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Mary Worth, 5/14/14

I’m not going to claim that Iris and Tommy’s dialogue in panel one consists of the greatest twenty-word sequence in the history of English prose, but let’s just say that it’s my current favorite, OK? I hereby order anyone who lives in Atlanta, New York, Houston, Phoenix, or any other city with a Midtown and who is talking about a restaurant in said neighborhood to say, airily, “you know, the eatery down in Midtown?” Will one of your friends respond with “Yeah, I know of it”? That all depends on whether you hang out with hardened meth-dealing ex-cons whose native tongue is the language of the streets, I guess!

This is, quite obviously, the beginning of the promised Redemption of Tommy, and I have to admit that I’m charmed by how extremely chill he’s being about it. “Enh, maybe that lady was right and I can expiate my past sins by finding a job. Hey, does this Jerry guy want to give me a job? Can’t hurt to find out, I guess.”

Dennis the Menace, 5/14/14

OK, let’s ignore the dumb wordplay and just acknowledge that Dennis is maintaining eye contact with his mother while dumping the meal she made for him directly into the trash. Would it be more menacing if he were saying “This is garbage, just like all the other garbage I have to put up with in your garbage house”? Yes, but let’s not let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

Family Circus, 5/14/14

Oh, man, PJ is just delightfully smug in this panel. “That’s right, Dolly, you wallow in nostalgia all you want. Your day is done. I’m youth! This is PJ’s time now!