Mmm … buns
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Pluggers, 11/17/23
Look, I’ve said a lot of pretty mean things about Pluggers over the years, so let me say something nice: this is a very cute drawing a cat-man opening his mouth wide to eat a cinnamon bun. It’s cute and I enjoy it! Let’s put the implied bodily self-loathing aside for the moment and just enjoy this cartoon. Ha ha, he’s taking a big bite!
Family Circus, 11/17/23
If you squint, you can see that the front page of the Family Times, the fake newspaper these little twerps have been working on all week, has the banner headline “HANG UP YOUR CLOTHES OR NO DESERT!” I guess I shouldn’t be shocked that the Keane Kids have decided to, on their own initiative, print a propaganda rag dedicated to their own repression, but it still fills me with a profound sense of disgust.
Gasoline Alley 11/17/23
The civic leaders of Charlotte, North Carolina, heard that Rufus and Joel were approaching and quickly built a Potemkin skyline to divert the irritating rustics as far from the good citizenry as possible.
151 replies to “Mmm … buns”
Judge Parker: Am I the only one getting creepy “Wilbur Weston in a cheap wig” vibes from the CIA lady?
Rex Morgan: Were I an entertainer, I’d love to have Buzzy as my agent. He’s always thinking about making more money, not sitting around on his diabetic ass whining about minor inconveniences of agenting like someone we know [cough]Buck Wise[cough].
MW:
“I’ll take ‘TV characters’ for 400, Keith.”
“Kitty, Werner Klemperer played this bumbling colonel on the ’60s sitcom ‘Hogan’s Heroes.’ ”
“Clink!”
” ‘What is “Clink”? ‘ is correct! — select!”
Family Circus: “Ha-ha, PJ, we’re all going to the Mojave, and you have to stay home by yourself. Enjoy the toilet water, slob!”
Pluggers: He’s being all fancy, too! Look at that pinkie!
FC: Thel did not do enough day drinking for this nonsense!
GA: Oops. It looks like they somehow got on the 485.
Crankshaft : So, Ed and his daughter Pam fall squarely on the “dub” side of the “subs vs dubs” argument. Jeff, who is absent, probably falls on the “IT’LL BE A COLD DAY IN HELL BEFORE I ACKNOWLEDGE NON-
CAPESHITAMERICAN COMICS, I AIN’T WATCHING ANY JAPANIMATION *PERIOD*!” side.***********
Dustin : I would have rather if the second panel had been totally silent.
And the third panel being DustinDad in the same pose, but in his coffin at his wake, with a tearful DustinMom telling a friend “Sleep apnea. Who could have seen it coming?”***********
Family Circus : hey, maybe the melonheads don’t know about the “don’t editorialise in the news section, and if you do, don’t bury THAT lede”, and that front page article is actually DENOUNCING what they feel is a draconian and tyrannical rule.
***********
Gasoline Alley : it’s also possible that Joel and Rufus are so impossibly stupid and incompetent they are somehow incapable of navigating a highway correctly, and they are merely accidentally circling Charlotte without noticing. I mean, Slim fell off the pickup truck and is probably
street pizzalost forever, and Joel and Rufus still haven’t noticed THAT, either!***********
Pluggers : wish they had muscular, compact butts, but instead have big, doughy butts instead.
MW: I’ll drink to the fact that Kitty hasn’t pointed out that she’s a single mother since, well, since yesterday. Bottoms up!
RMMD: Buzzy is wholeheartedly (and a little creepily) Team Rene. Fergus Mud had better get on board, or it’s Trunk Time for him.
DtM: Mrs Wilson is a sad and bitter woman. Question is, which method of offing her husband will succeed; the slow poisoning she’s been inflicting, or the apoplexy brought on by the unrelenting presence of Dennis? ( that front door doesn’t unlock itself, you know)
9CL: Today’s lesson: If you grab a man’s ass and he goes all Orphan Annie on you, that’s amore!
FC: I hope they have a help wanted section. Daddy got fired yesterday for theft of company property printing this rag. Maybe he can get a job as a cartoonist as Jeffy’s replacement.
MW: “I moved because I felt like a change.”
Keith’s true nature will be revealed in the light of the next full moon, or else he’s going to break out with hot flashes, irritability, mood swings, insomnia, and a dry dick.
Pluggers – Pluggers have sticky buns…or was it stinky buns….
FC – Filthy Times….
GA – Hitting that shit hole (sorry Charlotte)….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
After 7 long years, Crock finally has to pass on its trophy for “Most Outdated Buns of Steel Reference” to a new victor.
FC-“You’re not my usual paper delivery man.”
FC-Daddy’s busy with page thre
MW-Famous last words. Soon Mary Worth will be choosing your destinies.
GA: It’s the climax of climax of “Blazing Saddles” all over again — except not as funny.
DtM: Dennis says; “Wow, you guys have been to South America; and here, you’re in Germany. Hey, wait. Why are you wearing uniforms like German soldiers in the movies?”
“Uh……Halloween!” (aside to George) I told you to burn that picture.”
Frazz: Speaking of monotonous…
Luann: Are Greg and Karen taking turns writing this week’s set of strips? This thing is swerving all over the place.
CS: Pam, you know you’re not going to enjoy the movie anyway. Cranky will be talking over it the whole friggin’ time.
@MKay: “ 9CL: Today’s lesson: If you grab a man’s ass and he goes all Orphan Annie on you, that’s amore!”
That’s not a man, it’s Hugh Goldamning, aka Chinese Edda’s thrall. His is the unenviable task of always being even more pathetic than Amos is, so that Edda can look down on her Asian counterpart.
FC: Bil is disappointed that his story as ‘Dear Leader’ has been put under the fold.
9CL: Ha ha! She’s stealing his wallet, and he’s shocked!
Pibgorn: Your mouth is in the wrong place for the words to be taken out of it. (I feel slightly bad about that snark, but Brooke’s insistence on middle-school humor drove me to it)
Luann So Bets “fighting for her man” has turned into her dumping her man because of …what? This storyline did not make any sense in the first place, but somehow it keeps getting more incomprehensible
Apparently Ma Keane told the kids that if they didn’t hang up their clothes she wouldn’t take them to the desert, so they’ve displayed it proudly with a big headline at the top of their newspaper because going on a trip to the desert sounds more like a punishment than a perk. She can’t believe they saw through her cunning ruse to get rid of those melon-headed morons forever.
@Liam: Apparently he really liked that picture of Dolly in her birthday suit he suggested they put there. (Too far?)
Zits: It looks like Sara finally took richardf8’s advice!
MW: You’re in entirely the wrong place for “choosing one’s own destiny.” This is Mary Worth country!
FC: Thel gets up and takes six copies. She opens the bathroom door.
Bil yells from the couch; “We’re out of paper.”
“I know.”
FC: “Mommy, Mommy! Do you understand the scale of the ecological impact your clothes dryer alone has on arid regions? Your rampant abuse of home appliances is killing off endangered species everyday!”
RMMD: The evidence for “Buzzy has brain damage” grows yet again. Today’s oxygen-deprived logic – if people hear that Rene used to be a self-help scam artist, they’ll be excited and trusting when it comes to a self-help program he’s launching while on trial for attempted murder related to his latest self-help scam.
Luann: These past few weeks have been an absolute onslaught of non sequitur assumptions and out-of-character behavior. If Stef proposed marriage to Luann tomorrow because Gunther is apple sandwiches and Bernice is the Tuesday of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth, it would make as much sense as anything else that has happened lately.
@Rube: You and taig are correct. However, as long as it results in Cunther getting dumped, I’m good with it.
I am a huge fan of cinnamon buns, and have gotten terribly, terribly lost in Charlotte. I am a Plugger and Gashole. I’m just a Lockhorn away from the Trifecta of Doom.
@Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women: I’m glad someone else here knows the difference between a “desert” and a “dessert”. For a minute I thought I might be the only one. Jeff Keane probably knows, too, and he thought it’s be cute to have the melonheads use the wrong word in their paper.
Pluggers: Brad Wesner protests; “Isn’t it spelled ‘cimmanon’?”
@Fritz G: Dang it! I meant it’d be cute, not it’s be cute.
GA: An alternative explanation for the “Potemkin skyline” is that the strip’s budget only stretched to one picture postcard of Charlotte, so the cartoonist is forced to trace the same view of the buildings over and over.
@22 jroggs: on Rex Morgan: You’re surprised at this? Have you not seen how popular so called “reality” shows are? Have you not seen who’s been elected to high places in the past few years? Gullible stupid people with money, the US has plenty of them just waiting to be ripped off by the next charlatan with a good background story.
Pluggers: Hold on, Mr Cat: you may be sitting in a greasy diner in a flannel shirt munching on a stale cinnamon bun, but are you sticking your pinkie in the air like some froo-froo tea drinker? Go back over the pond, Lord Kittington.
FC: Un-oh, the children have discovered the printing press, which means that a challenge to the supreme authority of the Keane elders can’t be far behind. Do you think that Billy will be able to fit 95 hilarious theses into a single Sunday strip?
GA: Time is a flat circle, man, and this strip is the definitive proof…
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box:
@#15: Can’t disagree with you there. If a Mr. Macho contest were held in that little universe, everyone would be up for last place. Well, except for the women, of course.
CS: I assume Jeff is out working a second job so they can afford to move away from this asshole.
Pluggers: As a lover of cinnamon rolls, I give this strip a ten out of ten for being based.
Family Circus: Those aren’t cutesy handmade newspapers from the kids, they’re real papers. Its a very slow news day.
Gasoline Alley: It’s kinda hilarious that after the endless months of batshit insanity this strip had descended into with time-traveling dolls, talking bears that kidnap human toddlers, and aliens, we’re now trying to scale things back to two old farts puttering around Charlottesville and getting lost. There are times when you can argue a story is better served by not escalating its scale out of its original premise. This is not one such time.
FC: “Oh, Christ. I bet each copy is different. I have to look at all of them, don’t I? Remind me again why we taught them to read?”
GA: I have a bone to pick with that sinkhole. What good are you if you’re not big enough to swallow their truck?
I hope Thel shot those brats down fast, telling them newspapers are a dying medium, shuttering their local newsroom, and making them start a YouTube channel called “Keane Patriot News” that’s 90% outraged opinion based on what they want people to think the Mitchum family is up to.
It’s “Groundhog Day”, except this being “Gasoline Alley” the groundhog talks and he is annoying
FC: The melonheads are victims of the Stockholm Syndrome, a result of being stunted in growth and development for over half a century. That being said, can Jeffy and PJ actually read–or would that expose them to radical ideas? Enquiring minds want to know! (Alongside the Globe and the National Enquirer would probably be the only place where the Family Times would be sold.)
Pluggers – One interesting thing about Pluggers is that it has the kind of same jokes you would see in Maxine/Aunty Acid comics or Minions memes, but oddly I don’t see Pluggers comics shared on social media at all.
The Family Circus – The Family Times run was short, thanks to the neighbors the Murdochs aggressively taking over the local media through acquisitions, salacious reporting, and propagandizing for the most extreme voices in local politics.
Gasoline Alley – Rufus and Joel died and have been sent to a purgatory where they can only circle, but never make it, to their destination.
Pluggers are strongly opposed to a redistributive welfare state, strong trade unions, multiculturalism and social liberalism, so eating a kanelbulle is the closest Swedish thing they’ll ever do
H&L: Of course, a real modern parent would say to his kid; “Before social media, lovers used to carve their initials on trees.” Hell, even a grandparent would say it that way. Trying to think of a still-living generation that would have the slack jawed reaction Hi is having.
@pugfuggly: FC: No one would want to read the theses–they’d rather be watching the videos of Mommy doing her striptease, or Daddy pleasuring “Uncle Roy”.
Pluggers mentioning anthropomorphic animals and “Buns of Steel” in the same sentence.
I don’t know if this was a furry re-awakening, or (seeing as it’s Pluggers) if it literally caused my furry-ness to wither and die…
According to the Daily Cartoonist, The Lockhorns is leaving King Features and moving to Andrew McMeel in January, which probably means we will be seeing way less of them here.
GA: Apparently Scancarelli lives in Charlotte.
@Rube:
Is there a reason, or is it just harder for Josh to read those ahead of time? I did notice a drop off in Crankshaft after the move
@Philip: My assumption is that King provides the feed that Josh is able to access ahead of time, yes.
PIB – Approaching year six of the “Provenance of Pib” origin story! Let’s recap,
For six years she swam around in a lake making out with the dweeby monk with the overbite.
Then, one day, without warning, she suddenly became Pibgorn, a winged fairy.
So now she is Pibgorn and has an overbite of her own and spends her time by the lake making out with the dweeby monk.
FC – “No Desert?” Does that mean this year the Grand Canyon trip is canceled and they’re vacationing in the mountains? Will they feed Jeffy to a bear? Will he be wearing a Gnutz tee-shirt?
https://comicskingdom.com/break-of-day
This comic hit me on a very personal level…
I cried a bit when reading.
I live with Schizophrenia, when I was a kid I was undiagnosed and wasn’t on any meds, and at one point I completely lost it and beat up a nearby kid for no reason.
I never forgave myself for that, and this comic awakened a TON of memories, but also reminding me to move on.
I have feelings…
Phantom – What the fuck is so hard about “Son, Savarna and Jampa have history. If she knows where he is, she is likely to kill him and cause an international incident. So please, just don’t, OK?” But now we’re going to have an Idiot Plot because Mozz’s great prophetic secret is that he knows that Kit (ambiguity intentional) is an idiot.
Luann – And off she goes to pick up Delta from Howard University and head down to South America to visit Rosa. Hell maybe she’ll find Knute and Crystal hitch hiking along the way and Quill will show up with a packet of Tim Tams to sweeten the ride.
Pibgorn: Her origin story really did just amount to, “suddenly, for no reason, she became a fairy.” Also, it’s like the warning in the commercial — that guy has had an erection lasting more than four years.
@50 richardf8: on Luann: I have a packet of Tim Tams in my pantry. Do I have to worry about attracting Quill to my residence?
RMMD – I don’t have many dealbreakers vis-à-vis having an agent, but using the word “doozy” is definitely one of them.
FC: Even the most devoted parent has a point where they don’t have the spoons to indulge their children’s nonsense. Judging by the look on her face, that moment for Thel was three years ago.
Pluggers have no willpower.
@The Rambling Otter: It is good to forgive yourself. I hope you’re getting the help you need for your condition (if you’re outside the US, your chances are considerably greater).
Pluggers: Pluggers are fat # 34,964.
Phantom: You’re your own man, son, just like Jeb Bush.
RMMD: Somehow this story is going to end up with Mud and Buzzy having a falling out over which direction to take this Mirakle Method thing and Mud will end up with Buck being his agent again, won’t it?
Luann: Bets is pretending she’s dumping Gunther For His Own Good, but she just wants out of the strip. And who can blame her?
@56 Guillermo el chiclero: on Rex Morgan: Oh NO! No no no no NO!
Luann: “I created Bets ‘n’ Guns and you don’t deserve it.”
Happy retirement, Evansii. I suggest working with Brooke.
This steel/cinnamon quip was also used in Ellen DeGeneres’ 1990s sitcom. And, yes; it’s already been brought to my attention that I’ve wasted my life, but I nonetheless appreciate the concern.
RMMD: I see where this is heading: Mud’s guitar smashed around Buzzy’s neck with his head sticking through the sound hole. Exiting but it’ll take fifteen months to get there.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: It’s better than two years teasing we’re going to get Kit (or Heloise) as StripeyPants-22.
@Braniff: Uncle who in the what now?
There are all sorts of disturbing possibilities for the reason why Catman Plugger is wearing Jeremy Zits’ shirt.
FC: Hang up your clothes, or you’ll be denied access to Crock.
GA: He said the same thing about his kidney stones.
BCN: Apparently nobody has come up with a “Help, I’m Experiencing the Consequences of My Own Actions” t-shirt yet. Georgia Dunn could make a mint if she plays her cards right.
C’shaft: Who has a GPS system that says “bear right”? Usually it’s more specific, like “use the right lane to merge onto etc.”
Besides, the Muppets reached the apotheosis of this wordplay with “Bear left, right frog” over forty years ago.
Dustin: On one hand, Dustmom is chattering away while her husband is trying to settle in to sleep. On the other, Dustdad has long been established as the sort of man who thinks “listening” is one of those girly things along with “empathy” and “eating vegetables.” The Lockhorns wished their open hostility reached this level of marital dysfunction.
JP: A wealthy American paling around with Russian oligarchs? Surely the CIA has NEVER encountered such a shocking situation!
Luann: So, Stef is posting this all over social media without either of their permission and….somehow that’s Bets’ fault? Help me out here.
MW: Pfft, you think you’re choosing your destiny? Little do you know that Mary is an incarnation of Yue Lao, the Chinese god of marriage, and she has already tied the red string that binds the two of you together for life.
Phantom: So…you tell someone a prophecy and it’s no longer prophetic? Kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?
y@Peanut Gallery: That could actually be a good story; the win keeps Yugoslavia united, a neutral power in the Balkans. NATO expansion slows . . .
y@Guillermo el chiclero: Santa Ana as actually competent would make a good tale.
y@The Breathtaking Bonehead Brothers: I’ve never actually gotten to 50K, but I have gotten two shorter novellas out of it. Just been hitting serious writer’s block for the past few years.
I can believe a lot of things. I can believe a cat can talk and hate Mondays. I can believe an elder god disguised as a man can eat 10,000 times its own body weight in “comically” large sandwiches daily. I can’t believe the Keanes taught their homeschooled children to read and write or about the fifth estate. Lets too many unapproved ideas into their noggins, it does.
“HEADLESS BODY IN TOPLESS BAR? DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN? FORD TO CITY: DROP DEAD? Here’s a headline: KIDS LAZY, UNORIGINAL; MOM BORED, UNIMPRESSED.”
Rex Morgan, M.D. Spanish to English.
@nescio:
This punishment has proved ineffective.
Phantom: “What you and Savarna talk about is none of my business. So when you’re lying there, sweaty and spent, entwined in each other and making pillow talk like some beefwitted ‘9 Chickweed Lane’ characters, don’t even think about me.”
“Uhhhh…. Yeah, Dad. Sure. And on that happy note, I’m heading back to the Mountain City right now! Forever! Bye!”
GA – I refuse to believe that uneducated hick Rufus knows the word “skyscraper,” unless it’s in connection with this.
The Discreet Charm of Don Abundio:
“Telegram for Don Abundio”
“Can you tell me who he is?”
“Sure…”
“The guy all the weapons are aimed at!”
Pluggers: I have a hard time believing that a plugger would order one of those diner cinnamon buns — probably delivered by a mass baked-goods supplier three days ago — when that’s the one thing you can get made fresh at the mall. Who even goes to malls anymore, if not pluggers? Do non-pluggers even know what an Orange Julius tastes like? No wonder Hallmark closed so many of its paper-card-and-knickknack shops, and now depends on cliche-filled Christmas romance movies to stay in business. Or that J.C. Penney shut down half its mall stores — at one time, they probably made half their profits off of L-XXXL flannel shirts.
Gasoline Alley: “Have yo’ noticed anythin’ strange?” asks a character in Gasoline Alley to another. “Nope, not in comin’ up on 105 years!” is the only possible reply.
Gasoline Alley: Slim didn’t fall out of the truck he JUMPED out when he woke and heard Joel and Rufus yammering.
Crock: Maggot: I might ask you the same question.
MW: This is all resolving incredibly easily. What was the point of any of this, again?
Luann: No self-respecting influencer would just casually delete their account without first making a tearful video explaining how they just can’t take all the hate and pressure anymore and how it’s really damaged their self-esteem and that they need some time away to focus on themselves.
Betty: A personal brand is a great idea, but don’t you have to have a name first?
Pluggers: I’ve got some Wesners on my mother’s side of the family, and I cringe every time I see Brad submit something trite he saw on a t-shirt somewhere.
@Baja Gaijin: Judge Parker: Am I the only one getting creepy “Wilbur Weston in a cheap wig” vibes from the CIA lady?
I’m getting creepy, cross-dressing, dominatrix vives.
FC: Kids Publish the Darndest Things.
@Lord_Flatulence: I’m getting creepy, cross-dressing, dominatrix vives.
… but, enough about the X. Libris story arc in Dick Tracy.
I just spent way too much time reading Gasoline Alley deeplore, and I think we have not yet discussed that Rufus and Joel are immortal. Literally. The relentless march of time that plagues the Wallet dynasty has no hold upon them. I don’t know what this says, but it can’t be good.
@Philip: “Pluggers – One interesting thing about Pluggers is that it has the kind of same jokes you would see in Maxine/Aunty Acid comics or Minions memes, but oddly I don’t see Pluggers comics shared on social media at all.”
It’s strange, isn’t it? If it weren’t for this site, I don’t think I would know that Pluggers even existed. Yet it’s no worse than a ton of the other crap I see on Facebook, and generally better than the stuff you mention.
@richardf8: Phantom – What the fuck is so hard about “Son, Savarna and Jampa have history. If she knows where he is, she is likely to kill him and cause an international incident. So please, just don’t, OK?” But now we’re going to have an Idiot Plot because Mozz’s great prophetic secret is that he knows that Kit (ambiguity intentional) is an idiot.
Because Phantom is a drama queen. He’s totally wrapped up in himself and his grand legacy.
@Peanut Gallery: #72: Actually, an uneducated hick like Rufus would most likely use a dated term like skyscraper rather than the more modern high-rise.
Pibgorn: In Brooke’s world, women are by turns fascinated, surprised, frightened, and awed by each and every erection they encounter. If I didn’t know better, I’d wonder if this was actually Brooke’s own reaction trickling through into his prose.
PS. Didn’t those two fuck in midair just a few moments earlier, in the story’s peculiar chronology? Maybe she’s insatiable, but doesn’t he need a bit more time to recharge? Or is his refractory period one for the Guinness Book? I’ll just go with that she isn’t a very good lay, and he hasn’t finished yet.
FC- So these kids are delivering their paper? C’mon, Barfy, do your job!
FC: ““HANG UP YOUR CLOTHES OR NO DESERT!””
The kids have been clamoring for weeks about visiting the comical Foreign Legion in the desert wasteland that is “Crock,” and they have been given an ultimatum. What else has Ma Keane threatened them with? “Pick up your toys or no muffins from Mary Worth”?
Phantom:
Many thanks to Seismic #124 and Lord Flatulance #152 for yesterday’s comments bring not only new arrivals but the rest of us back up to speed on Mozz’s original vision and it’s real time corollaries.
If the writer lazily reverts to saying destiny is unchangeable, there’s no use trying, I’m out of here.
As fearsome as Charybdis was to the Greeks, the horrible whirlpool was no match for a single fat cat.
GA: “Hittin’ that sink hole”. We just hope none of this feature’s readers suffer from dyslexia.
@89 Daisy:
“TAKE A BATH OR NO GASOLINE ALLEY!”
@Rube:
With its user-submitted jokes, you think there would have been a built-in community to grow and share the strip online, but there are only two fan groups on Facebook, the biggest being 1.4K. No real official social media presence for the strip either. Maybe they feared Facebook would just steal their content (fair, social media relies a lot on rehosted content), but I have to imagine a number of the engaged fans would also still be newspaper subscribers, would love to see themselves in print, and would be outspoken if their newspaper dropped the strip.
@Shea VerBusch: Brookeworld men always seem to pass out before they reach completion, so the only thing they really have to recover from is their unconsciousness. This may also explain why the women are always in a state of unsatisfied arousal, especially since they all seem to be good Catholic girls who don’t seem to know self-satisfaction and lesbianism are perfectly viable alternatives.
Yep, Bets is a narcissistic cunt.
@pugfuggly: Uncle Roy is Daddy’s special friend, more than just a Best Friends Forever with benefits. From what I’ve heard, Daddy and Uncle Roy spend time together on Fire Island, in San Francisco or any of the LGBTQ+ tourist spots.
@cheech wizard: Perhaps I was wrong. The melonheads didn’t want Barfy to barf.
@Guillermo el chiclero: That’s what people call them now? Uh oh. I might be an uneducated hick myself. :-)
At least I found an excuse to link to ice cream!
Six Chix and a Cat Named Nick Rivers :”I forgot my real life is a featureless void that I sublet from that Lockhorn couple next door.”
FAMILY CIRCUS: I think y’all are just misunderstanding here. See, the melonheads are just really excited about eating sand.
SlylickFox and Comix For Kinx: Those puppies look like they’re gonna make Booboo spill the first blood in the Animalapocolypse.
@The Rambling Otter:
Rambling Otter,
So sorry you had to go through that as a kid. Though you have indeed moved on, the ache will always be there to remind you to be kind. And to be compassionate to other troubled bullies who may need treatment.
@Anonymous: Bwahaha! I laughed hard at “street pizza,” which is new to me. Thank you.
Yes, there is no sign whatsoever of Slim in that pickup bed, even though he absolutely should be partly visible if he’s still there. And no sign of the Rufus/Joel luggage, either. C’mon, Scancarelli, play fair. Even by the very weird rules of your very weird universe, Invisible Slim Invisibly Sleeping In the Bed Of The Pickup does not work.
FC – “Hang up your clothes or no desert!” All across the land were rumblings of discontent. You can sense the anger as the three boys in perfect lockstep deliver their Melonhead Manifesto.
Rex Morgan – Googles “doozy” –
“Noun Informal. Something outstanding or unique of its kind.”
“Synonyms: beauty, humdinger, killer, lulu, smash hit, and something.”
NOPE.
I noticed that sockdologer is not included, but Rene’s story is definitely not that.
Frazz – It must be impossible to do a ten mile run in shoes that are two different heights.
9CL – I guess this makes me a beefwit, but I found everything – every single thing – about today’s strip to be extremely off putting.
Pluggers – The artist must have taken the June Brigman class in how to draw a person holding food. Forget the pinkie – he’s gripping that cinnamon bun like Keith has a death grip on his hamburger.
When I eat a cinnamon bun, which isn’t as often as I would like, I keep the bun on a plate and use a knife and fork. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t like icing all over the place.
@richardf8: The worst part is that the melonheads won’t be able to buy a Grand Canyon pennant to add to their pennant collection.
@Peanut Gallery: I must be an uneducated hick, too, because I think of them as skyscrapers.
@The Rambling Otter: I really hope you are now getting the help and meds you need, and I sure wish your younger self could have gotten them too. I’m sure that if someone else told you the story you just told us, you would really sympathize with that person. I hope you can move forward doing the same for yourself, and that the sharks have helped a little.
9CL: Brooke’s women are constantly playing grabass with the boys, but you never see it going the other way — strange, since these ladies are supposed to be the epitome of pulchritude and a bunch of mighty hot tomatoes. I guess Amos and Hugh know that if they tried it, they’d draw back a stump.
Sheriff Bart and the townspeople did a good job recreating Rock Ridge to fool Joel, Rufus and Hedley.
@Rube: in tomorrows strip we will see Ox in the nude! I’m predicting that based on the absurdity of this story arc.
Or maybe we will have a cross-over and see Wilbur Weston in skinny jeans.
@Peanut Gallery:
How does one say “landshark” and “candygram” in Spanish?
The TruFans are super pleased that Bets is getting away from promoting herself on evil social media.
Here’s a surprise: Mordock has a low opinion of women.
@Garrison Skunk: Tiberun de terra and Gramo del sucre, I’m sure.
@The Rambling Otter:
Garrison offers a skunkhug.
@Poteet: @Activist 1234: @taig:
Thank you so much :3
@Garrison Skunk:
-Gives you an otterhug in return- :3
Thank you!
@The Rambling Otter:
And a bunny hug too!
@The Rambling Otter: And here’s a big ol’ Elk hug… oops, sorry, that’s awkward. Let’s just paw/hoof high five! Take care of yourself, little buddy.
JP: “If it’s a crime to want to protect your family, then I’m guilty! And if it’s a crime to help the CIA capture a wanted arms dealer, I’m guilty of that too! And if it’s a crime to hand that arms dealer’s entire empire over to the Russian mafia, then… wait, is that one a crime?”
“Mr Driver, maybe you should speak to a lawyer.”
“I am a lawyer!”
“Really? Jesus…”
MT: So, Violet thought “I want to spend more time with Cherry for some reason, even though she’s always on my case about stuff. I know, I’ll spread some nasty letters about kudzu, accuse her with zero evidence, and then we can investigate it together, and hopefully something will magically turn up that exonerates her without exposing me.”
Violet, Sam Driver would look at this plan and think “Well, that doesn’t make any sense!”
Peanuts Begins: One of the weirdest things about the really early strips isn’t that Schulz thinks the main characters are Patty and Sherman, it’s that he doesn’t seem to have much idea whose dog Snoopy is, exactly.
RMMD: Well, maybe, if that had been the order things happened in…
S4th: Why? Why does Sally have to pick up her mom? Laura doesn’t want to be there. The rest of the family don’t want Laura to be there. Maybe, just maybe, Laura doesn’t have to be there.
Luann: “Good bye Gunther Berger, and the rest of you idiots.”
@Baja, I’ll have you know this showed up in my Pocket “top 10” picks today.
@taig: #112: Mordock’s opinion of women reminds me of an old joke.
Hey Mordie, do you know the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A whore fucks every guy in town while a bitch fucks every guy except you.
CS: Today’s strip reminds me of time I forced a former girlfriend to watch some critically acclaimed foreign movie I rented. She watched it but afterwards unloaded that she’s tired of watching my artsy-fartsy films and wanted a Hollywood movie starring actors she was familiar with. So to make peace I told her OK, the next time we go to the video rental place (back when there were such places) I’d stay in the car and let her go in by herself and rent whatever she wanted. She walks out clutching a VHS tape (Remember those?) with a shit-eating grin on her face. I was thinking to myself I bet it’s a Julia Roberts rom-com. It was. Later the female half of a couple we double-dated with a lot called me up saying they wanted to go see Erin Brockavitch. She asked me if Susan liked Julia Roberts. I answered do bears shit in the woods? I told her Susan would watch a movie of Julia Roberts standing on a corner hanging out with her friends.
@Horace Broon: re S4th: I hope Laura will be having Friendsgiving with her new circle at the retirement community. Maybe she even has a new boyfriend to replace Gerald, who may or may not have been a ghost. Everyone here, as well as the comic characters, will be happier if they all live their own lives.
@Guillermo el chiclero: How disappointed was Susan in that very much not-a-romcom?
@White Rabbit:
Thanks! -Gives an otterhug back-
@Formerly Wounded Elk:
-paw/hoof high-fives you- :-3
Vintage MT – Today’s soundtrack: Yackety Sax.
@TheDiva: This may also explain why the women are always in a state of unsatisfied arousal, especially since they all seem to be good Catholic girls who don’t seem to know self-satisfaction and lesbianism are perfectly viable alternatives.
Brookeworld women: “Ermagherd, a boner.”
Evansiiworld women: “Ermagherd, a boner.”
Compare. Contrast. Discuss. Discard.
@Shea VerBusch: The key distinction to begin with is that neither writer would ever reduce their beloved characters to saying something as vulgar or explicit as “Ermagherd, a boner.” However, they would tackle the issue in very different ways.
Brooke McEldowney’s path is simple, since all of his female characters are Edda or Edda-with-different-hair. “It has come to my attention, having evaluated the protuberance of your trousers, that you are inclined to exhibit symptoms of a rutting madness upon beholding my physical form in certain outfits….. Does this then mean that not all of my choices of attire evoke such madness of rutting? Hmmmmm?”
The Evanses on the other hand have many very different characters with distinct personalities, though they often swap them around with each other to suit Greg and Karen’s purposes for that given day. Generally, however, the boner would be spoken of fearfully, though also with excessive alliteration, near-rhyme, and attempted slang terms used by no actual human being ever. “Gunther’s gun is poking out of his pants!” “It’s as wriggly and sickly as a rat’s tail!” “Now that’s what I call a winding worm of worrying width!”
It goes without saying that neither would actually visually depict a character with an erection, though in the case of the Evanses the reason would be prudish decency, while for McEldowney it would be his commitment to the principle of never, ever, ever drawing what his characters are talking about.
FC: PJ can’t read, can’t really talk, and will lose interest and maybe consciousness after five minutes. Let him do the whole thing.
GA: Hey, it’s a remake of that Twilight Zone where the crabby drunk married couple find out they’re on the playset of a giant alien child. Either that or Rufus and Joel have no sense of direction. One of those two things, I reckon.
9CL: She’s manipulating the controls that turn Hugh into Little Orphan Annie? Still not interested.
GT: One Mudlark chooses this moment to point at his tattoo that hasn’t been colored in yet while his teammate has a sweaty orgasm. I miss when the sportsball in this strip was merely incoherent.
Luann: wowihatewhatallthisisdoingtoyousoIguesstheonlysolutionisforustobreakupandI’llmissyoulikecrazybutIguessI’lljusthavetosoldieronsoanywaybye
MW: Sense of anxiety grows that the table will soon be littered with shards of glass.
Phantom: The Phantom tells his son that it’s okay to get together with Savarna, presumably because he just figured out how teenagers work.
Pibgorn: Leave Meat Loaf alone, Brooke.
RMMD: Conman goes straight, while (very) slightly more respectable-looking conman starts doing the heavy grifting. It’s a great success story for our times.
@128 Peanut Gallery:
I’ve got to admit I was glad to see the pet bear show up yesterday and today and scare the living crap out of those ruffian winos.
love is… lickin’ his stamp.
@taig: #125: Actually, she loved it just because Roberts was in it. She didn’t like me picking apart the plot holes afterwards. The big thing for me in my opinion was that Erin worked part-time as a file clerk in a law firm. She was arrogant, insulting, and abrasive to all of her co-workers, treating them like dirt, what would be considered a toxic work environment. But, she was an absolute angel to the poor rubes and Okies poisoned by the evil utility company and was the only one they would talk to.
@jroggs:
A very fine soliloquy upon a pair of hate-reads we all hate to read.
Late Thread Cuisine: It’s pizza; how badly could they possibly screw it up?
@135 Guillermo el chiclero:
You just screwed up the phones.
@The Rambling Otter: I apologize for being so late to comment – it’s easy for someone else to tell you not to beat yourself up over something that wasn’t your fault. However, I hope that you are taking care of yourself and that you are being kind to yourself.
@Baja Gaijin: Sausage Beans sounds like something Pluggers grow in their gardens.
@Ukulele Ike: You’re forgetting that the males in this strip melt into a puddle of goo when they glimpse their beloved’s ankles or neck, or when they have to look for women’s underpants in a dresser drawer.
@Baja Gaijin: That’s an April fool joke, isn’t it? It has to be.
@Baja Gaijin: Shrimp was my #1 guess, but, yeah, beans would ruin a pizza.
Mary’s Worst:”Its nice to determine my own DESTINY….say, this General Foods International Purple Drank™ reminds me of that guy who altered my destiny on “The New Treasure Hunt”…what was his name….Geoff Edwards! To us…” KLUNK! “Wonder if I should’ve married Emile Autuori?” (Cue TNTH theme)
@Baja Gaijin:
: It’s pizza; how badly could they possibly screw it up?
________________________
Have you even HEARD of Montoni’s?
SallyForth: Ralph and Sally’s mom are a perfect match. This will be a Thanksgiving to remember. Or rather, forget, as soon as it’s over.
@Sequitur: #138: Don’t look at me. It was already screwed up before I last posted.
PLUGGERS: I found today’s panel somewhat disturbing because I’ve seen that same expression on at least two of my cats. They weren’t eating cinnamon buns, they were swallowing large pieces of mice they’d caught in the house. Thanks a lot for the reminder, PLUGGERS. I do appreciate the mouse control, but those totally-focused eyes, yikes.
@I speak Jive:
Thank you :)
@137 Baja Gaijin: Have these people ever seen a pizza?
Luann: What the hell is happening?
@NotGregEvans: What the hell is happening is that we are, I devoutly hope, getting closer to the point where I will no longer have to look at that big green fake book cover and see it as Boring Farschlugginer Geek.