Beetle Bailey, 3/5/09
Our soldiers are refusing to take performance-enhancing drugs, like steroids, because they prefer non-performance-enhancing drugs, like heroin.
Dagwood’s transformation into a Howard Hughes-style, urine-jar-storing shut-in begins today.
Dennis the Menace, 3/5/09
“Plus you keep downloading viruses from all those porn sites.”
(Possibly more menacing alternative: “Plus I keep downloading viruses from all those porn sites.”)
Family Circus, 3/5/09
Jeffy finds himself encrusted with filth with such depressing regularity that he has established some sort of rating system for it.
Hi and Lois, 3/5/09
Hi and Lois is attempting to match Ziggy’s patented brand of second-rate empty-background existentialist absurdism — and, sadly, coming up fairly short.