so much.

    FW: Summer wonders if one of her mom’s videos is titled “What To Do If Your Father Can’t Keep It In His Pants.”

    reFOOB: “Because you love your children and are willing to tolerate the occasional mess and chaos in order to give them a fun time?”
    “No, I want a real reason!”

    Luann: So, the Chamber of Commerce held a meeting just so Quill could give a travelogue? No wonder the economy’s tanking.

    MW: Do most couples have conversations that sound like the dialogue for industrial films? In my experience they don’t, but maybe I’m the weird one.

    I’ll bet that plaster of Paris martini Mary’s drinking has quite a kick, though.

  227. spike
    May 22nd, 2010 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    9CL: And to think Bill was so hot to defend her virtue to that British officer. He’ll get over it, I’m sure, right after he kills Kiesl. I eagerly await the day that Juliette learns her father isn’t Bill…oh, about three or four Belgiums from now.

    FW: Guess it’s now up to Summer (with a little help from Keisha) to rescue Les from Suzy the Psycho. Oh wait! It’s not-a-date time again in the Batiukverse again.

    A3G: Will Margo waste a very teachable moment?

  228. user-of-owls
    May 22nd, 2010 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    Those unmoving drops on Rusty’s “face” aren’t tears…they’re tattoos. It’s clear now that he is a sleeper agent on a mission to establish a foothold for MS-13 in Lost Forest.

  229. Mordock999
    May 22nd, 2010 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    Today’s Luann – 05/22/10

    People: Today I’ve just NOTICED today that without galss, Quill looks a LOT like Brad’s boss, the Firechief.
    Now the Firechief is supposed to be Gay.
    So if Quill and the Firechief are ACTUALLY One and the SAME,
    That MEANS that Quill IS GA….,
    DEATH to TJ!!!

  230. Anonymous
    May 22nd, 2010 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    MW: Meddling all day sure works up an appetite. Nothing quenches that appetite more than a plate of vaguely biege slop with side order of hackneyed platitudes.

  231. Anonymous
    May 22nd, 2010 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    A3G: Margo chuckles to herself. Go to Hell? Honey, I rule over Hell.

  232. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 22nd, 2010 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    MW: Dr. Jeff has clearly learned, over years of healthy relationship communication terror, how to negotiate a conversation with Mary: just keep agreeing, and just keep drinking.

    JP: I admit, if I had the opportunity to provide my shoe-lovin’-chick feedback on a new line of shoes, I’d be all geeked up, too. Well, I’d be all geeked up if the shoes in question looked like anything I’d ever want to wear. But in Jules’ case? Eh, not so much.

    MT: On Monday, when they’re back at the cabin, Mark will offer his best efforts yet at comforting Rusty: “Hey, look! Pancakes!”

  233. vanya
    May 22nd, 2010 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    9CL: 10 years, and all Kiesl gets is a hand massage? His testicles must look like blue grapefruit by now.

    Get Fuzzy: All week this strip has just been topical 70s and 80s jokes (Steve Austin? Steve Urkel?). Way to alienate future readers there, Darby. My 12 year old has given up on this strip.

    Luann: Tiffany is sure getting nasty looks for a silly little question most people would assume is a joke. Even the town’s business community knows she’s a slut?

    Mark Trail: Who knew Mark was such a heartless a-hole?

  234. zerowolf
    May 22nd, 2010 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    MT: I picture Jack Elrod saying, “Ok, snark on this.”

  235. John C Fremont
    May 22nd, 2010 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    @Push Trot (#221): I think maybe that’s Brak’s dad.

    9CL – Okay, I hate, hate, hate the hand sex crap, but I’m glad they finally did it. I’m glad, I say.

    A3G – It almost looks as though Margo is noticing that The Force is strong in this one, but this is Lu Ann. On the other hand, she is less whiney than that damned Skywalker kid.

  236. zerowolf
    May 22nd, 2010 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    RMMD: If June and Brook become a new spandex wearing crime fighting duo, I’m all for it.

  237. zerowolf
    May 22nd, 2010 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    Quill: Do you think the Chamber of Commerce liked my presentation, Tiffany?
    Tiffany: Oh very much. Now you need to put those skills to work on my Chamber of Intercourse.

  238. Doug Starr Twinkle
    May 22nd, 2010 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    “How can I say it any clearer?” Margo says it clearer by indicating “three inches” with her fingers. This is her sign language for “boyfriend.”

  239. Mibbitmaker
    May 22nd, 2010 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    @TruthOfAngels (#216): Plus, there’s the facial hair.

  240. TheMagicMel
    May 22nd, 2010 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    9CL: Perhaps she’s going to ‘Ach, meine Gute’ Kiesl to death, thus enabling her to marry Capt America without triangular love awkwardness.

  241. Amateur
    May 22nd, 2010 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    MW: The only thing that could make this PSA remotely interesting would be if it led to an argument between Mary and Dr. Jeff about money, culminating in their throwing giant globs of that beige goop at each other.

  242. SarahM
    May 22nd, 2010 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    9CL: Hah! So after Bill defends Edie’s honor, goes on a suicide mission and spends a decade hiding himself away attempting to make himself “perfect” for her, he’s not the one who gets to deflower her (as if her virginity were a prize to be won, of course, because everyone knows a woman’s value is measured by how intact her hymen is!). When (if!) Bill finds out, I bet the look on his face will be priceless. I, for one, am eagerly waiting for the carnage to ensue, which should happen sometime in 2011.

    Bleh. I can’t decide who annoys me most in this silly, painfully drawn-out soap opera. Yet I can’t stop gawking at it.

  243. Jamus The Bartender
    May 22nd, 2010 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    My Cage: Uh- ohhhhh…….

  244. Weaselboy
    May 22nd, 2010 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    MT: Rusty is crying becacuse is dad is so stupid.

  245. Jamus The Bartender
    May 22nd, 2010 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    Hi And Lois: Also a little creepy today. Drunk neighbor….well, adult male with substance abuse issues….hiding in boy’s treehouse.

  246. commodorejohn
    May 22nd, 2010 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    A3G – I don’t know what’s funnier here: the insinuation that Luann is a whore, or the insinuation that Luann knows what sex is.

    AS – As I am completely unfamiliar with Hee Haw, I have no idea if the “joke” in today’s Argyle Sweater makes any sense or not. However, I do know that A. there are at least six billion funnier ways to phrase that caption, and B. SCOTT HILLBURN IS TOO GODDAMN LAZY TO LOOK AT A PIANO KEYBOARD BEFORE DRAWING ONE.

    BrS – Have a little dressing with your word salad, Brenda!

    Crankshaft – No. Look, I’m sorry, but any sane pest-control agency would know better than to go spraying willy-nilly because of one fucking ant. Rejected. Go directly back to the drawing board; do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

    Curtis – Okay, it carries into next week. I still say that any sudden attempt to cop out at the end is declared non-canon.

    FW – “Oh God,” Summer thinks. “Not another poor woman inexplicably drawn to my pasty, mopey waste of a father.”

    HOTC – Crazy.

    JP – Right, sure. Being obsessed with something gives you the knowledge to construct it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go build a vinyl-record press and stamp out a few thousand copies of my album, after which I’ll head down to the local pharmacy and purchase the substances needed in my attempt to bio-engineer catgirls.

    Luann – I’m trying to decide whether to be derisive because Greg Evans obviously didn’t bother looking up anything to put in a speech about Australia besides the map, or impressed that he even bothered to look up the map. Honestly, for all that we’ve seen, Quill might as well be from Ohio.

    MT – I’m honestly pretty shocked here. Who would have thought that Mark Trail, of all things, was nuanced enough for Chekhov’s Gun to apply?

    MW – That’s right, Jeff, just keep smiling and parroting and maybe she won’t decide that you need to be meddled. Maybe.


    MC – No, no, Rex, if you want a minstrel you have to hire one.

    PBS – Well there’s a surreal image.

    Phantom – “It’s gone?” Dare I ask what “it” is?

    Popeye – Oh, so that’s where Sassy’s got to.

    RMMD – Are we really going to get a June vs. mugger smackdown? Oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please…

    SM – Spidey. He’s too stupid to know whether or not you’re telling the truth. FEED HIM SOME FALSE INFORMATION. GEEZ.

    Edison Lee – Yeah, you know what? People his age built the industry. Mel was a member of his generation. Show some respect, you worthless fuck.

  247. Mibbitmaker
    May 22nd, 2010 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    9CL: ….middle finger….

    A3G: Margo is wondering where the cheering TV studio audience came from all of a sudden.

    BBailey: Reason why the Walkers shouldn’t be editorial cartoonists.

    Doonesbury: This might be a good time to call it Catch 22.

    ReFOOB: Becaaaaause… she’s your daughter and it’s her birthday, maybe? Jeez, Ellie!

    FW: The Recipe (in progress)
    Mix “Three’s Company” with “Arrested Development” brand taboo, drown in dour flour, and overheat for at least two weeks. Then, procede to throw away, since the result would be a pile of indigestible glop even Mary Worth wouldn’t bake!

    GA: Dumb storyline, but nice gimmick there.

    HotC: Ralph Phillips says to scram from his territory. (best sequence in “A to ZZZZZ”, btw)

    JP: Your welcome, male chauvinists…… and Kelly Ripa.

    MT: When Rusty is the voice of reason in animal matters, Mark, then it’s time to get out of the business.

    MW: “….n-not US, of c-c-c-c-c-course…!!”

    S-M: Actually, it’ll be at least partly Larry Lieber’s fault, but anyway…

    Ziggy: …or to his doctor’s BILL! (amirite?)

    ZtP: Griffy is really just a priggish Zippy. [*]

  248. Weaselboy
    May 22nd, 2010 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    MW: Um, Dr. Jeff, you’ve got something on the back of your jacket.

  249. Les of the Jungle Patrol
    May 22nd, 2010 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    The thing most irksome about 9CL handsex is that McEldowney probably thinks he’s being tasteful. He’s not. Lovingly detailed renderings of engorged penises ejaculating onto aroused vulvas would be more tasteful. This is just gauche.

  250. commodorejohn
    May 22nd, 2010 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    @Les of the Jungle Patrol (#249): You know, you’re exactly right.

  251. Inky Fingers
    May 22nd, 2010 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    Re: Hi & Lois

    Holy Shit! Run boy run! Old drunkie neighbour is looking for some diddlin’ in the treehouse!

  252. Ukulele Ike
    May 22nd, 2010 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    @Push Trot (#217): Not necessarily….see “The Argentine Ant” one of Italo Calvino’s finest short stories.

  253. Numbat
    May 22nd, 2010 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    9CL – Well, I’m glad that the hands finally got to have sex – though I was a bit perplexed that one started before the other was ready. Was this the hand equivilant of a strip tease or naughty [oh so naughty] floor show?

    They should have used a glove as a contraceptive device though.

  254. Rusty
    May 22nd, 2010 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Brooke is smarter than us all. He is paid to produce a strip only he could enjoy.

  255. Sequitur
    May 22nd, 2010 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    @Push Trot (#217): I would shoehorn roaches in between flies and spiders.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#225): I hate it when that happens.

  256. Sequitur
    May 22nd, 2010 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    9CL: I’m glad to see the “Thing” family having a good time.

    "Thank you, Thing!"

  257. Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball
    May 22nd, 2010 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Myabe it’s my Bronx sensibilities, or something (yes, we actually have sensibilities in The Bronx) (that’s a capital T, always, by the way), but I find this strip engaging, interesting, amusing, and of course, very well-drawn. Lovely to look at, most of the time.

    I am not being facetious.

    Maybe, because most of you hardly ever agree with me, you ignore my comments, most of the time.

    But I reiterate, I like this strip. It does not run in a New York City paper, which is why I was not aware of it untile I found this blog, by accident, a few years ago, thank goodness.

  258. mollificent
    May 22nd, 2010 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    /delurking, stretching atrophied snark muscles…

    Hi guys! Sorry I’ve been AWOL…it’s been a busy/distracting few weeks. :) Just wanted to say that I wish, wish, wish I could be at Mid-Atlanticon! Waaaahh!! (There’s another friend’s event in San Francisco tomorrow night I also can’t attend…I need to clone myself. Sigh.)


    9CL (yes, I snuck a peek so I could give my obligatory hand-jive comment): El-bow sex! El-bow sex! EL-BOW SEX!!

    Zits: This is what is known as PARADING crap past the radar.

  259. Lucky
    May 22nd, 2010 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G – “All right.”

    Curtis – Okay, just how the hell did this story arc ever get past the censors!?

    Family Circus – Looks like the Keane Compound has finally reached the grape Flavor-Aide drinking phase. With any luck this should mean that Family Circus ends tomorrow.

    Hi & Lois – Too. Easy.

  260. commodorejohn
    May 22nd, 2010 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball (#257): I think you must be reading an alternate-universe version. I admit, I like what the strip could be; that is, I like the ideas behind it. I also enjoy the art (except the ridiculously-overused Batman angles.) But unfortunately, the actual execution of the writing flops harder than almost anything I’ve seen.

    It’s un-bearably pretentious and stuffy, which is bad enough, but it’s also firmly apparent that McEldowney believes his writing to be high wit and devilishly clever, and that’s just insulting. It shamelessly and self-indulgently apes the surface conventions of whichever of Brooke’s obsessions happens to be at the top of his list for the week, while often as not completely missing the point of the inspiring work (as I and others have noted before, for all that his current storyline wants to be Casablanca, he’s demonstrated before that he could not possibly have missed the point of the original harder,) and it’s snobbily derisive of anybody who doesn’t appreciate what Brook considers to be Art.

    Were 9 Chickweed Lane the sort of strip that a summary of its premise might lead you to believe it is (that is, a whimsical yet intelligent look at the life of a young dancer and her oddball family,) it could be thoroughly enjoyable and a welcome change from the many gag-a-day domestic or work sitcom strips that clutter the funny pages. As it is, it’s a pile of snotty, self-indulgent tripe by a man who, despite all his pretentions of class, is just a buffoon in intellectual’s clothing. In other words: it sucks.

  261. Jamus The Bartender
    May 22nd, 2010 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball (#257): I don’t disagree, A. I always thought Edda and Juliette were, and are, pretty hot.
    Still, the storyline HAS been going on since before Turkey Day, 2009….

  262. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 22nd, 2010 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    9CL – “And then Kiesl showed me his collection of preserved human arms, in lifelike poses.”

    Dick – More menacing thought balloons from Johnny Passive-Aggressive. Later on, he’ll pointedly fail to clean the break room.
    “Somebody left a mess in here!”
    “(In your face, Tracy!)”

    Gasoline – Oh, come on. Animals like that don’t just show up. Where did they escape from? Boner’s Ark?

    Pluggers – Every day’s the same old surprise. “Hey, these pants don’t fit! Hey, neither do these. Okay, these ones fit. Now I’ll put the others back in the drawer.” Pluggers make digger wasps seem spontaneous and flexible in their thinking.

  263. Ed Dravecky
    May 22nd, 2010 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    I called it! Herb and Jamaal are “big boy” camping in their back yard and, based on the gear they’re using, in the late 1970s.

    Oh my sweet and fluffy Lord! That’s not hand sex in 9CL. Those are the severed arms of Kiesl’s many victims, preserved in moments of agony and prayer.

  264. Ed Dravecky
    May 22nd, 2010 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    …Muffaroo posts between the time I hit preview and the time I hit post. Dang it.

  265. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 22nd, 2010 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    Prickly – Put that last line in a thought balloon and we have the American Fred Basset.

    Spidey – In his off hours, Sabretooth is a research scientist. “Show me a new subatomic particle, or the girl gets it!” Next year, he’s thinking of cutting out the research entirely and just threatening the Nobel committee.

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#232): Dr. Jeff’s method of tolerating a meal with Mary is actually to play a drinking game. One swallow for an aphorism. A gulp for a platitude. If she quotes an epigram from an English poet, finish the drink and order another. Dr. Jeff is also good at staying on his feet when he can’t actually see.

    @mollificent (#258): At least Brooke spared us from seeing the fist.

    Holy cow, I just made it in ahead of Ed Dravecky with that earlier 9CL comment! Lucky I didn’t start later, or take longer reading other comments before I posted it.

  266. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 22nd, 2010 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    Similar, Ed, but your take was sufficiently different…

  267. Fata Morgana
    May 22nd, 2010 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball (#257): I actual do have some non-ironic enjoyment of 9CL as well. And like you, I never heard of it or Brooke Mceldowney before I started following this blog. Certainly, the art is very, very good and far above what is mostly presented on the comics page, and Brooke does have story arcs which in itself is a feat on the comics page.

    It’s just… Brooke is so freaking pretentious most of the time. Maybe his pretentiousness is more obvious to someone who has a BA in music performance (and so to me his portrayal of musicians is inflated and ridiculous). Perhaps the sarcasm at his expense here is over the line of what Brooke “deserves”, but I usually find people’s comments here pretty hilarious, even on the strips I enjoy unironically. I think I’m mostly pissed at Brooke because his pretentiousness ruins, for me, what could have been a truly compelling and amazing strip.

    If you want truly engaging story and beautiful art minus the pretentiousness, I suggest The Abominable Charles Christopher.

    Though granted, “pretentiousness” is perhaps subjective, and maybe to other people Charles Christopher will seem pretentious; to me it seems piercingly sincere.

  268. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 22nd, 2010 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    *glomps mollificent*

    yay for Rocky refs! :-P

  269. curlyfries
    May 22nd, 2010 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @Les of the Jungle Patrol (#249): Worse than that – Brooke thinks he’s being original and artistic. No to the first because The Terminator, or all things, did it first; and definitely no to the latter because all his hands are so effeminate the only logical conclusion is that Edie is really a Hindu goddess who’s getting herself off.

    What’s really disturbing is the realization that nine months from now Edie’s hand will look like this.

    @commodorejohn (#260): WORD. I used to enjoy the strip when Edda and Amos were in Catholic school, which is when I first discovered it. Then it became the really insufferable, “smug to be erudite” (not the same thing as “hip to be square”), overly twee offering it is now. I now dislike it for the same reason I dislike members of Mensa who constantly brag that they’re members of Mensa. And I go out of my way to point out to them that they’re members of the Table society. Because that faux-Latin ironic misnomer tells you everything about Mensa that you need to know – and, by extension, Brooke McEldowney.

  270. Aleit
    May 22nd, 2010 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    @Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball (#257): I actually do enjoy it a lot both for the art and the pretenciousness (is there a word like that?). But sometimes it is just a little bit over the edge. I seriously had to look at it six times today to figure out what’s going on, and that’s not good. I enjoyed the hands sequence through the barbed wire though. Yes, it was sentimental, and too much, and all that, but also very beautiful. So, um, you’re not alone at all)

  271. bats :[
    May 22nd, 2010 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    9CL: oh for God’s sake. Not again.

  272. dreadedcandiru2
    May 22nd, 2010 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    Sunday Funnies:

    ReFoob: We see Lizzie playing with a toy cowboy on a horse (because My Little Pony hadn’t been invented yet) and galloping it into a potted plant; Elly comes along later and is baffled by the tracks left behind. I’d like to be charitable and say that she’s trying to figure out which child did it but, well, she’s not all that bright.

    FW: Summer closes down her FaceBook page; since Les is an idiot, he doesn’t realize that she might be trying to avoid a stalker….a stalker who dresses like her late mother.

    S4th: Ces makes an “astonishing” revelation: Ted Forth is a fan of the original Star Wars trilogy.

    C’Shaft: Kim, having taught her elderly neighbor to use Amazon improperly, is astonished that no one has yet undone the damage she did.

  273. commodorejohn
    May 22nd, 2010 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#269): Are you sure you didn’t see a TV edit of The Terminator? Because I darn well remember me some Linda Hamilton boobies (or costume simulacra thereof.) Surprisingly tasteful and sentimental for a sex scene in an ’80s action flick, but not disguised in the least.

  274. mollificent
    May 22nd, 2010 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    @Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball (#257): I used to be one of Brooke’s strongest supporters/defenders, and in fact I have several yellowing 9CL strips magnetized to my fridge, from back when I loved the strip. However, I grew increasingly disenchanted with it for the reasons everyone else has stated–Brooke’s pretentiousness and especially his dismissal of all critics as “beefwits”…or as Lizzy Bennett might say, his “arrogance and conceit, and…selfish disdain for the feelings of others”.

    For the full explanation of my feelings on the matter, click on my name link and then click on “Someone Else’s Chickweed”. When I finally took the strip off my Chron lineup, it was a big enough deal to me emotionally that I felt the need to immortalize the moment on Youtube. Whether or not that was a good idea is in the ear of the beholder. ;)

    /shameless Youtube plug

  275. cheech wizard
    May 22nd, 2010 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    9CL – What is the image of one hand having sex? Not what Brooke thinks, obviously, but I doubt they’d allow that in the funny papers.

  276. commodorejohn
    May 22nd, 2010 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#274): Aww, how bittersweet.

  277. Anonymous
    May 22nd, 2010 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    Does the two-headed waiter behind Dr. J count as a couple? I imagine they argue about more basic issues such as whose turn it is to use the bladder.

  278. curlyfries
    May 22nd, 2010 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#274): Most enjoyable! No beefwits I know have “The Unicorn in Captivity” tapestry as their backdrop (*) so McEldowney sure can’t use that tag against you. However, I’m sure that its being a reproduction will give him an excuse for finding you unworthy to criticize him.

  279. Len the Lotus
    May 22nd, 2010 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    Non Seq — Yes, Danae. Like the Viking first principle, “pillage BEFORE you burn.”

    Shoe — Yah, Perfessor. Like super-hero leader Professor Expensive, and black rights leader Malcolm Expensive.

    Beetle — I liked the truck before they censored it. It used to say “Bullshit.”

    Hi & Lois — Oh, naughty, naughty Thurston! Can’t stay away from Ditto, can you? (It’s probably perfectly innocant. Thirsty is sharing a beer with his pre-teen neighbor.)

    Mark Trail — Sigh. We should have put a subcutaneous microchip in Sassy’s butt, Rusty. Like we did with you.

    Mary Worth — Yes, it’s lucky that we’re both rolling in cash, isn’t it, my silver-haired dowager widow?

    My Cage — I’m not surprized that Violet’s from an organized crime family. Just that she doesn’t ask Daddy for favors more often. What kinda critter is the hit man following Rex?

    Piranha — A human husband would be dumbfounded to discover his wife can make her belly fat go “flubba flubba flubba.” A duck husband might have an anuerism.

    Popeye — It’s a wise Wimpy who makes his Queen Test impassible except to supermodels. Olive will breeze through, without Oyling. (Does the defeated contestant have a turd in her thought balloon?)

    Snuffy — We are Rex Morgan and Dr.Jeff, oh hillbilly physician, and we agree, yes, we agree.

  280. spike
    May 22nd, 2010 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#271): Sorry, bats :[ , but this is just a warm-up exercise for Edie’s experience with the still offstage Bill O’Malley.

  281. Ukulele Ike
    May 22nd, 2010 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    9CL: It was the damn Unicorn Sequence that ruined it for all of us. And Belgium; Belgium was awful, too. Oh, and Thorax.

  282. cheech wizard
    May 22nd, 2010 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    9CL – By the way, isn’t this kind of a long and roundabout way for Gram to finally tell Juliette that her real father was a Nazi? Although that would certainly explain a lot about her personal style in dealing with students and colleagues.

  283. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 22nd, 2010 at 3:37 pm [Reply]


    FC: Who had wall to wall carpeting installed when the Keanes have four dumbass kids under the age of eight? Not Me!

    A3G: What we’re not seeing is the charming fist-in-front-of-mouth/tongue-bulging-in-cheek gesture that Margo made between the first and second panel.

    9CL: As her mother was giving her explicit play-by-play on afternoon sex with a former Axis officer, Juliette smashed her head into the wall until blood mixed with plaster dust. Or maybe that was me.

    JP: So yeah, Summer 2010 will be all about perfecting and marketing women’s shoes. Manley, you picked a hell of a time to jump onboard.

    SSmith: Especially in a town where the only nurse was kidnapped from an army base during the Korean War.

    MT: The tears on Rusty’s cheeks haven’t moved a centimeter. They must have a pretty high snot content.

    Lockhorns: In a change from its usual routine, The Lockhorns shows Leroy hitting bottom in his noxious fume huffing addiction. Next week there will be an intervention, staged by Loretta and half a dozen miserable looking people with no name.

    MW: Ooh, is it somewhere near the top of the hour? I think the fish on the wall is about to start singing.

    H&L: “Here’s ten bucks, Ditto. And remember, these afternoon meetings in your treehouse are our little secret, ‘kay?”

  284. curlyfries
    May 22nd, 2010 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#273): Oh, I remember ‘em too – I’ll have you know I was always cutting edge, so I had me a VHS player and a videostore rental membership, none of your edited for TV crud for me, thank you very much. I wasn’t referring to hands as a disguised substitute for sex, but that closeup of Hamilton’s and Biehn’s hands clenching and clasping at the end of the sex scene was iconic – and it was used as a substitute for orgasm. That device is what Brooke is battening on and appropriating as a hallmark of his strip.

    Unfortunately all his hands look exactly alike, hence everyone’s confusion – especially over that 3-part sequence in the last panel. Nothing tweaks me more than delicate and effeminate hands on men, which is why I can’t read Sally Forth without my lunch threatening to bolt.

  285. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 22nd, 2010 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball (#257): It’s kind of weird that 9CL doesn’t run in a New York paper, given Brooke’s aiming for a Woody Allen/The New Yorker sensibility.

    It can’t really be denied that he has talent. And shorter story arcs, plus a lot of the stand-alones on Sundays are fun to read. But like others in this community, I find his thin-skinnedness tiresome, and a lot of the plots are terribly misguided.

  286. curlyfries
    May 22nd, 2010 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    MT: Really, if a car hit Sassy hard enough to leave hair and skidmarks, wouldn’t there also be blood on the road? Mark’s idiotic comment that she might not be hurt is utterly ridiculous. It can only be explained if, like every other man in the universe, he figures anything he doesn’t understand is a result of someone having their period.

  287. curlyfries
    May 22nd, 2010 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#285):

    It’s kind of weird that 9CL doesn’t run in a New York paper, given Brooke’s aiming for a Woody Allen/The New Yorker sensibility.

    I always figured it was for the same reason the men in some cultures insist on virginity in their brides – they fear comparison.

  288. Len the Lotus
    May 22nd, 2010 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    #257 (Little A) –I think it was in the Daily News for a brief period, but they dropped it. Probably protests about Seth and Mark, the gay characters.

    By the way, I was also raised and edjumacated in the (okay, The) Bronx. De Witt Clinton High, Class of ’68. Then on to City College. Do you remember Krum’s?

  289. The Poster with No Name
    May 22nd, 2010 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    9 Chickweed Lane: Okay, so did any of you manage to view today’s strip without rolling your eyes so emphatically that you were afraid that they might get stuck there? Anybody? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

    Anyway, when my eyes had settled back into their usual, non-rolling position, I thought of the following. I’ll confess right off the bat that I’m not happy with how it turned out – I feel like I have to apologize for the very first rhyme, and it just goes downhill from there. But I worked on writing the thing out, so here it is. Apologies to Dusty Springfield, to fans of “Son of a Preacher Man” by Dusty Springfield or by any other musician who recorded it, and to everybody everywhere:

    I met him in a prison camp,
    And when we sang together, he made me damp.
    When the prisoners all started talking,
    We let our fingers do some walking
    While they all just stood there gawking.
    When he flashed his fascist grin,
    I wished that their side would win –

    The only one who could ever reach me
    Was a Nazi from prison camp;
    The only boy who could ever teach me
    Was a Nazi from prison camp.
    Yes he was, he was; jawohl, he was…

    Every man wants to make it with me;
    I’m the dreamgirl for all the chaps.
    When he talked sweet propaganda to me,
    I thought, maybe Nazis get a bad rap.
    I wish I knew why I’m attracted to him,
    But I know it ain’t a well-defined chin —

    The only one who could ever reach me
    Was a Nazi from prison camp;
    The only boy who could ever teach me
    Was a Nazi from prison camp.
    Yes he was, he was; jawohl, he was…

    But I don’t remember
    Specific things at all;
    There are details I cannot recall.
    Did he write some letter?
    Did I take off my sweater?
    This part I do not understand:
    All I remember is some hands –

    The only one who could ever reach me
    Was a Nazi from prison camp;
    The only boy who could ever teach me
    Was a Nazi from prison camp.
    Yes he was, he was; jawohl, he was…

  290. Ukulele Ike
    May 22nd, 2010 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    Nah, it never ran in the Daily News. I used to buy that paper regularly to read before the Times, mainly for the comics, but also for the Headless-Body-in-Topless-Bar stories…then they cut from three pages of funnies to two, and I realized I could read the Chron online. No more News for me. No Chickweed that I can remember between 1982 and 2005. I first came across the strip on a business trip in the early 1990s, in the Miami Herald or the New Orleans Times-Picayune or something.

    BTW, Brooklyn in da house.

  291. commodorejohn
    May 22nd, 2010 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#284): Ah, gotcha.

    @The Poster with No Name (#289): I initially heard the “I met him in a prison camp…” bit as the opening to “Leader Of The Pack.” Luckily I wasn’t drinking anything, or you’d owe me a new keyboard.

  292. Len the Lotus
    May 22nd, 2010 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    #290 (Ukulele Ike) — I remember reading Chickweed in a Noo Yawk paper. If it wasn’t the News, I can’t imagine where else… The Post? Don’t think so. I’ll investigate further.

  293. SequelMan
    May 22nd, 2010 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    @Fata Morgana (#267): Yep. Pretentious is subjective. That’s always the nay-sayer word for the Moody Blues. Legends, or Holier-than-Thous? 9CL. Not bad, considering what else is out there, or crapiola? I dunno. I worship at the altar of Tod the Dinosaur and The Barn.

    May 22nd, 2010 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    @Len the Lotus (#288): H.S. of Science, ’65. Of course I remember Krums. And my mother used to take me shopping for shoes on Fordham Road, to Alexander’s. But not on Washington’s Birthday!

  295. Anonymous
    May 22nd, 2010 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    @Les of the Jungle Patrol (#249): The tasteful part is, he omitted the ropes from the drawing. Because, if not tied up, why is the arm outstretched like that the whole time?

    May 22nd, 2010 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#290): The News doesn’t run that kind of thing anymore. And neither does the National Enquirer. They have have been surpassed by that piece of —- The New York Post. On today’s cover: a full-page photo of a matador with the bull’s horn piercing his upper neck and lower mouth (it’s sticking out, like a pointed tongue, from his mouth). Charming.

    May 22nd, 2010 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Well, we have some pretty strong opinions about this strip, for and against.

    However, as I said way back when I first offered some opinions here, we must keep in mind that we are reading and talking about comic strips — we are not reviewing literature in The New York Review of Books.

    When I first wrote that, or something similar, more than one person urged me not to take these comments too seriously. That we all know we are talking about the comics.

    However, I am convinced that a lot of the commentary is very serious and not tongue in cheek.

  298. commodorejohn
    May 22nd, 2010 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    @LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL (#297): Taking the comics too seriously is pretty much what we do here.

  299. curlyfries
    May 22nd, 2010 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    @LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL (#297): We’re all aware that it’s a comic – and so what if it is? And where is the rule that all snark must be unrelentingly flippant and not of a serious tone? Whenever someone comes up with that as a response, it really ticks me off because many times it’s the rejoinder that anyone who’s outargued falls back on. McEldowney obviously intents for 9CWL to be more than a simple daily funny – I’ve thought for years that he sees himself as being the graphic successor to Balzak and his comedie humaine.

    So I think it’s condescending in the extreme, whether it’s meant to be or not, to point that out – because it always comes with a built-in dismissive factor. The implication is that any serious argument, or indeed, any considered objections anyone might have are somehow just not worth much, and everyone might find a better use for their time because it’s a comic (*) . If the subject really isn’t worth all the discussion, then what are any of us really doing here?

  300. yaoi huntress earth
    May 22nd, 2010 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    9CWL: I will admit that the handjive is more tolerable that Brooke’s attempt at more detailed sex scenes in Pibgorn (NSFW):

    May 22nd, 2010 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#299): You are reading me incorrectly. All I meant to say, and I am sorry if it didn’t come out that way, was, that I am amazed at how seriously we sometimes react to comic strips. No judgment was intended.

    And in my own defense: how many times, over the past year or so, have I seriously pointed out what I see is the artistic decline in OBH? I am not joking around when I make these points and observations.

    It seems that some people find 9CL pretentious etc. I don’t. I enjoy it. Does that mean that because I don’t agree with them, I find their arguments and opinions worthless and useless and a waste of time? Where did I say that?

  302. gnome de blog
    May 22nd, 2010 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    @The Poster with No Name (#289): That is nice word indeed.

  303. gnome de blog
    May 22nd, 2010 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#302): Nice work, too.

  304. curlyfries
    May 22nd, 2010 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    @LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL (#301): I didn’t mean you specifically had that intent, which is why I said “anyone.” And it’s not disagreement that’s the problem, it’s the use of that rejoinder.

    If you say you like 9CWL for reasons ab and c, OK, that’s your opinion and you’re certainly entitled to like what you like. But if I disagree and say that I find it pretentious for reason xy and z, and you remind me that it’s only a comic that is rude and dismissive. You certainly didn’t mind that it was a comic when you made an effort to proffer your opinion, it’s only when you meet some opposition that this fallback retort rears its head. And if I said “it’s only a comic, don’t take it so seriously” when you first said how much you enjoyed it, that would be rude and dismissive of me as well. The implication is built-in, even if you didn’t actually say it – do you see what I mean?

    I do remember your criticism of the OBH drawing style. But I don’t believe anyone told you not to take it so seriously and that it was only a comic – I remember others taking it seriously enough to disagree with you and also give examples to back up their opinions. Yeah, comics reflect life (or try to at any rate). Sometimes it’s life in the bizarro world, but enough people do see enough things that are important or significant to them to go to bat, be it pro or con.

  305. Donkey Hotey
    May 22nd, 2010 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    H&J: Boy, did someone see THESE two rubes coming. That’s not a POWER GENERATOR, it’s a cardboard box with a halogen lamp duct-taped to it. Real POWER GENERATORS don’t need to be plugged in. In fact, that’s kind of the point.

  306. Donkey Hotey
    May 22nd, 2010 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    I’ll risk bringing the derision of the majority down upon myself by admitting that I still enjoy 9 Chickweed Lane most of the time, though not as much as I used to when Amos and Edda were in high school. Specifically, I can’t stand Thorax or Pap; the unicorn story made me wonder what the hell Brooke was smokin’; and the current story arc has gone on far, far too long with way too little plot to justify its length. However, I didn’t think the Belgium story arc was as awful as most everyone here seems to, and I don’t mind that Brooke sometimes comes across as a pretentious snot. After all, his main characters are a college professor, a Juilliard student, and a professional ballerina at a quasi-New York City Ballet. I happen to work in the world of professional ballet myself, and it must be admitted that some of the people involved in the art form (though rarely the dancers themselves) are in fact pretentious snots. I also have several friends in higher education, and the same can be said of that world. I think he does a fine job of evoking both of those cultures. As a general rule, I find his characters engaging (with the exceptions noted above) and I think his artwork is consistently good. I am not as familiar with his personality or his comments outside the strip as others here seem to be, but I don’t really take that into account when liking or disliking a strip anyway.

  307. commodorejohn
    May 22nd, 2010 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    @Donkey Hotey (#306): See, I don’t mind if some of the characters in a strip are pretentious and snobbish (though it doesn’t typically do much to endear them to me.) What bugs me about 9CL’s characters is that (with a few very rare exceptions) none of their flaws are acknowledged. The Burbers are the sort of Author-Approved Perfect People that we all learned to hate with the Pattersons: lofty and removed from the common rabble, they can do no wrong (until such is called for by the plot.) So Edda’s not just an annoying little prig, she’s an annoying little prig with God’s (Brooke’s) stamp of approval. It’s really obnoxious.

  308. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 22nd, 2010 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    I give my opinion of 9CL as I go along. Some days I like it better than others. I’m not sure it rates much more of my time than that.

  309. ElkMeadow
    May 22nd, 2010 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    Oh gads, I just escaped that time-suck on Google–the Pac Man game at the home page. I can’t remember what comic strips are paying homage to its thirtieth birthday–I was reading them before I came here, before I found the game–I can barely remember my name right now….I see ghosts….dots……a yellow round dot consumer….dots….where are my eyeballs…….another life, another game….dots…..

  310. True Fable
    May 22nd, 2010 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    I may as well weigh in on the 9CL love/ hate discussion.

    Ever since I started doing a webcomic I have repeatedly been humbled by how hard it is. Maybe in a production line-type comic where one guy thinks up the story, another pencils it, another inks it, another does backgrounds, blah blah blah it’s easier, but when you’re doing all those things yourself it’s tough to put a comic out every day, and it’s a bear getting and staying ahead of the game. No wonder they have such long lead times, geez.

    That being said, I guess I’m just going to have to chalk up The Hands trope as simply being Brooke’s schtick and leaving it at that. Like Buxley Wednesdays, Baldo’s occasional forays into realistic line art, and Dennis the Menace’s icky Mr. Wilson’s single sweat drop, Brooke’s Sex Hands are his way of saying “They’re having sex! Lookie!”

    Well, it beats watching two chinless people fucking!

  311. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 22nd, 2010 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#310): sadly, True Fable, most of the Rule 34 for 9CL is in the old art style. . . .

  312. Alison
    May 22nd, 2010 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

    Sequitur (#192): That is freaking awesome.

  313. commodorejohn
    May 22nd, 2010 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#309): No homages yet in the comics that I read, but ten bucks says FoxTrot does one tomorrow.

    @True Fable (#310): Yeah, comic art can be a crazy amount of work, even with technological assistance. Even more so when you’re trying to do the writing yourself as well. At some point I hope to be fast enough to be able to handle that kind of schedule, but I damn well ain’t now.

  314. Poteet
    May 22nd, 2010 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    @Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball (#257): Please don’t gag too hard, but I’m actually going to repeat that hoary old cliche about how boring it would be if we all liked the same things. If you like 9CL, more power to you. I speak as one who really likes the song MacArthur Park:-).

  315. Poteet
    May 22nd, 2010 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    @The Poster with No Name (#289): No need to apologize in my direction. You had me with the first two lines.

  316. Poteet
    May 22nd, 2010 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    5/23 PV — I hope Horridus is as bad as his name. I’m getting tired of lame-ass villains (and yeah, Spider-Man, I’m looking at you.)

  317. Sister Sestina
    May 22nd, 2010 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

    I’ve always had the impression that a lot of the dissatisfaction expressed with 9CL comes from it having a lot of pretty good, even admirable elements. It draws your attention, you want to like it…and then Brooke oversteps badly and lands his foot in a pile of pretentious claptrap, and you CRINGE. But because Brooke, like Batiuk, has that “disagree with what I say and you’re a moron” chip on his shoulder, it gets harder and harder to shrug off the excesses and plow on. With enough time you descended into betrayed ex-girlfriend levels of vitriol against the strip, because the editorial smugness of its creator really leaves you with no other place to go. A person who insists that you’re either with him or against him, than repeatedly does outrageous things to test your love (and to reassure himself he’s lovable no matter what), WILL turn you against them.

  318. commodorejohn
    May 22nd, 2010 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    @Sister Sestina (#317): Ooh. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a better explanation of exactly why I hate those two. Well-said!

  319. Chip Whittle
    May 22nd, 2010 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    My dissatisfaction with 9 Chickweed Lane is: it had been a great strip. It featured intelligent, creative, yet strange characters and gave them interesting stuff to do, often giving them time to be imaginative. When you look at how rare intelligent characters are in comic strips, and how exceedingly rare strong women are, you appreciate all the more when it’s offered. And it could be touching, even haunting. Find the story from about 1998 or so when Edda was (accidentally) shot in school; someone’s surely preserved it as a web page somewhere, and, boy, that’s a strip you have to respect.

    And since then, it’s gotten… flabby. Self-indulgent. Self-important. And it’s lost all sense of how to tell a story. The warning shot was the unicorn story where an odd but interesting metaphor was presented and delivered neatly…and then continued for two weeks after the point was made. Then there was the Boinking Through Belgium storyline, which got started when Amos said “wow” one too many times at a Hilary Hahn concert and Edda went off on a lunatic jealous fit over his admiration of a world-class violin player, and this weak story was dragged out to eight months, including the whole sex-on-Belgian-TV thing that started out unbelievable and kept getting worse until we were given the idea of Amos and Edda’s Boinking As Magic World Healer. And now we’ve got another eight-month story that got started from a weird premise–something about political correctness meaning you can’t do real USO shows like how Granny did–and spun off to this decade-long tame battle for Granny’s super-chaste sexiness.

    McEldowney makes it worse with Pibgorn and its meandering, incoherent, impossible-to-follow stories about really naked babes wielding magic and getting killed lots so they can be with this schlubby piano player by the way there’s lots of magic pixie sex and death, and with his “beefwit” dismissal of people who don’t appreciate his brilliantnessocity. As if not understanding it were the only reason to be offended by ten-year-old girl wanting to be a succubus.

    On a lighter note: in Snuffy Smith: by “this new health care plan” that Nursie and Doc don’t understand they just mean this thing about using soap and clean water to avoid diseases.

  320. curlyfries
    May 23rd, 2010 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    @Sister Sestina (#317): That’s it in a nutshell. As I said before, I started out liking the strip – I used to like FOOB as well. Hell, I even enjoyed Winkerbean. Then all of these strips just started to act like they believed their own publicity and could do no wrong. This is not about how hard it is to put out a strip or how much we should really be appreciative of the effort involved and try it ourselves before we criticize – those are defenses and justifications and mean nothing when we’re talking about criticism. Yeah, it’s hard. So? Other writers find it just as hard and manage to get – and keep – a great many appreciative fans. For me, it’s very much about the supercilious attitude that Batiuk has toward those who don’t appreciate his “writing” and that McEldowney has toward “beefwits” who don’t appreciate his droppings of erudution. It was a turnoff and I actively disliked having to dance attendance around their self-glorifying work every day about as much as I disliked having to join in the male-and-hisband-bashing therapy sessions that FOOB became.

  321. ElkMeadow
    May 23rd, 2010 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#314):

    One of these days I’m going to put a cake out in the rain and watch the frosting flowing down.

  322. curlyfries
    May 23rd, 2010 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#321): If you did, I don’t think that I could take it, since it took so long for you to bake it, and besides, I’d never have that recipe again.

    You know what? That’s bollocks. You put a cake out in the rain and I see it, that sucker’s gone before the top layer of frosting gets damp.

  323. mollificent
    May 23rd, 2010 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    @Sister Sestina (#317): I think you’ve put your finger right on it. :)

  324. Sequitur
    May 23rd, 2010 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    Did you know it takes 12,345 monkeys to recreate a My Cage strip?

    It takes only 1 monkey (drunk) to create a Chickweed Lane strip.

    Believe It Or Not!

  325. ElkMeadow
    May 23rd, 2010 at 12:56 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#313):

    Should have taken you up on your bet, but I thought it was a sure thing too.

    @curlyfries (#322):

    Got the cake, need to find the rain….mmmm….frosting…..too bad I’ll never fit into those striped pair of pants, or that yellow cotton dress again.

  326. Sequitur
    May 23rd, 2010 at 1:01 am [Reply]

    Did you know… Luann is actually written in Danish and translated to English by French llamas?

    Mark Trail doesn’t really know how to mark a trail.

    Believe It Or Not!

  327. ElkMeadow
    May 23rd, 2010 at 1:11 am [Reply]

    Oh cheese, it’s a major pat-on-the-back-puke-fest at Mary Worth.

    Either there’s going to be more to the story (like Bonnie also threw out Jeff’s favorite college sweatshirt and now they have to go to every thrift shop to find it), or Jeff’s gonna have a heart attack and force a change to the story line while the fish continues to swim in and out of Mary’s ears.

  328. This Guy
    May 23rd, 2010 at 1:21 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#314): I think you mean that you speak as the one who likes “MacArthur Park.” But seriously, I also find myself in the minority opinion on various works (or so it usually seems on the Internet.) I guess that in the end, you can’t let it get you down much.

  329. Sequitur
    May 23rd, 2010 at 1:24 am [Reply]

    Did you know… Apartment 3G actually takes place in Drew Carey’s back yard in Cleveland?

    Rex Morgan M.D. is not really a doctor? He just plays one in the comic strips. He is actually a world champion Hacky Sack player.

    Believe It Or Not!

  330. Sequitur
    May 23rd, 2010 at 1:29 am [Reply]

    Did you know… MacArthur’s Park did not melt in the dark but took place in broad daylight in Iowa?

    Believe It Or Not!

  331. Sequitur
    May 23rd, 2010 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    I'm done.

  332. curlyfries
    May 23rd, 2010 at 1:37 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#331): I don’t believe it.

  333. Sequitur
    May 23rd, 2010 at 1:39 am [Reply]

    Believe It Or Not!

  334. curlyfries
    May 23rd, 2010 at 1:39 am [Reply]

    FW: I’m really, really hoping that Summer is tanking her Facespace page to devote all her time to her new blog

    JP: That “problem solving business” Abbey’s so proud of just got more problematical the second Mr. Argyle Sweater got all goofy over that pink platform sandal. Times ten if it comes in size 12.

  335. curlyfries
    May 23rd, 2010 at 1:47 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#333): See? I was right. You are the reason I’m a cynic.

  336. Sequitur
    May 23rd, 2010 at 1:47 am [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#334): JP: Hold it. You got all “12 oz can” on us.

  337. Sequitur
    May 23rd, 2010 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    Yoo Hoo! Baka! Baka Gaijin! Where are you? There’s no clown about!

  338. curlyfries
    May 23rd, 2010 at 2:01 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#336): I did what, now? I’m halfway through Elkmeadow’s soggy cake, but I’m not washing it down with anything.

  339. curlyfries
    May 23rd, 2010 at 2:02 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#337): Don’t believe it, Baka.

  340. Sequitur
    May 23rd, 2010 at 2:04 am [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#338): Quite all right. Carry on now. Pip, pip, you know and all that rot.

  341. ElkMeadow
    May 23rd, 2010 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#330):

    Dark chocolate frosting….with green mint swirls….and yellow Pac Man dots….
    I need to find another song, so I can sing it.

  342. Sequitur
    May 23rd, 2010 at 2:08 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#341): Tro lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo looo.

  343. Sister Sestina
    May 23rd, 2010 at 2:10 am [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#322): My husband once lived in an apartment block across the street from MacArthur Park, the only one in the entire building who wasn’t on welfare. He tells of trundling a Costco-size carton of Snapple home and being besieged by kids nagging him to give them some since it was OBVIOUS he must’ve stolen it, the idea of bulk-buying being a complete unknown to them. You can bet that cake would have been snagged pronto. In fact I’m surprised my husband didn’t try the experiment himself — this is the guy who made a detour to Albuquerque during his move from New Jersey to California, just so he could send postcards saying “Left, I said turn left!” to his fellow animation-lovin’ friends — but then as good a cook as he is, he never quite mastered baking.

  344. Mibbitmaker
    May 23rd, 2010 at 2:15 am [Reply]

    Doooooon’t youuuuuuuuu believe it!

  345. Mibbitmaker
    May 23rd, 2010 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    What… I… believe…!
    (thanks to Steve Martin)

  346. Mibbitmaker
    May 23rd, 2010 at 2:19 am [Reply]

    I’m a believer / I couldn’t leave her / if I tried…

    (okay, I’ll stop now)

  347. Sequitur
    May 23rd, 2010 at 2:21 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#345): No. Mind if I fart?
    ~~Steve Martin

  348. Sister Sestina
    May 23rd, 2010 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#346): No, Mibbitmaker! Don’t stop / believin’…

  349. Mibbitmaker
    May 23rd, 2010 at 2:27 am [Reply]

    (okay, one more)

    I… I believe in music / oh, I… I believe in love…

    (a golden oldie from 1972!)

  350. ElkMeadow
    May 23rd, 2010 at 2:30 am [Reply]

    @Sister Sestina (#343):

    Suggest going to Paradise Lodge at Mt. Rainier National Park, where he can send Paradise stamped postcards, saying “I’ve been to Paradise”: and “Wow, they did pave Paradise and put up a parking lot!”

    It’s okay about his not baking the cake. After all, I’ll never have the recipe again.

    @Sequitur (#342):

    Phasers on full power, Mr. Red Shirt In The Front Row.

  351. Sequitur
    May 23rd, 2010 at 2:33 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#349): tro lo lo lo lo…

    heh heh. I'm such a stinker.

  352. curlyfries
    May 23rd, 2010 at 2:59 am [Reply]

    @Sister Sestina (#343): Is telling us your husband isn’t a masterbaker overshare or not?

  353. Sister Sestina
    May 23rd, 2010 at 3:01 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#350): Not cartoonish enough for him probably. Though come to think of it maybe he’s grown out of a phase; when we went to Flintstones Bedrock City (on the way to the Grand Canyon) he didn’t indulge in postcards. But we were on our honeymoon at the time so he may have been…distracted.

  354. ElkMeadow
    May 23rd, 2010 at 3:01 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#351):

    Fire when ready.

  355. Sister Sestina
    May 23rd, 2010 at 3:03 am [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#352): Possibly, but seems like I’ve got two settings — shut up or overshare. One reason I don’t dare go NEAR Facebook.

  356. Mr. O'Malley
    May 23rd, 2010 at 3:50 am [Reply]

    Babl: Better than usual today.

    FC: When this same strip ran a few months ago, I was so distracted by trying to guess the year of the blue car that I didn’t think to wonder how the dogs managed to open the door.

    MW: Compare panel 2 and the last panel. The fish is slowly backing away from Mary, and with good reason.

  357. Push Trot
    May 23rd, 2010 at 5:42 am [Reply]

    “You see, Rusty, some times small, bloodsucking critters hitch themselves to you, and just wont let go. Many of them are riddled with diseases. It is imortant to remove them before too long, otherwise you are going to regret it!”

    “But Mark, I don’t see what this has got to do with finding Sassy!”


  358. Push Trot
    May 23rd, 2010 at 6:02 am [Reply]

    S-M Oh, no! Please tell me Spider-Man isn’t going to get out of this story THAT easily. I know there’s no way he could have ended this by himself, but at least let him get punched some more before he’s save by a more competent hero.

  359. Push Trot
    May 23rd, 2010 at 6:19 am [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#252):
    I haven’t read that one. Our ants are the small black ones that are about as dangerous as doozers.
    But judging from what I can find about the story on the internet, “The Argentine Ant” can be read as a social commentary on the intrusive elements of modern live. And if it is indeed ‘modern life’ that’s trying to invade the Crankshaft household, it would explain a lot about the extreme overreaction it’s causing. A lot.

  360. Sheila Sternwell
    May 23rd, 2010 at 6:22 am [Reply]

    Saturday A3G: If I was Lu Ann, my answer about my skills would be “I unhinge my jaw for fellatio, you unhinge it to devour souls. That’s why he likes me better, bitch.”

    GT: There’s something fuzzy flying through the girls’ locker room.

    JP: “I’m a woman, therefore I’m obsessed with shoes.” Sigh. Aim high, sister.

    MW: There are stuffed salmon — obviously the kind that are used to make salmon squares — on at least 2 walls of the Butt Boat. I’m far more disturbed by this than I expected to be.

  361. Push Trot
    May 23rd, 2010 at 6:28 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#255): We haven’t got cockroaches around here, and I didn’t want to be presumptuous. The closest we’ve got are earwigs, and they’re scarce. But the Crankshaft story would have worked better with a cockroach, if I should venture a guess.

  362. gleeb
    May 23rd, 2010 at 7:40 am [Reply]

    I agree that both Batiuk and McDowner have a similar attitude towards their readers: one of looking down at them. But in Batiuk’s case, I find it humorous. He gives us the ridiculous, but insists on it all being very, very serious, which it can’t be. Hence, the humor. McDowner does much the same, but with an internal attitude in his strip that his characters are paragons of perfection, and are treated as such within the strip. It’s like Creepy Les not only thought of himself as the perfect husband and father, but so did everyone else. Which, with the Lisa’s Story book, Batiuk may drift towards, which would be a shame.

    That said, Sunday comics!

    Brenda: “Don’t tell the media”? She’s a reporter; she is the media!

    Pickles: MacArthur. Park.

    Slylock: It’s a good thing Alfred Nobel didn’t have an annoying fox to put up with.

    June Morgan, super-sleuth!: As panel 4 tells us, it’s still all about shoes.

    Mary: I can’t hear you; I have a fish in my ear.

    Sam Driver, shoe-lover: The mask slips.

  363. Amateur
    May 23rd, 2010 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    MW: “Everything’s perfect, even the fish emerging from my right ear!”

    (By the way, for my fellow RiffTrax fans, I just started listening to the new “Harry Potter” Trax last night and it’s got a great “Funky Winkerbean” riff, which I wouldn’t have appreciated nearly as much if not for you all. Thanks much! :-) )

  364. Buck Ripsnort
    May 23rd, 2010 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    ReFOOB: Toy horsies can leave toy horse dunga behind.

    Believe It Or Else!

  365. Ukulele Ike
    May 23rd, 2010 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#320): “…all of these strips just started to act like they believed their own publicity and could do no wrong.”

    Sadly for Brooke, he’s never gotten the sort of publicity enjoyed by FOOB or Winkerbean. And no book-collections I can find aside from the one about the lousy Siamese, and the self-published Pibgorns.

    Meanwhile, in today’s MW, the fish is moving around on the wall.

  366. Ukulele Ike
    May 23rd, 2010 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    Note to self: Next time, READ ALL COMMENTS before discussing fish.

  367. John C Fremont
    May 23rd, 2010 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    MW – My theory on the fish is that he’s flying around and around the room, making the Jetsons’ car noise every time he buzzes passed Mary. But then, I’m off my medication.

  368. True Fable
    May 23rd, 2010 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Sam Driver’s Pretty People Posse! This is Woody Wilson’s way of saying, “Hey, y’all haven’t made a ‘Sam must be gay or something’ joke in a while!”

    Mary Worth, the Demon Meddler of Charterstone I like the way Mary is frowning as she says Bonnie may be improving her situation. “Damn it, she just may not need further meddling! Well, we’ll see about THAT!

    Luannadana I actually enjoyed Sunday’s strip, probably because it doesn’t have some nincompoop guy all gaga over Luann. Nope, just her and Tiffany, but Tiffany amuses me.

    The Amazing Word Box “Next: Endgame!” Oh, if only.

  369. TheDiva
    May 23rd, 2010 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: It’s so hard, isn’t it? I mean, if only Amazon had a page where you could review your order, and change it if there weren’t any errors, then we wouldn’t have these kinds of problems…

    Curtis: “Of course since we aren’t wearing 3D glasses, it all just looks like a big red blur…”

    FW: Summer is disappointed. She’d hoped she could escape her father’s obsessively intrusive behavior on social networking sites, but had underestimated his technological savvy. She tries to clue him in by suggesting she “needs her own space” but knows in her heart it’s a futile effort. Meanwhile Les smirks smugly, knowing Summer is now sufficiently cowed and will never attempt to assert even the slightest bit of independence again.

    MW: You’re all wrong. All this self-congratulating has inflated Mary’s already considerable ego to the point where it is actually distorting the physical space around her.

  370. commodorejohn
    May 23rd, 2010 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    Agnes – What Trout fails to consider is that, if you have the respect of a million people, you can soak them for way more than a million bucks. Just ask any televangelist.

    Bizarro – And some biker out there rushes into the tattoo parlor holding a copy of the Sunday funnies.

    BrS – I don’t think you’re allowed to lecture people on journalistic ethics when you just blackmailed the cops.

    BR – I fully intend to begin working the phrase “unlisted head” into casual conversation.

    Crankshaft – HO HO THE OLD PEOPLE THEY SURE ARE STUPID ARE THEY NOT? (Fun fact: Tom Batiuk is 63.)

    Curtis – Say what you will about Curtis, but I can’t be too harsh on anybody who honors the name of Harryhausen.

    DT – You know what’s even more humorously stupid than a week of Johnny Nothing having a pointless thought-balloon one-liner in the final panel? Having a Sunday recap where he does it in every other panel.

    FoxTrot – No Pac-Man tribute? I’m disappointed.

    FW – “See, I heard about how they’re basically trying to collect as much information on you as possible and share it with everyone they possibly can, to the point of deliberately obfuscating their user interface to prevent you from actually deleting your account. And to be perfectly frank, it’s bad enough having one obsessive psycho tracking my every movement and filing away everything I ever do for future reference.”

    JP – Oh lordy, the penultimate and antepenultimate panels. I was pretty sure it was just an amusing verbal misstep when Sam was all “if I were a woman I’d wear it!” two weeks ago, but I’m beginning to rethink that. It’s okay, Sam, I’m pretty sure Judge Parker is under the radar for the elderly letter-writing demographic.

    MW – Oh Jesus is that last panel chilling. Even the wall fish looks unsettled.

    MC – No, Jeff! Don’t follow Max! That leads to the Dark Side!

    PBS – This is why I use a text-only machine if I really need to get something written.

    Pickles – Earl would be a Plugger, except that he knows too much.

    PV – Prince Valiant just got even more kickass. If there’s one thing that this storyline really could use, it’s a Thulsa Doom type.

    RMMD – This is going to be so awesome.

    SF – Everybody who’s surprised, raise your hand. …that’s what I thought.

    SM – Ha ha, Wolverine shows up to do the superheroing Spidey won’t. AGAIN.

  371. TheDiva
    May 23rd, 2010 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#370) re: BR: I think “unlisted head” will be my new euphemism for stupidity. “Did you hear about the lady who’s suing her cell phone company because her husband figured out she was having an affair from the bill? Woman must have an unlisted head.”

  372. Vanya
    May 23rd, 2010 at 10:56 am [Reply]

  373. Vanya
    May 23rd, 2010 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    Sorry about that font problem there.

  374. zerowolf
    May 23rd, 2010 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    MW: That brown-biege glop was scallops?

  375. Sequitur
    May 23rd, 2010 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    Oy! That was some stew last night!

  376. zerowolf
    May 23rd, 2010 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    MW: The last time Blaze heard those words from his sister’s mouth was the incident that made him swear off women forever.

  377. zerowolf
    May 23rd, 2010 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    BB: Now we know the supplier to the Mill’s Gallery

  378. Sequitur
    May 23rd, 2010 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    And now for something completely different. a chick and her pussy.

  379. zerowolf
    May 23rd, 2010 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    FC: I’m not sure which is more surprising that Billy is allowed off the Kompound to go to public school or that he voluntarily returns.

  380. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 23rd, 2010 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#378): “forward, my epic steed!”

    on the subject of squee, just go to Daily Squee and bask in Labraday. There’s some mighty cute pics there.

  381. zerowolf
    May 23rd, 2010 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    RMMD: The alley is a dead end with no way out, except for the overhead door. Not exactly Mensa candidates working for the Glenwood PD.

  382. Sequitur
    May 23rd, 2010 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    When I read Mark Trail this morning I thought he said this…

  383. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 23rd, 2010 at 11:44 am [Reply]


    *dies of cute*

    once seen, it can’t be un-squeeeeen.

  384. Sequitur
    May 23rd, 2010 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#383): That otter be shown everywhere.

    ~~Ducks. Slides under the cushions.~~

  385. Sequitur
    May 23rd, 2010 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#354): Phasers on target, Captain.

  386. Ukulele Ike
    May 23rd, 2010 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    @Vanya (#372): Also, Brooke just had Nose Surgery. See last week’s excuse for not drawing the fairy porn.

  387. mollificent
    May 23rd, 2010 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Amateur (#363): I listened to the GOF Rifftrax last weekend, and lost track after the third or fourth CC in-joke. We see you, RiffLads! Come out come out! :D

    (My personal favorite line, probably somewhat mangled: “Wow, Victor Krum has quite a challenge ahead of him in this tournament. One opponent is meek, dainty and feminine, and the other is a French chick.” Rob Pattinson burn FTW!!)

  388. mollificent
    May 23rd, 2010 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    P.S. Re: MW, clearly Mary has been playing the ultra-maddening Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy text game, and has finally got the frigging towel, suitcase and mail placed so as to cause the Babelfish to fly into her ear. Sadistic bastards. (Yes, I’m sure I missed something.)

    Hey, I snarked! yay!

  389. mollificent
    May 23rd, 2010 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#383): I saw that “Hamma-time” on ICHC yesterday and almost “D’awwwwwww”‘d myself into a diabetic coma. ;) And that otter is RIDICULOUSLY adorable.

  390. Amateur
    May 23rd, 2010 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#387): Yeah, that one was AWESOME. :-) I haven’t finished the Trax yet, but already I’m thinking it’s one of their best ever. Every other riff was making me roll around laughing.

  391. Nick@Nite
    May 23rd, 2010 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

    Clue #637 that nobody likes Lu Ann’s flat, grade-school-level watercolors: Even when one of them hangs in her own home, at least 50% of it must be obstructed at all times.

    This may be the most poignant Family Circus yet. A weary, deflated Big Daddy Keane lies on his bed facing away from the doorway, not just to avoid Dolly and her latest puzzling malapropism, but also because he simply cannot bring himself to lay eyes on the bookshelf in the corner of the room, adorned by dozens of literary classics and a nearby lamp and easy chair, none of which have seen his occupancy in a long, long time. I once spent my afternoons savouring Shakespeare, dissecting Kafka and swooning over Elizabeth Barrett Browning, his expression seems to be saying, his mind struggling to remember the thrill of rhetorical whimsy that has long been abandoned for deeply begrudged nightly readings of watered-down Grimm fairy tales for his four retarded children.

  392. Eileen Tanner
    June 1st, 2010 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    Wow am I literally the only reply to your amazing writing!?

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