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Mary Worth, 3/12/18

So, uh, yep, it looks like we really are moving on from Mary’s muffins vs. Ted the sex creep to … Dawn’s own weird inappropriate not-relationship with some dude! You will of course remember Harlan as Dawn’s substitue art history prof, who invited her to a one-on-one yoga session at his apartment but they definitely weren’t having sex, despite all the prying questions from Wilbur and Dawn’s mean friends. Sure, sometimes they get all dressed up and go dancing, and now he’s going to take her to Europe, where the art is even more erotic than it is in America, but they’re just friends, OK? I mean, obviously Dawn wants to give Italy another go, since last time she had just gotten dumped so all she could think about was her ex’s dick, and then she almost drowned. Let her live a little, Wilbur!

The Phantom, 3/11/18

Speaking of art, our hero in The Phantom is visiting his daughter at her fancy New York boarding school and the whole family is visiting the Met, and shoutout to the artist for reproducing this room with uncanny accuracy (the Portrait of Madame X was the tip-off for me). Anyway, the Ghost Who Takes In Some Culture While He’s In Town is mad because his daughter’s best friend is the daughter of his current archnemesis, the murderous Nomad, and, yeah, it’s a good question of how Heloise is going to feel about it, but how’s Kadia going to feel about it? Her best friend’s dad is a jungle-dwelling fraud who keeps the natives of southeast Africa in terror of his legend, all the while hoarding wealth and local cultural riches! Actually, never mind, that sounds exactly like what you’d expect from the parents of your friends at a fancy boarding school.