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Apartment 3-G, 6/29/10

Wait, Ari was in the army? You’d think that his megaphone-wielding drill sergeant would have instilled enough discipline in him that he wouldn’t have become a pills-for-sex peddler in his old age. My guess is that his army service was actually a cover for his CIA work, and that the Company had him conducting MK-ULTRA mind control experiments. Ari’s involvement in that program would explain why all of those experiments failed.

Family Circus, 6/29/10

Jeffy, why do you hate America? Billy will beat some patriotism into you, in 3/4 time.

Mary Worth, 6/29/10

“Yeah, I don’t care how awkward that segue was. I am not talking about Mary fucking Worth on this date.”

Archie, 6/29/10

Jughead is breaking off his affair with Archie, because Archie is terrible in bed.