Five Thursday quickies
Spider-Man, 11/2/06
This is just one more reason to oppose out-of-control corporate media consolidation.
Crankshaft, 11/2/06
Not soon enough, you evil old man, not soon enough.
Gil Thorp, 11/2/06
“A tie, do you hear me, a tie! We’re monsters! What have we done? A tie!”
Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/2/06
Man, I think June played the race card kind of early in this dispute.
One Big Happy, 11/2/06
Hates boys? Sounds like she likes boys … a little too much.
…
OK, that … that was probably over the line.
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:28 pm
All week at the f’n DMV. All f’n week!
I gotta say, this is a totally awesome display of self-aware ironic metanarrative on the part of Rex Morgan, M.D.. And I suspect there’s a bar bet involved, too.
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:29 pm
“Forget about losing your job! I make plenty of money!”
Note the emphasis on “I”. Way to console your partner, there. Not at all self-centered sounding.
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:31 pm
Joe’s teacher pees on him?
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:32 pm
what are those guys doing in crankshaft? Was this revealed in a previous strip (I don’t read it).
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:32 pm
Hey, since Pluggers are animals, is a Plugger toilet a fire hydrant?
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:33 pm
Okay, according to the U.S. Department of Justice, only one third of all prison inmates are white. Yet in the last two days of Mary Worth we’ve seen four inmates and three guards, and three visitors (one of whom has a pinstripe suit that changes from lavender to red when she stands up), and every single person has been white.
I can only conclude it must be “Honky Day” at LeavenMaryWorth prison. There may have been a day at a prison somewhere in America where the visiting room held only white visitors, white guards and white inmates, but that hasn’t happened since the War on Minorities was launched under Reagan.
And what kind of meth was Tommy brewing up in that home lab of his? Where are his missing teeth? Why does his skin not hang in loose folds from the remains of his face?
Moy and Giella don’t merely live in a world populated by white people wearing color-changing clothes, they live in a world of happy handsome inmates, free of scars and tattoos, a world of side-effect-free methamphetamine that suggests itself as the driving force behind their bizzare writing.
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:34 pm
#5: Depends on the subspecies of Plugger. For some of them, as the saying goes, it’s “the woods.”
And as Josh has said many times, Spidey is such a piss-poor (no One Big Happy pun intended) excuse for a superhero lately that it seems perfectly reasonable for him to have to depend on his wife for financial support.
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:42 pm
OBH – I’m sure that level of kinkiness wasn’t implied, but if it appears in if it ever appears in MW or Foob then I will will take back every mean thing I’ve ever said about them. Well, I take that back. I forgot about Chinnuts missing his bedpan. Anyone else, though, would put some life in it.
MW – I hope that they have more thrilling prison scenes. It looks like Romper Room for adults. Tommy and his mom look like they’re going to start ripping into a polka. I just wish Lawrence Welk was alive to see this.
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:45 pm
Too bad Peter can’t support the family with his free-lance photo biz, but he can thrill to the sight of Hitler on the news. Here come ol’ Flattop, He comes groovin’ up slowly.
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:47 pm
6 – You have to keep in mind that all the images of the prison you are seeing are as seen through the eyes of Iris as a flashback — hence the bubbly panelling. It’s not that there weren’t minorities there, it’s that either 1) she failed to see them because they are invisible to her or 2) she is deliberately suppressing thos details from her flashback because she feels guilty or traumatized by their presence. Or see doesn’t want Mary to be offended by them. This could also explain Tommy’s appearence being unmarred by his addiction.
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:49 pm
Rex Morgan, M.D. is so unrealistic. In real life she would have spent a week in line, only to be turned away and sent to spend a week in a different line.
At least now we can look forward to several months of her trying to locate a second form of identification.
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:49 pm
RM – I hope this saga at the DMV ends with June getting deported or sent to Gitmo. That would be awesome.
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:53 pm
I have to admit that RMMD is making me scream silently. This is a something like throwing up in your mouth a little, except that it involves virtual eardrum damage but no rotten teeth. Anyway, I’m just… just speechless. What can the “authors” of this “story” possibly be planning?
Will it turn out that June really is an illegal alien? Or, better yet, an actual alien? Will she get mugged again on her way home? Or on the way back to the DMV with her actual birth certificate, after which she will forever be a nonperson?
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:54 pm
#6 — Thank you, Albatross. I’ve been griping about Tommy’s un-methlike appearance, and now I feel vindicated.
SPIDER-MAN: This site puts me in touch with comics I wouldn’t read otherwise, which is fun. However, I’m a little sad to see how crabby Peter has become, compared to when I knew him years ago. His facial expression in the final panel is positively disturbing. MJ, on the other hand, hasn’t changed a bit.
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:54 pm
That DMV clerk has . . . man hands! [shudder]
November 2nd, 2006 at 5:55 pm
That Gil Thorp doesn’t make any sense. It’s like the Garfield randomizer, only with Gil Thorp.
Also, I really, really like that lady working for the DMV’s sense of humor. Delightful.
November 2nd, 2006 at 6:00 pm
June Morgan – Hottest comic character . . . . EVER!
November 2nd, 2006 at 6:00 pm
Well, you know the Chatterstone motto: Thank You for Not Discussing Unpleasantness. I imagine they still have a tacit no minority restriction. Not that any self respecting member of any miniority would want to live there, not even a couple of elderly interior designers with a French bulldog, Somewhere in Santa Royale, there’s probably a vibrant multi-cultural district with great ethnic restaurants, street festivals and a thriving arts scene. Maybe even some school age kids! But we’ll never get to see it. Any color other than a tasteful griege would send these geriatic WASPs into terminal culture shock.
November 2nd, 2006 at 6:01 pm
A Gil Thorp randomizer would be the Gil Thorp strips.
November 2nd, 2006 at 6:05 pm
This week’s Rex Morgan, M.D., with special guest writer Franz Kafka. Tomorrow, June will be executed by having the words “failed to bring proper I.D. while requesting new license” carved into her flesh with a giant needle.
November 2nd, 2006 at 6:06 pm
Ah, the unlikely healthiness of Tommy the Tweaker…
I knew a former crankhead (thats what we call meth addicts ’round here) who got off the stuff and at the time I ran into him, about a year after he quit/got out of jail, was in relatively robust good health, eating right, getting lots of excercise and sleep, etc. His teeth (completely ravaged) and a skin condition that looked like bad acne scars were the only giveaway. He lapsed back into his habit and subsequently died awhile back.
Maybe Tommy was just making really weaksauce shit.
November 2nd, 2006 at 6:09 pm
#14- Poteet, you’re dead on. Spidey looks like Anakin Skywalker in the middle of the last Star Wars movie, or Christopher Reeve in Superman 3 after he’s handed the funky kryptonite. Is he about to turn evil? I haven’t followed the story lately, so I don’t know if this is a possibility.
#6 – There are some states where almost the entire population is white (Maine, Vermont). So I’d guess that most of the prison population there is white as well. Mary Worth has bigger problems than an inaccurate portrayal of the U.S. prison population.
#13 – Fear not, Old Fogeyette. This is a typical pattern in Rex Morgan storylines, I’ve noticed. Wilson and Nolan haven’t thought about where they want the story to go next, so they stall and have a week of “plot” that has little to do with anything. They’ll somehow be right back to the frizzy haired drug lady soon and a resolution of the storyline sometime before Easter. I agree that this storyline blows serious chunks. For me it’s less like a silent scream and more like a bit drill slicing through my skull. But I’m with ya.
November 2nd, 2006 at 6:10 pm
Obviously, Tommy was sent to the Woody Allen Correctional Facility for White Offenders.
November 2nd, 2006 at 6:11 pm
Anyone else find today’s Bizarro a little surprisingly political? Not that I didn’t enoy it, just seemed a little harder-hitting than he usually is.
November 2nd, 2006 at 6:14 pm
But was it ever implied that Tommy was a heavy user of “stuff?” I thought he wanted the dream lab so he could sell it.
November 2nd, 2006 at 6:18 pm
# 6 “Inmates” are found in Asylums, the residents of a Prison are more correctly referred to as “Prisoners”. Has a minority EVER appeared in Mary Worth? I’m with you on Reagan tho, AIDS started around 1982, Crack caught on in 1985, coincidence?? I think not.
November 2nd, 2006 at 6:24 pm
Thanks for the clarification Frank. By that definition, we are all Inmates of Mary Worth.
November 2nd, 2006 at 6:25 pm
21 – We used to call them tweakers here. But now I just call them soulless sacks of decaying bone.
Meanwhile, in Lost Forest…
It’s a good thing our hero found that magic lantern. I hope it has a genie because he’ll need it when Leatherface returns to finish gutting that deer.
November 2nd, 2006 at 6:34 pm
Fairly recent reader, first-time poster. Just wanted to say, thanks, Curmudgeon, for putting voice to things I’ve thought for awhile but was afraid to say out loud. That Pluggers are really pretty scary (in a Unabomber way), Crankshaft is an asshole, B.C. is uncomfortably Jesusy (ironic, for a strip titled “B.C.”) and Mary Worth is… well, words fail me there. Also, I honestly didn’t realize that Gil Thorp, Rex Morgan, Apt. 3-G and Mary Worth were still being published. So thanks for that info. No wonder my local (Dallas) comics section is 3 pages long.
November 2nd, 2006 at 6:36 pm
What I want to know is if this could be the moment for the long awaited Rex Morgan, M.D. and Mary Worth, Certified Meddler crossover we have all been waiting for. The reappearance of Tommy just as Rex Morgan’s peaceful life is invaded by meth labs seems too perfect to be coincidental.
I look forward to seeing Mary meddle in the Morgan’s life.
I picture them meeting in a hospital when Rex deals with a tragic overdose in his free clinic. While he’s there, he discovers Dr. Troy Gainer has found a new job when he’s introduced by Mary Worth in her volunteer disguise.
(I secretly believe Mary Worth only volunteers so she can check out what ailments her neighbors are coming down with and find the best way to meddle.)
November 2nd, 2006 at 6:46 pm
So, Gil Thorp…
Three panels with different characters in each of them. The dialogue seems somehow related, yet makes absolutely no coherent sense. The locales jump from outside to inside (a classroom? office?) to a diner.
Who are these people? WTF are they talking about?
It’s just like that time I took mushrooms in college, except it’s not in color.
November 2nd, 2006 at 7:05 pm
If I were Peter Parker I’d let MJ try the crime-fighting on for size too, if she wants to be such a professional clothes-originally-designed-for-men-wearing woman. Let’s see how Miss Watson would do facing down EGO, THE LIVING PLANET!!! Oh wait, Spider-Man would get his ass kicked in that situation too. Nevermind.
November 2nd, 2006 at 7:07 pm
RE: One Big Happy. Not only was that over the line – you can’t even see the line from there. It’s so far over that I had read the comic and your comment several times before the beautiful sickness of it all dawned on me. So, I guess if there were a Director’s Cut of this comic, it would feature the Real final panel of this comic, in which Grampa would be heard to say: “You’re a lucky boy, Joe. I used to have to pay women to pee on me.”
That is what you were suggesting, isn’t it? Please god say ‘yes.’ Otherwise, I have gone very dark, all on my own. Uncomfortable!
November 2nd, 2006 at 7:11 pm
#6..hey did you notice the other racist elements in the strips featured today? That looks almost like a “KKK” in that first panel of Spiderman..altho its probably some variant of a swastika.. And that new Anchorman looks alot like a former German Chancelor..”Jonah Jameson”? yeah right. Crankshaft has obviously walked right past a drug deal of some kind. No people of color in any of those strips either.
November 2nd, 2006 at 7:14 pm
Don’t worry, Rex (#33), we’re both sick and wrong in the same way. Dr. Shrinker (#31), I sooo very much can’t be bothered to update you on what the hell is going in Gil Thorp, but check out the awesome This Week In Milford:
http://gilthorp.wordpress.com/
You’ll learn that “Karen Mazo” is the real mayor of a pissant town in Michagin.
November 2nd, 2006 at 7:19 pm
I think Mary Worth is coming to an end.
And I don’t mean the strip, per-se, I think the world of Mary Worth is about to come to a firey apocalypse. And I’ll tell you why.
Mary has proven the raw, evil power of her meddling in the past. Aldo’s rapdily-burning-due-to-high-liquer-concentration-corpse can testify to that (and would, if there was justice in the world). But now a new meddler arrives. And when she meddles things turn out good. Not just good, but stupidly good, practically saintly. Not only is Tommy turning a corner, he’s found Jesus and he’s slowly metamorphosing into a character from the Family Circus. Nex thing you know our new meddler will smack some humility into Prof Chinbeard, restore Wilmur’s hair, broker middle-east peace, aid in the rescue of Molly and perhaps even manage to make Garfield funny again. Only then will we find out that she is truely the Anti-Worth, and the two of them will do battle in Meggido for the souls of all mankind.
Shudder, Toby, and repent, for the end times are near!
Spider-Man – I think Peter’s just upset that he no longer needs to live a double life. Sure, he could just superhero full time and not have to worry about nosey editors or casual worktime acquaintences checking his collar to find the longjohns, but deep down, he’s just an Xtreme sports-style thrillseeker. He swings around tall buildings, fights people who can benchpress government buildings, and lays into gun-wielding thugs without hesitation. And the deepest thrill, surely, has to be the revalation of his secret identity. He’s so sloppy with it, so clumsy with the very idea, I think he’s doing it on purpose, daring the universe to unmask him, just for the kicks.
Don’t worry, Peter, you may have lost your excuse to hang out with a nest of inquisitve reporters, but now you’re going to be tailed 24-7 by the paparatzi, who are going to be extra-intersted in why a hollywood starlet is married to an unemployed ex-photographer for New York’s premere Hitler Impersonator.
November 2nd, 2006 at 7:30 pm
SM: Peter Parker has the proportionate earning power of a spider.
Seriously, Petey, just face the fact that you are useless at both your photojournalism and superheroism careers, and stop acting like you’re gonna loose your spinnerets because your wife makes more money than you do.
RMMD: So how much longer before the people in line behind June tell her to quit arguing and get the [Margo] out of the way?
November 2nd, 2006 at 7:33 pm
Gil Thorp: bringing you three badly-drawn and apparently unrelated panels of non-sequitur confusion since whenever the hell it started.
November 2nd, 2006 at 7:53 pm
What’s with the lettering in Gil Thorp? I feel like this is a 4×3 comic being played on a 16×9 strip.
The sultry exchange of looks in the last two panels of Rex Morgan, M.D. leads me to believe there is a passionate lip-lock not far in the future.
November 2nd, 2006 at 7:57 pm
#14: Panel 3 of Spider Man disturbed me as well, until I realized that Peter’s rehearsing. I am looking forward to his upcoming role in A Streetcar Named Desire.
#31: Though disjointed, the chronology in Gil Thorp is necessary. If the story was told in a remotely straightforward fashion, the audience might have seen not the remote aftermath of an event– Stormy’s undeserved award ceremony– but the event itself. As is well-known, if anything of import is actually shown in the Thorpiverse, rather than obliquely referred to, all Thorpian life will end. A narrow escape for our heroes.
November 2nd, 2006 at 8:04 pm
KLIK ? boo.
November 2nd, 2006 at 8:10 pm
B.C. I thought the answer would be “A crick in the neck”
Pluggers. Have expanded. Now every old person qualifies – period. Poor Crankshaft – evil old man and plugger.
November 2nd, 2006 at 8:11 pm
MT: Check out how Andy is aghast, just *aghast* at what he sees! Now there’s an animal that understands hostility! Too bad Mark is typically bored about all the defenestrated animals, but it’s not like he’s the GAME WARDEN or anything.
November 2nd, 2006 at 8:25 pm
Next in Spiderman:
Peter develops a severe drinking problem. MJ returns from the set every evening to find him hanging around (literally) drunk and deeply depressed, slowly edging his way toward psychosis.
November 2nd, 2006 at 8:28 pm
RMMD – It seems to me we have a much more exciting storyline with Niki, Crackhead Mom, and Elvis – neglect, abuse, drugs, and possible broken jaws. So why are we spending a week at the DMV with June?
November 2nd, 2006 at 8:36 pm
SM: Peter’s a true butthole. Man, if MJ wanted to support me, I wouldn’t hesitate, I’d go right up and take a liquid dump right on Ol’ JJ Hitler’s desk.
GA: I’m hoping Walt will freeze to death or get splatted by a car. C’mon, Walt, give up and die, you’re 110 years old already.
Phantom: You know what? Why haven’t the Phantom and Tarzan gotten together in all their years of protecting the simple savages of darkest Africa?
November 2nd, 2006 at 8:36 pm
#30 — Rex Morgan vs. Mary Worth? Now, that’s a clash of the titans I’d cough up $29.95 to see on pay-per-view. Sounds like an epic Highlander moutaintop-level battle. Winner takes on Judge Parker.
“There can be only one!!!!”
November 2nd, 2006 at 8:37 pm
#46 — Sounds like a slash fic waiting to happen.
November 2nd, 2006 at 8:50 pm
#26 Frank Drackman says:
“Inmates†are found in Asylums, the residents of a Prison are more correctly referred to as “Prisonersâ€.
??? *head*bobble*
Uhm, not according to any dictionary I’ve ever referenced. An inmate is someone who has been confined to an institution housing a number of occupants, such as a prison or a hospital. The word is not specific to asylums.
I would cite my source like a good ex-librarian, but I don’t have to — it’s in The Dictionary (any of ‘em).
November 2nd, 2006 at 9:02 pm
Well, there was a minority person of some sort hanging out at the Downtown Women’s Shelter: http://joshreads.com/?p=385
Specifically, the person is mustard yellow in color. I’m not sure what race that is supposed to be exactly.
November 2nd, 2006 at 9:03 pm
#43 Tice
Word cop! Pull over, please. I see no animals thrown out of windows in this strip, one “Mark Trail”. And, since that is the definition of “defenestrate,” I’m afraid I’m going to have to write you up.
November 2nd, 2006 at 9:04 pm
#50 Mazeville.
Mustard yellow? He’s a Simpson. Probably Bart’s second cousin once removed.
November 2nd, 2006 at 9:10 pm
RMMD: Actually, June, I don’t know if you’re legal per se, but you do kinda look like a Romulan in panel #2. And DMV lady is my new favorite character… she’s snarkalicious!
November 2nd, 2006 at 9:13 pm
i was just going over some sample problems for my MPRE this weekend and i caught myself saying “Man, this would be so much better if Scaduto wrote the problems!”
That is, I’d probably be able to easily identify which lawyers were being unethical in the samples if they had names like Barfo, Barfwell, Groner, or Migraina. Hekkie or Lulula would be the well-meaning but ultimately brain-dead junior associates.
really, just pity me for EVER finding a good use for TDIET.
November 2nd, 2006 at 9:19 pm
So, you’re probably wondering what that lump is in the cot in 3G.
It’s a giant cockroach!
After all, this strip is set in Manhattan.
November 2nd, 2006 at 9:23 pm
Spiderman is becoming one of those anti-hero heroes, only instead of angst and dark-brooding, he’s just a whinny white boy with masculinity issues, good god almighty what I’d do to have my spouse be able to support me so I could go and take photographs and fight crime all day.
November 2nd, 2006 at 9:27 pm
You were over the line! How dare you insult fire hydrants, do you think they LIKE being peed upon?! I can assure you, they do not. They simply wish to be left alone until they are called to duty. Their only wish is to help rescue a house, a family photograph, a child, or, yes, even a family dog. Is this the way you treat our heroes? Shame!
November 2nd, 2006 at 9:31 pm
RMMD: June blew it. Mrs. Manly-hands probably lost her entire family in the journey from Chile to the US. Now she’s in a position of power to deny licenses to whitebreads, and June just crapped on her memories. Too bad, biotch.
November 2nd, 2006 at 9:39 pm
Niki is going to the dmv to get his learner permit wearing his Gatorade hoodie, 2 and 2 will be put together, June gets her identity restored. The End.
November 2nd, 2006 at 9:40 pm
#54 — if the MPRE questions were written MW-style, it would be even easier. The unethical lawyers would have names like “Dab Walyer” or
“Levi Rat Tony” and all you’d have to do is anagram.
A word to the wise — the correct answer on the MPRE is almost never what a normal sane ethical person would do, it’s the answer that comes closest to the line without actually crossing it. The PTB want to know whether you’ve memorized the rules rather than whether your instincts are in fact professionally responsible. Good luck!
November 2nd, 2006 at 9:43 pm
I love DMV Lady. I want her to move in next door to me. She is a goddess. And her hair has its’ own zip code. Write in DMV Lady on every slot on your ballot on Tuesday. You know you want her in Washington, wonking for you.
November 2nd, 2006 at 9:51 pm
I like that the in it’s attempt to offer the many different exciting perspectives of it’s multi-faceted characters, Gil Thorp has turned into some kind of zen quasi-haiku/ koan…since I haven’t followed the strip in days, and I don’t know what is going on, it is as meaningless as any three panels strung together randomly could be. An empty string of actions and reactions, ultimately winding up saying and meaning nothing: Gil Thorp.
November 2nd, 2006 at 9:59 pm
What the hell is “Gil Thorp”? Seriously? There are all these people talking but no-one’s saying anything.
November 2nd, 2006 at 10:00 pm
Spider-man has turned into a sexist fool. I used to really like Spidey, but now I wish Catwoman would cross-over and kick his whiney ass.
November 2nd, 2006 at 10:01 pm
Thank Gawd this is a first for me: I . . . I actually identified w/ Crankshaft in that strip (and that strip ONLY!) In my 40’s, I’m just old enough to hope he goes Poltergeist on those two li’l bastards.
November 2nd, 2006 at 10:07 pm
Oh, come on, you know those kids are going to go ‘Clockwork Orange’ on Crankshaft.
November 2nd, 2006 at 10:11 pm
#43 — “Eviscerated” (having the guts removed) is the word you wanted. “Defenestrated” means something has been thrown out of a window.
Grammar Nazi mode off.
November 2nd, 2006 at 10:12 pm
GT: They’re not really unrelated panels, since Stormy is in all three of them. In the first one he walks with his girlfriend, complaining about the award he will shortly receive. In the second, his Dad (the one in the tie) and the principal look on adoringly as the mayor gives him the award. And in the third, he complains about said tie to his friend, the actual hero.
November 2nd, 2006 at 10:24 pm
Ah, OK, now I think I understand what’s happening in Gil Thorp.
I’ll update you if any caring happens. Seems unlikely.
November 2nd, 2006 at 10:26 pm
MF – How about “Duck is the new Chicken” for a slogan?
November 2nd, 2006 at 10:31 pm
#67 Len
Hey, back off, man! #43 Tice is MY caller. You’re out of your jurisdiction, so why don’t you just go on back to gramm-o-fascist-land.
…Good call on the actual intended word identification though. *scuffs*boot*
November 2nd, 2006 at 10:40 pm
Line? Oh THAT line back there!
November 2nd, 2006 at 10:41 pm
June Morgan – Hottest comic character . . . . EVER!
That little cowlick in the second panel…she’s out-Margoing Margo!
And with Bernice’s homespun, Jamie’s-got-a-gun, ugly hotness, all my comic fantasies are coming true!
November 2nd, 2006 at 10:50 pm
#73: Yeah June’s pretty hot- for a pampered rich lady who’s ready to call her lawyer at the first sign of things not going her way. I’ll still take Margo, because Margo is street people. She wouldn’t even go to the DMV. margo is such a badass, she just steals a car whenever she needs one and then dumps it off at the chop shop when she’s done. Margo is GOD! I exist to be crushed under her iron hand. Also, Margo told me if I didn’t post this, she’ll beat me until I wet myself again.
November 2nd, 2006 at 10:56 pm
With One Big Happy making golden shower references, watch for Arlo and Janice to namecheck Cleveland Steamers just to keep their reputation as The Smuttiest Strip In Print intact.
November 2nd, 2006 at 10:58 pm
#49 et al: the current term for inhabitants of a correctional facility is “offenders.”
http://www.aca.org
Just so you know.
November 2nd, 2006 at 11:01 pm
Dudes… June Morgan doesn’t have a chance.
I can’t believe anyone didn’t pick up on this, notice the DMV lady’s dress? Dorito shaped splots?
It’s JOLENE RAPTOR from Gil Thorp!!!! Rap Dog’s momma! It’s perfect! Jolene’s the ideal type to work at the DMV.
BTW jouster, the hottest comic character ever (daily newspaper division)? Brandy from Liberty Meadows. Check out http://www.libertymeadows.com/ .
November 2nd, 2006 at 11:04 pm
#76
Yes, but that’s just jargon. I’m talking about actual English ;)
November 2nd, 2006 at 11:07 pm
Crankshaft MUST be getting old.
Back in the day, Ol’ Crank- everybody’s favorite feisty crack-pot old timer- would have sliced those two young no-goodniks (and you know, you KNOW! those two punks are up to something rotten) to the very quick with one of his patented Crankshaft carbuncular zingers. The sort of riposte that would make Mallard Fillmore green with envy. But now, nowadays he just glumly meanders around, going nowhere in particular, not only ignoring the insolent dismissal he’s suffered from those hooligans but also paying no mind whatsoever to whatever outrage it is they’re planning to perpetrate on Lisa’s.
Crankshaft is about as useless and forgotten as the blank space on his “gimme” cap.
November 2nd, 2006 at 11:16 pm
17 – You know, she does look kind of like Desire from Sandman.
20 – Or maybe she could stand outside a city gate for the rest of her life.
November 2nd, 2006 at 11:27 pm
BTW jouster, the hottest comic character ever (daily newspaper division)? Brandy from Liberty Meadows.
Oh, I’m familiar with Brandy’s pneumatic charms, and Jen’s slammin’ left hook….. Go Terps!
But how can they compare to June and Margo’s urban sophistication and willingness to wield the whip? And if a guy can’t spend his declining decades projecting fun-hating, frizzy-haired shoegazer nerd chicks into his high school revisionist oeuvre, then I don’t want to be right….or something.
The Bernices….they were supposed to like the shy, sensitive guys? As opposed to crushing their hopes and dreams and souls?
Yeah. That’s what I thought.
November 2nd, 2006 at 11:31 pm
Mary Jane’s cheekbones are so sharp and her jaw is so manlike that I now believe Spiderman is the first comic to deal with transgender relationships.
November 2nd, 2006 at 11:39 pm
Just what the hell is going on in [i]Crankshaft?[/i] Near as I can tell, we have a couple of teenage boys engaging in one of three things:
- Drug dealing,
- Extremely close-range fisticuffs,
- Forbidden, but oh-so-delicious love.
Any of the three are relevant to my interests.
November 2nd, 2006 at 11:42 pm
#63–More information about Gil Thorp can be found in the Interent.
11-1–Zits: RichandAmy broke up? Gee, Jon Arbuckle gets a steading girlfriend, RichandAmy break up, and I’m acutally reading “Mary Worth” all in the same year.
MW: Speaking of MW, I get the feeling that born again Tommy is about to get killed by a couple of converts to Islam.
FW: Wasn’t insanely low self-esteem the reason the 9-11 attacks happened?
RMMD: What would be interesting is if somebody tried to impersonate Mrs. RMMD. ANYTHING would be more interesting than reading about her trip to the DMV.
Born Loser: Fat jokes aren’t funny unless they’re told by Art Carney or Audrey Meadows.
Foob: Is “Hang In” Canadian, sort of like ending every sentence with “eh?” Bikini Girl’s group is still going to win the contest. Remember kids, if talent actually meant something in the music business, Kelly Clarkson’s recording career would have been as wretched as her movie career.
Peanuts: Is it me, or are all the “Great Pumpkin” strips weird? It’s sort of as if Schulz is making fun out of religious faith. Considering he was a religious man himselk, that’s odd.
Non-Sequitur. Somebody ought to send a letter to Beakman asking why quacking ducks don’t make an echo.
November 2nd, 2006 at 11:53 pm
Jonnya, I hope you don’t mind if I link to your 4-Evah song on FOOBiverse!
I predict that whatever happens, whether April saves the day or just watches Becky sweat it out, and whether that leads to Becky salvaging the act or just throwing in the towel, Becky will be humbled. At first she’ll be upset because she lost the high-school-goddess status she worked so hard for, but then she’ll realize that now she’s free of the constant pressure to be perfect, and she’ll be relieved. She will apologize to April, for being the object of April’s obsessive bitterness, but not to Shannon.
Also, Becky asking if the audience is ready to rock is wildly inappropriate. Becky is a pop princess, like Britney/Christina/Ashlee/et.al. Pop singers do not rock. Not that I’d expect Lynn to know the difference; I’m just saying. But no one who exposes her navel on stage talks about being ready to rock.
November 3rd, 2006 at 12:30 am
#84 Doug- Re: Peanuts: Schultz isn’t making fun of religious belief with the whole Great Pumpkin schick, he’s just making fun of wrong and ridiculous religious beliefs.
Huh.
I guess unintentional self-mockery is the fate of any cartoonist. Any honest one, that is.
November 3rd, 2006 at 12:31 am
#10: You have to keep in mind that all the images of the prison you are seeing are as seen through the eyes of Iris as a flashback: tomorrow’s strip: a 360-degree pan showing first a bunch of nice old, flower-hatted old ladies, and then, in the exact same positions…a group of grim-looking, uniformed commie bastards! Yes! And Frank Sinatra was there, and Angela Lansbury, and Laurence Harvey, and…
November 3rd, 2006 at 12:32 am
I meant “schtick” not schick. Don’t defenestrate me!
November 3rd, 2006 at 12:34 am
Those boys dismissing Crankshaft are clearly exchanging Garbage Pail Kids trading cards. So yes, they are up to no good. No good indeed.
November 3rd, 2006 at 12:48 am
Hey Josh, thanks for the latest shoutout to This Week in Milford, but I feel like I should issue a warning: This blog should only be read by individuals deranged enough to want to follow the world of Gil Thorp on a regular basis. I urge you to stay away if you have any shred of sanity left in you. Having now maintained this thing for over three months, I fear deeply for my own sanity…
November 3rd, 2006 at 1:05 am
#84 — you raise some interesting points.
“More information about Gil Thorp can be found in the Internet.” — that’s the problem. I still don’t understand it, except that now I know it’s written by one of those batshit insane “Left Behind” dudes.
“Somebody ought to send a letter to Beakman asking why quacking ducks don’t make an echo.” — I remember this as being an emailed thing when email was a novelty. Anyway, Mythbusters did it. “Quack, damn you!”
November 3rd, 2006 at 1:16 am
#75 – Janis is more of an A2M kinda gal.
November 3rd, 2006 at 1:20 am
My mother had a teacher in high school who apparently once modeled nude in an issue of Playboy. Everyone in the school knew about it, and even she was teaching at the high school I went to, everybody still talked about it.
My mother hated her with a passion, and I’ll be damned if she’s the only person I’ve ever seen my mother cower away from. The only reason I’m bringing this up is because this particular teacher seemed to hate all the girls in her classes (or so my mother claimed).
… Just a thought.
November 3rd, 2006 at 1:28 am
As long as we’re getting all grammatical here:
it’s is a contraction meaning “it is.”
its is a possessive meaning “belonging to it.”
its’ means “I don’t know how to apostrophize this word so I’m taking random guesses.”
November 3rd, 2006 at 1:33 am
I’ve been “reading” Gil Thorp since I started visiting this site, about a month. I have never been able to make sense of it. Not just the storylines, but the individual sentences. I agree with the commenters who suggested it is completely random, it is the only thing that makes “sense”.
November 3rd, 2006 at 1:35 am
RMMD: Just as I suspected, we’re getting closer and closer to the inevitable confluence of medical-attention-seeking Nikki Starfishhair and medican-attention-providing Dr. Mrs. Morgan. Will the sparks fly, or will we all learn a valuable life lesson?
November 3rd, 2006 at 1:58 am
11/3 –
Foob — And now the fringe on Apwil’s pants has descended again. It must have taken lessons from Tommy the Tweaker’s hair.
RMMD — Yes, June is hot, but I think Margo is hotter. From a strictly objective point of view, of course.
MT — How the (Margo) can Mark know that Molly is still alive just from hoisting a small smelly paper package in a dark dank cave full of rotting…oh never mind, it’s Elrod’s world and we’re just gaping at it.
November 3rd, 2006 at 2:14 am
I think GT is on the verge of something groundbreaking. Instead of spending a few days on one storyline, then jumping to another for a few days (as RMMD is doing now, for instance), we are apparently headed toward a format where three panels each apply to a different storyline each day. I think it will prove to be an excellent idea. Two panels were always for rehashing the previous day, anyway. The new format will weed out the casual observers, but us hardcores will get a new tidbit of each plot simultaneously every day. Triple the glacial pace equals three times the fun!
November 3rd, 2006 at 2:16 am
#96 both.
November 3rd, 2006 at 2:19 am
Mark Trail – Is anyone else shocked that a park ranger who knows the ins and outs of licorice and tsunamis doesn’t know what kind of animal is hanging there? Gee, Sherlock, it’s a large, brown tetrapod with hooves, fur, and antlers. But those clues are lost on Mark; he’s reduced to asking a dog what a deer looks like.
Also, what state puts people away for “several years” for killing a deer, even without a license?
FBoFW – Mean, mean April. I’m disappointed with Lynn, unless the lesson learned here is that April should be nice to people when bad things happen to them, even if they are bitches. But this is FBoFW, so Lynn will find some way for April to pour salt into that wound and maybe even have all the kids laugh at Rebecca while the ghost plays the Hose-a-Phonium. A little bit of my respect for Canada dies each time I read FBoFW.
November 3rd, 2006 at 2:19 am
Octal says:
17 – You know, she does look kind of like Desire from Sandman.
Oh my god. You’re totally right!! Now I’m going to wait until the inevitable end of the DMV lady as she is pulled into Desire’s irresistable charm. Then, maybe, the other Endless will show up and everything in that strip will make sense. Maybe.
November 3rd, 2006 at 3:03 am
Is it just me, or does Tommy the Tweaker suddenly look a lot like Brad Pitt? Except Brad Pitt would probably lose the “I’m a Dork” pony-tail. And he probably would have a full-size bible. Oh, yeah, and he probably would be in prison just for bad acting, instead of dealing drugs. Silly me.
November 3rd, 2006 at 3:08 am
Ohhh, I get it, the psychic will tell Mary (Worth)about the Thai, ahem, person her non sexual beau is balls deep in.
November 3rd, 2006 at 3:56 am
if I were Mary Jane I would get that huge lump on the side of my face in the first panel checked out!
November 3rd, 2006 at 4:09 am
A quacking duck does echo, but it sounds like a gunshot coming from a grassy knoll.
November 3rd, 2006 at 4:13 am
36. Trent – A Mary Worth apocalypse: Holy f’n amen!
43. Tice – Well, don’t feel bad: We probably all remember that Buck, Molly’s non-ursus life partner, was defenestrated from his pickup truck when they flew off a cliff as a result of a high speed bear-on-man french kiss, and that’s the root of all this deeply upsetting bear trouble. I don’t know if Buck was eviscerated in the crash, though, and if I hit the Chron to find out it’ll take all night.
People – stop keeping me up like this! You’re killin me!
November 3rd, 2006 at 4:21 am
FBoFW is just ridiculous, both Thursday’s and Friday’s –well of course it is, you say, it’s fbofw– but people are whispering about “her guitarist looks like he’s been drinking!” and “a couple of people in her band are stoned!” like they’re tweaking on meth here.
I get that they’re performing in a school so it’s a major faux pas, but I can’t imagine alcohol or pot are newfound vices for these men, so by now they should just be using them to function somewhat normally–meaning their performance quality shouldn’t be especially affected. They should have performed under the influence enough that no one knows they should be acting any different — “Jimmy sure smells strange!” “Oh, that’s just the smell he gives off when he’s playing guitar.” End of story.
November 3rd, 2006 at 6:06 am
RMMD: June: Lady, can’t you see I’m white?! White people don’t have to wait in these long lines or get asked for identification! I’m also a doctor’s wife! Don’t you know what that means?!
November 3rd, 2006 at 6:59 am
Spiderman- what a lackadaisical nobody of a pseudo-perhero!
Parker’s shocked -SHOCKED- at being fired? When was the last time we saw that loser actually take a photo? This, of course, is after all the ostensible reason why J. Jonah Shicklgruber kept him on the payroll for so long. I know that if all I do is sit around all day watching TV and doing nothing, my boss gets edgy after ONLY A COUPLE HOURS or so.
And whatever happened to Doc Ock? “Oh, he got the money and got away” says Spidey. “I guess, you know- well since he’s got away and shit, I may as well just go and watch some T.V. I mean, shit, he … uh …. got away. Maybe the cops’ll catch him sometime. Anyway, its not my problem.”
Dedicated crime-fighter, he! With such a vestigial work ethic, I don’t understand why he has such a problem with being supported by his wife. Nor do I understand why MJ doesn’t dump his lame ass like the lame ass he is, and get down with the Phantom.
That dude ROCKS.
November 3rd, 2006 at 7:09 am
Friday Foob: Egad! It appears that Becky is so freakin distraught that she’s laying in an Upper Decker!
November 3rd, 2006 at 7:09 am
Upper Decker: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Upper+Decker
November 3rd, 2006 at 7:20 am
Next week: Drunk on pulque, Mrs. Morgan in a sombrero leans against a cactus as she waits for a dry-walling gig outside of a Home Depot in Brownsville.
November 3rd, 2006 at 7:34 am
#84, 86: You mean was, not is, with respect to any of Charles Schultz’s actions. These are “Classic Peanuts” strips from 1959, so his attitudes must be seen from a historical perspective. Charles Schultz has been dead for several years now and is probably spending eternity either finding out how wrong he was to doubt the Great Pumpkin, or discovering that it is a violation of the First (or Second, depending on your particular Judeo-Christian sect) Commandment to create even a fictionalized idol or religion, as Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle pointed out in their updated Inferno.
FBOFW: I thought you guys were being a little harsh on this strip, but April and Eva’s smugness in the face of roor Rebeccah’s misery and public humiliation makes me think you’ve been letting these Foobs off easy. And…April? Bare feet in the toilet area of a public bathroom? Ewwwwwwwwww!
November 3rd, 2006 at 7:38 am
Oh, and I just noticed this…
Gayest. Herman. Ever.
Male waiter says to frumpy middle-aged male diner: “Grab your bread roll. It’s in my pocket.”
November 3rd, 2006 at 7:47 am
MW: Oh man, Iris is so dead… If I’ve learned anything by watching the TV show Lost, it’s that when a character is finally “at peace” with herself (like Iris today), that character is killed at the end of the episode. Goodbye Iris. Someone will find your body in a couple of weeks. You’ll be rotting in an easy chair, tiny bible clutched in your hands, beatific smile on your face.
Say hi to Aldo for us!
November 3rd, 2006 at 8:04 am
June Morgan confesses to being Juanita “J-Ho” Velasquez, Univision cue-card holder and occasional fluffer on Sabado Gigante….
hottest. comic. chick. 4EVAH
November 3rd, 2006 at 8:08 am
#94 -pedant;
The way I was taught by my high school English teacher:
If it’s it is it’s it’s.
If it isn’t it is it’s its.
Unfortunately, she was lecturing at the time.
November 3rd, 2006 at 8:21 am
11/3/06: B.C. has just employed a “joke” (quotes intended to distance this writer from the term) about old women drinking Jack Daniels. Does this seem like humor that would come from a truly reformed alcoholic?
How many more signs do we need that Johnny Hart is off the wagon? I’ve said it before, people: we are the only community capable of reading these signals and staging an intervention. Failure to act in this case will constitute — well, let’s just say our heads will be boggling at Mr. Hart’s funeral when the young preacher asks for a comment.
November 3rd, 2006 at 8:23 am
Also 11/3/06: Our entry to the first sex fantasy sequence in Dick Tracy history.
November 3rd, 2006 at 8:25 am
Yeah, June is hot in a classic sort of way but Margo’s edgy in that do-her-and-then-run-like-hell sort of way. Overlooked in all this is Abbey from JP who has the one property that trumps the others: horniness and has a hubby can’t cannot, will not satisfy her. In strictly pragmatic terms, that is HOT!
November 3rd, 2006 at 8:32 am
03Nov’s Mary Worth: Tommy’s Bible is actually shrinking. He’s either holding it upside-down, or it’s now small enough that the word “Bible” no longer fits on the cover.
Maybe it’s a special inflatable prison Bible that conveniently shrinks for easy rectal insertion and removal.
November 3rd, 2006 at 8:39 am
So Johnny Hart’s off the wagon? That MIGHT explain today’s…episode. I’m a knitter, so I was totally put off by the apostrophic reference to “knits and purls,” like they don’t really exist, or like people who think they exist need a little hard liquor just to get through the day. Or something.
What goes “skritch-skritch-glug, skritch-skritch-glug”? Johnny Hart slamming back “Jack Daniels” after drawing each “funny caveman.”
November 3rd, 2006 at 8:42 am
Did anyone else see the lopsided quotation mark in today’s Mary Worth?
I mean–where did that quote begin?
November 3rd, 2006 at 8:45 am
#110: I’m assuming it’s taboo to depict someone actually taking a growler, so to avoid confusion and even a whiff of improriety, Becky is drawn perched on the “uppper deck.”
November 3rd, 2006 at 8:46 am
Mallard Fillmore: Man, I just don’t get this thing the Republican propaganda machine has against college.
Well, okay, I guess I do get it: It’s pretty obviously a way to demonize independant thought and critical thinking, thus leaving a less informed, less critical populace that can’t effectively oppose republican evil.
What I don’t get is how anybody could fall for it when it’s so incredibly obvious.
Funky Winkerbean: Yeah, I know I hate it when hot girls throw themselves at me.
Man, if we aren’t going to get to see a catfight, can’t the drunk girl at least puke on somebody? Come on, throw us a bone, here!
9Chickweed Lane: I don’t like Thorax: He has a dumb name and he says dumb things.
November 3rd, 2006 at 8:56 am
Crankshaft is like W.C. Fields: an asshole who isn’t funny. But, fer gahd’s sake, don’t start making him all warm and fuzzy and likeable now. I might throw up in my mouth a little.
November 3rd, 2006 at 8:59 am
Octal & Rhubarbcream
It would be GREAT if Delirium showed up right now… or is THAT who Niki’s mom really is?!
November 3rd, 2006 at 9:01 am
Spidey is so upset at having to actually fight a supervillian, that even his favorite past times, pounding tables and watching TV, won’t relax him, so he has to go webslinging. And by ‘webslinging’, he means ‘hiding in the bathroom jerking off while his man-wife wonders what sort of loser she married.”
November 3rd, 2006 at 9:03 am
MJ has some sort of growth hanging off her face in the first panel…
November 3rd, 2006 at 9:04 am
120 (CC): June = Vogue hot; Margo = psycho-prude Craigslist-wannabe hot; Abbey = freaky, Girls Gone Wild cum MILF hothothot
November 3rd, 2006 at 9:16 am
Why do people think Charles Schulz was religious? By today’s right-wing Christianist standards Schulz was a heathen. He was apparently a man with a fairly bleak outlook on life who had been scarred by his war experience. He once described himself as a “secular humanist.” I assume he placed a lot of value on the religious and theological traditions in which he had been raised, and like many of his generation in he mid-West probably loved the Bible and felt more comfortable using religious language in daily life than young doubters would today. He probably sought solace in religion but I read the Great Pumpkin theme as a sign he knew that solace was illusory in the end.
November 3rd, 2006 at 9:21 am
vanya–
It’s because of the Christmas special. Linus quotes the Christmas story from the Bible, so people draw conclusions.
Plus also, on the Hallowe’en thing? I think you’re overreading it, but I don’t have time to go all deconstructionist on the Great Pumpkin.
November 3rd, 2006 at 9:22 am
Why doesn’t Spiderman wrap his villians in a web and suck the juices out of them like a real spider? It would cut down on the grocery bill.
November 3rd, 2006 at 9:31 am
#126 W.C. Fields WAS funny, and a great juggler to boot. You probably don’t like the 3 Stooges either. Crankshaft still sucks though.
November 3rd, 2006 at 9:35 am
FBofW:
Were the musicians drunk or stoned or what? These days, “stoned” means high on weed, but I think back in the 50’s, stoned was the same as drunk. Hard to tell with Lynn, who’s not exactly a “hepcat.”
Why is Jeremy still in charge of Rebecca’s sound?
November 3rd, 2006 at 9:46 am
WTF: today’s TDIET???
“Guess the same button that turns the tube on turns wifey on, too — oh, yeah-h—”
I’m so freaked out/disturbed/irritated that I can’t even find words to express it. It’s usually bad in so many ways, but today there’s also an unintentional double-entendre! Can you even say something that comes from French about TDIET?
Oh, yeah-h.
November 3rd, 2006 at 9:56 am
#71 Jennifer
I’m afraid you’re going to have to turn in your badge. In your overzealous defense, you meant #43 was your collar.
Unless you have a glass menagerie or something…
November 3rd, 2006 at 9:57 am
Maybe the one musician is drunk and the other two are high. And maybe Jeremy is giving a Indian Wrestling Team Nutritional Lesson to the bass player in the back of the van.
November 3rd, 2006 at 9:58 am
JP – Being different can be good – like the 1940s grocers half-glasses thing. Well, at least you can read all the prices.
MT – Molly isn’t dead here – ergo she must be ALIVE. QED – A logic lesson from MT.
November 3rd, 2006 at 9:59 am
TDIET: If the religious right really wanted to defend the sanctity of marriage, they’d propose a constitutional amendment banning Al Scaduto.
November 3rd, 2006 at 10:00 am
#137 bellhalla
Yeah, I saw that this morning. Light of day and all that. Why isn’t there an edit feature on the comments? WHY?!
*falls*to*knees*sobbing*
November 3rd, 2006 at 10:26 am
Peanuts, Linus, Charles Schultz and religion: The thing about Linus and the Great Pumpkin is that it’s not a parody of any aspect of Christmas, or Christianity, except Santa Claus. Giant Pumpkin, flying through the night, no more ridiculous than fat guy on sleigh . . . bla bla bla. So even if Schultz was a faithful Christian of some sort (on which point I am ignorant), you can plausibly read the Great Pumpkin strips as making fun of some of the ridiculous stuff that had gotten stuck onto Chrismas, not of the actual religious core of the holiday.
If you want to get all analytic on it, you could notice that Linus stays faithful even though the Great Pumpkin never shows. Surely a greater display of faith than all the other kids, who get piles of presents every year to reward their belief.
I don’t recall much preaching in the Christmas pageant strips (I don’t know about the TV specials, and they aren’t canon anyway). There’s the pressure to learn lines, there are times that kids get it right, and times that they don’t. If the strips have any moral, it’s an occasional vague “pro-community” sentiment, as in: Look, all the kids are here together, and we pulled it off again. I don’t recall anything more explicitly Christian.
Finally, it is fun to note that Linus (Favorite. Peanuts character. Ever.) demonstrates a surprising knowledge of scripture in some classic strips.
November 3rd, 2006 at 10:38 am
Yeah, W.C. Fields was certainly funny, both overtly and subtly. I’m usually sitting at my desk, half asleep, but that got my attention. Really, is nothing sacred.
Actually, today’s TDIET observation is true around my house, but not just limited to the wifey but the kiddies as well, and it also applies to books. That having been said, it’s still stupid to bitch about it. Changing any variables in one’s environment often elicits corresponding changes in the others present. Even though TDIET sucks, it is forgivable because the one of the recurring characters is named Barfo Barfwell, the kid has a dorky haircut, and it ends with the catchy “Oh, Yeah-h”.
November 3rd, 2006 at 10:42 am
Please insert the terminating question mark in the first paragraph and remove the comma after “desk”. Doncha hate it when Barfo preaches and pontificates, but he can’t seem to puncuate? OH YEAH-H
November 3rd, 2006 at 10:43 am
#125: Ever notice how much Thorax looks like Dick Cheney? Think about it.
November 3rd, 2006 at 10:47 am
reading Gil Thorpe makes me feel like someone switched my regular coffee for decaf. It almost has a dreamlike quality, in the way that dreams make no sense.
howzzat?
November 3rd, 2006 at 10:54 am
Oh (Margo). My comment #97 was a second hasty frustrated version after some higher (or lower) power caused my first version to disappear into the ether when it was sent. I meant to say that ABBEY is hotter than June. Abbey, not Margo. I don’t even know Margo except when she appears on this site. Oh well, at least I didn’t attempt to tell a joke about Iraq.
November 3rd, 2006 at 10:56 am
85- BinkyBetsy-
I’d be honored to have my 4-Evah tribute be a small part of the FOOBiverse. Link away! I also did this foob parody months ago when we were all first coming to grips with the horrors of the “edgy” animations that Lynn innovated:
http://acebonestudios.com/pages/foobliz.html
That was a troubled time for a lot ot us here. I like to think that my efforts back then helped us all get through it. Some of us are still scarred. Feel free to link to it as well if you like.
November 3rd, 2006 at 11:00 am
“OK, that … that was probably over the line” made me laugh. Which, considering the day I’m having so far is a huge deal.
Thank you.
November 3rd, 2006 at 11:04 am
Oh, Apwil, you bitch. RebeccaH can hear you through that stall door, you know. Guess genuine emotion is only allowed for Pattersons and their FOOBish hangers-on. I don’t even like BeccaH and I feel a little sorry for her– who hasn’t been embarrassed like that once in their lives– but at least I’ve never had a smug bitch rubbing it in my face afterwards.
November 3rd, 2006 at 11:08 am
Dudes… have you ever looked at Gil Thorp? I mean really looked… at Gil Thorp…?
November 3rd, 2006 at 11:17 am
# 146: Are you suggesting that Stormy is actually lying under a pile of football players with his neck broken, and the last month of DT(GT) strips have been the random images flickering before his dying eyes?
Because that would kinda rule, as an explanation for the disjointed narrative.
November 3rd, 2006 at 11:20 am
147 Poteet – Are you saying you think June’s dog is better looking than she is? Man, that’s harsh.
I think Woody Wilson would name all of his characters Abbey, if he thought he could get away with it.
November 3rd, 2006 at 11:31 am
125: Oh geez. You can put the last panel of FOOB and FW side by side and it would work.
April and Eva can snark the rest of the comics!
November 3rd, 2006 at 11:33 am
#73, Jouster, since Jenn & Len have the dictionary covered, I’ll just point out it’s ‘Janie’ who has the gun, not ‘Jamie’.
November 3rd, 2006 at 11:46 am
I think Gil Thorpe needs a bigger font…
November 3rd, 2006 at 11:52 am
Today’s Foob: this only works dramatically if BeccaH actually kills herself. Then Apwil can feel at least a twinge of guilt and get the “It’s not your fault” speech, making the strip all about the PatterFoobs again.
November 3rd, 2006 at 11:58 am
Why does Peter Parker look like Vinnie Terranova?
November 3rd, 2006 at 12:09 pm
I dunno – that black-haired Youth in Crankshaft might be a girl.
And they were gonna totally get it on on the street.
Well, come on. That’s more amusing than a lame drug deal, right?
But seriously. They look like they’re holdin’ hands in the first panel, and that face in the second one is totally femme.
Okay, maybe it’s a gay couple, but whatever.
November 3rd, 2006 at 12:12 pm
With the new artist on JP, Abbey is “smokin hot”. She has been smoldering the past couple of weeks. On the other hand the new artist for A3G has not been kind to Margo. She looks a little dowdy now, whereas a few years ago she looked very sophisticated and sexy with her wardrobe and jet black hair pulled back in a bun.
November 3rd, 2006 at 12:58 pm
Man, Apwil, is going to own the Beckster from now on. At least Apwil can keep her band sober and the sound man in the building. Plus, she has some rocking outfits made with tempera paint!!!!!!!!! Wow.
Shoot me now.
November 3rd, 2006 at 1:02 pm
I will repeat for you newcomers just how DTGT is produced.
They have one roomful of monkeys and a bunch of typewriters putting together the scirpt.
They have another roomful of monkeys with a bunch of copiers and DTGT clip art putting out the artwork.
Finally, they have a roomful of monkeys with scissors and paste that throw together the strip each day to send off to the syndicate.
Pretty cool, eh.
November 3rd, 2006 at 1:20 pm
#153 — Cornwhacker, thanks for a good laugh. I had never made that connection, believe it or not. Now I’ll have to look at June and both Abbeys again and think it over. Dog Abbey at least looks more content with her lot in life than Human Abbey, I’d say.
November 3rd, 2006 at 1:33 pm
My understanding of the Great Pumpkin, from various interviews and a book written by Schulz, is that his conception was ‘what if a kid got his holidays mixed up and started waiting for Santa Claus too soon?’ Charlie Brown points this out to Linus early on, telling him, “I think you have him confused with Santa Claus.”
Linus does seem to draw a parallel, though, when he says: “I’ve learned there are three things you don’t discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.”
November 3rd, 2006 at 1:50 pm
Amazing! Tommy’s Bible is shrinking! Fortunately Iris’s jacket has stopped changing colors, so it’s a wash.
#34 – Oh, don’t get me started on the OTHER comics!
#22 – I wasn’t aware Tommy was imprisoned in Maine. Interestingly, Maine does not report numbers by race for its incarceration rates, but California, where Mary Worth is set, reports 5124 blacks to 423 whites in its prisons. And yet in four strips we have yet to see a single nonwhite prisoner!
I like Bobdog’s explanation that we’re only seeing the prison through the filter of Iris’s memory. Explains why everyone looks so happy and healthy and, well, uniformly white!
On the other hand it makes me wonder why she sees Tommy’s Bible shrinking in his hand…
November 3rd, 2006 at 1:59 pm
Re: Foob-o-phonium
• Isn’t middle school _about_ total humiliation? I don’t understand what else Rebeckkckcahhhh should have expected. It’s not like April wasn’t just equally embarrassed by sharing the stage with Jazzy Uncle Phil playing a beer funnel – she just accepts it.
• Is Lynn Johnston really saying that the band’s members being stoned and/or drunk actually made them unable to play their instruments? This goes against everything I know about music.
• Why did whoever did the sound for 4Evah + Evah + A Man ditch the soundboard after their set instead of doing the Noble ‘Tard thing and offering to help out in Jeremy’s absence?
• What is Jazzy Uncle Phil possibly carrying in a suitcase in panel two? My guess: bricks of cocaine. That’s right – he sabotaged Rebekkkah’s band by addicting them to drugs!
November 3rd, 2006 at 2:06 pm
#140: COTW! Although everyone’s especially “on” today. Y’all are killing me.
Also, I think the Charlie Brown Christmas, Halloween, and Thanksgiving specials can be considered canon, although obviously not any of the others. I’m talking to you, Race for Your Life Charlie Brown!
November 3rd, 2006 at 2:07 pm
MW: Yessir, nothing does better for a man than living in a 8×10 square for a couple of years. God, if I wasn’t such a loser/uniterested in improving my life, I would spend a couple of years there myself! Mary, Mary, quite an idiot, how does your research go? You’ve never seen jails, the inmates are pale, and a semblance of reality is a no. (My apologies…I had to try.)
BC: I too was disturbed by Ol’ Johnny “Jesus Juice” Hart throwing in that alcoholic old lady reference. I sure case of projection if I ever saw one.
RMMD: So, the only question is, where will the throwdown occur? At the DMV Coliseum, or down in the Medical Office Octagon? (It’s funnier if you say it like Bret “The Hitman” Hart OHHHHH YEAHHHHH!!!)
TDIET: I hate to say it…but yeah, I hate how anytime I try to do anything, suddenly the world decides to swarm me, but as long as I’m bored off my ass, people forget I exist. Now that I’ve said that…I’m simply waiting for the world to end…DAMN YOU AL SCADUTO!!
MT: What scares me is that I can see Snake n’ Jake coming back and reenacting their favorite scene from Deliverance. HOOOWEEE! We shur shud them city folk! Ain’t noone gunna here yur screamin out hur, ‘cept fur us….
November 3rd, 2006 at 2:17 pm
#165 – Sorry for the confusion. I wasn’t saying the prison was in Maine. I was just using Maine as an example of a geographic location where the population is almost exclusively white, and opining that maybe that’s why everyone in Tommy’s prison is white.
Or maybe Mary Worth is restricted.
November 3rd, 2006 at 2:27 pm
RMMD: If June is Desire, I hope the DMV lady turns out to be the Corinthian and murders/eats her eyes.
Scaduto is so lazy, he didn’t even bother to draw the fucking set up to todays traditionally shitty comic
Spiderman: I like that J.Jonah Jameson, the PUBLISHER of a fairly major (fictional) newspaper, is now a talk show host (wtf?!)
Meanwhile, Spiderman slowly descends into alcoholism…
November 3rd, 2006 at 2:30 pm
So Mary Worth’s story line meets the real world, and Tommy the Meth-head got religion and his drug of choice on conjugal visits with Pastor Haggard.
November 3rd, 2006 at 2:32 pm
The only reasonable explanation for the amount of time that June has spent at the front of the at the DMV is that her enabler – Ms. Manhands – is aware of the new ‘motor-voter’ law and DOES NOT WANT HER REGISTERED TO VOTE BEFORE NOVEMBER 7.
All the people in line (behind her) are plants, including Kevin Smith/Silent Bob, and the fix is in. Tom Foley (R) is going to cruise to victory at the polls!
November 3rd, 2006 at 2:34 pm
er. em. “Mark” Foley, that is.
November 3rd, 2006 at 2:57 pm
I wonder if all of Lynn Johnston’s stories involving rivals of her beloved comic family end with “PATTERSON WINS. FATALITY. FLAWLESS VICTORY.” in the pre-draft outline.
Not that those are bad terms to use as bullet points, generally speaking, but they do make for plots that are shallower than water can make on a flat surface due to surface tension.
November 3rd, 2006 at 2:57 pm
#169 — By golly, you’re right, King. There are no Jewish people in Santa Royale!
November 3rd, 2006 at 3:00 pm
TDIET: I’m kinda surprised the Grammar Nazis didn’t pick up on the fact that there’s no such contraction as j’ever. but then again it IS Scadutospeak He “does it all the time” ohh yeahhh!
Peanuts: regarding the religious affiliation of Charles Schultz; According to the Wikipedia article done on him, he was born Lutheran, taught Sunday School in the Methodist church for a while and later identified with secular humanism. He indicates that his comics were never meant to have religious overtones, even though he gave author Robert Short permission to use his comic strips in the book “the Gospel According to Peanuts” (I remember owning the book when I was a child, but of course I was too young to understand any of it)
MW: someone already mentioned a parallel between Tommy’s magically growing hair, and April’s costume in Foobland, but I thought I should bring a different perspective. ever since Tommy’s been in jail and he “took religion into his heart” his hair has been crawling up into a Patterson-esque bun. I’ve taken to calling this the “Sainted Patterson” principle. Whenever the Patterson women are behaving in their usual saintly fashion, their hair is put up in tight bun fashion, and when they are doing something out of saintly character (like April playing her ‘devil music’ with her band or Liz hanging out tempting Granthony) the hair automatically lets itself out of the bun. So basically once Tommy gets out of prison, drops the ‘born again’ facade, and falls off the wagon look for his hair to get as tweaked out as he is all over again.
November 3rd, 2006 at 3:05 pm
MT — I know I’m going to be sorry I confessed this, but when I was younger, I would sometimes envision certain comic-strip characters as actors, per the movie ROGER RABBIT, waiting to go onstrip instead of onstage, with a lot more flexibility re the sets. HAGAR THE HORRIBLE, for example, made more sense to me using this approach.
Anyway, right now I’m envisioning Jake and Snake playing cards with Molly as they wait to reappear. And Andy is quietly demanding a pay raise behind the scenes because Mark keeps blowing his lines and taking up everyone’s time by forcing redraws.
November 3rd, 2006 at 3:09 pm
April, you beat me to it. I was going to say how timely this whole Mary Worth story is. It’s like the Pastor Haggard story in reverse. I can’t wait to see what the male prostitutes of Charterstone look like. They probably wear plaid vests.
November 3rd, 2006 at 3:26 pm
Tommy will return to Charterstone as the resident “massage therapist”, and eventually seduce the pastor who presided over Aldo’s funeral.
November 3rd, 2006 at 3:37 pm
Man, TDIET is just, I dunno, unrelentingly depressing. These people make Pluggers look like a Busby Berkeley number.
When Barfo finally snaps he put 5, 6, 10 rounds into the skullturf of his victims.Oook-ook-okkk! But when he turns the gun on himself. Hoo Boy! Click-click-click-click-click.
November 3rd, 2006 at 3:38 pm
Schulz was a fairly religious guy, but in the old-school live-and-let-live kind of way. In interviews he said he felt he had no business proselytizing because he knew no more than the next guy. Of course, the prevalence of active religion in his life was reflected in the strip, and Linus and Franklin were able to quote scripture really well.
His last years produced some of the most wonderfully strange strips, including one where Snoopy wondered if Jesus had a dog.
Oh yeah – Great Pumpkin was a Santa Claus confusion – Schulz explicitly said so.
And Gil Thorp is *no longer* written by a whacked-out end-times Christian – Jerry Jenkins got canned because he let his sons write the strip for him without talking to Tribune Media Services about it.
This humorless post was brought to you by Fyodor Dostoevsky.
November 3rd, 2006 at 3:42 pm
Man, that’s what I get for not following Rex Morgan. Here I got all excited thinking she was being questioned by the FBI, perhaps to be thrown into prison for being a terrorist and when I look at the past week, it turns out she’s only been at the lame DMV. Talk about dissapointment.
November 3rd, 2006 at 3:59 pm
#177 Poteet -
With union steward Crankshaft trying to get everybody worked up about management storing props in the Green Room while the Gil Thorp kids mock him behind his back and Peter Parker sucks his bottle of I.W. Harper trying, trying, trying to make it all go away.
November 3rd, 2006 at 4:01 pm
GT: Is “Karen Mazo” actually Tommy from MW? Look at Tommy in yesterday’s prison strip, also that may well be Iris sitting in the background. Maybe Tommy has to do community service as part of his sentence (and since it’s GT things go very slowly, so the guards won’t have any trouble keeping up with him).
November 3rd, 2006 at 4:02 pm
Sometimes the comics, far from being a harmless entertainment break for me, suck me down into a pit of soul-deadening despair. This is one of those times.
November 3rd, 2006 at 4:18 pm
Re: duck quacks and echoes. The TV show “Mythbusters” did something on this several months ago. It will probably show up on reruns in the coming weeks.
Re: June at the DMV. Hysterical if you posit that June came in with a white Republican I-am-better-than-you attitude and a Democratic union clerk decides June should get to experience the full theory of the Homeland Security-required identification for all (even white women wearing W buttons) requirements. I have a friend from India who has to go through the full screening everytime he tries to board an aircraft while his white wife (who kept her Norwegian name) zips right through without a single question.
Re: Crankshaft. First time I’ve ever felt sorry for the old dude.
Re: Spiderman. Why can’t the people in the newspapers or movies ever accurately depict what happens in broadcasting?
November 3rd, 2006 at 4:21 pm
Like duck quacks, Mark Trail’s screams while being buggered by the ‘ake brothers in a cave do not echo.
Molly doesn’t understand why.
November 3rd, 2006 at 4:27 pm
Re: Charles Schulz One of the great honors of my life was to be able to meet Schulz on a day he accepted an alumni award from the University of Minnesota. He was humbly grateful to his adult fans. You could tell he loved children (he even drew a Snoopy for a little girl who was introduced to him while I was nearby). A thoroughly charming and decent man. When you get to meet one of
your heroes and find he’s an even better person than you imagined…that’s better than a warm puppy.
November 3rd, 2006 at 4:29 pm
Bless Power Pig! He single-handedly (single-hoofedly?) defeated the monsterous “April-tsooris” (from the Yiddish “tsooris” meaning troubles). How ironic that a pig (an animal not even Kosher!) will save comicstrip people from a Judeo-Canadian threat.
http://www.gocomics.com/inkpen/2006/11/01/
November 3rd, 2006 at 4:42 pm
Friday’s Brewster Rockit…
Bit off his THIRD leg? Tastes so good, like a Moby-Leg should.
http://news.yahoo.com/comics/uclickcomics/20061103/cx_tmrkt_uc/tmrkt20061103
November 3rd, 2006 at 4:46 pm
#185 – Welcome to the Comics Curmudgeon experience..
November 3rd, 2006 at 4:52 pm
#145: Thorax is no Cheney clone…he and his Pap are demi-gods. If you kept up with Pibgorn, you’d know this.
November 3rd, 2006 at 5:08 pm
RMMD: Rex has figured out how to make health care even worse. “We’re only open in the evenings… you’ll have to come back!” Because sending a sick person to a different hospital/clinic is not the Rex Morgan Way.
November 3rd, 2006 at 5:19 pm
Jonnya: Awesome! Thank you!
#166: Apes and Beck (and Eva) are in 10th grade now. Becky has a fall birthday, I believe, so she’s probably already 16, while April is still 15. (Having a spring birthday sucks; I speak from experience.) Anyway, they may or may not be too old for histrionics, but they’re not in middle school.
#174: I wouldn’t be surprised. Thing is, Lynn has some odd definitions of “winning” and “losing”. Regardless of what happened at the Gym Jam, Becky still has two CDs and all the rest of it. Phil won’t be with 4Evah forever (hee!). April’s life is going to go back to mundanity, so I guess she has to relish Becky’s humiliation while she can.
#176: I can see “j’ever” if you’re talking phonetically. In one of J.D. Salinger’s short stories, a character says, “Jeat yet?…Jeat lunch yet?”
November 3rd, 2006 at 6:23 pm
#183 — Exactly, Uncle Lumpy. You got it. Though in younger days I preferred to believe that the comic strip characters had happier real lives, and that, for example, Hagar’s wife Helga, instead of having to do enormous amounts of cooking and cleaning all the time, was merely onstrip long enough to do the housework joke and then walked off the set to enjoy a nice light lunch and a glass of Chablis.
#185 and 191 — I don’t know if I should apologize for howling with laughter at both your comments, but I did. And that too is part of the Comics Curmudgeon experience. Sorry (if necessary).
November 3rd, 2006 at 7:26 pm
143 – Changing any variables in one’s environment often elicits corresponding changes in the others present.
Yup. You can’t seriously expect to come into a room where someone’s reading, turn on the tv three feet away, and not have them respond.
November 3rd, 2006 at 9:48 pm
When Peanuts was good, the beauty of it was that the satire was something children would understand. I remember seeing the Great Pumpkin as a ~7 year-old and knowing he was making fun of the Santa Claus myth, and thinking that was pretty cool. Back then (say, before the mid-1970s), satirical entertainment for young kids was a rare and treasured thing (one reason Bullwinkle was so great). I think it’s hard for people of the subsequent generation to understand that Schulz was actually pretty edgy, because everything nowadays is satirical.
November 3rd, 2006 at 11:26 pm
#197 — Blissful, you are so right. ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE used to feel like secret satiric communications between them and us. That show helped me figure out early that I had a deep affinity for The Snark Side.
November 4th, 2006 at 4:11 am
#176, #194 — Woody Allen did a similar riff on the contraction. It went something like:
I asked my co-worker, “J’eat yet?”
And he responded, “Not yet. J’you? J’you?”
That anti-Semite!
November 4th, 2006 at 8:19 am
Don’t know if anyone said this, so pardon the possible repetition, but Johnny pHart appears to be the ARTIST of Wizaed of ID, not the “words” guy. So if Wizard appears to be funny, it’s not the late Johnny Hart’s work.
If Hart were the writer of Wizard, it would be a lot more Jesus-y and incomprehensible.
November 4th, 2006 at 9:17 am
#155: Oy. So it is. Janie. Now I remember.
But cut me some slack: I didn’t grow up with Aerosmith but rather first heard the song on the 2001 meisterwerk “Not Another Teen Movie.”
That meant that Chyler Leigh joined June, Margo and Bernice in an irresistible soup of unattainable women – the first corporeal member to boot!
Never mind getting her name right – my hands were shaking so much I could barely type!
November 4th, 2006 at 11:28 am
“This will be a pleasure.†the mayor said said, licking her lips.
She reached for him. Stormy backed away. “Whoah, lady. I… I… have a girlfriend.â€
“Relax, baby,†she cooed, pinning him against the wall with a firm grip. “Just enjoy the feelings.â€
Stormy’s father smiled as he watched. Today his boy would become a man.
November 6th, 2006 at 4:32 am
88: Defenestrate you, no. Shave you, yes. And leave you to the ministrations of my incredibly scratchy-tongued cat.
188: Jay and Silent Bob in the back there are definitely headed for Gitmo.
November 6th, 2006 at 5:32 am
105: Marion, I’m already married, so I can’t say it.
August 12th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you down the road!