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Luann, 11/10/11

GOD DAMN IT DO I REALLY HAVE TO TALK ABOUT LUANN? FINE. So, here’s a thing I noticed about Luann: Check out how broad-shouldered and grim-faced and bad-ass Brad is looking in panel one there. Does it remind you of anything? Like, maybe the strip from last week where Toni strode off in triumph from WeenieWorld, after having physically threatened Brad’s boss?

Even the jacket is more or less the same! This probably means that “Brad” and “Toni” are actually two different aspects of the same individual’s personality. The question is, who’s the real one and who’s the delusion? I’m certainly hoping Toni is the projection, because really, who would want to make up Brad, even in their subconscious, gross.

Seeing that panel from last week in isolation also makes me realize that Anne is moonlighting at the mall as one of Santa’s elves, which means that her erratic behavior may be a result of stress brought on by overwork.

Hi and Lois, 11/10/11

Not wanting to know about the contents of your hot dog is actually a pretty good policy. Don’t worry, kids, there’s not much nutritive difference between “cow anus” and “turkey cloaca.” And turkey dogs are still chock-full of the delicious nitrates you love!

Apartment 3-G, 11/10/11

Ha ha, Lu Ann, Paul has already seen the wedding dress, since it was worn by his mother and all his sisters and sisters-in-law for every Linsky Compound wedding ever! It is probably all moldy and disgusting, like this one, but wearing it is an inviolable Tradition, just like the ceremonial head-shaving/lobotomy during the reception.

Spider-Man, 11/10/11

“Yup, I knew! But I still passed out and let myself be chained up anyway. Actually succeeding at something … it just didn’t feel like me, you know?”