What happened to Ol’ Bessie, that’s the real story here
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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/20/24
Oh no! In this rustic retelling of Jack and the Beanstalk, Jughaid traded Ol’ Bessie for a handful of beans. The beanstalks grew to the sky in the traditional manner, but there were no gold coins, eggs, or magic harps on offer up there. Deprived of essential amino acids from Bessie’s milk, the Smifs will now die, and Barney Google will at last reclaim his strip.
Hi and Lois, 9/20/24
Chip Flagston, like Alexander Bumstead, is an anti-Dustin, attracting pretty girls without the slightest effort. But in a strip with 1950’s-era family structure, work environment, social mores, and frankly jokes, how does anything here really qualify as “retro”?
Beetle Bailey, 9/20/24
In an vulnerable moment, Sgt. Orville Snorkle is at last ready to let the sun shine into the black pit of shame and anguish that drove him to a half century of verbal abuse, savage beatings, and arbitrary punishment of his subordinate. Beetle is having none of it: this may not be the life he chose, but it’s the one he’s got and he’s not going to change it now. “Things are just fine, Sarge, do you hear me? Fine!
Judge Parker, 9/20/24
Ronnie, you’re the sensible, grounded one, remember? And yet here you are confiding in Neddy Spencer about a self-centered emotionally needy person who is not Neddy Spencer? Sure, you can always talk to her, but God help you trying to get her to listen.
Marvin, 9/20/24
Marvin‘s Jeff Miller gamely steps into Ed Crankshaft’s role now that Ed’s strip is off fighting 1950’s-era censorship or something. Got to admire how deftly he blends Crankshaft‘s negligent arson into Marvin‘s central theme, filth.
Just a reminder that there’s no Comment of the Week on my watch, so 2+2=7’s comment will ride up there for another week or until the math checks out, whichever comes first.
—Uncle Lumpy
135 replies to “What happened to Ol’ Bessie, that’s the real story here”
Beetle Bailey-Dear god no! Don’t tell me Sarge is breaking up with Beetle!
MW-Have you heard of the eternal sleep, Dolly?
BB: Any excuse Sarge will take to both satiate his twisted sexual desires and destroy his liver, he’ll take it.
H&L: Speaking of sexual desires, I would say that the new cheerleading uniforms are trying to quash them but it’s far more likely that most of these students have overlapping genes.
Marvin: Jeff cleans his grill at the same pace that they wipe Marvin’s ass.
MW: On one hand, it’s not like this is a surprise if we’re to believe Dr. See has the same attitude as other veterinarians where if it’s 4:59 pm and a dog comes in limping, she coldly tells them to fuck off because her “me time” is more important than a crippled Labrador.
On the other hand, with how bitchy and self absorbed Estelle’s half assed attempt at wedding planning has made her, I wouldn’t want to go to this dinner party either.
BB: I totally get Beetle’s reluctance. A weepy, soul-baring Sarge would be even more cringey than the usual version.
BB — I call BS–there’s no way that Sarge orders bottles and not drafts. He’s paying for two, don’tcha know
JP. So her relationship with Kat is exactly like her relationship with Neddy, only with Kat there is hot, off camera, girl on girl action? Explain to me again why Neddy is the good guy/protagonist here?
BG&SS:
“But I tell you, Elviney — it’s all vegetation, and no crop yield.”
“No. Don’t say it, Loweezy.”
“Yep. It don’t amount to a hill of beans!”
MW: Eshtelle’s on a collison course with wackiness! And by that I mean she’s going to crash that humongous SUV of hers when Wilbur wanders into the street during one of his ‘Wilburman’ episodes…
JP: So, you thought Neddy was going on an adventure to see the Wonderful Diane Keaton of Declan? PSYCHE!!! This storyline is actually about Neddy sitting in a diner eating plate after plate of fluffy pancakes while Ronnie whines about how horrible her off-panel marriage is! Settle in folks, we’re gonna be here a while…
Luann: Unless that ‘We’re Home’ is Gunther bringing back Bets for some more fully-clothed lying ramrod straight on Gunther’s bed, I think the Evansii forgot that ‘duh Boys’ live in the glorified garden shed in The Grayfather’s backyard.
Hope this is an ok time to slip these in. It’s a short balls week – I’ve been outta town and not surfin’ the Mudges in the office so much.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
I speak Jive
September 13th, 2024 at 9:00 am Reply
FC – Billy would do the same with Jeffy, but Jeffy would just run in circles and then poop in the yard.
Weaselboy
September 15th, 2024 at 5:49 am Reply
MW – Damn, I hope this leads to angry karoke.
Needless Exposition
September 15th, 2024 at 3:22 am Reply
MW: God, Estelle, what did you have for breakfast this morning, Carnation Instant Bitch? You only went to one venue and to one bakery before giving up and complaining that you “can’t do it alone.” Maybe you should have taken a friend with you and brought over some samples for Ed to try…oh, wait, you don’t have any friends. And judging by the way you talk to Ed, it’ll be a real ass pull for you to even have a fiancé by the end of this story.
Barbaric EncomiumsSequiturSeptember 16th, 2024 at 4:09 am Reply
The Family Circus Spanish to English.
“So here’s the deal. You let me swim in the ocean and then you save me as I’m drowning. That’s win-win, right?”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Hibbleton
September 16th, 2024 at 6:52 am Reply
CS: Les’ publicity stunt for the sequel to Lisa’s Story, Fahrenheit 2000, The Story of Lisa’s Cremation, is coming along as planned.
MKay
September 16th, 2024 at 3:06 am Reply
MW: Oh, goody! Here’s hoping Cousin Pam is a real piece of work.
jroggs
September 16th, 2024 at 3:13 am Reply
MW: “What was that fight about, anyway?”
“Oh, you know. Arguing over movies, arguing over whose music to play in the car, she borrowed one of my blouses without asking, I slept with her husband, typical back-and-forth stuff between ladies.”
“Excuse me, what did you say?”
“She borrowed my blouse without asking. You know, come to think of it, I am still a little ticked off about that.”
pugfuggly
September 16th, 2024 at 4:39 am Reply
GT With the entire town under his thumb, Gil finally realizes that he can just jail students for being bad at sports. “That was a terrible fumble, Billy: drop and give me 25 to life!”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Horace Broon
September 16th, 2024 at 10:16 am Reply
FC: I find it genuinely hard to believe Billy has e-mail (I am absolutely certain he doesn’t have a smartphone), which makes me think the intended joke might actually be “Haha, imagine a little kid thinking he has e-mail! E-mail’s for grown-ups!”
Cleveland Mocks
September 17th, 2024 at 5:35 am Reply
MW: Okay, now we see where this is going. At 4:45 on Sunday, Ed will call Estelle to tell her that he can’t make it. There’s an emergency at Generic Animal Hospital over in L.A., and he — and only he — has the skill and nerve to save the patient. In fact, responsibility for assuring the survival of the entire animal kingdom rests on his shoulders, and if you can’t handle that truth, sister, then get yourself some pencil pusher!
Myrtle
September 17th, 2024 at 5:57 am Reply
MW: From Dr. Ed’s lecherous look, he was hoping for some afternoon delights at his place before they got “dressed.” Ed, you really don’t want to see Estelle get “gussied up” – save something for marriage.
I speak Jive
September 17th, 2024 at 6:01 am Reply
Mary Worth – Even Henrietta Beak wouldn’t use the expression “gussy up.”
Liam
September 19th, 2024 at 2:23 am Reply
FC-Claire also looks like a middle aged woman.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
nescio
September 19th, 2024 at 3:12 am Reply
I may have to go out and buy a physical newspaper with Crankshaft just so I can burn it.
Little Guy
September 19th, 2024 at 4:17 am Reply
CS: You got to give Batty credit. You don’t see the spectral figure of Blessed St. Lisa protecting the store, or kicking the arsonist’s ass.
Anyone else who wants a twist to piss on strip canon: we find out the arsonist is Blessed St. Lisa, alive and cured. She’s burning books for…. reasons.
MKay
September 19th, 2024 at 3:51 am Reply
MW: NO, she can’t call another vet! Look at that zealous glow on Ed’s face. He’s gonna be a HERO!
Needless Exposition
September 19th, 2024 at 4:40 am Reply
MW: No, she can’t go to another vet because if Dr. See is to be believed, not a single one of them gives a fuck after working hours and are probably getting plastered at the bar until it’s karaoke time. Because obviously Moy needed to find a flaw and she chose one that ironically makes Ed even more sympathetic than ever and outs our “heroine” Estelle as a self centered bitch.
Hibbleton
September 19th, 2024 at 5:06 am Reply
MW: To further complicate matters, Ed’s own dog is father to the puppies.
“Oh Ed, how could you?”
jroggs
September 19th, 2024 at 5:07 am Reply
MW: “But Estelle, Mitzi Fitz is doing the splits with dilated lady bits and her owner’s throwing snits because she’s a bit of a ditz and she can’t call any other gits because her internet’s on the fritz!”
“Damn it, Ed, I’m at the end of my wits and I don’t give two shits! I’ve had enough, you and I are quits!”
“Aw, man… this is the pits.”
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. gt
September 13th, 2024 at 6:58 am Reply
GT: Fortunately for the Bobcats they were playing sandlot rules. Their qb drew his line with his foot and couldn’t be touched. Unfortunately, he is a bad passer and he was picked off.
69. Baja Gaijin
September 16th, 2024 at 7:22 pm Reply
For putting up with the Estelle and Ed show, I’m ordering Pierre a Wanko Pizza
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
Little Blue Bicycle
September 17th, 2024 at 6:50 am Reply
GT: Fweet! painted on the wall suggests that the indoor facility at juvie is a gift of the wealthy Fweet! family.
MW: Ed’s not making it to the party, is he?
@The Quiet Man: Hey, all we need is Mary getting dinged by a hubcap while on her daily constitutional and we’ve got a hat trick!
CS: Omigosh, Lillian is so brave. There’s no courage like self-awareness of plot armor, and no narrative tension like a two-year advance notice from a flash-forward that Lillian’s store specifically never gets destroyed.
RMMD: Truck hates imposing on others. It’s just not in his nature. Sure, he keeps abusing the generosity of people like Doug the Glenwood Motel manager by staying in his rooms without paying, eating hundreds of dollars worth of food and drink at Wanda’s diner every week also without paying, and having Buck cover his medical bills and provide a multitude of promotional services to reignite his stagnated career with no immediate requests for compensation. But mentioning to someone that his finger kind of hurts that day? Oh, Truck just couldn’t stand to be a burden like that.
JP: More DRAMA! where the alleged events are taking place entirely off-page and the conflict is relayed entirely with one-sided tell-don’t-show storytelling irrelevant to the current plot, to be optionally paid off in the indefinite future when Ronnie tells Neddy that her relationship with Kat has completely broken down and she’s filed for divorce, also entirely off-page. Sorry, I have a great joke about this situation, but I already told it somewhere else earlier and you kind of had to be there.
Luann: Solid effort, Les. But now Gunther’s home and he can put his quantum physics major and rugged manliness to work to actually fix this toilet. (Well, he would, but what will probably happen tomorrow is Gunther will be too busy shrieking at Les for being a fuck-up, and Bets will wander into frame on the last panel saying she fixed the toilet.)
MW: What does Estelle stand to gain from lying about Ed’s absence? Everything. No one’s social standing could survive the blow of the discovery that their significant other is a busy veterinarian.
DT: Two years ago, Dick and Thorin (Moon Governor) had a chat about what Thorin was going to do with Ro-Zan, who had killed Marina and tried to kill Thorin and his family as a precursor to his plan to kill everyone on Earth. Dick recalled the case of the Hy Jacky (a suspect for murder who did no hijacking), where – I’m just going to quote directly from Hy Jacky’s page on the Dick Tracy wiki here – “the Moon Governor threatened to subject Hy Jacky to moon justice (meaning execution without trial).” Thorin affirmed that he had similar intentions for Ro-Zan, grimly declaring, “There is zero tolerance for crime in New Moon Valley.” So you’d think this would mean that Ro-Zan would have been swinging by noon tomorrow with his head on a pike by supper, or at the very least put in some kind of sci fi solitary confinement for life and sent into exile from which he could never possibly return.
Well, now Ro-Zan is on Earth and Thorin knows about it, but his attitude is less “Oh God, Napoleon has escaped Elba and is raising a new army!” and more “I’m sorry my dog got out the front door and took a dump on your lawn.” Clearly moon justice has gotten soft recently, as Ro-Zan’s zero tolerance punishment was neither lasting nor impactful and it’s even slightly implied that he was deliberately released from imprisonment. Thorin is barely even concerned about what Ro-Zan is up to, treating his disappearance as merely an irritating inconvenience of no real urgency.
(On an increasingly unrelated note, I am completely lost about the notion that Ro-Zan is somehow supposed to be real-Lunarian Thorin’s brother and fake-Lunarian Mysta’s uncle. The latter revelation appears to be something Mike Curtis pulled completely out of his ass without thinking and he now very badly wants to pretend that didn’t happen, which might explain the missing conversation between Mysta and the Tracy family about her pre-mutation past as Glenna Ermine. It seems the Dicklovers also don’t know what to make of Ro-Zan either, as they have wiki pages for countless interchangeable one-off bad guys in the series but still no entry for this recurring world-threatening villain.)
Anyway, it’s time for Ro-Zan to answer for his naughtiness, so Diet tells Mysta to bring him up to his office. “Glady!” Mysta replies, nervously misspeaking as she runs off to find Gladys, who will push her Life Alert button and bludgeon Ro-Zan with her purse until first responders arrive to help overpower the literal lunatic and restrain him on a gurney for ease of transport back to Moonville.
MW: Turns out, it was Pam’s dog giving premature birth. “She’s done it to me again! (sob)”
Is there a petition or grassroots movement to change this blog to Uncle Lumpy Reads? Sign me up.
BGSS: Appropriately enough, hill giants live at the top of those beanstalks.
HnL: She had a sudden growth spurt between panels 1 and 2.
BB: Beetle’s right. The more intoxicated Sarge gets, the more likely the beatings will be severe to life-threatening.
JP: “Sorry. What’s that? I was just thinking about my dead parents.”
Marvin: And then the Pulitzer goes to Marvin, and Batiuk pulls his hair out…
As always, thanks very much, Scratchy!
Unlike that selfish pig Ed Harding, you’re never too busy for us!
Frazz: “I saw some nonsense in a book, and now I’m going to just babble incoherently about it.”
Luann: Hilarity enspews.
CS: Even when the inevitable law suits pile up because her bookstore is a deathtrap, Lillian will not close it.
MW: Estelle is supposed to look ridiculous here, right? I’d say that’s the case, but I can never really tell with Karen Moy.
FC: “Shut up, Dolly! That’s how many sleeps you have!”
Zits: I’m waiting for a politician to come by and clean my house. I’d probably vote for that person (and not investigate their views too closely).
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith: Ho ho ho Green Giant [Loweezy and Elsie(? Elsie) are squashed by an enormous green foot. The camera lingers on the shot for some seconds until an unidentified limb twitches]
MW: Fuck off, Estelle.
Beetle Bailey: Lo, how the mighty have fallen…into drinking Coors Banquet from a stubby bottle? Pete’s probably got 36 craft beers and ciders on tap, for goshsake! And you call yourself an alcoholic…
DtM: Ironically, the more edibles Alice takes, the less edible is her chicken.
Hi and Lois – Don’t underestimate the Happy Days fetish crowd. This is paydirt for a lot of people. I’m personally not a fan of the short/tight cheerleader look during the school day. Save it for the sidelines, or the bedroom.
CS: “Shaken, not stirred.” Ha ha, that’s funny! It makes no sense, but it’s funny. Okay, it’s not funny at all. It’s just stupid. Like everything else in this strip.
MW: At 5:30, a snockered Pam slurs loudly, “Hey, Eshtelle, so where’s your *air quotes* fiance? Let me guessh, his *air quotes* emergency is trying to coax a cat out of a tree! No, wait, he’s putting flea powder on a dog! No, wait, he’s trying to avoid you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha . . .”
Frazz: Well if it’s an a-hole you want to become, you’re doing a fine job of it.
The creepiest fathers are going to show up at the next board meeting for Chip’s school complaining about how it’s gone “woke” now.
H&L: Who is this unrelated cheerleader Chip is attracting? The face shape, freckles, and non-brunette hair color is worrisome.
BG&SS: I hope there are beans on this garden-variety stalk, and it’s not just a ladder for giants. Otherwise they’d have given away the cow for naught.
I swear to G-d that that redhead has canonically been Chip’s girlfriend for years. I can only think that the strip refuses to name her because it would send their readership into cardiac arrest to learn that girls these days are named things like Ryleigighgheigh instead of like Jane.
JP: So Kat is putting her own needs above those of you as a couple, Ronnie? But how can that be? I thought Kat was supposed to be an actress, not a veterinarian!
Hi and Lois-“Our parents who grew up with skimpy cheerleader outfits have suddenly become pruddish.”
Thanks, Scratchy!
Snuffy Smith: The Triffids have come for Hootin’ Holler and there will be no survivors.
Beetle Bailey: I’m actually legit shocked that the censorship for newspaper comics let Sarge and Beetle drink actual, honest-to-God beer. Given the usual standards, you’d get the two getting drunk off soda or something.
Andertoons – It’s easy to confuse “adjectives” with “Frazz.”
Crankshaft – The fire inspector has the final say on that, you loathsome hag. Although inspectors have ignored handicap access, candles burning, and other safety issues, so who knows.
I can imagine Batiuk while he’s doing his it’s called writing of this dreck. “I know! Lillian will look determined and inappropriately quote James Bond, while Pam smirks approvingly. That Pulitzer is MINE!”
Have I mentioned that Lillian is a loathsome hag?
Mary Worth – Just tell them that Ed had an emergency and might not make it. Oh, what a tangled web we weave.
Mary checks to make sure that’s included in her Big Book O’ Platitudes.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
Thanks, Scratchy.
“We went with a retro look this year. Also, we changed all our cheers into Welsh to go with the big ‘W’ we have to wear. Mynd tîm mynd! Cael y nod hwnnw! Lladd y chwarter yn ôl!“
@jroggs:
Haha, “literal lunatic” FTW!
BB: “Don’t ask, don’t tell” has been repealed and dammit, Sarge is going to do both.
H&L: Frankly the new outfits are still too daring. Showing off your calves like that, you hussy.
JP: Ronnie, you were roommates with Neddy for years and then you went and married a self-absorbed white girl just like her. Either you need to confess your feelings for Neddy or see a therapist about your self-martyrdom tendencies.
Thanks for the mention
HangingBasketsScratchy!Fred Basset Spanish to English.
Crank: The Loathsome One’s first customer of the day who somehow makes his way to the back street in the residential section where the Village Booksmith stands is injured badly when he crashes through the fire-damaged wooden staircase.
Phantom: ”Initiate self-destruct….massive explosive charge: ENGAGED”
FG: Panel One: Poor King Barin, punching the baddies as hard as he can, is completely ignored. Panel Two: “Okay, I subdued Gordon. Now we are free to stroll away. Just ignore punchin’ Barin and Aura with her pop’s magic sword.” Panel Four: Dale Arden, perpetual hostage.
“No, no, Estelle—I’m an ex-military neo-Nazi. What part of veteran Aryan didn’t you understand?”
Thanks, Scratchy!
Yay Scroties! Shadow float later!
@Little Guy, Luann: Okay, so it was the toilet itself clogged. Probably needing the chemical equivalent of a snake.
This is your “lazy people with no ambition BAD (and YouTube How-Tos SUCK)!”, Evansii?
BCN: Objection! “Halloween” properly translates as “Noche de Todos los Santos” (All Saint’s Night) or “Noche de Brujas” (Witches’ Night). “Dia de los Muertos” is a different deal entirely, for all that it has a similar aesthetic and marketing season.
C’shaft: Fire Marshall: “Actually, ma’am, this incident has revealed several violations of zoning ordinances, fire codes, disability access, tax codes…suffice it to say you’re going to be closed for a very, very long time.”
As with the Gay Prom Debacle, Batiuk doesn’t have anything insightful, important, or original to say about the subject, just “this bad thing is bad, and I deserve credit for pointing out its badness.” And yet he can’t quite figure out why that Pulitzer remains enticingly out of reach.
DT: Wait, you KNEW Ro-Zan was here under false pretenses from the beginning and you’ve just been letting him run around fomenting civil war? I think someone WANTS a big Lunarian-Earthling dust-up so he can get some of that sweet government contract money.
Dustin: Please, Dustdad, you’re never too old to have a fragile, easily-manipulated ego.
GT: So, that was Gil’s big plan: remind everyone that Tobias and Rod were convicted felons and have connections on the inside so they’ll be too scared to pick fights. Hey, whatever costs him the minimum amount of effort.
Luann: So there was a minor household problem, and rather than ignoring it Les made an attempt to learn about and solve it on his own, and the fact that he was not immediately successful means he’s a good-for-nothing loser who deserves to be laughed at. Got it.
MW: Yeah, that’s the thing about emergencies, they always come up at predictable and convenient times and should never take priority over established plans.
Pluggers should really seek treatment for their hoarding disorder.
RMMD: “In fact it sounds stupid and contrived, as if plotted by the clumsy hand of a hack writer.”
Don Abundio, translated:
“How about a good-night kiss?”
“My father warned me not to let you get fresh”
“You should always respect your elders! Good night!”
“But… Do you realize I must be at least 5 years older than him?”
@TheDiva: (on Luann) This is subpar sitcom stuff. I don’t think I’ve seen an episode of Full House with messaging this hammy.
love is… thinking of her and having things wilt.
Back in the Day: Bob Tice, are you paying attention?
Thanks, Scratchy!
@TheDiva:
Diet Smith turned into King Durin III so quickly!
Fred Basset kicking turds.
Nancy Classics: It’s slap a sappy Sluggo day!
Say this five times quickly without hissing.
MW: We are really turning Stelle into a hateful person here (you can see it by how hard she’s clenching her jaw in the last panel), and the only reason I can think of that this is happening is so we all start despising her and wishing for her to be with Wilbur because that’s what fate she deserves.
@Sequitur: Slapping faces is a bit out of character for Spike. He’s more of a “bone-crunching punch to the nose” kind of guy.
Humphrey Bogart does smack Peter Lorre in The Maltese Falcon, (“When you’re slapped you’ll take it and like it”) but I think the subtext there is that open-face slaps are the appropriate way for the Sam Spades of the world to handle perfumed-handkerchief fancy boys like Mr. Joel Cairo.
@Woshkod: I was reading about Where’s Waldo recently. And how he called Wally in the U.K.
And how his arch-enemy is his name spelled backwards “Odlaw” but the name Odlaw was kept in the U.K versions despite shouldn’t it be Yllaw in those?
The article said, probably because Yllaw is unpronounceable (unless maybe if one is Welsh)
@57 Ukulele Ike:
His goilfriend probably asked him to do it.
JP: I certainly don’t mind Ronnie getting air time. She has more than earned it. It’s just that the current storyline portrays Neddy as a black hole of stupidity who is determined to violate one of the most basic DEAR ABBY precepts. I don’t want to watch Ronnie having a stupidity meltdown as well.
@LTJpezcore1: yeah. Estelle is slipping down into the suitable for Wilbur category.
@60 Poteet:
I think “A Black Hole of Stupidity” would make a great title for a Harry Bosch novel.
Pluggers: But that’s what exercise equipment is for! Oh, wait, Pluggers never bought any exercise equipment. Never mind.
@Sequitur:
Where the Viet Cong are advancing toward him in the narrow tunnels, feet first.
MW: My biggest current question re this story will probably remain unaddressed by Karen and June, and that question is why Mrs. Fitz, who doesn’t sound like a professional breeder, didn’t spay her poodle Mitzi and prevent her from getting pregnant. Maybe the spay-and-neuter situation is very different for dogs than for cats, I dunno.
@64 Uncle Lumpy:
And that Viet Cong diet they all eat make them fart.
@Sequitur: @Uncle Lumpy: Bwahahahaha!
@The Rambling Otter: Waldo had an arch-enemy? Those ‘books’ had a plot?
MW-“I’ll just tell everyone that Ed is a drunk. A great big luscious drunk.”
HI AND LOIS: When I was in high school, girls were expected to wear nylons, yuck. I would happily have opted for those comfortable retro socks.
@LTJpezcore1: In regards to Wilbur being loveless and repugnant, I think of Moy as Principal Skinner in that classic meme:
“Is my writing so bad that my heroes are unsympathetic sociopaths who deserve to die alone?”
“No, it’s the readers who are wrong.”
@70 Poteet:
Maybe their retro socks only go back to the 1980’s.
Marvin — I’m in the Jeff Miller/Al Bundy camp of grill maintenance: “Yesterday’s ashes for today’s burgers!”. Incidentally, Ed Crankshaft probably regularly cleans his grill with something flammable and cancer-causing.
@jroggs: re Luann: THIS!
@Hibbleton: Estelle: “That…bitch!”
Luann: In which we see Les giving a toilet a, uh, job. But it isn’t effective at all. Womp womp. Is Gunther going to throw one of his temper tantrums? “Look what you did! We’ll get evicted!” I just love to see him scrunch up his piggy little face and yell at people.
Hi and Lois: Chip is aghast to learn that he’ll no longer get to see bare cheerleader midriff, and will now have to depend on his 7,000 other sexual fantasies about his schoolmates.
Pluggers: Do they really want us to believe that this female kangaroo is a hoarder? That empty pouch is right there!
Mary Worth: “I can’t believe Ed chose to treat an emergency right now. He should have just sent them away to the animal hospital in the next town — nothing bad could ever come of that!”
@Voshkod: Not exactly, Odlaw was created for the animated series in the 90’s and he immigrated to the books later on.
@Voshkod: Also, in the cartoon Odlaw was a one-sided arch-enemy. He saw himself as a rival to Waldo and wanted to steal Waldo’s magic walking stick.
Waldo literally had no idea Odlaw even existed as Odlaw tended to foil his own plans before he got to Waldo, or would get foiled by someone else, regardless Waldo never even encounters him.
MW: Why is Estelle not able to put a positive spin on this?
“Everyone, I’m SO sorry that my fiancé, a prominent and well-to-do veterinarian – just look at this ring! – is going to be unavoidably delayed! Yes, he had to selflessly rush in to save the life of one of his patients! He does such important and heroic work EVERY DAY, even Sundays! He is so DEDICATED to his calling as a healer and saver-of-lives! I have to be the luckiest woman on earth to be able to share in his Good Work!”
They would be naming Ed “Man of the Year”
@Poteet: JP: I certainly don’t mind Ronnie getting air time. She has more than earned it. It’s just that the current storyline portrays Neddy as a black hole of stupidity who is determined to violate one of the most basic DEAR ABBY precepts. I don’t want to watch Ronnie having a stupidity meltdown as well.
I liked Ronnie a lot better before it became obvious (years ago) that every ounce of sense she would display under normal circumstances, completely evaporated the second the “plot” required it. At least Neddy is consistently airheaded.
Congrats to my fellow scratchies! Broon Croons to Needless Exposition and jroggs!
Curtis: Boy, I can’t wait for the strip to completely ignore that if Mrs Nelson believes random tattling without a shred of proof when Curtis clearly isn’t texting, that kind of reflects badly on her as a teacher.
HtH: I’m not sure Helga’s cost-analysis is sound here. For one thing, I don’t think she’s considering that, if you’re already raiding a castle to steal a bed, grabbing a chest of gold coins while you’re there doesn’t increase your overheads and solves your payroll issues. More to the point, chests of gold coins seized on castle raids are Hägar’s primary source of income, so getting money to pay for a bed requires exactly the same expenditure while cutting into the profits!
MW: As I’ve said before, I honestly can’t tell whose side we’re meant to be on here; I suspect Estelle’s, if only because I’m kind of on Dr Ed’s (when I’m not just “Look, they’re both idiots”), and that’s usually a sign that Moy wants the opposite, but surely even Moy can’t have actually written “it’s so inconvenient that Ed decided to respond to an emergency” and thought it made Stell sound sympathetic. Surely.
@The Rambling Otter: Did it explain why Wal’s name got changed? I’ve always wondered, and the Wikipedia page doesn’t say.
(If it was the other way round, I’d assume it was because “wally” can be used as a very mild insult — something close to “doofus” — in the UK.)
@Arabella: MW: Why is Estelle not able to put a positive spin on this?
What I don’t understand is why this only became a problem after they were engaged?
If Ed started back in with this behavior after she said yes that’s a problem on his part that he needs to address. If this is how Ed has been behaving all along and it only bothers Estelle now that she said yes, that’s a problem on her part that she needs to address.
@Arabella: Good speech, but I propose that Estelle just call Ed “doctor.” I want to see Cousin Pam’s head implode.
Curtis: “I thought this only happened at home with Barry!”
@T.H. Steady: re MW: “…why this only became a problem after they were engaged.”
I think we’re *supposed* to believe that Estelle has become irrational and possessive after the engagement, that she resents Ed not putting her first now that they are “in love.” Ed has always been, you might say, married to his work. Being a vet is the most important thing in his life and has been all along in his history here. Whatever happened to that assistant who was hired after Nephew Stephen burned out? This is basically the same work-life balance plot as we had a couple of years ago, with the stakes raised because of the engagement.
Springboard Shadow CsOTW
Uncle Lumpy
September 15th, 2024 at 6:45 am Reply
@TheDiva: Mutts: Why is Jane Goodall being featured in today’s comic? It’s not her birthday, and she hasn’t yet shuffled off this mortal coil…did the dog that was supposed to appear in today’s Shelter Stories get euthanized?
——————————————————
Yeah, Dr. Ed’s on a roll.
GarrisonSkunk
September 17th, 2024 at 11:16 am Reply
@Liam: Family Circus: Tonight Sam will be feasting on Jeffy.
——————————————————
Just knock him into the microwave and push the on button with your nose, Sam, and before you know it, you’ll have a nostalgic bowl of fresh Jeffy-Pop™! straight from your puppyhood!
GarrisonSkunk
September 17th, 2024 at 2:47 pm Reply
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Mary Worth: Duly noted that Dr. Ed wears a carnation pink suit rather than a purple one.
——————————————————
Miss Duly, being the Charterstone Players answer to Edith Head, who disapproves of Dr Ed wearing his “VICE!: THE MIAMI VICE MUSICAL” wardrobe out of the theatre.
2+2=7
September 19th, 2024 at 6:02 am Reply
@jroggs: Luann: Typical foolish Les. Googling how to diagnose and fix a running commode inevitably results in wacky advice involving garden hoses, safety goggles, and two-liters of Diet Coke, while people who go to college learn the right way when they take the mandatory freshman Toilet Troubleshooting 101 class. Well, mostcollege students take it. I got kicked out on the first day because I kept giggling at the word “ballcock.”
——————————————————
Unfortunately when Gunther comes back, it’ll turns out he only took Toilet Troubleshooting Theory at Moony U., and doesn’t know how to fix the commode either. (But if you need someone to write a 35-page essay on the ethics of toilet paper placement then…well Gunther wouldn’t help there either because all the characters in this universe are whopping morons.)
.
.
.
Special Long-form Shadow CsOTW
jroggs
September 16th, 2024 at 3:13 am Reply
Mary Worth: “What was that fight about, anyway?”
“Oh, you know. Arguing over movies, arguing over whose music to play in the car, she borrowed one of my blouses without asking, I slept with her husband, typical back-and-forth stuff between ladies.”
“Excuse me, what did you say?”
“She borrowed my blouse without asking. You know, come to think of it, I am still a little ticked off about that.”
Needless Exposition
September 17th, 2024 at 4:34 am Reply
Mary Worth: You just know Mary’s been waiting with bated breath for Estelle to come back to Charterstone for her weekly indoctrination sessions and to once again tell her to go back to Wilbur. “Unclean hussy,” she hisses, readying her oven with the smell of brimstone lingering in the air. “She’s going to get such a meddling when she returns.”
Meanwhile Dr. Ed hopes that m Rs. Willoughby’s helper monkey gets Ebola so he can get an out from this upcoming dinner…
Government Cheese
September 17th, 2024 at 4:59 pm Reply
Mary Worth: Stell needs to “gussy up” with the following contemporary items based on her vernacular:
-Hoopskirt
-Bloomers
-Parasol
-cholera medication
-smelling salts
-old time “coca” cola
Voshkod
September 17th, 2024 at 6:45 am Reply
Crankshaft: “The sirens are scaring people.”
“What if we made the fire engine purr loudly?”
“Won’t that annoy the fire Dalmatian?”
“Nah, he’s deaf!”
Fin
Shadow COTW Contenders, Part 1
made of wince
September 14th, 2024 at 8:35 am Reply
Luann: Meanwhile, Gunther doesn’t have to work. I don’t think he will ever have to pay back student loans, either. Do you realize how many students his age have jobs AND crippling video game addictions? I dare the Evansesesez to write about crippling video game addictions.
Guillermo el chiclero
September 14th, 2024 at 9:29 am Reply
Phantom: Watch out, Stripeybutt. If Avarice has acquired the abilities of a monkey he’ll soon be bombarding you with cyberpoo.
jroggs
September 15th, 2024 at 2:53 am Reply
Family Circus: Oh man, when God’s dad gets home, He is going to be in so much trouble. This electricity bill is coming out of your allowance, young eternal entity!
Bob Tice
September 15th, 2024 at 3:04 am Reply
World of Animals: He’s normally pretty shy, so I’m glad that Turtle Carl came out of his shell to narrate today’s installment.
Needless Exposition
September 15th, 2024 at 3:32 am Reply
Mary Worth: Also a rare sight in Santa Royale is a non-WASP couple judging by the way Estelle is gawking at them like a zoo exhibit while berating her overworked fiancé…just in case you need to mark that on your “Estelle is a Bitch” Bingo card.
Cleveland Mocks
September 15th, 2024 at 4:43 am Reply
Mary Worth: Their wedding day will be the happiest day of Ed’s life because he won’t have to deal with this crap any more.
The Rambling Otter
September 15th, 2024 at 4:46 am Reply
Mark Trail: “Don’t take stray cats to a shelter… take them to either a crazy cat lady or take care of them yourself you lazy bum! Who do you think works at shelters? Professionals who are trained at taking care of animals? Pfffft…”
Hibbleton
September 15th, 2024 at 4:56 am Reply
Dennis the Menace: Today’s strip furthers the narrative by explaining why none of the Wilson kids survived childhood.
Scratchy Scrotum LXIX
September 15th, 2024 at 6:02 am Reply
Mary Worth: Paul Simon had 50 ways to leave your lover. Moy needs only seven panels.
The Breathtaking Bonehead Brothers
September 15th, 2024 at 10:27 am Reply
Slylock Fox: Easy. The real Max is shouting “save me, Slylock!” while the decoys are all saying “who are you, strange fox?”
Artist formerly known as Ben
September 15th, 2024 at 4:12 pm Reply
Slylock Fox: This frog can do vintage Dylan songs but never had the same breaks as Kermit. It’s who you know.
Anonymous
September 16th, 2024 at 5:00 am Reply
Flash Gordon: There are times where “SUDDENLY, NINJAS” is a welcome, appropriate plot twist. This is one of those times.
Tonio
September 16th, 2024 at 5:08 am Reply
Sally Forth: Wait until Ted reaches the next page of the script and sees a Stephen King joke.
Cleveland Mocks
September 16th, 2024 at 5:09 am Reply
Mary Worth: Uh-oh! Estelle made major plans without checking with Ed, and now Ed has look up from his laptop to tell her he can’t make it because he’s working that evening as a favor to Dr. See, who asked him to cover her night shift at the Animal Emergency Room. Estelle is going to be so pissed she’ll throw all 10 of her different cake samples in his face.
taig
September 16th, 2024 at 5:41 am Reply
On the Fast Track: What an unusual way to play Battleship.
Everything Is Better With Monkeys
September 16th, 2024 at 6:22 am Reply
Six Chix: I finally understand Zen. It’s the art of being a passive aggressive jerk, clearly.
Liam
September 16th, 2024 at 9:56 am Reply
Crankshaft: Harry Dinklage will do anything to make sure “Lisa’s Story” doesn’t outsell his autobiography.
GarrisonSkunk
September 16th, 2024 at 12:19 pm Reply
Sally Forth: 70’s stereotype of a Native American, holding up a copy of today’s Sally Forth: “You call it funny, but we call it crap.”
Lord Flatulence
September 17th, 2024 at 2:51 am Reply
Crankshaft: The Emergency Pulitzer Crew is on the way!
MKay
September 17th, 2024 at 4:05 am Reply
Mary Worth: Because there’s no such thing as a pointless conversation in “Mary Worth,” what drama are we setting up, here? Will Ed be MIA when Estelle comes to pick him up? Will Estelle’s gussy not be as UP as she needs it to be? Bated breath, y’all!
taig
September 17th, 2024 at 5:42 am Reply
Six Chix: Yuck. Can we go back to having relations with sandwiches, please?
I speak Jive
September 17th, 2024 at 6:01 am Reply
Mary Worth: Even Henrietta Beak wouldn’t use the expression “gussy up.”
taig
September 17th, 2024 at 6:08 am Reply
Mary Worth: Estelle should instead work to gassy up. It would be more entertaining at Pam’s dinner.
Little Blue Bicycle
September 17th, 2024 at 6:50 am Reply
Gil Thorp: Fweet! painted on the wall suggests that the indoor facility at juvie is a gift of the wealthy Fweet! family.
TheDiva
September 17th, 2024 at 7:05 am Reply
Judge Parker: “Honestly I would have cut you off years ago, but my “crazywhitegirlstories” TIkTok just hit a hundred thousand followers, so…”
Shadow COTW Contenders, Part 2
McCapwell
September 18th, 2024 at 2:21 am Reply
Gee, Mark, I’m glad that ol’ Nature Boy knows that lions prefer frozen meat over the fresh, never frozen variety.
MKay
September 18th, 2024 at 3:10 am Reply
Beetle Bailey: Halftrack is moments from wishing he’d invoked the No Waxing at Work rule.
But What Do I Know?
September 18th, 2024 at 4:47 am Reply
Beetle Bailey: The last few days have shown that you can do pretty much anything at your desk in Camp Swampy–except work, from the looks of it.
Tabby Lavalamp
September 18th, 2024 at 5:47 am Reply
Arctic Circle: I think this is the third time now I’ll be bringing up cloacae in the comments, a part of bird anatomy I never talk about anywhere else because it turns out comics make me think about goddamned bird sex more than any other piece of media. Even worse, this time one has got me wondering about how a penguin and a phone would fornicate.
2+2=7
September 18th, 2024 at 6:20 am Reply
Rex Morgan: This is (but one of) the thing(s) that doesn’t make sense in this story: Why would Truck not be able to tell Wanda this info even on an “emotional” level? What did he expect her to say?
Wanda: “Truck, that finger was the only part of you that gave me pleasure! And now that it can’t even do that, we’re through! At least my *batteries* won’t eat me out of house and home.”
TheDiva
September 18th, 2024 at 7:17 am Reply
Rex Morgan: “You’re right, honey. I’ll just tell the eight-year-old looking up at me with tears in her eyes that I can’t help little Bandit after he was hit by a car because a woman I’ve never met before is throwing a party. You know what, I’ll put her on the line and let you tell her.”
Scratchy Scrotum LXIX
September 19th, 2024 at 5:07 amReply
Judge Parker: I like to think I’m a typical Mudge. I got introduced to this fine site about eight years ago, so that’s about how long I’ve been reading Judge Parker. Yet I still never have a clue about what’s going on. Does that make me a typical Mudge?
Cleveland Mocks
September 19th, 2024 at 6:34 am Reply
Rex Morgan: “You know what else, Wanda? We need to get YOU to a hairdresser. Good God, that beehive is hideous.”
Lauralot
September 19th, 2024 at 7:23 am Reply
Mary Worth: Not to be insensitive, but what do you even do for premature puppies? Is there an animal NICU?
Hibbleton
September 20th, 2024 at 4:59 am Reply
Mary Worth: Turns out, it was Pam’s dog giving premature birth. “She’s done it to me again! (sob)”
Hibbleton
September 20th, 2024 at 5:31 am Reply
Dennis the Menace: Ironically, the more edibles Alice takes, the less edible is her chicken.
Cleveland Mocks
September 20th, 2024 at 5:36 am Reply
Mary Worth: At 5:30, a snockered Pam slurs loudly, “Hey, Eshtelle, so where’s your *air quotes* fiance? Let me guessh, his *air quotes* emergency is trying to coax a cat out of a tree! No, wait, he’s putting flea powder on a dog! No, wait, he’s trying to avoid you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha . . .”
I speak Jive
September 20th, 2024 at 6:29 am Reply
Andertoons: It’s easy to confuse “adjectives” with “Frazz.”
TheDiva
September 20th, 2024 at 6:59 am Reply
Hi and Lois: Frankly the new outfits are still too daring. Showing off your calves like that, you hussy.
Daily Shadow CsOTW
Saturday
————
But What Do I Know?
September 14th, 2024 at 4:15 am Reply
Rex Morgan: “Go see a doctor when you’re hurt” is a pearl of wisdom right up there with “Don’t read Luann,” “Les is an insufferable poseur,” and “Don’t paint Garfield when you’re supposed to be painting Heathcliff.” Or do roots-country practitioners normally display a deep vein of subtle sarcasm?
TheDiva
September 14th, 2024 at 8:28 am Reply
Judge Parker: No, Ronnie, the correct response is “Well, you should have thought about that before you made the obviously stupid move of trying to reconcile your fiance with his estranged family behind his back. I may be a lesbian but I am NOT lying down with you in this bed you made.”
Sunday
———-
Liam
September 15th, 2024 at 2:11 am Reply
Slylock Fox: Slylock let the real Max plummet and took one of the robot decoys. “Maybe one of these will be more loyal,” Slylock thinks to himself.
taig
September 15th, 2024 at 5:15 am Reply
Welcome back, Turtle Carl! It must be nice to know you can move faster than a Rex Morgan M.D. plot.
Monday
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nescio
September 16th, 2024 at 3:25 am Reply
Phantom: Coming this fall: “Phantom vs Predator: the Battle for Bengala.” The Hollywood Reporter says “Wait, are we supposed to know who that is?”
Leonard
September 16th, 2024 at 5:51 am Reply
Judge Parker: Neddy is seriously the dumbest character in all of comics past and present. And this is a reality where Bernice and Luann exist.
Tuesday
———–
nescio
September 17th, 2024 at 4:48 am Reply
Six Chix: When your pallor is completely grey and fluids are leaking out of your orifices, you should probably seek the help of a doctor, not childhood nostalgia.
Peanut Gallery
September 17th, 2024 at 6:31 am Reply
Today’s Six Chix is a cautionary tale about overindulging in childhood nostalgia. If you eat too many bowls of Lucky Charms, you’ll end up with marshmallow clovers for eyes!
Wednesday
—————
Hibbleton
September 18th, 2024 at 5:20 am Reply
Mary Worth: The Doc’s aversion to an animal themed wedding becomes clearer for Estelle when Doc Ed’s family fills her in on his disastrous Island of Dr Moreau themed Bah Mitzvah.
Little Blue Bicycle
September 18th, 2024 at 7:09 am Reply
Mary Worth: “I don’t care, let the beloved pet die! I’m having a party with estranged Cousin Pam! Euthanize it!!!l
Thursday
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jroggs
September 19th, 2024 at 5:07 amReply
Mary Worth: “But Estelle, Mitzi Fitz is doing the splits with dilated lady bits and her owner’s throwing snits because she’s a bit of a ditz and she can’t call any other gits because her internet’s on the fritz!”
“Damn it, Ed, I’m at the end of my wits and I don’t give two shits! I’ve had enough, you and I are quits!”
“Aw, man… this is the pits.”
Horace Broon
September 19th, 2024 at 11:17 am Reply
Judge Parker: Ronnie very nearly takes a bite of pancake, then gets distracted. I’m starting to think we’ll never learn if they’re the fluffiest or not.
Friday
——–
Liam
September 20th, 2024 at 2:46 am Reply
Beetle Bailey: Dear god no! Don’t tell me Sarge is breaking up with Beetle!
made of wince
September 20th, 2024 at 10:33 amReply
Luann: In which we see Les giving a toilet a, uh, job. But it isn’t effective at all. Womp womp. Is Gunther going to throw one of his temper tantrums? “Look what you did! We’ll get evicted!” I just love to see him scrunch up his piggy little face and yell at people.
.
.
.
Shadow COTW
——————
nescio
September 19th, 2024 at 3:12 am Reply
Crankshaft: I may have to go out and buy a physical newspaper with Crankshaft just so I can burn it.
@Arabella: I think we’re *supposed* to believe that Estelle has become irrational and possessive after the engagement, that she resents Ed not putting her first now that they are “in love.” Ed has always been, you might say, married to his work. Being a vet is the most important thing in his life and has been all along in his history here. Whatever happened to that assistant who was hired after Nephew Stephen burned out? This is basically the same work-life balance plot as we had a couple of years ago, with the stakes raised because of the engagement.
I don’t know. The story sure seems to be that Estelle is reacting sort of normally to a fiance who keeps blowing her off for work
Thanks very much, Baja, and congrats to nescio for casting the largest shadow.
One thing that bothers me about the current Mary Worth story is that dogs have been giving birth unassisted for millennia. Why, suddenly, does this dog need a vet to make a house call and hold its paw?
Congrats on the SCotW, nescio!
Thanks for the mentions, Baja!
@Poteet: I wore nylons in high school, too, and it was in Stone Age days before pantyhose were invented. Those garter belts were extremely uncomfortable.
@Sequitur: That was my thought, too. Maybe the owner and Ed are concerned about the premature puppies
Thanks, Scratchy and Baja!
@I speak Jive:
Hey, pantyhose are pretty gross, too.
Um, I’m told.
Many thanks to Scratchy and Baja for the mentions (and a bonus heart shaped cookie for Horace Broon)! I’m out of town doing some bulldog babysitting for the weekend so everyone gets a slobbery kiss from Shelby in spirit.
@Uncle Lumpy: Don’t worry, Lumpy, you’ve got the gams to pull it off.
@Sequitur @I speak Jive: The only premature dogs one should worry about are the undercooked hot dogs at the church social.
@Needless Exposition:
Thank you! I’ve been told I’m the Edda Burber of comics mockery. Sounds like a compliment, anyway.
In Judge Parker I like how the first panel _almost_ looks like they’ve just taken the character model on the left, flipped it over, and covered it with an orange filter.
@Uncle Lumpy: Remind me that I never want to see your teeth.
@jroggs: #15: re- Luann: I’m inclined to wager money that your prediction will come true. The first two panels of Gunther throwing a hissy fit at Les, and the third panel of Bets fixing the toilet off panel. I believe the standard Curmudgeon crypto currency are still Triskellian Quatloos.
Thanks, Baja.
@But What Do I Know?: Beetle avoids the drafts.
Thanks, Baja!
@The Rambling Otter: If it was “y llaw” it would be quite pronounceable: it’s Welsh for “the hand”, which is almost a good name for a villain; it just needs an adjective.
“ll” is used as a single letter in the Welsh alphabet; it’s an unusual sound (a “voiceless alvelor lateral fricative”, I believe) which does not occur in many languages – there’s certainly no equivalent sound in English.
CS: Even with a rapid response by the fire department those stairs and that bottom corner should be thoroughly charred. Batiuk’s treating it like it’s nothing a good pressure washing won’t fix. Crankshaft probably has a pressure washer amongst his arsenal of power tools. Hilarity ensues as Ed blasts those rickety stairs into the next county.
Crankshaft: Several neighbors overhear Lillian’s “quip” and all spontaneously and independently all decide to try their hand at arson just for having to hear that “shaken not stirred” bit.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Non apropos to nothing… I wonder if a pressure washed loaded with Tide and gasoline would work as a flamethrower.
@The Rambling Otter: Thank god I was in a state of suspended animation for the 90s.
LUANN: “Ugh! I just spent the evening sucking on an absolutely disgusting tube!” Les proclaimed.
“Oh man! I feel you, buddy!” Bets concurred, while search the medicine cabinets for the mouthwash….
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith – The only thing productive in Hootin’ Holler is its surprisingly fertile soil. Perhaps it’s secretly the Appalachian Wakanda, a place that puts up a false front of abject poverty to hide it’s rich resources from the exploitative powers of big business and the government?
Hi and Lois – Unfortunately Hi and Lois’ otherwise politically moderate suburb has had its school board taken over by well-funded election campaign run by social conservatives. The process is already started, with more modest throwback cheer outfits being instituted, not by Gen-Z organically deciding old looks are in or following some outfit Taylor Swift wore, but to keep the girls from tempting the boys. Soon Home Ec will be made mandatory for girls, while they will need their parent’s permission (specifically their Father’s) to study any AP science or math classes. Lois will suddenly find that many conservative new home buyers moving to town will be demanding to see her boss (a Male Boss) because they cannot imagine a woman with children working as a real estate agent.
Beetle Bailey – Sarge’s military court ordered anger management classes require he start making amends. Sarge figured Beetle, the one he harmed most, was the one he should start with. He’s disappointed Beetle’s ignoring him, but still mostly dreads the smug mug of Lt. Fuzz when he has to apologize to him.
Marvin – I make a lot of jokes about the war for space in the shrinking comics pages has each comic trying to step into the territory of another, but Jeff looks too tired to even try anymore. He exists in a universe printed on flammable newsprint, and is damned forever to have an annoying child that will never be potty trained. He’s more than happy to let it all burn. Burn. Burn… ?
@Sequitur: Doggy Lamaze (or La-paws, as vets in the know call it)?
@TheDiva: On CS: And where are the police? Wouldn’t they be interested in arson perpetuated by a radical group?
(And it would be cool, but highly unlikely given Batiuk, if the fire had weakened the support for the stairs and they had to be blocked off, thus denying Les his supply of clandestine books.)
Believe It or Not: The Siberian Unicorn’s horn’s so long it needs an extra “e” in “meeter” to accommodate it.
Wallace the Brave Amelia’s has gone way too far in her hijinks today, so Wallace would be justified in losing his usual cool and yelling at her.
@Sequitur: Thanks! Ooooh, pretty colors! But still, from me, a great big nope to the tights and pantihose. I’ve served my time.
@I speak Jive: I hated garter belts. But when, after all the hoopla about the wonderfulness of pantihose, I tried them and realized they were also very uncomfortable and that I was going to have to wear them to work anyway, that’s when I became a little bitter. Now I cherish, with great gratitude, my current freedom to be a slob.
@119 Poteet:
I do believe that would be Les’ philosophy as well.
@T.H. Steady: That’s a good point. I will now just hope that both of them will at least not go Total Airhead at the same time.
Is this the first time we’re seeing Chip Flagston’s eyes? I believe they’ve been compared to Uncle Beetle’s eyes in the past so I guess we now know what his eyes look like under his cap.
“Isnt this fascinating?”- Bob Barker, that one time someone actually won The Golden Road Game on TPIR.
@2+2=7: Doggy Lamaze
_________
Didn’t she costar with Bob Husky and Bing Cocker-spaniel in “The Road To The Fire Hydrant”?
@Voshkod: @The Rambling Otter: Waldo had an arch-enemy? Those ‘books’ had a plot?
______________________
(SPOILER ALERT) The mermaid did it.
@Sequitur: …freedom to be slob.
____________________
Leading eventually to the tv special, “Free To Be Slobby Me” starring Marlo Thomas and Mel Brooks
@Poteet: @I speak Jive: I hated garter belts.
____________________
“Yesssss…Poteet…..let your hatred grow and lead you over to the dark side of the clothes closet.”- Frank Nelson, “Star Bores Episode 1: The Benny Menace”
C-Shaft: Hey, James Bond people, I know you’ve been looking a while for Craig’s replacement, but your search is very much NOT over.
GA: Love to know what Mee-Meow got for an epidural. Girlfriend be trippin’.
H&L: “Also it makes it easier to use 60-year-old clipart.”
JP: Kat went really method with the “Neddy Spencer-Driver” role and hasn’t been able to break out of it since.
MT: Man, if I had a nickel for every time that happened to me…
@T.H. Steady: I liked Ronnie a lot better before
______________________________
She should never have left her show, “The Third Ronnie.”
@Poteet: What, you’re not getting “all gussied up” for Cousin Pam’s engagement dinner? Estelle and Dr. Ed will be so disappointed.
@129 Ukulele Ike: Poteet’s too fancy for Hoboken and too hot for church without getting all gussied up, or even getting half-way gussied up.
Late Thread School
Where did gussied up come from?
@Horace Broon: I think because maybe Waldo sounds a little more whimsical, in the marketable sense.
Although, I have no idea why the board game Clue was named Cluedo in the U.K.
I have no idea what Cluedo even means, while Clue is a word everyone knows. Especially in the U.K because that’s where we get about 90% of our classic murder mystery novels.
@But What Do I Know?: He’s paying for two, don’tcha know
_______________________________________
Did Sgt.Lugg get him preggers?
Congrats to my fellow shadowfloaters as well!
@The Rambling Otter: That one I know! It’s a pun on “ludo”, which is our name for parcheesi.
…I didn’t say it was a good reason.
Congrats to all the mentionees, and thanks, Baja!