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Six Chix, 5/1/17

The fairies prepare to feast on the bodies of their mortal sisters. Their eyes gleam with hunger, though they hide their savage teeth. They number six in all: could this brood be the Chix themselves? Pray we never learn, nor how the cheese got pink.

Mary Worth, 5/1/17

Mary:  “Wait, Haiti? Don’t you mean ‘grinding poverty, desperate refugees, crime, AIDS, and cholera?’”
Toby:  “No, no, no — it says right here: ‘isolated peninsula, razor-wire fencing, vendor controls, travel restrictions, and an armed private security force.’”
Mary:  “Whew, dodged that bullet! Let’s go zip-lining!”
Toby:  “Then on to Venezuela!”

Pluggers, 5/1/17

“Our marriage is an abomination, I’m having an affair with the rhinoceros, and get the hell out of my bathroom.”

Pluggers are hard of hearing and delusional.

Sally Forth, 5/1/17

I’m going to spend mine reading Sally Forth. Make some room on that couch.

–Uncle Lumpy