Hello, everyone, I have returned to my comics mocking duties! Everyone who gave to the summer fundraiser will be getting a personal thank you note, but I want to send everyone a huge public thank-you now, and also send a huge thanks to the always amazing Uncle Lumpy (and his pal Turtle Carl) for filling in for me on the site!
Mary Worth, 9/7/21
Big Mary Worth news always seems to happen in my absence. In this case, it was Wilbur getting dumped, which was almost as emotionally violent as the big gangland shootout I missed back in 2009. As usual, I’m just left with the hilarious aftermath, which in this case is Wilbur “lamenting” his situation, if strutting angrily around the perfectly manicured Santa Royale grounds with clenched fists absolutely seething about how his girlfriend dumped him just because he was an asshole counts as a “lament.”
Dick Tracy, 9/7/21
In Dick Tracy, meanwhile, we have a couple new masked playing card themed villains to deal with, and frankly I think keeping their masks on while just hanging around their lair/office shooting the shit may be overcommitting to the bit somewhat, unless Diet Smith’s Time Drone really can spy on anyone, anywhere, in which case they’re the first people to catch on to the new reality where we’re all going to be wearing ski masks all the time now.
I had to go back to the strips from my vacation to make sure there wasn’t a Marvin plot where Jenny got pregnant or something, but no, there’s no real context for this strip, in which Jeff and Jenny are lying in bed staring at the ceiling in horror at the thought that another hell-child might someday join the hell-child they currently have. So I assume that we’re seeing the moment just after they almost gave into their lustful marital urges but resisted at the last minute because the prospect of creating a Marvin-sibling, despite what I assume are multiple medical interventions to prevent such an accursed outcome, once again snuffed their arousal out.