“Honorable” may be overstating the case
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Beetle Bailey, 2/4/26
Hey! Miss Buxley Wednesday is an honorable tradition, and it was specifically created so that elderly pervert comic strip fans could regularly get hornt up about a crude drawing of a sexy lady in a little black dress! It’s not for insulting Miss Buxley as a bad worker, and then not even showing her in the strip so people can get horny over her. This is disrespectful to Miss Buxley. I mean, doing it the other way is too, I suppose, but this way is disrespectful to the perverts too, and like it or not they keep the comics in business.
Mary Worth, 2/4/26
It’s hard to imagine a meal getting funnier after one of the participants says “Toby, I’m glad Ian finally found peace with your bird,” but then — wham! The waiter shows up with a huge salad and a big slice of pie, apparently to be eaten by two different people at the same time.
Marvin, 2/4/26
Ha ha, it’s funny because soon all of Marvin’s body parts will freeze in the bitter cold, and then eventually his unpleasant parents, who are nowhere to be seen, will be charged with criminal negligence. That’s what we in the Marvin-hating community call a “win-win”!
150 replies to ““Honorable” may be overstating the case”
It did kick in!
MW He could only shout and grumble! And see things his way! Why it took so long for him to appreciate the sweet, sweet scent of parrot guano all over the apartment’s torn-up things, I can’t understand!
Phantom Knocked-out, awake – make up your minds about how you want Chuma’s flunky, folks. But I wouldn’t expect any reasonable answers after the brain injury you gave him to make him unconscious.
DT Was that gifted watch part of the original gathering in the bar? Are we actually supposed to keep track of this nonsense that far back?
MW: So, bottom line; Ian is such a pompous axx that he came perilously close to being cuckolded by a bird.
RMMD: It’s counterindicated to indulge in apoplectic outbursts right after surgery. Rex is going to pop something.
Mary Worth:
“When Ian tossed the caber at Sunny in a fit of anger, turning our unit into a shambles, why, that was practically the last straw!”
“Toby, I’m glad Ian eventually found peace with your bird,”
Mary knows far far too much about Toby and Ian’s sex life. And now, so do we.
Mary Worth:
“Toby, I’m already three sheets in the wind! — but you could never tell that by looking at my eyes, could you….”
Here I’ve been looking for just the right OnlyFans name — Boomer apparently carries some bad generational juju — and there was Hornt just sitting there waiting for me
Mary Worth:
“Hey, lady — you on the right. You had the ‘3.1416’ dessert, right?”
“The ‘3.1416’ dessert???”
” A slice of ‘pi‘ !”
I wanted to divorce my husband because he didn’t like my bird. AITA?
Marvin refuses to shit himself to get a little warmer. Shitting yourself is not a means to an end, it’s an end in itself!
Beetle Bailey:
“She also claims that she picked up something from you!”
MW: It would be funny if Ian changes his mind, kills and cooks Sunny and serves him with a side of peas.
MW – “And since Ian doesn’t speak Spanish, it doesn’t bother him when the birds call him an “imbécil pomposo’!”
MW:
Across town, Ian and Wilbur discuss recent events at a diner as the waitress arrives with a plate of haggis for Ian and a slice of mayonnaise pie for Wilbur.
Wilbur’s eyes, alight and slightly askew with anticipation, eventually focus on Ian as he addresses the topic at hand. “Ian, I’m glad you decided to keep the parrots and make peace with your wife, Toby. Birds are good. Not as good as goldfish, but they’re okay. And Toby is pretty hot for a woman in her late forties. Not as hot as Iris or Stell, but she’s okay. You’re probably lucky to have her, even if she’s a little ditzy.”
Ian smiled as he lifted a mouthful of steaming haggis. “Oh, yes…half the time, I have no idea what she’s talking about, but as long as she’s not nagging me about something, she’s tolerable enough. To be honest, there have been times when I didn’t want to be around her. I guess that’s why I’m having lunch with YOU today.”
Wilbur wiped a dab of mayonnaise from his lips with the collar of his maroon polo shirt. “I’ve been wondering how you two were getting along, what with all the shouting like ‘What’s this shit??’ and ‘Eres tu!’ Frankly, I didn’t know you two could sing, and in Spanish, no less! What say we make it a threesome and go to the Star lounge tonight for some karaoke?”
“I’ll have to check with Sunny and Rosie–they decide what we’re doing and when. Also, they’re the ones who know Spanish. Toby and I can’t sing in any language, but I’m sure we’d enjoy watching YOU make a fool of yourself.”
Wilbur held up two fingers in the direction of the waitress and nodded at his empty pie plate. “It’s a date, then!”
Phantom:
“Call it sixth sense, but I’m not perceiving this as a window of opportunity,” muses General Chuma.
MW – I wonder if that’s supposed to be quiche or something
“Ian could not see any way but his way!”
“Didn’t you bring a disruptive pet to live in your shared home without asking or even informing him?”
“So what? The problem was that it was his way, but it has to me MY way!”
Phantom:
“Hey, Costumed Crusader! — why didn’t you throw my flunky apparatchik out the window first, instead of leaving it to me to break the glass as I’m flying out???”
“Because people who sit in glass houses shouldn’t throw drones!”
@TomD:
Great question. Now, personally, if I look at a food item and I’m not sure what it is, I don’t eat it. It’s been a winning life strategy for me.
Hey, Queen Elizabeth I cast out Sir Robert Dudley because he didn’t like HER bird. Take my word for it, and do not look it up. I SAID DO NOT LOOK IT UP!
Miss Buxley and Miss Blips are named after their boobs, but it is nice to see that despite their different boob sizes, they band together against the common enemy, i.e. their superior. Truly the army is amazing in building comradeship and unity cohesion!
Toby Toby Toby – now you’ve done it – you let Mary see the crack in your and Ian’s veneer. It is a well-documented fact in pest control that if a rat can fit its head through a hole, its entire body can follow.
Buxley had wondered if keeping pony bottles of Old Crow in her car was being overly cautious, but then today dawned.
“Yes Toby, build on that! Feed any lingering tension between you and your husband, make it a big problem! I have contributed absolutely nothing to this storyline and I need to get my fix of meddling!”
Marvy — In cases like this Marvin, the only thing to do is to gather more data points. How about one hundred additional trials? And maybe take your boots off once or twice as a control. . .
Science is a harsh mistress.
RMMD – “I got the Count’s caddy out there. He suggested I hit a pitching wedge to the center of the green to avoid the water on the right. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have a car, so we’re going to have to walk home.”
MW: Foolish amateur that I am, I’d have said Toby’s thoughts of leaving her husband should come up during their actual conflict, but clearly that’s what the audience would expect. Moy has the restraint to make it a passing comment during Mary’s victory lap, and that’s why she makes the big bucks.
JP: All the characters in this strip are sucking lemons off panel.
Heathcliff: Is Heathcliff a trans tomcat? Discuss.
MW: As I recall, Toby and Mary are eating at someplace called “Patisserie Royale” or some such, so I’m guessing this is a brunch and Mary’s getting a slice of quiche. No mimosas, of course–every month is Dry January with Mary.
Beetle Bailey-“Ms. Buxley is late.” Beetle should have used protection.
MW-“But then I remembered that the only other man around here is Wilbur.”
MW-Toby just took in Sunny and did not get in touch with Ian to tell him about it.
FC-Oh sure. Blame the redheads.
MW-Toby will consume the standard salad that is nothing but wilted lettuce and Mary will have a huge wedge of cheese.
Marvin-The only thing keeping Marvin warm is that warm trickle of feces slowly sliding down the back of his legs.
CS: Wonderful Pluggers/Crankshaft crossover running this week. Tomorrow: Jeff has to find the security code! OMG! LOL!
RMMD: how can someone without testes be so testes?
HtH: What does he have that Lute doesn’t have? A snazzy tam-kilt combo obviously. While Lute plods around in his generic medieval minstrel getup singing (badly) sappy ballads, this guy is bringing a crucial element of ethnic authenticity that provides a sharp and pleasing contrast to his avant-garde noise rock act.
Pluggers: Pluggers are covered in their own mucous and phlegm. But we already knew that.
“Pick up something for the General on your way in. Maybe pick up some basic office decor, too. I dunno, an area rug, some pictures for the walls, a vase with flowers, hell, an American flag, anything to break up the maddening monotony that is this office.”
MW: It’s not pie, it’s quiche with side salad. A totally normal lunch dish that Ian won’t allow Toby to consume in the house, because Ian knows one taste of quiche and there goes his last pretence to heterosexuality.
Beetle Bailey : on the other side of the phone call, Ms Buxley reacts the same way she did in this blast from the past : “I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO GET HIM”
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Family Circus : … that’s a REALLY weird way to phrase “I’M NOT PAYING TO *HEAT* THE OUTDOORS!”, like, I almost thought Bil was saying something to the OPPOSITE when I first read it.
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Marvin : it’s your pee, freezing inside your bladder, you dumb kid.
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Mary Worth : “It was the perfect pretext to finally throw him out of the house! But now that he gets along with Sunny, I lost my opportunity!… Maybe next time…”
“There’ll always be another opportunity for a final parting, Toby.”
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Slylock Fox : WHICH TWO IMAGES ARE THE SAME? Three and Four. In one of the other images, that jack-in-the-box is actually a disguised way to spray Max Mouse with deadly nerve gas. Can you tell which it is?
C’shaft: Nothing makes the little annoyances of life less annoying than watching Tom Batiuk whine about them.
Dustin: I don’t think the writers of Dustin should be throwing stones at men who insist they “have a pretty good understanding of the female psyche.”
FG: That’s not all that’s buzzing. Probably not a good idea to chug five Red Bulls before your diplomatic meeting with a deposed god-emperor.
Luann: Mrs. Fogarty: Gives a detailed expression of a specific pleasure, showing a nuanced understanding of herself and appreciation for life
Luann: Has never given a single thought to what she likes, or indeed anything at all
Tara: Has done enough unusual things that she could say something interesting, but instead uses the opportunity to flirt in the weirdest possible manner
Les: Blunt and unimaginative, but at least it’s something an actual human being might say
…Remind me again which character(s) Clan Evans expects us to relate to?
Pluggers are disgusting in so many ways.
RMMD: Did Rene Belluso kill Aunt Tildy, skin her, and make a mask of her flesh in order to ingratiate himself with the Morgan family?
The problem with Mary Worth is that any time a story appears to be wrapping up, you can’t be sure the next one won’t be about Wilbur. The other issue with Mary Worth is that it’s equally possible this bird story could go another six months.
“I mean, I still don’t want to be around him, which is why I’m here with you.”
Luann: At this point, Luann deserves whatever she gets. She’s had plenty of chances to push back, and chose not to every time. She let her friends pull her away from a long-awaited cuddle session with her current love interest. She let somebody sign her up for a useless ‘Career Paths’ class. She did nothing while the professor displayed her incompetence, violated Luann’s privacy, an openly insulted her. And now she’s just going to sit there, while her supposed friends talk over her. This is going to happen the rest of your life, Luann, until you learn to say the word NO.
Pluggers: I’ll spit on your head for free. Just ask.
CS: “Choose your payment method from almost any credit card. We’re sorry, Ticketmaster does not accept silver age comic books or Montoni’s coupons.”
MW: What @Ettorre said.
Luann: I love how the Evanseses went out of their way to portray Luann as submental today. “I like… uh.. many things.” LOL, shades of a slightly stupider Sara Palin!
Mary Worth: Although I was enjoying Ian’s transition from “grouchy Scot” to “emasculated little bitch,” I WAS wondering why. Toby’s response in panel two tells me everything: she took Ian to the vet and had him spayed. Mary’s demented google-eyes in panel one is also a treat: Mary starts her day with Irish coffee, and then it’s White Claws and cheap chardonnay all the way down.
Crankshit: This week was inspired by Tom Batiuk’s difficulty (and ultimate inability) to figure out how to buy tickets online. It’s really not that difficult (although don’t get me started on apps).
GT: Thank God, another guest artist. I can tell who’s who again.
I don’t read RMMD often enough to know who everyone is. But is it wrong for me to hope that Aunt Tildy just said she’s borrowing Count Dracula’s caddy to drive Rex home in? Can this caddy be a hearse? And can it have a closed coffin in the back? And can the sun go down while Tildy’s driving Rex home, and the coffin then opens somewhere on the highway?
The Familliar Mucus: Bil tells Jeffy that his farting is causing global warming.
RMMD: Rex, if I were you I’d be more worried about the condition of the driver and not the condition of the car.
@brendancalling: Batiuk is so inept, and so hostile to learning anything, that he can’t even describe what the online purchase process is actually like. Yesterday’s multiple choice question made zero sense. Today is begging to be a “nobody takes Discover Card” joke (viz. Futurama, c. 1999). But he bypasses the easy target for something even lazier: Herb & Jamaal-level vagueness. It’s as if he doesn’t want to offend anyone who actually has a less-popular credit card. Like he apparently didn’t want to offend Nigerian people yesterday, by changing a well-known online scam to “Russian hackers” (also c. 1999).
FC: Come summertime we’ll see basically the same cartoon but with Bil yelling, “We’re not air conditioning the outside!”
“Excuse me, I ordered my tap water without lemon. Ian doesn’t like when I have too much sugar.”
On Luann : Luann’s answer to “tell us something you like” is indicative that she took this “Career Paths” class because she has ZERO idea what she wants to do with her life, and wants somebody else to give her the answer.
Like, she could have answered “
Playing dressupActing!” or “Teaching kids!” or “Creative Writing!” or “Taking care of the elderly!”, but all her interests are fleeting, and she’s given up on them because acheiving those goals take time and effort, andshe’s never putting in any of THATPhil has given her the impression she needs to turn her life around NOW.MW- I’m glad Ian found peace with the bird. Too bad that piece wasn’t a fucking drumbstick.
JP: “….and take off that ridiculous rubber nose.”
BF: Huddled Bosses: “Our marketing director got a new job.” “Say, this would be a great opportunity to fire that chunky old blonde loser with the bad shoes we hired by mistake.”
FG: I’m losing confidence in Ming’s Evil Emperor Mastermind bona fides.
1) Your nemesis hangs with a Dragonman, who are all identical. DO NOT hire a Dragonman Imperial Guard.
2) Queen Stormy, with her buzzing clicking electrical muscles, is about to collapse in a pile of mecha junk. Also, weird eyes.
3) “Reign Dogs.” Okay, Schkrade is a Tom Waits fan. Fair enough.
4) Boss Shark Man is a dullard.
5) OTOH, Evil Witch Queen cheesecake for the rest of the week! Thank you!
Mary Worth: This might be the first time I can remember that the comic has actually somewhar acknowledged that Ian is an asshole and his relationship with Toby kinda sucks shit. Leave it to Mary Worth to only admit something like that after it’s been “fixed” by turning their relationship into something even more bizarre and creepy than it originally was.
MW: I’m imagining that Mary is British, so that when she says “I’m glad Ian eventially found peace with your bird,” she’s talking about Toby’s girlfriend.
@Rover Berkeley: Can it be a hearse that Aunt Tildy “picked up” while walking past the mortuary?
(Look up ‘Dull Funeral Home of Baldwin, WI’ for art depicting Tilly’s walk to the hospital)
Beetle Bailey: Gen. Halftrack is fantasizing that when Miss Buxley goes to “pick up something for him,” it means she’ll be stopping at Victoria’s Secret and modeling some sexy items of clothing in the office. What it really means is that she’ll go to the Base Supply Center for a box of pens, because that, even though she’s faking the need for it, would actually be a useful part of her job. Especially since Gen Halftrack is old and was never even issued a computer, so he spends all day waving big pieces of paper around.
Wary Morth:
“There were times I didn’t want to be around him anymore…then I remembered that the only other person in the world I’m acquainted with is you, so my only alternative is to move in with you, and I came to my senses immediately!”
@Banana Jr. 6000:
Right? Isn’t Luann’s presence and behavior here pretty much a perfect depiction that this Fogarty is full of shit? Like, you “helped” make THIS? I’d drop the class then and there, if I’d ever been a big enough dickhead to take a “Career Paths” class.
@Ukulele Ike: Evil Witch Queen cheesecake? Well I suppose, if you’re on a low fat diet and into Philly light. YMMV but it takes more than a scantily clad stick insect to get me “hornt up.”
@Ukulele Ike: Look, Ming was dead; that takes some time to recover from.
DT: Classic “best friend turns out to be the bad guy” trope.
GT: So the last guest artist was good with faces and sports (Jason Margos). The new guest artist is good with cars and figures (Louie Chin). Is this some sort of try-out competition? In between each guest artist we have the listed artist comeback as a palate cleanser to reset the audience’s low expectations?
JP: Ann is really leaning into the “family” card. I hope their squabble wakes up Judge Parker who stumbles down to make peace. Charlotte in the meanwhile has finished her hot chocolate and is now making a nice lunch.
MW: Tobey was unhappy with Ian, but now that she gets her way all the time, life is so much better!
@A Grave Mind: Yeah, Les and Tara should have laugh-snorted at how much bullshit THAT characterization was. As for “Career Paths”, this seems to have been Luann’s own idea after all. January 22: “This semester I’m doing career paths. I wanna find a career for my talent.” The obvious problem of Luann’s “talent” aside, she makes it sound like Career Paths is all she has planned for the entire semester. Which is sadly plausible.
Beetle Bailey – A good tease knows that the sexiest things are what goes on in the mind. The perverted old men who read this get to imagine they are smarter than a brigadier general in the US Army, just as they know that, unlike the other sad sacks in their favorite gentlemen’s club, the stripper that’s less than half their age really does like them.
Mary Worth – Mary is pretty dead-eyed and dry in her delivery. Are we sure she hasn’t been replaced by an AI?
Marvin – Oh no, Marvin is showing signs of early onset Pluggerism.
BB: The “late” Miss Buxley. RIP.
MW: “There were times I didn’t want to be around him anymor.” “Nobody wants to be around Ian, dear. You certainly are slow on the uptake.”
e
Huh. That one letter was stuck under the mouse when I went to shut down my laptop.
Luann (apologies to Rodgers, Hammerstein)
Sprinklers on Gunther, and cute Aaron Hill
Putting on costumes and blue-balling Quill
Ignoring Puddles, Taking this class;
I like many things; I’m a pain in the ass
Working with Weenies on lunch counter duty
Ignoring The Fuse, leaning on inner beauty
Fighting with Brad; loving TJ’s entendre!
Next to Tiffany I am Pittsville’s favorite blonde.
When my Dad puns! When Bernice zings! When I’m feeling bored;
I simply remember I’m the star of this show, and for some reason I’m
adoredtolerated.Beetle – “You’re here! What did you pick up for the General?” “Chlamydia.”
Don Abundio, translated:
“I hear you’re a maid in the big mansion now. Any complaints, Hilda?
“No. Everyone is nice”
“Ah! Except the boss!”
Beetle Bailey-“Miss Buxley is late.” “Sigh. I’ll organize a baby shower.”
@ectojazzmage: I was going to say that having a pair of birds makes more sense than having kids as far as misguided attempts to “fix” a relationships go, because parrots won’t live as long as the time you have to spend raising kids, but I now see that some parrots can live upwards of 60 years, whereas worst (best?)-case scenario with kids is you can emancipate them at 16 and kick them out. Toby and Ian better get busy having kids, is what I’m saying. They surely won’t turn out any more screwed up than Dawn, and in any case, Ian has already been acclimated to being shit on and called a pompous axx on a regular basis, so the terrible twos and teens are practically already behind him, emotionally speaking.
Luann-“Luann. My dog’s breath smells like dog food.”
At this point, Marvin has been left out in the cold enough times that “negligence” no longer fully explains it.
MW: It’s a good thing that Toby is only ever shown to prepare and consume dry salads, as this whole arc I’ve been waiting for Moy to acknowledge that parrots (well, birds in general) have such sensitive respiration that the light fumes from Teflon cookware will actually harm or even kill them. Again, another major lifestyle consideration for having a rare, high maintenance pet that Toby doesn’t consider.
Ah, well; I’m sure if it ever comes to that, the now broken Ian will immediately buy new sets of pans or give up a wide range of his favorite foods instead of daring to question his Psittacine Lords and Saviors.
@Voshkod:
The third day seems the going rate.
Someone please explain to me why the joke in Heathcliff is about a male cat getting a tattoo saying he is going into heat. Is Heathcliff going transgender?
Well, guys at my advanced age are over Miss Buxley, who is clearly unattainable and would be embarrassing to be dating. Jeremy’s mom in Zits, now, there’s a looker, va-va-voom!
@Anonymous: “In Heat” doesn’t make sense as a tattoo for a male cat, but at least he’s in the right species, unlike the male human character who says he wanted (or had) the “In Heat” tattoo before Heathcliff did.
LUANN: “Career counseling”, eh? Given the “challenging, thought provoking” questions Ms Phelps-Fogerty is lobbying toward the class, I say the actual lesson is “softball practice” if ya know what I mean (and if you don’t just know that the most important thing is that Luann still whiffed it when she was up to bat.)
MW: We readers will never find out how Toby and Ian are handling the parrots’ free-flying poo distribution or how T&I are preventing every possession made of paper from being torn to shreds. But at least we are seeing every single word of this deeply-fascinating conversation.
@Banana Jr. 6000: To be fair Luann “deserved what she gets” way before this class was ever even announced. Making us suffer through the last arc is sufficient reason alone.
BEET:E BAILEY: I know right, Josh! That “punchline” should be something that General Halftrack is saying directly to Miss Buxley before she bends over to get something off the floor while he has a “behind-the-scenes” view, if you catch my drift.
@A Grave Mind: The Emperor died for our sins but he is risen – Flash Gordon or Warhammer?
Ha! I’m a late entry on Flash Gordon, wish I’d been with it at least as long as Schkade’s been doing it. From what I understand of Warhammer, I MIGHT be able to get caught up on the mythos by the time I die at this point. And that’s if I quit my job.
BB: What I like about this strip is that it’s aware of mobile phones (unless Miss Buxley hasn’t even left the house yet), but assumes that nobody sitting at a desk would be using a mobile phone to make personal calls they don’t want the brass to know about! Mobile phones are for when you don’t have access to a landline!
DT: Oh, so that’s why the story opened with “Hey everyone, it’s Dick’s first partner who’s never been mentioned before in the entire history of the strip!” Unless … has anyone seen Mr Mirror and Sam Catchem at the same time?
Seriously, it’s not often a twist in a Dick Tracy storyline actually surprises me, but I was so sure we were going the “Seemingly male villain in a blank mask is actually the vampish Mahoney woman” route. Now to see if we’re getting the even rarer feat of a twist in a Dick Tracy storyline surprising me and making sense.
(Hey, maybe they could introduce a Mahoney sister who models herself on the Blank and it’s not a twist. She could be Faceless Mahoney!)
Foxtrot Classic: I’m … pretty sure that computer is and has always been a Mac parody, but I guess the pun doesn’t work with Pages.
JP: Much as I hate all these characters, I have to admit that Ann getting outraged about everything that’s happened while she’s been in prison and Katherine’s responding with snarky rejoinders about how Ann is one of the problems with the family all by herself is … kind of working? I mean, eventually Ces will push it too far, like when he just couldn’t stop villifying Godiva more and more until I actually started feeling sorry for her since everyone hated her so much, but for now, it’s kind of working.
MW: So … we’re just never going to mention that Sunny — seemingly deliberately — destroyed Chinbeard’s most precious possessions ever again, huh? Just like we’re not going to mention that his stiff-necked refusal to compromise began with him coming home and discovering Toby had unilaterally decided they owned a bird now? Dammit, I hate being on the pompous axx’s side, but…
Phantom: If I were writing a strip about a masked white guy imposing vigilante justice on an African country, I’m not sure I’d use a string of Ks as onomatopoeia for anything.
Marvin – Which freezes faster? My guess is the body parts next to the frozen pee in his diaper.
JP – Hell just froze over – Katherine makes a few really good points, especially about how Charlotte is coping with her parents being missing. She should have slapped Ann to emphasize it, but I’ll take it.
Ann had zero contact with her family for years, and suddenly the business with Charlotte is all about her. She’s quickly becoming as toxic as April.
Rex Morgan – Rex is awfully chipper for someone who was just sedated. I get that he’s worried about his son, but he should be a lot woozier after being sedated. Especially since he was supposedly “put under” to numb his eye.
Mary Worth – Ian has been a pompous jackass about everything that goes on, but saying mean things about a parrot is what pushes Toby over the edge?
@Charterstoned: Bravo! I started laughing at “mayonnaise pie.”
@brendancalling: Re Crankshaft – I ordered concert tickets a couple of years ago and found it difficult and traumatic. They kept texting me validation numbers I had to enter. Then when it was time for the concert, the tickets had to be loaded to the wallet on my phone. We had to go to Best Buy for help. It might be easy for you young whippersnappers, but it was hell for me. I guess I am a plugger.
FG: Must be a hassle when the Sklar queen’s reign dogs need to go walkies at the same time.
@Poteet: re MW: Now, now, Ms. Poteet.- you’re thinking way too much about The Details here! All the audience needs to know is that everything is hunky-dory now that Ian has learned a Very Valuable Lesson. No need now for Sunny to react defensively to perceived hostility. And of course the shoe incident was a bit of comic relief to lighten the mood. It was prop poo, made from Splak. I think you’ll agree that Sunny’s acting skills have illustrated how his character has also been on a journey of personal growth and development!
MARY WORTH: “Ian used to shout and grumble and be so condescending. But now I can do things like get this botched Michael Jackson-esque nose job and he doesn’t even say a word. It’s great!”
@2+2=7: It’s obvious to me what Luann really needs: her parents need to cut her off. Luann has a bad case of Failure To Launch Syndrome.
They’re sending her a to a free junior college, presumably because no better school (not even Moonie Uni) was interested. And/or they don’t consider her tuition to be a good use of family resources. She’s been at this school for years, but acts like “Career Paths” class plus four hours a week at Weenie Hut is a full load for a semester. They can’t give her a job at her family restaurant, because she’s proven can’t be trusted with the keys. Even though The Fuze seems tailor-made for her to have a role. At some point, allowing Luann to continue in this pointless, parentally-supported lifestyle isn’t doing anyone any good. My parents paid for my college and young adulthood – for which I am extremely grateful. But they would not have accepted this level of laziness on my part. Nor should they have.
On top of that, all Luann’s friends suck. At best, they’re equally aimless, spoiled, delusional people like Les. At worst, they’re toxic and destructive people like Bernice, and the gang who interrupted her make-out session for no good reason.
I’m surprised the words “global warming” are coming from Bil’s mouth. I would’ve expected Bil & Thel to be more, shall we say, skeptical. Or, perhaps Jeff, the strip’s caretaker, is seeing if anyone is paying attention.
@I speak Jive:
Marvin – Which freezes faster? My guess is the body parts next to the frozen pee in his diaper.
When water changes from a liquid to a solid state it releases heat which in your example protects his reproductive organs. Why do you hate the world?
@Anonymous: Maybe “Going into heat” means that he’s going to boink the hot ham.
Flash Gordon: The Queen of Valkr with her “dogs” is giving me Charles Muntz from “Up” vibes.
@2+2=7: Wait, I recognize that [lack of a] nose! Could it be that we’ve finally found James Allen-era Rusty’s long-lost mother?
BB: I never thought I’d sing the praises of Mort Walker’s art skills, but the way the current cartoonist scribbles Ms Buxley’s curves makes me genuinely happy she’s not in this Wednesday strip for once.
FG: Now look, Queen. I’m emperor and all and I know your reign dogs want to show their loyalty but they really don’t have to sniff my butt. It’s kind of undignified, capisce?
FG: The Sharkmen chief nervously rehearsing his lines in his head reminds me of Luca Brasi in “The Godfather” rehearsing his at the wedding, creeping everyone out around him.
FG: The Sharkmen chief is so nervous when it comes his time to talk to Ming he’ll pull a Ralph Kramden and blank out. Hamenahamenahamena.
Marvin-Marvin’s parents attempt to get rid of him by exposing him to the elements will sadly fail.
@Dr. Pill: I would argue that Bil and Thel, by choosing (?) to reproduce well over replacement rate, are far more contributory to global warming than any particular action of their kids might be.
Or maybe they’re calculating that only two of the four will make it to adulthood? I could buy that.
@Liam: I’d wish the fate of Oedipus on Marvin, but something tells me the that spending the rest of his life being cared for like a baby by his sister-daughter would count as a “Win” to him.
@Banana Jr. 6000: LUANN: And/or they don’t consider her tuition to be a good use of family resources.
This is one area where I agree with Luann’s parents. Can you imagine if she’s been taking these BS classes at university tuition rates? Paying for her to turn her dorm into a pigsty just like her bedroom?
Not wanting to be around Ian? Toby has never been more relatable.
Toby had a bird flying around un-caged, destroying things and likely pooping everywhere. It pains me to my very core to say this, but… Ian was in the right.
Mary Worth:
“To be honest, Mary, there were times I didn’t want to be around him anymore!…
… and that’s why I drink!
Ha! Ha! That’s not the only reason why!
Waiter! This mojito isn’t going to refill itself!”
@Ettorre: Department of Whore
@Guillermo el chiclero: The Sharkman chief nervously reaches for his collar, forgetting he has gills. Hilarity and gore ensue.
RMMD- Fun fact: “Little Jimmy” was the nickname of the fourth US president, James Madison.
BB – Oh…let it be adult incontinence undergarments….
MW – In any contest between Ian and Sunny, my money is gonna be on the bird….
Marvin – I have a lot of sympathy for Marvin. Can you imagine how hard it is to drop a steaming pile on a day like this….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@Tabby Lavalamp: Yeah, the typical story in this strip for years has been “Animals is the bestest, and they can do whatever they want, and if you don’t think animals are the bestest and can do whatever they want, you’re a big poopy head.”
Marvin:
I just saw a story on the news of the parents of a seven year old who were turned into CPS for letting him ride his scooter one block to the park by himself. I’m sure whatever is going on with Marvin out in the freezing cold by himself should lead to his parents receiving a visit shortly and then maybe having their greatest wish granted. Marvin sent to foster care.
Stop complimenting me, or I shall cancel my subscriptions…to GoComics, Comics Kingdom, Mangadex, and, er, the Comics Curmudgeon…
@Bryan: I agree with her parents too. They didn’t see Luann as being worth anything other than a free-tuition education. No college (not even Moonie Uni) saw her as worth accepting, much less a scholarship. And she’s never done anything that would call that assessment into question. After multiple years in junior college, she acts like a “Career Paths” class taught by her career path-less high school guidance counselor, plus four hours a week at Weenie World, constitutes a full load for a semester.
It’s time Luann’s parents cut her off. Pitts Junior College clearly isn’t building towards anything. She can’t work at The Fuze, because she’s already proven she can’t be trusted with the keys. Even though The Fuze should be perfectly suited for Luann to take over a part of the family business. Her friends aren’t of value. They’re fellow aimless Gen Z brats at best (Les, Tara), or toxic frenemies at worst (Bernice, those friends who interrupted her nookie session).
At this point, Luann’s (implied upper middle class at worst) parents should give her a generous amount of financial help to go start her life somewhere else. Because the current course isn’t helping anyone.
@nescio: What kind of wine goes with parrot?
Which Tracy partner is Mr Mirror? Go Go Gomez, Joe Jitzu, Hemlock Holmes, Heap O’Calorie,Waggles Hunnicutt,Eric Cartman? The 1999 New York Jets?
@Anonymous: RMMD- Fun fact: “Little Jimmy” was the nickname of the fourth US president, James Madison.
_________________
…and Dolly Madison used “Little Jimmy” to churn the ice cream.
Late Thread Cuisine: Josh was late this thread and so is this Cuisine. I hope it’s worth the wait.
[Narrator: It wasn’t worth the wait]
@Rube: and if you don’t think animals are the bestest and can do whatever they want, you’re a big poopy head.”
________________
In this case, literally.
@Baja Gaijin:
Ah, the Frankenstein Special.
@Baja Gaijin:
Let’s do the time warp again?
Marvin: Well Marvin, it’s a moot point, as your parents aren’t going to open that door until the coyotes have fed.
MW: The waiter is thinking, “It sounded like the older lady said something about the younger one’s husband and her bird. Must be code for something, but it’s none of my business.”
@Peanut Gallery: Any complaints, Hilda?
__________________________________
The dog keeps bogarting the Helium.
9CL: At first I thought Alistair’s “snugness” was actually “smugness”, and almost keeled over at what seemed like it might be self-awareness.
C-Shaft: How does the site know what card you want to use? Is this just a really boring AI apocalypse?
DT: Howie Noel has really given Liz the Liza Minnelli treatment. If there are any gays in this ‘verse other than Thinly Veiled George Takei we may be hearing wedding bells in the near future.
GT: Keri drives so aggressively you’d think their dad was the mayor instead of a high school athletic director, but that’s Milford for you.
JP: To be fair I suspect a lot of people have run away from the Parkers, so even if you’re one of them it’s hard to keep track.
Phantom: It’s a good thing that the Bookkeeper/Yes Man/Mustache Model has a skull of iron, so Han and the kitchen staff didn’t just commit a gratuitous murder. She must be yelling at him pretty loud, though, if the Phantom can hear it in Chuma’s office.
6C: I have no idea what’s happening between this couple, sexually or otherwise, and I don’t really care to find out.
@Banana Jr. 6000: LUANN: It’s not technically a free education; Frank has complained a couple times about having to pay for Luann’s classes.
@I was told there would be no permanent record.: Marvin sent to foster care.
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Forced to watch 24/7 “The Best Of Foster Brooks From The Dean Martin Roasts”? Too good for the little stinker,if you ask me.
@I was told there would be no permanent record.: I had read an Archie comic just the other day, where Archie, Betty and Veronica are walking across town in Winter and sees a little girl up to her shoulder’s in a snowbank. She wasn’t screaming or anything, she was literally just standing there.
Betty thinks the girl might be stuck/in trouble. Veronica says that there isn’t a problem and she and Archie keep on walking, while Betty helps the little girl out. The mother at that moment comes looking for her daughter and the girl tells her Mom that Betty saved her life and she’s treated as a hero.
@I was told there would be no permanent record.: “Marvin sent to foster care.”
And they end up rejecting him, like the kid from the movie “Problem Child”
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Made me read Six Chix…
That is not something I wanted to see xD
But I did look a few days past.
Yesterday: Bianca is dating a punk snowman? Who is melting/dying and she finds that funny? Well, at least she’s smiling. Unless Bianca is the snowman (seriously her punk characters seem interchangable)
The day before: WHAT THE F….. is going on in that Groundhogs’ mind? I’ll give A+ for effort in the surreal department, and not lazy “Alice” level surreal either.
Yesterday’s Six Chix: A anthropomorphic snowman with a carrot piercing is an odd idea, but at the same time, is something I never considered… I guess I’ll give Bianca points for originality? But then again, knowing her she would probably give a lampshade a piercing if she could.
@115 Deadly Goon Bugs: Not special, spectacular!
@116 Anonymous: A time warp could explain this dish’s looks.
@Baja Gaijin: I’m actually a bit surprised by a Weight Watchers recipe including hot dogs, no matter how tortured their arrangement. I guess it’s evened out by the copious amounts of steamed-with-no-flavour veggies at the base
@Baja Gaijin: I’m actually a bit surprised by a Weight Watchers recipe including hot dogs, no matter how tormented their arrangement. I guess it’s evened out by the copious amounts of steamed-with-no-flavour veggies at the base
@GarrisonSkunk: And it makes his bark all high and squeaky.
@127 CanuckDownSouth: The presentation is gagworthy. Can’t eat the calories while you’re digestive system slams into reverse.
‘shaft: I’ll admit that comedic timing in print is a tricky thing, but a surefire way of not achieving it is spreading your caption over multiple panels with ellipses. On top of that, it says “other” twice. Did Batiuk write this “joke” over three days? Was he playing exquisite corpse with himself?
@GarrisonSkunk: Not a lot of white meat on a parrot, so I would go with a dignified yet crisp red Bordeaux, maybe a Haut-Medoc from St. Emilion commune. The quality is generally high and it’s more economical than other municipalities like Paulliac or St Estephe.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: It’s the perverts AND the snarkers who keep cartoonists in business, and I am proud to be employed in both professions. (Here’s hoping Queen Azura materializes in the Naughty Cheerleader outfit tomorrow). (Or the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man)
@Artist formerly known as Ben: re: DT: Lee, the other policewoman, is gay. Currently cohabitating with the Jimmy Olsen impersonator/ex-henchperson Hot Rize.
As far as Lizz goes, you may be familiar with the term “work wife.”
@Rare Commenter: Your crush is named Connie, and she owes that figure to Zumba.
@Dr. Pill: Seriously??? [checks] Wow. So many questions, but here’s the main one: is the Keane Kompound a kind of amphitheater?? Because, like, the floor is covered with snow.
@Old School Allie Cat: Yaaaaay! Thank you!
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: As usual, Sid, you made a very good point. During the course of this story, Sunny has greatly expanded his linguistic, cognitive, emotional, and expressive ranges. During that same period of time, as we are shown today, what Toby has mostly done is make her nose disappear.
@Baja Gaijin: It makes me want to weep, and not with joy.
love is… getting rid of the little brats once and for all with a seemingly innocent game of “Let’s play Pirate Treasure!”
Snuffy – How do they keep up with the news like that?
@The Rambling Otter: Imagine a drunken husband making an ass of himself with a pierced lampshade on his head and you will realize that yes, The Lockhorns could be worse.
@Ukulele Ike: True about Lee and Blaze Rize (I think Hot R is dead?) but I meant gay males.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Sometimes in fantasy-related stuff, I see swords with rings through the blades.
I don’t know what that means really.
@The Rambling Otter: Re yesterday’s Six Chix – This is actually one of Xunise’s attempts to do a continuity comic, which doesn’t work very well when you’re doing one panel per week, interleaved with other artists. In last week’s installment, the snowperson was waiting for the bus. I assume the joke is that there’s a real human under there, who has been comically turned into a snowperson by having to wait too long in the cold. But it’s basically the same joke in both panels. I’m still rooting for Xunise to go back to the briefly glimpsed “sandwich sex” level of zaniness (though not the actual sandwich sex; that ran its course).
@Baja Gaijin: Holy cow! Imagine coming home for dinner after a bad day tired and overworked and finding that on the table.
@Ettorre: this is very funny
@Bryan: My mistake, I thought “free community college” was part of Luann’s overall plan. (Because, you know, that exists.) She’s basically a professional student who hates going to class.
@137 Poteet: It’s just lime Jell-O with a bunch of random crap in it. Hmm. Wait, that was yesterday’s monstrosity. Carry on.
@144 Dr. Pill: Seeing that on the table is a subtle sign that the relationship is over.
Only one way to find out, Marvin. Your parents are citizen-scientists and you should respect their work.
Marvin: I’m not sure which freezes faster: my shit or my piss.