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Archie, 3/7/13

Here’s a sentence that’s probably never been written: I don’t understand Archie’s emotional arc here? Veronica’s dialogue in panel one is stereotypical “Ha ha the ladies like to gossip about their network of relationships with other ladies and we hate that amiright fellas” talk. But what are Archie’s sweatballs in panel one supposed to represent? Is he already nervous about being cruelly snubbed by Ronnie for daring to ask for some quiet study time? That would seem to undercut the vague surprise of the punchline, then. Is it sexual arousal, always a good bet with Archie? Is he saying that the reality of Veronica’s conversation is interfering with his ability to think sexy thoughts about her? Those word-balloon icicles are perhaps well deserved.

Hagar the Horrible, 3/7/13

So, mild historical accuracy: It’s true, that, in their colonization of Greenland in the 10th through 15th centuries, the Norse came in contact with the Inuit! Inuit names tend to be polysyllabic, though, and not, you know, incoherent grunts, but sure, let’s have Hagar talking to “Oog.” And let’s give Oog slits for eyes too! Why not!

Heathcliff, 3/7/13

Unironic praise: Nearly everything about this is perfect, from the fish-costume’s terrifying eyes and weird fin-feet that would be very difficult to stand up in, to Heathcliff just standing there with his hands behind his back, dreaming of ripping open the great fish and feasting on its hundreds of pounds of succulent flesh, to the bored dude with the hair in his eyes inside the costume, who isn’t being paid enough to deal with any of it.

The Lockhorns, 3/7/13

“But I’ve finally managed to poison mine! Now help me move his body to the car so we can go dump him in the river.”