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Spider-Man, 10/25/06

In a total violation of everything this strip stands for, Spider-Man has forced its dozens of readers to endure nineteen grueling days of exciting superhero-vs.-supervillain hand-to-hand combat. Fortunately, a good portion of this period was taken up by J. Jonah Jameson’s failed attempt to remove a camera lens cap. Today, at last, our long national nightmare is over, and we can get back to the feature’s bread and butter: toothless media satire, lame LA spoofery, and zany, vaguely homoerotic reaction shots from ol’ Flattop Hitler.

For Better Or For Worse, 10/25/06

Meanwhile, the Foobs return to the least harrowing of their ongoing storylines, as 4Evah and Eva try to simultaneously make their mark in the unforgiving novelty single market and demonstrate their total commitment to expunging the d sound from the end of and in Canadian English by the year 2020. While I commend Gerald’s passion, I question his marketing savvy, as he seems to believe that a 21st century Halloween song needs to be approached with the sort of deadly earnestness normally associated with Norwegian death metal, when clearly some kind of ironic distance is in order. Still, he doesn’t really deserve the tongue-lashing he gets in panel four. I can’t decide whether Eva is such a mega-diva that she can’t conceive of not speaking into her microphone so as to be heard by her many fans, or if she’s just trying to blow Gerald’s eardrums out completely so he’ll flee to an audiologist and leave the rest of them alone.

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Mark Trail, 10/24/06

Normally I would go into some sort of liberal namby-pamby crap here about how the Mark Trail isn’t going to let no goddamned fourth amendment stop him from handing out left hooks and right crosses of justice, what with him being the King of LoFo and not needin’ no warrants and all, but then I realized that MOLLY IS IN DANGER and these guys are freakin’ NAMED JAKE AND SNAKE FOR GOD’S SAKES so let’s just GET ON WITH THIS ALREADY.

Cathy, 10/24/06

I break my usual contemptuous silence on the subject of Cathy in order to point out that there’s a carrot in Mr. What’s-His-Name’s word balloon in the second panel today. Yeah, you heard me. A carrot. A frickin’ carrot. What. The. Hell.

Get Fuzzy, 10/24/06

I’m really pretty sure that this is the first Holocaust collaboration joke in the history of the comics.

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Apartment 3-G, 10/23/06

Boy, Tommie sure is looking smug for someone who just yesterday was wandering the streets of New York aimless, confused, and unloved. Based on their unusual prominence in the third panel, I’d say those keys are the key to Tommie’s brand new attitude. Maybe they’re the keys that Alan left behind and she’s started going to Lu Ann’s creepy possessed studio, figuring that dream lovers are better than no lovers at all. Maybe she’s just returned from a swinging key party. Maybe she’s got Ted’s dismembered corpse locked up in a storage unit in Jersey City somewhere. Or maybe she’s decided that the hipster New York existence isn’t working for her and now she’s become a plugger.

Mary Worth, 10/23/06

Yes, Mary is making the universal “Call Me” gesture with her right hand. Yes, this is as angry as we’ve seen her since the capisce incident of this past August. Yes, Dr. Jeff had better call home soon … or not at all.

Pluggers, 10/23/06

Some pluggers need two labels to identify an object in a cartoon.