At last, someone is finally joining their father and embracing the power of the Dark Side
Post Content
Mary Worth, 8/1/22
Oh hell yes, while Jared is off getting weaksauce advice from Mary, Dawn has decided to instead turn to the #1 relationship expert in her life: her father, a guy who alienated every single woman he knows by letting them mourn his death while he partied on a private island. It’s great she’s pumping him full of her patented superspicy chili first, as Wilbur’s emotional intelligence really hits its peak when he’s ripping a bunch of nasty farts.
Beetle Bailey, 8/1/22
Beetle Bailey characters usually aren’t what I’d call “expressive” but I do actually enjoy Sarge’s face here in the second panel. “Hmm,” he thinks, “that is an unusually large amount of sweat. Could be from some kind of medical condition. Maybe they should get that checked out!”
Daddy Daze, 8/1/22
The overarching theme of Daddy Daze is, of course, that the Daddy Daze daddy is constantly on the verge of unravelling mentally, but it’s important to keep in mind that he’s in constant physical pain as well.
224 replies to “At last, someone is finally joining their father and embracing the power of the Dark Side”
Jared might not have deserved Dawn as a girlfriend, but he sure deserved Wilbur as father-in-law
Ah yes, rakes for raking leaves! That’s the tool I associate with working during the peak of summer!
Family Circus: Now for the Annual “Figure Out When This Strip Was Originally Drawn” storyline. Based on the lack of wheels on luggage and the ultramodern tri-jet in the window, 1972.
The soap strips were a little uninteresting today. Do you like either of the 2 linked mashups?
“Have you tried getting drunk and serenading him outside his window?”
Daddy Daze’s relationship with Mommy Daze seems cordial, but he subtly communicates to his son that if his mom would be paralyzed, it would be none of his business!
@Baja Gaijin:
Ha haaa! No. 2 all day!
FC: Sure it’s an old drawing but even today’s TSA would understand why Bil needs a weekender bag filled with booze to get through a week stuck in a hotel room with this crew.
Fun with “Daddy Daze” — trying to figure out what the crudely-drawn background squiggles are supposed to be. My guess — a fighter jet is just about to bomb a house that’s looking understandably nervous.
I bet Wilbur’s advice is “Fake your own death. Works every time.” Or maybe he’ll talk about how Jared is a work in progress, a diamond in the rough.
JP: . . . Neither of which involves a lick of work.
CS: Hey, Max, twenty years ago called. They said keep the chin beard. Nobody else wants it.
FW: Funky wants to leave a mess. It’s his one last chance to be an asshole.
RwO: That’s pretty funny! Slightly sick, but pretty funny.
@Baja Gaijin:
” Family Circus: Now for the Annual “Figure Out When This Strip Was Originally Drawn” storyline. Based on the lack of wheels on luggage and the ultramodern tri-jet in the window, 1972.”
The plane could be a Boeing 727, which was introduced in 1958, so it could be in the 60s, but the clothes look more like 1972 to me.
MW: Two-Way Weston Chili: salad on top of chili, eaten with a spoon. Everyone in Cincinnati is jealous.
9CL: If my life depended on saying something complimentary about Amos, the nicest thing I can come up with is that he looks like a half-witted duck.
S4th: It’s disturbing that Hil’s hallucinations have been stretching for days, now.
Luann: Dad should have realized long ago that he’d have to pay someone to have the sense to oversee his mansion.
FW: No one in the Funkyverse needs estate planning; the deceased can be yanked back from the afterlife at any time to solve the problems of their moronic survivors.
MW: Watching Wilbur forego the handle and hold his spoon down by the neck next to its bowl while he eats messy chili, I now realize why he’s usually shown eating finger food.
DtM: It would really reinforce the joke if he were sitting on the white picket fence that usually separates their properties.
The Keane Krewe is off to New York City for cheesesteaks at the Rocky statue!
MW: Some excellent suggestions for what Wilbur’s advice will be have already been offered. Here’s one more: ”Stalk him. Spy on his every moment and find out who your rival is. Then do a karaoke duel with them.”
@MKay:
” 9CL: If my life depended on saying something complimentary about Amos, the nicest thing I can come up with is that he looks like a half-witted duck.”
That is much nicer than anything I could come up with.
Daddy Daze : So, Paul is able to lift his son single-handed with his oversized hands no problem, but if Angus is in a backpack, suddenly he’s too heavy for Daddy to bear and his spine is slowly being destroyed?
********
Hi & Lois : yesterday : “Let’s throw a big outdoor feast to celebrate how much of a loving family we are through eating plenty of good food!”
today : “You kids are gluttonous pigs with no table manners and we are deeply ashamed of you.”
…Yeah, today is the more typical “anti-joy” stance I associate with Hi & Lois
********
Mary Worth : …what the over/under of Wilbur somehow giving BETTER advice than Mary?
********
Pluggers : consider any fast food that’s not-as-processed as usual (ie, burgers you can see the actual vegetables in and the like) to be “health food”, or at least healthier than what they usually eat.
********
Phoebe and Unicorn : aw, man, I had hoped that there would be robot DOUBLES (as in, Phoebe also had a duplicate), and that they would actually be impossible to distinguish from the real thing, and that it would eventually be revealed that the Phoebe and Marigold we had been following for the last couple of weeks had in fact been the robot duplicates (it’s why Marigold started freaking out over it, “I should probably tell you about the Secret Unicorn Robot Duplicates BEFORE you are confronted by the REAL you”)
Fucky Wankmybean – Correct me if I’m wrong, but wouldn’t a couple need a certain amount of money to do estate planning? Isn’t that done to shield your heirs from estate taxes? I’ve gotten the impression that the Wankmybeans are getting by, but not much more, from selling greasy pizza.
BB: Why the rakes? It’s the middle of summer and they’re in a concrete yard, so I assume they aren’t actually raking anything up. Is Sarge forcing them to fight a vicious no-holds-barred death match? Are we going to learn where “Killer” got his nickname?
@Anonymous:
” Daddy Daze : So, Paul is able to lift his son single-handed with his oversized hands no problem, but if Angus is in a backpack, suddenly he’s too heavy for Daddy to bear and his spine is slowly being destroyed?”
Well, he’s not just carrying Angus in that backpack. His stash of drugs is there as well. Why did you think he sees the world as a grotesque sketch and carries on long, philosophical discussions with a pre-verbal infant?
Family Circlejerk Guess-the-Year Contest: The fact that the guy trailing the Keanes has a stogie protruding from his mouth would indicate this is at least 20 years old.
Gil: Does Gil realize that’s his wallet, not his flip phone, with the picture of his now-estranged family? I’d say it might be best if he didn’t flash that picture to Beth the Bartender, although she doesn’t seem to care; she’s ready to get Thorped regardless of the circumstances.
Wilbur will avoid giving aid beyond “Why don’t you ask a professional, or an advice columnist? I hear Ask Wendy is pretty good.”
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
On if Funky Winkerbean is rich or poor : whenever we’ve been shown his house, it’s a giant mansion. He had that storyline where he got extremely expensive eye surgery, and that storyline where he had his house entirely remodeled, and “can we afford it” was never in question.
They did a bit where Crazy Harry was all “Hey, Funky, is your TV 4k?” and Funky replied “I dunno. I don’t remember how much I spent to buy that TV”.
Funky is well-off, Montoni’s is somehow a mega-popular business that has made him the wealthiest man in Westview somehow.
That’s TWO somehows, but that’s because of how incredulous I am at that unbelievably improbable turn.MW: Leave it to Dawn to make chili that resembles one of her beloved salads.
Daddy Daze: Edvard House’s “The Sceam”
9CL – God, more of this.
Maybe Brooke expects to win a Pulitzer for his innovative choice to have the adult versions of his characters and the pre-teen versions exist at the same time and switch back and forth so that not only can present day Amos spend his days simpering over his narcissistic nightmare of a wife, but we can then watch even-more-hideous tween Amos simper over tween Edda! Don’t forget to tell her she is matchlessly beautiful lonce!
GT: Gil: “Things have been pretty rocky…”
Emmet: “It’s ‘Emmet’, not ‘Rocky'”
[Another shot of Gil walking out of a room]
RMMD: June: “Andrzej — you made it!”
[moves in front of hospital betting board]
MW: Wilbur: “Yeah, living a life oblivious to the feelings of the person you are in a relationship with is a pretty high high”
@Anonymous:
FW: ” Funky is well-off, Montoni’s is somehow a mega-popular business that has made him the wealthiest man in Westview somehow.”
From some strips I get the impression that it’s the only restaurant in Westvie, which would explain why Funkybis making loads of money. That, of course, raises the question of why there’s no competition. Perhaps Funky sends Les to all new competitors to bore the owner to death? Quite a nice racket.
MW – By the itching of my bum, something stupid this way comes….
BB – Say what you will ‘bout their poor military preparedness, when it comes to raking leaves, the Camp Swampy troops are tops….
DD – BA-BA – Both ‘smores and daddy give me the shits….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
MW: “Feeling down, eh? Have you tried clubbing? Or drugs? I hear drugs are good. Maybe you could combine clubbing with drugs. Does anyone do that?”
BB: So Sarge has given Beetle and Killer absurdly undersized rakes and asked them an expanse of concrete in the middle of summer? I think this qualifies as torture.
DD: Ah, a treasured ritual between fathers and sons: fact-checking Devo lyrics.
FW: Funky acts like he doesn’t spend every single day conjuring up the greasy culinary abortions he refers to as “pizza.”
MW: “You had a boyfriend? Well, if you want to get him back, start stalking him and harass his cat. I’d say we should get a dog out of spite but I’m banned from the animal shelter after I hit on one of the volunteers. Don’t worry, if we run into any trouble, we can have Mary say it’s part of our endearing quirks!”
“That’s what I was trying to tell that dumb bitch Cathy but she said it was my fault for lying to him and staring at other guys instead of listening to him when he talked. I don’t know, some guy with a nice ass came by so I wasn’t paying attention.”
RMMD: They already have a room ready for Tildy? Bullshit! My brother had to spend four days in the hospital after his accident and two of them were in the emergency room because they had nothing available. What kind of indecent act did Tildy perform to get a room already? Anyway, Andrzej is just making a polite visit because he’s preparing to spend the night with the Caddy after her operation and body work.
H&L: Lois looking at probably the neatest outdoor picnic table in history and declaring that the kids need better table manners is how she reminds them to leave the table before launching a silent but deadly.
All I have to say is, thank heaven the Beetle colorist was paying attention to the dialogue today.
MW: Seen here in its natural habitat of the father’s condo, the Brown-tufted Dawn Cuckoo displays its characteristic habit of extending its neck as it prepares to consume its preferred diet of chili and salad. While the neck extension is pronounced, adding several inches to the length of the esophagus, the habit is found only in the female of the species. The male, who can be easily identified by its lack of tufts, typically hunches over its food in a protective mode, quickly eating as much as it can in the shortest time possible. This habit increases the male’s chances of survival when food is scarce. For more information about the habitat, diet, and mating habits of the Brown-tufted Dawn Cuckoo, visit https://www.birds.cornell.edu/home.
MW: “I like my chili just like I like my women: very spicy! That way, when I think about Fabiana I have an excuse of why I am crying copiously!”
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: if one owns a business, as Funky does, estate planning is necessary
The clouds in Daddy Daze are so low-effort that you’d think he was drawing a parody of a early-2000s webcomic. Or a early-2000s webcomic
I like that Wilbur didn’t deign to ask Dawn about herself before he received food! Primum vivere, deinde philosophari
MW: “You’re feeling down?! Shit, I cannot bring you to another cruise, I won’t survive! Third time is the charm and Poseidon has his eyes on me!”
MW: “Ever since Jared broke up with me I’ve been feeling down, which is ironic because my head keeps moving up! Seriously though, my neck is growing. WebMD said it’s something called ‘Giraffa syndrome’, and it might explain my sudden taste for acacia leaves…”
BB: I think half the problem is the uniforms. Looks at that: not a pit stain or a wet spot anywhere. They must be made of impermeable nylon.
DD: The fact that ‘Daddy’ lives in a single house seemingly miles from anything adds a nice layer of context to this strip. It’s a like a cutesy version of The Shining.
For about six months in the Army, I lived in one of those old WWII barracks — you know, the long, white, two-story ones you see in old movies. They were surrounded by flower beds that never had any flowers in them. They were just dirt. And we had to rake the dirt every day so that we made nice even parallel lines perpendicular to the building. It was one of the Army’s endearing quirks.
BB: Fun fact, despite culture war by conservative agit-prop, big corporations and the military are perfectly aware of climate change and take remedial actions, because it disrupts their activities. Sarge is thinking “Shit, if I want my killing machine to work smoothly I will have to adapt! Triggering libs is no winning strategy in the battlefield!”
MW: It’s only the 1st and we’ve got our June Brigman Impossible Grip of the Month winner locked in with Wilbur’s spoon grip that could only work by burying part of his fist in his chili verde before awkwardly contorting his wrist around to meet his mouth. Credit to Dawn for having a go at it as well, but she’s in the presence of a master today.
MW: “Huh? Jared? Weren’t you dating some French guy named Hugo?”
“That was years ago, Dad, back when I was in my junior year.”
“Oh, but… hang on, aren’t you in your junior year of undergrad right now?”
“Well, that’s… say, how are things with you and Estelle? Are you still going out right now?”
“…This chili’s delicious.”
DT: In other news, the moon people shot down a human aircraft and murdered the survivors to protect their illegal archeological dig near their illegal Earth colony, and hero cop Dick Tracy thinks that’s just neato.
GT: How is this awards ceremony close enough that Gil can stop in at a usual haunt and run into other coaches from his conference, yet far enough that Mimi (who cohabitates with Gil) would have to reach it by flying? We always knew that Mimi was a bit of a harpy, but that wasn’t supposed to be literal.
@Austria: You were thinking it could have been yellow? I had something else in mind.
Slylock Fox-Slylock will follow Max because he thinks that as a mouse Max automatically knows how to navigate the sewers.
RMMD-“Not Tildy. My car. I want to see my car.”
MW-Oh look it’s Mr. I Shouldn’t Be Alive.
MW-Sing karaoke, Dawn. That cheers Wilbur up.
JP-Settling to the bottom is what this comic is doing.
FC-Billy is upset that Windows on the World is closed.
MW – I’m still stuck on how to complete the sentence “When Wilbur and Dawn eat together…” Best I’ve got so far is “no one goes away hungry — except emotionally.”
FC: Thel remembers a time before the melonheads were born, when travelling was easier and the first family members to arrive would be her nipples.
Oh C’mon Josh, you’re overstating the whole cruise ship thing. Iris is a woman Wilbur knows and she didn’t mourn his death!
Daddy Daze – Geez, don’t tell that to the demon-child! He’ll slather your back with melted chocolate and bite into it.
@Liam:
” Slylock Fox-Slylock will follow Max because he thinks that as a mouse Max automatically knows how to navigate the sewers.l
Sorry, Slylock, but you’re thinking of rats. I prefer dry environments and am as lost as you. I thought you could deduce which way to go.”
9CL: It’s nice that “mother of the century” Edda gets some time away from her children. You don’t get to see that very much in this strip. /S
Luann: No, “surprise” is reserved for telling your dad you’re pregnant, Tiffany.
@jroggs:
” MW: “Huh? Jared? Weren’t you dating some French guy named Hugo?”l
It’s far too much to expect of Wilbur that he should keep track of all Dawn’s boyfriends. Even we readers have difficulty doing that.
Love Is-I guess ‘hugging’ is what they call it nowadays. https://www.artfulaspreycartoons.co.uk/love-is-color-1-august-2022/
FC – Billy’s gonna show those NYC posers how a REAL sk8r boi does it.
@Liam: Launching a spinoff strip, self-love is…
JP: A nostalgic Sam sticks an old tape in the VCR. It shows police footage of Dixie Julep getting gunned down in a hail of bullets; “Good times.”
Dustin: Awwww, DustinDad appreciates that DustinMom only insults him in the privacy of their own home. He also doesn’t know about her affair, but that’s OK.
FC: New York City will deport the Keanes to New Jersey.
MW: “Oops, I’d love to hear all about it, but that chili has gone right through me.”
CS: “He’ll just run over Mitch if the brat becomes too much of a pain.”
FW: Geez, most financial seminar scams involve taking you out to Olive Garden or something. Westview really sucks.
@Baja Gaijin: The first mashup is great. The second one is how I always see Wilbur.
When a human lump of coal like Wilbur says something is spicy, they mean it’s spicy compared to plain cottage cheese. Mother wouldn’t let him eat pepper, you see, because excessive flavor causes spicy behavior, like getting drunk and falling off of cruise ships.
I’d sooner believe that in the Daddy Daze universe Angus is able to somehow scribble on the blue sky with a white crayon, than believe that’s the artist’s attempt to draw clouds.
Dustin: Hard to tell whether Ed’s more upset by being cuckolded or being forced to eat nonfat yogurt, but he clearly considers them equivalent horrors.
MW – Dawn is angry and upset. There is only one thing her father can do and that is to mooch a free meal off of her. Well played, Dad of the Year, Wilbur!
Hey, Jared – expect Wilbur to drop in to see how you are doing with the breakup. He’ll be arriving tomorrow precisely at dinnertime so get an extra plate out.
RMMD: Hmm, Andrzej drives a Caddy while Tildy drives a YUGO. The problems with this marriage go beyond health issues.
MW: “He keeps sexting me but I just ignore him. It was cute while we were dating but come on…”
JP: We’re watching the beginning of Sam’s transformation into a Fox News Grump. Before long he will be doing a right-wing podcast, ranting about spoiled, wealthy liberal women who seek to emasculate America’s men and turn them into mere stablehands for the women’s horses.
FC-The awkward humor that will ensue when the Keanes visit Ground Zero.
@jroggs: MW: It’s only the 1st and we’ve got our June Brigman Impossible Grip of the Month winner locked in with Wilbur’s spoon grip that could only work by burying part of his fist in his chili verde before awkwardly contorting his wrist around to meet his mouth. Credit to Dawn for having a go at it as well, but she’s in the presence of a master today.
Not so fast, jroggs. You’re right, it’s only the first of the month. We have yet to see someone holding a cell phone, or gripping a steering wheel, or holding another person in a crushing embrace. Patience, my friend, patience.
Also, I know you’re not supposed to try this kind of stuff at home because it’s dangerous, but I did, and the nearest I can figure is that Wilbur holds the spoon in that fashion so that, when it approaches his mouth, he can use his index finger to sweep the contents into his maw, thereby reducing the amount of time it takes to ingest one bite after the other.
Sincerely looking forward to the dark, gritty Daddy Daze Forever comic book series, in which Daddy deals with his Oxycontin addiction.
FC – Jeffy’s just excited because he booked a job handing out fliers in Times Square.
Gil Thorp – We’re not going to talk about the Olan Mills portrait of Meems and the kids in Gil’s wallet? Or the fact that he has a flip phone in 2022? Or the fact that she’d have to fly in to be there? Or that things are rocky?!? I mean, spicy chili be damned, this is a Gilmergency!!!
C’mon, Sarge, let the soldiers go inside! They’ve finished their raking task so effectively that the ground has been cleared of all objects, natural or man-made! Any more and they’ll be raking down to the sub-atomic level!
This isn’t good. Sarge can’t have Beetle collapsing from heat stroke! He has to make sure the lad is feeling better before he has a chance to beat him into a healthy pile of pulverized bones later in the afternoon.
“I saw Spinal S’More open for Mama’s Broken Back at Lollapalooza in ’95” is a statement that makes just about as much sense as today’s Daddy Daze.
Hi and Lois-Day two of the picnic.
Hi and Lois-“Kids, dont’ feed the passed out drunks.”
FC-Wait until they find out that The Tavern on the Green does not look like someone’s apartment.
RMMD: What? They just skipped over Andrezej’s week-long nail-biting drive to the hospital in Tildy’s rattletrap? He should just now be trying to get the engine to turn over. This is moving way too fast.
MW. I’ve never thought Wilbur would be the super spicy type. Next I’ll hear his favorite condiment is Carolina Reaper Mayonnaise.
9CL – The need to always have these two standing around in a body of water has become pathological. Today, they have both dressed in swim suits so they can spend the day casually wandering around in water up to their calves. Why? Did they agree to meet at the marsh for some Edda worship? Do they live on the border of some underwater kingdom?
You would think someone with Amos’ physique would find excuses NOT to have his one and only true love see him wearing nothing but swim trunks?
Mary Worth: Is chili supposed to be green and voluminous, with little red pieces jutting up? Are salad bowls supposed to match the Le Creuset pot? Is chili served from the table? Where is the light coming from that shadows a quarter of Wilbur’s head but lights up the same side of Dawn’s face? Do people really decorate with dark blue curtains against a slightly lighter blue on the walls? Damn you, Mary Worth colorist, you’ve made me think about this comic strip for minutes longer than I am comfortable with!
FC: It may be an old drawing but it depicts an impossible future. Compared to the people on the ground, they’ve just arrived on the largest jet that has ever or will ever exist. NYC braces as the whole population of Phoenix has arrived at once.
DD: Nice cameo by Wonder Woman’s invisible jet in panel three.
MW: Much like What We Do in the Shadows’ Colin Robinson, Wilbur’s genetic make up is 100% White, so I’m assuming “super spicy” means Dawn used a level quarter teaspoon of Kroger’s cayenne pepper from a tin that’s been sitting in the back of the pantry since 2005.
MW: super spicy isn’t necessarily associated with flatulence. It can be associated with sweat, snot, a red face, flaming urine, and if spicy enough, heart palpitations.
FC: Why are they going to Baggage Claim if they haven’t left yet?
MW: “My advice is to drink heavily. Here, let me get the Johnny Walker Purple out of the cabin, and you’ll be embarrassing yourself in front of Jerkhead and Yugo in no time.”
MW: “This Jared, does he have a cat? OK, there’s your problem. The cat has turned him against you.”
BB: Topical. As for the rakes, clearly Sarge has belatedly joined Mao’s ‘campaign against the 4 pests’ and is trying to exterminate sparrows by having his soldiers whack at them with rakes.
DD: “Ba ba ba?”
“Yes, son, fatherhood is a living hell and I resent you so much. You’ve ruined my life.”
DtM: Wilson is standing in his yard while holding a bucket of oats with his eyes closed. Is he dreaming of swinging the bucket full force into Dennis’ face? Emptying the bucket, putting it over Dennis’ head and whacking it with a rake? I guess we’ll never know.
Damn these one panel strips!
Sighs, opens up his book on Court-Martial Offenses at Camp Swampy, adds “Violation of TRADOC Regulation 350-29: Prevention of Heat and Cold Causalities,” wonders when Sarge will ever face a tribunal, then notes the Regulation in question has a ‘urine color chart,’ and is thankful they haven’t tried to introduce that into Beetle Bailey before.
Or Marvin.
C’shaft: “Refresh my memory, how many students did your grandfather leave behind on his route last semester alone?”
DT: “By the way, there’s an ancient pyramid in Antarctica now. You might want to, you know, tell a scientist or archeologist about that at some point.”
FW: “I want to know my family will be miserable long after I’m gone!”
MT: “Plaid flip-flops” sounds like it was a rejected lyric from Weird Al’s “Tacky.”
Pluggers eat some vegetables, see? French fries also count!
9CL: No semi-obscure ancient Greek literary reference today? You’ve let us all down, Brooke. I’m not angry, just disappointed.
MW: OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY…Dawn is finally going to have a heart-to-heart with her father, who is, as we all know, a wise, warm, caring, thoughtful, self-aware man when it comes to relationships.
FC: Oh dear…we all know what a “memorable vacation” is for the Keanes…I think I’ll stay home this time.
ZIPPY: A spot-on description of most of the strips we review here…
Man, I am *cynical* this morning…I need to get some breakfast. And coffee. Mostly coffee.
Luann: “What is MY house doing all over the internet?!?!”
“Sir, this is a Zillow listing.”
The Familiar Mucus: “The Keanesons are going to NY!” Doesn’t NYC have enough problems already?
The Familiar Mucus: The CHUDS prequel you never knew you wanted.
@Tonio: re JP: “Sam’s transformation into a Fox News Grump”
I believe he’s watching Morning Joe and is turning into an MSNBC Grump. Can’t he find The Western Channel and turn into a Plugger Grump?
Zippy: In the future? That’s a perfect description of Chickweed right now.
Note added in press: Plugger ‘pologies to Daisy at 88.
RMMD: Progress! Andy made it to the hospital in one piece. So the common factor in these two incidents is…the Caddy. Andy will say “It’s fine! It’s a great car! There’s no problem with it! Here, I’ll just roll the windows down and pull the fuse out. That should take care of it.”
DT: “You’ll learn all about Secret Weapon X, when the time is ripe, Tracy!! I mean, Secret Art Installation, heh heh!”
Dawn is taking a page out of the Hot Ones playbook and is asking her father questions only after peppering his palate with spicy food. However, she will soon learn the hard way why Hot Ones uses chicken wings as opposed to gut-busting chili after Wilbur has to abandon the heart-to-heart talk in order to use the bathroom to do what he and Dawn call, “Exercising the Demons.”
Dennis No Menace: “Heyyyyyyyyyyyy, Mr Wilson, what are you doing with Marvin’s carp bucket? ” “Just about to give you a new hair style, Dennis my boy.”
@Charterstoned: Sorry about that, I’m currently bedridden with a nasty case of batiukitis and one of the symptoms is an overwhelming urge to give awards to fictional characters. The worst part is the facial soreness from all the chronic smirking.
@White Rabbit: re RMMD: Yes, I’ve thought all along that both were exposed to a toxic substance, maybe carbon monoxide or fumes of some sort. But they were both feeling bad *before* getting into the Caddie, though the ride seemed to make things much worse. I’m sure there’ll be a perfectly logical and scientific explanation.
9CL – Presumably, these are the retcon Amos and Edda, who have been madly in love with each other since birth.
But adolescent Amos is still too shy to tell her how he feels. Fortunately, he isn’t too shy to tell her that he is too shy to tell her how he feels.
Maybe they can wander into a peat bog and get stuck and later archaeologists will marvel at how well preserved the remains are, with both skeletons completely intact except, oddly, for their lower jaws, which are missing for both specimens.
MW — Wilbur has many faults, but expecting a free lunch is not one of them. He knows that if Dawn breaks out of her self-obsessed stupor to throw together a pot of chili there are going to be consequences. How *are* you? he asks warily, knowing that this will take awhile. . .
@Dennis Jimenez:
Darn Shakespeare’s editor! I think you’ve unearthed authorial intent!
@jroggs: Take two Mark Trails and call me in the morning.
@Liam:
“Look, kids! Someday, two really tall towers will be built here!”
@Baja Gaijin: #3
**Oh my gosh** – the second one gave me a jolt!! Love it, love it, love it – it is the *perfect* portrayal of Wilbur. Now for some reason I’m picturing Dawn as Olive Oyl, Popeye’s petulant, jealous, needy girlfriend…
MW: Meanwhile, as Wilbur assures Dawn that he is the best person to come to for relationship advice, Estelle strolls in from the kitchen in her nightgown, vigorously nodding her head in agreement. “Yes, Dawn – listen to your dad. He is the answer to my prayers and I couldn’t love him more! I even got rid of…er, “re-homed”…Libby and Pierre just for him.
@Bravo McGuire: re MW: Wilbur visiting Jared? That’ll cost them extra! Mr. Solo will need to prepare for the confrontation of his career! But I think he’s up to the task – he’s studied the “Libby tapes” religiously. We’ll see what sort of original spin he puts on “insulting Wilbur”…
RwO: Speakin’ of original spin – I hope you enjoyed today’s vignette of Wolf family life. Roles for Wildlife are so scarce these days that many are willing to take on anthropomorphic gigs. Great job by all, including the sleeping juvenile.
@Baja Gaijin: @Oversized Garden Ornament: When did this Family Circus originally run? I can narrow it down. According to comments and links on Comics Kingdom, this last ran in 2001. There was a link to an earlier appearance which had a copyright of 1977. I don’t know if it ran before that, but 1977 sounds right.
Jef couldn’t be bothered to update those carry ons to ones with wheels?
@Tonio: It looks like he’s watching Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski.
FC: The three-week NYC adventure originally ran in August 1977. It ran again in August 2001, with the Keanes going back home just two weeks before 9/11. Here are two from next week that I’m sure Jeff will tastefully update.
MW: It occurs to me now that the significant thing about Dawn’s chili is that neither Weston knows what chili is. Clearly she has tried to replicate a salad from Chili’s.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: #21
“Family Circlejerk Guess-the-Year Contest: The fact that the guy trailing the Keanes has a stogie protruding from his mouth would indicate this is at least 20 years old.”
I noticed that too. And chances are that when this cartoon was originally published smoking was allowed on commercial airplanes, and I pity the poor people who had to sit in proximity to the cigar chomper. The continual recycling of outdated cartoons makes this strip tiresome to read…the only seismic shift I can remember was when they updated Thel’s hair style.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: Adolescent Amos is even more repulsive that the adult version, but I thought that the drawing of tween/teen Edda was disturbing. I’m not sure how old she’s supposed to be, but judging by Amos, I’d guess no older than fourteen or fifteen. Her figure was a little too lovingly drawn for a girl of that young age.
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: The wolf family was great. I also liked the Speed Bump cats – I assume they’re yours? They really nailed that sophisticated attitude.
MW – “How are you” is a strange thing to say well into the middle of a meal, but you be you, Wilburp. And what the hell are they doing with those spoons? Are they playing a game of “Who Can Hold Their Spoon in a Sillier Manner?”
@I speak Jive:
”Jef couldn’t be bothered to update those carry ons to ones with wheels?”
The plane is actually a bigger anachronism. There haven’t been any triple-engine airliners used for passenger traffic in the US for quite a few years (they are still being used for cargo)
@Flipper: God, I hope he updates them. He couldn’t be that obtuse or careless.
The comments on CK provide a link to a panel that didn’t run, of the Keanes on the plane before they reached New York. Maybe he won’t run everything, and this will be a short vacation.
@Daisy: There are minor updates, when Jef bothers to do them: updating console TV sets to flat screens, updating phones, occasionally remembering to add seat belts in cars. I don’t understand why he didn’t remove the cigar. A little Wite Out would do it.
@Oversized Garden Ornament: Ah, but you are seeing a small glimpse of the world-building in Family Circus. In the Circuverse, the DC-10 had a properly fitted inward-opening cargo door, so the crashes that killed hundreds were avoided. The tri-jet models remained in service, McDonnell Douglas remained independent, and you’re looking at a late model DC-22. All that alt-history goes into the careful crafting of the Circus, and you don’t appreciate it.
@White Rabbit: #93
No apology needed!! I always enjoy Zippy when he riffs on the comics we love to riff on!
@I speak Jive: 9CL – “Her figure was a little too lovingly drawn for a girl of that young age.”
Brooke’s burgeoning obsession with the sex lives of pubescent teens (and toddler twins) is one of the more squicky items to emerge from the new, plotless world of All Edda Worship All the Time.
We’ve had Toby’s pozole and Dawn’s chili. Is Moy going from Mex to Tex?
Fun fact: My husband’s family is from Mexico so when we visited for family dinners, my father-in-law would make dishes from Guadalajara (my mother-in-law is not the cooking type nor the maternal type). My favorite food of his was tortas ahogadas which is basically a pulled pork sandwich absolutely drowning in a chili sauce made with chile de arbol. I love pulled pork and spicy food so this was absolutely made for me. Messy as hell, yes, but it is delicious.
And I’m whiter than a magnolia blossom in Georgia but I ate spicy food continuously as a kid compared to my husband who actually isn’t fond of overly spicy food. Admittedly the GERD is a partial factor but he’s always been the type who prefers medium spice.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: #116
Brooke McEldowney writes for an audience of one.
Crankshaft – If they decide to go anywhere, Crankshaft will make the kid run after the car, then speed up and leave the kid standing along the road.
FW – Ye gods, these are unpleasant people.
Rex Morgan – If Andrzej is tricked into saying his name backwards, will he disappear to another dimension? Would that work with Tildy? And Buck? Let’s try it and see.
FYBKY WINKERBEAN: Funky: “‘Eveyone else’ being the people who eat at my pizzeria.”
@Daisy: Currently, various deep-dreaming sites like DALL-E are being used to turn their bizarre interpretations of the internet’s subconscious into the comics of tomorrow. The most presentable ones are being published as Crock.
In panel three, Daddy Daze Daddy is either wearing a turtleneck with an over-large neck hole, or some kind of a collar he put on to illustrate that he is leashed like a dog to the system or to parenting or whatever, which is so the kind of bit he would take too far that I think I’m gonna go with the latter.
Flunking Wrinkled Brains: “I’m leaving everything to the Les Moore Founation — ONLY YOU can prevent Les Moore.”
The Family Circus: Some have speculated that this was from 1972 but here’s a Family Circus labeled as being from 1972. Note the subtle differences in the drawing of the characters especially Thel who still had her old hairdo in 1972.
H&L: For a woman about to explain table manners, you would think she would provide either utensils or napkins. How does she expect her family to eat corn on the cob without spoons?
I’m always impressed at how mudges can track down the original dates of Jeffy’s recycled art.
I’m probably a sick fuck for even wondering and inquiring, but the 40th anniversary of Marvin got me wondering about the first Marvin. The Minneapolis dead tree started carrying it but didn’t have it at the beginning. I don’t know if any other dead trees that are on newspaper.com carried it from the start or if there is a link to the first one. I’m just wondering if they went with a shit theme from day one.
No, not how are you, how are you? How do you exist? How did any child raised by me survive to adulthood? I would have sworn Jared was a serial killer, he’s really got that vibe, and I was like okay, here it is, but (eats big spoonful of chili, keeps speaking with mouth full) here you are!
MW: Super spicy? C’mon, Karen Moy. You’re offending this strip’s long-standing WASPish sensibilities. Don’t you know that spicy food is for ethnic people and other untermenschen?
MW: It’s looking more and more that June Bridgman is really a space alien who’s never seen a bowl of chili in her life.
Phantom: A torniquet? What’s the matter, big boy? Did you forget to bring some of Guran’s magic arterial leak stop powder?
@Voshkod:
y
” Ah, but you are seeing a small glimpse of the world-building in Family Circus. In the Circuverse, the DC-10 had a properly fitted inward-opening cargo door, so the crashes that killed hundreds were avoided. The tri-jet models remained in service, McDonnell Douglas remained independent, and you’re looking at a late model DC-22. All that alt-history goes into the careful crafting of the Circus, and you don’t appreciate it.”
I had no idea! But it makes sense if FC takes place in not just an alternate timeline, but a parallel universe – that would explain the weird melonhead anatomy of the children…
To inject some (boring) facts, in our timeline it wasn’t those accidents (horrible as they were) that killed the tri-jets. Once those problems had been fixed the DC-10 and its successor the MD-10 flew on for many years (I flew an MD-10 from Amsterdam to Detroit around 2005 or so). No, what killed them was fuel economy – when twin-jets were allowed to cross the oceans, they out-competed the trijets – and, apart from the A380 and 747, the quad-jets as well.
The Argyle Sweater: It’s all about the product placement.
Love Is: Touching myself, when you’re not around to touch me.
MW: “Dawn, you know that eventually you’re going to have to talk to Mary.”
“Gaawwwd, don’t remind me! Ugh, I’d almost rather talk to Jared. . . . Dad, can you get me out of it?”
“I’m sorry, Dawn. We all know that’s not possible. You’ll just have to suck it up and tough it out.”
“I knoow, I knoow. Can I have some of that purple scotch you drink whenever you get dumped?”
@129 Oversized Garden Ornament:
Talk of DC planes brings back memories. In 1967 a buddy and I hitched a ride from Orlando to Lantana Municipal Airport (near West Palm Beach, now called Palm Beach County Park Airport) on an old DC-3 cargo plane. There were no seats for passengers so we camped out on some cargo bags. Hey, the ride was free. We felt like airplane hobos. I’m glad it was only about a 170 mile trip.
@I speak Jive: re Speed Bump: (psst) Ms. Jive – those are Dogs in today’s comic, not Cats… unless you mean “Cat” in the hipster sense, like HepCats. Nevermind, that works…
@Dr. Larry Erhardt: #121
Hmmm…if a simulation of “Crock” is the pinnacle of achievement for a futuristic, high-concept technology like DALL-E, I don’t think we have much to fear from AI…
Ripley’s: Today’s strip is NSFBG! (Not Safe for Baja Gaijin).
love is… being your own straitjacket.
Daddy Daze: Step on a crack, break your mother’s back.
Step on a line, break your mother’s spine.
Step on the grass, break your mother’s ass.
Step on some snot,
MW: Super spicy does not mean a few sliced jalapeños and a splash of Tabasco sauce. Minimum entry level for super spicy is habanero.
@Maude R. Fawker: Step on any runt….
@3 Baja Gaijin:
I’m partial to number two. Maybe it’s because I used “goofy eyes” in a Mary Worth mashup eleven years ago.
@Sequitur: love is… being your own straitjacket.
“Love is masturbating when he’s not around.” Or, so one is invited to infer, given censorship restrictions.
Given the little naked guy’s lack of genitalia, love is probably masturbating when he is around, too. Given the little naked girl’s lack of genitalia, I’m not quite sure what that would entail, though. Maybe she just goes beep-beep on the two dots that pass for tits, assumes that’s what people mean by an orgasm, and calls it an afternoon.
@Sequitur: I’m partial to number two.
So is Marvin.
Hi and Lois: That’s a pretty skimpy meal there Lois. An ear of corn, salad and some buns. Why isn’t Hi grilling some hamburgers and hot dogs? Where’s the potato salad and cole slaw? And empty glasses. Why not have at least some water. And why does one need table manners at a picnic table?
Lois is one screwed up picnic host.
@Oversized Garden Ornament: The plane is actually a bigger anachronism. There haven’t been any triple-engine airliners used for passenger traffic in the US for quite a few years (they are still being used for cargo)
Wikipedia says the 727 went into service in 1964, so at least we know the cartoon is no older than that.
@Peanut Gallery: Why did Bil and Thel allow Billy to take a skateboard along on vacation? Are they hoping he’ll be hit by a car on the busy, dangerous streets of New York and they’ll get to spend their vacation in the emergency room? Or are they going to take him to a skate park and carefully supervise him while he skates, while the other kids whine about being bored?
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: Oh, my gosh, I’m so embarrassed. I knew they were dogs, because I noted that both Speed Bump and Bliss involve dogs going for a walk. I must have been distracted by something, either Dawn’s chili or the disturbing goings on in 9CL. You can be thankful that you don’t represent humans.
@Rita Lake: re FC: Not only does Billy have his skateboard, it also looks like Bil has brought along his bowling ball. A fun-filled vacation indeed!
FC: Memorable = we think you might notice these are reruns if you see them all together, so we may as well admit it for once.
FW: I kind of love the expressions in the final panel for how well they convey emotion, while at the same time absolutely hating the emotions they convey. Holly’s is “Haha, my husband’s such a kidder”, while Funky’s is more “I hate being here and am 100% serious when I say that whatever happens after my death is the very definition of not my problem.”
GT: Does the new writer lurk around here, do you think? Because this whole “Gil would like to make it clear that his kids don’t appear in his Christmas cards any more because they grew up and moved out, like kids do, and not because they’re buried in quicklime in any way” bit kind of feels aimed at us.
MW: “Yes, it’s always difficult when you get dumped. I remember when Iris left me for a younger man…”
“Didn’t you dump her for a younger woman? And when that woman turned out to be a con-artist, you assumed Iris would have you back, and went into a total meltdown when you found out she’d moved on?”
“Whatever. The point is, I persevered, I moved on myself, and eventually I met Estelle.”
“Yeah, and the first time you almost blew that one was when you got completely smashed and started hitting on Iris again, while you and Estelle were actually on a date. I mean, the worst I did was look at other guys!”
“Look, do you want an actual discussion of whose fault things might be, or do you want to be told that the Westons are always the injured party?”
“…The second one. Sorry, Dad.”
Phantom: Dare we hope that Old Man Mozz’s story is actually going to stop once the Phantom gets shot in the head? Of course not. I’m guessing at least a week of Kit reacting to the fact his gf killed his dad, then Diana and Elioise have to hear about it, then probably a while with Sarvana and why her child doesn’t make a good Phantom. And at the end of it all, Stripey will say what he’s been saying the whole time, which is “Okay, but what if I rescue Sarvana and none of the rest of that stuff happens?”
Six Chex and A Cat Named Filmation: “I’m not a snail, I’m Jim Backus’ left eyebrow.”
@Baja Gaijin: #3: The second one made me laugh so hard my wife thought I was having a seizure.
The comparison of Daddy Daze Daddy’s spine to a s’more bothers me, since marshmallows expand when you make s’mores, but I’m not sure what would be better. A half-finished bag of marshmallows, forgotten in the back of the pantry, squashed under some boxes and cans?
“Have you tried getting drunk and standing outside his apartment at night with a boombox? No? Well, what about ruining his date with his new girlfriend by hate serenading them? An out of the blue marriage proposal to patch over all of your relationship’s rough spots? No wonder all you Gen Z kids are single, you don’t even know how to stalk someone properly until you wear down their resistance and get them to settle on you.”
Ah, yes. These new, modern market freezers!
DD: I was annoyed that that stupid “chili dog race” gag from Blondie was still taking up real estate in my mind until I was able to picture Dagwood overhearing Daddy on the sidewalk and repeatedly punching through Daddy’s spine in an attempt to find the s’more. “Hobo on bath salts?” a grizzled cop wonders as his partner pukes in the bushes.
DD: A guy wearing an S&M collar and describing, in vivid detail, the pain his tormentor is inflicting on him? That I can handle. But when his tormentor is an infant, and his own son, I draw the line.
Bizarro: Now before anybody gets any bright ideas – that’s not me starring in this comic today! No, dahlings, I haven’t gotten *that* desperate for a job!
Of course they contacted me with an offer, as they do for all high-profile Horse roles. I think Sarah Cassidy Parker turned them down too. But unlike some Wildlife (Wolves, in particular) I have too much Equine Pride to dress up like a two-legger, especially when the costume is as unfashionable as that!
Oh, I’m not criticizing the Horse who took the job. We all do what we must to make a living – I think she may just be starting out, and the Dog and Pony Show gigs have pretty much dried up. She did a credible job with the material, maybe a little too much hoof gesturing, but that’s a minor quibble…
@richardf8: I couldn’t mourn someone who treated me the way Wilbur did. No respect at all. Anyway, I was way too busy with Zak, ha ha.
@Oversized Garden Ornament: The plane IS a Boeing 727, which has been retired by the major airlines in the United States.
PS: The fact the cartoon (?) is outdated is why the trip to New York probably won’t make any references to AIDS, monkeypox or the high cost of travel there. Too bad, because it’d be a joy with “Uncle Roy”!
Luann: “Why are there images of our house all over the internet? You giving a tour, a girl posing in costumes, a ‘Waremanse’ sign on our mailbox – what’s going on?!”
“Sir, this is an Arby’s.”
@Horace Broon, Phantom: Kit23 will swing around and kill Kit’24s gf, which will send Kit 24 into a rage and order the Skull Nuke….”
@Braniff: It’s always the 1950s inside the Circle, no matter what the televisions look like or how high the hair styles are, which means Braniff is still flyin’ high!
FC-When you go to Central Park watch out for the Mad Shover.
MW-“Not great ever since it was discovered that you were still alive.”
FW-Because you are ‘Funky Winkerbean’ not ‘Marvin’. You can’t leave a big mess behind.
MW: I’ve just finished eating a spicy burger. It was spicy but not super spicy. Super spicy would be outside my comfort zone. Okay I’ll stop ranting about something nobody else cares about.
Luann-Wait until you see the pictures of Tiffany.
MW – You gotta give respect to the effort Wilbur has put into his comb-over. His remaining hairs are carefully spaced to provide the maximum coverage. I assume he has dyed the grey right out of his hair, which means he’s also carefully washed the top of his head to remove any traces of shoe polish. If you squint really hard and have poor vision to start with, you could almost …. wait, no, you couldn’t almost. He’s not fooling anyone, just lampshading the problem.
The fate of pluggers.
MW: Wilbur is literally the source of all the hatred I have for this strip. Either it’s his own actions (to quote Bill from Kill Bill: “Letting someone think that someone they love is dead when they’re not is quite cruel.” That guy was the villain and even HE knew that!) or it’s other actions that still involve him (like May’s godawful mindset of “oh that Wilbur, whattya gonna do? Don’t bother getting out of toxic relationships; just accept that the shitty people in your life are here to stay!” Seriously, Mary is dead to me just for that.)
@taig: LUANN: No, “surprise” is reserved for telling your dad you’re pregnant, Tiffany.
Except you gotta have sex to get pregnant, and you’ll see Luann become a rocket scientist before anyone from her high school graduating class ever has sex. Only happily married couples and Designated Villains have sex in this strip.
Pluggers: A plugger would even consider ketchup and relish a full serving of vegetables.
FC: Go easy on the Keanes, people. At least they’re now in the jet age. Remember the business trip story a couple of years ago? Bil was walking outside on the tarmac to board a turboprop.
“Ever since Jared left me, I’ve been ‘feeling down’, i.e., feeling myself down there and realizing just how many sensations I missed out on in those two wasted years.”
@Bryan: That’s why it would be such a surprise. If it were to happen, we could spend nine months (whatever that actually means in real time) watching the other characters point and laugh at Tiffany’s constant morning sickness.
@172 taig:
Bets got Tiffany pregnant?
@Bryan: If Tiffany does get pregnant, it will be because she stepped out of the shower and accidentally started to dry herself off using the designated Kip-and-Steffi semen towel.
@Professor Well Actually: #164
But it feels good to just get it off your chest, doesn’t it? :-)
@175 Daisy:
“Off their chest’ is how pluggers eat their burgers.
@seismic-2: LUANN: Yeah, that’s the weird thing about this strip. All the protagonists constantly slut-shame Tiffany despite her never even kissing a guy, and Bernice can’t even bring herself to say the word “sex” (merely insisting “I would NEVER do THAT.”) so it’s got a pretty blatant anti-sex mindset. Yet they hint at the subject constantly, and even put a cum-cleanup rag on full display. It makes it hilarious whenever a Trufan starts claiming it’s a Family Strip.
It’s a really strange duality in play here. The strip hates sex, yet won’t stop talking about it.
@Melody Mare, on hiatus: #157
Oh!! I thought the *other* horsie was you, and the costumer & propmaster did a fabulous job of squeezing you into that broomstick,ha ha!! Ha ha…I’m going to get trampled, aren’t I…
@Sequitur: It was an immaculate conception, silly.
@Bryan: It isn’t just accept that the shitty people in their life is here to stay – Mary encouraged Estelle to accept Wilbur’s unacceptable behavior and consider his obnoxious personality “endearing quirks.”
Mary thinks of Wilbur as a diamond in the rough.
I don’t think this is gaslighting, because Mary’s not trying to make Estelle doubt her own sanity. Whatever it is, it’s not the behavior of a good person.
@179 taig:
Of course. How sheepheaded of me.
@Braniff:
FC: ” The fact the cartoon (?) is outdated is why the trip to New York probably won’t make any references to AIDS”
I honestly can’t see FC referring to AIDS or other scary real-world problems. Not even if the cartoon had been made in the early eighties.
@Needless_Exposition: I know white people who love spicy food and eat it with gusto, including a few in my family. I, on the other hand, can’t deal with spicy food at all, and have learned that the hard way. Even “mild” spiciness is always way too much. So Dawn’s chili might actually kill me, but if I were stuck living with her, death might not seem so bad.
MT: If a fly is in my house, it gets caught and released. If it’s outside and biting me, I smack it with my hand. I don’t understand the circumstances that would lead to a sandal being used as a swatter. But I’m happy to see that the rash will be treated in spite of the the Tiger Touch excitement. Any development that postpones the meeting with Rex Scorpius is welcome.
GA: Assuming that this rocket would kill instantly, with very minimal suffering and no time for fear, which character should it hit? (A) Slim (B) Aubee (C) Rufus (D) Walt (E) Baleen (F) Insert character of choice.
@Poteet: G. All of the above
MW: When Dawn eats her super-spicy chili to finish off her normal lunch of 12 pounds of kale, un-shelled walnuts, and lawn mower clippings, and Wilbur eats Dawn’s super-spicy chili to finish off his normal lunch of 47 roast beef sandwiches on whole wheat with sauerkraut and horse radish, who will win the race to the bathroom? And will the loser have enough time to sound the alarm to warn the other residents of Charterstone to put on their hazmat suits, until Mr. Alora is able to unclog the pipes with napalm yet again?
MW: The HOA is going to have some words about that chili. Nothing spicy is allowed in Charterstone!
MW: That long, spindly neck barely able to hold her head upright makes me wonder if Dawn’s bio-daddy is really Mr. Bribery.
That’s a leafy salad, not chili, but I absolutely believe that salad is as spicy a food as either Weston can eat.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Yes indeed. I was thinking that with the extra time she’s had since she was dumped, Dawn has been working on her John Tenniel “Alice with a long neck” imitation, with unnerving results.
@taig: Yep, that’s a very understandable option.
@189 Guillermo el chiclero:
Mr Bribery on a pogo stick.
Yep. Dawn certainly has his neck.
@seismic-2: Whole wheat bread?
It’s like you never met Wilbur.
@194 Ukulele Ike:
He also said horseradish instead of mayonnaise.
@190 Malaclypse: When Dawn makes chili, she doesn’t use just the peppers. She uses the whole plant. Wilbur, of course, will eat the leaves, the roots, and everything in between (including the table’s centerpiece), so long as he can put it all between two pieces of bread.
MT-Instead of sour cream Wilbur likes to put a big heaping spoonful of mayonnaise in his chili.
At least Beetle and Killer are sweating. I think Sarge is in the middle of heatstroke.
Just finished some crispy beef with red chillies (it’s a Gordon Ramsey thang.) Now that was spicy! (blows fire like Gene Simmons.)
@Uncle Lumpy:
The Keane Krewe is off to New York City for cheesesteaks at the Rocky statue!
____________________________________________________
Hokey Smokes, Bull-lumpy! That trick never works!
@Sequitur: Well, horseradish mayonnaise is pretty good. Especially in conjunction with a good, ripe mustard.
@Liam: Sour cream on top of a good bowl of red? BLASPHEMY!
Just move to Cincinnati NOW. Put some damn cinnamon and cocoa in your chili and serve it on spaghetti.
@201 Ukulele Ike:
Did you notice I put a mashup suggestion you made four years ago at @193 Sequitur: ?
Daddy Daze: “Ba ba ba” “Why are we being chased by Wonder Woman’s invisible plane? Well,Angus, if it’s invisible we can show it and avoid copyrights.”
@204 Garrison Skunk:
I wonder what one would see when Wonder Woman uses the rest room on that invisible plane.
Daddy Daze: “Ba ba ba” “Why are we being chased by Wonder Woman’s invisible plane? Well,Angus, if it’s invisible we can show it and avoid copyrights.” “Ba ba ba” “Yes Angus, that’s what we call stupid,welcome to my world, by the by are any of your playmates families named Jetson?
@Sequitur:
Depends on who’s watching…The newspaper censors and the Time/Warner lawyers would see completely different scenarios, while Dot Warner would just shake her head and say, “Boys….”
@Liam:
FC-The awkward humor that will ensue when the Keanes visit Ground Zero.
________________________________________
“Jeffy !When we abandoned you here back in 2001, I know for a fact there were two towers here! Who took them?” “Ida Know.”
@Oversized Garden Ornament: “this week, in a very special ‘Family Circus’, Mommy and the kids say ‘goodbye, Daddy,’ as Bil’s DL dalliances in the NYC bathhouse scene come to a tragic conclusion.”
@208 Garrison Skunk:
“Where’d those twin towers go? Thel! Your chest is jutting out more than usual!”
@Maude R. Fawker: that made me laugh out loud. COTW material!
@18 Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Funky got the house for a steal back in the 80’s after 20/20’s report on the leaking barrels of carcinogenic sludge buried on his future property. Ditto for Montoni’s land. Explains all the cancer in Funky’s and Montoni’s social groups too.
@43 Liam: I prefer to think “Oh look it’s Mr.
I Shouldn’t Be AliveI Wish He Weren’t Alive.”@72 Liam: I got the reference!
@79 TheDiva: “Much like What We Do in the Shadows’ Colin Robinson, Wilbur’s genetic make up is 100% White, so I’m assuming “super spicy” means Dawn used a level quarter teaspoon of Kroger’s
cayenne pepperground black pepper from a tin that’s been sitting in the back of the pantry since 2005.” Fixed that for ya.@105 Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: Extreme claw sharpening better be one of Solo’s preparations for The Confrontation. I want him to stick to Wilbur as a sand burr sticks to a golden retriever’s coat.
@130 Sequitur: I love it! I’m sure Plugger males have cans of that set strategically about their abodes to distract people from the gallons of noxious gas emanating from their backsides
@141 Sequitur: Goofy Eyes, like dogs, are great.
@148 Arabella: Maybe in the original artwork, Billy was carrying a official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time.
@Melody Mare, on hiatus:
I’m sure the other horse did it for the free eyeball coffee the hip young ponies are drinking this year.
@Baja Gaijin:
@148 Arabella: Maybe in the original artwork, Billy was carrying a official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time.
___________________________
“You’ll shoot your nostril off,Billy!”
@216 Garrison Skunk: “Oh my God! I shot my nostril off!”
@Baja Gaijin:
That Photoshop of Willburp came from “Sailor Mary” aka “Mary Worth: The Anime”, didn’t it?
@218 Garrison Skunk: Actually the face is from Gasoline Alley if I remember correctly.
@Oversized Garden Ornament:
FW: ” Funky is well-off, Montoni’s is somehow a mega-popular business that has made him the wealthiest man in Westview somehow.”
_______________________
It happened when Old Man Potter bought the Toxic Taco.
Sarge really wants Beetle to know that his doctor wife says Beetle has a medical issue.
On the one hand, I was EXPECTING David Cronenberg to direct a Daddy Daze movie. But on the other hand… it can’t be much worse than the comic already is, right?
@Melody Mare, on hiatus: As one of your many loyal fans, I appreciate your interesting post! Hope you are having a great time, wherever you are.