What happened to Ol’ Bessie, that’s the real story here
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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/20/24
Oh no! In this rustic retelling of Jack and the Beanstalk, Jughaid traded Ol’ Bessie for a handful of beans. The beanstalks grew to the sky in the traditional manner, but there were no gold coins, eggs, or magic harps on offer up there. Deprived of essential amino acids from Bessie’s milk, the Smifs will now die, and Barney Google will at last reclaim his strip.
Hi and Lois, 9/20/24
Chip Flagston, like Alexander Bumstead, is an anti-Dustin, attracting pretty girls without the slightest effort. But in a strip with 1950’s-era family structure, work environment, social mores, and frankly jokes, how does anything here really qualify as “retro”?
Beetle Bailey, 9/20/24
In an vulnerable moment, Sgt. Orville Snorkle is at last ready to let the sun shine into the black pit of shame and anguish that drove him to a half century of verbal abuse, savage beatings, and arbitrary punishment of his subordinate. Beetle is having none of it: this may not be the life he chose, but it’s the one he’s got and he’s not going to change it now. “Things are just fine, Sarge, do you hear me? Fine!
Judge Parker, 9/20/24
Ronnie, you’re the sensible, grounded one, remember? And yet here you are confiding in Neddy Spencer about a self-centered emotionally needy person who is not Neddy Spencer? Sure, you can always talk to her, but God help you trying to get her to listen.
Marvin, 9/20/24
Marvin‘s Jeff Miller gamely steps into Ed Crankshaft’s role now that Ed’s strip is off fighting 1950’s-era censorship or something. Got to admire how deftly he blends Crankshaft‘s negligent arson into Marvin‘s central theme, filth.
Just a reminder that there’s no Comment of the Week on my watch, so 2+2=7’s comment will ride up there for another week or until the math checks out, whichever comes first.
—Uncle Lumpy
3 replies to “What happened to Ol’ Bessie, that’s the real story here”
Beetle Bailey-Dear god no! Don’t tell me Sarge is breaking up with Beetle!
MW-Have you heard of the eternal sleep, Dolly?
BB: Any excuse Sarge will take to both satiate his twisted sexual desires and destroy his liver, he’ll take it.
H&L: Speaking of sexual desires, I would say that the new cheerleading uniforms are trying to quash them but it’s far more likely that most of these students have overlapping genes.
Marvin: Jeff cleans his grill at the same pace that they wipe Marvin’s ass.
MW: On one hand, it’s not like this is a surprise if we’re to believe Dr. See has the same attitude as other veterinarians where if it’s 4:59 pm and a dog comes in limping, she coldly tells them to fuck off because her “me time” is more important than a crippled Labrador.
On the other hand, with how bitchy and self absorbed Estelle’s half assed attempt at wedding planning has made her, I wouldn’t want to go to this dinner party either.
BB: I totally get Beetle’s reluctance. A weepy, soul-baring Sarge would be even more cringey than the usual version.