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Judge Parker, 5/3/24

Hey, guys, remember Pavel, a Russian crime boss and the first interesting new character Judge Parker introduced in years? In the old days of the strip, after threatening some ultra violence against our heroes for a few weeks, he would’ve quickly become their friends, but in the year 2024, he instead died when April’s mom suicide-bombed him. But the good news is now we can have plenty of strips where Randy and April can “just be together,” day after day of them sitting together on the couch and being their boring-ass selves, can’t wait.

Mary Worth, 5/3/24

Fellas, if you’re ever in a scenario where you’re supposed to pay for something but don’t have the money, just ostentatiously turn your pockets inside out like this! It’s a delightful bit and everyone loves it, so it’ll really cut the tension. If you can arrange for some moths to fly out, all the better, but that’s not strictly necessary.

Gasoline Alley, 5/3/24

“Really, Rufus, nobody in this strip ‘passes’! Why, you and I have been in this strip for at least fifty years and are no closer to death’s sweet release! We’re here forever. Forever!” [echoing, sinister laughter]