Thanksgiving quickies
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Hagar the Horrible, 11/28/24
What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? Personally, I’m thankful to learn that, in the Hagarverse, the imported Near Eastern triune God coexists with even more ancient pagan deities. I just think it’s neat!
Hi and Lois, 11/28/24
I’m also thankful that nobody at my Thanksgiving dinner is going to blurt out “Hey, you know what would be cool? If you could go back in time and murder and eat a pilgrim. Just slice up their flesh and make sandwiches out of it!” People talk about dreading political arguments with their families but frankly I think this one would be an even bigger downer.
Mary Worth, 11/28/24
I’m not thankful that Mary’s friends remembered to Doordash her some Thanksgiving dinner before they all went out to live their best lives without her. We were so close to finishing her off for good! So close!
143 replies to “Thanksgiving quickies”
Mary Worth Mashups: Two completely different takes on Mary Worth’s Thanksgiving. Which do you like better?
MW:
“This must be from the French Room at the Adolphus Hotel! — you can get anything you want from Dallas’s restaurant!”
MW:
“…and Jeff sent Pumpkin Soup! There she is now! — but where are her bandmates Scary Soup, Sporty Soup, Baby Soup, Ginger Soup and Posh Soup?”
Hi and Lois-Uh, Hi, I don’t think we need to know about sexual kink of having sex while dressed as a Pilgrim.
Hagar the Horrible-“Why did we decide to raid England?”
FC-Billy, you know that you aren’t supposed to bring up your mother’s family.
MW-Mary doesn’t eat the food her friends made and instead gives it to the homeless shelter.
H&L:
“How about a little mood music through the sound system to accompany our holiday repast, Lois? — maybe ‘Meat Is Murder’ by the Smiths?”
DT: And we thought “Seasons change…” was bad. Thanks for telling us that time has passed, text box. No need to be specific, like if it’s that same night or two days and six years later or whatever. Anyway, now that it’s Easter of 2397 CE,
Juniora mysterious person with the same height and build as Junior and wearing Junior’s suit is looking over the technical documents detailing that electrical system Junior was assigned to repair. Who is this enigmatic individual? We may never know, but take close note of that ring. Presumably this indicates this shadowy figure’s association with an evil organization, because people who want to hide their criminal involvements do love their giveaway accessories and adornments, but maybe this particular nefarious cabal could have picked a better symbol than a spider version of the Batman logo.MW: In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I’m going to give Karen Moy the benefit of the doubt and assume that Mary’s merciless and hilarious jabs at Dr. Jeff are deliberate.
Luann: Today’s baffling total character assassination in Luann: Frank DeGroot suddenly has no idea how to carve a turkey despite participating in half a century of Thanksgiving meals and countless other meat-slicing events. I would make a joke about how tomorrow Luann will be sarcastically mocking Bernice’s lazy approach to getting her homework done, but it appears the Evanses have completely forgotten that Bernice lives with the DeGroots now.
MW: “OH, how THOUGHTFUL of everyone!…And Jeff sent pumpkin soup! Let’s see what else! Some saltine crackers, a hair brush, hair gel, moisturizer, wrinkle cream, foundation, lipstick, and neck cream!
MW: There goes my bet in the dead pool.
HtH:
“Why does Brother Olaf always have such a scratchy throat, anyway, Hagar?”
“He’s got tonsuritis!”
MW: I like how Mary’s appearance in the first panel goes from bent, tired, wrinkly and sickly to vibrant, smoothed skin and lively eyes in the second panel. It is the realization that her plan has worked better than she had hoped, and now she can put away the facade! Free food and no annoying neighbors to entertain. Time to binge watch The Golden Girls, stuff her face, and plan her bout with a stomach bug for Christmas.
Missionaries in ninth century Scandinavia applied an innovative technique to convert the heathens: actually showing the power of God. Great tactic, why don’t they do it more often?
“We’ll have leftover for days”?!?! Chip, don’t you have any dignity?! Peter from “Foxtrot” or Jeremy from “Zits” would have sneered at the notion that they could not eat that turkey in one sitting! What’s the point of having a teenage character if you cannot even make the obvious jokes?!
Meanwhile, Thirsty and Irma next door are trying a liquid Thanksgiving dinner. It’s much quicker to prepare and if they pass out they cannot quarrel!
H&L: As is his yearly tradition, Hi struts around like a turkey and “gobbles” out his version of the lesser known Bing Crosby tune A Pilgrim Sandwich which is why the Flagstons have no other family over for dinner.
H&L: Luckily the rest of Hi’s family aren’t familiar with 50s gay slang, so they don’t know what “Gobbling a pilgrim sandwich means” or why Hi is going to sneak out of the house with three buckle hats later.
MW: “How thoughtful of everyone… and Jeff. Jeff can eat shit! Screw you and your pumpkin soup, Jeff!”
H&L: Please, Hi, there are children present! Keep your ribald euphemisms to yourself!
MW: Ah, the time-honored “Ring the Bell and Run Like Hell” Thanksgiving ritual.
FC: HTT Grandma has a jizz towel.
@Schroduck: I was thinking the same thing: Everyone but Jeff was thoughtful.
H&L have turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, and dinner rolls.
This day is all about the excess of food, which will be demonstrated in the bathroom later, as any roughage is only in tiny aromatics among the stuffing.
Evidently the uber-carnivore Hi is responsible for the lack of vegetables. “The only green at this table will be my shirt-and-sweater set!”
Happy Thanksgiving, one and all!
Family Circlejerk – Anyone have Dead Grandpa in the Resurrection Pool?
Mary Worth: Whelp, looks like Mary’s friends went to the minimum possible amount of trouble, and stopped by the local Chinese takeout to get some nice braised tofu and two big servings of rice for her to enjoy for Thanksgiving dinner. Meanwhile, Dr. Jeff picked her up a box of pumpkin soup from Trader Joe’s while he was choosing the right champagne to enjoy with a couple of nurses on his big, fast boat. A happy holiday for all, indeed!
FC – “Me too, Billy. Me too…oh, you said Granddad. I thought you said Old Grand-Dad..”
FC: Pretty cute. PJ points at ghost grandpa and thinks; “He’s right there you idiot!”
H&L:
Hi waited until the family was gathered around the table, until Lois had laid all the food out, the gravy steaming, and Lois enters with the pièce de résistance, a prize turkey with all the fixings. The perfect Thanksgiving dinner, created by Lois after backbreaking hours of work. Hi leaned back in his chair. “Boy, I can’t wait until I’m eating something else.” Leroy Lockhorn has nothing on this man.
MW – Good Lord, Mary has enough food there to feed a small army! Or one Wilbur, who I’m guessing did the ordering.
Hagar the Horrible – The more rational, secular world of the Enlightenment has brought us several wonders of science, but there is something missing when the world seemed to have many competing Gods willing to grant glorious favors, and equally terrible consequences.
Hi and Lois – We find out today that Hi’s family came from a strange branch of Anglicanism that despised the Pilgrim Puritanism, and would enact a ritualistic parody of communion to mock that sect’s struggles in the early colonial era, including the gleeful hope that the Pilgrims would either fall victim to cannibal tribes, or resort to the grim practice as a means to survive the harsh Little Ice Age era winters in New England.
While for the most part ecumenicalism and secular government has brought most Christian sects into harmony, troublesome relics of past bigotry remain in traditions that adherents like Hi have never really looked into the history of.
Mary Worth – Meanwhile, cult leader Mary Worth maintains her grip on the Charterstone
CommuneCondos, receiving offerings from her brainwashed adherents. It’ll take more than a cold to wrest her control.GT: I’m grateful that artist Rachel Merrill took the day off and didnt work too hard on the art. What’s that you say? She phones in in every single day?
MW: I’m grateful that June Bridgman didn’t work too hard on this holiday week. You can almost not tell it’s the same clip art over and over again.
RMMD: Terry Beatty is a modern-day Tolstoy!
RMMD 2: I’ve decided I’m going to write an entire album’s worth of country songs as Truck Tyler.
Crankshaft: Shitty old man ruins another holiday.
Happy Thanksgiving to all American citizens who choose to celebrate it and aren’t restricted in doing so by their governing elders.
I’m not American but today I’m thankful that Ditto noted that it’s a big bird because after the look on Hi’s face at the thought of cannibalism, I can believe that the beloved Muppets of Sesame Street are not off the menu.
Shoe again pushes the envelope of sentient birdness. Is “Peeling the turkey off the wall” a figure of speech because Thomas T. was upset with their political naivety, or did they roast & eat their old buddy?
MW: Just look at that last panel. Suddenly, no more Charterstone Crud. Mary’s scheme has worked to perfection. No weeping Wilbur hurling insults at Ed-stelle, no insufferable Ian sniffing about. Truly a happy Thanksgiving shall be hers.
HL- OK, not to be a killjoy, but Lois hasn’t carved the turkey nor removed the stuffing. Is this a subtle hint that Hi hasn’t done shit today and it’s time for him to do step up?
Mary Worth: Actually, the box of powdered pumpkin soup mix has a Post-It that says “Get Well Soon Toby & Ian,” to which was added with a ball point pen “+ Jeff.” But if Mary finds that comforting, who are we to judge?
MW: “Pumpkin soup! Maybe I should marry him…Nahhh.”
Blondie: In other news, police are still looking for whoever bludgeoned Mr Morelli, to death in his barber shop. Customers say he’d been telling everyone how exited he was to be having lasagna instead of turkey this Thanksgiving.
@Baja Gaijin:
Both mashups are, as always great. Kudos.
Dennis the Menace lords the fact that his grandfather is able to attend Thanksgiving over the Keane Kids who lament he could not be there. Very menacing.
Cookie Bumstead vlogging about vegetarian turkey? It’s a ruse, Dagwood, to keep you from discovering her OnlyFans account.
I think it’s less thoughtful to “surprise” a sick friend with food. Like they had to keep her guessing if she was going to get to eat today or more likely not find the strength to cook for herself, and then deliver food for about ten people due to lack of coordination? Maybe it’s a reflection of how Mary’s manipulative ways have twisted everyone in the neighborhood, and her face in the second panel is genuine happiness at being loved in the only way she really understands.
Can we juxtapose DtM and FC for a full on Schrodinger’s Grampa effect?
Interesting phrasing from Mary. Is she saying “everyone was thoughtful, especially Jeff” or “everyone was thoughtful, except Jeff”? Who said that syntax could not be fun — or at least passive-aggressive!
A Pilgrim sandwich is a sandwich that was banned from England, so it must be good food!
Mary has a bad cold, so she will spend Thanksgiving all alone, gorging on too much food and using Kleenex after Kleenex. Unfortunately, that’s also Wilbur’s Thanksgiving
@Joe Momma:
“Oh, look! Jeff has taken a page out of Dr. Wonderful Ed Harding’s book and has recorded an adaptation of an Eagles love song just for me! I’ll have to give it a listen!”
CLICK
“I like the way your schlocky earrings lay
Against your ski-in so drowned
And I want to bleep at you, in a sweatshirt tonight
With a million snarks all around
‘ ‘Cause I’ve got deceitful, queasy feelin’s
And I know you won’t let me clown
‘Cause I’m already rantin’ on the grounds
“And I found out a long ti-ime ago
What that woman can do to your troll
Aw, but she can’t take you a-anyplace
You don’t already know how to go
“And I got deceitful, queasy feelin’s
And I know you won’t let me clown
‘Cause I’m already rantin’ on the grounds
[bridge]
“I get the feelin’ I’ll abhor you
As a lover and a friend
This voice keeps blisterin’ in my smo-othered jeers
Tells me, I may never see you again
” ‘Cause I got deceitful, queasy feelin’s
And I know you won’t let me clown
‘Cause I’m already rantin’
I’m already rantin’
Yes, I’m a-already rantin’
On the grounds
“Mm mm mm, whoa oh oh oh
[outro]”
You might ask, why Hagar doesn’t have a Thanksgiving theme? But it has! It’s about the unstoppable wave of Christian-Roman-European civilisation based on monotheism, literacy, state formation and complex agriculture arriving in unconquered territories (whether Medieval Scandinavia or Early Modern America) and annihilating the culture and social organisations of the natives! Racism is actually very recent, but cultural imperialism does not distinguish between white Norsemen or Native Americans, it will swallow everything it meets!
@Unca Bob:
The mashups are a perfect way to start the day! Very thankful!
It’s true that Christianity in medieval Scandinavia was greatly encouraged by the cult of Saint Olaf, so kudos for that. But Saint Olaf was not a meek martyr suffering through patience, he was a warrior king and the supposed founder of the Kingdom of Norway. So Olaf should have converted Hagar through the might of his axe and, knowing Hagar, that would have been more persuasive
@Philip: Yeah, I loved it in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, there are beings called Daedric Princes (evil gods.. sort of)
Doing a quest with most, tend to end up having either the protagonist pledge their soul to them, or just outright claiming my soul through force.
So, I would just love to see these beings squabbling over who gets my soul in the end… also to point out that after saving the world at the end of the main plotline, I’m promised a spot in Sovngarde which is pretty much the equivalent to Valhalla.
So yeah…
MW – Mary opens her door to find several bags of groceries and a note from Wilbur. “Hey Mary, since you’re too sick to have people over for Thanksgiving, could you cook this stuff up and I’ll swing by later to get it? You’re a champ. Thanks, W.”
In the old days, you brought burnt offals to the local goddess living near you village, who could grant wisdom and boons but also misfortune and curses. Some sort of ancestral memory still exists in the inhabitants of Charterstone, who thinks it’s better not to offend Mary
JP: GAAAHHH!! The creepy uncanny kids from Gasoline Alley have infected CIApril’s daughter! Run before she bites you!!
MW: It might look like a lot of food, but wait until Mary opens the packages to find everything’s half eaten. The others made the mistake of letting Wilbur make the delivery (he got a little hungry on the way…).
Family Circus: Who’s that kid who’s blowing a stalk of celery?
Hagär the Horrible: Ah yes, Brother Olaf, presumably named for Olaf II of Norway, also known as “Olaf the Fat” and St. Olaf. Remember, kiddies: if you engage in spreading Christianity through a violent, brutal campaign of national unification and imperial conquest, eventually pissing off your own nobility to the point of their allying with the forces of Cnut the Great to stone-cold murder you in battle, crying Fram, fram, búandmenn! (Forward! Forward! Farmers!) as they go, you too can be venerated in Lutheran tradition a thousand years after your death. Here’s to immortality! Here’s to being name-checked in a Walker-Browne Amalgamated comic strip!
MW: Seems knocking on Mary’s door is akin to knocking on the queen’s bedchamber. You better had been summoned or it’s the tower for you.
Hi and Lois: What’s sadder than a pilgrim sandwich? Sesame Street the day after Big Bird mysteriously disappears, leaving behind only a pile of feathers and a distraught Snuffleupagus.
FC: “Don’t fill up on celery, you little idiot.”
@Bob Tice: He should see St. Blaise about that.
@BigTed:
Chinese takeout was my first thought as well.
Hagar The Horrible: Brother Olaf may be a hater and a gatekeeper, but he’s also God’s favorite prince and the most interesting boy in the world.
Hi And Lois: This strip reeks of the writer having not been invited to a family Thanksgiving dinner in decades and desperately trying to imagine what the conversation at such dinners would be like while having no frame of reference for it.
Baldo: Gracie is quoting an early 20th century Anglo-Canadian doggerel writer. I am shocked, shocked we didn’t get a taste of Pablo Neruda or Federico Garcia Lorca. What is the entire point of this comic strip if not to introduce us ignorant mayonnaise-eating crackers to the glories of Latin art and literature?
Gracie — brown on the outside, white on the inside, sneaky little Mallomar cookie.
H&L: The context implies this is the first time anyone at the table has seen the turkey, meaning Lois has been slaving away all day making dinner in the kitchen while the rest of the family sat around on their fat butts and didn’t lift a finger to help. Sounds about right for the mid-20th century suburban hellscape they’re all trapped in.
MW: Meanwhile Mary’s neighbors did lift a finger, but only enough to pull up the Uber Eats app and order the Thanksgiving special from Black-Eyed Pea. Again, sounds about right.
MW – I was really looking forward to Chinbeard losing his shit over not having dry turkey served to him on a platter
TURKEY POLL: I’ve never had a Thanksgiving dinner in which the uncarved turkey was brought to the table, Norman Rockwell style, but today I see whole turkeys on the dinner tables of Adam @ Home, Brester Rockit, The Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee, Dennis the Menace, Family Circus, Flo and Friends, Gil Thorp, Hi & Lois Judge Parker, JumpStart, Luann, On the Fastrack, Rhymes with Orange, Sally Forth, Scary Gary and The Wizard of Id. Is carving at the table a common practice, or do more people carve in the kitchen and put a platter of sliced turkey on the table, as in today’s Off the Mark and my house?
Today, I am thankful that the actual Don Abundio translation is as good as anything I could’ve come up with. Way to go, Polonio!
“Polonio, you didn’t announce the Admiral”
“I didn’t think it was necessary. He’s your best friend”
“You have to announce everyone who arrives!”
“FINE”
“I present to you, Jorge Lopez and his bill for the milk”
MW: So everybody kicked in five bucks and a coupon and ordered what was left of Priceco’s everything-must-go close-out sale. Hope Mary likes hot dogs and beans.
JP: This should be good. Alan’s hogged an entire bottle for himself.
FC: HTT Granma kicks Billy in the shin and hisses, “Bite your tongue, child.”
GT: OMG, what a horror show!
@Bob Tice: In loving memory of Alice Brock, who passed away this week at the age of 83.
Brock was the real Alice of “Alice’s Restaurant”, written by Arlo Guthrie.
“You can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant (‘ceptin’ Alice.)”
MW: Especially touching is the way that Mary’s “friends” signed the gift card: “Let’s do this every Thanksgiving from now on!”
JP: Aren’t most of these people supposed to be chowing down on prison rations in the Federal Penitentiary?
C’shaft: Crankshaft keeps looking for more ways to make the turkey dry and unpalatable.
(Not that I want to give Tom Batiuk ideas, but has Cranky ever tried deep-frying a bird? Seems like something that would be right up his fire hazard-laden alley…)
Dustin: Dustin’s spending Thanksgiving being mentally enslaved by the weird kid he always hangs out with. Still, beats having dinner with his family.
GT: Norman Rockwell’s Freedom from Coherent Character Design
JP: Faces that just scream “Please, PLEASE let us get through dinner without a violent political argument…”
Luann: “Also I stabbed my abusive husband because no-fault divorce wasn’t an option for my generation. Luckily Dad helped me dispose of the body with a special on ‘long pork’ sausages.”
Phantom: So this story’s going to be about Diana cruelly ruining this poor guy’s shot at national PR just so her husband can continue to play White Savior in Africa. Great.
RMMD: “Look, I don’t want to spend time with you, do I have to draw you a diagram?”
HtH – Why wouldn’t he save the Macy’s parade if it was in his power to do it….
H&L – Is Hi suggesting cannibalism….
MW – What a sacrifice – a biddy-free holiday. Whatever shall we do without the meddling….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
RMMD: Ya know, I’m beginnin’ to get a bad feeling about this Lewton’s Dog gig… yesterday when Ms. Arabella suggested the Dog could be a hero and save Merle in a health crisis, I really got my hopes up for a blockbuster debut! But they haven’t signed anyone up yet, and today almost looks like a breakaway from these two… So help me, if they pull an Edward’s Dog again on me….
Meanwhile, if “anyone” cares, Libby, Pierre, and Odin are enjoying unlimited Turkey Treats in their new home at Ed’s house. And…. Greta and Max are there too! Yes, Ed and Estelle have started a new Thanksgiving Tradition of hosting friends for the occasion. Ed and Saul are smoking a Turkey… and some other stuff… out back while Estelle and Eve are busy in the kitchen. Sheila See will be arriving soon – accompanied by Dr. Jeff! I hear they really hit it off when they met at the wedding. And they even invited Wilbur and Dawn – he’ll be bringing some barbeque sandwiches. Also expected are Ian and Toby, and maybe Iris and Zak if they get back from Piccadee Falls in time.
It’s gonna be the best Thanksgiving EVER! I’ll be closin’ up early so my Intern and I can get there for leftovers….
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV:
The Blessing of the Throats was a feast day fixture of my Catholic schoolboy youth; and, while it is no longer in the same vogue as it was in the ’60s, lots of parishes still do the blessing to this day.
@UncleJeff:
Yep. There was a great obit about her in The New York Times this past week. And that song has come to define Thanksgiving on the airwaves. Sadly, I think that Arlo has decided that his touring days are over.
G. (&#@$@! Thorp – I haven’t watched enough Beavis and Butthead to know which is which, but that guy on the left looks like one of them.
@Bob Tice: See if you can find Arlo’s album “Live in Australia” where he tells the story about losing his place in “Alice” and asking his son/accompanist for the next line, only to hear “Sorry, Dad. I haven’t been listening” and Bruce Springsteen introducing Arlo to that sensational new gadget The Teleprompter.
@1 Baja Gaijin:
Wow, you were busy. Now all you need is Wilbur with a turkey up his ass.
Dennis the Menace Spanish to English.
@Bob Tice: Yep, my staunchly Catholic father-in-law remembered getting the blessing as a schoolkid in the 60s.
@UncleJeff:
I will find it!
@Flipper: I suspect artistic convention. “Thanksgiving=turkey” so you have to show the whole bird.
Nice gag in Zits today. Seasonal, but also “those darn kids!”
@Flipper: According to the New York Times cooking app: “The kitchen is the place to carve the turkey. If you need to show off the whole roasted bird, carry it into the dining room for ooohs and aaahs and then back into the kitchen to carve it and serve. No one needs to see that shit.”
H&L: I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought that “Gobble a Pilgrim Sandwich” sounds like a sex euphemism.
Zits: I’m pretty certain that people who are getting their thanksgiving food items from a food bank don’t actually go on the day of thanksgiving. A frozen turkey takes several days just to defrost.
DtM: Why are Henry and Alice all dressed up formal? Are they trying to impress this one Grampa? Dennis is just wearing his usual overalls and a bib.
Slylock Fox; I guess that buzzard is going to have a happy thanksgiving as he watches with anticipation as this guy is about to kill himself. Is he trying to win the Darwin Awards?
Beetle Bailey: I love the thought of Gen Halftrack doing an offensive Patton impersonation and forcing his subordinates to watch it.
Family Circus: They are being haunted by a ghost! Is this a “The Sixth Sense” situation like the movie with Bruce Willis? Can Billy see Dead People who don’t know they’re dead? Does Jeffy have The Shining?
Hagar – Hagar is another one who wishes Dead Grandpa could be there. Remember how Dead Grandpa controlled the weather? Of course, he only cares about the weather his melonhead grandchildren want and fuck everyone else.
FC – Thel went all out on decorating for Thanksgiving, didn’t she? Thanksgiving dinner hosts usually bring out the festive fall tablecloth*, special holiday dishes, and have a centerpiece of a cornucopia or fall leaves. Thel used a nondescript white tablecloth, and the gloppy food is sitting around in plain white dishes on a table with no centerpiece. In addition to the glop, they had celery and olives and the world’s smallest turkey. What a memorable Thanksgiving.
*It’s only one panel. It’s not like he had to draw a patterned tablecloth more than once.
JP – What a feast! An enormous turkey, a big bowl of mashed potatoes, and a couple dozen rolls.
Katharine must have been sloshed along with Thel, because she went the minimalist route on decorating, too.
Rex Morgan – Okay, who challenged Terry Beatty to create a new couple who are more boring, ugly, and repellent than Truck/Wanda, Buck/his wife whose name I don’t remember, and Tildy/the wrestler?
@64 Flipper: My family always carved the turkey at the table. Everybody got the size and shape of the slice that they wanted. One thing we maybe did different (or was it?) is that the turkey was stuffed with… nothing. We had a big dish of cornbread dressing, but it was served just as a side dish (like the sweet potatoes with the melted marshmallows on top), and not inside the turkey.
Arlo & Janis – I feel the same way when I look at People magazine or watch the Grammys.
Crankshaft – He’ll skip the grill and go right for the flamethrower.
Frazz – What? Frazz didn’t mention that he’s too busy running to watch TV? I can’t believe that he passed up an opportunity to be smug.
@Baja Gaijin: Mashups – I vote for the flaming poo.
@Flipper: Re carving the turkey – We always carved the turkey in the kitchen and took the platter of sliced turkey to the table. In fact, we sometimes cooked the turkey the day before Thanksgiving, cut it up, and reheated it on Thanksgiving.
FC: HTT Grandma is thinking, “Hmph. Such a scrawny-ass little turkey. Did Thel drink up the family grocery money again?”
@seismic-2: I always made the stuffing separately from the turkey. I think it tastes better done inside the bird, but there’s more chance of bacteria.
I remember seeing a TV show in which the mother proudly announced on Thanksgiving morning that she’d stuffed the turkey the night before and refrigerated it so she could just put it in the oven in the morning. I hope the family enjoyed their bout of salmonella.
@ectojazzmage: “The most interesting boy in the world” sounds like the title a Newbery winning novel that would be beloved by children everywhere.
I want to say it feels up Roald Dahl’s alley but really feels more like Beverly Clearly or Gordon Korman, maybe even Louis Sachar.
Featured comment on the GoComics.com website about “Gil Thorp”
“Ok, I’m dropping Thorp. The recent storylines have been disjointed crap for some time now but the new artist is bad, bordering on insult.”
And then 20 comments with nobody defending Henry and Rachel.
Happy Thanksgiving, Team from Everybody at GoComics!
@seismic-2: My niece admitted that she hated Turkey. My sister-in-law was very surprised to hear this. But, I have noticed that every time we have turkey they always gave her the dark meat.
Dark meat is slimy as hell gross. So I can understand.
@I speak Jive: When I was a kid, there was an animated series about Aladdin. One episode, had a child who was a Prince who could control the weather depending on his mood.
When he’s happy its all sunshine and rainbows, when he’s mad, lava floods.
That was a “It’s a Good Life” scenario if I ever saw one.
R.I.P Aladdin the Animated Series, because Disney doesn’t give a fuck.
If Wilbur decided to join Hagar the Horrible for Thanksgiving.
@The Rambling Otter: Actually, I can’t understand why they just wouldn’t upload that show onto Disney+ for no reason.
Which means, that there actually must be a reason. Probably legal issues, I suspect something regarding Jonathan Brandis.
“I believe Brother Olaf also has inter dimensional access to a Xerox™ machine if you ever decide to learn to read, Hagar.”
Happy Thanksgiving, Americans!
H&L: The discussion of leftovers reminds me of something that I’ve always wondered about — I’ve vaguely got the impression from movies and TV that, while Christmas dinner perhaps isn’t as big a deal in the US as it is here, because you’ve got Thanksgiving as your “big meal” holiday, it does, like ours, feature turkey. But that suggests that you’ve barely eaten your last leftover turkey sandwich when, hey, here’s another one to get through! Is this accurate?
OTF: Better answer: “No, because she’s not a turkey! Do you see eating bacon as mammal cannibalism?”
Phantom: I’ll be honest, “Graham Vincent” for (I assume) Graham Norton isn’t as funny as Ian Mollusk.
“Me, telling all the world the story of the Skull and Jaw … except for viewers in Scotland, who’ll be getting a light-hearted documentary about the role of shadowy gun-toting vigilantes in the Scottish Premier League.”
(Trust me, that joke is hilarious if you’re Scottish.)
@Horace Broon: Christmas dinner menus in the US tend to be more varied. Ham and prime rib are popular staples, although turkey is a choice for those who aren’t thoroughly sick of it by mid-December.
@TheDiva: Re: JP: For this family “a violent political argument” means rival international spy and gang factions trying to kill each other (ok, “screaming shrilly and incoherently at each other”, but still….)
It’s been almost 4 months since the last installment of
KidPornPibgorn. Can we assume it’s been abandoned after Brooke realized he could just age the Overlook Twins up to boinking age and get his kicks that way instead?LUANN: So how long are we going to have to suffer the “Manic Pixie Dream Grandmother” plotline?
LUANN (2): What particularly cracks me up is who they had to exclude to make room for a unrelated old woman who taught Luann’s preschool for one semester: Jonah and Shannon (who are technically “family” and since Jonah’s whole schtick is regularly abandoning Shannon for jobs, I guess she’s is burning the house down trying to cook a
turkeyrat-caught-in-a-trap for herself), Bernice (who could be spending time with her own family but since she’s never been shown visiting or interacting with them since she moved in with the DeGroots, I choose to believe they locked her out of the house for a peaceful meal) and TJ (he spending the holiday away at Wacky Supporting Character Camp, I imagine.)H&L: Ditto’s banal comment convinces Trixie and—let’s face it—Chip that the Flagstons are eating a beloved Sesame Street character. Luckily, everyone is cool with it.
MW: From now until the end of time, 2024 will be remembered as the year when Mary Worth signified the warmth and love of the Thanksgiving holiday season with Jeff and Mary’s neighbors chipping in for no contact delivery.
@TheDiva: That makes sense, thanks. Now I think about it, I have heard of “Christmas ham” in some American media (for instance, the only song from Hairspray that I know).
I guess this is the most Mary Worth-style ending to this “storyline” possible, it doesn’t end with an absurd death like we all wanted, and it doesn’t end with something “heartwarming” and sentimental, it just kinda peters out and lands with a thud.
C-Shaft: Looks like it’s another Food Poisoning Thanksgiving at the Crankshaft/Whatever Jeff’s Surname Is household.
DtM/FC: Wow, one towheaded tyke is really rubbing it in the other’s face across the comic strip borders.
Dustin: Dustin’s willpower is about at the level you’d expect it to be, really.
GT: Happy Thanksgiving from Gil Thorp, Barmaid Beth, a recent prison escapee, and an old lady who likes to feel her own biceps while getting drunk.
JP: At T-Day dinner Randy Parker bears the pained non-smile of a man preparing to deny all knowledge of the people he’s sitting with. I get it, Randy. I really do.
Luann: If I were already halfway through shuffling may way off of this mortal coil, I’m not sure you could trust be around the De Groots with a pair of lethally sharp blades in my hand.
Phantom: Diane learns that some skinhead her husband beat up turned his life around and opened a pub. You take your holiday cheer where you find it.
Ziggy: As I’ve said before in semi-defense of Shoe, there’s no inherent reason for birds to be shocked by the thought of eating birds, since we routinely eat mammals. So there must be another reason for the parrot’s appalled reaction. Really glad that we can’t see Ziggy’s lower half.
@97 TheDiva, @102 Horace Broon: The problem with having ham on Christmas is that a lot of people (my family, for instance) consider it traditional to have ham on New Year’s. So they have turkey on Christmas, since it’s better to have two turkeys one month apart than two hams one week apart.
How common (or uncommon) is the custom of dining on January 1 ham? Do other countries have any special New Year’s meal? In particular, since New Year is such a big holiday in Scotland, do they celebrate with a haggis?
@seismic-2:
In particular, since New Year is such a big holiday in Scotland, do they celebrate with a haggis?
Yes, and with lots of Scotch. Lots.
Phantom: Upon hearing news of the Skull and Jaw, Stripeybutt will hightail it to London and emotionally terrorize that publican like he did the postage stamp guy back in Bangalla, just to maintain the mystery of his legendary immortal ghost schtick.
JP:. Ominous. While Judge is acting as if he accepts Anne’s absence, nonetheless they are all sitting on one side of the table, as is the depiction of the Last Supper. And turkey looks to have been beheaded and roasted even as she was on bended knee, pleading for mercy. What doom is in store for this family!
FBoFW:. Such a kick seeing April’s fascination with horses and other animals, knowing she’ll grow up to be a vet out west.
FOOTBALL:. I’m sports adjacent. Is football really deserving of being the centerpiece today in Frazz, JumpStreet, Lola…
MANDRAKE;. YAY! As I predicted, the hypnotic c control wore off with time
@Activist: Re Football: If it’s any comfort, Gearhead Gertie is keeping her eyes on the NASCAR prize, but you knew that.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE!
And special thanks to Baja, Sid, and all the critters who willingly or not gave their lives to enhance our day. Your imaginative contributions add a sparkle to every day.
I gave AI an assignment to produce a picture of “Mary Worth and friends having a traditional Thanksgiving day meal” and it came up with this.
Check out that turkey!
@Sequitur: It was nice of Mary and her undead minions to invite Josh over for their feast of Wilburducken. Save me a forearm!
@Sequitur: That spread is certainly – well, interesting. All of the dishes look like recipes from Mary’s cookbook, The Big Book O’ Glop. Or maybe it was Glop For All Occasions.
@Dr. Larry Erhardt: It looks like Mary is eyeing that forearm and can’t wait to take a big bite out of it. You’ll have to fight her for it.
@112 Dr. Larry Erhardt:
I was hoping someone would pick up on Josh. I didn’t ask AI to do that.
@seismic-2: Ham/Roast pork is appropriate for New Year’s dinner because the pig forges forward, while fowl scratch backward. That’s the folklore I’ve always heard.
We do Hoppin’ John — black-eyed peas and rice — with chopped bacon and ham (plus onion and other aromatics) cooked en casserole. Further folklore: “eat poor on New Year’s, eat rich the rest of the year.” Also a mess of mixed greens — gumbo z’herbes in Creole/Cajun country — because eating greens brings money.
@seismic-2: The traditional New Year’s Day food in my part of PA is pork and sauerkraut, for the reason @Ukulele Ike: gave. The pig forges forward. I always heard that sauerkraut brings good luck and money.
I’m sure that I’ve mentioned my hatred of sauerkraut. Mr. Jive likes it, so we have had it the past few years. A tablespoon or so is the most I can eat.
My main food on New Years Eve is champagne and lots of it.
@Bryan: Could be. Mannequin on the Moon has gone a similar span without updating but in that case I’m pretty sure Boothby and Guerra have abandoned GoComics to post new comics directly on their Patreon. Can’t see any evidence of Brooke doing the same.
I’m convinced that Mary Worth is interpreting this simple gesture of kindness from her friends as a passive aggressive jab at her insistence on cooking for them.
“See?!”, they say in her mind, “Everything you do for us is easily replaced by an app! We don’t need you!”, when in actuality, she’s the only one who engages in this Machiavellian level of passive-aggressiveness.
Either way, the gears in her head begin to turn as she starts thinking up ways to sabotage their relationships, or make them fall off of cruise ships.
In today’s Hagar The Horrible, Hagar is mere moments away from inventing the “Viking’s Umbrella” – which is to say the severed scalp of a Christian monk, believed to keep rain away from the wearer.
Baja, a Thanksgiving present came for you.
@8 Charterstoned: Did you happen to see the Mary Worth mashups in comment #1? You might feel better.
@64 Flipper: I saw an “Alice” rerun recently in which Mel paraded a perfect turkey to the guests in the diner, then started bringing it back to the kitchen to carve. Hijinks ensued when someone jostled him, causing the hollow plastic turkey to shatter on the floor. Well, hijinks is a bit of an exaggeration; it was more medium-lojinks.
@71 Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: Thanks for the foam rubber turkey carcass for use in the mashup. You might want to dial down on the roasted turkey scent–someone took a couple bites out of it while no one was looking [cough]Wilbur[cough]. You could have a new product line renting out these realistic simulated meats instead of risking your living talent in these situations.
@76 Sequitur: Look closer…
@83 I speak Jive: on Family Circus: Thel stopped putting out centerpieces after Jeffy ate the entire cornucopia, horn-shaped basket and all. She stopped putting out a fancy tablecloth because Billy keeps eating too much and his cranberry sauce-infused projectile vomit kept ruining them. She doesn’t put out fancy dishes anymore because white mushroom cloud haired holier than thou grandma’s constant carping that they’re not as nice as the ones she got in Duz laundry detergent in the 50’s.
@86 I speak Jive: “Flaming Poo” and “Mary Worth’s hallway” seem to go together naturally.
@93 Sequitur: True.
@100 2+2=7: on Luann: I thought Bernice doesn’t go home because her parents like her ne’er do well older brother than her, or she can’t poop over there because someone might hear her dropping the twins in the pool.
@106 Anonymous Scot: You’re not fooling anyone; any true Scot would write “Scottish whisky.”
@110 Activist: Did you like the muffin on Mary’s tombstone?
@111 Sequitur: That turkey’s drawn so badly it could fit in with the Gil Thorp artwork.
@116 I speak Jive: “The traditional New Year’s Day food in my part of PA is pork and sauerkraut, for the reason.” The reason is the massive flatulent aftereffect propels you forward.
I remember it as you don’t have turkey on new years because your luck (or money, I forget) flies out the window.
@Flipper:
#64. TURKEY:. Same with my family, except once at a cousin’s request the whole turkey was placed before him to carve. After five minutes, he gave up and it was carved in kitchen.
Some families place a whole roast decorative bird on table as centerpiece and carve real ones to eat in kitchen.
@Baja Gaijin:
#124. Yes indeed, it went so well with her husband’s stated cause of death. (#1)
@Baja Gaijin: If eating sauerkraut (or beans, for that matter) causes you gastric distress, the best solution is to eat more sauerkraut (beans). They are healthy fodder as well as being delicious.
@Activist: Turkeys are no fun to carve. The joints are difficult to locate (compared to a roast chicken) and there are TENDONS holding the BONES TOGETHER. Which must be sawed through, leaving behind the makings of turkey hash and a fine sheen of sweat on your overheated furrowed brow.
@Baja Gaijin: Goes with the O-bite-uary.
@Baja Gaijin: Principal Skinner: There’s no such thing as Scotstoberfest
Groundskeeper Willie: You used me Skinner! YOU USED ME!!!
@Baja Gaijin: This time, I truly cannot decide. The first is elegantly simple, the second is entertainingly complex. Okay, if you insist, I pick #2. Because of the genius Aldo gravestone.
@127 Activist: I’m glad someone noticed the little details.
@128 Ukulele Ike: “…the best solution is to eat more sauerkraut (beans).” Said by someone who’s retired or had worked in an office, not an open office layout.
@129 The Rambling Otter: I’m glad you picked up on that.
@130 The Rambling Otter: I forgot about that. Did you know they based Willie’s speech pattern on how they speak in Glasgow? I didn’t until I passed through the city and heard a few people imitating Willie.
@131 Poteet: It took me a lot of time to figure out who should go in that grave. Thanks for noticing it.
Thanks to all who replied to my turkey poll. Apparently the kitchen is indeed the place for turkey disassembly, despite what the comic strips, TV shows and movies want you to believe. As @Guy Nerdlinger said, the turkey on the table is probably just a quick way for artists to show its Thanksgiving, no matter how little sense it makes. I hope everybody had a lovely Thanksgiving; or for those outside the U.S., a lovely Thursday.
I believe a “Thanksgiving Quickie” in comics parlance is when Edda offers to ‘baste your drumstick’ onstage between Beethoven’s Fifth and Sixth movements.
@Sequitur: WOW.
That may haunt my dreams for a couple of nights. Also it does not increase my confidence in AI in regard to doing anything that actually matters. Also it makes me think of some horrible VOYAGER damaged-holodeck re-imagining of an Adoration of the Magi scene. Or possibly some new very-icky version of THE INVASION OF THE BODY-SNATCHERS.
@Charterstoned: Believe me, I feel your pain. Maybe we should hope for a boating accident. A giant-fireball explosion, to be specific. We don’t want them to endure lengthy suffering, after all.
@Baja Gaijin: #133: Scottish people don’t think too highly of James Doohan’s Scottish accent in Star Trek. It’s a generic Hollywood Scottish accent lacking any local dialectic flavor.
@139 Guillermo el chiclero: They’re lucky “Scottie” was cast as an actual Scot. So many Native Americans and Asians in 60’s TV were Italians.
@Poteet: Yes we do.
H and L:
All the kids have Lois’ hair color, not Hi’s. I wonder if Hi is the real dad.
@141 Bob Tice: And all share Thirsty’s hair color too. The elder son shares the same hairstyle. You do the math.
I found it weird at first that the strip Dustin doesn’t acknowledge Thanksgiving. But then I realized that would require the family happily eating dinner together and enjoying each other’s company, something that would never happen.
Also, I figure the meal would consist of DustinDad eating everything l, similar to this one Family Guy skit: https://youtu.be/jHFTATeWH5g?si=I3YIvy76_cDmvPOx