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Six Chix, 5/13/14

Good morning, reader! Do you hate yourself? Like, really hate yourself, not because of anything in particular that you do or say or think or feel, not even because of some specific inborn quality or trait; no, I mean, do you hate your very nature, your essence, the core qualities that make you you and can never be changed? Ha ha, you and a bunch of other people, probably! Anyway, it’s spring, the weather’s nice, cheer up.

Funky Winkerbean, 5/13/14

Funky vs. the treadmill, day two: Funky has suffered some kind of cardiac or ischemic event and passed out on the treadmill, probably spraining his knee and/or breaking his nose as he collapsed. Ha ha, let’s just say he “fell asleep,” though!

Luann, 5/13/14

Oh, wow, will Luann spend the months between now and the advent of Luann: The College Years exploring the broken souls the title character leaves in her wake? Will this strip be going Full Winkerbean? Will all of July be dedicated to Gunther’s horrifying inner life? PLEASE LET THE ANSWERS TO ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS BE YES

Heathcliff, 5/13/14

Ha ha, Heathcliff is lurking around a flower shop in a bee costume because … of pollination, I guess? Heathcliff is planning to fuck those flowers, is what I’m saying.