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Menacing hyphen

Dennis the Menace, 2/17/07

OK, it’s official: somebody over at Dennis the Menace central thinks that spelling “vegetables” as “veg-tables” is automatically hilarious. And it’s not, OK? It’s just … not. Stop it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/17/07

“And by ‘we,’ I obviously mean ‘our dog.’ That’s why we had a V-chip installed in her brain!”

Judge Parker, 2/17/07

Wow, yesterday I thought Neddy’s weird nauseated face was supposed to represent shock and surprise; today we learn that in fact, she really is massively hung over and on the verge of hurling all over everyone waiting in line to register for classes. This will surely earn her the permanent nickname of la Barfeuse among her classmates.

Also, if her right hand gesture is any indication, she seems to have joined a gang at some point over the course of the previous night’s activities.

They’ll Do It Every Time, 2/17/07

This tale is perhaps understood a little better if we reverse the sequence. “Howzat again? Buttbrain loathes his wife with every fiber of his being, but then … when he goes to work … heh, heh … there’s no end to the inappropriate sexual advances! OH YEAH!”

255 responses to “Menacing hyphen”

  1. Sergeant in the Free Time Army
    February 17th, 2007 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    The Dennis the Menace cartoonist is so busy cracking up over their misspelling humor, they neglected to give Dennis any fingers. This may be why his menacing has been at sub par levels recently.

  2. Uncle Lumpy
    February 17th, 2007 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    So, Neddy – which gang – les estrops? les sangs? Anything but les canadiennes! It would break our hearts.

  3. llogg
    February 17th, 2007 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    Jesus hates zombies. I knew it. He just had to.

  4. fizzy logic
    February 17th, 2007 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    Oh, nice try, Abby the Wonderdog. Acting all protective after the fact. Where were you when Sarah was watching the program, hmm? Having a little kibble? You’re supposed to bite the remote out of Niki’s hands and change the channel. Have they taught you nothing at obedience school?

  5. Team MP
    February 17th, 2007 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    Humm, that’s odd. I thought blondes had more fun, but it would appear that Helgar is the exception to that rule. I guess if you married and birthed children for a man named Buttbrain, it’s kind of your own fault.

  6. jvwalt
    February 17th, 2007 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    Oh, the Dennis The Menace creative team has no interest in funny. It’s not about the funny, not at all. It’s all about punching the clock, cashing the checks, and getting to the golf course before dark.

    You can, of course, say the same thing about most of the strips that infest our comics pages.

  7. bunny
    February 17th, 2007 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    Buttbrain has more problems than that. He clearly has a child with rapid aging disease, and sexual harassment is his escape. Have you no heart?

  8. fizzy logic
    February 17th, 2007 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    Abby, if you’re ever in a situation like that again, just think: “What would Andy do?”

    Go for the throat, probably. You can’t go wrong there.

  9. Sheilagh
    February 17th, 2007 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    The stupid thing is, that’s how “vegetables” is normally pronounced! It’s a three-syllable word — NOBODY pronounces the medial “e”. So why bother drawing our attention to Dennis’ perfectly normal pronunciation?

  10. Grant Gould
    February 17th, 2007 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    Perhaps his religion worships veg-tables, and objects to spelling out the name of their g-d as blasphemy.

  11. jules
    February 17th, 2007 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    #8 – but bear in mind that Andy is on the verge of accepting a tasty tranquilizer-laden treat from Old Friend Dan! No Andy! Don’t eat the tasty treat!!

  12. stinky pete
    February 17th, 2007 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    Neddy is either making the international signal for “call me” or thinks she is holding a mug of coffee, but is trying to pour it in her ear for some reason.

  13. whoamItoday?
    February 17th, 2007 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    about 4 days ago, KATE said: ‘I’m in Irvine, California, which appears to have been laminated. I keep looking around for the Charterstone complex.’

    and this left me flabbergasted, as I too, am in Irvine, CA. Which is indeed the epitome of Southern California suburban subdivision living and how did I ever end up here? (I lived previously in NC, and FL, y’all)
    I beleive the Charterstone complex is on Harvard Dr. near the university, next to the Mason Regional Park.

  14. MrP
    February 17th, 2007 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    “Buttbrain is the office loveable glad, but like, we mean GLAD tider.”

    I can’t see how this could have been written by someone who actually speaks English. My guess is that some Korean kid in a sweatshop got a hold of an outdated English slang dictionary.

  15. yellojkt
    February 17th, 2007 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    Neddy’s nausea isn’t jetlag, it’s morning sickness. It seems Raju managed to wrestle some boats after all.

  16. Randy S
    February 17th, 2007 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    The captions for TDIET are the funniest, but like I mean the funniest, part of the strip.

  17. Liz
    February 17th, 2007 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    I happened to like the look of distain from the woman on Abbey’s right. Methinks that Neddy made the fatal mistake of not brushing your teeth after an all night bender, which is clearly indicated by the puffs of stink coming from her mouth in the third panel.

  18. Mogalike
    February 17th, 2007 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    Buttbrain? Did Garth Ennis start writing for TDIET?

    …wait, that wouldn’t be so bad…

  19. Kevin Church
    February 17th, 2007 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    Helgar. The man’s wife is named Helgar.

    Every night must be grudge-f*ck night at their place.

  20. Allie Cat
    February 17th, 2007 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    Poor Neddy – hasn’t she ever heard?

    Butler before champagne, can’t complain.

    Champagne before butler, hangover’s subtler.

    Or something like that.

  21. Poteet
    February 17th, 2007 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    I cannot resist pointing out that if you translate Neddy’s comment in panel one to Russian and back again, she says “Ogorchenno, 4 it must not remain from this last yesterday.” Sorry, I will get over this eventually.

  22. What's wrong with Mallard Fillmore
    February 17th, 2007 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    My wife and I lived in the OC for a bit over two years (holy shit! we lived in the OC for TWO years!). Yep, Charterstone must be in Irvine. We lived in Garden Grove which at least wasn’t uniformyly white like some parts of the OC, although it did lack Trader Joe’s and mailboxes (seriously, it was a half-mile walk to the nearest mailbox. Now that we’re in L.A. I can get to three mailboxes without crossing the street more than once). My advice to whoamitoday–get out now. It’s worth it. Hell even Riverside County would be an improvement.

  23. Bombcar
    February 17th, 2007 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    Neddy seems to be making the universal hand-signal for “you’re a jack-off.”

  24. uncle balustrade
    February 17th, 2007 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    Butthead, in the top panel, would appear to be a three-faced space alien emitting cosmic rays from his head and hands. His bright green necktie gives him away. Only someone from the neighborhood of Arcturus or Fomalhaut would wear one of those.

  25. Joe
    February 17th, 2007 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    What exactly is They’ll Do It Every Time getting at here? That They’ll Try To Cheat On Their Wives Every Time? I don’t think that’s gonna be posted on my refrigerators any time soon.

  26. Opus
    February 17th, 2007 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    I don’t care how much in love I am (or, in the case of Sam and Abby, how long I’ve been in a go-nowhere relationship) — no one gets to call me at 6am unless they’re (a) bleeding out; or (b) The Publishers Clearing House Prize Patrol.

    #7 – Thanks, bunny. I thought maybe I was the only one wondering why that guy’s grandfather was attempting the hip-hop look.

  27. Red Greenback
    February 17th, 2007 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    WWWMF- Anyone who refers to Orange County as “the OC” doesn’t….Take it, Abbey…”GRRR”

  28. Frank Drackman
    February 17th, 2007 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    I think I see why TDIET doesnt work this time…the idea was from “Ollie and Fred” in the Bronx..a gay couple if I’ve ever heard one…just pretend Buttbrain is a hairdresser, and Helgar is the butch one and its funny!

  29. Thats The Spirit
    February 17th, 2007 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    I’m no expert, but this is the first TDIET that I’ve found to be not only unfunny, but positively sad.

  30. UnderstatementJones
    February 17th, 2007 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    “It’s six AM back home … I’m calling 5 AM”

    Abbey bends the properties of time and space to place her phone calls. Neddy thinks this is pretty “righteous,” so in spite of her hangover she still waggles her hand in a half-hearted surfer gesture.

    Oh, and Neddy didn’t forget to brush her teeth. But brushing doesn’t help when it’s coming out your pores.

  31. Rhekarid
    February 17th, 2007 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    The comics are so educational. I finally I know that the proper sound effect to accompany a dog’s head widening into that of a hammerhead shark’s is an unpunctuated “grrrrr.”

    What the Helgaring Hell is a “loveable glad tider?”

  32. Randy S
    February 17th, 2007 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    What I like is that all the girls at Buttbrain’s work are approximately equal in frumpiness with his own wife. So if he is cheating, he’s not going too far outside the box.

  33. migellito
    February 17th, 2007 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    tdiet – The thing I find most disturbingly unrealistic is the reaction of his office co-workers. If a real person called women in their office m’love, sweetheart and honey-babe, they’d be found dead in the restroom by the second week of employment.

  34. jules
    February 17th, 2007 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    #31 Rhekarid – “loveable glad tider” is Scadutoese for “thinks of himself as Casanova even though he has body odor that could kill a horse.”

  35. Edward
    February 17th, 2007 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    Trust Sarah’s canine senses, and get a goddam haircut.

  36. apostate
    February 17th, 2007 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    I had a different take on this TDIET.

    Lookit who’s trapped in the closet…

    Buttbrain is full of extravagant affection for his platonic female coworkers.

    …but when he speaks to a woman who expects him to service her sexually. Oh-h-h, someone’s not sounding so cheerful!

    Today’s TDIET is in fact a humorous retelling of Frank and/or Ozzie’s wasted years trapped in hetero hell.

  37. apostate
    February 17th, 2007 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    Um, Fred and/or Ollie, I mean…

  38. Susie Derkins
    February 17th, 2007 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    FW: I’m no fan of this comic of doom, but I must admit that I like Chien’s reason for not getting a class ring: “Why should I pretend to have a lot of love and loyalty for this school, when, in fact, I’m only here as a matter of geographical happenstance?”. I thought the exact same thing when I was in high school. I was just thinking about it a few nights ago; there was a show on about a high school football team and its hatred for its biggest rivals (and vice versa), and I thought “What the hell kind of sense does that make? It’s not like they CHOSE to go to one school or another. Their bond with their school and hatred of another school is based on what freaking district they live in. It’s what Vonnegut would call a grand falloon.”

    So I’m on the same page with the Funky goth chick. Scary.

  39. The Bitter Wolf
    February 17th, 2007 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    Dang, I’d have the same reaction to my wife and kid if they looked like hound dogs. Also Buttbrain is probably bitter that his name is BUTTBRAIN.

  40. Uncle Lumpy
    February 17th, 2007 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    #30 U. Jones -

    “It’s six AM back home … I’m calling 5 AM”

    I read it that way too — alas, she’s only calling “SAM”, with that snazzy new GSM phone he all up and programmed for her. It was a coupla years ago, I think. We were kids.

  41. Selena
    February 17th, 2007 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    I thought the frame shows the women just as the bust out laughing and ridiculing Buttbrain. By the end of the day he finally gets it that nobody but nobody finds him attractive and goes home to take it out on Helgar. Pretty soon he’ll realize the kid isn’t his and his gloom will completely freeze him.

  42. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    February 17th, 2007 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    9 Sheilauaaarrgghhhh: It’s pronounced “veg-tables” in three syllables unless you’re Brian Wilson. But wait – Dennis’s neighbor is named “Mr. Wilson”…has he ever built a sandbox in his living room? Perhaps Dennis – by pronouncing “vegetables” in three syllables instead of “vejuh-tables” – is trying to get “Mr. Wilson”‘s goat. Which raises the question of what Mr. Wilson is doing keeping a goat in his suburban, sandbox-living-roomed home anyway.

  43. Uncle Lumpy
    February 17th, 2007 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    #42 Gadge -

    Gives the guy something to preen.

  44. MonkeyHawk
    February 17th, 2007 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    #42 — Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener:

    I know as much worthless trivia as a lot of people, but I had no idea how Brian Wilson pronounces “vegetable;” only that he used to be one.

  45. Mr. O’Malley
    February 17th, 2007 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    38. I seem to have a vague recollection of T-shirts bearing the motto “The [sports team of my locality] is better than the [sports team of your locality]!” Or something like that.

    No doubt one of you geniuses will immediately come up with the original source.

  46. Plasma
    February 17th, 2007 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    I don’t even know who Brian Wilson is.
    Is he anything like Brian Pepper?

  47. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    February 17th, 2007 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    #45 Mr. O’Malley — The Onion. Where else?

  48. Mibbitmaker
    February 17th, 2007 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    #22: Don’t call it that![/Michael Bluth]

    RMMD: All Niki has to do is get Gunk from “Curtis” to deal with Abbey the Snarling Dog.

    JP: Also, if her right hand gesture is any indication, she seems to have joined a gang at some point over the course of the previous night’s activities.

    Either that, or she’s too hung over to get “The Shocker” right.

    TDIET: Scaduto really botches the ol’ Foghorn Leghorn-speak, don’t he? Oh…..yes…!!

  49. Mibbitmaker
    February 17th, 2007 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    #48 (My TDIET comment): Or maybe he translated it into Russian, then back into English.

  50. Islamorada Girl
    February 17th, 2007 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    If you’re old enough to go to l’ecole des arts in Paris, you’re old enough to register without the aid of a parent or guardian. But maybe Neddy is a special needs chameleon; her hideous beret changes colors with her many moods. Young butler should be driving the short bus to Place des Manques.

  51. fizzy logic
    February 17th, 2007 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    Aww – Poor Michael Patterson, ultra FOOB. Real life is such a bummer, now that he’s at work (does he only have to work a couple of days a year? – we never see him at work) he has to fire people. Which means that people won’t like him and won’t appreciate his proper sainthood. So he’ll have to quit, instead. Then he can PARTY! (Only with the people who appreciate his noble sacrifice, of course). It really would be too bad if you had to do something difficult and adult, Michael.

    Anybody starting an over/under on the date of the party and the Liz/Granthony hookup? How long is LJ going to drag this dreadful sense of foreboding out? Now that Valentine’s Day has come and gone, I’m sure she’s out to ruin my wedding anniversary, which is in March. Completely coincidental, of course, because unlike the Jr. Pattersons, I don’t think it’s all about me.

    Also, anybody want to speculate on the horrible dialog that will get them together? Something in the “I’ve always loved you” vein? C’mon all you writers, go to it!

  52. MonkeyHawk
    February 17th, 2007 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    “They don’t… Ah, say…listen to me son, Ah’m talkin’ to ya, boy… (kid’s built too close to th’ ground; ever’thang I say to ‘im goes over his head)… They don’t do it ever’ time, son. Sometimes they don’t do it ever! That’s the joke, son. Ah swan t’ John, some people wouldn’t understand subtlty if it slapped ‘em in the face!”

  53. Foobar
    February 17th, 2007 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    From the previous Pluggers-

    Describing your own child as a “little plugger” is akin to criminal negligence.

  54. AwfulArt
    February 17th, 2007 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    Friday’s ” Ripley’s
    Believe it or Not”

    Can Alcohol
    Be Created
    By The
    answer tomorrow

    Sat answer:
    People With
    Can Become
    When Their Body
    Normal Food
    Into Alcohol
    During The
    Digestive Process !

    Hello: Tinslel, Hart
    and MonkeyHawk…!!!

  55. Tuan Jim
    February 17th, 2007 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    I love how suddenly because there’s a TV show about it – Orange County must refer to California. Because there’s not a single other state with an Orange County – nosiree.

    Anyone know what’s the joke in today’s “Get Fuzzy” though?

  56. Ukulele Ike
    February 17th, 2007 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    I felt the same way as Chien about the damn class ring, but I bought one anyway.

  57. doug rogers
    February 17th, 2007 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    “He ate veg-tables, an’ look at him… he’s dead!”

  58. doug rogers
    February 17th, 2007 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    They’re looking for the cat, that dog is so hungry…

  59. looks2ce
    February 17th, 2007 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    55 – My girlfriend and I literally busted out loud laughing at the same time over todays Get Fuzzy. Satchel never finishes the joke he is telling to nobody. When Rob realizes that he has drifted off he looksat satchel and then off into the distance to see if Satchel is actually staring at something.

    Basically he was showing Garfield how to do a strip with no movement and no action.

  60. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 17th, 2007 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    Judging from the placement of Niki’s (and isn’t that the girl spelling?) hand, he watched something even racier and more Showtimey/Cinemaxesque afterwards, and it hit him right down there. His dreams tonight will be of June Morgan doin’ the wil’ thing with The L Word’s Katherine Moenig.

  61. Andy L.
    February 17th, 2007 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    That Rex Morgan strip would be a lot better if I didn’t know that “Sarah” was the Morgans’ daughter. Because otherwise I would have assumed that “Sarah” was the dog, and then the strip would have been amusing.

  62. Poteet
    February 17th, 2007 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    Old Fogeyette, isn’t it true that you used your incredible powers to produce new posts just a few minutes after saying that you would under the “Sacre” post? Spooky…

  63. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    February 17th, 2007 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    43 Uncle Lumpy:

    Don’t you want somebody to preen?
    Don’t you need somebody to preen?
    Wouldn’t you love somebody to preen?
    You better find somebody to preen…

    44 & 46: You young whippersnappers don’t know nothin’, do ya. (And who the hell is “Brian Pepper”?) Brian Wilson was the former songwriter with the Beach Boys who went nutso in the late sixties and sort of tentatively nudged his way back into something like sanity recently. I’m talking about the song “Vegetables” (sometimes spelled “Vega-Tables”), wherein he sings the word “vejuh-tables” like that. (The original recording featured Paul McCartney…munching on celery for percussion.)

    (NB: I should clarify that I’m not so damned old as to remember all this firsthand – I just read a lot and listen to music nearly as old as I am (although not only that). My real-time memories of music start in the ’70s. I’m just sayin’ – don’t be sending me no AARP mailings yet.)

  64. DaveyK
    February 17th, 2007 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    Normally, reading TDIET is a cause for head scratching because the situation that “happens everytime” is as unrecognizeable to me as the characters and dialog are to anyone who postdates the Hoover Administration.

    This one, however, is a breath of fresh air…or at least it would be if it weren’t such a desperate cry for help from Ollie and Fred.

  65. GG
    February 17th, 2007 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    Buttbrain is so much chillier towards his wife because she’s clearly a man named Helgar in drag. Look at her! “Her” hair doesn’t even remotely a woman’s haircut (or a human being’s for that matter) and she appears to be at least a foot taller than buttbrain when bending down, meaning she’s a good 2 feet taller than him when fully upright. Again, Helgar? Is that even a real name at all? And let’s not even get into the fact that Buttbrain’s “son” is obviously a midget wearing a backwards cap.

  66. Poteet
    February 18th, 2007 at 12:02 am [Reply]

    # 63 — Ahem, Gadge. I feel mildly compelled, waving my cane, to point out that there’s nothing wrong with being old enough to remember the Beach Boys firsthand, just as there’s nothing wrong with being young enough not to remember them. I have friends in both categories. Let a thousand flowers bloom, including some flowers whose petals are fading but who have some great Sixties memories stored in their seed pods, so to speak:-).

  67. Uncle Lumpy
    February 18th, 2007 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    Mmmm. Sixties’ seed pods . . . .

  68. HBGlord
    February 18th, 2007 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    #9 — Around the deathly dull places i hang out, we call that the “Diff’rent Strokes” rule (as in the TV show). That show’s producers punctuated the word that way to connote some level of streetwiseacreage, i suppose, oblivious to the fact that no one pronounces the word otherwise. I guess the hip-hop “Strokez” variation had yet to be devised.

    #42 – And to further your connection, the towheaded Dennis was the most menacing of the Beach Boys, if only for his friendship with Charles Manson.

    #66 — And what’s that hoary old saw: “If you remember the Sixties, you weren’t there”?

  69. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    Poteet – I meant no insult to the pluggers old codgers revered elders on the list. Just trying to clarify, given that a couple of my photos occasionally grace these pages, that I’m not quite that miraculously youthful-looking.

  70. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    68 HBGlord: However, “Strokes” is pronounced with an “S” sound (not a “Z” sound) at the end. Try it and see. (If there were such a word as “strogue” rhyming with “vogue,” its plural would be pronounced with a “Z” sound.)

    The other well-known variant of this strategy is, of course, “wuz” – as in “we wuz robbed” (as if it’s ever pronounced any other way).

  71. rich
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:08 am [Reply]

    That is the saddest TDIET ever.

    Not just a half-hearted greeting, but “50 below zero”??

    And those shocked looks on his wife and son’s faces as he saunters in, seething with disdain and contempt, while the poor woman rushes to get the table set for this sadistic bully! I think Scaduto took this one a few steps further than its authors, Fred & Ollie, ever intended.

  72. rich
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:11 am [Reply]

    JP: Looks like Neddy’s giving her the “take a hike” gesture.

  73. ragthetiger
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:11 am [Reply]

    Well, well, Elvis has finally shown up! I was starting to wonder if I dreamed that bit where the landlady gave him June’s address.

    Beaver sighting in Piranha Club, btw… Wombat sighting too, but that’s a different group.

  74. Wirrrn
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:18 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan MD:

    Abby’s been trained by Rex to go for the jugular of anyone who might discover he’s Tivo’ed every episode of QUEER AS FOLK…

  75. Len
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:18 am [Reply]

    It’s a dog-eat-dog world, this weekend. Here’s Lio, making certain his big fish friend gets fed…

    And note the sign in the penultimate panel of Piranha Club, where the butcher is selling poor Theodore and Castoria’s cousins!

  76. True Fable
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:19 am [Reply]

    Poteet, my queen! You are absolutely right, although I did not realize you could see my pods from there. I’m blushing. ;) My very first concert was a Beach Boys concert, and until it disentegrated into tiny fluffs of cotton, the t-shirt from that show was mercilessly worn at every occasion and washed without regard for future cloth integrity.

    Snark, snark, snark…Snark Vibrations! I feel ‘em coming on.

    DtM Dennis the Mere Irritation. MenaceWatch2007 says, you get minus 30 points for Sunday. Mr. Wilson, however, get plus 10 because we don’t know what he’s praying for strength for in panel 8. With Dennis and Joey either taking off or pulling on their jackets, as a standalong panel it would be truly menacing.
    MW Check out panel 5 – “Can’t people move away from the infected areas?” – spoken like a true condescending American, Mary. Jeff did his best to move away from YOU, you meddling old sack of shit, and he failed despite being an American with lots of cash. Poor natives don’t stand a chance by comparison. And of course, the last panel highlights the fact that you’re only interested in how it affects you anyway.
    Wait under the bridge with the other trolls, Mary. Feeding time is nigh.
    FC Hey, Dolly, wanna see something REALLY cool? Hold this fork and then poke it into those little openings in the wall where the computer was plugged.
    MT Sunday feature: “The Story of the Ubiquiduck”. The educational value of comic strips is incalculable.
    BB I didn’t realize Lynn Johnston joined the American Army, but then the news DID say recently that the Army has lowered its standards.

  77. True Fable
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    #177 DtM Stand ALONE panel.

  78. Len
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:24 am [Reply]

    And Dennis — the big Dino may not have been a carnivore, but somebody’s picked those Dino-bones cleaner than a Thanksgiving turkey carcass!

  79. ohgrl
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    DTM: You guys are picking on the hyphen in the caption, but there’s a huge typo in the picture. There is no such thing as a Tyrannosaurous Rex or a Brontosaurous.* How can we expect Dennis to speak properly when his dad won’t even take him to a proper museum?

    * Yes, I know it’s Apatosaurus now, but it was a brontosaurus when I was a little Plugger.

  80. Poteet
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:47 am [Reply]

    # 68 — HBGlord, I think there is truth in that old saying. Although I know someone who was in Berkeley in the 60s, and he claims to have interesting memories in spite of inhaling.

    # 69 — No insult taken, Gadge, and enjoy your youthful manly boat-wrestling vigor while it lasts. (Heh heh.)

    # 76 — True Fable, my knight, I salute your dear departed tee-shirt and sympathize with its demise. And long may your pods wave proudly in the breeze:-).

  81. True Fable
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:47 am [Reply]

    #51 Fizzy logic, I was wondering that myself. Valentine’s Day threw me for a loop, but I suspect Lynnie has some grunts peeking in on this site and she decided to thwart our snarking.
    Trust me, Lynn: as long as you are responsible for keeping foobs in circulation, we’ll have reason to snark it, ’cause that’s the kind of crappy writer/artist you’ve become.
    That being said, I imagine this:

    Mike will spend a week or two agonizing over his editorial dilemma (aka ‘job description’ but I guess he didn’t bother with that when he took the job) So the party might start around the first of March. Mike has to be praised for (fill in the blank, Lynn has all sorts of reasons in her fantasies) which will take a week or two depending on how many past minor characters she hauls in to pay homage to His Noble Saintliness. So around the Ides of March, Liz will come to the party to “get on with life” and I predict she’ll run into Anthony CaintHelpMyself.

    Then they will tap dance around the subject with cute little plays on words for three or four days before Liz finally confesses that Paul left her for “another woman” – and not someone who actually came in the village to teach and not just to play Great White Missionary to the Ignorant Natives, and Susan is obviously not Cocktease of the Great White North.

    And *sigh* I suppose Anthony follow the traditional Lynn Johnston set up: Last panel, profiles of Liz and him facing each other, his mouth open and maybe with his tongue sticking out (Lynnese for “blurting out the truth”) …”How could he do that? I’d give anything to have you in my life!” or words to that effect. Liz, of course, will have her classic pouty open lipped stare, in the “beautiful Liz” mold Lynn does when she needs to tell the readers to sigh over her noble winsome charms.

    This will leave Foobites all over the place all a-tingle at what the next day might bring. She might even do the aforementioned strip on Saturday, so readers will have to wait All Day Sunday for Monday to come along. Sunday, of course, will be full of some sort of April ‘n’ the pets b.s. to leave folks in a still-cozy mood for Monday, when Liz will say something calculatingly self-depricating so Granthony will continue to kiss her ass for the whole week, reminding people that Liz is not as “successful” as her loser, I mean genius brother, but she sure is lucky to have a man like Anthony waiting for her!

    Waiting like a spider.

  82. rich
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    If it hasn’t been noted already, Rex and June Morgan have been caught moonlighting in panel 2 of Saturday’s Zippy.

  83. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    February 18th, 2007 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    #63 GCMP — Well, you asked who Brian Peppers is.

    He apparently lives in or near Toledo OH, as do some of the commenters here.

  84. Len
    February 18th, 2007 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    #79 (ohgrl) — Heh. My sainted old Yiddisher Grandmother used to refer to the fossilized behemoths as “dino- TZURISS.” The pun/wordplay sounds a lot like the Yiddish for “your problems.”

    (I don’t think anyone in “Dennis the Menace” ever said ANYTHING in Yiddish…)

  85. True Fable
    February 18th, 2007 at 2:10 am [Reply]

    #33 # migellito says: tdiet – The thing I find most disturbingly unrealistic is the reaction of his office co-workers. If a real person called women in their office m’love, sweetheart and honey-babe, they’d be found dead in the restroom by the second week of employment.

    Been doing that for years and I’m still alive. It’s all in the delivery. For Pete’ sake don’t mean it as anything but a light generic endearment, and its understood that you NEVER date any of them.

    But then, I don’t act like a major frostbitten asshat to family and friends either.

  86. whoamItoday?
    February 18th, 2007 at 2:15 am [Reply]

    What’s wrong with Mallard Fillmore says: “My advice to whoamitoday–get out now. It’s worth it. Hell even Riverside County would be an improvement. ”

    as a matter of fact, we are moving to England in 3 weeks. will that do it, ya think?

    I’m a native of Florida, and was a bit taken aback when my husband got a job in California. I was taught as a kid that the old abbreviation Calif. meant Come And Live In Florida.

    But this lack of humidity idea they have here is pretty nice, I’ll give ‘em that.

  87. Jessi
    February 18th, 2007 at 2:21 am [Reply]

    Longtime reader, coming out of lurk to say

    HOLY FOOB, Mike has his hand down his sister’s pants.

  88. left of the pyle
    February 18th, 2007 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    You’d think Rex and June would have learned by now that Abbey has pretty good senses. Their lack of recognition of Abbey’s protestations makes you wonder how often she just ends up peeing on the ficus after her hours of scratching and whining at the door. Poor dog would die an early death from bladder or colon cancer if she lived in a real-time strip… then how smart would Rex look?

  89. Barbara P
    February 18th, 2007 at 2:23 am [Reply]

    Andy L. (#61)

    I’m pretty new to this site, and I don’t know anything about Rex Morgan. As it turns out, I DID think that Sarah was supposed to be the dog. (Yes, it was hilarious, if a bit bizzare.)

    But I wasn’t sure who “Sarah the dog” was supposed to be angry at. Was she annoyed that she was exposed to inappropriate TV, or was she annoyed at her overly protective guardians?
    Maybe she was pissed that the two of them were talking about her as if she wasn’t there?

    Well, now that you’ve cleared it up, the strip has lost it’s wonder. Except it’s still weird that the dog would have anything to add to a human conversation. Unless the dog hates (the real) Sarah and growls every time it hears her name.

  90. True Fable
    February 18th, 2007 at 2:26 am [Reply]

    And guys are called Bud, Pal, Dude, and of course the highest compliment of all, Pogo. When I want to make a point about something, I call someone Skeezix.

    As in, “Look, Skeezix; I’m trying to do you a favor. Don’t stand next to a swinging door.”

  91. Steve S
    February 18th, 2007 at 2:40 am [Reply]

    So is Buttbrain his first name or his last name? If it’s last, ol’ Helgar Buttbrain has it bad more ways than one.

  92. jordan
    February 18th, 2007 at 3:06 am [Reply]

    Brian Wilson is a genius. Yes, he had some difficulty with mental illness, but he is a genius for mixing, harmonies, he really made a pop group do something musical rather than saleable.

    this is someones art put to the song “Vegetables”
    yes, it’s weird, but it is to surf music what pynchon is to literature. Wilson also did plenty of not werid stuff.

    writting music about vegetables isn’t that weird. Out here on the west coast there is a cult around the accordin-player Jason Webley sings about vegatables all the time;

  93. lynngineering
    February 18th, 2007 at 4:13 am [Reply]

    JP: Neddy gives the sign that the new friends she met last night, the surfer-dudes taught her. They laughed to themselves between drinks, as she started using it thinking it meant “phone”, but in fact it’s Deaf sign-language which in French is the equivalent of a big “FUCK YOU” – just perfect for art school. Already people in line around her are saying in French “Check out that punk American girl..”.

    FOOB: Coma-dream theory, still holds up the best, and explains how Valentine’s D-Day got lost, as Michael is just getting worse and worse.

    After Michael’s completely extreme fantasy level, the “wake up fool” signals start coming to him in the form of misfortunes that suddenly appear like warnings. He starts to get slapped around with shots of “reality” and signals from everywhere (Grandpa Jim, Weed “I am going to take you to that house, the scene of the crime again”; the parking lot – Michael, you THINK you have a parking space because you are “someone”, but in reality you are illicitly living off of the borrowed time; and at work where they fought for him after he was fired himself – the memo comes – you’re just a cog in business, do your job, and fire some of them. ) Michael making any decisions means to try and wake up. Notice he made none so far in the comic, since the fateful day he was running up the stairs to save his stupid book.

    And then, the parallel world scene on Sunday, the “snowball” fight. It’s all about sensations – he calls up the figure of big sis Elizabeth, who earlier his fantasy made go all-infantile like, and watch hopelessly as he got EVERYTHING he wanted. Now she is being drafted in to throwing ice cold snowballs at him, provoking him to try and fight back, to feel sensations again, to wake the hell up from this stupid fantasy.

    It’s getting COLD Michael, COLD, (smash) wake up! (face in snow) wake up!!

  94. AppleGirl
    February 18th, 2007 at 5:00 am [Reply]

    13 – Kate and whoamItoday – Hey, I’m in Irvine, too! It’s a kooky place, laminated is a brilliant way to describe it. However, don’t let the plastic facade fool you. I know a surprisingly large number of cool creative people who live here, so don’t lose hope.

    Also, I think you nailed it: the Charterstone complex is definitely that one on Harvard Drive. Either that, or it’s the one I live in… yikes, we have pool parties, too!

    22 – WWWMF – What is this place “The OC” that you speak of?

  95. AppleGirl
    February 18th, 2007 at 5:20 am [Reply]

    81 – True Fable, I believe you paint an accurate picture of Future Foob. Beware the Ides of March, indeed.

  96. Nate Birch
    February 18th, 2007 at 7:20 am [Reply]

    Is it wrong that drunk Neddy turns me on?

  97. TB Tabby
    February 18th, 2007 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    BC: Al Gore? WHAT?! I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that Johnny Hart took a cheap shot at a liberal, but he claimed to invent the internet, not the Bizarro Indeo Locator!

  98. Frank Drackman
    February 18th, 2007 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    #65 I met a “Helgar” once, and while she was quite tall and had a short haircut she was extremely hot. Something about German gymnasts who dont shave their armpits is a huge turnon for me. I’m more interested in why Mickey Rooney is Buttbrain/Helgars son.

  99. Calico
    February 18th, 2007 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    “Lying in bed, just like Brian Wilson did…”
    A pure genuis, he. He was bamboozled for ages by his “counselor” Eugene Landy, who I think passed recently.
    MT – flight training-at the pond? Don’t they have swim training first, now that they made it out of the tree without becoming paté? Before taking off, they need to learn how to blow stuff up underwater.
    RMMD – a margoing boxcar saturn dog! Careful, Abbey.
    FOOB – Mike and Liz finally start trying to exterminate each other. They will soon progress to pinecones, then to unopened cans of Aylmer soup. I can hardly wait.

  100. Old Fogeyette
    February 18th, 2007 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    62 Poteet, I’ve been away since early yesterday afternoon, so I just skimmed the latest posts, and YES! It appears I did bring the previous-but-one thread to an end, so I guess my powers work on weekends as well. I don’t know how the immediate-past thread managed to end, though, as I just now saw it.

    Now… for some coffee, some comics, and if I have time before I have to go out again, some snarking.

  101. ohio teach
    February 18th, 2007 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    Oh for Pete’s sake, 97! Al Gore never claimed to invent the internet. He said that as a Senator he took the lead in securing funding that led to its development. Which is demonstrably true.

    Your one-liner’s been discredited for almost 6 years; it’s about as amusing as DM saying “veg-tables.” Where’ve you been?

  102. TB Tabby
    February 18th, 2007 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    100: I know, I know. But I wouldn’t be surprised at all if BC was still ragging on his because of it. It hasn’t even been a week since Mallard Fillmore made a pseudo-joke about Bill Clinton’s extramarital affairs.

  103. Calico
    February 18th, 2007 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    #100 – yes, your magic worked absolutely yesterday! I think you’ve got the power, 24/7.

    JP – I think Ned is holding an imaginary glass of champagne. Hair of the Dog, dear? Not a good way to start your education in Pareee. For heaven’s sake, you’ve been quaffing ever since the plane hit the International zone overwater.
    You don’t want to end up like Celeste, or worse yet, as her roomate in a rehab center.

  104. Anne
    February 18th, 2007 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Holy crap, panel 2 of Mary Worth today: he’s telling her about birth defects, horror, etc., and she’s sitting there smiling like “yes dear, that’s nice!” She’s actually thinking, “ha ha ha, I’ve got you now — I’m taking you home and I’m going to meddle with you until you DIE!”

  105. Remus - (A Tater Tot Man)
    February 18th, 2007 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    Batuik: “Let me tell you something, bucko – cartooning is a lot like making pizzas – the more unhealthy and spirit deadening ingredients you mix in, the more people love it!!”

  106. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 18th, 2007 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    FC:All right, let’s put this theory to the test.
    Holy shit! She’s right!

  107. Michael L.
    February 18th, 2007 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    FBofW: What does it say about these siblings that all but two of the snowballs are direct shots to the head? (And the other two are down the back and the butt.)

    A FBofW prediction: Michael P. will choose to resign rather than fire people. He will vow to make a living as A Writer. There’s so much Great Material in the lives of his family and friends! I kinda suspect that this freezing of the strip will tie into M.P. going over the past in the search for material. He will become the Garrison Keillor of Canada, and FBofW will become a meta-comic, with a character reading his own comic strip (M.P.’s first project: A book about Farley?)

    #42, Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener: I was happy to see your reference to Brian Wilson. Tip of the hat also to Van Dyke Parks, who wrote the lyrics for “Vega-Tables” and all the songs for SMiLE.

  108. reader-who-posts
    February 18th, 2007 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    JP: They still have no have no concept of the time difference between Paris and U.S. in Judge Parker. This appointment was at 8 am! Maybe in the Judge Parker universe Paris is just off the coast of New Foundland.

    DT: Dick Tracy investigates crime scenes in leather gloves?!?!

    FBOFW: Wait – Michael has a job? Also, it’s hard to tell but I’m almost positive that he was looking at gay porn at work.

  109. Daktari
    February 18th, 2007 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    Great Googley-Moogley! XM76 just played Brian Wilson’s Vega-Table! AAARRRGGGHHHH! Must delete station. Must put cotton swabs in ears and try to clean out the crap I just heard.
    It’s just another example of BeachGrampa garbage. No wonder I never liked that band.

  110. Uncle Lumpy
    February 18th, 2007 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Hey, I just noticed that the Washington Post site as below-the-fold links to “other comics” through, Tribune Media Services, and others. It includes color Sunday versions of B&W strips unavailable through the Chron like 9CL, GF, DT.

    Has this always been there, or is it new? It’s very convenient. Finally, an easy way to keep up with Brenda Starr!

  111. Uncle Lumpy
    February 18th, 2007 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    Crimeny! They’ve got L’il Abner!

  112. Basil Wrathbone
    February 18th, 2007 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Hopefully soon we’ll see Buttbrain’s new secretary Sue Hisassoff.

    I like Elvis hiding in the shadows with his gun. He needs criminal remediation if he’s afraid of the dog. I’m pretty sure that a gun-wielding, meth-addled psycho can beat a dog in a fair fight.

  113. Happy Happenstance
    February 18th, 2007 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    #110 — Thank you, Uncle Lumpy. Finally, a convenient and comprehensive way to view the Sunday funnies.

    I hate to admit it, but I kind of enjoyed today’s FOOB. Just the panel where the two were sitting in the snow laughing. I know, I’ll go stand in the corner now. Move over, Marvin.

  114. Poteet
    February 18th, 2007 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    Foob — Maybe it’s because I grew up in a more sedate family, but the frequent pillow-whacking and snowball-hurling of the Pattersons (and it’s always whacking and hurling, not gentle stuff) makes me uneasy, as if I were watching Joseph Kennedy’s competitive clan at their worst. And I think it would make me uneasy even if I didn’t hate them all, though at this point it’s hard to tell.

    Also, on the opening page of the Foobsite, the big color graphic sometimes remains quite blurred no matter how long I wait (not that I wait long), such that I can’t figure out what the graphic is supposed to depict. Ordinarily that’s just as well, but today I see a gallery of vague head shapes with large black pits open in their middles, like a screaming choir from Hell. It’s quite ghastly.

  115. ColoZ
    February 18th, 2007 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    TDIET: Did anyone notice the that the gal in blue is using a typewriter?

    That explains why Buttbrain isn’t getting hit with sexual harrassment lawsuits left and right. Apparently it’s 1981.

  116. Plasma
    February 18th, 2007 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    Another boomerang joke in BC.

  117. Poteet
    February 18th, 2007 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    STEVE CANYON — Re the earlier discussion about what we’d pick as our second choices for CC monikers, I’d pick Copper Calhoon for mine. She’s filthy rich, she’s menacingly beautiful, she’s uber-powerful, and she’s so full of attitude that she’d knock Margo clear into next week if they ever met. And she’s obviously decided that she don’t need no steenkeen’ social skills.

    Actually she strikes me as a potentially interesting blind date for Galactic Emperor Chennux, though such an encounter would probably destroy our sector of the galaxy, so never mind.

  118. Old Fogeyette
    February 18th, 2007 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    I’ve got to re-find that Steve Canyon link.

    So, nothing much doing in today’s strips except I thought Funky was a shout-out to CC; also , does anyone actually read Opus? It’s execrable. Too low even for snark.

  119. Poteet
    February 18th, 2007 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    # 67 — Umm indeed, Uncle Lumpy. Though possibly I should have picked a different metaphor, since seeds were not usually the plant parts of choice back then:-). And thanks for the Washington Post tip!

    # 81 — True Fable, your description alone is making my retinas hurt. Arrgh. I guess I’ll think of it as a kind of vaccination against the coming plague.

    # 100 — Fogeyette, as you start to explore and extend your powers further, remember that we here on this site are your friends:-).

  120. Squid Countess
    February 18th, 2007 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    Boy, it’s been a long week. I’ve only been able to skim, for the most part. I hate it when work interferes with my curmudgeonly activities.

    WilleThompson Where are you, my darling? Anyway, about 5 threads ago when you suggested that a woman with “Squid” in her name might, at the
    moment of ecstasy, yell, “I’m Inking!” – Bwahahahahahaha….gasp…bwhahahahaha… I can’t …breathe…bwahahahahahahaha!

    I’ll never be the same. In a good way.

    True Fable- I can see your pods. Please adjust them.

    Jym Dyer – I have a nightshirt with a kitty on it that says “Cute But Dangerous.” That’s certainly in line with your “30 and Still Frisky” ™, though my nightshirt doesn’t have the cachet of having come from saving pet food labels. You are a true Pluggers fashion maven.

    My name comes from having the flu and being enchanted by the idea of keeping a 2007 TDIET squid count. Which, as far as I know, is still at 3, but I haven’t read today’s (2/18) yet. My previous name, Summerhouse, is something I use for a lot of other purposes. I like the hum of the m’s in the middle contrasted with the swish/hiss of the s’s at the begining and end. It’s fun to say. And to someone who lived in a trailer park (talk about a Plugger) all of her life till she moved to a college dorm, the idea of a summerhouse is luxury beyond all imagining. At age 46, I have a summerhouse. It’s also my fall, winter and spring house.

    Phantom – Snore. Let’s see some more of Ghost-Who-Isn’t-Fully-Dressed, please!

    Rex Morgan, MD Do you remember, back in Spring, 2006, which I think was about 6 days ago at the most in RMMD, there was that blonde girl (Sarah’s nanny?) who married the more-money-than-God English guy (Milton?) who went on and on about his dead-beat family? And we all theorized as to how May and Nikki and Elvis were going to turn out to be that family? No? Oh. All right.

    I’ve been having that recurring dream where I never really graduated high school and now I have to pass this huge Chemistry final, or write a 40 page paper overnight or something or I’m completely doomed. I thought it was due to pressures at work, but now I’m thinking it’s just too much Archie.

  121. Jym Dyer
    February 18th, 2007 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    =v= DtM — At least Dennis has stopped running around telling everyone that his dad has a “wallop” in his pants.

    =110= Uncle Lumpy — A number of online newspapers have “rebranded” syndicate links. I keep an assortment of them here.

    =117= Poteet — The only problem with being Copper Calhoun is that she tends to wear outfits that are as hard to move in as high heels are to walk in. (Milton Caniff’s style is a bit stiff, so what’s supposed to look like silk ends up looking like shellac.)

    =118= Old Fogeyette — Getcha red hot (if a little stiff) Steve Canyon Reruns here!

  122. Poteet
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    MW — Maybe it’s just the weird perspective, but it looks to me as if Dr. Jeff may be making life very uncomfortable for the passenger behind him. I’m always nervous about reclining my seat at all, lest hate-rays reach me.

    RMMD — If there has to be a casualty in the next week or so, please let it not be Abbey the Wonder Dog. She’s not as adorable as an MT animal, but I like her. As for Rex, June, Niki, Widdew Sawah — take your pick, Elvis, I don’t care.

  123. Poteet
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    # 121 — Jim, excellent point, and that thought did occur to me. Plus the anatomies of Caniff women often defy the laws of physics. But what the heck — one could always just think of Copper as a metaphysical manifestation of the Dark Side of the Force. Or as ink on paper:-).

  124. Poteet
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    # 121 — Sorry, sorry, that should have been Jym. I need more tea.

  125. doug rogers
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

  126. Kate
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    13, 94 — WhoamIToday, Applegirl — my God, I was within striking distance of two curmudgeons and I didn’t know it. Irvine clearly has complexities eddying beneath that Formica surface.

    Shamefaced confession: I liked Irvine, precisely because it and my job demanded nothing unusual. I’m a nut-magnet, and for three whole Irvine days, I attracted no nuts. I went to go to class during the day, returned to a room that I didn’t have to clean every night, went to the hotel restaurant and drank overpriced wine that my company paid for, and went to sleep.

    This beats the hell out of pulling strands of grass out of a dog’s butt, which is what happens when I’m home and I take my dog for a walk and he poops and has been eating grass so the grass comes out in strands and doesn’t come out all the way and sticks out of his butt so he turns in circles, biting at his butt, and I have to hold him down and pull them out.

  127. Happy Happenstance
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    #114 Poteet — I agree with you about the level of violence in FOOB. I also came from a sedate family (possibly, even, comatose, at times). But, the panel where the two (I can’t bring myself to type their names) are laughing reminded me of an afternoon when my brother and I were walking to a restaurant during a freak March snowstorm and something struck us as funny and we started laughing and couldn’t stop. It was one of those “you had to have been there moments,” but I often think about it.


    # 125 Doug Rogers — Fantastic link. Thank you!

  128. Red Greenback
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    126 Kate: What am i, chopped liver? Wait…don’t answer that!!!!

  129. Uncle Lumpy
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    #121 Jym -

    That’s a great links page – thanks much!

  130. Islamorada Girl
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    Try having a dog that eats pantyhose.

    I bet Copper Calhoun’s dog doesn’t eat pantyhose.
    And she probably has a summerhouse.
    But no sense of humor, which is scarier than anything else about her.

  131. andreavis
    February 18th, 2007 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    What bugs me about Sunday’s FOOB is not necessarily the snowball fight between 2 grown people, or even the snow-down-the-pants shot. It’s the weird body contortions Liz and Mike are twisted up into. Who stands or bends like that? Especially the panel where Liz sticks her ass out. It’s all so unnatural and weird, like a funhouse mirror held up to reality. Oh wait, that describes FOOB perfectly!

  132. Red Greenback
    February 18th, 2007 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    (DT)DtM: Hey, axehead! How can you be sure that reassembled pile o’ bones is a “HE”? Dayum, this is making my irr-table bowel syndrome flare up!…

  133. John C Fremont
    February 18th, 2007 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    Why is it that I almost always forget that Sunday means light-hearted Foob, a nature lesson from MT, and the alternate story in Phantom? Oh yeah, Alzheimer’s.

    TDIET – If you do the Babelfish thing with that “glad tider” bit, you get “Gladly, but, like we glad mean, more tider.” Ach, ja!!

    Old Fogeyette, please don’t end the thread just yet. Always use your powers for the betterment of all Curmudgeonkind.

  134. John C Fremont
    February 18th, 2007 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    Guess I shoulda mentioned that I was Babelfishing in German…

  135. John C Fremont
    February 18th, 2007 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    # 96 – Almost forgot – No, Nate, it is not wrong that drunk Neddy turns you on.

  136. Uncle Lumpy
    February 18th, 2007 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    #133 -

    Old Fogeyette – our Ἄτροπος.

  137. Red Greenback
    February 18th, 2007 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    BTW, that’s…(DT)DtMâ„¢

  138. Mibbitmaker
    February 18th, 2007 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    Fred Basset: The Bizarro Fred Basset. I rather like this one.

    FOOB: Someone with Photoshop ought to take all the Foobs getting hit panels where you don’t see the thrower and make it look like a 3rd party is doing it… maybe Josh, maybe Lynn. If it looks like rocks instead of snowballs, it’ll be even more satisfying.

    FW: “… and you might even take a fairly clever and funny strip you’ve been doing for some time, and get all self-important and make it suddenly serious – even perpetually tragic. In spite of the wacky names you gave everyone, too. Don’t do that, Pete! Trust me.”

    BB: If FW is the Curmudgeon, then Beetle Bailey is Cartoon Violence on Wonkette. Only Josh is better than both of them.

    FC: Another way to get a whole line of sleep: read FC.

    Garfield: The Travelocity Gnome: “Am I going to die?”

    MT: I wish this were one of Tex Avery’s documentary parodies from just before World War II, because after the “flight training” panel, we’d see the ducklings flying B-19s in full pilot outfits to “Hooray for the Red, White and Blue”. All Sunday MTs should be Tex Avery WB shorts!

    Adam: “Home Cleaning with the Teutels”

  139. Mibbitmaker
    February 18th, 2007 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    I just can’t stop via FOOB!…

    ~ “THIS is for getting all the men in N. America in love with you, only to have them cheat on you! THIS is for writing in the most pretentious, annoyingly bad style ever known! THIS is for wimping out of Mtigzany, which you went to for reasons more condescending than your brother’s novel! THIS is for putting your dreadful book before family in a fire! AND for getting ahead with it outside of all publishing reality! And THIS is for when you settle for ship-that-sailed-a-long-time-ago Blanthony! HA!!”

    ~ (MikeEditor at work) “Aw, Mr. Gluttonymocking, can’t I just pelt them viciously with snowballs? Then we can just laugh in good fun afterwards. PLEASE?!”

    ~ (John) “Shovelling, eh? That’ll be the first productive thing either of them have done in years! –Oh, and April’s a brat!”

  140. Poteet
    February 18th, 2007 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    # 126 — Kate, I have indoor cats, but they do spend time in an enclosed pen outside, so I’ve had to do a little butt-grass pulling myself. Fun, eh?

    # 127 — Happy, I agree with you. The laughing-together panel was nice, and if I’d read your comment about it before posting my comment, I would have agreed then. I’m so slow at typing comments that I often find several new comments above mine when it finally appears.

    And re your comatose comment, bwahaha! Actually I suppose my family’s collective circulatory systems might be in better shape if we’d spent some time vigorously assaulting each other with pillows and snowballs, but I’m still glad we didn’t.

  141. Poteet
    February 18th, 2007 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    # 130 — Islamorada Girl, you are right, as usual. Upon reflection, if I had to wear Copper’s outfits and maintain a waistline smaller than my head, my sense of humor would also vanish. When Steve does take her out to lunch, I bet her “lunch” will be the slice of lemon in her tea.

  142. Squid Countess
    February 18th, 2007 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    #126 – Kate
    Let’s see, there’s Fred Basset, Snoopy, Abby, Andy, Duncan, Marmaduke, Puddles, Ruff, Satchel, Edgar, Dixie, Stripe, Otto, Devil, Daisy, Grimm, Louie and that wolverine in The Fusco Brothers, and not one of them has made me laugh like picturing your dog biting butt grass. Bwahaha! Although it does seem like a problem Satchel might have.

  143. Frank Drackman
    February 18th, 2007 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    Jeez Dr. Jeff…why don’t you get your pic taken at a Vietnamese Antiaircraft gun while youre at it?? If your so bent on helping out poor kids without medical care you could have stayed in California you pot smokin pinko. The commies won 32 yrs ago…seems they could have figured out basic medical care since then…I hope you get sued in Vietnamese jurisdiction for one of the free operations you did..doesnt matter you did it for free and nothing bad happened…

  144. Canuckguy
    February 18th, 2007 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    OK, anyone else think “Weed” from FOOB is supposed to represent the 60s hippies Lynn probably knew and grew up with (I’d say she was one, but we know Lynn never was cool. Ever.)

    Think about it, I mean the 60s part is very easy to relate to, I mean the man’s name is “Weed” for Patterson’s sake! But, as happens, most of the 60s hippies grew up and became 80s yuppies, trading in their VWs for Lexuses. That’s why, when I satisfied my morbid curiosity by catching up with the last few days of FOOB online and seeing Weed all of a sudden concerned about making money (“When it comes to making money, Mike, my dad is totally in focus” – Weed, 2/14/07) it just fell into place.

    Apologies if this has been covered before, I barely have time for comment reading any more (thanks, Josh, for the COTW feature from people like me!)

  145. dreadedcandiru2
    February 18th, 2007 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    131 -Foob: If you think Mike and Liz are weird looking, check out John; he looks somewhat , ahhhhh, feminine?

  146. T-Shirts
    February 18th, 2007 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    As much as I love Dennis the Menace, veg-tables was a bit much…

  147. Hank Ketchum's Ghost
    February 18th, 2007 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    Yes, Josh – I also appreciate your COTW feature, as well as you occasionally highlighting the best commenter material in other ways. While I often read the comments, sometimes my free time just won’t allow it. And I’m sure I’m not alone. I do check out the blog daily though! You’re a clever dude.

  148. Anonymous
    February 18th, 2007 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    #126 (Kate) Ya know, from now on, anytime I think I’m having a bad day, I’m going to think of your little story and feel better.

    And I just want to get this out there: if we don’t start seeing Niki, broom in hand, garage cleaning making doing as was promised, and I mean toot sweet… Well sir, there’s gonna be trouble. That’s all I’m sayin’.

  149. Gatormom
    February 18th, 2007 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    Apparently, Mike sticking his hands down Liz’s pants is NOT a new development. . . .

  150. Gg83
    February 18th, 2007 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    I want to reach through the monitor and smack Mary Worth today . As noted earlier, when Jeff’s telling her about the terrible effects of dioxin on these Vietnamese children, she has a smile on her face. Her expression seems to me to be saying, “Ha, serves them right for living in a backwards little country like Vietnam!”

    We can’t see her full expression as she asks why these people didn’t just move away (“Man, these idiots really could have used some advice from Mary back then!” she thinks), but she doesn’t seem terribly distraught about the situation.

    But then, in the last two panels, she discovers that American soldiers have also been affected by dioxin, and she finally looks concerned. “Oh no!” she thinks. “Real people have been hurt, too!”

  151. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    February 18th, 2007 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    A couple comments: First, yes, Brian Wilson’s a genius – I didn’t mean to imply he wasn’t, only that for some time he was three oars short of the top floor or whatever. Second: dammit, it’s Smile not the fancyass partially capitalized thing. That’s graphic design you see on the cover, not a dictation on how we all have to write it every time. Hrrmph! (Back in a minute – gotta let my pet peeve out to do its duty…)

    Also: While a brother might shove snow down the back of his sister’s pants up until she’s, oh, maybe 11 or 12 or so, doing so when she’s 26 or so (and he’s a few years older) is a bit icky. But this is FOOB, so…

  152. Poteet
    February 18th, 2007 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    # 150 — Now let’s be fair, Gg83. I don’t think Mary is concerned about the soldiers in the last two panels. I think she’s staring toward the aisle because she’s wondering what she’ll get for lunch. Judging from the large luxurious seats which apparently can recline with no inconvenience to the passenger behind — the more I look at those seats, the more bitter I get — she and Jeff will probably be offered a choice between lobster thermidor and prime rib, with chocolate mousse for dessert.

  153. Dr Ling
    February 18th, 2007 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    In prior life, ornithology preoccupied Dr Ling. Only Mark Trail tell cry of wood-duck “Jack Elrod!” “Jack Elrod!”

    I use powder wood duck genital cure “Doctor” Jeff.

    Dr Ling buy only Glaxxo Smith Klein wooduckgenitol, and so should you.

  154. Happy User
    February 18th, 2007 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    Me use Glaxxo wooduckgenitol like say Dr. Ling. Now me smile all time. Thank you Dr. Ling!

  155. whoamItoday?
    February 18th, 2007 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    RE: Irvine and OC (not ‘the’) curmudgeons:

    so, Applegirl and I live in Irvine, but Kate was only visiting, and Red Greenback and WWMFD are also in the county?

    Cool. but like I said, I’m leaving soon, 3 weeks from tomorrow. To the land of Fred Basset and, um, I don’t know any other English comics. Is Andy Capp actually English?

    “Also, I think you nailed it: the Charterstone complex is definitely that one on Harvard Drive. Either that, or it’s the one I live in… yikes, we have pool parties, too!”

    for the rest of you, who don’t understand how perfectly, laminatedly, Stepfordedly perfect Irvine is:

  156. Michael L.
    February 18th, 2007 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    #151: To each his or her own. But SMiLE is a pretty standard way to refer to the album (it’s the way the word was spellied on Frank Holmes’ original album cover). That spelling is even on BW’s website — here, for instance.

  157. Michael L.
    February 18th, 2007 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    Uh, spelled.

  158. Coffeeclash
    February 18th, 2007 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    #151 – It may look like Michael is shoving snow down his sister’s pants, but he is more likely trying to do the brotherly thing and help her remove her head from where it’s been stuck for the last six months.

  159. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    February 18th, 2007 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    Right – as I implied, though, one of my pet peeves is all this bullshit forcing-of-graphic-design-as-spelling crap. I don’t care how you print the name of your band; I’m spelling it with an initial capital letter in all major words and lowercase letters for everything else, per standard usage. Same thing if you’re a junior-high-school girl poet who wants to be called cYndi pAttErsOn – you’re Cyndi Patterson for those of us in reality-based typesetting.

    It’s pretty amusing: over at (a site where folks can keep track of what their computer-based noise-players play, and where they can see what other people are playing: a couple of mudges are on there that I know of), seemingly a quarter of the bands listed have (for reasons unknown to me) their names listed squigglywise – even when the band has one album out, on which their name appears with standard capitalization. And do not get me started on corporate-style InterCapitalization – grrr.

    Okay, okay, I’ll calm down. No, I’m fine, really. It’s alright – you don’t need to call the cops.

  160. Old Fogeyette
    February 18th, 2007 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    121 thanks for the Steve Canyon link!

  161. Red Greenback
    February 18th, 2007 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    #155 whoamItoday?-Now I’m confused! What I do Know(what do I know?): WWWMF now lives in “The LAC” ’cause he didn’t dig “The OC” and preferred “The RC” over “The OC” As for me, I have lived here since way before Gwen Stefani was a glint in Mr. S’s eye. Picture it if you will; There were actual orange groves, only one Laguna, and many, many square miles of pristine land now called things such as “Mission Viejo”, “Rancho Santa Margarita”, and whatnot. I have lived here nigh on 40 years…Hell, I once dined in a restaurant with John & Pilar Wayne sitting three tables over! I’ve “Been around the world and I, I, I” I am firmly ensconced here, and I’m NOT a “John Bircher”!

    And now back to our regularly scheduled Comics Snarkin’

  162. Uncle Lumpy
    February 18th, 2007 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    #159 -

    So, I’m guessing, no GadgeCubic® MolePreenerâ„¢, huh? And E. E. Cummings?

    Are you a Chicago Manual of Style guy? ‘Cuz Uncle Lumpy rolls with Garner’s Modern American Usage.


    February 18th, 2007 at 7:17 pm [Reply]


  164. Red Greenback
    February 18th, 2007 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    …which brings us back to a previous thread: “things we blurt out when orgasming”—”Eeeee, Eeee, Cumming!”…(or in my case…FIRST!)

  165. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    February 18th, 2007 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    #159 Gadge, I tend to agree with you. In fact, I once wrote a rant on essentially this topic. I know it would be too much of a digression to discuss the topic in depth within this thread, but those who are curious can read my rant here.

    Also, all this talk about Irvine reminds me: Isn’t Will Ferrell from there?

  166. Red Greenback
    February 18th, 2007 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    I worked with a guy who went to school with Will. All I remember is this guy said they used to play Lite-Brightâ„¢ together and Mr. Ferrell was the Lite-Brightâ„¢ master!…

  167. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 18th, 2007 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    #123, Milton Caniff is hardly the worst offender when it comes to giving women “What? How?” anatomies. Half the comic book artists in business have him beat.

  168. Red Greenback
    February 18th, 2007 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    Old Fogeyette? Can you do your voodoo that you do so well?

  169. AwfulArt
    February 18th, 2007 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    Nothing Rhymes With Implants; the best punch line of the day in “Opus”… Breathed finally gets one right…!!!

  170. Red Greenback
    February 18th, 2007 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    OK, I see what’s happening here. CHENNEX ate our Dingo, and the prime rib. “Peggy” has also been somewhat distant, On the upside, I think CHENNUX healed Niki’s fucked-up jaw!

    Hail Chennux!

  171. whoamItoday?
    February 18th, 2007 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    161 Mr. Greenback

    sorry to misplace you when I was doing my roll call of OC mudges.

    really, knowing you and Applegirl are here really makes it better.

    Yes, Will Ferrell went to high school here.

  172. Poteet
    February 18th, 2007 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    # 167 — Artist, of course you are right. And if I snark a little about, say, the Copper Calhoon Diet (one hard-boiled egg every other week), it’s out of deep affection for the strip. Milt Caniff must have had a lot of fun drawing it, because it sure is fun to read.

  173. John C Fremont
    February 18th, 2007 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    Gee, all this OC stuff makes me feel a little left out, with me being from the Iowa contingent – currently in Nebraska but, well, same thing really. But if there’s ever a discussion about life in Jamaica, Iowa, well, “I am fully qualified to be your man.”

    Please, Old Fogeyette, end this thread!

  174. John C Fremont
    February 18th, 2007 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    Please, in the name of Rod! (Stewart.) (Rutles reference.)

  175. Red Greenback
    February 18th, 2007 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    Yes!! Coto De Casa, Nebraska!! O.Fogeyette., Please do yer “Tweezle Twazzle”thang…
    Oh, yeah, una mas chingadera…I tried to post this on Sean Hannity’s blog…”OK, I see what’s happening here. CHENNEX(sic) ate our Dingo, and the prime rib. “Peggy” has also been somewhat distant, On the upside, I think CHENNUX healed Niki’s fucked-up jaw! Hail Chennux!”
    …But I got barred.

  176. Poteet
    February 18th, 2007 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

    # 173 — John, I’ve been happy just to find out that there IS an Iowa contingent on this site. When that fact came popping up a few weeks ago, I was amazed. And maybe we won’t get a new thread until tomorrow. It does happen.

  177. John C Fremont
    February 18th, 2007 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    …b-b-but I’ve already called upon the powers of Old Fogeyette (which I’ll bet are MORE than a match for Chennux’s powers) to end the thread. Is it too late?

    Stay tuned. Same Bat time, Same Bat – wait, I’ve done this before, haven’t I?

  178. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    February 18th, 2007 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    162 UL: Thing is, Cummings (and with him I’m almost tempted to allow him his lowercasing) was doing something new, playing with the visual form of poetry on the page, along with syntax – even though many of his poems end up being rather traditionalist in theme, sometimes even structure. But now that whole anti-capitalization thing is a cheap brand name, an attempt to argue from sizzle that the steak’s distinctive. Plus which, it’s so overused (as my example might suggest) that it doesn’t even make anyone who uses it distinctive any more. And often, people get confused, in that they know that some people/bands/whatever do insist on their stupid lowercasing, so that when they see a mere instance of graphic design lowercasing something, they think they need to follow suit. (There is a minor professional irritation here: I think I’ve mentioned that in my day job I teach English at UW-Milwaukee. I get writers who assume that the right way to present a word is however it’s set on the page – so they see the cover of a book that prints the title all in lowercase, and they assume they must do so. Or titles of articles within a book are printed in italics, so they think they should do the same. Ain’t so…)

    Okay, it’s officially time for new comics, since we’re chatting away about capitalization and italicization and quotation marks and the like.

    [taps foot irritably...]

    I must invoke Old Fogeyette and her awesome powers of Josh-Provoking!

  179. True Fable
    February 18th, 2007 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    # 120 – Squid Countess – Yes m’am, they are adjusted appropriately. Thank you for the (omg) head’s-up.
    #126 – Kate – So, how do you feel about pods? Because after reading about what you have to do with your dog, it sounds like you could use a break.

  180. Red Greenback
    February 18th, 2007 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    Buttbrain’s a muhfuh playa! what with th’ Jay-Zee harberdashery and all…Help us, Old Fogeyette!!!!!!

  181. John C Fremont
    February 18th, 2007 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    Crap, Old Fogeyette usually doesn’t use her powers until mornings before coffee. Noooo! NOOOO!! (Cut to Johnny LaRue’s crane shot.) NOOOOO!!!!

  182. True Fable
    February 18th, 2007 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    Thanks for the link to the Washington Post comics, Uncle Lumpy. Unfortunately it doesn’t carry Judge Parker, and I’ve just got to have some Sunday Abbey and/or Neddy viewing! But I can still peel that off the Houston site.

    I’m not Eeee-ven going to get into the capitalization or groovy visual expression debate. The truth is, I don’t really care that much as long as I can decipher what someone is trying to say. It’s like putting an e at the end of Gil Thorp – who really gives a big crap? I like to spell things right but I don’t care if it’s spelled wrong. I have bigger problems to worry about. This is where I go to have fun, y’all.

    I knew a girl named Cindy, who spelled her name Cyndi. I asked her why she spelled it that way, and she giggled and said, “Just for fun.” I said, don’t you get confused sometimes and I’ll be damned if she didn’t blink and in all seriousness said, “Yeah, sometimes.”

  183. Red Greenback
    February 18th, 2007 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

    Hey, did anyone happen to check out “Ziggy” today? Is it just me, or is….Waaaaaaa……Aw, crap!!!

  184. reader-who-posts
    February 18th, 2007 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    Now that Mary Worth is wrapping up the Vietnam story line, I’m sure never to heard from again, I thought I’d give up my snarky comments for a second to remind everyone that it is possible to give online to Peace Village.

  185. Jerzy Plates
    February 18th, 2007 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    The Nebraska State Motto:


  186. Red Greenback
    February 18th, 2007 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    I heard Scaduto just learned about iPods from his grandchildren…we can all now look forward to some iScrod references from The Oracle of Oh Yeah….Fogeyette????

  187. MonkeyHawk
    February 18th, 2007 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    #178 — Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener:

    archy and mehitabel predate e.e. cummings’ abuse of typography; logically.

  188. Cafangdra
    February 18th, 2007 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    #150, you sum up my thoughts exactly. Burn, Biddy, Burn.

  189. Len
    February 18th, 2007 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

    #117 (Poteet) — Copper Calhoun… Those padded shoulders, the arched eyebrows… Copper is really Miss Joan Crawford, isn’t she?

    No wire hangers!

  190. Red Greenback
    February 18th, 2007 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    i’m a bob cummings man, myself. love that bob!

  191. Mr. O’Malley
    February 18th, 2007 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    187. From Wikipedia:
    His publishers and others have sometimes echoed the unconventional capitalization in his poetry by writing his name in lower case and without periods, as e e cummings; Cummings himself did not approve of this rendering.

    Archy and Mehitabel first appeared in 1916. E. E. Cummings first published in 1917. So there’s not that much of a gap between them.

  192. Red Greenback
    February 18th, 2007 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

    And ‘Schultzy’ too.

  193. Red Greenback
    February 18th, 2007 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    (doing my best Col. Klink here) FO-Gey!!!

  194. Poteet
    February 18th, 2007 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    # 189 — Len, I see your point. However, I’ll bet Copper would break another vase over someone’s head just at the thought of being compared with a mere major Hollywood star:-).

  195. Chesnut
    February 18th, 2007 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    Obviously, the writers for Denis the Menace failed to recognize the segment deletion in the spoken form of “vegetables,” making their hyphenated version superfluous and, in fact, over corrective. Somebody needs to take a linguistics class…or listen to anyone say the vegetables.

  196. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    February 18th, 2007 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    Chesnut – yeah man you are totally cool with it and we really do gotta listen to the vegetables cuz like they’re down with the earth and groovy and they can teach us how to love one another and like breathe together and – jesus lookout there’s a giant flying giraffe with fangs and it just crashed through the window and exploded!

  197. Red Greenback
    February 18th, 2007 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

    And another thing… This whole “Brian Wilson is a musical genius” thang. Yeah. cool..”God Only Knows” is a beautiful tune and all, but I’ve been surfing since Christ was a corporal, and I recently heard the BB tune “Cool Water”(again) and I gotta tell ya…”in the ocean or in a glass, cool water is such a gas”…Hey Nimrod. water is a liquid….A LIQUID!!! OK, I’ll shut up now.

  198. Edward W. Miller
    February 18th, 2007 at 11:33 pm [Reply]

    FW: Does anybody else think Darin Fairgood looks like Bob Hope?

  199. Red Greenback
    February 18th, 2007 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

    #198 Ed–Aw man, at this point, it’s all Billy Joel to me…Help us , Old Fogeyette!!!!

  200. MonkeyHawk
    February 19th, 2007 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    And, yes, “God Only Knows,” is a wonderful song and Brian’s arrangement and production of it is superb, but it was written by the other Wilson brother. Not Brian, not Dennis…. Shemp?

  201. MonkeyHawk
    February 19th, 2007 at 12:12 am [Reply]


  202. HBGlord
    February 19th, 2007 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    #200/201 — No, Brian wrote the music, with lyrics by Tony Asher. Carl sang it.

  203. HBGlord
    February 19th, 2007 at 12:18 am [Reply]

    And with that, i’m so tempted to chime in on the grammar/spelling/copy editing/fact checking foofaraw here that i too implore Old Fogeyette to twitch her nose or cross her hands and nod or do whatever it is to get a new page going.

  204. Cornwhacker
    February 19th, 2007 at 12:19 am [Reply]

    Here’s a thought: If Dennis the Menace married Mr. Wilson, he’d be Dennis Wilson.

  205. HBGlord
    February 19th, 2007 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    #204: …which as of 24 minutes ago it is quasi-legal for them to do in New Jersey (exceot for that pesky age of consent bit).

    And i think with current trends it’s more likely he’d be Dennis Menace-Wilson.

  206. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    February 19th, 2007 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    Cornwhacker: “If Dennis the Menace married Mr. Wilson”

    …Joey’d be so damned jealous.

  207. Trotzenbonnie
    February 19th, 2007 at 12:38 am [Reply]

  208. Trotzenbonnie
    February 19th, 2007 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    i didnt mean to interrupt the wilson thing. got whacked in the head by some beads tonight. it made me rude and unable to capitalize. sorry.

  209. MonkeyHawk
    February 19th, 2007 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    #202 — HBGlord:

    I stand corrected.

    It’s my own fault, going after the Shemp joke.

  210. Don
    February 19th, 2007 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    This comic about the guilty pleasures of famous writers from the NY Observer (via is pretty cool.
    Who would have thought Vladmir Nabokov was a big Dennis the Menace fan? I like the part about him doubting Dennis’s legitimacy.

    Also according to this Nabokov was a avid comic strip fan, and once wrote a letter to the paper pointing out plot inconsistencies in Rex Morgan.

  211. HBGlord
    February 19th, 2007 at 1:07 am [Reply]

    #209 — MonkeyHawk, never, ever apologize for a Shemp reference.

  212. AppleGirl
    February 19th, 2007 at 1:24 am [Reply]

    I think it’s up to me to end this thread. Fogeyette and I have the same awesome powers.

    Red Greenback, glad to know you’re also here in Orange County. When I left DC last month, I thought I’d be the only CC in OC. I lived here since 1994, with a forgettable 4-year stint in Northern Virginia. There were orange groves when I first got here, at the end of Jamboree in Tustin. Also strawberry fields in Santa Ana and Irvine. Gone now. But there’s nothing like a few years in Virginia to make you appreciate Orange County. Even Irvine is just fine with me.

    WhoamItoday, isn’t it always the way? Just when you’re packing to move away, you realize good stuff about the place you’re leaving. You will be a great CC rep in “The” UK.

    126 – Kate, I am laughing WITH you, not AT you. I’ve had to pull string and Christmas tinsel out of my cat’s butt, and much panicky howling ensued.

    Okay, it’s raining here in Charterstone, the pool party was canceled, and we’re all just waiting for Dr. Jeff’s plane to land at John Wayne airport. You’re all invited to the combination welcome home party/intervention. BYOB: we need lots of our old friend Johnny.

  213. rich
    February 19th, 2007 at 1:53 am [Reply]

    99: Gene Landy may have ripped off and taken advantage of Brian Wilson, but one great thing came out of their partnership — the 1988 comeback album, “Brian Wilson.”

    I love “Smile” — in its various official and unofficial releases — but I’ve always thought this was an immensely rewarding album.

    I can’t remember what that has to do with comics.

    120: Squid Countess: Thanks for the reminder on the nanny story in Rex Morgan. I had a vague recollection of it the other day when Rex was doing his Shocked Rex face at the news that the receptionist was getting married this week. (Why is Rex always so out of the loop?)

    158, Coffeeclash: COTW runner-up!

    159: I’m with you, Gadge … bell hooks, that dog, kd lang … why would they choose to have their names disappear into columns of type? (And don’t get me started on “moe.” or India-dot-Arie.)

    163: : )

    170: Have you considered that maybe Chennux IS Dingo? (…funny how Clark Kent always takes a vacation around the same time Superman is off on an intergalactic adventure…)

  214. Happy Happenstance
    February 19th, 2007 at 2:25 am [Reply]

    #213 — Rich, you may be on to something. Except that I remember a few weeks ago willethompson exposed himself briefly as Chennux. But, wait! Maybe Dingo is Chennux, because Dingo is willethompson. Now that I think about it, how do I know that you’re not willethompson, aka Chennux, aka Dingo? Hmm?

  215. Happy Happenstance
    February 19th, 2007 at 2:31 am [Reply]

    P.S. If that “exposed himself briefly” comment doesn’t flush willethompson out from hiding, I don’t know what will.

  216. rich
    February 19th, 2007 at 2:36 am [Reply]

    Maybe we’re all just a dream that Mike Patterson is having.

  217. Dactyl
    February 19th, 2007 at 2:48 am [Reply]

    MW: I hate to say it, but what happened to the adorable old lady and the angry cheater in Mary’s building? Could Mary really not solve their problems without going all the way to Vietnam just to kidnap – er, resuce – her platitude-exchanging-partner? And after all that, her platitude of the day is essentially “why yes, we are the same species!” I can’t belive how racist that is – it’s as if she’s been reading Marvin and believing it.

    On the good news side, it looks like the bad guy in Mark Trail is going to get down to business without subjecting us to a week’s worth of fishing banter first. Mark, why do you let men with facial hair into your life, when you know they’ll only drug your dog and break your heart?

  218. TB Tabby
    February 19th, 2007 at 3:35 am [Reply]

    AppleGirl: Sounds like fun. I’ll be sure to bring my own bombs. We’ll be seeing fireworks tonight.

  219. Gatormom
    February 19th, 2007 at 3:43 am [Reply]

    FOOB: Michael is going to resign. Who called it the other day?
    It’s such a stupid letdown. Hope the wife smacks him good.

  220. lindanne
    February 19th, 2007 at 4:03 am [Reply]

    Actually Tuan Jim #55 – there is also an Orange County right here in sunny Florida!

  221. lynngineering
    February 19th, 2007 at 4:15 am [Reply]

    FOOB: C-O-M-A- dream… of course now valiant Michael must resign. This wasn’t hard to predict, as he is reenacting the first time around, closing the circle.

    First he went with WEED back to his house, now he goes back to his work, and each time he sees things different, as he wants to believe.
    The house = just a money-machine, not a home.
    The work = profit only, not people.

    Michael needs to keep seeing this in that way. He is saint-like Patterson.
    Tell me this ain’t his dream still…

  222. Jym Dyer
    February 19th, 2007 at 4:28 am [Reply]

    =144= Trend-media claims aside, 60s hippies did not become yuppies, because Y.U.P. means young urban professionals, and hippies were no longer so young in the 80s. Another trend-media claim was that the new yuppie generation were, har har, rebelling against their hippie parents by, nyuk nyuk, selling out. These two claims totally contradict each other, but hey …

    =182= Sunday Judge Parker can be found via the Seattle Post-Intelligencer.

    =185= When you’re in Nebraska, south isn’t your gateway to a change of scenery. North isn’t all that different, either. It’s all former ocean bed; you need to change your longitude to change your, um, ongitude.

  223. benro
    February 19th, 2007 at 4:50 am [Reply]

    There’s also an Orange County in North Carolina, where Chapel Hill (location of my Alma Mater, University of North Carolina) is. To my knowledge, they have never grown oranges there.

  224. Coffeeclash
    February 19th, 2007 at 6:17 am [Reply]

    A3G – “Luann, what’s going on? Who are you talking to? Is it Eric, and did he say anything about me?”

    (DT)GT – The Milford rumor mill grinds into action, leaving a trail of bletches all over innocent cyborgs.

    MT – Elrod has really positioned himself in today’s strip. I wonder if Andy will sniff him out.

  225. John C Fremont
    February 19th, 2007 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    Well, I know there’ll be a new thread this morning, so let’s see what’s – Huh?! We’re still here?!

    Seriously, from Conan O’Brien – Nebraska; Iowa style at Kansas prices. Now there’s your humor.

    JP – Sam says “How long does she have?” but what he’s really thinking is “There’s lint on this Pop Tart.”

    MW – Hey, Mary’s having a heart attack in the first panel. Hurray!!

    Foob – (sigh) I’m not even going to bother.

    I’ve got the coffee on, Fogeyette.

  226. Old Fogeyette
    February 19th, 2007 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    Good grief! Can’t I leave you guys for a few hours without the whole place disintegrating into random babble?

    Anyway, I’m up now, though still haven’t read any comics or had my coffee. Wihtout coffee, I can’t remember if my powers work before coffee. But if ever a thread needed ending, it’s this one! I’ll go make some coffee and be back soon.

  227. Tweeks_Coffee
    February 19th, 2007 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    GT – Good lord! Have you seen the mullet that one “girl” is sporting in all 3 panels!? It’s like a bad version of Billy Ray Cyrus’s ‘do!

  228. Sheilagh
    February 19th, 2007 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    Ooh, that Michael. His boss says “downsize the staff,” and Michael says “Yes boss” and then decides to resign rather than do it. Hey Mike — if you’re going to resign over it ANYWAY, why don’t you ARGUE with the boss? Like, fight for your staff’s jobs? What’s the worst that can happen, you’ll get fired? But you were gonna resign ANYWAY…

    Oh, never mind. Michael doesn’t act like a real person because he’s a stuffed toy with an ego. Sheesh.

  229. Galactic Emperor Chennux
    February 19th, 2007 at 8:42 am [Reply]




  230. stinky pete
    February 19th, 2007 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    229 G.E.C.; who knew the Emp was a Dylan fan?

  231. The Avocado Avenger
    February 19th, 2007 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    FOOB: I don’t think Michael is good at math. Surely he doesn’t think he can live on $25,000 Canadian (US$14.99)? Whatever the reason for the oh-so-noble resignation, I hope this segues into some serious domestic violence, with Michael as the recipient.

    I’m sure it’s just part of the set-up for Michael’s new life. Who else suspects the new strip is going to be about Michael as a writer, who makes tons of money while writing about his family in heart-warming best-sellers? That would explain the strip re-using old panels (presuming that’s true, I haven’t delved too far into what FOOB will be like after the aging stops).

  232. Calico
    February 19th, 2007 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    231 – Sounds as if FOOB is becoming like the finale of “Newhart” on acid.

  233. Old Fogeyette
    February 19th, 2007 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    Well, I still haven’t had coffee (Mr. Fogeyette likes me to have it with him, and he’s still asleep), so I guess I can’t end the thread yet. However, it is good to hear from Chennux, even though I was not supposed to eavesdrop on his message to Poteet.

    MT: I don’t believe there is any part of the US without coyotes, so no matter where LoFo is located, drugging Andy makes him into a potential coyote snack. I must admit I can’t guess what the nefarious Dan is up to that he will leave the country after doing. Sounds sort of terrorist-y to me. Anyone have any ideas?

    RMMD: Who, oh who, is going to save the idyllic little family from Elvis? Who, oh who cares?

    JP: I didn’t look as good as Abby even when I was young and beautiful.

    A3G: This strip is really pissing me off. There’s no way now that ghost can be anything but a ghost. If I want my intelligence insulted, I’ll watch tv. I expect much better than this from the comics.

  234. John C Fremont
    February 19th, 2007 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    I never thought I’d say this, but – Hey, everybody! Chennux is back!

  235. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 19th, 2007 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    MW: Mary has the nicest way of saying “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

    DT: “I’m Lt Teevo. Commissioner Eipod assigned me. Think we’ll work well together.” (BTW, this one seems to join Mallard Fillmore in working in a Reagan cameo.)

    JP: Frosted Pop Tarts, and the worst product placement ever.

    DtM: I honestly have no idea how he thought that would work.

    FW: “‘Coz we both know what ‘Little Wally’ is, aight?”

  236. TB Tabby
    February 19th, 2007 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    229: I don’t wanna know what led to Katrina.

  237. IdolsofMud
    February 19th, 2007 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    FOOB: “No, Francine, I’m going to resign. The publisher will hire someone in my place, who will fire all of you regardless. See, even though I pretend I care, I’m not actually arguing with my boss to save your jobs, which could lessen the damage. I prefer to pick up my novel and go home, washing my hands of all responsibility for you non-Patterson proles. Maybe you should write a novel, Francine — selling it for $25,000 is surprisingly easy. And if you want me to show genuine concern for you, take my erratic, selfish sister on a date.”

  238. miraclemet
    February 19th, 2007 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    TDIET: Anyone notice that in TDIET-land all of the secretaries look the same? Or does this sexual harassment go so far that he has hired triplets to fulfill some weird fetish?

  239. stinky pete
    February 19th, 2007 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    RMMD, the curious incident of the dog in the night-time, from “Silver Blaze” by A.C. Doyle (non-gappy initials, SQB!)

    “Is there any point to which you would wish to draw my attention?”
    “To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time.”
    “The dog did nothing in the night-time.”
    “That was the curious incident,” remarked Sherlock Holmes.

    Oh, wait, Abbey is actually barking her head off. So Rex is an idiot, then.

  240. Klipper
    February 19th, 2007 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    Ok, this is fucking disgusting!

  241. Klipper
    February 19th, 2007 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    I like the way the sharp, greasy hairs get stuck in my teeth and scratch my throat when I swallow. You know dad, like when you let me me and Ruff eat p-nut butter from your pants. We haven’t done that in so long … I miss you daddy.”

  242. Calico
    February 19th, 2007 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    #241 – Hahahahaha! Absolutely disgusting.

    Dennis surprisingly did not electrocute himself in his quest for edible clippings.

  243. Dan
    February 19th, 2007 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    I’m a bit concerned that no one else seems to be alarmed by the TDIET phrase “the office loveable glad, but like we mean glad, tider.” This butchery of the English language must not go unpunished!

  244. Chupper
    February 19th, 2007 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    A google search for “glad tider” gets only 42 hits, predominantly shared between pages quoting a single review for a book subtitled “The Fight over Forests & the Myths of Nature” and a bunch of websites in Swedish. This forum page is first in the results though, followed by a page apparently discussing historical Islamic occult beliefs.

    Clearly Scaduto is a Swedish Islamic fundamentalist with a passion for nature who just happens to make his living with poorly rendered comics.

  245. Frank Drackman
    February 19th, 2007 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    #240umm isn’t that where eggs come from? Its not like its a turd or something..its the complete food don’t you know.

  246. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    February 19th, 2007 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    J’ever pause to think that when we eat (unfertilized) chicken eggs for breakfast, we’re essentially consuming chicken menstruum?

    (That is, female chickens lay eggs at regular intervals, regardless of what their social lives have been like lately, and if they haven’t gotten jiggy with a rooster recently, then there are no chicken embryos in the eggs that come out.)

    Now THAT’S plugger sex education.

  247. Anonymous
    February 19th, 2007 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    Rich and Happy (something I wish I was): Dingo is not Chennux nor is Dingo willethompson. Each has a distinct style of writing you should be able to discern and that style for w.e.t. and Chinnux is similar but it doesn’t match Dingo.

    Maybe he went back to lurker status because of this.

  248. Red Greenback
    February 19th, 2007 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    Sooo…MonkeyHawk ate our Dingo?

  249. klipper
    February 19th, 2007 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    #245 – That’s sort of where eggs come from. I don’t believe they’re necessarily squozen out by human hand. I imagine significant carnage (ripping, tearing and blood) associated with manually extracting the premature egg.

  250. Little Guy
    February 19th, 2007 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    Dennis: at least we don’t have him talking about “Telebision/Television”.

    FOOB: Why does LJ hate Toronto? Was a former lover a Maple Leafs fan?

  251. Dark Star
    February 19th, 2007 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    If you look carfully, Neddy’s hand is going up and down, indicating she was giving hand jobs last night and is now regreting her decision to swallow.

  252. SmartPeopleOnIce
    February 19th, 2007 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    #248 (RG) I believe Dingo would want someone to post the following reply to your post:


    PS: Where the heck is Dingo anyway?

  253. Herb the Verb
    February 19th, 2007 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    “That’s right Dennis, haven’t you wondered what happened to Mr. Wilson? He ate veg-tables, his skull elongated, he grew a tail and swelled up bigger than a bus before all his flesh fell off from his bleached white bones. Oh, gee Dennis, I’m sorry, I thought you knew….”

    Then Dennis died of scurvy.

  254. Herb the Verb
    February 19th, 2007 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    Hey Helgar,

    Maybe if you pulled the dining room table out of the arched hallway next the front door you might get a little love and respect.

    Don’t gotta…..

    I’m just sayin’…..

  255. Omnywrench
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Why does every single character in TDIET look like they’re 50 years old, even the little kids? That child in the blue cap looks like my uncle.

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