Don’t even get me STARTED on why we don’t celebrate on May 1 like everyone else
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Gil Thorp, 9/2/24
Happy Labor Day, everybody! I guess it’s now an annual tradition for a continuity strip character to appear as Rosie the Riveter to promote the American labor movement. I’m going to take this opportunity to be a bit of a killjoy and point out that the now-iconic “We Can Do It!” poster was actually a piece of internal propoganda produced by Westinghouse Electric in 1942 in an attempt to get its employees to work harder; another poster from the same series provides pretty good evidence of where on the labor/capital divide the ultimate sympathies of the campaign lay. “We Can Do It!” was not associated with the “Rosie the Riveter” concept at the time, was not widely seen outside Westinghouse during the war, and was largely forgotten until the Washington Post Magazine did an article about patriotic wartime art in 1982. Much more famous at the time — and perhaps more in tune with the labor movement — was Norman Rockwell’s 1943 Rosie the Riveter cover for the Saturday Evening Post, which features Rosie chowing down on a sandwich on her lunch break while grinding a copy of Mein Kampf under her foot. Perhaps we can get Abbey Spencer or Sarah Morgan to do this pose next year.
Alice, 9/2/24
Most cartoonists are of course more interested in making jokes about “Ha ha, we call it Labor Day but nobody’s working” than they are exploring and celebrating advances in workers’ rights, of course, which is kind of funny considering most cartoonists are freelancers who don’t get paid holidays of any sort. Hey, Alice, maybe instead of lying around all day you should organize your workforce!
Hi and Lois, 9/2/24
I know the whole dynamic of the Thurstons’ marriage is that Irma is perpetually enraged about her husband’s laziness, but he very much does have a job that he goes to every weekday with Hi. Like, that’s an important part of the strip lore. He’s also not unionized, as he’s management (I’m basing this on the fact that he wears a tie to the office, but I think given the lingering 1950s aesthetic that’s a pretty good rubric), so maybe this is just further topical commentary.
179 replies to “Don’t even get me STARTED on why we don’t celebrate on May 1 like everyone else”
I watched Alien: Romulus, and much like the original Alien movie, my first thought was “these people need a union.”
GT:
“The same person who designed Cesar Romero’s lips for his ‘Joker’ role in the ‘Batman’ TV series designed mine!”
I’m retired, so yeah…I’m with Thirsty.
MW: I see we haven’t seen the last of Dr. See. Unless Estelle is going to take this opportunity to shove a letter opener between her ribs.
CS: Les Moore, rebel anarchist! Naaah, not really buying it.
JP: “Well, we went to the Hamptons and yada yada yada the uncle was arrested for murder. Good to be home.”
Alice:
Let’s see. What should I put in there? Hmm — I’m drawing a blank.
Alice-Insert Joke Here because the writer is too lazy to think of something.
MW-And thus ends the shortest convention ever. No long boring seminars. No booths full of bored people.
FC-After four of you Mommy most definitely is closed for labor.
MW:
“I’m higher than a kite already, boys! — want to go to the Magic Kingdom with me?”
MW: “You boys behave.” Adjusts bra. “You girls too!”
RMMD:
“Truck! What in the world!?!”
“I’m just practicin’ the video for my forthcomin’ cover of Nick Lowe’s ‘Cracking Up’ !”
GT:
Hey — that’s not Rosie the Riveter! That’s just Beth the Bartendress in a do-rag!
RMMD:Truck is shocked that Rhonda has discovered his “secret” malady? He hasn’t exactly been suffering in silence.
MW: Behind that sickeningly sweet simper is a woman who’s going to pin Dr See to the wall and interrogate her.
Fred Basset Spanish to English.
(Hey, it’s Labor Day)
MW: Estelle taking two Rottweilers to see Dr. See! Good dogs! (Now what was that German attack command again?)
Dustin: Ha ha, I don’t actually care one bit about your mental health, I just want you to feed me and my crew.
6Chx: Just what the world needs, more crappy bands with stupid names.
SFox: Congrats to all the elementary school kids out there who nailed this quiz.
I don’t think I’m deranged enough to come up with a suitable thought for Alice. 99.9% of the population probably isn’t.
Don’t hate me, but for once I like the comeback from Les Moore today. He deserves a smirk and is getting one from the Cayla look-alike there.
Today’s Alice is very irresponsible. You can’t just ask newspaper readers to take the massive doses of psychoactive drugs needed to write Alice.
CS. Get Funky Winkerbean cancelled. Move the slightly more popular Crankshaft over to GoComics. Slowly turn Crankshaft into FW. You have to give Tom Batuik credit for the grift.
I think the Westinghouse poster overshadowed the Rockwell cover because the woman in the latter is thiccer and therefore less attractive by 1980s standards.
Crankshaft: If Batiuk had only thought to start his Fahrenheit 451 homage a few weeks earlier, he could have had the perfect conclusion set for today, with Lillian’s book store being burned to the ground, not by the forces of intolerance, but by Crankshaft’s last grill disaster of the summer.
Gil Thorp: The irony is that this is a comic strip about sports, but the characters couldn’t make a decent muscle even if they tried!
Alice: This cartoonist was a full-time architect when she created Alice, so at some point in her life she actually worked very hard. What has being picked up by the King Features Syndicate done to her work ethic? Answer: (Fill in the blank.)
Hi and Lois: The Flagstons and the Thurstons both have enormous suburban yards, so the fact that Thirsty likes to relax as far as possible away from his own house and as close as possible to Hi and Lois’ fence has to mean something, right? Something like “I wish I were a fat, drunken, slothful part of their family instead of my own, because then my wife would never get mad at me!” (Of course, this isn’t true — Hi isn’t overweight, a heavy drinker, or particularly lazy, but Lois gets mad at him all the time!)
MW: Alerted to Estelle’s impending arrival with the Rottweilers, Dr. See instructs her staff to release the hounds.
Much as I love Dark Hi and Lois I’m genuinely pleased that Thirsty is happy! Anyway is Lois’s glare “I can’t believe I slept with that guy” or “I can’t believe that harridan is harassing my former lover” (don’t tell me Lois never slept with Thirsty, I’ve seen Chip).
CS: Let’s all take a moment to salute the tremendous courage of Tom Batiuk, whose author insert insists on having his high school students read a book that in the US is, at best, just barely controversial. (And even then, almost every American controversy was about age-inappropriate obscenity rather than the core issue itself, though don’t expect that to stop Batiuk from pretending otherwise.) Anyway, the straw school board doesn’t approve orders of Fahrenheit 451, so Les is cunningly going over their heads and ordering copies online! Haha, just kidding, he’s ordering the books from a small-town used bookstore for some reason. This “Booksmellers” place would of course at best have just three or four copies of the book in stock and in different prints with varying page numbers, but I guess this is how we’re looping in the local bookstores to be targeted by the straw mob and their The Burnings®.
JP: “So it’s agreed – we don’t leave Manhattan at all this fall.”
“What about the rest of the summer, though?”
“What are you talking about? It’s September.”
“I could have sworn it was mid-June.”
“We’ll worry about that later. Right now we should probably talk about your imminent death from late-onset hypoxia. Man, we really should have taken you to the hospital yesterday.”
MW: Sorry, were you hoping to get a little more value out of that Veterinarians Convention? Nope! It was just a quick little party and now it’s “the next day” and everyone’s done with that! Oh, and to the folks who well-ackshually’d me about professional conventions having first-day cocktail hours that precede the actual seminars and booth displays and whatnot over the following days: I told you so.
MW: Estelle’s shriveled right breast could be a metaphor for her relationship with Dr. Ed. On the other hand, it could be a signal that not even June Brigman could give a rat’s ass about the story—because a rat’s ass is exactly what Estelle’s boob looks like in that second panel.
MW: Hey, Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars! I hope you didn’t get stuck with all that merchandise…! It looked like you had planned for an event that would draw more than four conventioneers—and last longer than 47 minutes.
Curtis: I’m guessing that Curtis will either lose the check or spend it on something stupid, leading his parents to finally disown him.
Dustin: “Three large pizzas sounds perfect! Now what would you boys want?”
Luann: “Traumatized by an angry wacko woman”? The same woman whose kid Shannon made cry? What the hell?
9 Chickweed Lane : Lolly’s entire torso, from shoulder to pubis, being smaller than the lectern of a grand piano (or Aleister’s FACE for that matter), is less concerning to me than forgetting that the “music stand” of keyboard instrument tends to be BUILT IN, and thus wouldn’t be removed from the player not requiring music sheets to play a melody.
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Curtis : will obviously spend the rest of the week refusing to share the 5000$ cheque with his dad on the basis that it’s HIS money, and that Greg should earn his own. This is the moment to milk “role reversal” comedy!
************
Hi & Lois : either the strip has forgotten Thirsty works at Froofram, or it’s finally admitting that “job” he and Hiram share is actually a pretext for the two of them to leave the house to go golfing/hit the bars.
************
Luann : Alternate punchline : “Aunt Toni got into bed with me, and started touching me funny until she made me pee myself, then she laughed!”
….Too far?….*************
Phoebe and Unicorn : Uh, Magic 8-Balls are like that because it’s a pool/billiards reference. What is with this being angrily smug while also being blatantly wrong? Am I reading the wrong comic? Did Frazz turn into a unicorn all of a sudden?
[From yesterthread] @Artist formerly known as Ben: That scene is even funnier when you know that Michael Palin’s line ‘Hey, I didn’t eat the mousse!’ was an ad-lib thrown in at the last moment as he was making his exit.
Luann: So, he did survive. Granted, it’s only Monday but I guess I probably owe some folks here a Coke.
MW: Welp, this has gotta be one of the most contrived set-ups in the history of this strip.
[takes deep breath, screams] WHAT WAS EVEN THE POINT OF THAT CONVENTION????!!!!
And the look on Dr. Mr. Ed’s face is giving me vibes of ‘Gee, maybe I should marry these two dogs instead… I let no man judge me!’
RMMD: ‘Truck! Do you know how much that 1950s vintage coffee mug was worth?!’
Karen Moy is convincing me that Estelle is as dumb as Jeffy Keane.
MW: so Ed doesn’t have a receptionist or an assistant of any kind. He should have chosen another career.
GT: This is the most comprehensible Gil Thorp has been in a long time. I’ll take it.
Alice: Let’s see… Cubist Abraham Lincoln smashes the American flag over Cubist Ronald McDonald’s head.
HnL: Hi is doing the “angry girlfriend” meme!
Frazz: “Farmers don’t exercise fanatically like I do, so I really don’t give them any thought.”
Luann: Will Shannon get her puppy? Stay tuned!
CS: The suggestion that Les “write[s] with more clarity” has to be the funniest thing Batiuk has put into a Crankshaft strip ever.
9CL: I don’t think the human body can manage that pose. Lolly must be in excruciating pain.
MW: I wonder if the Kents know their dogs are going to another vet. I guess what they don’t know won’t hurt them.
Zits: “I wish she’d say something about nice about my dick.”
FC: “Time to get the crowbar.”
@JamesBont: I’m betting on a donation to the Turtle Sanctuary from last year.
MW – This would be a lot more interesting if Estelle had decided on her own to take a couple of large, slavering beasts over to his ex’s office.
Gil THORP: Keri (and or Beth. Who knows?): “Happy Labor Day…or so help me, I will pound you into the pavement with my brass knuckles!”
love is... being stoned on time.
Ummm, Gil’s daughter is a student, not a worker, so she’s just cosplaying as one. Appropriate for this era!
REX MORGAN M.D: Given the comically exaggerated look of shame and embarrassment, I’m gonna assume that the third panel was reused from an arc when Truck got caught spanking it right there in the diner booth.
“You celebrate labor day despite doing no work as usual!”
“Well Irma, you celebrate labor day despite being a miserable childless woman!”
(Ouch, that’s too cruel. He should run for national office)
Alice celebrates labor day with a joke that’s actually the opposite of belabored
RMMD:
“Is there something wrong with your hands!?”
“No!…I’m….drunk! That’s it. There’s nothing wrong with my hand, at all.”
GT: “Happy labor day! But not for me! My abortion means I won’t have to deal with labor soon, hopefully until I am settled”
Hi’s and Lois’s line of sight makes it look like they are staring at Irma’s ass. And Lois is NOT impressed
Gil Thorp – Next year it will be the Family Circus with Thel and Dolly Doing the “We Can Do it” pose, only instead of standing on Mein Kampf, they desecrate whatever the most popular book is to ban in their fundamentalist Christian circles.
Alice – Alice is actually radically showing how much the mainstream media, and the entirety of social media, has shifted the burden of content production onto the consumer. Memes themselves, a significant portion of which is recaptioning of existing webcomics or still from animated series, allow Facebook to sell your attention to the advertisers with no compensation to the creators, and very little at all to meme pages that steal/curate the memes.
Hi and Lois – Thirsty is definitely a leech on the system, consuming far more value than he actually produces. But from the workers perspective, he’s probably less exploitative than most of the management class.
For one, you know if he does manage, he doesn’t ask too much of the people under him. Mostly this is due to him being hung voter until 2PM most days, but also a general attitude of doing the least possible to get by applies to his underlings (unless they also answer to several bosses due to management bloat).
At the same time, unlike Hi and Lois, who look like they are going out to do something that involves someone who has to work the holiday, Thirsty will make no demands on any wage laborer today.
As for unpaid domestic labor, Irma’s fully in her rights to feel the need to rise up against Thirsty’s laziness.
Nancy: I HAVE SLUGGO IN THE DEAD POOL!
MW: Interrupted by a stranger on her way to Doctor See’s office, Estelle comes back without the dogs but with magic beans.
@jroggs: You’ve touched on the key flaw in this story. We don’t know *why* Fahrenheit 451 is “not approved” in Westview. This detail is crucial, but the story is likely to ignore it.
If it’s for the content reasons you mentioned, the school board is within its rights to disallow it, because of Supreme Court rulings like FCC v Pacifica (aka the George Carlin case) that permits limited regulation of content. If it’s because of the book’s content and ideas, the ban is legally unenforceable, because of cases like Island Trees v Pico, which ruled that school boards can’t “remove books from school libraries… when that action is motivated simply by the officials’ disapproval of the ideas involved.”
There’s also the problem that public school teachers can’t blatantly defy principals like Les is doing here. Principal Nate’s next line should be “if you violate school board rules, you’re fired.”
Alice: Thought bubble: I miss Vera and Flo. Mel can “kiss my grits” if you know what I mean [waggles eyebrows].
JUDGE PARKER: Hahahahaha! A murdered father is such a wacky misadventure and a “meet cute”!
JUDGE PARKER (2): I…don’t know how staying in Manhattan will help since, remember, Lucas also goes to school with them and will remind them of this these “shenanigans” everytime they see each other (Hahaha. Look at me pretending that Lucas, the main reason the girls went on this trip in the first place, still exists and hasn’t been dropped off bound and gagged into the Sea of Retconned Continuity.)
Alice: There’s a wonderful old hymn that I want played nice and loud at my funeral: “For all the saints, who from their labors rest…” That ain’t a dream bubble and Alice ain’t organizing anyone, is what I’m getting at.
Alice: Thought Bubble: That was some good shit in the Caterpillar’s hookah.
CRANKSHAFT WINKERBEAN: You know, if Batiuk really wanted to be efficient, he’d just “borrow” the “angry Karen” from Luann and make here the president of the school board. She’d be the perfect representation for the type of “subtle nuance” this story is clearly to explore about this issue.
I for one am happy to see Gil Thorp keeping up Norman Rockwell’s tradition of gender non-conformity, even if it is in the Westinghouse format. Do girl’s softball players next, Gil Thorp! It’s much more in your wheelhouse!
MW – Which do you think will happen when Estelle arrives, a dog fight or a cat fight?
BF: Swinging into Week Two of “Blonde Friend is in her mid-fifties and her Life is over, and she was probably never good at Life anyway.” Just get back into bed, lady, and stay there.
BB: Those would be prostitutes, boys. I didn’t think they were allowed to park right outside the army base gates, but times change.
Curtis: Jesus, Billingsley, it’s nice to see Greg happy for a change, but NEVER draw him like this again.
@Banana Jr. 6000:
Principal Nate gave up on disciplining Les Moore when he breaks the rules after that time Les sicc’ed the school paper on him to run a piece demonising Nate as a draconian tyrant because Les couldn’t deal with having used up all his free copies on the school copier.
Alice – Sorry, I fill in the blanks in the CC comment section.
I am once again worried about the people who favorite 9 Chickweed Lane strips. (It’s always right around 95-100, so I’m thinking it’s the same dedicated crew, can you imagine what a 9CL Trufan comment section would look like?)
GT: Why does Keri get to stand in for the hard working men and women of America, anyway? As far as I know they don’t even have a part time job. Beth the Bartender might be a better choice, although she just quit that job to be Gil’s sugar baby so maybe not. (On the other hand, I’m still headcanoning that she’s getting the money for those expensive gifts she bestows on the Thorps via an OnlyFans account, and sex workers are starting to unionize…)
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: (I’m also worried about what that Overlook twin is doing to her body, but that’s another story.)
Alice: A lesson what direct sunlight will do to your hair.
JP: When college girls and young urbanites struggle home hungover during the early morning hours in their party dresses and cute shoes, it’s called the “walk of shame.” I wonder if the wee-hours weekend trains on the LIRR are known as the “ride of shame?”
In any case, these two should be holding signs reading “Just solved a murder case — NOT FUCKING.”
Phantom: Devil’s about to get his ass handed to him by Robodog, isn’t he?
RMMD: ”Your coffee SUCKS, Wanda.”
Gil Thorp: You, a comics-remembering internet savant: Hey, Keri’s a student, not a worker! Me, a complete moron: According to Ivan Illich’s highly influential 1971 work Deschooling Society, students are essential members of the proletariat who help to build their own system of oppression, which goes well beyond what we usually consider industrialism. Happy Labor Day indeed, Keri! Throw off your shackles and engage the freedom of lifelong learning!
A little late on this, but I had a really good smile out of Saturday’s Alley Oop.
Still don’t care for this superhero plot, tho.
@66 Ukulele Ike:
Here is Friday’s Alley Oop.
CS: The whole point of euphemism is to not be clear, you sanctimonious ass. You’d think the world’s most important writer would understand that.
MARY WORTH: Lord, there are porn videos with less contrived set-ups!
C’shaft: Come on, Nate, you’re the one who solved homophobia in your school forever by holding up a school handbook and yelling “Ain’t no rule in here says we can’t hold a gay prom!” You should appreciate this level of malicious compliance.
I for one will be very surprised if Batiuk ever gets around to discussing why Fahrenheit 451 got challenged, because the reasons (profanity and drunkenness) are actually kind of lame, especially by modern standards when Moms for Liberty tools are out there cherry-picking the spicier bits of A Court of Mist and Fury and reading them aloud at board meetings. (Personally, if I were going to use an “oh the irony” title for this particular subject it would be 1984. It was banned in the USSR for being anti-communist and challenged in the US for being pro-communist, which means it was pissing off all the right people.)
Dustin: Dustdad was perfectly happy with the idea of ordering a pizza until he realized other people might be made happy by his doing so.
JP: “Good thing that we, despite being college students, can afford to spend all our time in an area that has one of the highest costs of living in the country, and that nothing of interest to us ever happens in the surrounding boroughs.”
Luann: On the plus side, it looks like Jonah has found steady work in a local company of Hair.
MW: Why does Stell need to take someone else’s dogs to someone else’s vet practice? Does Ed outsource his non-euthanasia patients?
Pluggers have got their comfortable retirement package, and now don’t care if their grandchildren have to work well into their seventies to make ends meet.
@66 Ukulele Ike:
Whoops, you wanted Saturday, I put up Friday’s. Your link seems to work now. The first time I clicked it a got a general GoComics find a comic menu.
Eels.
@TheDiva: Maybe that’s what Beth is actually doing in the picture, with a specifically calibrated performance for people who have a fetish for worker’s rights and fisting (“I’ll celebrate you as a ‘hard worker’ for sure!” Wink wink)
Baby Blues: Middle panel. How Wilbur looked as a child.
Alice: Surely I can’t be the only one who immediately pictured Madame LeFarge?
@Sequitur: Well, Friday was pretty good, too! However, Eel Destroyer is now the best superhero ever.
(I went back and checked my work right after I posted, and fixed the bad link, but you were too quick for me)
@Morgan Wick: And they couldn’t do a modern version of the Rockwell cover because the Anti-Woke Brigade would throw a Male-strom of complaints because they weren’t catered to.
9CL – If she wants him to focus on learning the music this is a very odd choice.
Somewhere in Brooke’s closet is a Barbie doll with both legs ripped off trying to model this posture.
He’s getting worse. Was there another stroke? Not that kind!
The plot was that he wants to wait until he is 20 to get married to her. And of course everyone must only boink within the bounds of matrimony. So I’m not sure what she is accomplishing here other than driving herself into a lifetime of physical therapy and rehab.
She has to be on top of the piano wires, adding even more excruciating pain to this pose.
I miss the old days when you could just fuck without needing to rip your legs out of their sockets first.
@Violet: No, I’ve never pictured Madame Defarge wearing sunglasses and drinking pink gin. Seems counterrevolutionary. I generally look for the knitting.
Nancy – Olivia Jaimes is baaaaack. I thought some of her guest cartoonists had some decent stories, but the art left me cold. I know, I know. She’s no Bushmiller, but she’s also no Gilchrist.
CS: Aside from all the other problems with this story, why is Les ordering the book from the previously unheard of “Booksmellers” store, instead of from Lillian’s store, The Village Booksmith? He was just at Lillian’s store in the strips last week, so it’s a store that he’s familar with and which supports his ideology of promoting “banned books” that aren’t very controversial anymore.
@Ukulele Ike:
Well, I meant more for the thought bubble, you know; kind of a What Labor Day Means to Me sort of visualization exercise.
@79 Old School Allie Cat:
I never though I’d be glad to see Olivia Jaimes back but those HUGE EYES the last guest artist used were too creepy.
Besides, Olivia killed off Sluggo, my Dead Pool choice. I really thought he would never get bumped off which is weird because I really have nothing against Sluggo.
Alice: Draw your very own wet dream for Alice to jill off to!
Hi And Lois: Honestly, the more strips like this we see, the more I’m inclined to side with Thirsty. He’s just trying to live his life and have a good, relaxing time and instead he gets harassed on every front by people calling him lazy. No wonder he drinks so much.
CS: Maybe I’m just being hopeful, but it seems like Batty is wrapping things up for good. His recent “Crankshaft Minus Crankshaft” stories have been about an old man rowing into the sunset, a
ChadPeter & Jeremy nostalgia tour, Batton’s biography, and now a last-ditch effort to win that elusive Pulitzer Prize. Lisa’s story came up short, but surely book burning is worth a buck or two. They’re into books and stuff, right?Hi and Lois: What’s Hi doing with his hand in his pocket?
Don Abundio, translated:
“Do you like my extra-tall costume?”
“Definitely!”
“Otherwise I’d have no doubt what you’d be doing…”
“Trying to look up my skirt!”
@Anonymous: Les should have been fired then, too. And when the school had layoffs, where he was a screamingly obvious candidate.
MW: Why does “Dr. Ed Harding’s Animal Care Clinic” have a sign posted on the front “Animal Hospital”? Doesn’t that confuse the clientele’s owners when they are writing out a check?
@Flipper: I think it’s already been cancelled at year’s end.
@Sequitur: I dunno, but I do know that the other one is playing a piano.
Bad move, Alice. If you leave your dreamspace blank it’s inevitable that Gravel Gertie will invade it with a pimped out Chevy Camaro.
@TheDiva: I mean, you probably shouldn’t have graphic sexual content in a school library, and I well remember my high school English teacher, no prude he, thinking that YA was getting a little too adult back in the mid-teens.
Nehemiah Scudder doesn’t come around here much anymore, so in honor of Labor Day I will link to one his favorite posters.
And it’s not just about paper towels! The workers of the world demand air and lighting too!
@Banana Jr. 6000: Well dang, now I feel like I’ve wasted a wish.
@Violet: (I apologize for sounding pompous and dickish at #78!)
If Alice and Gearhead Gertie got in a fight, would anyone win?
@matt w: And Dot and Ditto.
Crankshaft: already a terrible strip, they just made it worse with Les as a recurring character. Ugh, I thought we were done with this shit.
MW: Still waiting for what Sheila See (she’ll see) will reveal to Eshtelle.
RMMD: as a 50-something musician who plays a physically-demanding instrument (upright bass) this speaks to me. Hoping it’s carpal tunnel and not arthritis. I know people who’ve had to quit playing, and it scares the fuck out of me.
@Bob Tice: Alice: Speaking of lips, and her Picassoesque style notwithstanding, why does Alice have three lips?
@Peanut Gallery:
¿Crees que Don Abundio está a punto de asesinar a esa mujer? Porque lo hago.
@Ukulele Ike:
Oh, I didn’t think you did. I thought you just misapprehended what I was saying yo.
@100 Violet:
No, he’s just going to goose her with his gauntlet.
@jroggs: MW: And we fools were expecting realism from Mary Worth? Ha!
@Flipper: Don’t stop wishing! This country can’t handle another four years of the Funkyverse, and we need the support of people like you to help make it happen! Please donate… sorry, I’ve been getting too many political spam texts lately.
@brendancalling:
Les Moore challenging book bans on Crankshaft might as well be Fonzie challenging the California Kid to a waterski jump over a shark tank on Happy Days, huh?
I don’t know if Hi and Lois were taking a walk around their very spacious back yard when they stumbled upon this scene or if they came to chat to their neighbours and are now leaving before the loud fighting starts again, but either way their faces clearly show they know it’s time to skedaddle.
***
Happy Labor Day, Americans. Up here in Canada we have our own holiday called Labour Day today. It’s much like yours, but we put slightly more effort into it.
Curtis: How can the Hobknockers in London write a check in American money? Good God, maybe Curtis’s dad isn’t familiar with the idea that other countries have different money, and it’s really for five thousand pounds.
MW: Hooboy! Whatta weekend at the SRVC! Seemed to go by in the wink of an eye! I’m sorry you folks missed a lot of the action there – things really got wild. But thanks to all the drinking and carousing, we were able to sell out all our merch at inflated prices!
Of course the main “purpose” of the vet convention was to bring old flame Dr. Sheila See into the picture! And looks like she wasn’t a one-note! We’re gonna get a “confrontation” between her and Estelle, with added Rottweilers! Now I don’t think we need to worry too much about *why* Estelle needs to take the Kent’s Rottweilers over to Dr. See’s office – their Uber driver probably dropped them off at the wrong Animal Hospital. I’m sure there’s a perfectly good reason. But the important thing is that it looks like our Star hopefuls will get more than one panel! Maybe a whole week! They might even get NAMES!
Yeah, only Mrs. Johnson’s Retriever, Jordie, got a name… And we didn’t even get to see Mr. Martin’s Greyhound… they didn’t need to hire an extra for him. Maybe that’s for the best since his character is gettin’ “put down” – no need to get attached. The point is that these Dog guest debuts have not led to any breakout Stars or even callbacks. But maybe that’s gonna change!… or maybe just more disappointed aspiring thespians.
Alice: I have to provide Alice’s captions? Okay, I’m game. Let’s see, she’s thinking about her childhood. She sent off for sea monkeys from a comic book ad, and their antics charmed and amused her, but her cat slurped them up the very next day. She spent a week hiding in her room, refusing to speak, until finally she told her school guidance counselor. The counselor listened intently and finally said, “What’s wrong with your hair, little girl? Do you comb it with a wrench?” Yeah, it’s a great holiday!
Alice’s lips are doing the Zits’ mom Zumba jiggle, and I don’t like it one bit.
@of wince: @of wince: Ha ha ha! My “made” disappeared.
MW: It’s a Rex Morgan crossover when the Doggo Twins make an unexpected cameo. Can Edward’s dog be far behind?
@Violet: Maybe. But judging by her glassy stare, she appears to be one of those robots from Westworld, so I think she’ll be fine.
Gil Thorp: I always enjoy seeing anyone give the Up Yours gesture.
Alice: No content whatsoever? Best Alice installment evar!
Hi and Lois: I also enjoy seeing someone subluxate their shoulder like that.
@brendancalling: Do you know the old story about Joe Venuti and all the bass players in NYC?
(if you care enough the click the link, scroll down to the “Practical Jokes” section)
(it’s okay, they all got paid)
CS: Fahrenheit 451 was assigned reading when I was in high school more than 50 years ago, back when jeans were first allowed and girls could wear miniskirts. I even remember a couple of twin sisters wearing see through blouses (with bras).
Where was I?
Oh yeah, this is ridiculous.
@Violet: Good, because I did. I think of Madame Defarge as less about the labor rights movement, and more about Chopping the heads off Royals.
Alice – Oh sunbeam – mutate me with your unfiltered malicious goodness….
H&L – I think Thursty should get negative time and a half labor on Labor Day….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@jroggs: Re JP, apparently we are not supposed to refer to “dry drowning” anymore, which is the term I really like, but you are sooo right, it could have been a really excellent plot development, killing Sophie and educating readers at the same time. Dang.
@made of wince:
Neil Young said it best: “A Man Needs a ‘Made.’ “
@teenchy: Two for regular, one for Sunday best.
CS: Les is openly defying school management, and Nate doesn’t like it one bit.
“Here’s a cardboard box, Moore. Whatever’s still here in 15 minutes is getting tossed in the dumpster, and that includes you.”
@Professor Well Actually: I was in high school more than fifty years ago, and I would have loved to wear jeans, or pants of any kind. But nooo, only skirts were allowed for girls. Not that I’m bitter. But we did get to read FAHRENHEIT 451, and as a resident of a book-banning state, what I’m most looking forward to seeing in this courageous CRANKSHAFT story is someone finally figuring out that Lillian’s bookstore is in violation of local zoning, local building codes, and the ADA.
@of wince: I look forward to seeing that again on Friday.
LUANN: Yes, Toni, and you were definitely modeling calm mature adult behavior yourself.
@Poteet: That’s so nice, I am almost wincing. Thanks.
MW: Um, Estelle, Dr. Ed is wearing a PINK lab coat. You might want to ask him about this before your major nuptials planning goes any further.
@Ukulele Ike: And that section doesn’t even include some of my favorite Joe Venuti stories. (Link is NSFW.) (No, not that last story; I liked the piano and the flower garden.)
@Poteet: I look forward to seeing that someone finally figuring out that Lillian’s bookstore is in violation of local zoning, local building codes, and the ADA.
Don’t forget labor laws! Those 10-year-old “assistants” of Lillian’s are well below employment age. Assuming they’re getting paid at all. Even though we’ve seen them performing skilled tasks like creating Lillian’s web page.
@99 teenchy: They’re not lips; they’re cow udders. Don’t ask where the fourth one is.
@Alter Ego: Hey, I got that (underground) comic book, too!
MY fave Venuti story is about the 1930 recording of “Barnacle Bill the Sailor” by the Hoagy Carmichael Orchestra featuring Bix Beiderbecke on cornet. Joe comes in on the vocal choruses with a lusty “Barnacle Bill the Shithead!” Clearly audible over the rest of the boys.
(Any other “Moldy Figs” like myself here, check out that personnel. Wotta band!)
@Tom: Well dang! There goes my plan to assign New Wave Hookers: The Novelization to the classroom!
FRAZZ: Anyone here grilling broccoli today? I’ve never had it grilled, so is it any good?
CROSS COMIX:. JP had a scary scene where Soph was getting pulled away bt wild currents, and today in FG the same is happening to Dale in space. For a change, couldn’t the woman reach out and rescue the man? More like real life.
CURTIS:. Guess rather than Dad protect Curtis’s bonus from Mom, it’ll have to be the other way around. And they have even less than $5000 in bills? Slackers.
Personal:. In case you didn’t ask because you are shy, yes, I did complete my race this morning but took about twice as long as I’d hoped.
Regarding the post title, it’s because anything called “International Workers’ Day” must be COMMUNISM, right?
Here in the UK, we very nearly got rid of the May Bank Holiday as dangerously left-wing under Thatcher, but it was saved on the grounds that it was also a British tradition dating back to long before “workers’ rights” meant anything other than “peasants’ revolt”, and that actually appealed to a lot of traditionalist Tories, whose vision of what England used to be like before it was all ruined by shopping centres and diesel trains had “the maypole on the village green” as an essential component.
DT: Psst, Ro-Zan, I realise English isn’t your first language, but when Diet asks where your brother is, he’s not actually fishing for the exact geographic coordinates of New Moon Valley, just wondering why he’s not here. Not that it matters, because your response is a non sequiteur either way!
Heath: Fun fact! Tigger the literary character went out of copyright in the US this year, when The House at Pooh Corner entered the public domain. The likeness of Tigger as designed by Disney (only vaguely inspired by the E H Shepherd drawings) absolutely didn’t! Luckily for Gallagher, their lawyers will take one look at this and decide that even processing it as a thing that was published is too much, never mind taking it to court.
OTF: Holbrook, having slightly more dignity that Tom Batiuk, has a caption admitting the graphic novel his pet character has spontaneously written and had published is a real book, but doesn’t completely turn the strip into advertising space by including a URL you can buy it from.
S4th: I’ve completely lost track of how old this kid’s supposed to be, but given that the strip has Jackie assuming all her friends are soft toys while she sounds and looks a lot like Hil, I don’t think I’m the only one.
I gather from the comments here that L*s M**re has made his Crankshaft debut, and I would like to express my respect to Josh for completely ignoring this.
@Activist: I’ve never grilled broccoli, but eggplant and zucchini squash are delicious, especially if bathed in olive oil with chopped garlic and fresh basil first. Salt and pepper it when you put it on the grill, flip once, and be careful not to blacken beyond recognition. Good with a scoop of ricotta or a chunk of feta on the side.
With corn on the cob and a ripe tomato salad, this is quintessential summer dinner. Protein optional.
For Mr. Broon, that would be aubergines and courgettes.
@Ukulele Ike:
Sure, but chopping them off for what purpose? Funsies? Maybe a little, but mostly to liberate the downtrodden.
Today’s Alice blank is filled in by Zippy the Pinhead: “I’m sorry… I thought what you wanted was just a surreal non sequitur about logic, word salad & accountants!”
@Horace Broon: Thanks, did NOT know that about May Bank Holiday.
We are the Draught Beer Preservation Society
God save Mrs. Mopps and good old Mother Riley
We are the Custard Pie Appreciation Consortium
God save the George Cross and all those who were awarded them
And God save Sir Ray Davies.
@Ukulele Ike: Yep, and tomahto salad.
Corn on the cob is the same.
n screen) A bearded man being led away from his house,wearing a straight jacket shouting, “No! No! It was the bed! The bed was conspiring against me with the Water-pik and air conditioner! I heard their thoughts! I had to do it! It was the bed! The bed! Won’t anyone listen to me?!?”
“Leaving Mr Josh Fruhlinger, Comic Cummugion, extrodinaire, a good man who realized too late that it is dangerous to cummugionize* comics written on the golf courses in THE TWILIGHT ZONE”
“In a moment, Rod Serling will return with an ironic ad from Oasis cigarettes.”
“Ahhhh, the cool, mild, relaxing flavor of Oasis….smoke these babies everyday during your show’s introductions and you too can die of a heart attack in 1975!”
*a real word.
Next week THE TWILIGHT ZONE will be brought to you by Kimberly-Clark, maker of fine tissues and those woman health thingys we aren’t allowed to identify on 1950s TV . Join us, wont you?
@Hibbleton: Now, that made me laugh.
@brendancalling:
I think RMMD is going to go with focal dystonia, despite the fact that it doesn’t hurt and Truck does.
@Garrison Skunk: My mother’s beau, aged 88, used to work for Kimberly Clark, and one of his many engineering projects had to do with better packaging on single sale feminine hygiene products so they got hung up in vending machines less frequently.
RMMD:
Truck’s oaths and imprecations were so violently loud that they made their way all the way up to the stranded Starliner spacecraft, where an astronaut reported them to NASA as “strange noises.”
@Horace Broon: Corn on the cob is the same.
________________
“Corn On The Cob Is The Same”: Truck Tyler’s comeback song.
@Old School Allie Cat: Cool, was he successful in designing better packaging? And thank you for trudging through my “comedy” all the way to the end. :)
@Bob Tice: I need a made man.
@Sequitur:
Sí, supongo que eso es inevitable.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Gearhead Gertie, of course.
Alice is terrible.
@Garrison Skunk: Truck should release a cover version of Frank Zappa’s “Call Any Vegetable” on the B-side.
ALICE: This is the best written Alice has been in it’s life!
@Ukulele Ike:
#135. Thanks, Ike. Olive oil, garlic, basil, s&p. Simple enough, I’ll try it. But I bet it smells “fragrant” while being grilled. :-(
FBoFW:. Also inexcusably late but yesterday when Gord asked who would be married next– the eyes had it!
RwO:. It’s now low tide so no, only id1ot clams would be happy at being drydocked.
H&L: I don’t care if it’s a consequence of laziness and drinking. I like Thirsty’s taller lawn.
@Banana Jr. 6000: I’m very happy to add labor laws to the list! Also, that old dude who knew Lillian and her sister when they were young hasn’t been seen since he started rowing down the river (lake?) in that old rowboat a few weeks ago, and I want to know whether Lillian had anything to do with his disappearance. I wouldn’t put anything past her.
Alice: Anyone have tips on removing permanent marker from a monitor screen? (Asking for a friend.)
Curtis Dad’s all set on how to spend Curtis’s money. So much for the thrift lessons.
@Activist: Flash is always grabbing Dale by the hand when whenever they have to run. It’s an old trope in a lot of books, movies and such and I detest it.
MT: I have resolved to try hard to lay off MARK TRAIL rants. But if MT does any more unjustified general dissing of animal shelters, I may have to come out swinging. (Just said it out loud so it won’t happen. Skipping away now, tra-la-la.)
@Activist: Adjust garlic to your liking, of course, or substitute a little minced shallot.
@Dr. Pill: We’re lucky Dale doesn’t wear heels, because one would break off when she runs and Flash would have to go back and carry her. Drives me nuts (even though I have a high heel fetish).
GA: I have had a number of cats over the decades. Some have been slim and some, not so much. Mee-Meow is no Audrey Hepcat whose lack of appetite warrants concern, just saying.
@Horace Broon: Even as a young teen, I did not like what Disney did to Pooh and his friends and refused to see the films. I also disliked what Disney did to MARY POPPINS and THE JUNGLE BOOK. I’m grateful that his people never made their own version of I CAPTURE THE CASTLE back then.
@Poteet: Don’t forget the abomination that is Disney’s ALICE IN WONDERLAND.
@Old School Allie Cat: A spring-loaded napkin dispenser! No pins or straps to bind you….
@Poteet: The original Jungle Book 1967 cartoon is abysmal, though the music is good (til you get to the vultures’ song). The “live action” 2016 is much better, much closer to the feel and themes of the original stories. And it looks great. About the only “live action” remake that was successful.
@Ukulele Ike: Hard to forget once seen. Even bleach doesn’t help.
@Poteet: #123: I went to high school around the same time you did. At first it was no slacks at all on girls. In my sophomore year they allowed slacks for girls during the winter months. About a year or two later they allowed girls to wear slacks year round. The geniuses at our school board finally realized that slacks were far more modest than the miniskirts in style at the time. They also gradually relented on long hair for boys. As a freshman it was no sideburns at all. Later they were allowed down to the middle of the ear and then to the bottom of the earlobe.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Speaking of the dimwitted girls who work for Lillian’s bookstore, Emily and Amelia, I would like to see a strip along the following lines:
Twin: “Ms. McKenzie, we’re worried about the ‘Banned Books’ display you have there. We don’t want to get arrested when the police raid the store.”
Lillian: “Actually, when I say those books are banned, I mean that some schools have banned them from the curriculum or their libraries. The police aren’t going to arrest me for selling these books.”
Twin: “Well, we’re glad you’re not going to get arrested … but that’s a lot less interesting than what we originally thought was going on.”
@Ukulele Ike: It’s not so bad with sufficiently powerful drugs.
@Dr. Pill: DEFINITELY watch the 2016 live action JUNGLE BOOK, just for Bill Murray and Christopher Walken!
The 1967 cartoon movie was ameliorated by having George Sanders do the voice of Shere Khan.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Went to high school in the Cleveland area 1974-78. There were still miniskirts around, but increasingly rare. Mostly remember the skintight pants….see the 1993 movie Dazed and Confused, where teenage girls rolled around on the floor trying to squish themselves into their jeans.
Speaking of high school miniskirts, I remember a gorgeous blonde upperclasswoman with Vegas chorus girl legs who showed up one day in 1976 in a whispy white microdress.
I said to a friend “Oh god, did you SEE that?” And he answered “That’s my SISTER.”
@Ukulele Ike: #170: An ex girlfriend said she and her friends would lay flat on their backs and pull the zippers of their tight-fitting jeans up with a set of pliers.
Did your school have the wig guys? In my junior year our principal finally relented to fashion and allowed the boys to grow their hair as long as they wanted as long as they kept it hidden under a short hairstyle wig during school hours. So these young rebels ran to Kmart and bought cheap, old lady wigs. They were too cool to ask their grannies on wig-wearing procedures so what they’d do is slap the wig on their heads like Davy Crockett’s coonskin cap and stuff their tresses underneath in a 360 degree circle. Then they’d clamp it down with about a dozen or so bobby pins. Of course they looked ridiculous but strutting down the halls they thought they looked baaadaaasss. The wig actually rested on their scrunched up hair and not their scalps. They resembled those bulbous-headed “people of the future” popular in old science fiction stories.
@Ukulele Ike: Thanks. I think. I knew I was forgetting one.
@Peanut Gallery: Umm. Whoa. *plans to visit site again when more awake*
@Guillermo el chiclero: Bwahaha!
@Dr. Pill: I’ll keep that in mind.
@Hibbleton: “I swear Ed, it’ll make your beanstalk grow.”
(Ed is interested)
@Guillermo el chiclero: My Mom back in the 50’s in highschool had a classmate, whose parents forced her to wear the most conservative dresses in existence, and even have her hair in pigtails.
As soon as she got to the school, she would go into the bathroom, change into very provocative clothes, ditch the pigtails, put on makeup. And would put the plain clothing and pigtails back on before she went home.
Her parents soon disowned her when she became pregnant.
(Reposted because I made a huge typo and went to went to edit, the comment froze…)
Rex: what the fuck truck?