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Slo-mo

Judge Parker, 12/18/06

None of the soap opera strips can really be said to move quickly (except for the disorienting crank binge that is Gil Thorp), but those in the know know that nothing moves more slowly than Judge Parker. Today’s evidence: I’ve read every single Judge Parker for the last two years, and “Marie” is clearly supposed to be a recurring and beloved character, but I have no idea who the hell she is. Presumably she jetted off to visit with her bother for a long weekend about 72 hours ago in strip time.

Guest artist watch: Abbey’s resplendent she-mullet is looking almost normal in panel two, there, buster. Not nearly enough poof on top.

Dick Tracy, 12/18/06

The QLUNQ in today’s Dick Tracy has generated more comments and e-mails than any other comic sound effect in recent memory, most of which can be summed up as “What the hell kind of sound effect is QLUNQ?” Well, the largest denomination of U.S. currency in current circulation is the $100 bill, and there’s 50,000 bills in that suitcase, and 490 bills weigh one pound, so I’d say QLUNQ is the noise that 102 pounds of money and a suitcase make when they run into the side of a human skull. 102 pounds of money and a suitcase thrown one-armed, incidentally. And they say scientists are skinny, nerdy types!

Dennis the Menace, 12/18/06

Well, Dennis has certainly left meancehood behind long ago, but we can take heart that at least he hasn’t gone so far in the other direction as to have become Christ-like.

Yet, anyway.

90 responses to “Slo-mo”

  1. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    December 18th, 2006 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    Some sad news: Joe Barbera of Hanna-Barbera has died at the age of 95.

  2. Don Iguan
    December 18th, 2006 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    Oh no, not another amnesia angle!

  3. Anonymous
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:00 am [Reply]

    Dennis doesn’t understand the symbolism of the Magi’s gifts.

  4. Tabby Lavalamp
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    Maybe it’s a five million dollar briefcase. Maybe it holds five million dollars worth of bonds. Maybe it’s five million Canadian. Maybe there’s a cashier’s cheque for five million. Maybe Dennis threatened the artist with broken kneecaps if he didn’t spell it “QLUNQ”. Where he’s truly menacing is behind the scenes. None of that matters. What does matter is that “QLUNQ” is the sound of all sense and reason leaving a comic strip.

  5. edgeways
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:06 am [Reply]

    Isn’t Marie some secretary for one of the boys or something?

  6. Eyebrows McGee
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:06 am [Reply]

    I think QLUNQ is the sound of heads getting hit by suitcases full of money ON THE MOON. I think we’re about to discover that the Tracys have actually been in a dream sequence since 1969, and the QLUNQ will return him to his real life in Moon Valley catching moon criminals with moon technology. (And then poor Junior can finally have his wife and kid back since they got written out for being too lunar.)

    Now THAT’S an amnesia angle.

    BTW, what makes the QLUNQ is the lack of exclamation marks. “QLUNQ!” just does not have the same ring as the matter-of-fact “QLUNQ.”

  7. arto
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    The real question is, why is Dick Tracy taking that kinda shit from a guy wearing those fake Groucho Marx novelty glasses?

  8. Rhekarid
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:13 am [Reply]

    Obviously, that briefcase is of Swedish design; QLUNQ is like clunk, with that little umlaut thing over the U that I don’t know how to type, pronounced “cloonk.”

    What I *don’t* understand is why this mad scientist is recklessly throwing 5 million dollars around, oh-so-helpfully labeled for us, when he could simply behead Tracy by hurling his deadly razor-edged facial hair like Oddjob’s hat.

  9. cvk
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    I wonder if “Q” is the Roman numeral for five million, or something.

  10. Red Greenback
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    Holy Molly, I am still blown away by Uncle Lumpy’s bee-yoo-tiful poem two posts back! Unk should be a national treasure!

  11. Mik Holmes
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    Dear lord that doctor’s arms are stubby.

    Unless it was meant to be that way.

  12. left of the pyle
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    Sqrew “qlunq”! What is “meancehood”?

  13. MonkeyHawk
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:18 am [Reply]

    I think QLUNQ is the bookcase from IKEA I’ve been trying to assemble for the past 3 years.

  14. Shave Ezra
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    What the hell happened to June in panel 3 of today’s (Dec 19) RMMD? She looks like one of the Fisher Price Little People.

  15. adlithium
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    Look how accepting Dennis’ parents have become of his so-called “menacing”, Just standing there smiling with their eyes closed, thinking “At last, all those hours of shock therapy have finally paid off”.

  16. mumbles
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    FOOB: Poor Michaelagh. First, for the first time in years Dee looks like she’s in the mood for some pushing in the cushion and he’s just ONE HOUR AWAY from finishing his book. Then, the Kelproth’s stinky cigar starts a fire. After self-righteously saving the Kelproths, Lovey and her ten cats, he will no doubt have to make a choice – the manuscript or….

    Good night, sweet widdle Wobin. We barely knew thee.

  17. Mike P
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    Dennis is biding his time until everyone has accepted this new, non-menacing version of him. Then, once everyone feels safe and secure, he’s going to start menacing again, big time. Once he’s over, his parents will be divorced, Mister Wilson will be dead of a heart attack, Mrs. Wilson will be an elderly prostitute, and all of Dennis’s so-called “friends” will be spread across the world, child slaves every one.

  18. adlithium
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    Yeah, but Mike P, why can’t that happen now?

  19. Bigfoot
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    Keep your kids away from the comics today, people. Mark Trail is all about beaver love!

  20. Derelict
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:50 am [Reply]

    #15–Electroshock, indeed–but for whom?

    Personally, I think Mrs. Menace has a major ganja and thorazine habit, while Mr. Menace has discovered the joys of Percodan and heavy drinking.

  21. Steve S
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:50 am [Reply]

    The briefcase actually contains 5 $1 million bills. The million-dollar bill is actually made of adamantium. There are ten total in the comic strip world. Scott Adams has the other five.

  22. David Willis
    December 19th, 2006 at 1:32 am [Reply]

    It’s like a QUASH! but with less liquor involved.

  23. Poteet
    December 19th, 2006 at 1:45 am [Reply]

    12/19

    Foob — If Michael’s manuscript is burned to a really black crisp and his computer is melted into a very shallow puddle and his incredibly dreadful novel, in short, is destroyed beyond all hope of human or divine recovery, I might, just might, go so far as to consider possibly maybe forgiving Lynn for some of the past few years of deep suffering.

    On the other hand, if we readers are going to be expected to hope like crazy that Michael’s book will survive the flames so that it can be converted into a bestseller and be hailed as the Great Canadian Novel, and it does indeed survive and achieve that status in the Foobiverse, then, Lynn, you had better be prepared for the possibility of spontaneously bursting into flames at some unexpected moment, because the white-hot loathing of thousands will be focused intensely upon you. As if it isn’t already.

    Geez, this strip now has me rooting for book-burning.

  24. Poteet
    December 19th, 2006 at 1:53 am [Reply]

    JP — And for the mercifully uninitiated, Marie was Abbey’s maid for many years. But she’s just grown her hair out, sprouted freckles, dropped about twenty years, changed her face and body structure, and ditched her cap and apron. Who knows what she’s going to be now.

  25. Mibbitmaker
    December 19th, 2006 at 1:59 am [Reply]

    #8: I dunno; His razor-edged facial hair is no match for Tracy’s razor-edged face!

    Actually, I think QLUNQ is Arabic for KLUNK! (Or KLUNK is Klan for QLUNQ… can’t be sure).

  26. Mibbitmaker
    December 19th, 2006 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    JP: “I’ve been working out at my cousin’s gym”…. Sounds like dialogue from the what-could-have-been season 4 of “Arrested Development”.

    DtM: And, Josh, when Dennis gets Christ-like, he’ll be an official FOOB. And, in a way, he’ll then be the most menacing of all!

  27. Donald The Anarchist
    December 19th, 2006 at 2:32 am [Reply]

    JP Depending on which panel, she either looks like an extremely youthful Yoko Ono, or Junior from Dick Tracy with a dye job and a sex change. I think we need to get Abby back in that nightgown. That scene she had with Neddy never got properly resolved, I felt.

    DTM All the adults are smiling because they know that in spite of Dennis’s improved behaviour, his blasphemy will forever keep him shy of the Pearly Gates, thus netting them all a well-deserved vacation. ‘Cause when you get right down to it, menace or not, the little bastard’s ANNOYING.

  28. TB Tabby
    December 19th, 2006 at 3:12 am [Reply]

    #22: Whoah! We’ve got a celebrity here!

  29. Cafangdra
    December 19th, 2006 at 3:45 am [Reply]

    FBOFW seems so ominous today, in the sense that Michael will doubtfully save his pwecious manuscript but oh no! His house will be destroyed by fire! …which means him and Dee moving into his folks’ place is going to happen SOON, which means Elly and John will have to move into that stupid little house SOON, which means Liz will need a new place to live SOON, which means…

    Blandthony + Liz = True Love Forever will happen soon.

    I’m so torn up over this I could just puke.

  30. Robert Whitaker Sirignano
    December 19th, 2006 at 4:42 am [Reply]

    Joe Barbera has passed on? I don’t consider that to be tragic, since I never thought much of the material that he produced. HB’s cartoon products worked its way into the American mind in the sixties because there wasn’t much else on in two, three channel America.

    Considering the FLINTSTONES recently, my background information shows me that Max Fleischer came up with the same ideas and concepts in a string of short subject cartoons in the forties.

    If Hanna and Barbera had any qualities, they were all borrowed short of a lawsuit. And don’t get me started on their artwork and animation and scripting…

  31. Harold
    December 19th, 2006 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    There is still hope in the Foobiverse. Perhaps all the other Foobs have decided to pay Michael and Patsy and little JonBenet (or whatever their names are) a surprise late-night pre-Christmas visit. They have just managed to block the only exit from the building with Gwampa and a sack of carefully handcrafted presents when the building begins to fill with smoke. In the confusion that follows, everybody dies. The End!

  32. andreavis
    December 19th, 2006 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    I have just decided the best outcome to today’s FOOB: Michael comes down the stairs to see smoke. He finds Dee and Anthony doing the horizontal tango; they are driving at each other so enthusiastically, their loins are giving off smoke from the friction. Michael moves back home with his freakish children and Liz gets custody of Francoise. In a strange loophole in Canadian law, Michael and Liz get married and April becomes Farley, thus perfectly re-creating the original Foob family. The circle is complete and the world explodes. The End.

  33. jules
    December 19th, 2006 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    Qlunq? QLUNQ?! Is that related to BC’s “oynque”? (I recall rolling my eyes derisively at “oynque” when I was 14.) “Qlunq” just made me glad Dick Tracy doesn’t appear in my paper, because I couldn’t have handled it at 6:30 am.

  34. Squawk
    December 19th, 2006 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    DTM: Why does everybody look so solemn walking out of the church? Was there a funeral? If so, why is Dennis’s dad dressed like a waiter?

  35. hogenmogen
    December 19th, 2006 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    For the record, unlike Dennis, I’ll take the gold in my stocking. Ingots, not jewelry. Thank you in advance Santa.

  36. j.
    December 19th, 2006 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    Good god, how did Dick Tracy get tangled up fighting Spike Lee?

  37. Saxman
    December 19th, 2006 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    6.

    Say it isn’t so! Junior happily remarried to Sparkle Plenty after Moon Maid was killed at the behest of Big Boy. Daughter Honey Moon just combs her hair to hide her antenna. Right? Right?

  38. hogenmogen
    December 19th, 2006 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    #30 – Robert – Give the guy a break, he’s dead, ok? It’s one thing to vent anger at a comic strip or comic character, and to a lesser extent, a living person who is still creating the hated characters and strips (no names – except for Hart, Johnson, Scaduto, Walker etc.). But speaking ill of the dead is in bad taste since they can no longer respond nor reform.

    In some vague fantasy land in my mind, I imagine the perpetrators of the crimes against all comicdom to read these posts and reform the errors of their ways. Yes, that’s what we’re all doing here… we share a common vision.. to save all humankind from these bad puns, lame jokes and weak, meandering story lines.. to strive for justice, truth and the way of all things that do not suck!

  39. Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
    December 19th, 2006 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    30. Are you telling me that Huckleberry Hound and Yogi were not an important element of your youth, as they were for mine? That may explain a lot about our current path to rack and ruin.

  40. vanya
    December 19th, 2006 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Does Lynn Johnston actually realize how badly she is failing? Do you think she actually believes her readers like Michael? When everybody in the world who reads your comic strip, desperately wants to see one of your main characters NOT succeed at being a writer, and is hoping against hope that his awful book WILL be destroyed, then maybe you have not done a very good job at creating sympathetic characters. Is that a fair judgement?

  41. pelagius
    December 19th, 2006 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    FOOB: But wait! What’s that? With a swirl of his cape ANTHONY is here to fight back the blaze with his ICE-BREATH!

  42. fishmorgjp
    December 19th, 2006 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Maybe QLUNQ is meant to be an acronym, such as Quick, Lunge Under Nefarious Quack!

  43. reader-who-posts
    December 19th, 2006 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    QLUNQ is hopefully the sound made when Dick Tracy’s skull is crushed by 102 pounds of money in a suitcase.

  44. King Folderol
    December 19th, 2006 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    JP – If by “great” Abby means “you’ve got smallpox growing on your face”, then, hell yeah, Marie looks fantastic!

    DT – It looks like Professor McGoogly Goggles is throwing a large cinderblock at Dick and not $5M US. Though, given the logical inconsistencies in the DT universe, maybe they all use cinderblocks for money and a trip to the bank requires a team of comically drawn strongmen!

    #15 – It’s not just Dennis’s parents: all of the characters have their eyes closed. In a post 9-11 world, perhaps Dennis’s menacing has become more nuanced, and he just dumped a bunch of sleeping gas into the church’s vents, thus putting everyone into a waking coma.

    One thing’s certain: that black sport jacket/fire engine red pants ensemble makes Dennis a Menace. A Fashion Menace! (chortle, chortle, chortle…I’ll be here all week!)

  45. Von Zeppelin
    December 19th, 2006 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    “QLUNQ” is clearly the sound made by a briefcase designed by the weapons master of James Bond’s Secret Service. He designed it especially for a mysterious transhuman entity that occasionally visits Captain Piccard.

  46. Joe
    December 19th, 2006 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    Why is Dick Tracy allowed to do the labeling thing like some half-assed political cartoon? I’m suprised the evil scientist hasn’t tried to drown him in the waters of public opinion.

  47. Concerned Citizen
    December 19th, 2006 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    I agree that Joe Barbera had made some fine contributions to our society. They fall into three categories: Iconic cartoons, Completely moronic and unitentionally funny cartoons, and stuff like Jabberjaw Go ahead, I dare you to watch Jabberjaw for a half-hour.

    I’m going to make the third panel of Dick Tracy my wallpaper. It is poetry in motion. I think that the 5 mill is in the form of junk bonds and bad checks, so it might not be too heavy.

  48. Shlomo
    December 19th, 2006 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    I think the only gift Dennis is getting for Christmas is that Pastor, unwrapped.

  49. Ned Ryerson
    December 19th, 2006 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    I think that the conditions necessary to produce a QLUNQ are not constant. For example, a handful of small bills could create a QLUNQ if they strike the head of a shrunken-apple-headed spritual advisor with enough force.

  50. andreavis
    December 19th, 2006 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    Am I the only one who thinks Dennis’ dad looks kinda fine in that checkered sport coat and bowtie? Hubba, hubba.

  51. Franklin
    December 19th, 2006 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    I notice the Pastor is wearing slouchy leg warmers and jazz shoes, so I assume what’s hidden under the robe is the rest of the Flashdance outfit he’ll be showing off at the clergy-only pre-Christmas blowout later in the evening.

  52. jules
    December 19th, 2006 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    I dug Hanna-Barbera toons as a kid, but now I love them mostly because their work led directly to “Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law.” Kampai…Peanut.

    Also, how much fun is it to talk like Snagglepuss? Heavens to Murgatroyd! Rest in peace, Joe.

  53. Dan Coyle
    December 19th, 2006 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    Even drawn by someone else, Abbey is HAWT.

  54. B
    December 19th, 2006 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    We have Hanna-Barbera to thank for (DT)-GT’s “describe action that’s happening off-screen” cost-cutting trick. And for that alone, we should be happy.

  55. Laura
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    What is going on with the grammar in Mark Trail?

    “And he is soon befriended by a young female who is glad to have him in their family.”

    What is that “they” coindexed to?? The word “is” rather than “are” confirms that the young beaver is singular (not some bizarre metonym for a beaver harem or something). The Omniscient Narrator Box(r) specifically states that she is “female” thereby making the choice to use a gender-neutral “they” completely bizarre (had it said only “…a young beaver who is glad to have him in their family” I would have assumed the word “they” was purposefully obscuring the gender to leave the door open for Secret Gay Beaver Love). So, is “female” a new code word for homosexual, like “queen”, or is she an actual queen-perhaps this is the royal “they”?

    HELP ME HELP YOU MARK TRAIL.

  56. Laura
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    Sorry, I quote the quote slightly wrong. Actually it is:

    “And he is soon befriended by a young female who is apparently glad to have him in their family.” (emphasis mine)

    I guess the narrator isn’t so omniscient after all, since he (they?) doesn’t know if she is really glad or not.

    But I shouldn’t mock. It’s these literary devices– inexplicable pronoun use; deus ex punching in the mouth; fundamental struggles like Bear vs. Man, Bear vs. Nature, Bear vs. Its Own Kind, and Bear vs. Hostility; tight POV on Lucky the Beaver–that separate Mark Trail from the other nature-based comics featuring a character called Ranger Rick on the market today.

  57. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    Joe Barbera doesn’t understand your hostility towards him.

    But I suppose that means nobody will be offended if I swipe the following joke from fark.com:

    “Joseph Barbera dies. Funeral procession to pass same three buildings every two seconds.”

  58. bear
    December 19th, 2006 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    wasn’t the joke in this dennis the menace stolen from a recent family circus?

  59. Poppinjay
    December 19th, 2006 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    52. Indubitably!

  60. True Fable
    December 19th, 2006 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    It’s because God hates you, Dennis.

  61. queek
    December 19th, 2006 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    Ink Pen goes “old school” for its comic reference.

    Mark Trail, apparently written today by Lynn Johnston. *gags*

    PBS: a Tinsley reference?

  62. Da Scrodfather
    December 19th, 2006 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    Does Qlunq look vaguely Arabic, or am I coasting on the memories of Al Kinda, may the desert winds roast his soul?

  63. tODD
    December 19th, 2006 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    Wait, I thought Dick Tracy took place back in the early 20th century. If so, then the largest bill denomination at the time wasn’t $100, it was $100,000. Which means there might only be 50 bills in that suitcase! Not that it matters, since the suitcase is made of the same dense lead that forms the Dick Tracy pacing.

  64. Da Scrodfather
    December 19th, 2006 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    Just looked at 12/19 Garfield today. Damm, that cat has ugly feet. And I’m sorry for screwing up my HTML earlier.

  65. commodorejohn
    December 19th, 2006 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    #23 – I have nothing against Canada, really I don’t, but the phrase “Great Canadian Novel” cracked me up.

    #32 – Details may vary, but you’re right, I don’t think there’s any way for FOOB to avoid a universal implosion, as elaborated upon in a previous comments section.

    Also, the funniest thing to me in today’s RMMD is not Fisher-Price June but Rex’s emphasis in the same panel. “Oh, no…I see where this is going!” Try it out loud, it’s quite funny, and combined with his weirdass expression and hand position, it lends credence to people’s “Rex is gay” theories.

  66. SmartPeopleOnIce
    December 19th, 2006 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    Dennis, baby, I’m with you on the Incense and Myrrh, but Gold was topping $620 as of this morning. Expect it to gain against the dollar as Iran starts trading oil in Euros instead of dollars. Then again, the last oil-rich country that tried to move to the Euro was Iraq, and, well, maybe mom and pop can pick up enough gold to buy you a condo in Canada before the draft starts.

  67. Len
    December 19th, 2006 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    #61 — If Lynne were writing Mark Trail, Lucky the Beaver would have a disgusting porn mustache over his orange teeth…

    On the other hand, there are “love birds” in the air over our beaver couple. Weren’t love birds a factor in Mary Worth?

  68. AppleGirl
    December 19th, 2006 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    22 – David Willis, your comic strip is great!

  69. Robert Whitaker Sirignano
    December 19th, 2006 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    Sorry, but when Hanna- Barbera (or someone) came out with the tome THE ART OF HANNA BARBERA, I wrote into a news paper years ago to repond to a review of it, and detailed that “nostalgia does not mean it is art”, the same way that revivals of Horatio Alger novels are not art. It’s a recollection of the past. (They’re all terrible, too. I read one.)

    You mean, just because someone has died, the work they did is no longer subject to critical viewing and response? Gee, that must mean we can no longer study American literature.

    Come on, when Marlon Brando died, they mentioned how fat he’d gotten, his strangeness, his bad movies, his good movies, and that “Wally Cox” photo….

    Wallow in nostalgia, you’re allowed. There are people on eBay looking for H.R. Pufnstuff material, or the Boogaloos …and original cabbage patch dolls.

  70. Gal Friday
    December 19th, 2006 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    Hanna-Barbera are very important in the history of ‘toons, but pay more attention to their work in the 1930s and 40s–the cartoons are wonderful! H-B just accepted reality in the 1950s and ’60s with the advent of television and the inability to be able to lavish attention and money on cinematic film shorts. H-B received something like 9 Academy Awards and really deserved them–so don’t let the 60s-70s stuff sway you. Trivia: Bill Hanna was the voice of Dino. RIP Joe Barbera!

  71. Mushuweasel
    December 19th, 2006 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    There’s a Geico radio commercial about their supposed $500 avg savings over “the other guys” that goes something like “You know how it feels when you find a penny on the ground. Now imagine for each of the next 50,000 steps you take there’s another penny. It’s sort of like that.”

    Okay, so saving money with Geico is like lunge-stepping a marathon while carrying about 350 lbs. of pennies on your back. There’s a selling point…

  72. queek
    December 19th, 2006 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    67: mustache and beaver, the perfect pair.

  73. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    December 19th, 2006 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    The Great Canadian Novel? I think it begins like this:

    “Call me Brian, eh?”

  74. PInk Haired Girl
    December 19th, 2006 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    I look at this Marie person and the only thing I can think of is the year I was born. Which happens to be in the nineties.

  75. roydrink
    December 19th, 2006 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    No Lynn Johnston, NO! Don’t go Funky Winterbean on us!

  76. Charlotte
    December 19th, 2006 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    The fire, the manuscript, chinnuts illness, homesick Liz . . . none of it really matters. What we are seeing now is not true plot development. Instead, we are witnessing the puppeteer maneuvering all of her toys back to the Patterson house for the grand finale week (help us if it is an entire month). Picture it now: all of the Pattersons living under one roof. Panels of “today” nostalgically superimposed over the panels of “yesterday” – all coming together in a eloquent pictoral display of the way life twists and turns and at the center of it all is the solidarity and love of family.
    Now if you will excuse me, I need to go wash away my sorrows . . .

  77. Eyebrows McGee
    December 19th, 2006 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    #23: re: the Great Canadian Novel — doesn’t Lucy Maud Montgomery sort-of have a lock on the title?

  78. Pendragon
    December 19th, 2006 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    No Hanna-Barbera, no Tom and Jerry. No Tom and Jerry, no Itchy and Scratchy. Q.E.D.

  79. commodorejohn
    December 19th, 2006 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    Oh sweet Jesus Charlotte, you’re right. I’m going to finally snap and go mad now, if you don’t mind.

  80. Braniff
    December 19th, 2006 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    The Dennis the Menace gag reminded me of an old Family Circus line in which the kids asked why the why the Wise Men didn’t bring the Baby Jesus toys?

    The Family Circus cartoon dated from the 1960s or so, which suggests that only now Dennis is catching up to the kids in the Family Circus. I’ll have to agree that Dennis is no longer the lovable “menace” that he used to be, bothering babysitters, parents, flight attendants and even the President of the United States.

    (I’m referring to a 40-year “best of” Dennis The Menace compendium, which our public library has; many of the cartoons in it are quite fascinating.)

  81. Poteet
    December 19th, 2006 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    # 73 — Gadge, I will first state that I have the greatest respect for Canada and have visited and have friends there, and then I will say that your comment made me laugh like a drain. And if any Canadians want to take potshots at Iowa, feel free. Everyone does. The great Iowa novel would probably begin “Call me Porky and pass the jello salad.”

  82. comicsn00b
    December 19th, 2006 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    If you think about it, Dennis The Menace spearheaded a genre of “Ha- we are so middle-class and suburban and mediocre, isn’t it a scream!” comics, a dreadful genre of comics that may well outlive mankind itself. Hank Ketchum has much to answer for. Not the least of it is the decline in the quantity and quality of Dennis’s menacing in recent comics!

  83. Forthillrox
    December 19th, 2006 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    Qlunq reminds me of the sound effects in my “Calvin und Hobbes” books in which not only all of the dialog is translated into German, the sound effects are too. For example:

    Wock! : Calvin hitting a ball with a bat
    Knirsch!: Calvin roller skating into a gravel filled gutter
    Plitsch! Plitsch!: The sound a squirt gun makes when shooting
    Krach!: Calvin falling off of his bike
    Raschel: Calvin jumping into a pile of leaves
    Wumm!: Hobbes cannonballing into the bath tub.
    Stolper!: Calvin tripping
    Kracks!: Calvin landing in the bushes after trying to parachute out his window
    Röchel!: The result of Calvin trying to smoke
    Rü-ü-üllps!!: Calvin burping after chugging a bottle of tonic
    GURGEL: the toilet flushing

    And so on…

    It’s interesting that even the noises are spelled with umlauts…

  84. lefthanger
    December 20th, 2006 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    JP So Marie is Abbeys maid from a while back. If so she has gotten younger looking and now has freckles. She used to be a hottie like Abbey, who now looks much younger but still a hottie,

  85. doug rogers
    December 20th, 2006 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    Just like there’s alternate quips for Family Circus, how about some real menace lines for Dennis…

    “Hey! who do I have to talk to to get some Frankenstein for Christmas?”

  86. doug rogers
    December 20th, 2006 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    or….

    “Hey did you know my dad rolls his own incense?”

  87. Bitter Scribe
    December 20th, 2006 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Locher needs to find another writer fast.

    Or just give up, except that would give him more time to qrank out more qlumsy editorial cartoons.

  88. ColoZ
    December 20th, 2006 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    If there were more Arabic speakers working at the NSA, FBI, etc., then we would just ask them to translate QLUNQ. As it is, well, it might be the tip-off for the next 9/11 but we won’t know until after the fact.

  89. ZeeZee the Psycho Turtle
    December 30th, 2006 at 7:18 am [Reply]

    I beleive that ‘QLUNQ’ is just the rich way of saying klunk. God forbid a case of so much money make such a common sound.

  90. Roger M. Wilcox
    January 20th, 2014 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    Oh, that wacky Dennis! He shows his juvenille adorability here, at not knowing the difference between incense and frankincence. What won’t that (utterly non-menacing) rugrat think of next!

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