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Quick turn to heartbreak

Apartment 3-G, 1/29/11

It’s fun to watch Lu Ann’s high hopes for this relationship rapidly vanish. I imagine that her big dreams for a working-class guy who just up and kissed her the second time they met involved lots of hot sex and not really talking much. Now he’s whining about how he’s finally realizing at age 30 that maybe he shouldn’t live with his parents and that he’s fallen in love with some mouldering shanty in Losertown, N.J.; he also appears to be threatening to drop the L-bomb on Lu Ann, so you can see why she’s decided to fake a heart attack in the hopes that he’ll go away.

Spider-Man, 1/29/11

The Spider-Man arc just now wrapping up has been utterly delightful in its ridiculousness, but the final panel promises something even better. Perhaps, having seen up close what true love can be, Mary Jane will realize what a loser her husband is and finally dump him. How will our superhero deal with heartbreak? Presumably he’ll spend weeks moping around the house, complaining ineffectually and watching TV and … oh, wait.

Wizard of Id, 1/29/11

I once speculated that the Wizard of Id supported legislated health-care reform, but it’s now clear that the strip is taking a much more radical and troubling approach.

Family Circus, 1/29/11

Jeffy only has to ask this two more times, and if Daddy still doesn’t answer he gets to eat him!

43 responses to “Quick turn to heartbreak”

  1. Hank
    January 30th, 2011 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    RE: Apt 3G. So, basically, Paul is the newspaper Spiderman?

  2. Dentuck
    January 30th, 2011 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    Imagine the stink from Daddy Keane’s unshaven, three-day-bender mug. How can Jeffy stand to be so close?

  3. Pseudo3D
    January 30th, 2011 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    FC: I was about to make some snarky comment about if the dad is already dead, but now I’m more disturbed about what created the lump Jeffy has planted himself on.

  4. Ukulele Ike
    January 30th, 2011 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    Thel, under the covers? Nahhhh.

  5. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#3): That’s Bil’s cocoon. Pod. Whatever it’s called.

  6. Just some guy
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    Paul is hitting up Lu Ann for a loan.

  7. Patrick
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    I like how Peter subtly left Mary Jane behind with the Mole Man while he webs away with Aunt May. Stupid Mary Jane never lets Peter just watch reality TV, so he’s leaving with the one person who doesn’t care if he never amounts to anything.

  8. Weaselboy
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    LuAnn, he’s a Rosemary Clooney fan – run!

  9. Shawn S.
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    FC: There’s nothing more terrifying than waking up to Jeffy, right in your face and caressing it.

    S-M: Somewhere Uncle Ben is rolling in his grave.

  10. AndyL
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    I love how B.C. starts with a theme, but then he can’t think of a third caveman, so he just gives up.

  11. Peanut Gallery
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

    A3G – “The truth is, I’m falling in love with This Old House. That’s why I wanted you to see it.”

    What does he mean by that? He means he’s going to make you sit through his entire collection of home renovation videos.

  12. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    @AndyL (#10): Hm. Joe E. Ross? Old Man Mose? Rocky Stoneaxe?

  13. Maggie the Cat
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    A3G- LuAnn, that’s what you get for being a fast piece of work. You let a guy move your piano whilst paying with a kiss, go to midnight mass, Hoboken, and dancing at the Ritz with him… of course he wants to buy you a piece of shit house in NJ and make an honest woman out of you.

  14. Kibo
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    I think this “Family Circus” cartoon would make a perfect ending for the strip’s run, provided it had a thick black border to somberly honor the passing of Daddy. Actually, it should be the next-to-last one — the final one would be Little Billy leaving a dotted trail as Daddy’s ghost chases him through the house.

  15. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2011 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    Josh’s Spiderman comment is what keeps me coming back. That and the chocolate thrown by the COTW floaters.

  16. Maggie the Cat
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

    @Kibo (#14):
    Don’t forget a “Not Me” gremlin (or whatever the hell they are) as the police and coroner are investigating who killed daddy.

  17. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#Y265): “Victoria took the lead, first shimmying out of her flared slacks…” For a great vignette, read this post from yesterthread. It’s well worth the click.

  18. boojum
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#3): AAAAUUGGGHHH! Now I can’t unsee that! Some of us need our sleep at night, you know!

    Who’d have ever thought that Uncle Ike’s “Thel, under the covers” would be the least disturbing possibility? (Don’t calculate the size of melonheads… Don’t calculate the size of melonheads…)

    But SOMETHING’s under there. And I believe science has demonstrated that Thel’s neck would snap like a twig under the weight of Jeffy, The Prince of Pudge. Hell, I’m surprised she can wear a hat without collapsing.

    Wait a minute. Where’s Barfy…?

  19. Baka Gaijin
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#18): “Wait a minute. Where’s Barfy…?” And the jar of Jif?

  20. boojum
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    @Kibo (#14): ANY day would make a perfect ending for this strip’s run.

  21. ectoBiologist
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

    “The truth is, I’m falling in love with this old house. That’s why I wanted you to see it. The boredom of endless renovation matches your personality so well!”

  22. tb4000
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    A3G: “What does he mean by that?! Is he planning to murder me and stuff my remains somewhere in the manor? Lord, I hope so….it means I’ll finally matter in this strip!”

  23. commodorejohn
    January 30th, 2011 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#18): (Don’t calculate the size of melonheads… Don’t calculate the size of melonheads…)
    Funny, that’s just what they heard the obstetrician muttering, just before he jumped off the hospital roof.

  24. Rocky Stoneaxe
    January 31st, 2011 at 12:02 am [Reply]

    One of my favorite words is “blotto”, and I’m delighted to use it to describe Jeffy’s drunken dad!

  25. NoahSnark
    January 31st, 2011 at 12:03 am [Reply]

    I would like to imagine that the next panel in Family Circus shows Jeffy projectile vomiting.

  26. MKP
    January 31st, 2011 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    Man, if I had a dollar for every time some clingy guy who still lived with his parents said “And that’s why I wanted you to see it”….

  27. Frank Lee Meidere
    January 31st, 2011 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    MW: The following day, police investigate a freak accident in which Mary is crushed as one of her bookcases falls on her — apparently seven times.

    Pajama Diaries: We get it! Women work way harder than men and are way more responsible and care more about life and the important things and for God’s sake, shut up!

    Pluggers: On a similar note — we get it! Pluggers are lazy, old, fat, ignorant, slow, useless — and proud of it.

    RMMD: Just how long has Berna been talking to these people? So far Dex has bought a widescreen TV and a boat — and that’s just what we know for sure. And how is he managing to buy all this stuff? “Hey, I’ve got a couple of million dollars. Give me that big screen TV.” “Well, if you say you’ve got a couple of million dollars, that’s good enough for me. When do you want it delivered?”

    MT: I just noticed that in the Sunday comics, which always concentrate solely on animals, that the animals never talk. Is it possible that all that lame dialogue in the daily comics that seems to be coming from squirrls, birds, and the rectums of deer are actually meant to be coming from the humans? No. That can’t be right.

  28. Alison
    January 31st, 2011 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    Whoa-I’ve never really seen LuAnn with anything other than a “Hmm, duuuhhhh” expression in her dead eyes, except for maybe that one time she got mad at Margo for not liking her below-amateur artwork. Seeing LuAnn with wide, alert, I’m-using-my-brain-today eyes in that second panel has left me as shocked as she is!

  29. ElkMeadow
    January 31st, 2011 at 12:38 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#y27):

    Regarding Dex’s purchases: When he got the television, it was under $10,000 and he used a credit card. As tight as Berna is about finances and how she has made it clear that she rules the roost, I am rather suspicious about Dex having a credit card that would have more than a $10,000 limit. I would have thought it to be half that. As for the boat, time travel back to 2007. No down payment, no credit check.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#y259):

    I wonder how long it will be before we see the comic strip “Boomers!” and our entitled ways. (Me? born 1956.)

  30. Baka Gaijin
    January 31st, 2011 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    New Thread, dead ahead!

  31. demoncat
    January 31st, 2011 at 12:49 am [Reply]

    apt3g Luann is shocked for she thought Paul was going to ask her to be his wife and free her from Margo . family circus Father kene is hoping if he does not let Jeffy he is awake he will be spared the horror of having to spend the day with Jeffy.

  32. Kibo
    January 31st, 2011 at 1:01 am [Reply]

    @boojum (#20): Sure, any day “The Family Circus” all died would be a happy day, but some methods of their demise would be better than others.

    For instance, this week, “You Only Live Twice” came tragically true when James Bond pushed the self-destruct button inside that dormant volcano and it erupted and there were ninjas and stuff. If they had filmed that movie in, say, a laundromat and a vacant lot (like “Dollman”) nobody would have cared when, decades later, the laundromat and vacant lot exploded. But since they picked a mountain in a prominent Japanese national park, when it blew up, people said, “Oooh, aaaaah, the lava is such pretty colors, it looks like it’s strawberry-flavored, I’m going to taste it and YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!”

    Therefore, if “The Family Circus” were to come tragically true, it would be better if it were one of the strips where a formless unspeakable evil were chasing Little Billy to his ultimate demise than if it were the strip where the dumb kid is standing halfway on the bathroom scale asking “Mommy, what time is my foot?”

    Anyway, yes, I want the strip to come tragically true. Also, the next Bond film to come tragically true should be the Peter Lorre version of “Casino Royale”, especially ’cause I haven’t seen a good bathtub torture scene in a long time. What were we talking about again?

  33. carbunicle
    January 31st, 2011 at 2:38 am [Reply]

  34. Daniel
    January 31st, 2011 at 3:00 am [Reply]

    FC: Daddy Keane learned as a kid that if you pretend to be asleep long enough, you actually do fall asleep. Though tempted to move by the weight on his chest and grubby little mitts on his face, Daddy Keane is hoping that pretending to be dead works the same way.

  35. Alice Bluegown
    January 31st, 2011 at 6:08 am [Reply]

    Paul has literally fallen in love with the house – he intends asking Luann to be its Maid of Honor (after all, she is thick as bricks, if not actually made out of them…)

  36. Werewolves in London
    January 31st, 2011 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    We’ll still rip your throat out, Jeffy Billy Dolly Jim.

    Werewolves in London

  37. Uncle Lumpy
    January 31st, 2011 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    “Escorts in London” spam removed at #36. Sorry, current #36!

  38. VancouverMoose
    January 31st, 2011 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    Am I crazy or is Lu Ann throwing some sort of gangsign there? “Our love could never work because you are so East-hood and I am totally Westsyyyyyyde!”

  39. Master Mahan
    February 1st, 2011 at 4:22 am [Reply]

    “And there’s no co-pay, or else I’ll tickle you with this feather!”

  40. Bill Murray
    February 1st, 2011 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    I’m pretty sure it was Ed Gein that first uttered the immortal phrase, “I’m falling in love with this old house. That’s why I wanted you to see it.”

  41. Derdrom
    February 3rd, 2011 at 1:32 am [Reply]

    It looks like Daddy Keane didn’t answer Jeffy in time…
    Presenting: The Family Succubus!

  42. Ethan
    March 17th, 2011 at 5:19 am [Reply]

    The Closer to the speed of light you travel, doesn’t time effect you at different rates?

    August 24th, 2012 at 6:15 am [Reply]

    You can certainly see your skills within the work you write.
    The arena hopes for more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to mention how they believe.
    At all times go after your heart.

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