Even I’m not dorky enough to know if any of this MtG lingo is accurate
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Gil Thorp, 1/23/23
Maybe I’m going to get pushback for this by people who are and/or know actual teens, but my take on vaping, setting aside for the moment its purpose as a drug delivery system, is that it’s one of the dorkiest things I encounter in the real world on a regular basis. You’re sucking cotton-candy flavored mist out of an object that looks either like a tiny alto saxophone or something that would’ve been called a “deathstick” in a bad late ’90s cyberpunk movie. Not that a teen should take lessons on being cool from me, a 48-year-old man who blogs about comic strips, but it’s just sad that the Magic the Gathering nerds have internalized that vaping is too cool for them. To be fair, Nick refuses to buy into this dichotomy either, and is happy to share his cool guy vaping bounty with them. Nick seems like an all right dude, to be honest, maintaining his generosity despite the nerds’ rudeness!
Slylock Fox, 1/23/23
For some reason I assumed that the answer to “which way” was going to be a cardinal direction and I was about to pen a screed about how the liberal coastal elitists at Slylock Fox have constructed a mystery where you have to know about the relative locations of the zoo and lake in Central Park. But it turns out the answer relies on knowing which side of the bus the doors are on, and as a transit nerd I’m down with this one.
Honestly, the biggest story here is not Harry Ape robbing yet another bank, but the continued existence of a zoo in a post-animalpocalypse world. I suppose the animals could maintain it with empty cages and habitats as a monument to their former enslavement, but there are other possibilities, and they’re all much darker.
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/23/23
You know, for someone who’s dirt poor and also doesn’t really seem to care about living a healthy lifestyle, Snuffy sure visits the doctor a lot! And it occurred to me, looking at this strip, that we often see him in that situation with his shirt off and the top half of his overalls unbuckled, which (a) indicates that a decent amount of thought went into the question of “Given how Snuffy canonically dresses, what would it look like if he had to disrobe?” and (b) is really a blessing, considering how much further they could’ve gone with it.
313 replies to “Even I’m not dorky enough to know if any of this MtG lingo is accurate”
Edda nails it.
FC: Big Bil puts a hard check on Billy’s Oedipal fantasies. “No means no, kid.”
DT: I thought Paul was just a peaceful, run-of-the-mill art forger, and a rather naïve and overly trusting one at that. But today’s plot twist turns all that in its head, when it turns out his “agent” is not an ordinary art agent, but a secret agent with a license to kill. Paul obviously had hitherto unknown depths – but if he was really some sort of career criminal, or perhaps even a spy, why was he so naïve that he accepted Art’s offer of a “vacation”? It will take a really good detective to figure this out. I’m not sure if solve-all-problems-with-gunfire Dick is up really to the task
Dustin: I’m not sure, Ed, but maybe, just maybe, your children’s lack of enthusiasm at your return has something to do with your sour, sarcastic mood? Maybe they’d be happier to see you if you showed some happiness at seeing them?
Ed will of course just shrug off any such talk. To him, his children are just ungrateful bastards who deserve nothing better than sarcasm.
Gee, if only there was some sort of communication device Ed could have held awkwardly to contact Stell with.
@gardenornament: Yeah, I thought the same thing. Ed is an asshole who treats his family like shit, but expects them to adore him. Sure, there are a lot of guys like that, but to make them funny takes more skill than goes into this strip.
GT – When a Plugger wipes the board, it means he’s finally got around to cleaning his outhouse….
BG&SS – And it’s my only chance to see pap….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
9CL: Brooke finally shows some self-awareness, and on realizing that his comic is running out of ideas, breaks the fourth wall in despair. I’d better check the weather report for Hell and see if they’re having a cold spell.
9CL: In a desperate attempt to bring new ideas into the strip, Brooke has decided to sexualize Amos. It’s a doomed attempt – not even Edda takes it seriously.
MW: “I’m alright. I’m afraid the puppy isn’t. Poor thing got run over by a truck. I worked for hours trying to save it, but the injuries where just too bad. The way it looked, beggingly, at me with those big puppy eyes before I the anaesthetic took hold, as if it knew it was not going to make it…” (Breaks down into sobbing) “Sorry, this job is just too much for me sometimes…” (starts sobbing again) “But enough of that; now let’s enjoy ourselves and try not to think of the poor puppy” (breaks down into uncontrollable sobbing again).
Does push marketing work with vaping? This whole campaign has echoes of Tommy the Tweaker with his bagful of meth hollering “Git yer drugs here” in a public park.
Slylock Fox : my first exposure to this riddle was watching a TV show where they give different “fun” “facts” throughout 20 minutes. The idea of posing this riddle to the guests was to expose how human inference works, how we use the knowledge we have to comprehend the things we are saying and make logical assumptions on what happens next based on our previous experiences.
None of the guests got the answer, and they didn’t seem to understand HOW you’re supposed to get the answer even after the host explained the solution and showed them a picture of a city bus that has doors only on one side.
“We play Magic. We don’t vape” sounds wonderfully close to if Wizards of the Coast paid for an anti-smoking PSA in a 90s issue of Web of Spider-Man, but is wildly, wildly out of touch with what it looks like between rounds outside the average gaming store on Friday night.
SFox: Only $1.50 for a hot dog in New York City? Yeah, it’s made of people.
SF. Sure, the existence of a zoo brings up some dark possibilities, but any darker than the dog serving …hot dogs? When does Slylock learn the terrible truth, that all these silly mysteries, Count Weirdly’s antics and even Cassandra’s sexy games, are fakes, staged by the animal kingdom’s technocracy to keep their best detective too busy to solve the most horrible secret of all? “It’s animals,” Slylock shouts, running toward the lake, “Soylent Green is made of of animals!”
CS: Ed purchased his flamethrower from Merchants of Death End.
JP: “He grunted at me in Morse code. It’s an old hostage trick.”
GT: And if that pullover knit cap doesn’t say “cool,” I don’t know what does.
RMMD: By now, buzzards are circling Rex’s house, as one of the children has died of malnutrition and the other two are in serious condition.
@Merry Mirth: Really, yeah. In 2023 is there anybody in the world who doesn’t text when they’re running a half hour late for a meeting of some kind? Pluggers do that, for God’s sake.
MW: “There was an emergency at work. A dog bit your old friend Wilbur and he needed a massive dose of anti-infectives. That dog, that is.”
Magic, The Gilthering – Extra vape? It’s not like milk, Nick – it doesn’t spoil. Your salesmanship needs work. But as the kids would say these days, “Your ‘fit is valid.”
MW: First, Dr. Ed has a receptionist, so, no.
Second, is it somehow imperative that only the exact words, “angry sing-off” be used to describe that particular incident?
RMMD: Finally, maybe a plot. Lost love child? Ghost child? Loose ferret?
9CL: Fruit of the Nibelungen?
GT: So much for the updated version of “Reefer Madness.”
SFx: It’s a good thing Forest City buses are built like absolutely symmetrical boxes, with no features whatsoever to distinguish the front end from the back end, or this wouldn’t be a puzzle. I wonder how much Slylock paid the city transit authority to adopt this puzzle-friendly design?
SFx: I’m far more fascinated by what Max is doing than by the rather boring problem-solving (I refuse to call it a “mystery”) which is occupying Slylock. Riding Slylock’s tail like a personal elevator, and salivating over that yummy-looking hot dog. If I could get a hot dog like that for just $1.50, I’d be just as happy as Max is!
yCurtis: …. what…. the….fuck?!?
I’m not talking about Greg doing “The Robot” (although we should be grateful Billingsly doesn’t know how to portray doing ‘The Floss’). I’m talking about Greg getting his jollies in bothering Curtis doing his homework, after all the effort getting him off video games and watching TV to do homework.
SFx: I wonder if they change the solution for publication in countries where they drive on the left? Does anybody have access to the British or Australian edition?
@Uncle Lumpy, yesterMW: Yeah, if Moy had any sense of irony, years later, he would show up on campus as a pharmaceutical representative.
Sly: I want to know how long it will take for a bus coming from the zoo and traveling at 40 MPH to collide with the bus going to the zoo.
BGSS: You’d think Snuffy would be suffering from a number of ailments that made it difficult for him to sleep, but I forgot that Hootin’ Holler is in the midst of an oxy crisis.
MW: Have we discussed the ethics of this situation? Isn’t this analogous to a mom dating her child’s pediatrician? I’m pretty sure that’s a no-no.
GT: “Sure man, but have you ever played magic on vape? How’d you like to see that Silver Sea God come right out of the card and into the caf, man? I’m sorry, I have no idea what these things actually do or why we would want them. I assume they must be hallucinogenic? …Nicotine? Ah jeez…”
SFx: At first glance I assumed that Slylocks was calling the cops on the hotdog vendor. “Only $1.50 for a frank? This has got to be a front something…”
BGSS: “Also th’ oxys help with that. In fact, sometimes it’s right hard keepin’ aw– zzzzzzz“
Pluggers: Pluggers are old #3278.
Pluggers: This has got to be one of the most depressing entries since Rhinoman Hocks His TV.
DT: Once again a deus ex machina saves Tracy from doing any real police work.
BG&SS:
“Snuffy sure visits the doctor a lot”
Doc Pritchard runs a Medicare/Medicaid scam that would put Rex Morgan to shame. Snuffy’s incentive is a free plug of Brown’s Mule chawin’ tabacky whenever he gets a shot.
Curtis: Depressing as the social reality behind this is, it’s somehow refreshing to see this comic getting a bit of perspective. I think that lately there’s been a bit too much whining about how hard up Curtis’s family is and how they see themselves as poor. But today we see that Curtis’s family, while having problems making ends meet, are still living relatively good and that there are people who have it far worse.
@Guillermo el chiclero: “DT: Once again a deus ex machina saves Tracy from doing any real police work.”
To be really pedantic, shouldn’t that be “dea ex machina”? Agent 99 looks quite feminine, unless that jutting is from a set of concealed missile launchers.
Frazz: How can you fit your running routine into that jam-packed schedule?!?
Luann: I’m glad I don’t give any credence to astrology, otherwise I’d be concerned I share a star sign with Luann.
CS: If this is Batiuk enacting his secret plan to end Crankshaft, I’m here for it!
9CL: It’s cute that Brooke is calling attention to his strip’s repetitiveness. I guess if he consults the thesaurus enough, he thinks he’s being original.
Sly: That’s really not fair! It just looks like somebody didn’t feel like drawing a bus. No door, right. But also, no passenger side mirror? No signage or ads? No jaunty black stripes? They drew a block on wheels. It could travel up into the sky, carried away by a humongous toddler, for all I know.
@pugfuggly: “SFx: At first glance I assumed that Slylocks was calling the cops on the hotdog vendor. “Only $1.50 for a frank? This has got to be a front something…””
It’s a variation on the “first dose is free” myth. Those dogs are very addictive.
Dustin: Jeez, DustinDad, they’re not dogs!
FC: Oh shit, Thel is in one of her “moods.” It looks like they’re doing an active shooter drill. Meanwhile, Billy is stupidly suggesting that his father try to go against his mother’s wishes.
MW: Estelle is going to learn the lesson that she’s only worthy (no pun intended) of Wilbur’s love.
SF: Are the mirrors both on the other side of the bus, too? And why is the bus parked on the wrong side of the street, so passengers have to walk into traffic? And since when does Harry Ape take hostages? And since when does Slylock Fox call the police? AND WHO IS IN THAT HOT DOG?
@made of wince: “Sly: That’s really not fair! It just looks like somebody didn’t feel like drawing a bus. No door, right. But also, no passenger side mirror? No signage or ads? No jaunty black stripes? They drew a block on wheels. It could travel up into the sky, carried away by a humongous toddler, for all I know.”
It goes deeper than that. It’s a prerequisite for the puzzle working – it would be too easy if the bus looked like a real bus.
What may have happened here is that they first came up with the problem, started drawing the cartoon, and only after spending a lot of effort drawing Slylock and Max and the hot dog with loving attention (especially to the hot dog), and only then realized that they’d have to draw a completely symmetric bus, and that it would look like total crap. But then it was too late to change the puzzle.
@taig: “FC: Oh shit, Thel is in one of her “moods.” It looks like they’re doing an active shooter drill. Meanwhile, Billy is stupidly suggesting that his father try to go against his mother’s wishes.”
Billy is going to learn a very important lesson: Mom’s veto is absolute. Under no circumstances is it possible to appeal or overturn it. And woe anyone who tries!
Luann: Ooh, Quill is interesting now. Now that Evans has had years to give him a backstory, which he ain’t been bothered to do the first time around. He was just some allegedly cute guy with a few dorky affectations and nowhere to stay. Bernice never got him to open up, due to her being so constantly self-involved. I remember one trufann being convinced he was a homeless vet. Maybe he is…? The anticipation. I’m breathless.
Blondie: I know you can give the mailman outgoing mail but here Dagwood is clearly getting mail. So, why would Dagwood be complaining about the cost of a letter …he’s…receiving? I can see why Vinnie Vexman would be mad. He’s clearly a mob enforcer turned informer forced to live the chump life in Dagwood’s suburban hellscape under the witness protection program.
@taig:
On Crankshaft : SPOILER : these “Crankshaft does something stupid and dangerous to try to get rid of the icicles on his gutters” storylines almost NEVER end with Crankshaft getting hurt. And even when they do, it’s either very minor, or off-panel.
Batiuk didn’t erase the future where Crankshaft becomes a decrepit, wheelchair-bound, respirator-hooked vegetable so he could kill him off in the present; he got rid of that future so that Crankshaft can outlive us all, in the perfect health he currently is in.
SKYLOCK FOX: No one needs to worry here. I know how this works. The bus will explode if it goes below 40mph anyway, so see, problem solved!
SFx: That looks like a question mark above the hot dog, as if it’s thinking: “Is that mouse sitting on that fox’s tail? WTF?”
BF: The waitress needs to exhibit the Wisdom of Solomon and insist on cutting the salmon in half.
On second thought, the judicious approach would be to claim that the kitchen is clean out of salmon and make BOTH guests choose another dish, thus avoiding the stupid confrontation in today’s strip.
I did, however, enjoy the punchline.
@gardenornament: My imagination can beat any logic or accuracy– in my mind. It’s stubborn. It’s so frustrating.
H&L: Clearly, Hi is staring at his wife’s ass as he was about to make a “Junk in the Trunk” crack but thought better of it.
BARNEY GOOGLE & SNUFFY SMITH: Snuffy: “Aah! The blogger has caught on to our kinky affair, Doc! Everybody run!”
Yes, Luann, everyone knows you’re a vir- . . . oh, you said Virgo.
@Anonymous: “On Crankshaft : SPOILER : these “Crankshaft does something stupid and dangerous to try to get rid of the icicles on his gutters” storylines almost NEVER end with Crankshaft getting hurt. And even when they do, it’s either very minor, or off-panel.”
I’m pretty sure that Cranskhaft will emerge unscathed from this story, or possibly just get some minor burns. I wouldn’t be surprised if he manages to burn down his house, though.
“Hello, police” brings into question what exactly Slylock Fox’s connection to law enforcement is, and would help explain why we keep seeing the same criminals over and over again despite being caught because… because… I’m sorry, but that’s a damned school bus, not a public bus. It’s yellow. YELLOW! Get your act together, animal world!
***
I do play Magic and the only thing right there is “wipe the board”. “I’m bringing my [CARD NAME] into play” is just weird sounding and stilted, made worse by inventing a creature called “Silver Sea God” but using the name of the real game.
DtM: Funny how Wilson finishes his wife’s thought; “Not Anymore!” before she even finishes her sentence. What, exactly, did he think she was going to say? “Are you sorry we never…did that porn shoot?”
@gardenornament: @Rube: Ed: “Hmph! I don’t need this type of ridicule! I’m going back to playing with my pole!”
@Ukulele Ike: “BF: The waitress needs to exhibit the Wisdom of Solomon and insist on cutting the salmon in half.
On second thought, the judicious approach would be to claim that the kitchen is clean out of salmon and make BOTH guests choose another dish, thus avoiding the stupid confrontation in today’s strip.”
I’ve had this happen in real life, but we diners settled it much more smoothly – somebody just said, “OK, I’ll have this other course instead”. But that wouldn’t have made for a good comic, of course.
@Anonymous: Dang it! Now I’m not going to be set up for disappointment!
@nescio: Oh, well it’s a reassuring notion that SOME thing won’t change after the Animalpocalypse!
Gil: Don’t vape because it’s too addictive, and it’s too unpopular. Get cigarettes instead. The things that are also sold near the register in gas stations. They’re right there, and boy, are they ever addictive. They’re no longer cool, but they used to be, so you’ll finally be a hipster!
9CL – I mean, to be fair, revealing that Amos is a neo-Nazi is a bold step for this cartoon to take.
@made of wince: That’s not Quill, that’s Piro. You may have gotten them confused over their equally ridiculous names.
Also, the TruFan comments are stupider than usual, so I won’t post any today. No one deserves to read anything THAT dumb.
SFx – Well, clearly the zoo is filled with people in this zootopia multiverse, Josh. Get your hands off me you filthy ape….
GIL THORPE: “Sorry, dude, we’re geeks! Our high is harassing women online!”
GIL THORPE (2): Also, isn’t that Luke Martinez’s son? I always found that strange. He…doesn’t seem like the type to tolerate having a dorky child. You’d think that someone that desperate to be an “alpha male” stereotype would too busy browbeating his son to follow in his footsteps to be engaging in petty gloating toward Gil.
@gardenornament: “The dogs are $1.50, but the mustard? That’s gonna cost ya…”
9CL: ……
Well, if want to see if she becomes pregnant, I guess this is Brooke’s way of getting him to sing, “Kill da wabbit, kill da waaaabbbit….”
9CL-Deux: It could all be unfortunately worse. He could be wearing Wagner Group underwear and telling her to lie back and think of Chicken Kyiv…….
*looks around*
….I’ll…. I’ll show myself out…..
FC-“We’re launching a coup to overthrow Mommy’s tyrannical rule. Are you in?”
MW-“As Stell waits for (shoot we never gave this guy a name)”
JP-Meanwhile back at the hospital.
Spiderman-“Look at how all those bullets are not hitting them.”
GT – “I used to vape. But then I found out it gives you Habsburg jaw.”
Never mind the zoo. We should also ask from where the ingredients of those hot dogs came from. Or perhaps from whom.
@brendancalling: Hee hee, I love that I forgot the name.
@26 pugfuggly: Costco sells delicious hot dogs for a buck and a half. I’m pretty sure their cheap weenies are a front to keep people coming in to buy huge containers of cashews.
So in Slylock Fox’s world, is the pigeon allowed to drive the bus finally?
MW-“And then there were all the animal emergencies that I came across on my way over.”
9CL: Edda has never seen Amos in his underwear? Puhleeze, she has ripped them off so many times she should know that his Garanimals are all musically themed.
SF: Based on the castle with a strange tower in the background, this looks like the animals moved the Palais des Papes from Avignon to New York. Do our animal overlords have two popes, one in New York and one in Rome? I’m down for knowing more about the animal versions of Philip the Fair and Clement V!
No, no, you have it all wrong. The M:tG kids are too cool for vape.
Don Abundio, translated:
“We’re all broke and this is the coldest winter in years”
“I’m starving!”
“Some of us are planning to boil and eat Abundio”
“I don’t know how you can do such a thing!”
“I bet you wish you had this hot soup!”
9 Chickweed Lane: Am I more surprised that this strip shows self-awareness, no matter how ironic, or that Amos is a fan of Nazi forerunners? I think I know the answer to this.
@Liam:
MW-“As Stell waits for (shoot we never gave this guy a name)”
His name is Ed (which may, we hope, be based on a hidden disability).
Runs into Ian; “Hey Estelle. Read any good books lately? Like The Sun Also Rises, perhaps, heh, heh.”
REX MORGAN M.D.: Uh-huh. “Petey” is just a cover story this middle-aged blond mom, “Melinda” tells people when she’s too embarrassed to mention that her son Tommy fucked up again and is back in jail or rehab or whatever. See he “wrecked” their lives again and now he’s “in the back” (of a correction facility) where you can’t see him even though his presence is still there. It’s all wink-wink code here.
9CL – As usual, they are wandering aimlessly in a featureless void. They are wearing coats, so presumably they are outside and it is winter. Are they on a busy sidewalk in downtown Manhattan again?
Amos is already proscribed from licking her toe cleavage in public, I assume there will now also be a restriction on him stripping down to his underwear in public. Walking home in the middle of January wearing nothing but Wagnerian Underwear seems a fair price to pay.
Snuffy: I’m thinking Snuffy gets free medical checkups as part of Doc’s ongoing study of why Snuffy has no nipples and who knows what other horrific mutations we blessedly can’t see!
Nerdy enough to know: It’s not quite right but close enough for newspapers?
And anyway, MTG nerds are definitely vaping. Some even use the marihuana!
GT: One of the big factors driving teens to e-cigs is the perception that they are safer than traditional cigarettes (which they are, but only in the sense that driving while drunk is safer than driving while texting). Which would be an interesting angle to explore, if Gil Thorp hadn’t learned everything it knows about adolescent substance abuse by watching Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue.
SFx: Couldn’t Slylock just look at which way the passengers and driver were facing? Or notice that the left side of the bus has a more rounded corner, possibly indicating the windshield? I dunno, I guess I just don’t get a law enforcement system based on solving logic puzzles.
SlyF: You got me, Weber. I failed to notice that specific missing detail on your masterful artistic rendering of an orange rectangle with wheels. Good job, o weaver of webs.
9CL: Is a “paucity of ideas” really a problem for Brooke McEldowney? I’m not sure “They fuck in a lake again” quite reaches the standard for an “idea.”
MW: Remember the days when “Stell” was just Wilbur’s slimy nickname for Estelle? Now everyone, including the text box, calls her that. No, sir, I do not care for it one bit.
JP: How can you tell, Sam? You weren’t there and you’ve never met the kid. Unless… are we retconning again? Four months ago, which was yesterday afternoon in the context of this story, Lil Dunk had stopped talking due to his involvement in his family’s murders. Now suddenly the problem is he’s “never said a word?” Fucking hell, give him a pad and pen, you pissyfaced dunce. Or continue on with your endless bickering, that’s fine too. This crime seems to be slowly solving itself off-page with or (especially) without Sam’s attention.
SFx: the bus appears to be parked at the curb with the doors opening into traffic.
@Baja Gaijin: TBH, it’s been many years since I’ve bought a hot dog, but since the price was about $1.50 back then, I just assume it had like tripled or something.
I had heard that hot dogs were a loss leader at Costco. Seems kind of nuts to plan bulk shopping trip around sausages, but then again I’ve never tasted them.
I just assumed the answer to today’s Slylock Fox was ‘he drove to the zoo, you can’t drive a bus across a lake without sinking, and given that Harry Ape is, presumably, an ape, and not an aquatic or amphibious creature, he’d be much more likely to drive to the Zoo, where he might find a date, than to the lake, where he might drown.’ And my conjecture would have ended up be just as correct at Slylock’s nerd-knowledge of bus apertures.
MW: when did narration box become famous enough with Estelle to call her Stell?
Gil Thorp – I don’t know that Nick is sharing so much as giving away the first sample free. Unfortunately he has managed to get caught up in his first MLM scam, possibly with hope to raise money to start investing in crypto.
Slylock Fox – Put side the mystery and the question of the old zoo, those two kids playing baseball are suddenly realizing the implications of carnivorism in a world where animals (Except maybe the pigeons) have become sentient. Are there non-sentient animals that are considered fair prey? Is whatever gave sentience to some animals being withheld purposefully?
So long as this is the origin story of a dystopian YA novel of first generation following the Animalalypse that ends with the overthrow of Slylock, Max, and Princess Pussycat, I will be satisfied.
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith – One of the benefits of living in Hootin’ Holler is that the barter-based economy has actually made health care affordable with much less bureaucracy than flatlander insurance companies. And even though they can’t be said to be healthy, per se, their self-sufficiency and reliance on organic and non-GMO foods has spared them some of the health effects of the modern industrialized Western diet
9CL: “A Paucity of Ideas” would be a good alternative name for this strip.
C’shaft: Shouldn’t Crankshaft be on a watch list for these kinds of purchases by now?
DT: Lies, you look nothing like Barbara Feldon!
Dustin: Dustdad being appointed a judge is an absolute recipe for disaster. “You were driving while distracted? As in, using one of those new-fangled cell phones that my disrespectful punk kids are always on? Fifty years hard labor.”
JP: Wait, is Judge Duncan’s Son (does he have a name? I don’t recall him ever being given a name) suffering from trauma-induced aphasia from seeing his family killed, or does he have a chronic non-verbal condition like autism? I can’t recall and I’m not sure the writers do either.
Luann: Let’s see, Virgo…”logical, practical, and systemic in their approach to life”…”kind, gentle, and supportive friends”…”methodical, committed, and hardworking”….welp, that settles it, Luann just proved horosocopes are complete nonsense.
MW: Man, if only Ed and Estelle had some kind of portable communications devices which would enable him to explain the reason for his delay and avoid making her anxious and self-conscious!
Pluggers look as bad as they feel.
If you can remember when “Plugger” meant an average Joe with no need for elitist ideas or technology, and not a decrepit meat-sack who praises God for sparing them pain, you’re a Plugger.
@MKay: re RMMD: “ghost child” That’s it! Petey is her child who died in an auto crash years ago. This accident has brought back all the trauma of that event and she thinks he’s still in the back seat!
And yes, Muddy and Yvonne were once married, and I’ll believe that until it’s proven wrong.
FC: Bil, if you’re sitting on your fat ass with the newspaper while Thel clears the table and washes the dinner dishes, it’s best to keep REAL QUIET until after she finishes.
@Professor Well Actually: If you had dated Wilbur, you’d know the Narration Box looks pretty good afterwards. Yeah, it’s a bit of a square, but it shows up reliably, is always sober, and isn’t likely to dump you for the first rhombus to come along.
BB: there’s a lot I don’t understand about Beetle Bailey..I don’t understand how Beetle gets away with with his blatant insubordination and laziness
I don’t understand how Sarge gets away with physically abusing Beetle. I don’t understand why General Halftrak is still active at his age.
I remember Halftrak sexually harassing Miss Buxley. Is my memory correct?
Gil Thorp: Wasn’t there an arc years back, where a guy was promoting his tattoo business, trying to get teens as customers, but he was ultimately shut down because “TATTOOS ARE EVIL!!!”
Am I remembering that right?
Gil Thorp 2: They aren’t playing “Magic the Gathering” they are actually doing a summoning ritual to resurrect Poseidon and bring his watery wrath upon all of those who bullied them (because they’re nerds) and everyone else on earth as collateral damage.
“Do I vape? I’ve got at least two Vapes in my deck here. Three red, two black mana, does 4 damage but double that to air-types, but if I use it, I might get the ‘addicted’ status which means if I don’t keep playing it, I start taking damage. I mean, it’s a dangerous card, but not as dangerous as actually vaping.” – Lines from Vaping Madness, a short-lived PSA that aired on Local 58.
DtM: There’s obviously a tragic backstory to this cartoon: George used to be sorry that he and Martha never got any kids. Whether it was George’s low sperm count, or some problem of Martha’s they never got to know; fertility science wasn’t as advanced as it is today. But no matter how they tried they just couldn’t procreate.
This was of course a great source of grief for both of them, but George’s taciturn temperament and ideas that a man doesn’t complain about such things led him to just turn his grief inwards and turn into a bitter old man who never really could discuss the matter with his wife.
But then things changed when the Mitchells had a child and Dennis started spending his days with the Wilsons. Martha took him under her wing as a long-awaited substitute for the child she never had, but George could never stand the brat and his idiotic antics. He tolerated Dennis, mostly because he saw how it helped Martha get over the grief over her childlessness, but he found another kind of solace: Dennis served as a living example of how annoying kids can be, and showed him that he really had nothing to be sorry over. Instead, he began to feel grateful that they had dodged the child bullet.
And so, though he kept his grouchy facade and complained loudly about Dennis’s behaviour, inside he was finally at peace.
Gil Thorp: Wizards of the Coast must’ve plonked down some BIG change to get advertising in a prestigious strip like this! /s
Slylock Fox: Absolutely adore how Slylock, a cop, is calling other cops in a panic instead of intervening in the imminent bank robbery. His job is crushing dissidents not protecting and serving like those losers on patrol!
Snuffy Smith: “But seriously, Mr. Smith, I’m highly concerned about your health. We need to do tests immediately and I’m not optimistic.”
Who’s the better narrative box–MW or RMMD?
Narrative box RMMD is snarkier.
@ectojazzmage:
I thought the idea was that Slylock was a freelance private investigator. Who may sometimes work with the police, but isn’t on the police force himself.
@gardenornament: Man; that’s like the first ten minutes of Up, but even bleaker. Well done.
Josh tends to joke about Dennis being well… not menacing. And sometimes jokes about him being so passively-aggressively menacing that it delves into pure nihilism.
The fact that while Dennis’s menace level has plummeted for more years than I care to remember, but Mr. Wilson never changed, as if Dennis is still the Hellspawn that he used to be way way way back. And treats him as such.
So, personally, with me the joke here isn’t “Dennis is lame” or “Dennis is a sociopath” but rather, Mr. Wilson is the sociopath… who savagely hates an (at this point in time) purely innocent child for literally no reason.
That is my take on this.
@The Rambling Otter: I dunno; I like the idea that Slylock is part of the ‘political’ or secret police, like the SS or KGB, and not the actual police, like the Ordnungspolizei or militsiya. Sure, he’s tough enough on you when you’re helpless in the basement of the Lubyanka or the Hotel Metropole, but he’s far too lazy and scared to actually pursue you across town.
@ectojazzmage: Actually, I can’t imagine any other explanation.
If they were playing say… Yu-Gi-Oh or Pokemon Cards, the comic would be sued relentlessly to no end.
So, either the current writer got permission, or Wizards of the Coast is just very very lax with their copyrights.
@ectojazzmage: “Gil Thorp: Wizards of the Coast must’ve plonked down some BIG change to get advertising in a prestigious strip like this! ”
And a couple of months ago they showed the kids playing D&D. WotC must have payed through the nose for that product placement as well.
I’m sure it’s the ideal advertising channel for getting jocks (or, rather, aging ex-jocks and sports fans) interested in playing nerdy tabletop games!
@The Rambling Otter: “I thought the idea was that Slylock was a freelance private investigator. Who may sometimes work with the police, but isn’t on the police force himself.”
Yes, as I understand it that’s the premise of the comic. Slylock is the animal equivalent of Sherlock Holmes, a “consulting detective” who at times is cozy with the police force but is in their employ.
…only the comic is playing rather loose with that premise and sometimes showing Slylock acting as law enforcement and even responding to first calls at burglaries and other crimes. Though in the case of burglaries (last seen when Cassandra Cat broke into the museum to steal jewels) he might be acting as private security.
Anyway, he’s not the kind of guy to interfere on his own in an armed robbery and kidnapping situation. Even if he were an official police officer he would call for backup.
9CL: If Brooke thinks he’s being self-aware, he’s mistaken, as almost all of the strips for the past decade revolve have revolves around these two idiots being in a state of undress. The only really surprising thing here is that the strip references Wagner. I would have thought Brooke wouldn’t like Wagner because he and his followers believed in mixing classical music with pictures and ideas, whereas the conservative school of German music (led by the Schumanns and Mendelssohn) thought that it should adhere to the more conservative and abstract forms set forth on the eighteenth century. Last year or so there was a series of strips where Hugh and Amos were mocking an elderly woman who said that their concert reminded her of a pastoral scene, which I why think Brooke takes the conservative position contra Wagner.
Most importantly, how does Edda not know what underwear Amos wears? They barely have jobs and when they do perform their concerts degenerate into a live sex show. Plus, you know that Amos is probably too embarrassed to buy his own underwear, even online.
@gardenornament: For the next three months, Gil Thorp will feature students talking about the recent Open Game License controversy and how wonderful Wizards of the Coast is.
@Professor Well Actually:
Yes, people complained about his lechery so much that he canonically went to sensitivity training to overcome that.
SFx:
1: I figured the bus was facing left because the left end has a bigger windshield.
2: Hot dogs are $1.50 because Costco is the BuyNLarge of the Foxiverse.
3: Eh, why shouldn’t the sentient animals kill and eat each other, they do it all the time in Kevin and Kell.
@Baja Gaijin:
Costco sells delicious hot dogs for a buck and a half. I’m pretty sure their cheap weenies are a front to keep people coming in to buy huge containers of cashews.
@pugfuggly:
TBH, it’s been many years since I’ve bought a hot dog, but since the price was about $1.50 back then, I just assume it had like tripled or something.
I had heard that hot dogs were a loss leader at Costco. Seems kind of nuts to plan bulk shopping trip around sausages, but then again I’ve never tasted them.
They are still $1.50, which includes a fountain drink, and they are delicious. All-beef, a quarter pound. I don’t always pick one up when I’m in buying bulk nuts – which is one of my favorite purchases at Costco. Although, I prefer the mixed nuts, unsalted. Cashews are in the mix, though.
Their pizza slices are also fairly reasonable and delicious. When I worked near the Costco, I would often go there on my lunch break, grab whatever items I needed, get a hot dog, fill up my gas tank. Granted, for a family of two, there isn’t a lot we buy there, but the hot dogs are pretty high on the list. I am not a fan of their rotisserie chicken. I do miss their extremely cheap and delicious sheet cakes.
@gardenornament:
Let me guess, next week one of the nerds is going to be playing “Neverwinter Nights” on his computer. Or I guess one of the newer D&D games like… I dunno. NWN is an old game. Not as old as “Pool of Radiance” or “Eye of the Beholder.” But still old, they remastered it recently. I just started playing a save on my computer literally yesterday.
The starting plot, involves dealing with a horrific plague… that’s not uncomfortably close to home or anything like that….
Although if Covid-19 was called “The Wailing Death” maybe more people would start taking it seriously.
@Old School Allie Cat:
The Costco (at least in my city) sells a brand of potato salad. BEST GODDAMN POTATO SALAD ON THE PLANET. can’t remember the name though.
The perfect texture, perfect sweetness. Most brands tend to load it up with as much vinegar as possible… which I find disgusting.
My Mom (who is the only family member with a Costco membership) refuses to buy it for me anymore, because I literally just eat ALL of it, it’s SOOO good. But it’s also a very big container so… yeah. For the best.
@The Rambling Otter: Hey! I’ve played all three of those games! I miss those set-piece AD&D titles where you didn’t have to be online to play.
1 and Done: When Darth Vader gets horny.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: Planescape: Torment was the best. Tyranny, where you play the bad guy’s main henchman, was pretty good too.
love is... blowing up balloons with farts.
@Edda’s Piano Bench Has Seen Things: 9CL – “most all of the strips for the past decade have revolved around these two idiots being in a state of undress”
Edda wears a lot of swimsuits, but they never are shown undressed for intimacy. Amos always passes out immediately. We never see them in bed together, it’s always her lap dancing on the piano bench or him collapsed on the floor fully clothed.
@Voshkod: OMG, yes, Planescape: Torment is a classic. Never tried Tyranny. Played the first two Baldur’s Gate games but still deciding regarding #3….
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box:
They (as well as Might and Magic) got me into drawing physical videogame maps. Which segued into a huge hobby of mine. Writing down literal videogame guides, from scratch :)
Aunty Acid: I see what you did there, Ms. Acid.
Definitely heard “Users are Losers” playing in the background of that Gil Thorpe, guess someone played their Rough McGruff card.
@Professor Well Actually: The Phantom’s narration box is still the Gold Standard.
MW: We’re eating together and it starts going well
And maybe we’d go back to your condo, who can tell?
I guess there is no one to blame, who’s that on the ground?
Will things ever be the same again?
It’s the Wilbur countdown
The Wilbur countdown
We’re heading for dessert and still we stand tall
Maybe he hasn’t seen us at all
With so many light years to go, these plot arcs are slow
I’m sure that he misses you so
It’s the Wilbur countdown
The Wilbur countdown
FC: I’m pondering just what Thel forbade her brood from doing, such that Jeffy and PJ are visibly close to tears. Did they want to play hop scotch on the stove burners or something? Did Jeffy want to sail his toy boat around and around the sink? Was she telling them they *couldn’t* eat the entire box of cookies ten minutes before dinner? What, oh what, is happening???
Crankshaft: Here’s a $1500 drone-mounted flamethrower that would save him the trouble of climbing the ladder. The video where it’s clearing brush is great.
DtM: @gardenornament: “George used to be sorry that he and Martha never got any kids.”
This was explicitly referenced in the movie, of all things. In the midst of a silly romp that was trying to be Home Alone without the burglars, Mrs. Wilson sadly laments to her husband, “I would have been a good mother.” He clearly understood her pain, but had no language to reply. Then it was back to Dennis putting mouthwash in Mr. Wilson’s nasal spray.
@The Rambling Otter:
The Costco (at least in my city) sells a brand of potato salad. BEST GODDAMN POTATO SALAD ON THE PLANET. can’t remember the name though
____________________________
Willburp Weston’s Finest™, It’s a Costco exclusive, made with heavy duty mayo. (Free Salmon Square recipe on the label.) Tell ’em Mary sent you!
Gil Thorp: This arc is being adapted into a movie “Referee Madness” starring Jeff Goldblum as Coach Thorp who goes on a killing spree (just because) and ends up slaughtering the main cast.
Co-Starring the late Gilbert Gottfried (through pre-humorous recordings) as Marty Moon and Eddie Deezen as Gregg Hamm.
FC: “Billy, if my vote counted, none of you would be here.”
@Garrison Skunk:
Hahaha! :-)
@MKay: re RMMD: I have a friend with a small dog named Petey, so that was my first thought for a back seat passenger. But ferret works too. At least we can imagine it’s an interesting plot development for now…
@TheDiva:
“A Paucity of Ideas”: Brooke is saving that for the title of his autobiography.
@Baja Gaijin: ” Costco sells delicious hot dogs for a buck and a half. ”
I don’t know if they do it in the US, but IKEA in Sweden used to sell quite decent hot dogs for the equivalent of a buck. They’ve raised the price to $1.50 now because of the price inflation. It’s obviously not to make money on the dogs but to draw in more shoppers (or make them stay longer).
BGSS: “‘Bout the Only Time I Ain’t In Trouble Is When I’m Sleepin’” sounds like something that could be workshopped into a genuine Appalachian folk song. Quick — get that Alan Lomax feller back on the holler box!
@Baja Gaijin(#Y121) – Re holier than thou Grandma mash-up: I can’t think of an appropriate platitude for her to be spouting, but at least she’s getting in her dig at her harlot daughter-in-law. She’s probably imagining herself lassoing heathens with that rope. Or the melonheads if they do something stupid.
@Uncle Lumpy: Tommy looks really evil and mean in those old strips, and he looks mellow now. It’s either heavy duty tranquilizers or a lobotomy.
Day By Dave: Baja Gaijin set this up.
The Far Side Daily Dose – NSFBG!
Crankshaft – Hey, Pam and Jeff – an icicle is the perfect murder weapon. Just saying.
JP – Abbey is going to get the judge’s son to help her take down the Christmas tree and put up the Easter decorations. She might as well jump right to Easter because it’s sure that this story will still be going on at Easter. My prediction: there will still be no mention of the dead bodies at the lake house, and Gloria will still be shouting “What’s happening?” at the hospital.
Rhymes With Orange – Notice the dog. Dogs ARE good.
DT: Agent 99? If only anyone in this strip would get smart…
Heathcliff: In today’s glimpse into madness, a slug has apparently weaponised the “helmets with words on” schtick in order to turn the cats into his mind-controlled thralls. The owls are powerless to stop this.
Pluggers: You’re a Plugger if you’re…. (spins spinner with two large areas saying “old” and “fat” and smaller ones saying “cheap”, “distrustful of anything invented after 1970”, “filled with reverse snobbery” and “nostalgic for a time you don’t actually remember”) …old!
@TheDiva:
Nobody looks anything like Barbara Feldon.
Loose Parts: How to hunt in a road paving area.
Phantom: Sounds like Savarna just came again. Man, that woman has noisy sex!
Crank: Oh, come on! Like Ed would wait two days between getting a flamethrower and setting the house on fire.
@gardenornament: Yeah, well, Sweden. Here in AMURICAH, we would feel obliged to draw our sidearms and fight over our preferred entree.
@134 Uncle Lumpy:
Yes. She could be quite seductive.
@gardenornament:
I don’t know if they do it in the US, but IKEA in Sweden used to sell quite decent hot dogs for the equivalent of a buck.
When it comes to IKEA, Americans go nuts for the meatballs. Back in my era of non-stop work travel, I learned that a handful of major airports are fairly close to an IKEA. If my last day in those cities ended early, and I had time before my flight home, I would often go to the IKEA to kill time.
I could get a little bite to eat, then park in their living room section and work on my laptop comfortably. As long as you aren’t bothering anyone or being loud, they’re perfectly fine with having you there and will leave you to it. I’d make a quick run through the kitchen gadgets and dishtowels, get a little treat to have on the plane, and go to the airport. It is much more pleasant than trying to work at the airport. I highly recommend this to anyone out there who does a lot of work travel.
Nope. That MtG lingo is not at all accurate. Granted, all I know of the game is what I’ve seen of several years of one comedy team’s twitch streams, but I can tell you with 100% confidence that: a) the term “silver sea” means nothing, b) “silver sea god” means even less, and c) “I’m bringing my [big bomb creature] into play” is an extraordinarily weird turn of phrase. That exchange, in a friendly game between friends, would normally sound something more like “Let me count here. Did I play a land this turn? Okay, tapping [large number of lands] I cast [big bomb creature].” “In response, I cast [creature removal].”
In a less friendly, competitive context, the players would probably not say anything at all, but just tap their fingers against their cards to indicate their moves. In either case, these writers would have been much better off just staying vague and definitely not trying to bring in the uncontested world standard of card battling games.
MW – Sorry Stell – there was an emergency at work! We were closing up the place when my vet tech unbuttoned her blouse and said “Why don’t you check out these puppies?”
@Old School Allie Cat: “When it comes to IKEA, Americans go nuts for the meatballs. ”
It seems everybody, everywhere, is going nuts for IKEA’s meatballs. It’s their signature dish (which is a bit odd since, even though people talk about “Swedish meatballs”, the only thing that distinguishes them from other meatballs is that they’re served with lingonberry jam). But the meatballs are served in their restaurant and the hot dogs are served in a special fast-food area outside the checkout counters. At least that’s how it’s done in Sweden.
Hello, police! There’s a weird pervy mouse sitting on my tail!
@cheech wizard: “MW – Sorry Stell – there was an emergency at work! We were closing up the place when my vet tech unbuttoned her blouse and said “Why don’t you check out these puppies?””
“…and then I had to excuse myself that I had to rush off and make a house call to check out another pair of puppies.”
(silence)
“Pardon my French. We’re here to dine and wine and have a good time. But I hope I’ll get to check out your puppies afterwards.” (winks) “They look like they’re in excellent shape, but I’d like to examine them without their restraints, of course.” (winks again).
RMMD: Melinda’s hurt, crying, and scared, and June wants to conduct a household census.
@TheDiva: Dustin: Dustdad being appointed a judge is an absolute recipe for disaster. “You were driving while distracted? As in, using one of those new-fangled cell phones that my disrespectful punk kids are always on? Fifty years hard labor.”
Eh, still a better jurist than Randy Parker.
@Samurailizard: “Hello, police! There’s a weird pervy mouse sitting on my tail!”
“A mouse, sir? What’s it doing?”
“Buying hot dogs? On your tail? I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t think this is a police matter; perhaps you should talk to a psychiatrist instead.”
@Old School Allie Cat: When it comes to IKEA, Americans go nuts for the meatballs. Back in my era of non-stop work travel, I learned that a handful of major airports are fairly close to an IKEA. If my last day in those cities ended early, and I had time before my flight home, I would often go to the IKEA to kill time.
Watching couples head toward divorce was an entertainment bonus, I assume.
@Her Father, John Darling.: “Eh, still a better jurist than Randy Parker.”
And infinitely better than Sam Driver.
Ed Kudlick may not be a very pleasant person, and he bitches a lot about his work and how little money he makes (as a lawyer? Get real!), but he actually does the work he’s supposed to do and he’s not depicted as incompetent at it.
Snuffy Smith: It’s interesting that the Doc is using an old-fashioned, hand-pumped blood-pressure monitor, when the newfangled (as of 1981) automated ones aren’t that expensive. I’m guessing the reason his medical exams take so long, and mostly involve him slowly eyeballing the patient’s body, is that his office has no electricity (or running water, or disinfectants, or medications he didn’t whip up himself in a vat out back)….
Blondie: Are they really making jokes about “stamp price increases” in 2023? I guess it makes sense… If Dagwood is like most people, he has to buy an entire new postage-stamp book whenever he needs one stamp, because he can’t remember where he put the old book after he mailed a letter eight months ago.
Luann: Piro’s real name will be either “Clarence” or “Patsy.”
Retro Edge City: This belly-dancing recital at the Turkish restaurant seems like a fine plan. Turkish men are famous for their casual sophistication and gallantry towards half-naked women.
9CL: Richard Wagner, a very proud man, would have been shattered to learn that 21st century Americans can purchase underpants with his face on them.
Hot Dogs: Peter’s Market on Turney Road, Garfield Heights, Ohio, just SE of central Cleveland. The kind of old-world butcher you can only find these days in decaying postindustrial cities. When I visited my sister last month I lugged home two dozen of their magnificent frankfurters. Next time I’m gonna rent a U-Haul.
@TheDiva: “Dustin: Dustdad being appointed a judge is an absolute recipe for disaster. “You were driving while distracted? As in, using one of those new-fangled cell phones that my disrespectful punk kids are always on? Fifty years hard labor.””
And in civil cases he’ll have to be content with awarding enormous punitive damages.
And he’d make a lot of snarky, sarcastic comments in his summing up to the jury.
MW: Ed the veterinarian was held up a half hour giving mouth-to-mouth to a Neon Tetra.
@BigTed: “Snuffy Smith: It’s interesting that the Doc is using an old-fashioned, hand-pumped blood-pressure monitor, when the newfangled (as of 1981) automated ones aren’t that expensive. I’m guessing the reason his medical exams take so long, and mostly involve him slowly eyeballing the patient’s body, is that his office has no electricity”
What would you expect from a doctor who’s still driving a jalopy from the early 1930s, and not because he’s a vintage car enthusiast? Regarding electricity, we occasionally see electric appliances in Hootin’ Holler (like Snuffy’s radio) and there’s always some discussion about the myster of where the electricity comes from. I doubt the good people of Hootin’ Holler would let the gubernment (or however it’s spelled in the local dialect) run powerlines into town and install transformers and other weird equipment.
@BigTed: At least it’s a timely joke. The Postal Service just raised the price of postage effective yesterday.
Archie – Betty looks cornered. “Should I admit to Veronica that he didn’t have time to study because we were up all night fucking?”
Blondie: Does Dagwood usually take out his frustration over minor inconveniences on innocent service workers? I thought that was Ed Kudlick’s speciality.
Or maybe the postman is just engaging in their usual passive-aggressive tug-of-war? Well, the stamp price insinuation didn’t work, but calling Dagwood a hothead sure pushed a button or two.
Mutt & Jeff – Silly Jeff. If you want to find a diamond, give up golf and play baseball.
Luann: I hope Dinosaur Dracula knows they stole his look for Piro.
Slylock – Tomorrow’s mystery: Javier Javelina says Reeky Rat swiped the sandwich that Javier just bought moments ago from a street vendor. Reeky says that’s impossible, as there wasn’t enough time to eat a sandwich, and the only food he has on him is a hot dog. Why does Slylock think Reeky is lying?
Gonna get a lot of angry letters about that one.
Slylock – Slylock’s phone call has nothing to do with the bus. He’s reporting that hot dog vendor for openly displaying a bottle of ketchup on his cart.
SlyF – Transit lover or no, this just does not work. In order to make the puzzle puzzling, all signs of busness except for the wheels and windows have been stripped from the bus. No headlights. No tail lights. No branding. No ad for the laser hare removal place (yes Count Weirdly will zap Rachel Rabbit for a fee). The only saving grace is that Harry Ape is stupid enough to get away with robbing a bank only to be caught on an “inadequate lighting” violation for driving that bus. Now, the sight of that bus has left me with a craving for some cheddar. Can’t quite figure out why.
Slylock – I assumed the answer was going to be “toward the right,” based on where the bus is parked. If the bus is going left, then it’s on the wrong side of the street. Unless NYC has moved to the UK.
@Ukulele Ike:
Schumann’s Meats, in a Columbus neighborhood otherwise full of used-tire sales yards and plasma-donation centers.
@Isua: Yes, but on their lunch break they still have nothing to eat but crumbs off the ground next to the hot dog cart.
@Ringo Beaumont III:
” I assumed the answer was going to be “toward the right,” based on where the bus is parked. If the bus is going left, then it’s on the wrong side of the street.”
I thought so as well at first, but then I figured that this is one of these bus terminal places where there are single lanes for the buses, just wide enough for one bus at a time.
”Unless NYC has moved to the UK.”
Sorry, that wouldn’t work. British buses have the doors on their left side, for obvious reasons.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: For some time, Amos and Edda were depicted in more conventional intimate settings before the strip became nothing but fetishes. Given how one-sided their relationship is, it’s possible that Amos was never fully undressed during these encounters. I mean, if he gets turned on watching Edda throw up during morning sickness, there’s really not much for him to do.
@Merry Mirth: Can we just be grateful that June didn’t show us Ed awkwardly holding dog intestines? Please?
Slylock Fox: Man, that rabbit left one bodacious turd behind him!
Oh, he lost the ice cream scoop off his cone.
Never mind.
@made of wince: Well, it’s not like Evans puts a lot of work into making his ancillary characters distinguishable from each other. It’s a natural mistake to make.
Sally Forth: Ted, there’s a station that has cartoons all Saturday morning. It’s the PBS Kids station (locally 13.2). Not only that, they have cartoons 24/7.
Oh, wait. It’s PBS. That’s too sophisticated for Ted.
@Ringo Beaumont III: That’s why Slylock is calling the cops. “There’s a bus driving in the wrong lane!” Given his unerring focus on trivial offenses, there’s no way he’s going to get involved with any felonies, especially ones committed by an 800-lb ape. That’s a good way to get injured.
9CL – So today, Brooke explains why he only updates Pibgorn every two months.
Hi and Lois:
How many condoms does Hi have in his wallet?
Not enough.
The Family Circus: Kittycat says, “Hi!”
The magic nerds aren’t saying that vaping is too cool for them, they’re saying that since they’ve picked up a hobby more expensive than heroin they don’t have any spare dough for other drugs.
Dennis the Menace: Ew! Dennis loaded his pants with piss and spewed the contents all over the sofa.
@gardenornament:
The most obvious being no sense of humor regarding vehicular mayhem.
@Uncle Lumpy: Or, as the British would put it: “The moust obvious being nou sensue of humour reguarding trolley mauyheum.
JP – “You kidnapped Judge Duncan’s son?!!!”
“He came willingly!”
“You arrested Judge Duncan’s son?!!!”
RMMD – Melinda? Looks like this story is going to pivot from June being late for dinner to all those young virgins who’ve been found drained of their blood.
@Voushkoud:
“Trolley” FTW.
I have just finished reading Wikipedia’s entry for Magic: The Gathering, and am in dire need of a vape.
Gil Thorpe: I used to be one of those dorks playing magic at lunch (I’m still a dork I just play other card games now), and I can tell you no one ever “wiped the board”. Then again no cool dude in a raggedy hat ever came up to us offering drugs despite at least one of my friend group looking like that guy just bigger, so i’m not sure how realistic Gil Thorpe is.
Luann: The Piro Saga continues! It’s exciting that Luann is into one of Bernice’s exes, a sentence that burns less to type than I thought it would.
Zits: While today’s zits is.. fine I have come to figure Jeremy’s new car just.. fits teens today more. A friend I met in college has/had a car like that, and it’s more likely in this recession that a teen would get a parents old car than find a 60’s van that still somehow works. While I worried the new car wouldn’t have as much personality as the van, it does, at least a little.
On The Fasttrack: HAHA ROSE TRELLIS IS A TERRIBLE BOSS AND CAN GET AWAY WITH IT WITH NO CONSEQUENCES DUE TO OUR CORPRATE HELLSCAPE! HAHA…. as you can probably guess I get a little tired of it even if I love rose as a character and this visual gag. It’s not bills fault nothing has change for corprate monsters in 30 some years.
Slylock Fox: Slylock having a modern smartphone just.. feels wrong. Ducktales knew good enough to give Scrooge a flip phone, which wouldn’t be much better but at least would fit his whole sherlock as a furry astetic better.
It seems the post-animalpocalypse world isn’t an egalitarian utopia, what with the pigeons forced to peck at the crumbs dropped by the hot dog cart in order to survive.
@Sequitur:
Dennis the Menace: Ew! Dennis loaded his pants with piss and spewed the contents all over the sofa
__________________________________________
Competing against “Marvin” for the crown of King of all Bathroom Humor in Media : Menace level High.
9CL-Is someone planning on retiring?
@Jacob Mattingly, OTF: Still not as bad as J.C. Dithers beating the living shit out of Dagwood in the office for decades without ever seeing the inside of a courtroom.
Beetle Bailey-Beetle’s getting ready for the congratulatory beating.
@Little Guy: It’s consensual, man. Don’t kink-shame.
@Liam:
If the snark targets keep retiring, we’ll all be sitting around trashing Phoebe and Her Unicorn.
@191 Anonymous:
You betcha. Dagwood really likes getting his ass kicked.
@Ukulele Ike: $152: Rent a U-Haul? Can’t get decent frankfurters in NYC? Isn’t Garfield Heights just south of what was Slavic Village, now mostly meth heads and gang activity since all the old bohunks died off?
9CL – Like grandmother, like granddaughter, at least when it comes to their taste in men.
Slylock Fox-So instead of calling the New York City police department Slylock is calling Deputy Duck who is all the way back in Animalville.
@Uncle Lumpy:
It’s a shame that Phoebe is a child.
Slylock Fox-“There is some stranger trying to steal my mouse.”
@Sequitur: Yow. That’s an ass-kicking epic!
GT: “I’m bringing my Silver Sea God into play.”
“No matter! I’m going to wipe the board!”
This dialog could also be used word-for-word by Brooke in 9CL in Edda/Amos foreplay.
@Guillermo el chiclero: I haven’t tried every butcher in the five boroughs, but I know my Polish places in Brooklyn and the famous Schaller & Weber on the Upper East Side don’t produce top-rate hot dogs. The best I can do here is the old-fashioned (skin-on) Nathan’s at the grocery store, which are pre-packaged someplace.
Not familiar with Slavic Village….but Ukrainian Village is in Parma, on the other side of the river. Home of State Meats, best kielbasa and Slovenian sausage in greater Cleveland.
BG&SS: Given that Snuffy probably passes out from time to time on railroad tracks, in horse troughs, or outside bear dens, I’d actually think his sleep is often a bit fraught.
@Ukulele Ike: I believe Slavic Village was Big Chuck Schadowski’s boyhood stomping grounds. It’s just south of the steel mills. One of my cousins got married at St. Stanislaus there.
Vintage JP – Here we go. And who pays for all that travel Kevin contacts you to arrange?
At least Kevin isn’t standing around shouting “What’s happening?” for days. Thank God.
Juliet Jones – This has become a hate read for me. A well drawn hate read, but a hate read nonetheless.
I can’t stand these people. By that I mean everyone in the strip – Juliet, Eve, their boring father, and the changing cast of guest characters. Every character* is a simple minded jerk who falls in love at the drop of a hat. It’s always the truest love that ever true loved until it suddenly ends and life goes on as if it never happened.
*Except for Juliet, who is so repressed that she wears turtleneck bras.
MW: “As Stell waits for Libby and Pierre’s veterinarian…” The Penny Saver stopped publishing “Ask Wendy” and now Wilbur is writing the narration box.
@Joshua K.: It’s a lot easier to justify spending 63 cents on a stamp when you only do it two or three times a year, mostly to send cards to your elderly relative who still doesn’t understand email. (I guarantee you that Dagwood pays his bills online from his work computer, in between games of Fruit Ninja.)
@Liam: Brookins had his final “Pluggers” strip on Sunday
Plugger: If anybody has wondered what a plugger would look like after undergoing Egyptian mummification today you got your answer.
GT: Isn’t Danny Bonaduce a little too old to be hanging out in high school cafeterias?
GT: There are five colors of spell in Magic and silver ain’t one of them. I myself am just dorky enough to know that.
SFx: Speed 3 certainly took a long circuitous path to release.
9CL: If Edda is worried about her comic experiencing a paucity of ideas where’s she been the last ten years?
C-Shaft: Does the flamethrower mean that Crankshaft is going to cause thousands of dollars in fiery property damage? No, he’s already doing that by having a grill and being Ed Crankshaft.
DT: Hey, she may look like Grace Jones fucked the Unabomber but give this lady her due. She’s doing Dick’s job for him.
HtH: Ah yes, Vikings were known for marauding around Europe and ruthlessly calling the royals big meanies.
JP: I don’t usually add “in his pants” to these things but when Detective Yelich says “He came willingly” and you have Abbey caressing a teenage boy’s arm…
Luann: Okay, so she’s half right.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Re Pluggers – There’s a terrible curse on her tomb: anyone who opens it will spend eternity in a checkout line behind an infinite number of pluggers who wait until the order is through before they dig around in their purse for their checkbook, then laboriously write a check.
Off topic: If anyone can’t decide what to make for supper tonight, there’s a photo of Stargazy Pie on the cnn.com website. Sorry for no link, but I’d reduce this site to the size of a postage stamp.
There’s also an article that provides the history of the pie.
@211 I speak Jive:
Is this what you’re talking about?
@Professor Well Actually:
MW: when did narration box become famous enough with Estelle to call her Stell?
_________________________
“Hokey smoke, Bullwinkle, Willburp has abducted the Narrator!” Be sure to turn in next time for the stunning conclusion:”BYE, BYE BILL” or “A FAREWELL TO CANNONS”
@I speak Jive: #211: But before fumbling for their checkbooks, after their bill has been tallied they’ll remember their coupons and fumble for those. When one turns out to be expired they’ll demand to see the manager.
The Familliar Mucus : Isnt anyone gonna mention the fact that Dolly is giving the finger to Bil and Jeff (or at least their signatures).
@215 Garrison Skunk:
Actually, it’s the index finger which is more of a “Com’ere you bastard!” and not a “Fuck me/you!” gesture.
Oh hey, Gil Thorp has finally caught up to the era of cringy 90s anti-drug PSAs!
“Sorry, Nick! But MANA is *our* anti-drug!”
Dirk Twacy Hollistic Defective: “99, I asked you not to tell me that.”
@Uncle Lumpy: I’ll see your Barbara Feldman with Diana Rigg.
@Sequitur: Yes, that’s it! Mouth watering, isn’t it?
@Guillermo el chiclero: Or they’ll realize that they forgot the checkbook, so they have to go through their purse and pockets to find enough stray bills and loose change to cover the bill.
@214 Guillermo el chiclero: You forgot that at least 82% of the coupons were for products discontinued in the Nixon administration. Won’t stop them from arguing with the manager for five minutes for each of the 152 coupons.
@221 Baja Gaijin:
And don’t forget that most of the coupons were for items they weren’t even trying to purchase.
@Sequitur:
Do the Keanes have five fingers or four? It may make a difference.
MW: My wonderful veterinarian is a good personal friend whom I’ve known for thirty years. But she likes my cats as much as she likes me. And if I let one of my cats get so full of parasites that the cat was somewhat lethargic, which is what Estelle seems to have done to Pierre, my vet would have a few serious things to say to me, and I would expect no less.
Are you valuing your potential romantic opportunities over your duty to advocate for your furry clients, Doctor Harding? I hope not! Your willingness to be late because of an emergency is a good sign, but I am watching you.
@I speak Jive: I’d be very willing to try that pie, but I also wonder if eating more than one small piece would produce an epic case of heartburn.
@Effluvius Erratus: Good theory!
@211 I speak Jive: Stargazy Pie. I’d rather eat a plate of Mary Worth’s muffins that that monstrosity. It’d be a tougher choice between that pie and a salmon square.
@222 Sequitur: Good catch.
@224 Poteet: Pierre caught the parasites from Wilbur. ‘Nuff said.
@Baja Gaijin: Pierre likes to watch Wilbur scoot around the apartment dragging his ass on the carpet. It’s one of things that makes the relationship work for him….
@Guillermo el chiclero: Isn’t Danny Bonaduce a little too old to be hanging out in high school cafeterias?
Danny Bonadouchbag (as a local DJ who used to be his on-air partner calls him) was probably too old for high school cafeterias when he was 6 years old. And was probably into stuff a lot stronger than vapes at that age too.
GT: The real reason the card players ain’t biting on the vape is because if you’re playing MtG you ain’t gonna have the spare cash for something like *drugs*.
JP: “Fool! You kidnapped the wrong kid! THAT’S Charlie Brown!”
DT: “Blow you off to the cops.” No, that’s the drunk detective in JP.
No new post today?
Sigh, this site has become such a part of my morning routine that I get unreasonably upset when it doesn’t go up on time. No disrespect to Josh at all, it’s just… how am I supposed to start work when i haven’t read/made any comics snark yet? I literally don’t know anymore. Anyhow…
MW These two seem perfect for each other, in that they sound like two chatbots conversing. “Please excuse my tardiness, my occupation as a veterinarian occasionally requires work outside of regular hours.” ” I have accepted your excuse as legitimate. Commencing chitchat: I have noticed your shirt has no buttons. Is this due to fashion or poor fine motor skills? ”
H&L: Ha, men: always talking about things other than their kids! It sure makes their wives furious, and themselves…sad? Is this a thing?
Dustin: But Dustin’s mom, wouldn’t a statue of limitations mean that after a certain amount of time, you have no right to bring action against transgressors? Sorry, but if you want to complain about women in their 50s wearing bikinis, you’re going to have to start when they’re 43, whether they’re wearing something skimpy or not.
Blondie: Just picturing Dag on all fours, sniffing his dog’s breath for just a whiff of that sweet odor of cold meatloaf…
MW – Ed’s going to have a couple more puppies flopping in his face by the time the night’s done.
@Poteet: I think any amount of that pie would result in heartburn, and heartburn is far from the worst thing that could happen.
@Baja Gaijin: At least the muffins don’t stare at you.
@gardenornament: Josh probably just set his timer for the blog incorrectly- it happens sometimes. I’ve sent him an email, but it’s still early in LA, he won’t notice it for awhile.
GT – I’m gonna wipe the board – on second thought, I’m giving you the shitty end of the stick. And just for some D&D context – it’s what the Romans used to wipe their asses at public excrementoriums….
Potentially thread-killing Tuesday comments:
9CL: I didn’t think anything could make Amos less appealing, but lo and behold he wears classical composer Underoos.
C’shaft: “Oh, hi, Lilian, I didn’t recognize your voice. Look, just leave the old bastard to it and if looks like he might harm anyone other than himself, just give us a call back mmmmkay? Maybe this time we’ll be lucky.”
Dustin: How DARE a post-menopausal woman show off her body, especially in a career where she has out of necessity devoted a lot of time and money to keeping said body within the narrow beauty standards imposed by her industry? The GALL!
JP: “Oh for fuck’s sake, I can’t TAKE it anymore!”
“…You can talk?”
“Of course I can talk; not that it’s a huge accomplishment given how much you’ve been blathering on since before Christmas. It’s simple: my dad is crooked, he shot my family and framed me, and the Corrupt Cop and Drug Cartel have been hunting him down ever since. Now can we MOVE ON, please?”
Luann: Nope, nothing but a pile of wet wood.
MW: “Sorry I’m late; I had to put a dog down; how’s your day been?”
Pluggers deeply resent even accidental puns.
Mary Worth –
Ed: Sorry if I smell like anal glands!
Stell: It’s fine. I like your freedom of expression!
Luann: Piro’s stupid star looks like mange. Does Luann have enough mite to please him?
@I speak Jive: Gaze not into the muffin, lest the muffin stare back; and meddle not with Mary Worth, lest you become a meddler.
@TheDiva:
Haha out of the mouths of babes!
@Old School Allie Cat:
That’s quality veterinary humor!
DT: So just how does 99’s revolver work since the barrel is completely separate from the cylinder? Is there a tiny elevator for the bullets to get up to it? You’d think the artist in this strip of all strips would be a little more knowledgeable about lethal weapons.
JP: has anyone noticed the mountain of dead bodies at the lake house?
@245 Professor Well Actually: The Rottweilers did. They’re enjoying all the fresh meat though the bullets are hard on their teeth.
@Ned Ryerson: Self expression is the gateway to great art. Especially for cocker spaniels….
@Baja Gaijin: the shootout at the lake house should go down I’m history with the St Valentines Day Massacre and the Shootout at the OK Corral.
9CL – Amos wears underpants featuring a portrait of a different composer on each cheek. That must look hilarious! I’m sure I would be guffawing my head off if only comics were a visual medium so that I could actually see this ridiculous sight.
Yesterday, he ripped the buttons off of his coat, tore his turtleneck sweater in half, and removed his pants to show the Wagnerian Underwear. Today, the buttons have sewed themselves back on, the sweater is knitted back together, and he is wearing clothes again. And Edda has her coat on the whole time, so presumably this all took place outside in the empty void or on a crowded Manhattan sidewalk, who knows? as there is not a single background detail in either day’s strip, no we have no idea where they are or what is going on around them.
LUANN – Oh, yay. Piro is back and now is apparently a hunk and not an unwashed sponge who smells of patculi and ball sweat. Does this mean that the whole “Romance Novels are the future!” plot is now over, as it existed just to bring Piro back? Or will Bernice be so liberated by her new reading habits that, when she sees Piro again, she throws caution to the wind and takes off her jacket and leaves the top button on her collar unfastened so that P can get a glimpse of her neck cleavage (the only kind she got)?
Looks like a lot of us are saving our snark for when Josh gets the site back on line. A snark is a terrible thing to waste.
@mvg: #244: Tell me about it. It looks more like a track meet starter pistol than a real gun.
@TheDiva: #238: re-Dustin: Da noive of her! Da noive!
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: Yeah, it’s not like I gave him much thought, but I remembered him as kind of a sullen creep who would only be attractive to someone with Bernice’s self-loathing issues. Apparently he’s actually James Dean or something.
@pugfuggly: #233
It’s okay…we hear you. We’re going to start a new 12-step group: Joshaholics Anonymous.
Nice crossover with Judge Porker as Wilbur has discovered Fabiana fucking Pedro.
@Professor Well Actually: I assume the elves of narrative convenience have cleaned up the site already.
Last Saturday, Piro asked about Bernice six times in about five seconds. Cue for Luann to move in, you betcha.
MW: Why are Ed and Estelle sitting side by side at their dinner table? I wouldn’t think couples normally do that unless they’re on a double date with the other couple sitting opposite them. Or are they both just really ignorant of social norms?
A & J: I chuckled at today’s strip – I always give my hubby the greater portion of dinner, because he has a much bigger appetite and I don’t want him to go hungry. It makes me happy! :-)
FC: Jeffy is prepared for medical school, for sure!
@Guillermo el chiclero: “Looks like a lot of us are saving our snark for when Josh gets the site back on line. A snark is a terrible thing to waste.”
At least I am, but if the new post isn’t up in an hour or so I’ll post it here. One can always re-post in the proper place later.
Is Josh okay? Did he get washed away in the rain?
@Daisy: A & J: I chuckled at today’s strip – I always give my hubby the greater portion of dinner, because he has a much bigger appetite and I don’t want him to go hungry. It makes me happy! :-)
***
Madame Ovary does that for me, too. And after reading A & J today, I got an insight into why.
@pugfuggly: #233
“MW These two seem perfect for each other, in that they sound like two chatbots conversing. “Please excuse my tardiness, my occupation as a veterinarian occasionally requires work outside of regular hours.” ” I have accepted your excuse as legitimate. Commencing chitchat: I have noticed your shirt has no buttons. Is this due to fashion or poor fine motor skills? ”
Chaos ensues as Estelle slowly morphs into “M3gan” the homicidal AI doll and rips Ed apart.
Ned RyersonJanuary 24th, 2023 at 6:43 am Reply
@Old School Allie Cat:
That’s quality veterinary humor!
***
Yes, it is. Better than what I have to offer up. But yet, it must be said:
Ed has a combination business as a veterinarian and taxidermist. His motto: Either way you get your dog back.
Is Josh dead?
@Daisy: I put the food in serving dishes and set them out on the table. The Ukulele Lady then helps herself to the lioness’s share.
It means more dishwashing time later on, but she thinks it’s genteel or some such shit.
@Guillermo el chiclero: I made a list of the strips I plan to snark when Josh wakes up. With paper and pen, because I’m a Plugger.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Gee, I hope not. Some of those snarks I wrote down will be pretty funny.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: #262
…totally a conditioned response, just as I always reach for the kibble when kitty’s food dish is empty…even though she just ate five minutes ago. She has me well trained. :-)
I hate to admit it, but I almost found Pluggers to be amusing today.
MW: “What’s wrong, Ed?”
“Dog-gone!”
@Ukulele Ike: #266
“I put the food in serving dishes and set them out on the table. The Ukulele Lady then helps herself to the lioness’s share.”
The lionesses always get the largest share – they’re the ones who do the hunting and killing for the pride! Girl power!
@Daisy: Some higher end restaurants seat couples like that. (Leaving aside the issue of how June felt like drawing the scene, which was probably a bigger factor.)
9CL – Amos switched to composer underpants after Edda made him get rid of the pair that had Pinnochio on the front.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
Hey, no theology!
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
Is Josh dead?
He got delayed at the supermarket when he had to help two old people with a medical problem, then he had to stop and help at a traffic accident on his way back home.
@Uncle Lumpy: In three days, he will rise again!
If Josh is more than 15 minutes late, are we allowed to leave early?
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: “MW – Ed’s going to have a couple more puppies flopping in his face by the time the night’s done.”
Those puppies actually look rather floppy already in panel 2. Is Stella going braless tonight? Perhaps she took some fashion advice from Dawn…
@Flipper: “If Josh is more than 15 minutes late, are we allowed to leave early?”
No. Nobody leaves until Josh shows up, haven’t you heard that rule?
Josh is busy giving mouth-to-mouth to a sick Pomeranian.
OK, I’ll post some snark now for the benefit of the early leavers:
BG&SS: Is Silas a stupid hillbilly who doesn’t really understand what “lower prices” means? Of course not! He is a cunning monopolist who knows that with no competition, he can set whatever prices he wants on the essential goods that have to be imported into Hootin’ Holler, but now at least he can placate his irate customers by saying that he’s “lowered” the prices. The customers don’t buy into this, of course, but know that if they complain too much, Silas will cut off their credit, and then it’s back to starvation. American capitalism at its finest!
@Merry Mirth: “Josh is busy giving mouth-to-mouth to a sick Pomeranian.”
Josh is a good man, and we already know that dogs are good!
Luann: Red alert! Luann is trying to look seductive! Run for your lives!
Luann: I’m a bit surprised at how quick Luann’s sexual awakening was. And all because she overheard her mother and her BFF getting all
wetworked up over some romance novels. The power of the word!DT: Agent 99 is way cooler villain than the geekish Art Dekko. I hope we’ll get to see more of her – she should get a story arc where she is the main villain, and not just be a walk-on character in this story.
@gardenornament: “No. Nobody leaves until Josh shows up, haven’t you heard that rule?”
Dang it. Then we should at least all switch desks before Uncle Lumpy shows up.
Dustin: So Helen has tired of fat-shaming her husband and turned to age-shaming some random woman on the net who dares to post bikini pics? Well, look who’s talking! Helen, need I remind you that you are about the same age, and only last week you were sending out lingerie pics to people you met on a dating site?
@Liam: ….dd he get washed away in the rain?
Let’s hope he hasn’t gotten shot. California’s been particularly gun-nutsy the past several days.
Phantom: So Savarna insisted on turning the prophesy back on track? Can you be sure of that? The Bandars are still around, aren’t they, and they were not in the prophesy. All you have to do now is to avoid getting shot!
@gardenornament: College Urban Legend:
Professor: “I left my hat on the front desk, therefore you should have deduced that I was coming back. I’m marking you all absent for yesterday’s class!”
Next day, Prof walks into an empty classroom, with a hat on every desk.
@gardenornament:
I’m just waiting for the Phantom to stick around a couple extra days trying to stage-manage everybody into voiding the prophecy, and getting shot in the process.
Crock: I guess the joke is that the vain officer whose name I forget is not just extremely vain, but also a craven coward who is prepared to betray his comrades at the mere threat of violence? But it doesn’t really make sense – why not tell them everything? What possible harm could be caused by telling these Bedouin raiders your beauty secrets? It’s not really like you’re competing for the same women, is it?
Crock: I’m a bit concerned for the health of the enemy commander – who by the way looks a lot more Turkish than Bedouin (did the Ottoman empire really extend that far to the west?). He should know better than to go topless in the scorching desert sun (while his men are sensibly covered up). What good will knowing some French beauty secrets be if you’re dying from skin cancer?
@Flipper:
I’m just going to show a movie. Old Yeller or Marmaduke?
@Inspector Gotcha: I can see it now. A stranger comes up to Josh in a supermarket and says “Excuse me — I’m feeling desperately in need of some jokes about a legacy soap-opera comic strip. Can you help me?”
“I’m a comics blogger, so, yes!”
… and if you’re not back at your correct desks in one minute, it’s gonna be Dead Poets Society, I’m warning ya!
@Uncle Lumpy:
I’m just going to show a movie. Old Yeller or Marmaduke?
Doesn’t matter – just keep the sound low – some of us are trying to sleep.
@Daisy: #271: To be fair, the male lions do contribute but in a supervisory capacity. Naturalists and wildlife experts have noticed a recent change in lions hunting tactics (Jules Rivera take note). The males, especially the pride leaders, have to take an active part in the kill because lions are taking on much larger game which they never would’ve attempted before, like adult bull elephants.
@gardenornament: Oops, I realized I just called Estelle “Stella”. I guess that makes me actually worse than Wilbur. Bad me!
@cheech wizard: “9CL – Amos switched to composer underpants after Edda made him get rid of the pair that had Pinnochio on the front.”
Amos lied to her all day, but the underpants never felt a thing. In Chickweed they say, that Amos’ tiny penis grew three sizes that day. But still not enough for a visible bulge. Oh well, she’ll always have Seth.
Phantom: Hey, Stripey, here’s what to do. Just use Savarna as a human shield and let her take the bullet meant for you. Your obligation to her only meant busting her out of the prison. It said nothing of delivering her safely to a friendly country.
JP: Dammit, Neddy! Couldn’t you have let the poor kid kick the football just this once?
Luann: Luann is attempting sexy bedroom eyes but to the rest of us it comes off as Down syndrome.
Sorry, Josh. I couldn’t wait any longer.
@Guillermo el chiclero:
Couldn’t you’ve just thought of baseball, or something?
Dustin: Elizabeth Hurley can pose in a bikini as much as she wants. Just saying.
@Daisy: #258 – I always give Mr. Jive the larger share, too. He eats more than I do.
Did anyone else have problems with Seattle Times today? I could not open any comics.
I’m beginning to think Josh made very merry last night, very merry indeed.
@I speak Jive: Wait . . . the Seattle Times is down and Josh hasn’t updated. Has anyone checked on the Pacific Coast lately?
@Guillermo el chiclero: “Luann: Luann is attempting sexy bedroom eyes but to the rest of us it comes off as Down syndrome.”
“Sexy Down Syndrome” – that sounds like a particularly tasteless and non-PC Halloween costume.
@Professor Well Actually: “Dustin: Elizabeth Hurley can pose in a bikini as much as she wants. Just saying.”
There are lots of women well past 50 who look good in bikinis nowadays. Helen is just venting her frustration over her own saggy boobs. (Hint to Helen: wearing a bra might help).
I don’t know about the MtG slang, but the way he says “no matter” is exactly what a MtG player who thinks he’s eloquent would say.
Maybe we should all email Josh (there’s an “Email Josh” buttton at the bottom of the blog) and say,
WAKE UP!
I’d do it but I emailed Josh recently and I don’t want to wear out my welcome.
@Dennis Jimenez: If I could express myself, I’d never have to leave the house!
@Professor Well Actually: Did some drunk investigator kidnap him to Spencer Farms, or did he have an unfortunate encounter with Barbara Felton off the Florida Coast?
Or is he entertaining some fifty-something who is/was wearing a bikini?
@Ned Ryerson: https://youtu.be/GsVcUzP_O_8
@Guillermo el chiclero: #296
I wonder if that might be because the lions’ customary prey species (antelopes, zebras, for example) are being driven away by habitat destruction, for example? Regardless, that is an interesting observation. Thank you!