Is it March where Dustin and Meg are, do you think
A fun fact is that Dustin premiered in January 2010, at the low point of the Great Recession, when unemployment was at nearly 10% and entry-level jobs that paid a living wage were extremely hard to find, which makes its central proposition — that young people who move back in with their parents because are lazy pieces of shit — all the crueler in retrospect. With unemployment now at about a third of that, things are a little different, but you can’t blame Dustin for keeping track of how the world changes around his eternal 24-and-underemployed situation to see what the vibes might be like to an outside observer.
On top of everything else, that’s clearly just a crossword puzzle. Dagwood has finally lost it, I regret to inform you all.
Family Circus, 3/18/23
You might think that the “best part” would be the opportunity to spend time with a beloved grandparent! You’d only think that if you hadn’t met her, though.
126 replies to “Is it March where Dustin and Meg are, do you think”
FC – I think the dog is throwing the gender balance of the room off, Billy.
JP – I’m truly impressed with April’s taste in fiction. Helene Wecker’s The Golem and The Jinni is a great book and I look forward to seeing how its presence in this scene foreshadows its themes of love and liberation playing out through the next arc. At any rate, the battle scene at the Central Park pool can rival any Kaiju fight.
Phantom-Desk Jockeys? I don’t know who to bet on in a battle between pens and arrows. Doesn’t that usually go to the pens?
H&L – Auuuuggghhh! The Flagstons structure there finances like my wife and I do! Stop the world, I wanna get off!
Luann – Charcoal on canvas. Bold media choice! By which I mean “why would you do that?”
Spiderman-Please join us for a story that is already in progress.
Spiderman-Join us as we once again revisit the “Spider-Man In Miami” story.
RMMD-And no insufferable balding fat man falling over the side and seemingly living.
MW-Maybe if Estelle opened up to Ed more.
Note that Dagwood’s chair is about three inches above the floor to accommodate his freakishly short shins and always-bent knees.
Dust up — “I studied Economics in college” is pretty much the only excuse you’ll need for not having a job
Dustin: It’s funny, I always assumed that Dustin would have gotten one of those ‘useless’ degrees boomers are always moaning about (i.e. something touchy-feely plus ‘studies’), but he actually studied the perfectly-respectible field of economics. So I guess the joke is that it doesn’t matter what they know or how smart they are, young people are horrible leeches who deserve nothing but contempt.
Blondie: Surely that should be ‘Global Food Positioning Source’? The way Dagwood is saying it, it’s as if his food is repositioning the globe. Unless he’s managed to eat so much that his super dense mass is literally changing the orbit of the earth? Implausible, but I’m not ruling it out.
FC: “See mom? There *is* an upside to Daddy going missing!”
Blondie: This strip’s art recycling is hitting new lows. They didn’t even remember to put a clip-art sleeping Daisy in to emphasize the punchline with sudden wide-eyed shock.
FC: Gender parity at last! Too bad it required Thel to divorce Bil and force his mother to move in instead.
FC: So, is anyone else getting some of that cake or is this some weird Keane Kompound ritual where the Righteously Guided Successors enjoy offerings while everyone else sits there with empty plates and endures the pain of their unworthiness?
JP: I’m impressed that April’s rage against the judge was considered worthy of prison, considering she was held hostage at the time.
I’m expecting that she’s in for some other offense, like offending the Rhodian Government in Exile, now ruling Cavelton.
@But What Do I Know?: @pugfuggly:
On Dustin’s college education : I thought Dustin’s deal was that he “picked ‘English’ as his major (and only subject) because he figured it would be an easy course, as he already spoke the language”.
… I wonder if they’re changing this because someone realised that a radio DJ mom, a lawyer dad and a psychologist-to-be sister are actually bad picks for mocking someone with a humanities degree (I mean, that’s communications, law school, and I THINK psychology (unlike psychiatry) isn’t actually a STEM field)?…
…Nah, this is a probably a “it’s worth being wildly inconsistent with the backgrounds and history of these characters, if it’s in service of a
n unfunny non-joke” thing.
@richardf8: “FC – I think the dog is throwing the gender balance of the room off, Billy. ”
The dog is fixed so gender doesn’t count. But probably so are the melon heads.
GT: It’s Luke Martinez! Now he wants to drag race!
RMMD: Speaking of boat, that’s one massive steering wheel Hank Jr. is sitting behind.
JP: April’s roommate must be out shopping or something.
CS: “I don’t remember people behaving so stupidly before,” says Ralph as he and Keesterman both give Crankshaft the side eye.
CS – “For example, you’re drinking from a cup with a giant pube in it.”
RMMD: “Smooth sailing” Oh no, we’ve been too focused on Hank Sr. dying, when we should have been concerned about these two and the hazards of ocean cruises! Norovirus! Man overboard! Esme the Entertainer!
“I don’t know how to help him.”
“Offer him a sympathetic ear. But just remember one thing: muffins are MY deal.”
“And now that we have achieved this sacred sexual geometry, please drink the Kool-Aid. We shall forever escape this flat doomed circle of life and revel in the darkness between the stars in the service of our Lord and master Bilk’eane!”
Beloved grandparent or toxic q-tip?
9CL – Nice try, Brooke, but all your characters speak with the exact same voice all the time.
A very simple, two-week plot. And yet:
There were four Highschoolers, but two of them seem to have vanished?
Edda and Amos are just hanging out, unsupervised, in an otherwise empty classroom?
The Highschooler gets pelted with water-filled balloon bombs, and then charges into the school, where he is confronted by a Nun who accuses him of fornication, so she pledges him to become a “Junior Priest”?
After which he goes back outside and back to making out with his girlfriend on the sidewalk in front of the Elementary School?
Don Abundio, translated:
“Where are we playing?”
“We have a gig in that store”
“Why are we playing there?”
“Lady Veronica don’t dig buying shoes in squaresville”
FC: Alternate caption: “Aren’t you glad Grandma’s here to watch us today? Now you can have your quiet time in your room all afternoon!”
Quiet except for that strange buzzing and quiet moaning that mummy does when she’s alone and wants to relax.
RMMD: “I can’t wait to get onto the boat!”
“I think when it’s that big, they call it a ‘ship.'”
“They can call it anything they like, as long as there’s a comfy bed, good food, and smooth sailing.”
“The cruise ship won’t really be ‘sailing,’ either, since it’s using engines rather than wind for propulsion.”
“…You know, Hank, sometimes people can use words casually and it’s not a big deal if they’re a little off.”
“I know, I meant nothing by it. I just thought you’d like to know.”
“Right, well, once in a while is fine, but you don’t need to correct me every other sentence.”
“Of course, Yvonne. I’ll ease up, promise!”
“Thanks, dear. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
“…I was right, though.”
“Just drop it, Hank.”
“…So I just looked it up on my phone and it gives definitions of sailing as ‘travel over water by use of sails or other means.'”
“I thought we were dropping this, Yvonne.”
“I know, I know! Just wanted to put a final end to this. I’ll let it go now. Okay?”
“…But I mean, it sounds like you just seized on a convenient phrasing of one poorly applied definition to save face.”
“Hank, we have to stop talking about this!”
“Right, sorry… love you.”
“Words have meanings, you undereducated bitch!”
“Dictionaries are descriptive and not prescriptive, you know-it-all asshole!”
“Listen, you ignorant old bat, if we don’t have conventions in language then clarity of communication breaks down. Learn some goddamned principles for once in your useless life!”
“Language conventions develop from common usage and not the other way around, Professor Shitforbrains!”
“At least I’m looking out for the future of English!”
“At least I’m realistic about the unavoidable evolution of language!”
“At least I’m not a whore!”
“At least I’m not a prick!”
“I should have never married you!”
“I should have never fucked you or your dad!”
“I- I mean…”
“…That diner food earlier really was good, wasn’t it, Yvonne?”
“It really was, wasn’t it, Hank? I hope the meals are just as good on the boat!”
My Wary Morth and Inner Beautystan reply disappeared. Modbot?
Blondie: Maybe I’m nuts but that’s not “clearly” a crossword puzzle. Looks like a map with an overlay grid to me.
Seeing as FC is eternally set in the 50’s where the dogs are constantly shown as off-leash in the yard and around the neighbourhood, they probably aren’t fixed either.
Jeffy sneaking food to Sam is the sort of detail that gets “Family Circus” out of Comic Strip Purgatory — for now.
GIL THORP: Their car isn’t going VROOOOMMMM because it’s suddenly accelerating; that’s just the closest approximation of “blowing a rasberry” the car can do in response to Gil’s pious blither.
PHANTOM: “Send the desk jockeys and janitors up here! We need cannon fodder — er, arrow fodder — to distract our opponents while we get organized to counter-attack them! And remember to send a thank-you-note to the Wagner Group for the suggestion!”
JUDGE PARKER: “Parker, April” has a visitor? Isn’t that jumping the queue, since it’s still only March?
DICK TRACY: Hey, the writers are bringing in an authentic old Tracy villain instead of using this flashback to cram in a guest shot from some other author’s murderous character like Fu-Manchu or The Red Skull. Yawn.
9 CHICKWEED LANE: No, Edda, it’s sugar that’s “refined.” For you, let’s go with “coarse ground,”
FC: Billy is so happy to be guaranteed not to have to sit next to Jeffy.
The best part is knowing that one of the brothers (I don’t know their names, I refuse to care that much about Family Circus) doesn’t count.
I’d like to think Dagwood is solving world hunger with his radical plan to highlight the warehouses where hoarded food stockpiles are rotting away, to shame their owners or inspire revolution. I’d like to think that. Obviously I know it’s actually just a sick stalking app for food fetishists.
Dustin – Cue Paul Linn….
Blondie – The only reason I follow this strip is my GPTS – global positioning tit sites….
FC – Ida Gone with the fruit bowl….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Luann: does anyone expect the sight of Jack’s gentleman’s equipment to elicit an enigmatic smile from Borenice? Or any smile for that matter?
MW: Mary’s just mailing it in now.
You know, back in the 70’s, there were (while far and few between) Family Circus comics that were actually funny. Although usually they bordered on a bit of risque humour.
Dolly: Mommy can’t come to the phone right now, she’s in the shower with the plumber
(Shows Thel standing in the shower to help the plumber measure a fixture)
Billy: Just wanted to warn you Aunt Tess, this door doesn’t lock.
(Billy says this, as he bursts into the guest bedroom, while she’s in the middle of changing and is hastily covering herself with a towel)
Gonna recycle those Jeffy? No…?
Luann: Nil’s answer for Mona Lisa’s enigmatic smile? Uncomfortable arousal from proximity to nude beefcake.
MW: This would all be fine if Dr. Mr. Ed just wasn’t really into Estelle, but that isn’t how this strip rolls. We know the love between Ed and Stell after two first dates a year apart is deep and true and pure, just like every romance in this series. So what the crap? Why is Ed not only cancelling dates with Stell but refusing to even discuss why it’s happening or how they csn work on it? The answer only exists in the meta because Ed is a plot device rather than a character; Moy wants to tell this story and doesn’t want to put any work in to get there.
JP: “Guess that’s everybody… oh, right! As for me, I’ll be moving back home with my mom and bro- wait, they’re dead. And so’s my dad… so what am I going to do? I’m still just a kid! Hey, don’t end the story here! What happens to m-”
Luann: Nils and Jack must both know Borenice is neurotic and brittle. That means they’re playing a means prank on her.
MW: “GOOD LUCK, Stell!” Mary untied the reins of the horse’s ass that was tethered in front of Salad Town. Swinging herself up into the saddle, she looked down at Estelle for just a moment. The horse’s ass shifted impatiently. Then Mary squinted into the setting sun, smiled at Estelle and nodded. “Well, my job here is DONE,” she said, and chirruped to the horse’s ass. “Come on, Wilbur. Let’s go home.”
Between Friends – Sorry babe, but you’re not truly hip until you bring a beatnik jazz combo with you to the shoe store.
FC: Just wait until Holier than Thou Grandma finds out that Jeffy is transitioning.
FC – Why would Billy be happy about this? The way I recall it, when I was in elementary school, having to sit boy-girl-boy-girl was a punishment for rowdy behavior. The idea was that the interleaved girls would prevent the boys from being close enough together to encourage each other to make mischief. In other words, girls were seen as performing the same function as control rods in a nuclear reactor.
Grandma is unimpressed. Thel is actively done with Billy. PJ is happy because he’s a baby. Jeffy is staring blankly. So why is Dolly so pleased? Is she thinking that now that Billy has disgraced himself, she’ll be top dog? I have some bad news about the gender norms embodied in this punchline, and who is actually going to take over the family business.
JP: I’m getting mixed messages about this prison. Her cell has a stone cot with a thin mattress but she also gets to chill in a beanbag chair. Must be some kind of CIA ploy to mess with her head.
“Tomorrow we replace her gruel with Vichyssoise, heh heh.”
Dustin: I call bull. Dustin is in no way sociopathic enough to be an Econ major.
Blondie: Blondie looks at her husband’s “project” and see it’s just a long string of gibberish code. Disturbed, she calls the doctor and before long the diagnosis has come in; Alzheimer’s. “This explains why he always forgets everything that isn’t food-related!” she cries.
Family Circus: Little does Jeffy (Billy? I don’t pretend to be able to tell the Family Circus kids apart) know that his grandmother has come to visit because it’s Human Sacrifice Day on the Keane Kompound! And guess who’s been picked this year to honor the great Dark Lord Keane…
JP: The weird thing is, I’ve been wanting to read that novel ever since I saw the reviews nearly ten years ago. Jailbird April is an influencer.
I’ve heard a lot of euphemisms in my day but “inserting your control rod in a reactor” is a new one on me. Kudos!
FC: Love Thel’s “What-f-ing -ever” expression.
RMMD: When Hank Jr falls off the *ship* and ends up on an orgy island, he’s not going to appreciate it nearly as much as Wilbur did.
FC: “The best part ’bout Grandma being here for lunch is you can’t smack me for the stupid shit I say.” Dolly winks at Billy as she crosses the word ‘shit’ off her mental bingo card. “Only six more to go;” she thinks.
Blondie: “Global Positioning Food Source,” what do those words even mean?
“Look! Google Satellite Imagery has located a discarded pizza in a dumpster Moose Jaw.”
FC: Dad’s around there someplace, but he doesn’t tip the gender balance in either direction.
Dustin: If my social media feeds are any indication, the problem in the job market these days is not one of quantity but of quality: unrealistic expectations for entry-level experience, wages that don’t even approach cost-of-living expenses, zero tolerance for any kind of work-life balance. What I’m saying is if Dustin wants to keep up with the times, Dustin needs to be making cracks about how his Amazon warehouse job forces him to relieve himself in a bottle while his dad mutters about his lack of work ethic.
Dustin. Buddy. You studied economics in college and you don’t know what “the economy is headed for a soft landing” means. That’s… a little troubling? Maybe? Did you perhaps study something else? Was “studying economics” your slang for “smoking weed”? That’s probably it.
March 18th, 2023 at 7:40 am Reply
FC: “The best part ’bout Grandma being here for lunch is you can’t smack me for the stupid shit I say.” Dolly winks at Billy as she crosses the word ‘shit’ off her mental bingo card. “Only six more to go;” she thinks.
Hey, Grandma, Jeffy stuck his fingers in your milk when you left the table to take a piss.
Grandma, turn down your tits. The high beams are on.
That cocksucker from across the street is at the door again.
What the fuck is PJ so happy about?
Our mailman is a true motherfucker.
Hey Grandma, you’re a cunt.
Dustin “studied economics” the same way mice study cats: know your enemy, and especially know how to avoid it.
9CL: So, I gather the nameless nymphette was with a boy who is not her pre-ordained thrall who will marry her in haste so they can get right to the officially sanctioned boinking and procreation?
C’shaft: I don’t know how you can spend so much time around Crankshaft and be surprised by any level of stupid behavior.
GT: I kinda agree on the “no right way to be a parent” thing, but I would argue that forcing your kids to live out your jock ambitions and playing favorites when one is better at it than the other falls in the “wrong way to be a parent” category.
HotC: Cats balance 16-20 hours of rest with 4-8 non-consecutive hours of freeform activity. Your mom wishes she had the schedule of a cat.
JP: At least April has access to a decent prison library; most correctional facilities can only afford a Bible, some self-help books and an old Twlight Saga set.
Luann: The answer, apparently, is “Leonardo had it goin’ ON!”
MT: “The path collapsed”? Did someone trip in a pothole?
MW: “And if that fails, I’ve found that a batch of muffins laced with Pentothal will loosen even the most reluctant tongue!”
P&HU: I mean, most self-help gurus get paid thousands of dollars to spew psychobabble to conventions and employee trainings; that probably makes them pretty darn happy.
Pluggers assume The Kids These Days are ill-informed because they’re going to ProPublica instead of the Centralville Shopper for their news.
RMMD: I’m curious to see what line Hank and Yvonne are sailing. They strike me as being very firmly in the Carnival market, in which case I wouldn’t hold out hope for at least two of Yvonne’s requirements.
FC: Don’t be so sure about that, Billy. Just ask yourself, why is “Grandma” so tall, why does “she” wear so much makeup, why do you never see “her” when daddy’s around?
@jroggs: #21 — drinking morning coffee (West Coast’ lazy day) & your fine bit — what they say about keyboards or screens —
Pluggers- Pluggers are often found wandering around the mall asking random shoppers “Do you know where the Google Play Store is?”
[shows up disheveled and reeking of scotch and cheap cigarettes] ‘Sup. Thanks for the mentions, Baka and Scratchy, and congrats to all the floaters!
9 Chickweed Lane: “A fate worse than scripture”? A fate worse than scripture…a fate worse than scripture…a fate worse than scripture…a fate worse than scripture…nope, I got nothin’.
Wait, so Dustin is an unemployed 20-something with a (at least cursory) understanding of economics and he hasn’t attempted to get into the drug trade? I’m not saying it would turn out well for him. I’m just surprised, is all.
@jroggs: Too funny… and way too relatable! The road trip I was contemplating for this summer may be jeopardy now.
@Hibbleton: Holy crap. I mixed up Sophie and April.
FC – Holier than thou Grandma thinks, “Thank goodness I’m not sitting next to that harlot. Every time she opens her mouth I would have to elbow her in the ribs.”
Thel thinks, “Thank goodness I’m not sitting next to that old bitch. I wonder if I could slip into the closet to get a glass of ‘water’ to tide me over until she leaves.”
Rex Morgan – In any other strip, “smooth sailing” would be foreshadowing of a disaster filled with action and suspense. Just a reminder that this is the strip that managed to make a plane crash boring.
Frazz – The blathering subject is especially stupid today, but Frazz still manages to summon up a tiny bit of smugness.
6Chix – Maybe she could look up women who knew how to draw.
Mother Goose & Grimm – Nice job, Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!
@TheDiva: Re RMMD – What cruise line are Hank and Yvonne sailing? My guess is Holland America. It’s a nice line, but the average age of passengers is 70 plus.
DT: Here come ol’ Flattop. He come groovin’ up slowly…
@UncleJeff: Jones is the name. He’s one of the Jones boys.
@Ukulele Ike: $64: Phooey on you “Jones boy” Wimpy! You should be killed to death!
The best way for a pastor to show up. That’s how we know you’re “relatable”!
Dustin: “They say the economy is headed for a soft landing.” They would say that, wouldn’t they?
Plgrz: So Pluggers are a generation now? A whole generation of old, sick, fat, ugly, hairy newspaper-reading manimals? Dr. Moreau has been busy! Or is it Count Weirdly?
@Little Guy: #60
“I mixed up Sophie and April.”
Which one is Aphie and which one is Sopril?
Zits Smooth move Jeremy. Next time peek a bit higher…
@But What Do I Know?: Nope, there is also History.
I’m actually a little surprised that Ma Keene looks a little disappointed by Billy’s gender essentialism.
BLONDIE: However much the writer is being paid to come up with this low-effort, repetitive garbage, it’s too much.
It’s mind-boggling that in basically every other area of storytelling you need to constantly be stepping up your game lest you get cancelled in favor of the next big thing, but in newspaper comics it’s nearly impossible to get an old strip canceled no matter how far the quality has fallen. I’ve never seen a field that rewards mediocrity (or flat-out terribleness) so much.
@I speak Jive: 6Chix: It’s not the art, as Piro isn’t the worst of the Six (though that is a pretty low bar) but she really needs to land a punchline. Compare her to Kate Beaton, Roz Chast or Mimi Pond. Rough style, but funny material.
@I speak Jive: re MG&G: Hey, thanks! We had to come in on Saturday but it was worth it to place that Dog ensemble today. A fine job by all, and they’ll earn enough to pay off their gambling debts. And you thought those poker-playing Dog pictures were staged…. heh heh heh Just kidding! Our clients all receive complimentary financial planning and lifestyle coaching.
In other news, Blondie and Dagwood’s neighborhood is about to get annihilated by a whole roast turkey launched from a Starlink satellite at relativistic speeds.
@Flipper: OMG comment of the week!
The Familliar Mucus: “Hey everybody, let’s have an orgy!”*
*In the Billy Keane tongue.
Dick Tracy Holistic Defective: “Mr Woof? The Klingon from Next Generation?, what about him? Ever since Mumbles came out as a furry, nothing makes sense anymore,” mumbled Flattop.
JP: Looks like the angry eyebrows are working overtime today.
JP: I see Captain Savarna made it out alive, moved to Cavelton, got a law degree and her skin bleached.
FC: So, are you all just going to sit there and stare at the bowl of fruit?
FC: Hey, Thel and Granny, are you two going to actually serve some food or what? All I see are empty plates.
You know when that Plugger leaves the cafe or wherever he is that he found a free newspaper lying around that he’s going straight home to turn on FOX News.
Six Chex : Isnt the accepted term “HERstory”?
Slylick Fox and Comics For Kinx: NEWS BULLETIN: A giant rabbit has escaped “Mark Trail” and invaded today’s “6 Differences!” Where is Count Weirdly when we need him to survive this lapine threat? And that’s the way it is, today,March 18th 2023 in Forest City, I’m Walter Cronic, we now return you to your regularly scheduled snark.
He is fluid. He goes with his mood every day. The way he expresses his mood is in his underwear choice. Boxers? Briefs? Thel’s thong? Thel’s crotchless? Commando? Depends?
@Ukranazi Stepan: Did someone in your post have a specialty?
Dustin, 3/18/23: …because are…?! PROOF READ YOUR “WORK?”!
@Blast Hardcheese: “Zits Smooth move Jeremy. Next time peek a bit higher…”
(Jeremy peeks higher) Ooh, I see it’s that time of the month again.
@?: Heh, a couple weeks ago I mentioned that there was a dude who had a bizarre fixation with Josh’s proofreading. A couple of Mudges seemed to have trouble believing that anybody so bereft of a life could exist, yet here we are.
Phantom: “Send the desk jockeys and janitors up here! Don’t forget the party planner!”
@Rube: I like it when Josh sees the mistake he made and goes back and corrects it making the complainer look like an idiot.
Blondie: Food being something that Dagwood has a notoriously difficult time finding, of course.
FC: Grandma Keane: So, this is the smart one?
Thel: I know, I know.
BB: The bartender didn’t get around to asking Amos about his Drynuary until the day after St. Patty’s? I guess this follows six weeks of densely wondering why the general wasn’t giving him any tips.
C-Shaft: Yeah, once you cut the Stork out of the process quality control went out the window.
Crock: The cartoonist knows that gas prices have been going up but thinks that gas pumps are just oil drums you stick a hose into.
DT: Hm, the ne’er-do-well Zeck is dealing with is in shadow so we have no idea who he is. All we know is that his surname seems to be “Jones”, he’s got curly hair at his temples, and the top of his head is completely flat. Sooooooooooo mysterious!
JP: If April Parker has any hope of being a free woman again I don’t see a smirking cop widow who just got her correspondence school law degree as being it.
Luann: Yesterday I joked about Nil putting Bernice off by falsely claiming to be gay. Today we find out this painting is just an excuse to have Jack pose nude, so I may have to amend that theory by one word.
Phantom: “Hell, you can even send that weirdo who dresses like one of the SS brass on Hogan’s Heroes!”
@Ukulele Ike: Yeah, I’ve had its sequel, The Hidden Palace, in my backlog for, like, a year now. I might finally read it.
I like it when Josh goes back, sees his mistake, and doesn’t correct it because “Hey, whatever, amirite?” It’s part of the charm.
FC – I think the dog is throwing the gender balance of the room off, Billy.
“Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!”
“Lend him an ear? What if he doesn’t give it back?”
Jock and Null, look here, see
First comes paint, model carriage
Burnice will never have a marriage
That’s it, I think. That panel the other day is the end of this “story”.
@I speak Jive: RMMD – The ship will hit an iceberg. Everyone will be evacuated in a completely orderly manner to the perfectly adequate number of lifeboats. While they await the well executed rescue by the USCG, they will be forced to listen to the complaints of a blowhard. As they drive back home, she says to Hank Jr. “yeah, the boat is what they put you on when the ship sinks!”
@Shrug: The one that looks like Heloise.
@Professor Well Actually: Greg Evans is playing out his cuck fantasies. Borenice—who a few months ago was having moist-dreams about Jerk—is going to get visibly aroused at Jerk’s Junk. Nil, who clearly gets off on this kind thing given his ongoing relationship (however fucked up) with Bornice gets to experience the thrill of humiliation, which in turn inspires his now-original painting.
—some TruFan, somewhere.
@Ukranazi Stepan: “Pigborn: That’s it, I think. That panel the other day is the end of this “story”.”
Four years of slap and tickle in the lake, and then one day its “and she suddenly turned into Pibgorn. The End.”
That would be about right for the author’s storytelling these days.
Curtis: Um, I’m no Biblical scholar, but I’m looking at the timeline of the Passion on Wikipedia, and as far as I can make out, Jesus gets arrested the same night as the Last Supper, he appears before Pontius Pilate the following morning, and is summarily sentenced and sent out to be crucified. And if the crucifixion took place on a Friday, that would make the Last Supper a Thursday. Sorry, Greg.
DT: So how giddy do we think Curtis got when he thought “It’s a flashback! That means I get to use canonically dead villains like Flattop!”
FC: The obvious solution to “where’s Big Daddy Keane?” is “at the office”, although if this is set on a weekday despite running on a Saturday, that raises the question of why Billy and Dolly aren’t at school. Then again, since Big Daddy Keane is canonically meant to be Actual Bil Keane, cartoonist, I’ve always assumed “the office” is code for “somewhere with free wi-fi where he can sit in blessed melonhead-free peace for a few hours before e-mailing the strips to the syndicate”, so maybe he does go there Saturday lunchtimes! Maybe it serves lunch, or alcohol! Probably alcohol.
Garfield: This is your semi-regular PSA: Do not give cats yarn. They swallow it and it does horrible things to their insides. Probably don’t give them bacon cheeseburgers either, for broadly similar reasons.
Heath: Just imagine how much the owls would dig him if he had a beautiful pea-green boat.
Phantom: “Send janitors! Especially the one who calls himself the Street Sweeper! It takes a delusional weirdo in a mask…”
Pluggers: There seems to be a slight disconnect between the caption, which is aiming for “newspapers are great and only Pluggers know this” and the art, which is clearly “Pluggers leaf listlessly through the newspaper while feeling utter contempt for it”. I mean, has anyone, even a Plugger, ever said “Well, this is fascinating” because they actually found something fascinating? And even if they did, did they say it with that expression?
MW: I know we’ve questioned the business model of the Animal Hospital, but today I received a mailer for a new vet clinic opening up locally. It offers “same day appointments, seven days a week”! I hope it is staffed by more than a middle-aged vet and his whiny nephew, both of them “in crisis.”
RMMD: Joke’s on you, Hank. We’re going on a Great Lakes cruise, where all vessels are boats.
RMMD: Joke’s on you, smartass. We’re going by submarine, which are all boats.
@Guillermo el chiclero: No! I won’t hear of it! Surely the Edmund Fitzgerald was a ship!
@White Rabbit: And a very fine one too!
Well, all except for that sinking part.
@richardf8: “Phantom-Desk Jockeys? I don’t know who to bet on in a battle between pens and arrows. Doesn’t that usually go to the pens?”
They say the pen is mightier than the sword, but I’m not so sure if it’s mightier than an arrow.
And what about the janitors? Is the broom mightier than the sword? (Frazz might say so, but he’s not here. Unfortunately.)
@White Rabbit: An Ore Boat is a type of ship?
@White Rabbit: #104: If it hit saltwater it would be.
@Prick Henderson: #105: But it inspired a really great song.
Huh. You’d think Dolly would be the one to make that observation. Billy seems to have some hidden layers there.
Bows and arrows against automatic rifles and machine guns? Phantom really is a fantasy.
Today’s Point to Ponder– Does Grandma Keane realize she is in a comic strip? And if she does, does she cut out the circles of her reality and stick them on her fridge?
Please discuss and show your work.
@Dr. Pill: #109
“Bows and arrows against automatic rifles and machine guns? Phantom really is a fantasy.”
I still remember Ghost Who Fails to Suspend Our Disbelief a few years ago surviving a nightime ambush by pulling a mattress in front of him. Apparently a very thick mattress.
Pluggers: “Well, this is fascinating— they forgot to print the inside of the paper again! This is just blank newsprint inside.”
I mean, has anyone, even a Plugger, ever said “Well, this is fascinating” because they actually found something fascinating?
Just Mr Spock.
@richardf8: It is certainly described as a ship in the Wikipedia article. And I didn’t just change it myself! And Gordon Lightfoot calls it a ship, which I view as definitive.
FC: I’d like to be able to say that Grandma’s dreadful hair makes June Morgan’s dreadful hair look better by comparison, but no.
MW: “And the next time you feel thirsty, Stell, try drinking a glass of water. And head for the bathroom the next time you need to pee. And if you are feeling cold…oh hell, never mind.”
LUANN: I’d beg for this story to end if it weren’t for the knowledge that Shannon is always waiting in the wings.
@White Rabbit: Oh, I never look up anything on Wikipedia without changing it.
@Arabella: This sounds menacing, almost as if it’s a set-up for an episode of Twilight Zone. If I were you, I’d avoid that vet. Sure, it seems innocent NOW. But it’s just possible you could become part of the Mary Worthiverse if you take your pet there. Think carefully about this, unless you don’t mind being chummy with the likes of Mary, Estelle, Dr. Ed…and Wilbur. I’m just saying, there’s a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man…!
@Charterstoned: The weird thing is that it was addressed to us personally, not to “occupant.” And we haven’t had a pet in over ten years. Am I being targeted as a Mary Worth reader?
When we did have a cat, we had a wonderful vet who made house calls. It was great to not have to get an uncooperative cat into a carrier and listen to him howl all the way to the vet clinic.
@Arabella: Your description of a howling cat sounds exactly like Libby when Wilbur was singing at the piano! This is uncanny, I tell you! Somebody is clearly trying to get you into that vet’s office, for what nefarious purpose I can’t say. If I were you, I’d hide in the bushes outside the vet’s and peer through the windows to see what you can see. God help you if you see your reflection in the glass and you have morphed into Wilbur Weston….
119 replies to “Is it March where Dustin and Meg are, do you think”
Well, there seems to be sufficient madness for it to be March there, Josh.
@Guy Nerdlinger: Yeah, you’re right. She’s far from the worst artist, but her jokes need a lot of work. On the other hand, at least she doesn’t spend Saturdays whining and wearing rotten pumpkins.
@richardf8: And it will be boring as hell. Beatty could make the sinking of the Titanic boring. The passengers treading water would be talking about mom and pop diners while they tried not to freeze to death.
@Garrison Skunk: She saves the ones that have a religious theme or that are set in church. It helps her maintain her holier than thou reputation.
She also saves the strips where Jeffy says something moronic. There are a lot of those. She’s collecting them as evidence that he’s the milkman’s kid.
@31 Professor Well Actually: on Luann: The look on Bernice’s face will be one of total horror before it melts off her head à la Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Mutt & Jeff: I know you folks hate to miss the obligatory golf strip.
@Peanut Gallery: Rats! I misheard. I thought the ultimate coolness was Neo Deathmetal Klezmer K-pop.
// All that practice! Wasted!
Billy is thrilled that his grandmother is here and his father isn’t.