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Mary Worth, 1/3/11

Many longtime Mary Worth readers have been grumbling throughout this undeniably awesome Jill-themed storyline about the absence of Drew, Adrian’s brother, who tried unsuccessfully to date two boring women simultaneously and then was shipped off to Vietnam to help the needy, as punishment. Well, today we learn that he isn’t the type of brother who would just skip his sister’s wedding; he’s the type of his brother who would schedule his flight home for the last possible moment so that he “accidentally” misses the ceremony. Stay classy, Dr. Drew!

Actually, based on his twisted visage in panel two, Drew may have been staying away from the wedding in hopes that he would have recovered from his botched facelift by the time he had to pose for family pictures. It’s also possible that Mary got wind that fellow crone Aunt May had an army of nightmare fiends at her wedding and was determined to come up with at least one terrifying face for Adrian’s to keep pace.

Apartment 3-G, 1/3/11

I hope nobody was planning on coming up with 2011’s catchphrase of the year. I know we’re only three days in and all, but I’m pretty sure you’re not going to top “too fancy for Hoboken and too hot for church.”

Gasoline Alley, 1/3/11

Gasoline Alley, in a doomed attempt to win the attention of the foul-mouthed, vice-happy youth of today, has introduced its latest character: a swearing, smoking baby.