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The Phantom, 2/1/24

So, big news everybody: The “Death of the Phantom” arc, which started, I swear to God, way back in 2017, is finally over, and, disappointingly, the Phantom didn’t even die! Now we’re finally on to the next storyline, and if you thought “Old Man Mozz and/or people who have heard a prophecy from Old Man Mozz keep repeating the same prophecy over and over again with slight variations” was irritating, you’ll really hate “The Phantom forces his family to listen to his rambling recounting of a dream he had last night,” which is what’s been happening for the last couple of weeks. But today we get to what hopefully is the meat of the storyline! Remember Eric Sahara, the Nomad, who was one of the Ghost Who Walks’s perennial antagonists, at least until he was captured, but before that his daughter became the Phantom’s daughter’s private school roommate and best friend and the Phantom had to rescue Mrs. The Nomad as a result? Anyway, an under-discussed aspect of the Phantom lore is that the Phantom identity is the product of a 22-generation breeding program, and we’re finally going to see how that plays out in practice (it plays out by the Phantom’s wives marrying their sons off to the daughters of prominent villains, creating a hero/villain hybrid line that can never be defeated).

Shoe, 2/1/24

Look, man, if you’re a pervert and in you’re in Wal-Mart or whatever and see a bottle of dog shampoo and all you can think about is gently massaging it into some lady’s hair and whispering to her, “You’re a good girl, such a good girl,” I support you and all, but I don’t think you should use that as material in your comic strip about bird-people. It’s just semiotically confusing. Like is she a bird or a dog or what. How can you even get turned on by this, there’s too much going on.

Six Chix, 2/1/24

Hey, you guys ever think about what would happen if the pumpkin carriage from Cinderella rotted, like a real pumpkin, and Cinderella rotted inside of it too, I guess because she’s dead? No? Just me? Just me wondering about this?