[checks Wikipedia] Mint City! City of Trees!
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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/13/23
You know, at first I thought this was about the eternal struggle between the modern scientific method, as represented by Doc Pritchart and his flatlander medical degree, and the ancient, chthonic folk wisdom of the Holler, as represented by Granny Creeps and her cave full of potions. But then I realized that Doc is probably just trying to stop Snuffy from getting poisoned. He’s right to worry! Who the hell knows what’s in that stuff she’s going to give him!
Pluggers, 11/13/23
Look, Pluggers, I get that you’re a comic whose whole thing is that you take submissions from your readers who are, by definition, pluggers, and pluggers absolutely love to forward emails consisting of jokes that they themselves did not write to their friends and loved ones, but I feel like maybe you should Google those submitted jokes to make sure they aren’t from, say, Cool Funny Quotes Dot Com’s collection of quotes by Anonymous or a weirdly padded blog post on Grumpy Fuckers Dot Com written by “Royston Butterscotch” or a magnet you can buy from Fem Power Gifts by Getbullish or X, the website formerly known as Twitter before you go to the trouble of illustrating them with anthropomorphic chickens.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/13/23
It doesn’t count as “dramatic tension” per se, but for weeks now I’ve been really unable to tell whether or not Mud is supposed to be sincere about the Mirakle Method or not. I guess he believes both that the Method can improve your life and that people are rational economic actors who always have access to the full information they need to make spending decisions that will never regret. Buzzy, though? Buzzy seems shady. Feel like Buzzy’s gonna get forcibly Mirakl’d in the not so distant future, i.e., he’ll be weeping openly as he contemplates his own personal swingset on the moon.
Gasoline Alley, 11/13/23
I often have fun on this blog trying to figure out where exactly various syndicated newspaper strips take place. But, Gasoline Alley? Never really cared to put the energy into it, to be honest with you all. Good thing, too, because all I had to do is wait it out for a while until today, when the strip tells us the characters all live near Charlotte, North Carolina. Who would’ve guessed? Not me, I admit, but as noted I wouldn’t have tried very hard.
195 replies to “[checks Wikipedia] Mint City! City of Trees!”
Slylock Fox: “Petty Theft from Rachel Rabbit” is in the Slylockiverse’s “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders” in the section labeled “Things that are fun to do but we really shouldn’t.” It was added in DSM-IV.
Pluggers: “I said; for fuck sake, Millard, shut the bathroom door.”
Let the good folk of Little Rock, Knoxville, Wheeling, Chatanooga, Lynchburg, and other fine cities rejoice. The English language is safe in those towns since Rufus, Joel, and the other Gasoline Alley freaks don’t live closeby. As for Charlotte, well, the Queen City’s fucked.
@Hibbleton: I said, “Do you need any help in there?”
MW:
“So I’m not going to owe you anything for this meal, Kitty?”
“Yep. Ray Charles said it best, albeit in a slightly different way.”
“Ray Charles?!? What does Ray Charles have to do with any of this?”
“(You don’t owe me)
(You don’t owe me)
“You give your stand to me; then you say ‘Hello’
And I can tartly shriek; my snark is bleating so
And anyone can tell, you think you owe me? Well —
Well, you don’t owe me (no, you don’t owe me)
“No, you don’t owe the one who screams at you in fight
And longs to dis your quips, and longs to scold you right
Ohh-h, I’m just a trend; that’s all I’ve ever been
‘Cause you don’t owe me (no, you don’t owe me)
“For I never knew the art of faking love
Though my snark fakes with love for you
Upbraided, why-y? I let my chance go by
A chance that you might bug me, too (bug me, too)
“You give your stand to me; then you say ‘Good try’
I watch you walk away; you’re snide, a yucky guy
Ohh-h, you’ll never, ever owe the one who bugs you so
Well, you don’t owe me
“For I never knew the art of faking love
Though my snark fakes with love for you
Upbraided, why-y? I let my chance go by
A chance that you might bug me, too
“Oh, you give your stand to me; then you say ‘Good try’
I watch you walk away; you’re snide, a yucky guy
Ohh-h, you’ll never, ever know how much I bug you so
Well, you don’t owe me
“(You won’t bug me
You don’t owe me)”
SS: Many vulture populations worldwide are collapsing because they eat the corpses of farm animals who received medicine in their final days that’s toxic to birds. What I’m saying is, that buzzard better be careful what it wishes for. Sure, most people who visit Granny Creeps are dead within the week, but unless the vulture waits until all the herbal elixirs in Snuffy’s bloodstream are metabolised, it’ll meet the exact same fate.
Doc Pritchard needn’t worry. Snuffy isn’t going to Granny Creeps, he’s decided to cut out the middlewoman and is walking directly to the vulture, who is going to put him out of his misery by eating him alive.
BGSS: Have we seen Doc Pritchart’s office much in this strip? I think my favourite detail in there is the random chart literally nailed to the front of the nurse’s desk. Do they even know what it means? I imagine that at some point in the past, a real doctor came to town and left it behind, and now the hillbilly medical establishment worships it like they were some kind of cargo cult.
Pluggers: The really funny part about this strip is that Chicken Lady’s husband is standing just 2 feet away on the other side of the doorway. “This is what we’re supposed to do, right? The comics told me so!”
RMMD: So is Buzz running the seminars now, or do they just tape of Rene? Or…wait, nope, that’s right, I don’t care.
GA: Yeah, the town has gotten bigger, and the highway too I’ll bet. So why don’t you keep your eyes on the ro–…or not Actually, no, keep doing what you’re doing…
“Millard Trott” sounds like the name of a super villain, what evil is he doing today? Submitting stale, plagiarized jokes to Pluggers?!? [Shudder]
RMMD:
With a shirt like that, Buzzy should be running a cannabis dispensary.
GA: So then now it’s…what? A small big town? That’s some Grade-A hair-splittin’ there, Joel
RMMD: Things continue to worsen for Buzzy, as Mud impales him with the steely gaze of a true zealot.
MW: Why, oh why have Keith and Wilbur not connected? “Macho Gorilla Meets Hapless Dweeb” is a plot brimming with potential snarkability. C’mon, toss us a bone!
BG&SS: “Granny Creeps” is a moniker that I covet.
RMMD: As Fergus realizes Buzzy’s motivation is that of pure avarice, he employs one of the less talked about techniques of the Mirakle Method; “Okay, it’s back in the trunk for you.”
RMMD:
In today’s riveting installment, Mud experiences cognitive dissonance as his belief that both he and Buzzy are operating from fundamentally altruistic motives clashes with the reality that Buzzy is only crowing about cold, hard cash.
GT: Ref: “The visiting team calls heads”
And what looks like the absolute worst rap battle begins.
9CL – FINALLY!!! for years this strip has hinted at the origins of the lifelong love affair between Amos and Edda. And now it seems we will finally have a storyline that explores this history between them! When did they first meet? Have they always been madly in love their entire lives since they met at birth in the maternity ward? As children, what did they think about sex and how did they imagine their sex lives as adults would play out? Finally we will get some exploration of these themes!!!
BG&SS: That is one angry looking vulture; but I guess I’d be angry too if the only part Sid could get me was a non-speaking role in this poverty stricken strip.
Snuffy Smith : I’m surprised Doc Pritchart is wearing relatively modern scrubs, instead of that weird 1940s labcoat design that buttons up at the shoulder.
**********
Six Chix vs Safe Havens : See, if Samantha incrementally gave a bunch of perks to her test subjects (like a “gym”, or better food) instead of taunting them by keeping them locked in tiny cages while showing that a FEW of them arbitrarily get uplifted into being the experimenters instead, they wouldn’t figure out their jobs are pointless busywork.
ALSO : this is a “We can’t let ANYONE find out about our DNA Shapeshifting magic” thing, with “Even the most disloyal, illegal acts are fair game to maintain this secret” added, right? And it’s coming right after a “OH NO! An evil scientist has been misusing their research funds! I must become a whistleblower!” storyline?
yyyLuann: Evansii: “Those Mungeons are mean! We’ll use our OriginalTramp Slut Cheerleader Proxy to tell them how mean they are!”
yyPhantom: “You’re not going to fuck OUR son… I mean, you’re not going to find out about the Hidden City!”
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: You forgot the <sarcasm> tags.
BGSS: Ahahah, it’s funny because Snuffy has a terrible disease and he cannot rely on scientific medicine because it is either incurable or he cannot afford the cure!
You know you’re a Plugger when you regurgitate reactionary propaganda and glurge without realising you did not develop your own ideas but are a slave of someone else’s thinking
BG&SS – That vulture is furious. While Granny Creeps deals in herbal cures to ailments which often end in death, he prefers young women seeking love potions and charms that will inevitably kill them. Sure, he’ll eat Snuffy, but his prematurely aged body isn’t going to be good. If the vulture is lucky he’ll find a dead skunk to wash the taste out.
Pluggers – I give the creators a break, since 90% of their AOL email inbox consists of chain letters promising fortune or true love is you forward the message to 10 people.
Rex Morgan, MD – The real “Mirakle” is that this storyline that should have burned out already will somehow last through Hanukkah (Dec 7th – 15th this year).
Gasoline Alley – Either Gasoline Alley is set here, or the comic just got picked up again by the Charlotte Observer after it got dropped decades ago for Dilbert or Cathy or something. I don’t care enough to fact-check, so I will assume this is shout out to one of the few newspapers and markets willing to pick up this century old strip.
“Gasoline Alley” is commenting how, due to a series of complex factors, in recent decades the South of the USA has absorbed a lot of population and productive activities from the North, expanding urbanisation to unprecedented level. This might not be appropriate for a comics this dumb, but I actually would enjoy some long-term insights from “Gasoline Alley”, since the strip is old enough to remember when the South was an economic backwater and a white-only, segregationist one-party dictatorship.
Mud has got a lot thinner since we first saw him in this strip. I guess there are some advantages in a diet reliant on shitting yourself.
You know you’re a Plugger when you’re too stubborn to buy a hearing aid and it vastly damages the quality of your relationship
You know Royston is english because he refers to the human phallus as a ‘bellend’
JP: Sam employs a medium to contact his wife.
“Mr Driver, ‘Us’ spirits need silver to cross my palm so we can start.”
Snuffy Smith: Doc Pritchart sure is gonna look the fool when he rushes to save Snuffy from being poisoned only to instead find him and Granny Creeps boning.
Pluggers: If you’re hearing is so ruined by years of constant exposure to loud noise that you can’t even hear your loved one in the next room over… you might be a plugger.
Rex Morgan: So what, now Buzzy is the villain of the story for being happy he’s making money? That’s the best replacement for Rene as a villain we can come up with? What sort of dastardly evil is Buzzy gonna commit next, accidentally leaving too small a tip?
Gasoline Alley: I… I live in North Carolina. No… no no no, you can’t do this me, you can’t tell me I live in the same state as Rufus and Joel no!!!
DtM: “Go Younder? Have you been talking to Millard Trott again;” asks Martha
BGSS: The buzzard’s not scared, because it knows Snuffy only goes after chickens. Also, Snuffy is going to die imminently.
Pluggers: It would have been funnier if they yelled “BOK?” and “BOK?”
RMMD: I’ve read comics with Rene. Buzzy, you are no Rene.
GA: The reference photo is outdated. Or is it?!?
Frazz: You could be a hawk guy, Caulfield.
Luann: Bets has learned the valuable lesson that chasing social media clout is less important than {shudder} her love for Gunther.
CS: Ye gods, this is incredibly stupid! However, if it leads to Crankshaft locking himself in a safe and suffocating to death, I’ll revise my opinion.
MW:
“When we get together, Keith, I’ll say ‘thank you for your service!’ — to the process server who nails you at our lunch with copies of the paternity suit.”
9CL: It looks like the “sexy noir” experiment got dropped like a hot roscoe, and we’re back to familiar territory.
Zits: “I think Sara is sculpting a lifesize statue out of me from mashed potatoes.”
FC: Billy triggers Bil with that question, causing Bil to reach for his 9-iron and relentlessly smash the melonhead.
MW: Karen Moy is working very hard to challenge the patriarchy.
GA – This may be the first time I’ve commented on Gasoline Alley since the whole Boog Hoogy Honey incident of 2016. The thing is, Charlotte is one of a handful of southeastern cities, much like the ones mentioned by @KMD that’s basically bursting at the seams. So not only has Charlotte gotten big, all the bedroom communities thereof are getting sprawly as well. See also Raleigh, Nashville, Birmingham, et al.
Charlotte, because of its rapid growth without proper infrastructure makes it a nightmare to navigate. It also has streets that change names for no apparent reason, multiple times over a five mile span. It also has streets named Scalybark and Runnymeade. Mr. Cat and I used to joke about them being medieval STDs. “I lay with an unclean woman and now I have runnymeade”.
BGSS: Doc Pritchard knows Granny Creeps has upped her game and is now the doTerra rep for Hooten Holler.
Pluggers get the same holiday catalogs filled with pithy t-shirts that I do, apparently. I look forward to future strips “Pluggers are wine enthusiasts: the more wine they drink, the more enthusiastic they become” and “Pluggers don’t gossip, they share opinions about other people’s life choices.”
RMMD: Mudgus may be a better person, but he sure didn’t learn much about handing control of his life and career over to exploitative con artists, did he?
Snuffy – Doc Pritchart is in a panic to stop Snuffy from finding out that Granny Creeps’s cheap placebo-effect potions are more effective than most of his expensive prescription drugs.
SS: I assume that the chart pinned to the front of the desk reflects the daily fluctuations in the population of Hootin’ Holler, clearly tracking the struggle of Doc “Scrubs” Pritchard to keep his patients alive using all the medical advantages he can provide in the sterile surroundings of his “Red Cross” splattered office, vs. the questionable ministrations of Granny Creeps with her mumbling spells and potions administered in her dank cavern where she uses cauldrons to boil down the carrion of her late patients to feed her pet vulture. Oddly enough, the chart seems to show that patients have equal chances of being cured, whether they see Doc or Granny. Just sayin’.
Pluggers – “I SAID, something’s burning in the kitchen! Don’t you see the smoke coming in from behind you? Now hurry up and check the oven before your cousin Emily is ruined!”
Gasoline Alley-I wouldn’t have guessed because I don’t care. What does geography mean to a place where time doesn’t exist.
FC-Daddy lost two and the girl from the pro shop helped him look for those.
FC-We’re doing this lame family newspaper bit for another week?
RMMD-“As long as I get my cut then some people don’t have to get cut.”
JP-How many times must we retread this story.
Pluggers-Yelp that’s pretty much my parents’ marriage.
BG&SS – Is that an EKG readout pinned to the nurse’s desk? You’ve got to hand to Doc Pritchart. Hiding your HIPAA violations in plain sight is a bold move.
Charlotte, home of Giant Helicopters, Inc., your one-stop shop for all your giant helicopter needs. From the lowly Chinook to the Mil V-12, if it looks too big to fly, you can get it at Giant Helicopters! Just off I-85, look for the dangerously massive rotors!
GA – “I knew I shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque.”
Barney Google & Snuffy Smith: “I’ve got to get to Snuffy before Granny Creeps swindles him blind! That’s my job!”
Don Abundio, translated:
“What are you doing on your day off, Polonio?”
“I have a date with Demeter, the goddess of agriculture and fertility”
“You knucklehead! You can’t date a mythological woman!”
“Sure I can! She’s perfect!”
Also Barney Google & Snuffy Smith: I don’t know what Doc Pritchard is so upset about. The Medicare reimbursement rate has been stuck at 3 chickens per office visit for years now.
9CL: Edda hasn’t changed her fashion in fifteen years. In fact, I think that’s the exact same outfit she wears now; the fit is just a little different.
Dustin: I’m sure that some Food Network host or another has come up with a delicious cheese-and-bacon stuffing recipe, but I’m guessing Dustin and Dustdad just wrapped a pack of Hormel around a block of Velveeta, shoved it in the bird and called it good.
JP: Agent English Teacher is disappointed. She was looking forward to an extended waterboarding of Sam Driver, but all they needed to do to make him crack was take away his cell phone for a day.
Luann: “I should have realized I could do much better than Gunther AGES ago!”
MT: I’m not sure the two are mutually exclusive.
MW: “I draw the line at you keeping your maiden name or having your own credit cards, though.”
@ectojazzmage: re GA: Charlotte has gotten so uppity after getting a few banks and some pro sports teams that most of us don’t consider it a part of NC anymore. Just let South Carolina have it, along with Rufus and Joel. (sorry, Liam ;-)
Buzzy comes across as a former mafia guy astounded you can make a living in the real economy. “What, all you have to do is work eight hours a day and they give you a check every week? What a scam I’m in on!”
Gasoline Alley: Joel may try to act all cool and experienced, but the mere sight of a small big town has got him so discombobulated his pipe’s upside down dropping hot ash in Rufus’ lap. To be clear, that’s a good thing.
Pluggers are dirty plagiarists. There. That’s the joke. You happy now?
@TheDiva: 9CL: Edda hasn’t changed her fashion in fifteen years. In fact, I think that’s the exact same outfit she wears now; the fit is just a little different.
You mean she hasn’t started wearing her kids’ clothes yet? Some would probably fit more appropriately. Just saying.
Pluggers: Since we’ve learned that this exchange is a Universal Truth, I don’t understand why Plugger marriage counselors aren’t setting up hearing aid franchises as a sideline. It would seem to be a natural fit.
Charlotte, North Carolina, has three nicknames? What the hell?
If they’re the “Queen City” now, what are we supposed to call Cincinnati? “Weird Spaghetti Chili-town?” “That Old Sitcom About the Radio Stationville?” “Closer to Kentucky Than You Realize?”
Rex Morgan: I like the cut of Buzzy’s gib. As an agent, he needs to keep an eagle eye out for monetizing his talent pool at every opportunity. In just a few months with him, Mud’s making wildly more money than Truck’s made his entire time with Buck Wise.
Plus Buzzy’s become the “interesting” person in this strip since Mud’s conversion to Fergus.
Rex Morgan, M.D.: I for one am shocked that someone would suggest members of the [checks notes] music industry might act like ruthless predators!
I would say it’s probably not a good idea for a man who literally just came out from the hospital not too long ago, for a concussion (that wasn’t actually treated?) to be driving.
But, I don’t write a 100+ year old legacy strip.
@56 Ukulele Ike: Maybe “Graeter Ice Cream City” would be another possible Cincinnati nickname?
Gasoline Alley: Christmas is coming! You know what that means… horny elves and elf sex-bots!
Snuffy entered the cave slowly, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the gloom. The air around him with redolent with the smell of spices and herbs, all undercut by the damp mustiness of the underground. A dim light beckoned him forward and soon he saw the low-burning hearth, the cauldron bubbling with promise and mystery, and the stunted form of Granny Creeps, so small and withered with time, but her shadow loomed like a mountain on the wall of the cave. “Smif,” she said, in a tiny voice that echoed. “Knew ye’d come. Cain’t help ya. I’m outta network for yer HMO. Come on back aft’r open season, then we talk.”
BG&SS – Granny Creeps was as damned by her name to her lot in life as Goofus, or Bugs Meaney.
What else was she gonna be with that name, a schoolteacher? Nope, dispensing potions from a cave is what she was fated to do.
MW: Somebody, somewhere, sometime, should have taught Keith Hillend that THERE IS NO FREE LUNCH. Make no mistake, this meal is gonna cost him.
9CL-I see that once again Brook has filled the background with his ‘genius’.
Snuffy Smith-Rex Morgan works out of a cave? I thought he worked out of an idling van in back alleys.
Blondie-“At least my teacher doesn’t beat us for mistakes.”
@ectojazzmage:
On the one hand, I’d think they’re driving in from Gaffney, South Carolina to see the NASCAR museum. On the other, I have a sneaking suspicion that this is just their morning commute to their desks at the commercial loan desk of Bank of America.
MW: “You know, I’m a highly-paid executive and I make easily four times your pension income. But thanks for reminding me why I dumped you after a month.”
RMMD: 1. A thing is worth what a fool wants to pay for it. 2. A fool and his money are soon parted.
Discuss.
RMMD: Nice try covering for these goobers, text box, but Mud and Buzzy are clearly still onstage. And considering this audience is likely filled with traditional reporters and social media influencers looking for juicy content, Buzzy should have held off from his enthusiastic yelping about how much cash they’re squeezing out of these rubes until after they were no longer in eyesight and earshot of said rubes.
SlyF: Nice try covering for your gluttonous girlfriend after she ate six slices in the time it took you to eat one, Harry, but even if it was four and three you should know by now that Slylock Fox demands absolute precision in all casually spoken statements. Something to think about when they’re giving you your blindfold and last cigarette.
Luann: Sure, Bets, just park wherever, it’s not like anyone else uses the street. No, but seriously, where the hell are everyone else’s cars? This is supposedly a respectably-sized party of college-aged people who would have had to travel more-than-walking distance to get to Tiffany’s suburban “manse,” yet this street is barren. They even explicitly said Luann drove, so it’s not like everyone had their moms drop them off in their minivans. Sorry, a little off-topic, but this failure of mise-en-scene is way more interesting than whatever the actual plot is supposed to be.
JP: Well, this week was tedious and narratively counterproductive. Even worse, Marciuliano’s universal character speech impediment is… is coming back after he’d been doing… doing so well recently. But if this means we don’t have to look at Helena Bowerns for a good long while, then it was a process we simply had to endure for the greater good. Which brings us back around to someone that no one needs: Sam Driver. He’s made it this far into the story without performing a single action of note, but can his famous passiveness make it down this final stretch? Or will he break and finally actually do something to affect the story beyond standing around and mumbling?
Pluggers: It’s probably safe to assume all of these have appeared on a magnet, mug or t-shirt at one time or another.
A&J: Why am I happy Arlo & Janis will visit the kids for Thanksgiving? Should comics make me happy? Has my life been a lie until now?
MW: We’ll find out how firm Keith’s stance is on “the man should always pay” when it’s 18 years of back child support.
Luann: You know a comic strip is bad when learning that Tiffany lives on a suburban street with neighbors close by is the only interesting about it.
H&L: That $320 grocery receipt is way longer than it should be.
MW: (at the restaurant next Saturday) “I’m the man, I should pay.”
“Exactly, Keith. Here’s the tuition bill for Sonia’s next semester at Taft Community college. And here’s a spread sheet with all her previous expenses from the last twenty years itemized. My lawyers have set up a convenient payment plan for you. But lunch today is on me!”
BGSS – Wait, I’m confused. I thought Doc Pritchart was an uncredentialed charlatan who hung out a shingle in Hootin’ holler because there, at least, he would always have a chicken in the pot, if not a dollar in the bank. Granny Creeps, on the other hand, would have had a long apprenticeship to the Baba Yaga who preceded her, and whose hut, mortar, and pestle she would have inherited only by becoming powerful enough to destroy her mistress in magical combat. I think we all know who’s got the better qualification!
It would have been very easy for the Pluggers artist not to subtly indicate that that chicken has mammary glands under her sweater. And yet he did! It’s the kind of hard-workin’ effort that animates the ethos that Pluggers celebrates, inasmuch as they’re putting in honest labor doing something pointless that makes the world worse.
As many pointed out, the Pluggers “WHAT?” is where one plugger is in the bathroom. I’ll make another PLUGGERS joke by stating what my dad used to say when someone was taking too long in the batheroom, “You need pliers in there?”
Della perched on the corner of Perry Mason’s desk as the counselor perused the files in front of him. He picked up the one on the top of the pile, noting that a medical chart that had been clipped on the outside.
“What’s this, Della?” he asked, frowning. “This looks like a medical malpractice case. You know we don’t take those. Medical malpractice suits sound like a bargain for lawyers, but they’re more of a pain than they’re worth. The paperwork alone will ruin our bottom line.”
“I know that, Perry,” Della began. “But you might want to make an exception in this case. The patient bringing the lawsuit is Paul Drake.”
“Paul? I don’t understand. I referred him to my same top-notch physician, Dr. Jeff Cory, and I know he’s been seeing Jeff routinely!”
“Well, it seems he was treated by two other medical professionals when he went on that fishing trip in Hooting Hollow. You know that out-of-the-way place he likes to go when he needs to relax?”
“Yes, I do. It’s actually called Hootin’ Holler by the locals. Generally speaking, it’s a poor area that never received its proper share of consonants. But the fishing there is great! When did he get back?”
“As far as I understand it, he’s still there, holed up in some cave being treated by a homeopathic.”
“Della. I thought we moved past that kind of language a long time ago. I’m disappointed.” Perry opened the file and studied the contents. “Who’s this Dr. Pritchard?”
“He’s a brilliant physician who earned his degree at Stanford before returning to his hometown to practice. It’s all there. The thing is, Paul still wanted a second opinion when Dr. Pritchard diagnosed acute appendicitis. Paul thought it was just indigestion, and he’d heard that Dr. Creep had some herbal remedies to relieve his condition. So he went to see her instead of submitting to surgery in Dr. Pritchard’s rural office.”
“And…?”
“Well, it seems appendicitis was the correct diagnosis, and Dr. Creep had to act quickly when it burst. She’s not a qualified surgeon, but her pet vulture had some field experience pecking organs out, so the two of them dragged Paul to the roadside so the vulture could work in more familiar surroundings, with better light. It wasn’t the cleanest wound, but Dr. Creep applied an herbal poultice and it seems to be healing well.”
Perry shook his head. “Well, it’s unfortunate that Paul had such an emergency so far from home, but under the circumstances, it seems as if everyone did the best they could. Why is Paul initiating punitive action?”
“It turns out the vulture wasn’t certain which was the appendix, and to be safe, it took out the appendix, all right, but also removed the liver, one kidney, and about two feet of lower intestine.”
“Why so drastic a surgery??” Perry asked, appalled. “Surely the vulture could distinguish an intestine from a kidney!”
“It was late afternoon, coming on dinnertime.”
@Liam: #41
“FC-We’re doing this lame family newspaper bit for another week?”
Looks like it…yet to come are “Mom’s Korner – hints and tips for teh Kitchun,” “PJ’s new word,” “Kitty Kat throws up – illustrayted by Jeffy,” “My Day at Skool” by Dolly.
The biggest surprise is not that more effort was put into drawing that skyline than developing any of this strip’s characters, but that Rufus and Joel appear to be driving in their lane and obeying traffic laws. These small touches of dignity are the only things keeping them out of Hootin’ Holler.
Gasoline Alley: I have to give them credit, that actually looks like Charlotte’s skyline. I know reference photos are just things we Google in 2023 but they had a goal and then executed it.
Clearing the lowest possible bar probably shouldn’t impress me but, as I noted, it’s 2023. That’s where we’re all living now.
Actually, Dagwood is always ready.
@jroggs: You are nailing the 69 Award this week.
Rhymes With Orange – This comic is cute and amusing but has a strong undercurrent of danger. I hope that Sid had at least one highly trained employee monitoring this. After all, Willa and Stellan are two of his biggest stars.
Frazz – Or the neighbor’s chihuahua.
9CL – Obviously Brooke didn’t bother with a plot, but surely he has at least a couple of weeks of scintillating, witty, detective noir dialogue in mind. But he’s dropped the dreck noir crap and gone back to Edda and Amos as children retcon.
Seriously, I thought it was love at first sight in the hospital nursery when they were newborns.
FC – Honestly, Billy is more believable as a sportswriter than Ray Romano was in Everybody Loves Raymond.
@Ukulele Ike: MW: “You know, I’m a highly-paid executive and I make easily four times your pension income. But thanks for reminding me why I dumped you after
a month you blew your wad 30 seconds after you entered me.”FIFY
Hi and Lois-They’ve got the standard loaf of bread sticking out of the bag.
Beetle Bailey-No matter how hard Beetle scrubs he can’t remove Sarge’s scent from his body.
Gasoline Alley-“We’re a long way from Mayberry.”
Gasoline Alley-If I was to give ‘Gasoline Alley’ a location it would be Indiana.
9CL – How many retcons are we going to get?
There was an original run of the strip for thirty years where Amos was a secondary character but eventually ended up boinking Edda and falling for her.
Then a retcon where Amos met Edda in the maternity ward on the day they both were born and they fell instantly and permanently in love.
Then we went back with another retcon so that we could remove all trace of any other prior love interests from earlier storylines.
Then we did a retcon where they actually met on a swingset when she kissed him and they immediately fell permanently in love.
Then the lengthy sequence of establishing that they have been a couple since early childhood, and Edda has always led Amos around by the … nose … on her quest to discover what adults do on their honeymoon.
And today we get a new retcon where they didn’t instantly fall in love at the first meeting. I can’t wait to learn what happened next!!!
I don’t know when Hootin’ Holler got hooked up to the internet but somehow Snuffy ended up “doing his own research” and, well, RIP Snuffy Smith.
Gasoline Alley-“I don’t think we’re in Mt. Olive anymore.”
@Victor Von: Since the first one was erected in Stamford, Connecticut, in the late ‘70s, nearly EVERY medium-sized American city has one of those cantilever-top skyscrapers. Whoever that architect is, he must be rolling in dough.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box:
Eternal true love begins at conception.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: Brooke is going to die within the next few years, he’s already had ONE stroke, and THEN what are we gonna talk about every day?
We should all be sending him lots and lots of fan mail — give him the idea of grooming the young puppetress to become his successor.
BG&SS – I think a consult from the Gadarene demoniac is in order. Just don’t go wasting any of my pigs as part of the cure….
Pluggers – Don’t waste your time talking to a Plugger with putty-colored boxes behind their ears. They just never seem able to swipe the right size button batteries….
RMMD – I challenge anyone to find a better price than ours for a cure based on kissing a relic of the true cross….
GA – Gotta be a powerful passel of pussies to crush in a conurbation like that….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@ectojazzmage: #29: re-GA: Oh well, you still have Andy Griffith to brag on, but not so such Lizard Lick Towing.
Phantom: So this long father-son talk means we’re going to miss out on Savarna taking a shower, doesn’t it?
Pluggers – Who knew that birds had mammaries, not to be confused with the chicken breasts sold at groceries stores everywhere.
An old guy I knew years ago frequently used the expression, “As useless as tits on a duck,” to denigrate something stupid.
@I speak Jive: re RwO: Oh, no need to worry! No Fish were endangered in the making of this comic. That “Fish dispenser” is a prop created by the makers of “Gold, the Tiny Fish in a Jar.” And good news for all you Cat lovers – this quality item will be one of our holiday merch offerings!
Yes, your Cat will be entranced by the “swimming Fish” action, and when a coin is inserted in the handy paw-friendly slot, they’ll get a Fish-shaped Kitty Treat in a variety of holiday flavors! (sold separately) Since most house Cats have no idea what a Fish is or what they taste like, this is the perfect gift for your nature-deprived Fluff-ball!
And how about those Cats starring today!! Great job in illustrating just how easy it is to use, and the enthusiastic reaction you can expect! Order soon, these won’t last! (no stated or implied guarantee)
Denis the Menace:
You can rhyme all you want being smooth as wild honey
But one thing for sure, it won’t make it funny.
@Anonymous: An old guy I knew years ago frequently used the expression, “As useless as tits on a duck,” to denigrate something stupid.
In my world, it was “as useless as tits on a boar,” which is perhaps more apropos, as boars actually do have vestigial, useless tits.
Luann: Sunday Luann may have been bad, but at least it was a break from the insipid excuse for a plot to which we now return.
@97 White Rabbit:
I once heard someone say, “Useless as tits on your ass.” That caused a double take.
Pluggers: There’s a difference between yelling “What?” (as in, “I can’t hear what you’re saying”) and “What?!” (as in, “I can’t believe you said something so stupid!”). In plugger marriages, the likelihood of either meaning is about 50-50.
Pluggers: “Fuck you!” “No, fuck you!”
GA; Wait, what??! Slim was on his way home from his tire delivery in Charlotte when he picked up these two goobers, who are specifically supposed to be driving home now, so why aren’t they trying to figure out how to turn around instead of discussing the skyline? Also, isn’t Slim’s ample form visible enough in the bed of the pickup to inspire a few phone calls to the Highway Patrol reporting the illegal sleeping knucklehead? Also, I was happier when the location of GASOLINE ALLEY was left up in the ether, but since it has now been brought down to earth, sympathies to you folks in the Charlotte area. Better you than us, though.
@nescio: “Millard Trott” sounds a lot like “Kilgore Trout,” the fictional author created by Kurt Vonnegut.
Memo to Pluggers: When your spouse shouts an alarmed ‘What?’ from the toilet, the proper response is “Are you OK?” or “Should I call 911?”
MW: Okay, I give up. Apparently my recent rant was inappropriate, and not telling the dad of your kid that he’s a dad for twenty years or so is something that one can make up for by paying for several lunches. At least a few of the lunches have to be tablecloth lunches, however! You can’t just offer McDs for THIS booboo, Kitty!
@Flipper:
I have submitted some Pluggers phrases that I can almost guarantee have never been on a refrigerator.
Pluggers have a talk-in tub, not a walk-in tub.
You’re a plugger if your “feeder goldfish” is now pan sized.
Pluggers “best china” came in boxes of laundry soap, one dish at a time.
Pluggers only use their “smart” phone for dumb things
Young co-workers ask Pluggers if they went to Woodstock.
I haven’t (yet) submitted:
Pluggers remember the Reagan Administration as a time of peace and prosperity
You’re a plugger if you can’t remember who died and left your current coffee
cup in the office break room.
You might be a plugger if you or your wife is a church secretary
You’re a plugger if you played “Rook” as a kid because regular playing cards are sinful.
You’re a plugger if you have a fake Thomas Kinkade painting
Plugger serial killers can field dress their victims.
You might be a plugger if your neighborhood little league team had
to change its name because the old one was racist.
@Sequitur: My dad used to say “Useless as tits on a nun.”
Daddy’s Home: Wilbur as a teenager.
“A licence to print money? Rene can get you one of those! Here’s the one he gave me.”
Zits Spanish to English.
Archie – “Nobody smiles when they’re doing calculus.” That’s right up there with “In space, no one can hear you scream.”
“The town’s flipped! Just like my Popeye pipe!”
@Lord_Flatulence:
@Sequitur: My dad used to say “Useless as tits on a nun.”
_________________________________________
Guess your Dad never saw the X-rated cut of “The Blues Brothers”.
Archie-Except for Dilton.
If you try to convince someone of a falsehood by saying “Do chickens have ears?” instead of “Do chickens have lips?” ….you might be a Plugger.
@Voshkod:
Not “Did you fall in?”?
Slylick Fox And Comix For Kinx : in today’s very special episode of “Law & Order- Rabbit Crimes Unit, Sly reveals his Achilles heel as he goes into a daze Shatner singing “One is the oddest number you will ever know…” Special appearance by Jerry Orbach as the Coatimundi.
@Flipper, Luann: Wait, I thought the Manse was isolated and away from civilization, which is why Tiffany never wanted to stay there alone after the burglary.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box, 9CL: Amos and Edda first met and fell in love as kids, after they watched Bruce Wayne’s parents being gunned down in an alley near a theatre.
Pluggers: “You know I can’t hear you when the water’s running.”
@Garrison Skunk: @Sequitur: My dad used to say “Useless as tits on a nun.”
_________________________________________
Guess your Dad never saw the X-rated cut of “The Blues Brothers”.
====
Yes, there’s a whole genre of nunsploitation movies. Including Ken Russell’s The Devils, highly recommended by the American Mothers’ Exploitation Movie Appreciation Society.
@Lord_Flatulence:
Kurt Vonnegut Is Alive And Submitting To PLUGGERS” is the title of my next book. Available wherever fine books are stolen.
@astroboy:
Got me thinking of the movie pilot to the old Buzz Lightyear cartoon, where Buzz’s close friend “Warp Darkmatter” turns out to be evil, and backstabs the team. Buzz is shocked.
Warp: Really… you’re so surprised? My name is Darkmatter!
@Garrison Skunk: I guess that really depends on how old the Plugger in question is.
@The Rambling Otter: Heh, a lot of old sci-fi movies started with some old scientist basically saying to the hero “You remember my hot virgin daughter, of course. And this is my faithful assistant, Evil T.Evilson, from Evilvania.”
@115 Garrison Skunk:
Then there’s the chap from England visiting Texas. He was told, “Everything’s bigger in Texas.” He was walking along, fell in a swimming pool and yelled, “Don’t flush! Don’t flush!”
Pluggers – Stone Cold Steve Austin is a Plugger.
Snuffy Smith-Granny Creeps must be Mary Worth’s ‘Snuffy Smith’ name.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: You are nailing the 69 Award this week.
Nailing and 69 are two different things, Scratchy.
@Hibbleton: Pluggers: “I said; for fuck sake, Millard, shut the bathroom door.”
What?
@pugfuggly: Pluggers: The really funny part about this strip is that Chicken Lady’s husband is standing just 2 feet away on the other side of the doorway. “This is what we’re supposed to do, right? The comics told me so!”
What?
@nescio: “Millard Trott” sounds like the name of a super villain, what evil is he doing today? Submitting stale, plagiarized jokes to Pluggers?!? [Shudder]
What?
DT: Okay, a much more interesting mystery than “Who is the killer and why is it X. Libris?” is “Have Dick’s trademark hat and coat been in the colours of Neo-Chicago Police Academy this entire time, or was canary yellow already his personal colour even as a cadet and he had the sweater specially made?”
HtH: Actually, as with the Celts, the Vikings had great respect for their acerbic wits, and anybody who beat one up would be regarded with scorn. They had to fear retaliation, sure, but it was retaliation in kind — resorting to physical violence would just expose you as too dull-witted to engage in flyting.
Heath: Heathcliff has formed a dark pact with demonic creatures from Hell. That’s it, that’s today’s strip.
Phantom: Don’t worry, Stripey, it’s not like Mozz told him anything important, so your obsessive need to keep everything secret from everybody is safe.
SH: Uh-oh. Holbrook is about to dissert on why Samantha is totally right to supress Magic Genetics, because the world outside the lab is full of people who would misuse it for their own gain, which is very different from how literally everyone inside the lab uses it. I may rant about this at greater length as the week goes on, sorry.
I’ve commented before on how I feel Holbrook’s biggest weakness as a writer is Protagonist-Centred Morality, where the things the main characters do can’t be bad because It’s Them Doing It. And, just as with Kevin & Kell and “a predator eating someone because they have a personal grudge against them is the worst crime ever, unless you’re Coney Dewclaw in which case they probably deserved it”, this even applies to fictional moral situations where he’s making up the rules himself.
@White Rabbit: re Pluggers: “You know I can’t hear you when the water’s running. In fact, I can’t even hear the water running.”
“Well turn the darn faucet off, Earl! We don’t need another flooded bathroom.”
@The Breathtaking Bonehead Brothers:
Why?
@Liam: Inside the Keane Kompound, the National Enquirer or the New York Post would be the equivalent of the Guardian–too good for the melonheads. Of course, there are uses for the Family Times–such as lining Kittycat’s litterbox, wrapping fish or perhaps lining a bird cage or two. (Does the Keane Kompound have a bird cage?) Or to clean up after Barfy after he lives up to his name!!!!!
@Horace Broon:
Beastars is if you take Kevin and Kell’s “Predators eat prey animals despite both being equally sentient in a modern animal world” but actually makes it good writing.
But at the same time, like with Bojack Horseman I can’t watch Beastars because it’s WAAAAYYY too bleak.
@The Rambling Otter:
Honestly, every anthropomorphic animal franchise in fiction that isn’t specifically geared to kids, is just dark.
Even ones that are geared towards kids, like “Redwall” with it’s massive violence, or “The Raccoons” which was pretty heavy with the themes they dealt with.
@The Rambling Otter: And “The Fantastic Mr. Fox.” Those three farmers were fucked up.
@Ettorre: I actually would enjoy some long-term insights from “Gasoline Alley”, since the strip is old enough to remember when the South was an economic backwater and a white-only, segregationist one-party dictatorship.
Gasoline Alley is older than Queen Elizabeth II’s mother. Let that one sink in.
@astroboy:
What else was she gonna be with that name,
___________________________________
She could become a painter, I’d buy a Granny Creeps original with the (non-googly) eyes that seem to follow you around the room. I’m sure others would too. Just right for that secret room behind the bookcase.
Don’t forget Nude Nuns with Big Guns, which is on my permanent record with Netflix of having ordered it when they were still sending out DVDs.
@Sequitur:
Oh,no, Mr Wilson just poked a hole in the laughing square! Now how will the cast asphyxiate?
Luann: Sorry Bets, but if you’re still willing to be with Gunther, you are indeed an idiot.
@Peanut Gallery: “Nobody smiles when they’re doing calculus.”
Well, they might smile a little at the margins, but it is practically infinitesimal.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Yes, they sold me a copy of your permanent record. It was only $2.95, and darn well worth it! How else would I know about Nuns on the Run?
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: O brave new world,
That has such people in’t!
Snuffy Sniff: I like to think we’re seeing a Mrs Doubtfire-esque farce here as the Doc and Granny are in fact the same person using elaborate stage makeup and costuming to fleece everyone in town coming and going.
No idea why they’re going to this much trouble just for a payment of chickens though…unless of course the true identity of Doc/Granny is a fox in a Looney Tunes short.
Shee-it, you’re cheap. Like a Plugger. And I know we both have gotten stuff on Pluggers. Who else among you mudges?
But the folks emailing me that they have video of me wanking to porno on the web are asking a lot more than $2.95.
You’re no Rene Belluso.
@Sequitur: A version of the joke I heard has a Texan visiting Alaska and falling into the lake. This was around the time Alaska became a state, so I suppose Texas haters were having a good time razzing them.
Rufus can drive a car? Joel and Rufus have a car? Did they trade in Becky?
MW – “… and Sonia’s always wanted a little brother or sister…”
@146 Naked Bunny with a Whip:
It’s not their vehicle. It’s Slim’s truck. You can see why Rufus is driving it…
Here
Here
and Here
@Ukulele Ike:
Well to be fair, it IS a Roald Dahl story, and fucked up villains are his M.O
Them dying or being disposed of in horribly sadistic ways is his other.
@Sequitur:
I’m reminded of a Richard Scarry story, that took place in Denmark (I think it was Denmark) the protagonist was a tour guide, and one tourist was a Texan who would say towards everything he was shown “This/that/everything is bigger in Texas!”
Then a hole burst in the dam, and there was the threat of more of the dam deteriorating if not fixed quickly.
“We have to temporarily plug the hole, while we repair the dam!”
“But we don’t have anything big enough to plug the hole with!”
They then all turn and look at the Texan. (His butt fit perfectly)
@151 The Rambling Otter:
I guess you could say they were saved by Tex-ass.
Maybe you wouldn’t say it.
Millard Trott is a hack.Or at least a plagiarist.
@The Rambling Otter: I can’t remember the title, but I remember reading that as a little kid. I was nuts for Richard Scarry’s books. He was so funny—even now as an official old fart, the image of the fat Texan stuffed in the dike makes me laugh.
GA: I am sort of kind of hoping that Slim will wake up, sit up, look around, realize where he is and what is happening, and suffer a massive cardiac event. It’s about time someone in this strip died, and obviously Walt doesn’t plan to do his share.
@Baja Gaijin: I’ve long thought that Cincinnati’s nickname, or perhaps motto, should be “Where Pigs Fly.”
https://images.app.goo.gl/c4eh9M24b27E9co88
Late Thread Cuisine: After yesterthread’s plate, I couldn’t decide between something with mayonnaise or something with no mayo.
@Baja Gaijin: Thanks. I hate them both.
@cheech wizard: Oh hell. Now I need to go to Cincinnati to see that. Seriously, that’s genius.
@taig: The Prawn and Grape Cocktail could be good, if you left out the grapes. And I’m fond of gefilte fish, so “fish balls” hold no terror for me.
@157 taig: Really? Not even the groovy forks for the fish balls?
@158 Ukulele Ike: The fish balls hold no terror for you. What about the Fish Pudding?
Admittedly, I’m not really a “seafood” person (no Bum Boat for me!), but those two do nothing to convince me to change my mind.
@160 taig: I’m pretty sure the fish balls and fish pudding are on The Bum Boat’s menu.
rmmd looks like buzzy has been around renne too long he has picked up the habit of being only in in for the money and runn9ng the thing as a scam like rennee did. luann hopefuly betts ir running to not only get the truth from gunther and luann but also give step a peace of her mind or make tiffs day and wind up knocking her out
@Baja Gaijin: I actually ENJOY English/Scottish/Irish cuisine (haggis is GOOD potted shrimps are GOOD bloaters are GOOD), and fish pudding sounds suspiciously English to me. I’d try it, sure.
The Anchor & Hope in London has been serving haute Brit cooking since 2006, and it may be my favorite restaurant over there.
@163 Ukulele Ike: As someone who just bought a pair of Christmas puddings, I can definitely tell you this fish pudding is not English. Here’s the recipe:
@Baja Gaijin: With mayo – There’s too much mayo in that.
Hold the mayo – Ye gods. I’m a fan of almost all fish and seafood, but I recoiled from that. Maybe it tastes better than it looks. However, did you notice that the prawns or whatever they are have actual EYES that really are LOOKING AT YOU?!
@165 I speak Jive: Too much mayo? 2/3 cup of mayo per “cocktail” is too much? Just kidding; that’s mayo for 4 servings. I think the prawns staring at you in the upper left are embedded in the fish pudding.
@Baja Gaijin: It’s a big quenelle. I made a batch of chicken quenelles in broth with vegetables not long ago, and they were terrific. But quenelle means “fish” to most Frenchmen. Means “meatball” to most non-French, but they have flour instead of breadcrumbs. And butter, and a touch of cream. Not health food.
@I speak Jive: Yeah, those prawns are headless. Stay out of France and New Orleans, where shrimp are nearly always served up with heads intact. Ya RIP ‘EM RIGHT OFF before consuming the tender torsos.
@167 Ukulele Ike: You cooked up a horse racing bet involving two horses? EW.
@Baja Gaijin: I invite you over for a plate of ragout deux chevaux, with a light salad of torn Bibb lettuces and a few glasses of an insouciant little Bordeaux.
@169 Ukulele Ike: Where do you get horse meat in the US? In France it’s in every butcher shop and hypermarket.
@Baja Gaijin: Too much mayo – I like mayonnaise, but very sparingly. It’s one of the things I have to be careful about eating.
@Ukulele Ike: Good grief. Olive eyes were bad enough.
@156 Baja Gaijin:
Son of a bitch it’s fish. And fish. And worst of all there’s shrimp everywhere, the crap suckers of the sea. I’ll let myself out now hoping my dreams will not be affected by all this.
@Ukulele Ike: It’s down on the riverfront, near the stadiums. Four of them, one each on an old riverboat-style smokestack forming a gate. They’ve kind of become the symbol of Cincy – they have a Flying Pig marathon and other things featuring them.
89 Liam November 13th, 2023 at 8:39 am
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box:
“Eternal true love begins at conception.”
Egad, what a thought! Amos and Edda are twins separated at birth, who meet, get married and produce progeny! (I suppose I should add a NTTAWWT, just to be on the safe side)
@Baja Gaijin: I catch them and kill them with my BARE HANDS. Freaks the pushcart peddlers right out.
@The Breathtaking Bonehead Brothers: Just so you know, I heard all of that in the Chappelle Lil Jon voice
@Lothar+of+the+Hill+People: Some good ones in there! I had to look up Rook because I never heard of it before. The design of the deck seems pretty straightforward, except I can’t figure out why they added a 14 card.
@Horace Broon:
So, just a recap of things we already knew. And it’s not even a Sunday!
@Baja Gaijin: Most of your featured recipes are in the Horror Food genre, but that “Prawn and Grape Cocktail” is a solid example of Comedy Food. The name alone for starters, but the clincher is the lettuce and tomato, no dressing, mashed down into the bottom of a glass. Hilarious!
@Baja Gaijin: As Sheldon Cooper would say, that is not a fork. That’s a trident.
@171 I speak Jive: You won’t have to worry about attracting attention from Wilbur Weston with that admission.
@172 Sequitur: And many of those shrimps are staring at you with their unblinking charcoal-black Boog-eyes.
@175 Ukulele Ike: Only the freshest horse steaks for you!
@179 Peanut Gallery: Ahh but there is dressing! The recipe has you mix mayonnaise with “flavored bottle sauce,” whatever that is. I think it may be HP Sauce since the photo credit is from HP Sauce.
@180 Peanut Gallery: With all respect to Mr. Cooper, seafood forks have 3 tines.
@182 Baja Gaijin:
And some are snake-like and eely and will crawl up your arms!
@182 Baja Gaijin:
And some are snake-like and eely and will crawl up your arms!
(That’s a rhyme, son.)
@Baja Gaijin:
YA GET NO BREAD WITH ONE FISH BALL!
https://www.ibiblio.org/jimmy/folkden-wp/?p=8285
@183 Sequitur: They’re creepy enough for some of these mid-century horror recipes. I’m not asking how you found them.
@185 Baja Gaijin:
Hey, you find things, I find things. We all find things. Most of the things we find we never link.
@184 cheech wizard:
So Roger McGuinn of The Byrds now writes about fish balls. Sad.
@pugfuggly: Just so you know, I heard all of that in the Chappelle Lil Jon voice
“Tell me the name of the player on second base.”
“Hhhh-wat?”
“The player on second base.”
“Hhhh-wat?”
“The guy on second.”
“Hhhh-wat?”
“Ugh. What U Manager Gon’ Do?”
@Baja Gaijin: “Grind 2 lb. white fish 2 or 3 times until very fine.”
That right there, forget it fifty times.
@Baja Gaijin: It is Gefilte Fish! Hell, with the potato starch option it’s non-gebrokts gefilte fish, suitable for the Passover Seder at the Chabad house. And Chabadniks eat like it’s 1975 anyway!
Re Pluggers submissions: MAD’s Dave Berg held that most of his gags were true stories from friends and neighbors. Going through a book collection, I couldn’t help but notice a fair number of familiar gags from other contexts. Possibilities:
— Berg, like every other cartoonist, succumbed to the temptation of old, hopefully forgotten jokes.
— Berg’s friends and neighbors resorted to joke books when he pressed them for funny stories.
— The jokes actually originated in Berg’s “Lighter Side” pages back in the day.
Now just one damfool minute. When I was growing up, you know, a hundred years ago, we didn’t live in the South and there wasn’t any of this yee-haw Hee Haw hillbilly nonsense! We lived in one of those dull little towns outside Chicago, I don’t remember what it was called, I’m over a hundred for chrissakes, but I can tell you right it wasn’t in the South. Until one day about, oh, fifty years ago, when those damfool junkmen hooked the whole town up to their stupid mule and hauled it all the way down here to Hooterville or wherever the hell we’re supposed to be. Isn’t that right Sam? Hey, have you seen Newt Kiley lately?
I met Jim Scancarelli in Charlotte, at Heroes Con in the late 90s, and at the same table was Marcus Hamilton, who had just taken over the art on Dennis the Menace (but didn’t sign it yet). I offered some trivia regarding Gasoline Alley (such as, there were a couple of movies based on the strip made in the 50s), and Jim pointed to me and told Marcus, “this guy knows more about Gasoline Alley than I do.” Not really, but he was a nice guy.