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Haircuts and soap fun

Blondie, 3/3/11

There’s something I’m profoundly missing about today’s Blondie. Mostly, I’m completely befuddled as to what un-thought-ballooned thoughts we’re supposed to understand to be ruminating in the minds of the two characters in the second panel of this strip. Presumably it’s something that makes panel three funny, or at least makes it make sense. Is barber M. Morelli’s weirdly prominent nameplate relevant somehow? Is Dagwood pausing because he believes his dictatorial boss, whose spies are everywhere, might be listening in on him at this very moment? Perhaps he fears that the huge, unbroken pane of glass is a one-way mirror that Mr. Dithers is hiding on the other side of, seething.

Judge Parker, 3/3/11

Oh, look, the demonization of the latest female Judge Parker guest star is proceeding apace! Our formerly pleasant college student suddenly has turned hard-faced and cruel, as she pushes forward with marketing Judge Parker’s terrible thriller despite the death of her boss. Will we find out that Constance literally threw her boss under the bus? Will Constance’s plot end violently, and in turn become fodder for another Judge Parker book, which will be promoted by yet another murderess? I think I’m beginning to understand why the publishing world is in so much trouble.

Apartment 3-G, 3/3/11

Ha ha, I love Trey’s look of fish-lipped horror in panel two as he processes the phrase “life and stuff.” “My God, I thought he was just a rough-around-the-edges working-class guy, but no, he really is quite stupid.”

Mark Trail, 3/3/11

Oh my God, Mark’s been separated from his razor and is starting to show signs of a beard! HE’S BECOME WHAT HE HATES THE MOST.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/3/11

Oh, hey, and someone tried to hire June Morgan as a stripper! So there’s that.

330 responses to “Haircuts and soap fun”

  1. Jessy
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    A3G: “Seriously, know what I mean?” No, I’m as stupid as you seem to be.

    RMMD: I can’t help but notice . . . June took Mr. Amato’s card.

  2. Maggie the Cat
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    June does have that “strict teacher” or “straight-laced librarian” look, so I’m thinking she might do well to grab a pair of glasses, a tear away suit, 4 inch lucite heels, and make her stage debut to “Hot for Teacher”.

  3. Arania
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    Re: Apt 3G: Honestly, I thought Paul’s remark about “thinking seriously” was a veiled gay come-on to Trey. “Know what I mean?” *nudge, nudge, wink, wink*

  4. Professional Mole
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    “Perhaps he fears that the huge, unbroken pane of glass is a one-way mirror that Mr. Dithers is hiding on the other side of, seething.”

    Can’t blame him, that was my exact first thought! :|

  5. Gloom Raider
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    In other news, the last panel of Mary Worth suggests that Dawn has somehow hacked her Mac Mini into a netbook! This discovery of Dawn’s geekiness suggests to me a classic misdirection: while the residents of Charterstone go after Twitter with torches and pitchforks, the real time-waster will turn out to be a screwed-up Linux installation!

    Also, as far as Judge Parker is concerned, I’d be happy for Constance to turn out to be the villain of the piece, if only we get to keep Angel. In fact, I’d be pretty happy with a plot in which the two of them kill the Judge and Angel impersonates him for the rest of the strip’s life, never getting called on it by the other characters because he’s a lot more interesting.

  6. Cranky
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    Want to take off your clothes for money, June?
    “Uh, not this week, sorry!”

    Never has a line of Rex Morgan dialog made me so hopeful for next week.

  7. colorado
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    @Arania (#3):
    That’s what I was thinking!

  8. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    preview-prevented postjumpage! (yay)

    A&J: dated boomer references are dated. but still rather amusing.

    Lio: *gigglez* Better than usual use of the “pets hate vacuums” trope

    NAoQV: *sigh* I’d hoped for better.

    OtH: heeee! This week has been lame, but today’s makes up for some of it, if you know the ref.

    Bizarro: *blink* *blink* *backs away slowly*

    HotC: heeeee! Nicely done.

    NS & PMP share a theme, and it isn’t a happy one.

    Ghost-who-smirks-at-family-reunions: girl, if you do, we’ll never be able to tell you and your brother apart.

    RwO: guest-starring a young Petey Otterloop.

  9. RichterCa
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    MT- Wait, hiding him from the authorities? “Our little island”? Tell me Mark Trail has drifted to Cuba!

  10. Scott Bot
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    DT – I’m not even gonna say that Dick’s next line should be ‘So I’ll shoot you instead’ because everyone else here already has.

    FW – Well, at least the dog isn’t smirking.

    GT – Actually, I find this to be kind of touching. Of course, it could also be that I’m a bit touched.

    Pluggers – You know, if this Plugger had gotten the Canadian drugs with the happy side effects, she wouldn’t seem so morose.

  11. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    Crank: Why does this turn of events not surprise me?

    FC: ENOUGH of the “Billy-is-sick” arc!!

    Funk the Bean: Sure, Batiuk. After one month with the dog, Wally has turned his life around. I’m sure you plan to have Buddy get hit by a car or die of cancer or something. It wouldn’t be the Funkyverse without such pain.

    Luann: Tiffany, being our female TJ, surely has something else in her bra, er, up her sleeve.

    MT: Wait a minute…… panel 3, did she have to jump on the other side of the bed to tell him this??

    Marvin: Please. Just. Die.

    MW: Get a grip. She’s your daughter, not your friggin’ girlfriend!!

    Pearls: When I see the crocs, I skip the strip.

    RMMD: Wow. What a pickup artist!!!…..”Hey, you’re hot! Need a job?”……”Thanks, but no thanks Mr. Slimeball. However……I do have this younger blonde cousin…..”

    Retail: COME ON!! Cooper. You kissed?? Reeeallly??? Show me. Pretend I’m Val….Why don’t you come in for a while?

  12. Maggie the Cat
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    And by the looks of the hilly background with boulders strewn about in panel 2 of A3G, it looks like Trey may be able to update the place for Paul and install one of those genius water systems where the water flows downhill without a pump!

  13. But What Do I Know?
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    @Arania (#3): How else can you take it? The only way it could be clearer is if they worked the gay kid from Gil Thorp into the story.

    The Ghost Who Walks on the Beach — Does Diana’s new look include that mustache she’s sporting in Panel 2?

    Wait, Dagwood is the office manager? How screwed up can that place be?

  14. teenchy
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Best. RMMD. Ever.

    FW: Love how bandleader lady keeps Wally at arm’s length during this discussion. It’s not like they were ever married or anything.

  15. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (Y#224):

    I often find myself thinking about life and stuff.

    Stuff?! That’s of what pancakes are made!

  16. Joe
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    VEEP: Is there anything Mr. Diggle won’t deep fry?

    CV@B: How many times will the Mighty Anchoress have to use her infallible secret stigmata powers?

    NACL: 5487 is just not as funny as 8910 and a third. It just isn’t. Everyone understands that except Frink.

    CRIP: Kip’s Bongo tree is just a stump now. Emasculated again.

  17. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#2): I will be in my bunk. . . . .

  18. zenvelo
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @Arania (#3): There was nothing veiled about it. Paul is asking Trey to play house. Sorry Margo, you gotta quit picking up gay men.

  19. Not just any Dipstick
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#15): No, my grandson got it right. He has some stuff…. up his nose!

  20. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . . 9CL without clothes. (srsly, WTF?!?)

  21. Illustrator Steve
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    MT – (Panel one): Is that a tear of joy on Cherry’s cheek? It sure LOOKS like a tear of joy!

    (Panel two): That BED! That lamp! That bedside table! Could it be?? Yes! Those forigners are hiding Mark in Kelly Welly’s cabin back at the fish camp! Either that or Elrod only has one piece of Dodd’s old clip art on file to illustrate a bedroom scene. That’s not usually a problem since only rarely will a Mark Trail scene take place in a, *gasp*, BEDROOM of all places!

    (Panel three): Regarding Mark’s new look (IE: with facial hair), when Mark eventually looks into a mirror and takes a swing at that blue-haired bearded guy he sees, the broken mirroe glass will fly everywhere! I just hope that inoccent little girl isn’t standing there to witness such a frightening sight!

  22. Filthy Assistant
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Well, June is a babe, so he had the right idea.

    Domo arigato, Mr. Amato.

  23. Digger
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    I learned two things from Mark Trail today. First, Mark actually does have hair follicles on his face. Second, a person can recover from a gunshot wound with a little shuteye. That’s comforting.

  24. Not just any Dipstick
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    Bondie: Well it can’t be any kind of mirror, no reflections, unless they are both vampires. That leaves us with only a supremely lazy artist that has no clue about the kind of junk that hangs on walls of every barber shop.

  25. Not just any Dipstick
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    MT: And, in the lazy artist category, we also find a bandage that can change position all by itself.

  26. Z
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    The joke in Blondie is that Dagwood is fictitiously claiming to be the office manager, and the barber is calling him out on it.

  27. Natalie
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Considering the belligerent sexual tension between Margo and Lu Ann, plus Tommie’s hopeless, unrequited passion for… um… anyone, I’m pretty impressed that the most homoerotic subplot on 3-G so far is between these two architecture-loving, scarf-wearing, square-jawed Ken dolls. I, for one, am hooked. Margo is going to be so pissed off! And Lu Ann might cry!

  28. Sparkle Plenty
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    MT: So it’s her private little island, not Cuba. How long will this idiotic saga trail on?

  29. Edgy DC
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    OK, Dagwood’s barber reminds him that they’re ALONE. The Apartment 3G narration box reminds us that Paul and Trey are meeting at a VACANT house (one that makes Paul, you know, reflective), Ms. Busty McHaltertop lets Mark know that he’s at her mercy on a secluded island. All of this makes the attempted corruption of June Morgan seem quaint. Has Wednesday suddenly beome Awesome Subtext Day?

  30. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    @Not just any Dipstick (#19):
    Like I said.
    Stuff?! That’s of what pancakes are made!

  31. Bootsy
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Hey, the Divine O’F was here last thread! Hey, your Divinityness!

    Re the coffee discussion last thread: I had to go to the office kitchen and check the coffee package when I read Community “Club” coffee just make sure I was right and there is no “Club” in the coffee name. I make two pots here, one with Community Dark roast, or as we call it here, pure coffee. The other pot is coffee and chicory. No decaf. I don’t know how people drink Starbucks; it really is bitter and acidic. There isn’t but maybe one Starbucks in the metro area. At home, it’s French Market coffee and chicory all the way.

    Hey comics snarkers and curmudgeons! See you in a few days as my office is closing at the end of the day and I won’t be back until after Mardi Gras. well, for the rest of today I’m still here but then its 5 days off.

  32. Pozzo
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    “Even if it’s in good condition, it’s still very old.”

    “That’s what SHE said.’

  33. Patrick
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    Trey is so annoyed at this conversation that his scarf has gained sentience and is strangling the life out of him.

  34. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    Blondie: It looks like barber Morelli is cutting off Dagwood’s “Dag Flags” in the last panel.

  35. Dennis Jimenez
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    Blondie – Would ya cut off that f#$%^&’ roostertail for cripes sake….

    JP – Guest star, Robert DeNiro – very good….

    A3G – Again with the Webelos uniform, Trey – I know they say a woman loves a man in uniform, but give it a break….

    MT – I’m your number #1 fan….

    RMMD – You need me – You can’t just use Craigslist anymore, June….

    Adios Amigos. DJ.

  36. Lorne
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    Maybe we’re just too shallow for Blondie today.
    I Googled “Morelli” to see if that was a clue, and came up with this Wikipedia article on Giovanni Morelli.

    The Morellian method is based on clues offered by trifling details rather than identities of composition and subject matter or other broad treatments that are more likely to be seized upon by students, copyists and imitators.

    So what is the trifling detail that unlocks this mystery? The barber is cutting Dagwood’s hair, Dagwood’s horribly indecipherable hair. Is the cartoonist telling us that he realizes the absurdity of showing someone like this at the barber? And look where the barber is cutting. Right at those three ridiculous hairs sticking out the back. Will those hairs be gone tomorrow? Or will they be there, unchanged? And does Dagwood know this? Does he know that the “fact” of him getting a haircut will have no greater consequence in his continued existence than the “fact” that he is an office manager? We’ve seen him acknowledge his meta-existence before, but in a humourous context. Perhaps now the true significance of his existence as a syndicated cartoon character has sunk in on him. It doesn’t matter if he’s an office manager as his office does no real business and he is never seen to manage. It doesn’t matter if his boss physically assaults him as there will be no criminal charges or lawsuits. It doesn’t even matter if he eats enormous sandwiches, for he will never gain weight.
    None of this matters, and it is intolerable. So he just keeps his head down and avoids making waves.

    Or maybe it’s his shoes. What’s up with those shoes?

  37. Comcis Fan
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    A3G: I do not follow this strip, in spite of Comic Curmudgeon’s intense focus on it, so I don’t know this story. As the alien dropping in on the action without knowing the backstory, just looking at this scene, it would appear the blond This Old House guy has lured the cravat-wearing elite to his historical home to jog his memory from a past life when they were lovers. “It makes me think about life and stuff. … Know what I mean?”

  38. twg
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    The-Ghost-Who-Has-An-Unsettlingly-Buff-Family: Is that June Morgan?

  39. Onyx Blackman
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    Panel two reveals the jig is up. Margo’s disguise was pretty convincing, but I’m afraid operation: “Make Lu Ann Think Her Boyfriend Is Totes Gay HaHaHa” will never spread its wings and soar. The photos wont fool anyone.

  40. Esther Blodgett
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    IRL I’m an office manager, and I didn’t get today’s Blondie at all. Keep your head down and try not to make waves?! Geez, Dagwood, if you haven’t acting like a petty dictator and running things behind the curtain, it’s no wonder you’ve never gotten anywhere at JC Dithers & Co. You’re an embarrassment to the noble administrative profession.

  41. Maggie the Cat
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    @Natalie (#27):
    I don’t think Margo will be pissed. She’s the one who keeps mentioning how cute they are together. I think she’s looking forward to the vicarious thrill she’ll get when they finally consummate their Paul on Trey passion.

  42. Hibbleton
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    MT: “w . . . where am I? . . . and why am I wearing a diaper!?”

    Blondie: Makes some sense if you consider that in panel 2 the barber stepped back because Dagwood just cut one which interrupted the proper placement of panel 3 as panel 2. The punch line would have been in panel 3 (the now missing panel 4).

  43. Black Drazon
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    Since showing off real estate has been a byword for frumpy, off-panel sex lately in A3G, seeing Paul remind Trey just how terrible his lot is takes on a whole new light, and I think I look forward to the rest of the week far more than Paul will, or Margo once she finds out.

  44. Scott Bot
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    GT – Hey, hey, hey! When did Fat Albert transfer to Milford?

  45. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    an ounce of SQWEEE!

    Irish noms.

    one for the ladies. Happy B-day, Daniel Craig!

    a .gif for the pervy hobbit fanciers and yaoi fangirls.

    if it’s an Acme, it’s a gasser!

    foozles and politics.

    win with crustaceans, and with Zen.

    Hai, kanz we be fwiends?

    The Daily Puppy is a corgsqui.

    epic puppeh face.

  46. Pseudo3D
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    9CL – He’s just as shallow as Spider-Man.

    DT – The rat makes a dirty hand gesture just before he is shot.


    FC – Isn’t this whole arc kind of odd when the Sunday comic had the “Best Actor” (pretending to be sick) thing in it? Maybe Billy really isn’t sick after all.

    FW – Smirk smirk smirk

    MW – It’s supposed to be an Apple laptop. Unfortunately, it looks like a black take-out tray with the Apple logo sloppily painted on.

    S-M – Good point.

  47. S. Stout
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Luann: What is this I don’t even…

    MW: Apple marketing! Or in this case, with Depressing Dawn using a Macbook…Apple smear campaign.

  48. Old School Allie Cat
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    Luann – Oh, Bernice – it’s so cute that you’re pretending to consider entering the pageant, but your hair is a disaster and you don’t even have boobs.

    In fact, you are the one character whose looks haven’t changed an iota since Greggggg Evans started neglecting you back in the 80s. I mean really… crimped hair?

    And as for you, Delta… don’t you have Whales to Save?

  49. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    GT: Wear green.

    That brought a stupid flashback to Junior High School when if you didn’t wear something green on Thursday, you were a queer. (Oops, today is Thursday. Checking wardrobe…. pants… green… shirt… light green. Yup. Okay.)

  50. Esther Blodgett
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    JP: And that concludes today’s episode of Intense Gaze Theatre.

    RMMD: In panel 2, it looks as if June has clawed Mr. Amato’s eyes out…with her mind!

    Pluggers are at the mercy of drug companies and unscrupulous doctors! I get it!

  51. Dood
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    Is it too much to wish for a Rex Morgan-Apartment 3-G crossover with June and Margo pole-dancing together in Hoboken? More zippers, mule, indeed.

  52. Johnny Knuckles
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    Blondie: Technically, being an office manager is not a thankless job.The powerful office manager lobby has established the month of June as Office Manager Appreciation Month. The silent panel could be Dagwood reflecting that he gets a sanctioned career celebration and all the barber gets is his retired father’s desk nameplate.

  53. Esther Blodgett
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#49): Looks like Paul and Trey didn’t get the memo…or did they? Wink, nudge, and that.

  54. dakrat
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    I’m gay and yet the highlight of my day has been the prospect of June Morgan working the pole. God help me what has this site done to me?

  55. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    The new(?) guy reminds me of Walt Kelly and Bill Watterson:

  56. TheDiva
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: Good for her. I’m starting to think they create unsafe conditions and reverse-psychology Rose into getting into them so she’ll no longer be a burden on their precious Boomer lives.

    DT: Is that rat flipping him off?

    FW: I think I liked Wally better when he was shell shocked and anti-social. He’s reaching almost Les-ian levels of smugness here.

    MW: Meanwhile, poor Dawn has resorted to drawing an Apple logo on one of her father’s take-home boxes and pretending its a laptop.

  57. phoebes-in-santa fe
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    RMMD – as for June being “hot”, don’t you remember on last year’s cruise plot when June ran around for days – seemingly, anyway – in a bikini under a see-through wrap? I was shocked nobody told her to cover up, that she was too old to be wearing that get-up.

  58. Johnny Knuckles
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#2): I can see it. Now, where can I find more of your writing? You know, with more detail and stuff…

  59. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    Today’s Dogg — Lassie: Not Just Another Pretty Face!

    Shoe — Introducing “Carlotta Cluck”… sister to Pluggers’ “Henrietta Beak”!

  60. Little Guy
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    @RichterCa (#9): I’m still holding out for the Island from LOST, Smoke Monster, and all. I’m hoping he floated back in time and he’ll be facepunching members of the DHARMA Initiative.

    Then again, I’ll take having him looking into a mirror and start punching himself in the face FOR NO GOOD REASON!!{*}

    {*} – Trademark, Barry Wilkins, All Rights Reserved. You have a problem with that? (DianeGlower.jpg)

  61. VoodooChicken
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    MT: Tune in next time when Mark breaks his fists fighting the beardy in the mirror!

  62. Flummoxicated
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    I think I’ve figured out the reason behind the latest insanely implausible Mark Trail storyline (cravat-wearing guy who smuggles diamonds in fishing lures, Kelly Welly having the intelligence of a paramecium, Mark somehow surviving a gunshot wound and an incredibly localized storm and drifting for days to wash up on what may very well be Gilligan’s Island )! Family Circus substitute cartoonist Billy is now subbing for Elrod!

  63. Swordsmith
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    AS: It’s the little things that keep me reading this one. You’ll loin to love it.

    Curtis: Leaving aside the whole “mother gains superhuman strength to rescue child” trope, lets look at this story, which incredibly Billingsly has finally illustrated for us. She doesn’t in fact lift the car, rather she rolls it onto its side. That would indeed enable her to then pick up the child and walk away. But am I to believe she moves the child, sets it down, and then superhumanly pulls the car back down onto its tires?

    FW: Panel two. A) Dog sensed slight tensing and nudged calf, reassuring, anchoring, and centering Wally, mission accomplished. B) gratuitous shot of dog doing nothing, just reminding you of Wally’s insanity arc, similar to panel one’s gratuitous shot of Becky’s pinned up sleeve. Your call.

  64. Just Call Me E
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    Don’t think anyone has posted this yet; if so – sorry for repeat:

    New Dick Tracy artist team and examples of new art work

  65. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    @Just Call Me E (#64): My gosh! They’re gonna have Mel Brooks as the Chief of Police?!


  66. JD
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    What Z said:
    The “joke” is that Dagwood is lying about how important he is and the barber’s calling his bullshit. Dagwood could have come up with a better lie to impress people and make the joke a bit clearer: “Being the Secretary of State of this country seems like a thankless task.”

  67. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    @JD (#66):
    Or… Being Charlie Sheen seems like a thankless task.

  68. Scott Bot
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#67): It’s not easy being Sheen…

    (apologies to Kermit the Frog)

  69. Little Guy
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:52 am [Reply]


  70. LeNoceur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    I am excited to see the development of Steven Seagal’s character in Judge Parker.

  71. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#68): *SNURK!* well played, sir!

  72. Jasper
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    MT – Those are tears of joy from Cherry as she ponders that hefty life insurance settlement. Its not as if she’s going to miss Mark, as she sees him what?, once a month, for 5 minutes at a time before he goes into a panic attack at the throes of marriage and intimacy and abandons her with Rusty and the old man. Now she can escape the dregs of her life at Lost Forest and begin anew. Hey, who pulled Mark’s covers off him from panel 2 to panel 3.

    RMMD- The Morgans have been talking lately of being short on cash and the sinister look of excited curiosity on June’s face, hmm. I would love to see those perky tits of June released from their prison.

  73. Maggie the Cat
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    @Johnny Knuckles (#58):

    As her stage set begins, June would polish an apple with her blouse, eat a bite of it, and then try to swat someone in the crowd with a ruler for “talking” during class ;-)

    Then Van Halen begins.

  74. bats :[
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @Jessy (#1): at least there’s a reason. You can never have too many clients in these tough economic times.

    @Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy (#11): re FC: but if we didn’t have the “Billy is sick” arc, we’d have to endure another six-day “It’s Spring Break, let’s go camping!/to the beach!/to Washington, D.C.!/to Hell in a handcart!” story.

    @Not just any Dipstick (#19): or …in his pants! (Thank you, Geoff Peterson.)

    @Sparkle Plenty (#28): maybe it’s the island that Johnny Depp owns. Tomorrow: Mark Trail punches out Capt. Jack Sparrow!

  75. Chip Whittle
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    Buckles: Paul discovers the snugglebunnies implicit in taking his once-every-three-months bath.

    Dick Tracy Of The Past: The colorizing is still the lazy radial gradient, but I’m delighted by the rat in the second panel calling for the rat people’s united power.

    How is it Dick Tracy doesn’t have enough bullets to shoot each of a horde of rats individually? Other than that under the Locher/Brozman administration he can’t do anything?

    Edge City: Yes, I totally believe in people going to therapists in the hopes of overcoming their fears of karaoke, only to be helped by seeing YouTube videos of people humiliating themselves singing into their hairbrushes. This is all perfectly credible.

    Gasoline Alley: “On his way to deliver the documents, Captain Jack forgot the documents.” It would be ridiculous except that history is ridiculous. I can’t fault them for this development.

    The Phantom: Uh-oh. Phantom Child Unit Two there better explain she wants mommy to cut her hair, or else the Ghost Who Walks will indulge her by letting her do time in Gravelines Prison.

  76. Carlo
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    Of course, with a name like Amato, he had to be sleazy in the WASPy world of Rex Morgan. What’s next, A guy named McGee who drinks too much?

    But I’m interested to know what Amato’s business card reads. My guess is “Amato’s Garage Painting”, which explains June’s interested look in the final panel.

  77. Braniff
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    FC: Some “symphony” for Billy? Let’s see, how about Mahler’s 8th–the Symphony of a Thousand with orchestra, soloists and choruses lasting well over an hour. That will really KO him!!!

  78. Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    Dagwood’s an office manager? That… never occurred to me. I think the writers just felt they needed to throw in a job title, and wanted something generic, but office manager isn’t actually very generic. Now Marketing Manager (à la Sally Forth), sure.

    I think I know what the joke is supposed to be, but it’s not clear, because Dagwood’s statements have been softened, and so they don’t really contradict each other (as you’d expect them to, in the context). So here, I rewrote it:

    Barber: So how’s everything at work these days?
    Dagwood: Oh, you know, work work work, never stop working.


    Barber: It’s just the two of us here, you know.
    Dagwood: I sleep most of the day and spend the rest of the time eating.

  79. Mibbitmaker
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Given the “for no reason” strips, I’m guessing she wouldn’t do the same implausible-but-with-precedent thing for Curtis.

    HotC: She’s talking to her crator’s signature…. back away slowly……….

  80. dale
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail‘s keeper/caretaker is an indentured servant on a private island. She can’t let her overlords know about Mark.

  81. Roktober
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    “There are a least 10 new and important books books being released next week…and with only half that many people to read them you can see that timing is everything!”

  82. Maggie the Cat
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Is Judge Parker set in present day? Because that Constance chick looks very 1978 to me.

  83. Other
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Unlike the previous two strips, the waitress has failed to stop by and bring Wilbur yet another sandwich. If this keeps up for another ten seconds, they are going to lose their coveted five-star rating.

  84. bats :[
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @Bootsy (#31): I get all warm and squishy and stuff knowing that Starbuck’s is a big loser in the Big Easy. Have a faboo Mardi Gras!

    @Scott Bot (#68): I love that comment violently.

    @Carlo (#76): I just like that sleazy guys in RMMD tend to have a brush-style hairdo (Max “the Ax” Malloy, Amato) like Dan Fielding from “Night Court.”
    (And the late Joe d’Amato make some great X-rated movies that teetered dangerously close (even falling over the edge on occasion) to having actual plots!)

  85. Mibbitmaker
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#79): Creator’s signature, that is. Sure, preview-change the Curtis comment and everything’s supposed to be fine, right?

  86. Josh
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    @Z (#26): Yeah, but Dagwood is the office manager. I don’t know if this is a recent development or not, but over the past few years it’s been established that this is his job title. I have no idea how that fits in with Dithers’ constant demands that he works on “reports” about “accounts,” since that sounds more like sales to me, but there you have it.


  87. Scott Bot
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    DT – Today’s special guest star: Ben as the rat in the second panel (and Ernest Borgnine as Mordred)!

  88. henebry
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    Here’s my fix for Blondie:

    click for cartoon

  89. Mom Jeans and Spawn
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @dale (#80): Our overlord already got what was coming to him, and now with Mark Trail in our possesion we will soon conquer the entire archipelago. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  90. hcv
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    In panel two, Dagwood and the barber are looking across the page to see if Dilbert or even Sally Forth has a bit of office humor they can appropriate.

    Alas, today the neighbor strip is Wee Pals, and trying to shoehorn in a joke about Chinese soul food isn’t going to work at all.

  91. Limber Joe
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    MT – Have you ever seen the movie, “The Beguiled”?

  92. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @hcv (#90):
    You know, that’s funny.

  93. TheTJ
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    Panel two is the barber trying to figure out just what the HELL he’s supposed to do about Dagwood’s hair.

  94. Dr. P and the Women
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Amato really dropped the ball on this one by not showing her his terrifying devil face from a few days ago, then June might’ve been on board with this whole part-time stripper arrangement.

  95. kkarenb
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#49):
    In my school, you were if you did wear green on Thursday.

    A3G – Does anyone else think that Paul resembles the late Troy Donahue?

    FC – Don’t the Keanes live in a ranch house? Billy’s bedroom looks like it’s the size of an airplane hangar.



  96. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#45): Must…. close… Daniel Craig picture…. and get ….to work…..

  97. Mark B
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: While you’re shooting at the rats, or chihuahuas, or whatever they are … remember to save a few bullets for Dr. Mordred. Or just let the rats eat him. Oddly enough, they seem to have a taste for serial killer, but not for bacon.

  98. LogopolisMike
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    A3G: I came in here to comment on the sausage fest that is A3G today, but it seems everybody has this covered. I couldn’t think of a time where there have been only men in the strip — then I remembered back when the Professor was writing prescriptions for Margo’s crazy mom, and realized two things (a) the Professor doesn’t count as a man, and (b) Aunt Iris only seemed like she was bringing life to the strip but instead she’s brought nothing but architecture and environmentalism and…zzzzzz.

    GT: But speaking of codes used by and to mock the homosexual community, I think it’s hilarious that so many folks in Milford are wearing green on Thursday in support of Lini. Verde or not, I’m amused.

  99. odinthor
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    Blondie. — The answer to the meaning of this dark conundrum of a strip lies undoubtedly in the three totem figures featured in panels two and three. Are they the Fates? Are they the Holy Trinity? Are they The Supremes? As we learn, it is only by silent reflection, and having one’s hair cut, that one may hope to approach The Truth.

  100. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Come on now. He’s putting together a deal for a strip club, he’s getting kicked out of his would-be sucker’s house, and June is standing right there in the doorway. How could he not ask?

    Blondie: It’s kind of interesting when things get weird and sad and jokeless like this. Wouldn’t want to see that every day, though. (cough *Winkerbean* cough)

    A3G: I’d characterize Trey’s thoughts more as, “Sentimental. Not too bright. Man, I could rob this guy blind.”

    GT: “What if someone made a website mocking your fat ass, porky? Wait a minute, that would be hilarious! I’m so doing that when I get home.”

    C-Shaft: Haha, old people! Can’t live with ‘em, can’t murder them and drop the bodies in the Cuyahoga!

    Baldo: They say that if you sit with your eyes to close to the screen, you’ll go blind. Under the same logic, TV will make Baldo sterile.

    Phantom: And the kids are dressed as UPS truckers why again?

    S-M: Jameson sensually runs his fingers through his cigar-stained flattop. Because you demanded it, true believer!

    MW: A delayed puberty, finally triggered by Twitter.

    6C: Haha, it’s funny because two words in two different contexts can mean… pretty much exactly the same thing.

    S4th: The Forths were making out during a their daughter’s school play. A play involving a woman who (SPOILER ALERT) murders her children as revenge against her faithless husband. Somewhere Sigmund Freud just lit up a fresh cigar.

  101. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    Broom Hilda — And she’s so busty, Broomie has to buy her cups in a trophy shop!

    Sadly, BH isn’t on Josh Fruhlinger’s List of Approved Comics… your loss, man!

  102. greghousesgf
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    That one rat giving the power salute in Dick Tracy has an odd facial resemblance to Beavis.
    Also, I’m intrigued by them even showing Dagwood’s barber because Dagwood has the weirdest hair of ANY non-Japanese cartoon character. (Archie runs a distant second.)

  103. Mark B
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    Looks like the artwork is a big improvement. Cleanly drawn. The ‘Locher Auditorium’ is a nice touch.

  104. nancy sluggo 4ever
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    totem figures? I don’t know what the blue one is but the yellow and orange ones are celebriducks.

  105. Mark B
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    The above was meant to be a reply to Just Call Me E @64

  106. Mustang
    March 3rd, 2011 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    The office manager where I work is a peppy, efficient, helpful sort. It must be weird when an employee goes to ask Dagwood for a form or supplies and he just stares at them blankly and goes back to playing Porky Poker.

  107. Adjuster
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    No love for today’s Sally Forth? I’m rolling on the floor thinking of a 6th-grade production of Medea.

    Ces beats the censors once more!

  108. Mark B
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    And if you were set upon by rats, wouldn’t kicking and stomping be a more effective strategy than shooting at them? One stomp and they’re dead … and nobody gets injured by a missed shot or ricochet.

  109. Nosyt
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    Wait, so Dagwood is the office manager?! Has this been mentioned before? (next mystery: can anyone tell me what Ward Cleaver’s job was besides a daily escape from the whiny Theodore?)

  110. Jim North
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    A3G: It’s the Serial Killer Odd Couple!

    Blondie: Y’know, I went years without having a single clue exactly what it was Dagwood did for a living. All I ever knew was that he worked at an office that handled reports and files and accounts or whatever. Now it seems we can’t go two days without Dag or someone else stating or otherwise confirming that he’s an office manager.

    And I just got to the end of that paragraph and realized that I don’t actually have any snark to offer. It’s . . . it’s just weird, that’s all.

    Curtis: What they don’t show is the two weightlifters standing on either side, just off camera, helping her out.

    H&L: And whatever small bit of mental development Trixie may have managed over her interminable years as a toddler has been completely wiped out as a tennis ball smacks her right on the soft part of her skull.

    MT: Let the self-punching COMMENCE!

    Pluggers of the Future think that because food now comes in pill form, they can just down it by the handful without consequences.

    RMMD: Take the job, June! Take the job. Take the goddamned job.

    Shoe: No. This isn’t a Shoe/Pluggers crossover. I’m just imagining things. I have to be.

    S-M: Y’know, I like JJJ. I like even more that even though every single other character in this strip is completely different in the most horrible way from their counterparts in other Spider-Man media, JJJ is still JJJ through and through. And more specifically, I like that in this installment, JJJ shows that he’s perfectly aware that he’s in the Marvel universe, weird shit happens there, and you’ve just gotta roll with it, dammit.

  111. liz
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: I thought the barber was waiting for him to thank him. Or acknowledge the fact that his job is more thankless…in so many ways.

  112. Scott Bot
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    @Mustang (#106): …and goes back to playing Porky Poker.

    That could be interpreted any number of different ways, none of them good.

  113. Jim North
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    @teenchy (#14): HA! “Arm’s length”. I get it.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#20): 9CL without clothes? I don’t see how that can be anything but an improvement, but then, I don’t read Love is . . .

  114. commodorejohn
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    A3G – So I’m thinking that in that old, old house, Paullinski found a stash of prime, aged “dope.” Seriously, knowwhatImean? (DISCLAIMER: I do not actually have any idea if real marijuana improves or goes stale with age. However, since I’m pretty certain it’s not imbibed from oversize tampon wrappers either, that’s probably irrelevant.)

    Bizarro – If I don’t try to figure this out, it can’t eat my brain.

    BR – I’d have had to award extra points if that was a meaningful Life pattern on PAL there.

    C&B – The celery sticking out of the grocery bag is making me deathly afraid that this is about to take a turn for the Art Frahm. (NSFW, and if it is, your boss is probably on the lam.)

    Crankshaft – I hate you all and wish you would die in a nuclear attack.

    Curtis – Lift the car enough to get the kid out? Possibly. Lift it onto its side? No. Just no.

    DT – Did we just see a rat give someone the finger? Well, that’s how I choose to interpret panel two.

    FW – Oh goody, time for some more fun with PTSD freakouts!

    MT – When Mark sees himself in the mirror, he’s going to let loose with a WHAT? that will put Darth Vader’s Big No to shame.

    MW – Uh, I really don’t think we needed to see the box of tissues next to Dawn as she falls deeper into private in-bedroom Internet obsession, thanks.

    OBH – Uncle…Aldo!? “Bad clams?” Was that what Mary got the coroner to put on the report?

    Phantom – Better not, Heloise. We won’t have any way to tell you from Kit Jr. Well, unless he starts romping around in man-diapers again.

    SF – Medea? Oh, Ces, you just win. Which roles did Hil and Faye play?

    SM – Can’t argue with that. Really, I wonder why anyone in the Marvel universe even bothers being a skeptic.


  115. ArchieNemesis
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    I love how in Mark Trail, getting shot in the head and left for dead at sea in a small boat during a major storm is kind of a lark and an exciting opportunity to make new friends, whereas in Crankshaft, getting the mail out the mailbox on a normal day is a dismal, dark, depressing experience that confirms how much you hate your family and life in general.

  116. Effluvius Erratus
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

    Bizarro: In a thousand years, archeologists will unearth today’s panel and infer that Oscar Wilde and Gene Wilder were each some manner of nature deity, like Pan, gods of revelry and the wild places. They won’t be too far off the mark.

    Crankshaft, response #1: Haw-haw! [/Nelson Muntz]
    Crankshaft, response #2: You got served! [/pun]
    Crankshaft, response #3: That’s what you get, you #*@%ing lazy-*$$, condescending, mother#*@%ing patronizing *$$holes!

    FW: “That’s great, Wally! I think you’ll really enjoy the program. We’ll be playing the 1812 Overture, followed by Wellington’s Victory and Victory at Sea.

    MW: “My little college-age girl is growing up! This has never happened before in the history of the human race! Waa! Waa!” Worst. Advice. Columnist. Ever.

    Momma: I don’t know what strip you’ve been reading, Thomas, but yes, she most definitely was.

    Phantom: “And I want to lose 45% of my muscle mass, just like you!”

    Pluggers are drug addicts, but are in still in denial because their drugs are government-approved and -paid for.

  117. Mollificent
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    A3G: hee hee! Oh, Paul, never change. :)

    Crankshaft: *reaches slowly for meat cleaver*

    Oh Brother:  not to put too fine a point on it, say I’m the only bee in your bonnet…;)

    RMMD: I find myself liking the speculative gleam in June’s eye…

    SM: If Spidey ends up battling Edward Cullen, I will forgive Stan Lee everything. 

  118. Écureuil Écumant
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    JP: That’d be “no fewer than” ten important books, not “no less than”, Constance Wilson. In your line of work, words matter.

  119. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    @Nosyt (#109): Extensive research (Wikipedia) indicates that Ward’s actual job was never mentioned in the series. However, it was mentioned that he was an engineer for the Seabees while in the Navy.

    If you feel like wasting time checking the source, here’s the link.

  120. Maggie the Cat
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#114):

    LOL at the tampon wrappers… the “pipe” does look like a heavy-flow super absorbent tampon. Real pipes to “take pot” don’t look like that, haha. And real pot doesn’t make you overly excited to look at art, either. It does make you want to polish off the leftover pizza and a box of Little Debbie Cosmic Brownies while watching old episodes of “Who’s the Boss”, though.

  121. bats :[
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @Limber Joe (#91): I saw that in a movie theater in Mexico City a million years ago! I don’t know what was more surreal, the movie, the dubbing into Spanish with English subtitles, or the surroundings.
    I wonder if it’s one of “those movies,” that a serious actor disavows any knowlege of making…

  122. bats :[
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#100): re Phantom: because their usual jungle diapers chafe so when they go horseback-riding.
    Geez. I thought that would be obvious. ;)

  123. Eau de Plugger
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    God help me, but today’s Ziggy made me want to print it out and post it on my door at work.

  124. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#118): Yes. Grammatica cringed.

  125. Écureuil Écumant
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    DT: Now hold on. This building was described as a granary, right? So either it’s an abandoned, ruined granary — in which case it wouldn’t have hundreds of rats. Or it’s an active granary — whose posited hundreds of rats would hardly be ravenous. “Something doesn’t make sense here”

    Pow-errrrr to the rodents … pow-errrrr to the rodents, rat on.

  126. MaryAnnTheRest
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @ArchieNemesis (#115): You know, people are staring at me right now for how much I’m laughing at this. But yes, I like it very much too.

    Luann: OK, Delta’s set-up for Bernice’s “joke” wins today’s Clumsiest Setup Line award. “Hmm, Pitts School? Seems like a good cause. If only there was some way I could find out something about this school I attend.”

  127. Écureuil Écumant
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    @4 Professional Mole said:

    “Perhaps he fears that the huge, unbroken pane of glass is a one-way mirror that Mr. Dithers is hiding on the other side of, seething.”
    Can’t blame him, that was my exact first thought!

    And there’s just something about Dithers’ squat, bandylegged stance and big-barreled, forward-leaning torso that invariably makes me picture him springing headlong from the ground like the Gatekeeper in “Ghostbusters” and smashing through the mirror to bury his ichorous fangs in Dag’s throat.

  128. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#125): Don’t forget that there is a flood outside and the rats could have come from anywhere to escape the rising waters. That’s probably why we didn’t see them sooner. Although sooner would have been better.

  129. Phred22
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    Barney & Clyde: Even new strips are using ‘anachro-graphics’. Observe how the cutting-edge technogeeks still have incandescent light bulbs glow overhead in their thought balloons. The brightest one should have got the new twisty model, methinks.

  130. Not just any Dipstick
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#30): No, my grandson got it right. He has some stuff…. up his nose!
    then you add, to my horror….
    Like I said.
    Stuff?! That’s of what pancakes are made!

    DO NOT ruin by breakfast by putting the two together.

  131. Crankenstank
    March 3rd, 2011 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    The odd ubertext of Blondie in recent weeks has been establishing Dagwood’s job for JC Dithers & Co. as “office manager” (he was an account representative since, oh, about 1928, although there is no particular reason for his job to be specified, since it’s clear he’s really lazy.) I am wondering whether this is an attempt to tie in to the whole “The Office” phenomenon, some lame attempt to reconnect with the everyman now that a low-paid soul-numbing office job is what passes for a middle class employment (when the strip started, “office work” was “exciting” and a sign of upward mobility, in the face of Dagwood’s own downward mobility after having been disinherited.) It can’t possibly be a way of ennobling Dagwood. There is another theory that has occurred to me: Dagwood is living a Walter Mitty-like fantasy, where instead of being a lowly clerk he’s an important “manager” in charge of paper clips and toner cartridges. His expectations have become so low this is apparently now as high as he can dream.

  132. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    @Phred22 (#129): I think even B.C. uses the incandescent light bulb to depict ideas.
    They should be using a campfire.

  133. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @Not just any Dipstick (#130): Checking the time, it’s now pancakes for lunch.

    And for Baka Gaijin, it’s pancakes (or oatcakes) for supper, or dinner or whatever they call it over there.

  134. True Fable
    March 3rd, 2011 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    My daughter Kitten Fable is getting married this Saturday. I have been tearing around all over the place looking for salmon squares to serve and can’t find anything that will do. We have plenty of Potato-Ade though, only the bartender insists on calling it “vodka”. Yeah whatever pal; this is Greater Metropolitan Roopville, not the goddamn Riviera.

    Anyhow, it will take me days to get over my hangover come down out of the clouds but honestly, I can’t come up with anything snarkish today. :) Yay Kitten! She’s the only young lady in Georgia with 120 ninja goats for a dowry.

    Who could ask for anything more?

  135. spike
    March 3rd, 2011 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @Braniff (#77): So true!

  136. Drew Funk
    March 3rd, 2011 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    I’m stuck on the uncanny resemblance disheveled Mark Trail has to the various hobos and bums Dr. Mike’s dad interrogated without success a couple of Mary Worth plots ago. Maybe we’ll finally find out who killed what’s-his-name in the gruesome mid-frolic drive-by, at which point I’d finally be able to sleep at night.

  137. Nonymous
    March 3rd, 2011 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    Anyone else look at today’s RM and think that the guy grabbed the signature “card”?

  138. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#134): Congrats to you and yours, True. I hope that no good new son-in-law knows what to do with the goats!

  139. terrapin
    March 3rd, 2011 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    MT: Why oh why am I imagining the Castle Anthrax scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail? “We must examine you.” And I expect mark’s reaction to be no different tham Michael Palin’s.

    MW: Oh man, this story just gets more and more creepy. I just noticed the framed photo of Dawn and Wilber on Dawn’s dresser, undoubtedly bolted there by Wilber himself and…Aaaaaaaah!…did I just see Wilber’s eyes move like in one of those spooky old house movies?

  140. Charterstoned
    March 3rd, 2011 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    For three weeks and counting, the story has moved with glacial pace.
    There are no tensions mounting, just a stubbled growth on Mark’s face.
    WHAT is going on, and when IS this story ending?
    I searched the archive comics to review the plotline wending,
    And fear too many questions now still left to answer
    Will grow more deadly daily panels, like some loathsome cancer:
    WHO is this woman, and WHY is she wary?
    And WHY is she fearful, when there seems nary
    A soul on this island save this haltered wench
    And her Rusty-like daughter Ava? Indentured servant, she?
    Who, fearing a master’s wrath, had fled to the sea,
    But, seeing Mark, was reduced to a Cherry Wannabe?
    White-armed as Hera, but with Herculean power
    She dragged the bullet ridden Mark to her island bower,
    And applying butterfly bandage to his dented head
    Laid his increasingly hairy form in her own bunk bed.
    “Where am I?” His question, weakly posed, receives her reply.
    But tomorrow, Mark will ask another: “WHO am I?”
    And ’round the plot will go for yet another month or more.
    Dare I ask the question, now: WHAT, dear God, oh WHAT could be in store????

  141. True Fable
    March 3rd, 2011 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#138): He’s a good Nebraska farm boy who knows from goats! That scored big points with me, plus he’s wild about Kitten. See, I can tell a sincere goat lover from some flash-in-the-pan trendy type, just as I can tell an “A” list suitor from a jerk. This guy’s a keeper.

    I suggested she fix her hair up something like this but oddly enough, she did not agree. I don’t know why. It’s an updo, isn’t it?

  142. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#141): Well, I’m glad you’re getting a son-in-law you like. That will certainly help the family dynamic.

    I really don’t see what you daughter had against that hair style. It seems perfect for a wedding. Maybe she prefers a more windswept do (the beard is optional).

  143. Bootsy
    March 3rd, 2011 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#134):
    Aw, Truman! That’s great!

  144. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 3rd, 2011 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#122): Right under my nose and I didn’t see it. :)

  145. Shrug
    March 3rd, 2011 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @Z (#26):

    “The joke in Blondie is that Dagwood is fictitiously claiming to be the office manager, and the barber is calling him out on it.”

    No, Dagwood has been described as the office manager now and then before; I recall being surprised some thirty years ago when I first read that — Dithers actually gives him *responsibilities,* instead of just keeping him around as a convenient punching bag? But it was so.

    But don’t take my word (or the word of the ghost of Chic Young) for it:


  146. Effluvius Erratus
    March 3rd, 2011 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    @terrapin (#139) & others: Wilbur is totally creeping me out. Normally, I find him merely pathetic and annoying, but his utter and complete inability to accept or even understand the concept Grown Daughter is Grown is swiftly putting him into Lifetime Original Movie-villain territory. They can call it Dawn: Diary of a Stay-At-Home Daughter. It would have a Usual Suspects-style, nonlinear narrative, but instead of Kevin Spacey, we’d Dawn’s Twitter feed being reviewed by police as they try to figure out how and why Chartstone got burned to the ground. And who is Kaiser Röllze?

  147. Shrug
    March 3rd, 2011 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#49):

    “That brought a stupid flashback to Junior High School when if you didn’t wear something green on Thursday, you were a queer. (Oops, today is Thursday. Checking wardrobe…. pants… green… shirt… light green. Yup. Okay.)”

    In my high school (northern Minnesota, early 1960s), the rule was that were such if you *did* wear green on Thursdays. In fact, some claimed that wearing green on *any* day was suspect, on the basis that “Thursday is Fairy Day, but every day is practice day!”

    Hard now to believe that once mattered at all to the (much) younger me…

  148. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    March 3rd, 2011 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    MT: Still wondering what kind of gunshot wound Mark is suffering from that he passed out from the pain, was still unconscious when he was drug from the sea a week later, but can be nursed back to health in somebody’s home without major brain damage…

  149. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    March 3rd, 2011 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#48): This reminds me of an old Andy Griffith Show episode, where Andy is roped into judging the Mayberry Beauty Pageant. Of course, his girlfriend, the hottest girl in town, is the odds-on favorite to win; but if she does the whole town will cry favoritism.

    Good ol’ Andy saves the day, of course, by picking a non-contestant — the little old lady who plays the piano and volunteers for everything, as the most “beautiful woman in town.”

  150. Mustang
    March 3rd, 2011 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @Charterstoned (#140):

    You think that Mark
    has jumped the shark?
    Alas it could be true.
    But somehow he keeps trailing on
    And we keep reading too.

  151. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#147): Oh, great. You just reminded me of “fairy hooks.” They were the shirts with the loop on the back that allowed easy hang up. The “hoods” (or hood wannabes) in the school would sneak up behind someone with a “fairy hook” shirt, yell, “FAIRY HOOK!” and prompty pull the hook off the shirt. Cheap shirts often resulted in ripping the shirt as well. This, of course, was in Junior High.

    I always made sure I picked out my own shirts when it came to clothes shopping time so I wouldn’t get a “fairy hook” shirt.

  152. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @LeNoceur (#70): Old movie trailer: “Steven Seagal EXPLODES ON SCREEN!” Yea, I’d pay to see him blown up…

  153. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @Josh (#86): Maybe Dag’s job is like that one guy from NBC’s “The Office”: Assistant (to the) Manager…

  154. Little Guy
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#134): Yeah to Kitten Fable and the soon-to-be Fable-in-Law! Here’s to many happy Rex and June/Sam and Abbey/Sally and Ted days, no Lockhorns times, and remember to breathe when they get to the vows so that you don’t have any Zombie FOOB flashbacks.

  155. Esther Blodgett
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    @Josh (#86) et al: Possibly cute story (feel free to skip to someone’s snark):

    When Precocious Daughter was little, I would sometimes bring her to work with me. One day she offered to help me do my job, so I told her to write a report. When I asked her how the report was going, she launched into a summary, along the lines of “Well, we’re running low on ostriches, and the lions keep eating the zebras so we had to separate them, and we just got in another shipment of snakes that we don’t have room for, but that’s OK because we’ll be shipping out a bunch of monkeys today.”

    And if that’s not (a slightly fictionalized version of) what an office manager does all day, I don’t know what is. :)

  156. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#134): Open Potatoe-aide bar? I’m there! Congratulations to you and best wishes to the bride.

  157. H-Bob
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    @VoodooChicken (#61): Hopefully, Mark Trail first will yell at his reflection “I don’t even know who you are any more !”

  158. frippy
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    When JJJ speaks about “the powers of a spider,” I assume he’s referring to Peter’s ability to hang still in one place for days, waiting for food to come to him.

  159. Mysterious Shirtless Lawyer
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    LUV that vertical “Meanwhile,” with the edges of the panels indented to make room for it, in today’s Mark Trail. Nobody do what Eldrod do. Nobody.

  160. gnome de blog
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    @dakrat (#54):
    Well, at least you’re not dancing with Fernanda Johns.

  161. Fashion Police
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#2):
    We are mortified to say so, but even that would be better than those horrid 1970s plaid trousers. They look like something Mrs. Lu Ann Powers might have picked up at the Vintage Shoppe, except Mr. Bolle never exerts himself beyond solid colors.

  162. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker — “There are no less than 10 new and important books being released next week!”

    These are the 10 books:

  163. cj
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    Mark has turned his head away from his host, indicating his disgust with himself at allowing himself to be violated (taken to a woman’s house instead of the reverse). Think about it, this is the first time he’s been seen at someone else’s house!
    Meanwhile, Cherry sheds a single tear, letting the audience know that Mark’s existence is in peril and to call the toll free number on screen to donate.

  164. Fashion Police
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @phoebes-in-santa fe (#57):
    With the divine Mrs. Agnes Dunsmore around for inspiration we paid less than full attention to Mrs. Morgan’s troubles.

  165. Effluvius Erratus
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#151): In my school, that was a “fag tag.”

  166. bats :[
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @Effluvius Erratus (#116): re Bizarro: As I really like both Wilde and Wilder, I do appreciate your assessment. It’s something I can live with. And stuff.
    re Phantom: among other things…

    @Mollificent (#117): re S-M: WHAT battle? Peter and Edward would probably just go and watch TV and stuff.

  167. new_squid_in_town
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    MW: Panel 1: Having detached his left arm and used it to prop his head up, Wilbur loses to a young Margaret Thatcher at arm-wrestling with his right.

    Panel 2: She’s got the Kleenex, she’s found the lady-friendly porn site, so you’d think she’d turn away the creepy photograph of dad.

    MT: “Do not move, or the tram ticket we balanced on your brow will slip off.”

    A3-G So this is what the boys do prior to date night, while the girls are trying on lingerie and giggling. Maybe they have a narcoleptic uncle in the back of their car too.

    RMMD: “Domo arigato, Mr. Amato!”

  168. Effluvius Erratus
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#166) re: Phantom: Who knew the secret to rock-hard abs was slave labor and a cockroach diet?

  169. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @Just Call Me E (#64): I like Staton’s version of Chief Liz a lot better. Though I didn’t know that she was a fan of Yippy proto-punk band the MC5, nor that they had branded coffee mugs.

  170. DeLand DeLakes
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    Yow, Constance’s transformation is startling indeed! Those eyebrows would make Divine jealous!

  171. Fashion Police
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#134) said:

    Who could ask for anything more?

    121 ninja goats, perhaps?

    For give the intrusion, but we take it on faith that the father-of-the-bride and the groom will not be wearing matching burnt-orange suits to the rehearsal dinner. In truth, we have every expectation that a gathering of the cream of Greater Metropolitan Roopville society will set an example that a royal wedding would do well to emulate. Congratulations and felicitations to the happy couple.

    They will no doubt honeymoon in Roopville’s northern suburbs?

  172. Scott Bot
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#148): If Mark suffered brain damage, how could you tell?

  173. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @Esther Blodgett (#155): the QG and give you a dual “d’aaawwww” for that story.

  174. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

  175. yaoi huntress earth
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: Given that I can see Rose demanding a lot of money from this suit, I wonder how she’ll like it when she bleeds her son dry to the point that he can no longer afford to take care of her.

  176. Chip Whittle
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#134):

    Who could ask for anything more?

    Congratulations. Here’s hoping all goes well.

    The Big Picture: While Dagwood is busy confounding the barber and audience, what is Blondie up to? Now you know.

    Broom Hilda: There are many words I don’t want Broom Hilda to say. “Spandex” is among them. You don’t want the whole list. There’s a lot of polymers on it.

    Momma: Hey, yeah, I guess when the strip started it would’ve been hard for Thomas not to have served his couple years of the draft. You forget these bits of backstory, like how he and Tina had a child too.

    Pluggers only invest in their massive network of prescription and nonprescription drugs, eh? Are you sure some of them aren’t taking in the Shoe sales? MMMM?

    Toby, Robot Satan: “I am late for many malevolent appointments!” is going in my roster of things to say when I want to stop talking to whoever I’m talking to.

  177. bats :[
    March 3rd, 2011 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#134): oh my gosh! Was this a well-kept secret, or am I oblivious as usual (hey! No bets on a sure thing!). Best wishes to Kitten and the whole Fable Clan. WOW! This is news! And Good Stuff, too!

  178. Dood
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    By her look, June seems to be suggesting that Amayto, Amahto, oh, let’s call the whole thing off.

  179. Dood
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Mark Trail makes me think, “Curse you, Jack Elrod ball and your censorship!” Or maybe we should be thanking it for bounding into panel two just in time.

  180. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @Scott Bot (#172): If he suffered brain damage, he might start punching non-facial-haired people by accident.

  181. Paul K
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    Looking at Constance I am reminded of one Kitty Sanchez from Arrested Development. “Take a good look, ‘cuz it’s the last time you’re gonna see these”

  182. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#134): Congratulations on the happy news! May the happy couple have all the long-lasting, middle-school-play-necking passion of Sally and Ted, with just enough of Sally and Ted’s weirdness to keep things interesting!

    @Charterstoned (#140): Bravo!

  183. Ethan Shuster
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    I believe I can predict, with 95% certainty, that Mark Trail now has amnesia. I mean, there’s no way that’s not coming, right? The remaining percent leaves open the possibility that this woman will be a fan of Mark’s writing and will soon be treating him like Kathy Bates in “Misery”, but even sexier. If that’s possible.

  184. SF_Reader
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    A3G – “…but no, he really is quite stupid…but yet his schwanzstuker is bigger than Margo’s.”

  185. Scott Bot
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    @Ethan Shuster (#183): Which do you doubt is possible? That someone is sexier than Kathy Bates, or that someone would be a fan of Mark Trail?

  186. littlestevie
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Can’t even comment except to say that I am still looking forward to Dex being beaten into a senseless pulp, not that he had any sense before .

    MT: I was thinking that Mark landed on Cuba, but today when Sexy Mommy said she was on a small island, I have had to rethink the possibilities. The Bahamas – no, because why would she hid the boat? The U.S. isn’t at war with Bahama. Some coastal island off the Georgia/Carolina coast – nah, because why hide the boat, and couldn’t she just call the police, and they would get Mark back to Cherry. So my final choice is that Mark landed on the Island of Dr. Moreau (1970′s movie version please). This could lead to lots of story lines. Sexy Mommy could play the Barbara Carrera role, The Dr. could do experiments on Mark and Mark would finally find out how Rusty was created.

  187. Bitter Scribe
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    @Ethan Shuster (#183): Kathy Bates is a wonderful actress and no doubt a fine human being, but after her nude scene in “About Schmidt,” sexy is not the first word to come to mind about her.

    (Although it was the only remotely interesting thing in that movie.)

  188. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    @littlestevie (#186): There are a lot of “unihabited” islands in the Bahama chain. She and her daughter could be the “unihabitants” on one of those islands. She wanted to hide the boat so no one offshore would see it and come ashore. She found herself a man and she’s gonna keep him to herself.

  189. AhClem
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#151): @Effluvius Erratus (#165): In mid-1960s Detroit, those were known as “fruit loops.”

  190. True Fable
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#171): They may travel on their honeymoon as far as Clem, the Pearl of the Tri-Pasture Area!

  191. ElkMeadow
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    You said something about Sarah’s college fund a few months ago, June….

  192. ElkMeadow
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    @Ethan Shuster (#183):

    What you said.

  193. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#190): Did you get Jill to plan the wedding?

  194. ElkMeadow
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#134):

    Congratulations and best wishes to Princess Fable and her good prince!
    Cheers, Country Boy!

  195. Vince M
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @littlestevie (#186): MT: I’m going with Crab Key. Mommy is as close to Ursula Andress as anyone in the Trailverse can be.

  196. Dood
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    @Vince M (#195): Who is Mark’s Quarrel?

    For that matter, what if “Mommy” is associated with shark-shooting, diamond smuggler Ben Smith?

    Mark Trail (buh-wah-wah)
    He’s a man, a man whose name is Mark.
    His hair is so dark …

  197. henebry
    March 3rd, 2011 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    In the third panel of Judge Parker, the part in the murdress’s lovely chestnut hair has migrated down her head. Perhaps she is medusa? Or does her hair strangle any man so foolish as to lie down in her bed of sin?

  198. Stroker Ace
    March 3rd, 2011 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    Apt. 3 -G ~ Coupla likely lads discussing ‘life and stuff’ near a vacant house. In a perfect world David Sedaris would write A3G from this moment.

  199. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

  200. Violet
    March 3rd, 2011 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

    Talking of thankless jobs, how about being known as Dagwood Bumstead’s barber? Our wily coiffeur clearly busts out this deceptive nameplate for such visits, so that horrified inquiries as to who is responsible for Dagwood’s hair looking like that will be answered with misleading information. Cleverly played, “M. Morelli.” I can only assume Blondie’s hairdresser employs a similar ruse. Well, that’s enough sleuthing for me today. I leave it to someone else to interpret what this inscrutable collection of words and images is intended to signify.

  201. Shrug
    March 3rd, 2011 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    @Nosyt (#109): @Nosyt (#109):

    “(next mystery: can anyone tell me what Ward Cleaver’s job was besides a daily escape from the whiny Theodore?)”

    No, but I thought the standard old “what DOES he do to earn a living anyway?” popular culture question involved Ozzie Nelson (of “and Harriet” fame). And as I recall, the answer was that Ozzie on the show (just as in real life) was a band leader by profession, which (since he only worked nights) explained why he could hang around the house all day. (But did not explain why he apparently never had to rehearse.)

    Nowadays, of course, we’d just assume that he was a highly successful pimp or drug dealer, who had underlings doing the actual crimes for him while he collected the rakeoff, but those were more innocent times.

  202. JupiterPluvius
    March 3rd, 2011 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    When did Gene Simmons become a guest star in “Judge Parker”? Stupid Boston Globe, not having “Judge Parker”!

  203. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    March 3rd, 2011 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#201): I personally always thought that Ricky Ricardo’s “Cabana Club” was a CIA front for the Bay of Pigs invasion.

    And Lucy, with all that “red” hair, probably worked for Castro.

  204. Fashion Police
    March 3rd, 2011 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#190):
    We wish them bon voyage and envy them their spirit of adventure!

    How are you handling the part where one of the wedding party flies into a drunken rage at the rehearsal dinner, followed by abject contrition and failure to show their face at the nuptials? It’s all the rage at the better weddings these days. If one of the bridesmaids turns up in a lavender dress and matching boots watch her very, very carefully.

  205. SF_Reader
    March 3rd, 2011 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    @Nosyt (#109): Ward Cleaver was an insurance man along with Clarence’s father. Clarence was a friend of Wally and his father was played by Mel Cooley from the Dick Van Dyke show. TV was really cool in those days. From “Ward, you were awfully hard on the Beaver last night.” to an actor named Dick Van Dyke. Awesome!

  206. Shermy Glamrocker
    March 3rd, 2011 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    I wonder if the mystery woman in MT goes by the name of “Danielle Rousseau.”

  207. Marthas Rolling Pin
    March 3rd, 2011 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    @Braniff (#77): My thought exactly when I saw it!

  208. Effluvius Erratus
    March 3rd, 2011 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    MT: I can’t wait for when this woman asks Mark for his seed, so he can reply, “Gymnosperm or angiosperm?” Then she’ll say suggestively, “Sperm-sperm,” and he’ll poop his pants.

  209. bats :[
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    I think things are going to get worse for Mark (“The name’s Trail. Mark Trail. WHERE am I?”) before they get better…

  210. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    @Effluvius Erratus (#208): HOLY CRAPPING PANCAKES!

  211. Pamster
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    Ward Cleaver was an engineer, who served with the Seabees in WWII. There was an episode where Beaver found Ward’s Seabee trunk and went around telling his friends that his dad was a war hero, only to be disappointed that he’d been an engineer. Ward patiently explained what the Seabees did to help get the fighting units from point A to point B.

  212. Charterstoned
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#193): Good one.

  213. SF_Reader
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    @Pamster (#211): From Wikipedia: It was revealed in Season 3, Episode 19 that Ward works for a trust company under Mr. Anderson. He wears a business suit, works in an office with a view of a metropolitan area, has a secretary named Grace, leaves home early in the morning and returns in the early evening. He works for a “big company” with main offices in New York City. He drives to work in his Plymouth unless June needs the car during the day for a specific errand. He is home on weekends for golfing at a local country club. Occasionally, Ward is required to do some office work at home. In one early episode, for example, he works at home on a women’s marketing survey. His co-worker is Fred Rutherford, a smug, pompous man who refers to the workplace as “the salt mine.”

  214. Charterstoned
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    Get out! My dad was a Seabee in WWII–but gee, whiz! He was never anything like Ward Cleaver (thank God!).

  215. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    @SF_Reader (#205):

    My generational compass is different from yours… I remember RICHARD DEACON (that’s the actor’s name) as “Uncle Archie” from the Disney TV show starring the incomparable ANNETTE FUNICELLO!

  216. Cheeky Wee Monkeys
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    I hope nobody shows Mark Trail a mirror, or he’ll punch it the way territorial birds sometimes attack their own reflections.

  217. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    MT: I’m waiting for the sponge bath.

  218. SF_Reader
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#215): Mel Cooley and Disney! The 50s and 60s just keep getting cooler!

  219. Katy
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    Senora MomJeans put a Fingertip Band-Aid (TM) on Mark’s wound *and* Mark’s hairline. Taking the Band-Aid off is going to hurt worse than the bullet did.

  220. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    Does this mean anything?

  221. Katy
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    Also, “Your boat drifted onto our little island … you are in my home” delivers a very, very low ratio of information to word count. It’s a friggin’ lousy answer to “Where am I?”

  222. Dood
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    @SF_Reader (#218): I’ll take Rose Marie for the block.

  223. Effluvius Erratus
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    You know, white people live on islands too, so Mark could be on the Isle of, uh, White, for insance, or a number of other English islands. Maybe Mommy Momjeans is hiding Mark from Gene Hunt.

  224. commodorejohn
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#217): I’m waiting for Mark’s excited lecture about sponges, while Señora Momjeans and Ava slowly back away and consider calling the police.

  225. G-Man
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

    “I keep my head down and try not to make waves”? Is that some kind of attempt at barber humor?

  226. Swordsmith
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#220): Wilde = Wild and thus person who might have vines growing on him. Wilder = more wild, and thus a person who might have more vines. That, as far as I can see, is the sum total of humor in this joke. I guess they can’t all be winners.

  227. Dr. Weird
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    @dakrat (#54):

    June Morgan possesses enough raw sensuality to land Rex as a husband, a man so aggressively asexual he makes Ichigo Kurosaki from Bleach look like Hugh Hefner.

    As a person who actually desires other people sexually, you don’t have a chance of resisting her charms.

  228. bats :[
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    Huh. I just got a Groupon offer for a discount at a place called “Rusty’s Family Restaurant.” I swear, I haven’t been so uneasy since I discovered a “Patterson Dental Supply” just down the street from us…

  229. Alfred E. Neuman
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    Blondie— “Mostly I keep my head down and try not to make waves.”
    This from a guy who gets kicked around by Mr. Dithers as often as Beatle gets beaten up by Sarge? It’s sad to see Dagwood become so delusional that he has lost contact with reality. What’s next, Dagwood lamenting that he never had a hot wife, or children, or a dog? We’ll know that he has lost it completely if he ever starts to wonder if Herb Woodley and Mr. Beasley are the same person.

  230. Jamus The Bartender
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: I would hit any club with June as a featured stripper….but I suppose that goes without saying..

    Curtis: Okay. Diane lifted up the car. You know what’s going to happen next, right? Stan Lee will stop by with a contract so Diane can replace Spider Man in his own strip, and Peter Parker will become Curtis’ new in house nanny.

  231. gnome de blog
    March 3rd, 2011 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    Fast laners that they are, Judge Parker (and his henchman) ought to be reading something into the fact that the Cheatham House representatives at their high-level meeting are an intern with delusions of grandeur and the chauffeur.

    Wouldn’t it be cool if the whole publishment of the the Judge’s book is a smokescreen and Constance plans to abduct them for ransom, with Angel supplying the muscle? The $100,000 Cheatham has already invested makes mighty tempting bait. Jackie wasn’t killed – she never existed.

  232. Écureuil Écumant
    March 3rd, 2011 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    Mutts: That Earl is one smart pup. After all, not many dogs can read. But I’d probably steer him away from Mary Worth for the short term.

  233. Écureuil Écumant
    March 3rd, 2011 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#232): Angel’s taken on a considerably more goombah mien in the course of the last week. Combine that with the overall lack of believability surrounding the whole episode, and your suggested outcome seems likely indeed.

  234. Effluvius Erratus
    March 3rd, 2011 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#229): Frequent, repeated, untreated concussions can do that to a person.

  235. Jessy
    March 3rd, 2011 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#74): Hahaha! That’s the June Morgan we all know and love!

  236. Effluvius Erratus
    March 3rd, 2011 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#233): “goombah mien”? What is that, some sort of Chinese-Italian fusion dish?

  237. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    @Swordsmith (#226): Oookay. That make sense, I guess.

    But he left out The Wildest!

  238. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#228): Well, you’re a prime candidate to try this place.

  239. Jamus The Bartender
    March 3rd, 2011 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#134): Oh, congratulations, True Fable. And may your first grandchild be a masculine child :)

  240. bats :[
    March 3rd, 2011 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#238): “Join us for Happy Hour…OR ELSE!”

  241. Effluvius Erratus
    March 3rd, 2011 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#238): I bet she grills real Mexicans too.

  242. Swordsmith
    March 3rd, 2011 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#237): Louis Prima would indeed have taken that joke to a whole new level, and with the internet the fact that hardly anyone (myself included if I’m honest) would have gotten the joke would just be funnier once they’d looked it up.

  243. Joe Blevins
    March 3rd, 2011 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

  244. Black Drazon
    March 3rd, 2011 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

    By the way, am I allowed to make nerdy internet jokes about this Rex Morgan? “My hair is inviting you to the world of exotic dancing!” Okay, yeah, I’m done. I think I’m allowed one of these a year.

  245. littlestevie
    March 3rd, 2011 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#231): My only problem with that theory is that in JP it seems that the level of woman’s evilness is directly proportional to their bust size. Given Constance’s chest (in JP terms), she may be amoral but I don’t think she bad.

  246. UncleJeff
    March 3rd, 2011 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#230): “RMMD: I would hit any club with June as a featured stripper….but I suppose that goes without saying..”
    Hmmmm….sounds to me like it might be time for another “Tale”…from Jamus.

  247. Mikey
    March 3rd, 2011 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    Look Paul, just because a man won’t be caught dead without a jauntily tied scarf, enjoys making over tired spaces into something fresh and fabulous, and “dates” a woman who’s half tart-tongued viper and half emotional doormat doesn’t necessary mean that man is gay. It just means he appreciates stereotypes. Now kiss me, you dumb blond hunk.

  248. I. M. A. Weisenheimer
    March 3rd, 2011 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    @Sparkle Plenty (#28): Not only is it her private little island, it’s her private little island WITH AUTHORITIES to hide from. It reads like Mark drifted off into a galactic wormhole that leads straight to Wonderland. (Alice’s, not Michael Jackson’s.)

  249. Écureuil Écumant
    March 3rd, 2011 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    @Effluvius Erratus (#236): Exactly. It tastes kinda like spaghetti.

  250. A New Day
    March 3rd, 2011 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    MT: I haven’t been following this strip lately, so can someone tell me who the man in the first panel is? My best guess would be Mark’s father, but we all know that he was the first success story in the military’s experiments with asexual reproduction, circa 1950. Successive copies, a.k.a. Rusty, have been predictably weaker and more terrifying.

  251. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    @A New Day (#250): I think it’s TV’s Craig Ferguson playing a bit part.

  252. anonymous
    March 3rd, 2011 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    Dagwood has been trying to keep his head down and not make waves since the 1930′s. That silent middle panel was his existential horror at the realization of just how long he’s been slaving away under Dithers’ thumb. And remembering the day he had to give up his rich man’s lifestyle after marrying, being cast out by his family, and go out and get a “real” job….

  253. Swordsmith
    March 3rd, 2011 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    What would make MW much cooler would be if in the print version, Dawn was staring at her Mac, while only in the online versions she looks with despair directly into the camera. Local paper doesn’t carry MW though, so I just have to hope it’s true.

  254. teddytoad
    March 3rd, 2011 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    Fish lips? Oh, those are lips? I thought Trey’s mouth had gone very small and his moustache very thin and long quite suddenly, which would explain his “Zoinks! I just turned French!” expression.

    As for Mark Trail, I am so looking forward to this Angelus storyline. What will evil Mark Trail do? Shoot a deer! Trash his NOAA radio! Have sex with Cherry! Man, I love sweeps week.

  255. gnome de blog
    March 3rd, 2011 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    @littlestevie (#245):
    Maybe she’s wearing that scarf and ugly sweater to throw Sam ‘n the Judge off the track. They’re pretty sharp cookies for a couple of out-of-town rubes.

  256. Peanut Gallery
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#229):

    We’ll know that he has lost it completely if he ever starts to wonder if Herb Woodley and Mr. Beasley are the same person.

    You… you mean they’re not?

    Minutes later, a quick search revealed to me that Josh has already addressed this question.

  257. Hoover Eused
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    Out of Town Rubes might be a good name for a band?

  258. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    needs a moon to be a meme. (squee)

  259. Charles
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    MT: I love how the bandage on Mark’s head is taped right onto his lacquered hair. It’s so rigid, so uncompromising, so All-American that it can’t be mussed. It’s Mark Trail’s hair, all right.

  260. gnome de blog
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    @Hoover Eused (#257):
    Didn’t Sam want to be a trumpet player? I’ll bet he was a hep cat in his day.

  261. Sequitur
    March 3rd, 2011 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#260): Yeah. I bet he could really blow.

  262. Dagger
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:12 pm [Reply]

    “I need an objective opinion about this house.”
    “Well, it’s sagging in and about eight months from total collapse, and the interior is completely coated in guano.”
    “I know, it’s rustic and charming, right? Thanks bud, I’ll sign the papers right away and stuff!”

  263. mdblanche
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

    comics curmudgeon 3.3.11 reporting jf dayorder doubleplusungood
    refs unperson “Dagwood” rewrite fullwise upsub antefiling.

  264. Nemo
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: You know, as I read it over and over again, she really didn’t say no.

  265. Chip
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley missed the boat with its word-play on the sign at the blacksmith’s. It SHOULD have read: “Free saddle and bridle inspections. No rein checks!”

  266. Pseudo3D
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Mark Trail is in a time loop. Brain-damaged, Mark names himself “Mark Trail”, and begins his long conquest of punching bearded people, spending time with his deformed “son”, and observing woodland critters with speech balloons.

  267. Austria
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    I’m stealing the phrase…standard oversnarpologies.


    Arch: Dude, just use the bike that was under the hood yesterday. You can still get around and you don’t have to pay for gas. Two birds with one stone.

    GF: Okay, now I’m curious.


    MG&G: I laughed.

    Jeremy’s Parents: “It’s complicated. On one hand, you won’t be around for me to nag anymore, but on the other hand, you won’t be around for me to nag anymore. And then I won’t have a strip! …Did I say ‘I?’ I meant ‘you.’”

  268. Pseudo3D
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:40 pm [Reply]


  269. hcv
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    This late in the day, this will probably die unnoticed, but the latest abomination from the AJGLU-3000, even though not from the daily strip, cannot go completely without mention:

  270. Vince M
    March 3rd, 2011 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#2): I’d go with something built around Duran Duran’s “Rio”.

  271. Orange Cactus
    March 4th, 2011 at 12:09 am [Reply]

    MT: Razor? Mark Trail punches off his beard daily.

  272. AndyL
    March 4th, 2011 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    That spiffy vertical, inter-panel “MEANWHILE” narrator box is probably the most innovative thing Mark Trail will do this year.

  273. cthulhusgirl
    March 4th, 2011 at 12:18 am [Reply]

    MT: I hope if I ever get a head injury that whatever mysterious island stranger that’s taking care of me remembers to at least move my hair BEFORE bandaging my wound.

  274. Chip Whittle
    March 4th, 2011 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    @Effluvius Erratus (#236):

    “goombah mien”? What is that, some sort of Chinese-Italian fusion dish?

    I don’t know, but one of the kids in Wee Pals is selling it from his or her lemonade stand.

  275. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 4th, 2011 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    @mdblanche (#263):

    “comics curmudgeon 3.3.11 reporting jf dayorder doubleplusungood
    refs unperson ‘Dagwood’ rewrite fullwise upsub antefiling.”

    AJGLU-3000, is that you?

  276. Vince M
    March 4th, 2011 at 12:40 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#275): Whatever’s going on, it doesn’t sound good for Dagwood…

  277. Just some guy
    March 4th, 2011 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    If that happens, and he gains a completely different personality, this will be the BEST MARK TRAIL EVER

  278. mdblanche
    March 4th, 2011 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#275): Nah, I was trying to go for a 1984 reference but it was too obscure. Dagwood has been sent to Dithers’ prison camp though.

    @hcv (#269): As for the real AJGLU-3000, yikes. Is the last page of that Archie, Obama, and Palin singing “A Bicycle Built for Two” at an ever slower tempo?

  279. Buchholz Surfer
    March 4th, 2011 at 1:14 am [Reply]

    Random Line From Today’s Funnies:

    Mom’s suing us for not having the driveway salted. How long will her anger last? Seems like a lost cause. It’s complicated. Things used to be less complicated. It makes me think about life and stuff. Mostly I keep my head down and try not to make waves. You are in my home! How are you doing with crowds? Because I have a BIG problem with that. That mysterious green-shirted rooting section has grown to more than 100 kids. Get up, stupid! Kill ‘em! I don’t have enough bullets for this horde! I thought you were going to help us.

  280. commodorejohn
    March 4th, 2011 at 1:21 am [Reply]

    @mdblanche (#278): I got it…

  281. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 4th, 2011 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    RMMD — I predict Pornstache Bluejacket, Tony Amato’s partner/friend/employee/whatever, will try to become the next MISTER Berna Holt!

  282. cheech wizard
    March 4th, 2011 at 1:26 am [Reply]

    DT – Ever a soapbox for right-wing politics, this week’s strip argues the case for large-capacity magazines.

    MT – The halter top and blue jeans are a dead giveaway – Mark has washed up on some island off South Carolina, where hillbilly woman has hidden him away in a desperate and instinctive hope of mating with someone outside of her immediate family. Her motivation in first making sure he’s an American is obvious.

    RMMD – “I’ve got plenty of money. What I don’t get much of is a man who wants to see me naked. When can I start?”

    FC – Billy’s extended illness is a prelude to Jef Keene’s decision to chuck it all and turn the strip over to Jack Chick. The next week is going to get pretty distrubing, and fast.

    A3G – Yeah, you guys didn’t go up there to fish…

  283. Poteet
    March 4th, 2011 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    DT — Judging from Mordred’s cries of panic, it would seem that the rats are only interested in him. Perhaps Dick has nothing to worry about, unless the granary is invaded by woodpeckers.

  284. Poteet
    March 4th, 2011 at 1:29 am [Reply]

    @Buchholz Surfer (#279): Marvelous, as in I marvel at it.

  285. Poteet
    March 4th, 2011 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    MT — “Yep, you’re in my home. And the best news is that I’m batshit crazy!”

  286. Sgt. Stoned
    March 4th, 2011 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    As Jack Elrod continues his version of “Ulysses”, Beetle Bailey recaps the move “Medium Cool” in two panels.

  287. KarMann
    March 4th, 2011 at 1:34 am [Reply]

  288. Poteet
    March 4th, 2011 at 1:35 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#128): Yes, a flood of apparently Biblical proportions that has very suddenly and mysteriously subsided. Perhaps a plague of frogs will come next.

  289. KarMann
    March 4th, 2011 at 1:36 am [Reply]

    3/4 S-M: Yep, that’s our Spidey, all right! Time to get some shut-eye.

  290. bbofun
    March 4th, 2011 at 1:36 am [Reply]

    “Just remember, Paul, even if it’s good condition, it’s still very old”

    “Hey, don’t talk about LuAnn like that!”

    But, seriously, folks, as awesome it would be for Margo and LuAnn’s boyfriends to run off and get gay-married, it ain’t gonna happen. So, what could be the big plot twist? (Realizing this is APT 3G, so, pretty much any plot would be a twist.)

    I’m thinking Trey is going, with his big-city smarts, convince Paul that the house is unsafe, buy it from him then remodel and sell it for a handsome profit, This will lead to squabbling between LuAnn (“He’s a crook!”) and Margo (“He’s just a good bussinessman”), while Tommie wonders what it would be like to have a boyfriend. Or a plotline.

    Oh, and is Aunt Iris still asleep in the back seat?

  291. commodorejohn
    March 4th, 2011 at 1:43 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#290): I’m kind of hoping my jest about Paullinski being high turns out to be right. Maybe he’s hoping to turn the house into an opium den. The last Apartment 3-G drug storyline was so great, I’d love to see another.

  292. KarMann
    March 4th, 2011 at 1:48 am [Reply]

    3/4 RMMD: Could this be the infamous Holland Dikes? And could an encounter with Mark Trail be far behind?

  293. commodorejohn
    March 4th, 2011 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    @bbofun (#290): Or maybe Trey and Paul can find out that the house is actually quite valuable, and Apartment 3-G can briefly turn into Mouse Hunt.

  294. bats :[
    March 4th, 2011 at 2:04 am [Reply]

    3/4 MW: okay, now I’m really confused. Why, if Dawn is looking in a mirror, a completely different Dawn is seen in the reflection? Is this comic strip “screw with mirrors” week or something?
    Oh, heck, just as I figured out that mysterious green stuff in Wilbur’s burger from a couple of lunches ago…

  295. TooMuchFreeTime
    March 4th, 2011 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    DT: Two pathetic clowns sitting idly in a ruined landscape, waiting for a rescue we know will never come. An endless series of digressions that lead nowhere. The clowns try to alleviate the intolerable boredom by fighting and insulting each other. My God, it’s all clear now: Dick Tracy is Waiting for Godot with man-eating rats!

  296. bluepencil
    March 4th, 2011 at 2:09 am [Reply]

    MW 3/4: Dawn … is startled by what she sees in the mirror.

    I’d be “startled” too if my reflection was completely different from what I was actually doing. Neat trick, Dawn!

  297. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 4th, 2011 at 2:10 am [Reply]

    Mother Goose & Grimm — With Congress threatening to slash NPR funding, he’s actually a “dao” (?) late and a dollar short!

    Beetle Bailey — The chaplain shows more impatience than usual… does he have an early tee-off time with a priest and a rabbi?

  298. The Library Shoggoth
    March 4th, 2011 at 2:12 am [Reply]

    Sorry, I won’t believe Constance is a villainess until she is dressed like a skank and packing heat. 38Ds and a .38 Special. That’s how you seperate the good girls from the bad in Judge Parker.

  299. KarMann
    March 4th, 2011 at 2:13 am [Reply]

    @littlestevie (#186) on MT: I’ve been thinking Dr. Moreau for a while now, but sadly, I don’t really know enough about it to do good snark on the subject. It might well explain the giant animals for which Mark Trail is known, though.

  300. CanuckDownSouth
    March 4th, 2011 at 2:23 am [Reply]

    The trouble with regularly having decor-shifting, features-sliding bad art in Mary Worth is that when they finally get around to depicting a hallucination / dream sequence you can’t be sure that’s what’s actually going on. It’s quite irritating not to know whether I should be snarking loopy art or a trite narrative.

  301. Alfred E. Neuman
    March 4th, 2011 at 2:26 am [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#256) Re: Blondie— When I was a kid, I always wondered why no one in the strip ever commented on the look-a-like appearances of Woodley and Beasley. Later, I decided that this was a running in-joke between the Youngs and their regular readers. Just like the strip’s characters, true Blondie fans “know” not to question the Woodley/Beasley situation, because there is no answer, nor will there ever be one. Then we got the subtle clue back in ’07 that Josh picked up on (thanks for finding that — I missed it), which suggests that they really are two different people because Beasley is bald and Woodley is not. However, I don’t believe it. I think Woodley wears a toupee.

  302. Poteet
    March 4th, 2011 at 2:37 am [Reply]

    3/4 MW — Ooooh, it’s a magic mirror! I’ve always wanted one of those, except I hoped it would show me two days in the future holding up a winning lottery ticket with the numbers clearly visible. Apparently Dawn’s magic mirror has decided to show her how she would look if she had starred in REEFER MADNESS.

  303. Dr. Weird
    March 4th, 2011 at 2:41 am [Reply]


    One can only hope that Rose finds herself served with an eviction notice and a restraining order to stay out of the house after this little stunt. Or that the court will find her not capable enough to file such a suit, since she disregarded explicit instructions about the safety of the walk.

  304. Poteet
    March 4th, 2011 at 2:42 am [Reply]


    A3G — Making that neck thing orange instead of yellow has not improved it.

    MT — Yeah, right, Crazy Lady. Are you also going to claim you sewed those MomJeans yourself out of cloth you wove and dyed with blueberries?

  305. Poteet
    March 4th, 2011 at 2:46 am [Reply]


    CRANKSHAFT — Ha ha, this unpleasant family is even more nasty and dysfunctional than I had realized! How very amusing.

    FW — So the dog is just a conduit to enable depressing thoughts. Now it makes sense.

  306. Mibbitmaker
    March 4th, 2011 at 3:54 am [Reply]

    @Pseudo3D (#268): At least it was nice of them to use Rose is Rose babytalk to keep it more on topic (i guess…..)

  307. Mibbitmaker
    March 4th, 2011 at 4:07 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#302): In Moy and Giella’s minds, this storyline IS “Reefer Madness”. More’s the pity, really.

    What would be an alternative title for the “internet addiction” version?

  308. Hobbes Fan
    March 4th, 2011 at 4:27 am [Reply]

    MW – Yes, I suppose most people would be “startled” by looking into a parallel dimension.

  309. Mr. O'Malley
    March 4th, 2011 at 5:38 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#294): @Poteet (#302): @Hobbes Fan (#308): Well, this has been a challenging day for me, so I haven’t been able to read through 300 comments. But I see that a few sharp-eyed people have beat me to the punch on MW.

    This is not the normal non-Euclidean perspective and ever-shifting home furnishings that we enjoy daily in this alternate reality.

    In panel 1, Mirror Dawn has a laptop and Realworld Dawn does not. In panel 2, Mirror Dawn’s upper arms have contracted to a length of 4 inches, while Realworld Dawn is still able to touch her cheek.

    I woke up this morning to the radio playing a bluegrass version of “White Rabbit”. Now I feel as through I’ve come full circle.

    Is this The Laptop of Dorian Gray? Is she going to re-enact Max Linder’s famous mirror routine? (Lupino Lane said that the gag was invented by his great-grandfather in 1862, but it may go back to the 17th century.) Did someone give Moy and Giella a collection of Winsor McCay’s Dreams of the Rarebit Fiend, from which they are seeking inspiration?

    Only time will tell, but generally mind-twisting daily strips like this are followed by weeks of platitudes and beige comestibles, so don’t get your hopes up.

  310. Teresa
    March 4th, 2011 at 6:04 am [Reply]

    Pei pa koa is pretty decent cough medicine (from herbal as I remembered), great non alcoholic medicine, some western cough medicine are more effective, but this is non drowsy.

    You can access info online @

  311. John C Fremont
    March 4th, 2011 at 7:06 am [Reply]

    @Teresa (#310): Is this another 1984 reference?

    GT – Weak left-hand dribble is no laughing matter, my friend. See your doctor.

    DT – “No more buwwets? Hey, laughing boy…”

    (I’m not the first one out there to make the Fudd/Bunny connection. Full disclosure and all that…)

  312. Mordock999
    March 4th, 2011 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    Today’s Luann – 03/04/2011

    Delta – “Okay, we’re ALL in for this Beauty Pageant. SO whats our TALENT going to be?”

    Bernice – “Well Mine’s gonna be Comedy! I do a predictable series of “Charlie Sheen” Jokes!”

    Delta – “And I’ll do a confusing Interpretive Dance dealing with the unrest in Wisconsin! Whats YOURS going to be, Luann?”

    Luann – “Me? I’M gonna SING…,”

    Delta – “Oh, NO! You’re NOT going to SING ‘Hey Boy’ again!”

    Bernice -”YEAH! ‘One of Us is BUSTING free and THAT one is Me’? LOL!!!”

    Luann -”….and I’ll be WEARING a String Bikini!”

    Bernice – “Shit. She gonna WIN!”

    Delta – “Well, I’m OUT! Come on, Bernice. Lets going find some Thankless Community work to do.”

    DEATH to TJ!!!

  313. Ned Ryerson
    March 4th, 2011 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    A3G: I’m convinced that Trey is concealing a massive goiter.

  314. Ned Ryerson
    March 4th, 2011 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    MW: Dawn discovers the Tantalus Field!!

  315. Ned Ryerson
    March 4th, 2011 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    FC: Portrait of Billy: Codeine addict

  316. Écureuil Écumant
    March 4th, 2011 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    @290 bbofun said:

    Oh, and is Aunt Iris still asleep in the back seat?

    Nah, they moved her to the trunk a couple days ago.

  317. Amateur
    March 4th, 2011 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    MW: Yipe, it’s a mirror image come to life! Dawn’s turned into Natalie Portman in Black Swan! If she starts pulling feathers out of her skin, I’m outta here.

  318. Écureuil Écumant
    March 4th, 2011 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    DT: OK, I have to admit the rat in panel 2 poking his snoot into the hot muzzle of Tracy’s ACP is a nice dada touch. We’re being pranked now.

  319. Vince M
    March 4th, 2011 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    310: *coughcoughSPAMcough*

  320. Mibbitmaker
    March 4th, 2011 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    @Vince M (#319): At least the SPAM is beginning to make sense again (ditto Dick Tracy after the changeover).

  321. Rocky Stoneaxe
    March 4th, 2011 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    @Teresa (#310): “Pei pa koa” is also the name of the Buddhist monk in today’s Mother Goose & Grimm!

  322. TheMagicMel
    March 4th, 2011 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Thanks to the canine ministrations of Buddy, Wally Winkerbean is feeling much better. He now has the energy to wallow in regret.

  323. Peanut Gallery
    March 4th, 2011 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#301): I agree. Herb is so dedicated to his role as “the annoying neighbor” that he took the Postal Service job just so he can read Dagwood’s mail. He thinks he’s a master of disguise in his mail carrier uniform, and the Bumsteads are too nice to let on that they recognize him.

  324. commodorejohn
    March 4th, 2011 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    A3G – “Dude, is my face melting for you too?”

    BS – Their hospitality may soon be tested when their stock is ravaged by a wandering Helen Clark.

    DT – Jesus.

    FW – Yep, even a (pretty miraculous) recovery is only an opportunity to think about everything you never had! That’s our Funkiverse!

    Jumble – IN TRIG PALIN?

    Mandrake – Next on Mandrake: the adventures of Johnny Denial, Oblivious Hoodlum!

    MT – Oh, now I’ve got it! Señora Momjeans wasn’t trying to hide Mark from soldiers or secret police when she pulled him off the shore, she was trying to hide him from rescuers! With nobody to save him and no way to call his wife, Mark will be forced to stay with her until he punches the ocean out of the way.

    MW – Oh. My. GOD. Yes. I never thought I’d live to see the day when Mary Worth turned into the computer equivalent of a ’50s anti-drug propaganda film.

    NAOQV – Amen. Never forget!

    Pluggers – Pluggers think they’re fucking entitled to everything.


    SF – This could get pretty hilarious if she keeps not thinking to leave the room.

    SM – Yep.

    Edison Lee – Fuck this little bastard. Just fuck him.

  325. boojum
    March 4th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#323): Nice? Dagwood’s response is to mow him down and plant him on his ass five days a week! With friends like this…..

    @TooMuchFreeTime (#295): I have always felt, instinctively, that Waiting for Godot would be vastly improved by man-eating rats. Big ones.

    @Buchholz Surfer (#279): Best. Collection. Ever. I bow, sir or madam.

  326. Illustrator Steve
    March 4th, 2011 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#148):
    That answer is easy, due to JackElrod’s limited drawing ability, MARK HAS NO BRAIN!
    Hey! If they ever do a remake of the Wizard of Oz Mark could get the part of the scarecrow, if he could sing and dance that is.
    To bad Mark, no matter WHAT island you wash ashore onto you’ll always be a loser without any brains.

  327. Illustrator Steve
    March 4th, 2011 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Thanks, your comment about Cherry doing a phone beg-a-thon for Mark’s search and rescue gave me a GREAT idea! If Cherry’s phony tears are so convincing that people would actually donate to an onscreen phone number for Mark’s search and rescue I would like to hire Cherry to do a similar cause for me that I feel is just as worthy, or MORE worthy….
    (HERE it is): A tear-eyed Cherry announces to the “Trailhead” readers how desperatly I need help in searching for and rescuing a vintage 1967 Camaro RS/SS convertible in need of restoration to replace the one I had that got stolen from me many years ago. (To bad Mark wasn’t there at the time to punch the bad car thief in his face!).
    (Back to Cherry): “DON’T WAIT! Call the toll free number on your screen to donate to this worthy cause! Call in the next ten minutes and receive an autentic original plagiarized photo-copy of a 1956 Mark Trail parody featured in MAD Magazine! Our Lost Forest operators are standing by waiting for your calls”.

  328. a
    March 4th, 2011 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    This “Blondie” is the sort of joke that my father would find very, very funny. I’d ask him to explain his perspective on it; however, as his perspective on things is generally from the bottom of a whiskey bottle that is itself located somewhere in the depths of a bottomless pit of despair, I’ll take a crack at it myself. See, in the first panel, Dagwood’s response implies that he is in some measure invested in his job. The barber’s reaction in panel two reflects our shared understanding that, as employment, and life in general, is universally a humiliating, soul-crushing antechamber to hell, this cannot be the case. In panel three, Dagwood humbly admits his prevarication.

    My father also believes “The Lockhorns” to be an insightful commentary on our modern times.

  329. Concerned comics reader
    March 4th, 2011 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    MK – Thank GOODNESS the JackElrod signature ball is positioned over her hot-looking mom’s left hand while little Ava is standing there looking at her mom kneeling beside Mark’s limp body. The halter-topped mom’s hand appears to have slid under the covers right about where Mark’s tackle box is tucked away. Maybe hot Mamma is looking for some jewels. If Mark makes a fuss over this she can always send little Ava to fetch the sledge hammer. Better yet, all she has to do is hold a mirror in front of Mark’s bearded face and he will start swinging the sledge hammer at himself!
    And, (the horrors!), if it happens to be Sunday on that island, Mark will put on his red flannel shirt and begin reciting a ten minute lecture about why men grow beards in the tropics during rainy season followed by a demonstration on how to use their battery operated NOAA emergency radio set when he notices giant fidder crabs seeking higher ground as hurricane storm clouds approch the little island from the southeast.

  330. ksilver
    March 4th, 2011 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    Okay…the fact that Mr. Amato looks a lot like the guy who adopted my cat, and that Mark Trail with a beard suddenly looks a lot like my boyfriend, is kinda scaring me.

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