Mary Worth, 9/7/15
You guys. You guys. When I predicted this yesterday, I was kidding. Kidding. I mean, surely Toby wouldn’t dramatically tell Ian “do not try to look for me” and then lay low in literally the same building. Surely she has some friends other than Mary. Maybe we’ve never seen her interacting with them, but surely she had them. Some people she knows from the local art scene? Her old friends back in New York? Turns out nope! Turns out Mary’s all she’s got. This whole thing’s going to be fantastic. Anyway, since I can apparently control the course of this plot with my barely plausible predictions, here’s my next prediction: Toby will very quickly drive Mary up the wall by letting her filthy, filthy human skin touch all the surfaces in Mary’s apartment, her pure, beautiful, disinfected surfaces.
Ha ha, get it? Because megabytes are some kind of thing that’s inside a computer, and it sounds like you’re taking a MEGA (big) BITE (of food)? And Dagwood is a terrible compulsive eater, so he likes biting food? The saddest thing about this joke is that I’m pretty sure the Blondie Inc. Creative Brain Trust came up with it, like, ten years ago, and only now feel confident that their readership will really “get it,” and even then had Dagwood and Alexander say “megabyte” to each other four times, just to be sure.
Don’t worry, this turtle’s shell isn’t a twisted, unnatural attempt to mimic secondary mammalian sexual characteristics. She’s just deformed because she was born in a pile of garbage!
Funky Winkerbean, 9/7/15
THE DAY IS HERE
THE DAY WHEN THE LIVING FINALLY OVERTHROW THE TYRANNY OF THE DEAD