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Dennis the Menace, 8/3/15

You know, my usual schtick with Dennis the Menace is to reinterpret innocent kid whimsy as something more adult and unsettling and slap a “menacing rating” on it, but, you know what? Today the strip’s doing it for me. Dennis has learned that if he preys on other people’s vanities and insecurities, he can get things from them. And from his facial expression, he’s not conflicted about this at all. It’s great! It’s also extremely menacing. He’s a straight up sociopath!

Crankshaft, 8/3/15

Meanwhile, today’s Crankshaft has decided to bypass a punchline more or less entirely and just go for straight up ennui. Ha ha, it’s funny because Lilian (or is it Lucy, I can’t keep them straight) uses a turn of phrase the girls don’t understand, and they just stare at her blankly, a widening gulf between them mocking everybody’s attempt to have a single moment of human connection!

Apartment 3-G, 8/3/15

I always assume that Margo is terrible at all the aspirational creative service industry jobs she tackles — publicist, art gallery owner, etc. — but being a wedding planner seems like the one that would be least up her alley. After all, weddings involve human affection, which is anathema to her. Just look at these panels! She makes a start at figuring out how she can help her parents finally establish the permanent partnership that has eluded them all their lives, but by panel two all she’s thinking is REVENGE REVENGE REVENGE

Funky Winkerbean, 8/3/15

Yes! Crazy Harry has brought an advanced piece of 21st century technology back to his high school days! The timestream’s going to be totally disrupted! The sadness-spiral Funkyverse we all know and loathe will never have existed.