Soapy Thursday (JUST KIDDING IT’S FRIDAY I KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS HAHA)
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Mary Worth, 10/11/24
Big news, everyone! Estelle’s beloved dead husband was a heroic cop, and in classic fashion he died just days before his planned retirement — not, in classic fashion, in some dramatic shootout, but from a heart attack, due to overwork. This is clearly Estelle’s trauma plot that explains why she finds Ed’s workaholism so triggering, which, boooooring. I do find the details interesting in terms of the “how old is Estelle exactly” question, though. I think we have to assume from context that Estelle was widowed years ago, since she’s subsequently had time to move to Charterstone, get elder scammed, and date and break up with and get back together with Wilbur multiple times until she finally got permanently sick of his shit. If someone joins the force young, they could retire relatively early, but still, Jimmy has to be at least in his mid 50s in this story, right? Was Estelle on the lower end of a problematic age gap? Where’s that trauma plot, huh? I guess that explains why she doesn’t spend much time hanging out with Iris and Zak socially, though I guess the fact they were present for probably the most embarrassing evening she’s ever had might have something to do with it.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/11/24
I just want to remind you that Mud Mountain Murphy didn’t actually shit himself onstage at Lou’s establishment; he merely pretended to do so, so he could promote himself from opening act to headliner. But his simulated act of defecation was so lifelike that Lou vividly remembers Mud “making a mess.” That’s the quality of performer you want if you’re in the entertainment business, honestly.
Dick Tracy, 10/11/24
Imagine if you were sick with worry and guilt about your beloved brother, and you burst into a scene where he lies dead on the ground, and the first reaction from one of the cops there is to cartoonishly pantomime disgust at your B.O.? I honestly am really enjoying this new “Sam Catchem is a monstrous asshole” characterization.
The Phantom, 10/11/24
In other news, not-Elon Musk‘s robot rover has decided to commit suicide rather than listen to more ponderous lecturing from the Phantom. Most relatable thing it’s done, honestly!
92 replies to “Soapy Thursday (JUST KIDDING IT’S FRIDAY I KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS HAHA)”
RMMD:
“Listen, if it makes ya feel better, Lou, Mud and I ain’t doin’ any cowbell at tonight’s performance!”
“That’s great, Truck, but why aren’t you using one with any of your set list?”
” ‘Cause Mud and I are fixin’ to win this year’s ‘No-Bell‘ Prize!”
MW:
“Our plan to travel together to some exotic locale went Bali up. So to speak.”
Phantom:
” ‘Twas in the darkest depths of Mortar/I met a girl so fai-air.’ Man, I can’t get that Zep tune out of my head! — go figure.”
I don’t deny stress is a big factor, but maybe consider that heart attacks are also caused by diet. What food were you preparing for him, Estelle? Was you cooking ACAB?
“Take a minute, breathe! At least you can, because I sure cannot because of you body odour!”
“I’ll believe it when I see it”? The real test is whether you’ll smell it!
DT: I’m trying to figure out how Sam “cartoonishly pantomiming disgust at your B.O.” will be the crucial clue to solving the case, but my extensive reading of Slylock Fox, Encyclopedia Brown, and Minute Mysteries is failing me. If only the guy had run in with an icicle in one hand and $1.19 in change in the other…
Actually, Estelle’s husband died due a combination of sex with a prostitute and fentanyl, but his brothers convinced a sympathetic coroner to write in “overextension and overworking”
I know a retired cop who worked as much overtime as possible in his last few years as it jacked up his average earnings when calculating his pension. Very heroic.
MW: When we first met Estelle, she was the same age as now (canonically 60) and Mary’s “recently widowed neighbor.” In fact, it sounds like it was recent enough that Mary probably knew Jimmy herself, as there’s no reference to Estelle being a new resident at Charterstone. There’s also no indication that Jimmy was significantly younger than Estelle. So why was this hyper-dedicated officer still doing entry-level beat work in his late 50s? I know Karen Moy has basically a kindergartener’s notion of how various professions work (“Da puhweesman dwives da puhweescaw!”), but hasn’t she seen enough pulp media and buddy cop movies to know that Jimmy should have at least been the grizzled lieutenant yelling at the younger loose cannons to hand over their badges and chugging bottle after bottle of Pepto-Bismol to cope with the higher-ranking officials breathing down his neck?
RMMD: If anyone’s forgotten Mud and Truck’s history at Lou’s Nite spot, it’s Terry Beatty. This is just straight-up gaslighting otherwise.
JP: Neddy definitely used that “Um…” to buy time to think of a smarter-sounding way to say her fiancé does “money stuff.”
Luann: …Are you freaking kidding me? The shocking thing that Bets overheard Les saying was “She’s really hot at work lately?” That doesn’t indicate a goddamned thing! Les could have specifically stated that Tiffany or Nancy seemed more attractive lately and it wouldn’t have implied any kind of actual amorous interest or “crush.” This is the kind of “Tee hee, Timmy said Cindy is pretty, so he wants to marry her, tee hee!” silliness that a first grader would say as a teasing joke. Greg and Karen Evans have literal toddlers’ perspectives on romantic relationships. And don’t even get me started on how Tiffany is putting Les on trial for something he allegedly mumbled in confidence to a cat.
“Jay! Where’s Jay?!?!” TFW Hamilton and Madison feel they are doing all the work for the Federalist Papers
RMMD: It would be great if Lou gave in and Mud came back, reverted to his bad old ways, wreaked havoc and walked away chortling maniacally.
GT: Oh, no! Now Coach Thorp isn’t going to make it!
MW: Ed isn’t likely to change at this point in his life, but is Estelle a person who learns from her mistakes? Reconciliation, resentment, repeat.
“Either way — Man or Machine — you must have learned that much by now.” The Phantom wants to stress that while he’s fighting a robot, he’s not a Luddite, so he’s open to the concept of machine learning
MW There’s something about this story that doesn’t ring true, in that I cannot believe that this is Mary’s first time hearing it. Surely she would have pried it out of Estelle within days, maybe hours, of her arrival at Charterstone.
RMMD I like how these two seem to be doing some kind of finger kung-fu, like they’re recreating The Matrix with hand puppets.
RMMD: “How about if Mud wears an adult diaper on stage?”
“Well,..okay.”
MT – If you’re going to write these convoluted shaggy dog stories for the sake of a lame-ass self referential callback, bring in Andy so we have an actual shaggy dog to look at!
Marcus is sweating so much, that almost qualifies him for “abnormal trait bad guy” status. Maybe his name should be Hy Drosis?
@pugfuggly:
RMMD … like they’re recreating The Matrix with hand puppets.
That would be silly. They’re recreating the night in question using shadow puppets. “I’m going to have to put on a mitten to do Mud.” Says Truck.
FC: DEAR GOD THAT IS HIDEOUS!!
Ph – No, it’s killing itself because it caught wind of what Mollusc has done with Y (formerly Shitter) and can’t handle the shame.
Mary Worth : “of course, he might have lived longer if he hadn’t had to constantly clean up the messes of another cop, ‘Heath Bellend’ or something like that.”
JP: “Let me put it to you this way…. in the Before Times, before Ces, at this point of our conversation, you would be giving me bundles of money.”
FC: If you’re wondering why cherubs disappeared from religious art, look no further.
MW: “After a few weeks of marriage, Jimmy just never seemed to want to spend time with me. I used to make these adorable little animal masks for him to wear around the house, but he always found some excuse not to be home. What’s wrong with these men, Mary?”
CS: “I hope you didn’t hear my knees knocking, Ed.”
“Nah. I hope you didn’t smell my . . . eh, never mind. I’ve got to go home and change.”
DT: Imagine being comforted by Dick Tracy, with his hand gently clutching your shoulder. And all the while he’s got his eyes squinched shut, like he can’t bear to look at you. The awkwardness of this situation would probably make me forget what I was initially upset about. “So, like, anyway… do you have a Kleenex, because my face is really sweaty. Sorry if it’s grossing you out.”
RMMD: Well, to see it you’d have to let him into your establishment, Lou.
Dustin: That’s not embarrassing. To the contrary, the other guy is just being a self-absorbed jerk. This is one of the rarest of times when DustDad isn’t the a-hole here.
H&L: Congratulations to Hi and Lois! Today marks
4,9995,000 straight days without a joke!GT: Apparently, the Milford players have to earn their jersey numbers on the field, not just be given numbers like some namby-pamby schools do.
@pugfuggly:
Oh, Mary’s heard this story before. Sometimes she gets her fix of emotional vampirism by making residents repeat their traumatic pasts to her.
MW – Part of Jimmy’s “going above and beyond” included (squints) guarding a fireworks display? “Why, I will certainly ensure that only licensed, certified pyrotechnicians are employed by this company! And that all observers maintain the minimum required distance! And I will do so in a cop car straight out of 1974, for some reason.”
I try and contribute but many times my non controversial and relevant posts get removed for reasons unknown to me. I’m not in the club perhaps.
MW: Estelle has daddy issues…who’d have thunk it.
RMMD: Misremembering what Mud did on stage is a great example of the Mandela Effect. Hmmm…the Mandela Effect and poop. Too highbrow for Marvin?
MW: At first I thought Jimmy was a limo chauffeur, and I was having a hard time figuring out what was so stressful.
RMMD: Lou is the most sheltered club owner in the history of entertainment if Mud’s mild stunt has left him this bitter.
Dustin: A joke about thinking someone on a cellphone is talking to you? Apparently this strip is set in 1992.
@Hibbleton:
@Scott:
I was curious, so I looked up today’s Family Circus and OH MY GOD!!!
I know I asked in the past why Brooke McEldowney hasn’t been arrested for creepy drawings/scenarios involving minors. But now I ask the same for Jeff Keane.
jroggs, that “introduction to Estelle” strip is really telling. Estelle immediately starts gushing about personal stuff to the neighbor she’s just met: “I still miss Jimmy a lot, but I’m getting by.” And Mary responds with (damn this is funny!) “Say, do you like cats?” Which seems like a hilarious non-sequitur until we remember that Mary’s looking to get rid of her cat because of Jeff’s allergy and she’s immediately seizing on Estelle’s pain and loneliness by attempting to dump her cat on this poor lady. Which she successfully did.
So, maybe Mary really hasn’t heard this story before, since she passed up a golden opportunity to hear it and vampirically bask in another’s misery in order to fulfill her more pressing immediate needs. Of course, Mary could have pried it out of her over the years since. Either way, Mary’s a horrible human being.
RMMD: I can personally relate to, and feel sympathy for, someone like Lou who tries to cover his bald scalp with a comb-over. I do have trouble, however, in sympathizing with Lou’s attitude of “Oh, what the heck. Three-quarters of the way across is good enough.” Buy a toupee, Lou.
Now I’m wondering if Mud didn’t sneak in some… evidence, let’s call it, that they couldn’t show on the comics page… to make his story more believable. What a shitty thing to do, Mud!
DT: I mean of course the guy’s ripe, look at him. The Olympic marathon didn’t produce that much sweat.
MW: Surely a cop of Jimmy’s seniority had enough pull to get easy jobs like manning a school zone speed trap, or escorting parades and funeral processions. This can only mean he was avoiding going home to Estelle, and hoping the job would take him out before he was required to be home with her all the time. After the past few weeks, I sympathize.
Phantom: This is completely beside the point, but how is the Phantom wearing that Bluetooth with his hood? Does he have a little hole in the fabric for his ear, or is the device sewn into the costume?
@Doug:
Yes, it’s a shame that he isn’t as articulate as your idol, the delusional psychopath narcissist.
Mary Worth – Jimmy was maximizing his hours due to a rich police union contract that based pension benefits on amount earned in the few years prior to retirement, overtime included/
Jimmy’s plan was to work in California where the pay and pensions are high, then skip over to “Little Orange County” Idaho, where cops take their California taxpayer funded salary and live in a low tax state, only to discover the locals think they are the annoying liberals and complain they make more in retirement than working local public servants.
I would be interested in seeing Mary Worth make a visit there and step into that morass.
Rex Morgan, M.D. – Mud may be a great performer that gave Lou here PTSD and the belief of events that never actually happened, but even if you can prove that too him, the legend is out there. Mud may be reformed, but the hardcore fans that love him for his reputation of being the GG Allin of roots country aren’t the sort of clientele Lou wants in his venue.
Dick Tracy – Sam Catchem used to wear green and now wear the weird orange. Maybe the suit color indicates what sort of mood and personality we will find him in any given storyline
The Phantom – Long running strips like The Phantom with convoluted histories and overly long storylines actually make the case for disruptive AI to fix longstanding inefficiencies in the entertainment industry
MW: One last job …
@We’ll see:
I try and contribute but many times my non controversial and relevant posts get removed for reasons unknown to me. I’m not in the club perhaps
My Hagar comment was removed today for reasons unknown. I don’t take it personally. I used to run the comments section of a website and the spam filters are far from perfect.
Mary Worth: The 1979 Dodge St. Regis gives us a clear timeline: Jimmy retired no later than 1985, and Estelle’s been confusing her treasured memories with TJ Hooker reruns again.
MW-If you can call get shot in the chest a fatal heart attack.
FC-Love Isn’t…
RMMD-“Do you know how many Plumber Widows Mud created?”
RMMD-“But it won’t be here because Mud is banned from here.”
Ok, so Estelle’s husband had a fatal heart attack on the job, but crucially, she doesn’t say what that actually entails. Sure, we see him driving through hyperspace in panel 1, but that doesn’t mean that’s what he was doing at the time. What I’m saying is we can’t rule out the idea that ol’ Jimmy went out like Elvis- on the toilet, which I assume is how Mud Murphy will also ultimately die.
Ահ, ես ուրախ եմ տեսնել իմ փառահեղ էթնիկ ժառանգության ներկայացումը կոմիքսների էջերում: Լու, Հայաստանը ցանկանում է ողջունել քեզ վերադարձին:
6C: Whenever I start to lose hope, I remember that I don’t have to read Six Chix, and I know we’re all gonna be okay.
@????????? ????????? ???? ????????: Spam-bot alert.
MW: I like the extra-large globe-shaped flashing lights attached to the side Santa Royale police cars. You get pulled over by one of them, you stay pulled over.
DT: Sam is a furry.
Ռուսական հիմար մեկնաբանությունների համակարգ. Դա ես էի, Լավագույն ավտոտնակի դուռ Երևանում.
C’shaft: Ugh, no, Lillian, Crankshaft is NOT your friend! He’s not even the bitter rival who you respect deep down and will unite with against a common enemy. He is the terrible public nuisance next door and you are the lonely, decrepit hag who has nothing better to do than to butt into everyone’s business, start acting like it!
Dustin: Dustdad’s first mistake is assuming anyone would want to talk with him, ever.
GT: Damn, Coach Luke has really been emasculated if he can’t even break out the grawlixes for this one.
JP: “An even more blunt question: Are you dumber than a bag of hammers? No, you know what, we already know the answer to that.”
Luann: So, all this has been leading up to a “Nancy is going through menopause” arc? You know what, I’m not even going to complain; that’s probably the best possible outcome of all this.
MT: “Actually, Mark, I had a stash of trail bars I’ve been rationing. Not all of us are freaks like you.”
Pluggers: You’re a Plugger if you think even TV Guide is doing “The Inside Scoop on Vanna White” articles anymore.
MW – I’m going to go ahead and say it – “dead puppy” stress is a little different than “I might get shot today ” stress. Unless you’re a Puppy Cop – and then it’s exactly the same. Quick, someone call Kyle Vidpa – I have an amazing idea!!!
Luann: Haha, the joke is that Les finds neither Tiffany nor Nancy fuckable, but on the upside Nancy is in perimenopause.
GT: Nameless, faceless, numberless garbage.
Երևան դարձած իմ Էրեբունին,
Դու մեր նոր Դվին ես, մեր նոր Անին,
Ավտոտնակի դռները բացվում են ձեզ համար,
Մեր մեքենաները փողոց դուրս բերելու կարոտ.
FC: Streaking went out of style half a century ago! Or do you STILL listen to Ray Stevens’ music??
MW – “He was doing his typical crazy schedule, logging extra hours, fleeing from alien spacecraft in a wild car chase…”
RMMD – “Spider-Man is a menace! I mean, Mud Mountain is a menace!”
“Hey, cut the guy some slack. He was bitten by a radioactive mud.”
Don Abundio, translated:
[Sign: ZOO]
“What’s the problem, sir?”
“My car broke down and I need it as a status symbol”
“Quite a predicament! Maybe I can help you”
“Thanks! Now my ride can look down on everyone”
MW – He died at the Krispy Kreme – the manager cried like a baby at the funeral….
RMMD – It’s impolite to point – talk to the hand….
DT – Save my IPhone 16 – I don’t get the protection plan – arrrggg….
Phantom – Is that a Bluetooth headset? Boy – he keeps up with the times….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@Lord Flatulence:
Not spam; HTML parser fail.
I’ve got doors that jingle jingle jingle
As I run right in the murder scene
I’ve got pits that stankle stankle stankle
Offending the cops turnin’ them green
I’ve got a bro that bleedles bleedles bleedles
From the hole that’s right between his eyes
I’ve got guilt that’s heavy heavy heavy
‘Cause I should have been the one that died.
– The Ballad of Marcus (author unknown)
Pluggers – Is TV Guide still around? Does it carry listings for the hundreds of channels available now?
It isn’t necessary. Once upon a time viewers could look in a magazine for something to watch, but now it’s much more pleasant for any other family members when the person with the remote endlessly scrolls through the guide on the TV.
FC – An age seven does not prepare his own bath, especially with today’s helicopter parents. Thel must be sloshed again.
Mary Worth: Moy hurriedly clacks away at her keyboard, realizing that she made Estelle look like a total asshole and must now give her a tragic backstory to justify it.
Rex Morgan: Speaking of, note how whenever the characters in Rex Morgan go on one of their bizarre hateful rants about Mud Murphy, they never actually describe what he did to anger them so. It’s like Beatty has realized absolutely nobody in real life would give a shit about Mud’s “crime” that harmed or inconvenienced precisely zero people, so he desperately avoids mentioning it directly in hopes people will forget what it was and imagine some actual dickish behavior from him.
Dick Tracy: Every time that a guest artist comes on, they blow the usual art out of the water. Why can’t these guys draw this comic all the time? Anyways, Sam is turning into a real cheeky bastard. Unfortunately for him fun is not allowed in Neo-Chicago’s police force and Dick will probably be putting him in The Box for it when they get back to the precinct.
Professor Well Actually service ticket:
Your comments the last few days were getting autospammed; I don’t know why. I went in and unspammed them all, which should improve your reputation with the modbot. You might try posting using a formally correct or blank email address. If that doesn’t work, drop me a line at uncle.lumpy@comcast.net.
Mary Worth. In California, a police officer can retire at 50 with full benefits. Therefore, Estelle could easily be ten years past her husband’s death and still be only in her late fifties or early sixties. Oh, god… I just found something factually and legally accurate in Mary Worth. I…I… think I need to lie down now.
@Bob Tice:
I can’t decide if a Rex Morgan, MD crossover with Barney Google & Snuffy Smith is incredibly lazy or a stroke of surreal genius.
Now it’s time to slap my knees to make sure the folks in the back row knows it’s funny.
“I’m so sorry, Stell… but work didn’t kill Jimmy. Thirty plus years of fast food and cheap beer did him in. All this time, you’ve been angry with Ed when you should be plotting your revenge against Ronald McDonald.”
@We’ll see service ticket:
Definitely not that; all are welcome.
I can’t find your posts in either the “pending moderation” or the spam queues, so I suspect the problem is either a) somehow clicking “post comment” isn’t working; maybe try a different browser (I know, I know: “try a different browser” is the “reboot your computer” of the Internet), or b) something really weird, in which case please email me or Josh.
love is... auctioning off your mate.
MW: “I’m so sorry, Stell…maybe he shouldn’t have eaten so many donuts.”
RMMD: “Mud’s a changed man. He goes by Fergus these days.”
MW: It appears Sid negotiated a 4-day work week for Pierre, but not Libby. Maybe it’s a work visa thing.
@Bob Tice: You bring up Mordor, and Sauron enters the comments at 46, 50, and 55!
(JK, Tolkein knows that’s not Orc script)
The Ghost Who Narrates — Has the Phantom always sported that in-ear phone piece?
RMMD — “But if he’s banned from the club you’ll never see it! That’s one of those Catch 18 thingies, isn’t it?”
MW – “Maybe I should go back to Wilbur. He’s a complete asshole, but at least he’s not a workaholic. Tradeoffs, amiright?”
“He also was overextended and overworked! And then, one fateful night, he went missing. The found his car, lights and siren still on, but he was never seen again. His last radio message was about the ‘orbs,’ that he was being chased by a bunch of bright orbs. I’ll never forget his last words: ‘my god, they’re pulling me up into the sky!’ he said, ‘I love you Stell!’ And then nothing. Some men in black came by my house with his retirement pay – a lot of money – and told me not to talk about it ever again. The coroner wrote it up as ‘accidental mishap’ and they buried his hat in lieu of a body. I’ll miss that hat.”
MW – Estelle’s backstory also explains her long involvement with Wilbur, who she could be sure wouldn’t work himself to death.
@Hibbleton: Well they do have a nice blank salmon-tented wall to display it on…
@Lauralot: Yeah, the recordings are alright but there’s nothing like seeing it again live!
MW — It would make more sense fro Estelle to have an aversion to doughnuts–perhaps even a muffin could trigger a psychotic break (crosses fingers)
Ooh, look at Mister Smartypants Phantom, doing the quadratic function in his head to calculate the parabolic arc of a mortar shell. Me, I’d spend my time getting out of the blast radius instead of working the polynomial, but I guess that’s why I don’t wear the purple skin-tight suit of justice.
Frazz: It’s too late for you to course correct now, Frazz. You’ve already encouraged him to be an asshole.
Luann: This story line would have been rejected in the Three’s Company writer’s room as too stupid to get air time. First of all, it presupposes that Les would talk to his cat about Nancy having hot flashes.
CS: Meanwhile, Les is sleeping soundly and dreaming about his next unearned Best Actress Oscar.
9CL: Bleh.
@taig:
Re: Luann—and we spent weeks establishing that Les talks to his cat, just so we could have this “payoff.”
Zits: Oh no! Jeremy is going to suffer the worst punishment: hearing stories of his parents’ debauched days!
FC: Love is…shoveling it in.
Dick Tracy. Sam has spent the last 80 or so years happily hanging out with a guy who smells so bad his name is literally “B.O. Plenty” and he thinks Marcus smells bad. Normally, a Dick Tracy villain dies via gruesome and poetic method so I assume we should looking forward to death by falling into a vat of Old Spice.
Phantom: RUN, PHANTOM – RUN, RUN, RUN LIKE YOU’VE NEVER RUN BEFORE! Run just like the Meredith Vickers character from “Alien:Prometheus” when the huge crescent-shaped alien craft was rolling down the road and she just kept running and running in a straight line instead of leaping away at a right angle to avoid being crushed…
oh…wait…was Avarice aiming that mortar at *itself*??? OMG…
@Bob Tice: #1
no…no…no…NO NO NO!!!
@Bob Tice: #2
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
@15 Hibbleton:
…but only if YOU change him.”
AAGGGHHHH: Creepy comic of the day.
FC: Oh dear Lord…Baja, please put a Speedo on this little horror…
Blondie Spanish to English.
@Philip:
I think it means he’s converted from Catholic/Nationalist Jewish Leprechaun to Protestant/Unionist Jewish Leprechaun.
@The Rambling Otter: #34
“I know I asked in the past why Brooke McEldowney hasn’t been arrested for creepy drawings/scenarios involving minors. But now I ask the same for Jeff Keane.”
Perhaps because few people are offended by Edenic images of cute innocent children…whereas McEldowney’s abominations are hideous narcissistic nymphomaniacs but nevertheless protected under “freedom of expression.”