A little unnerved contemplating what country Beetle is in right now
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Heathcliff, 5/26/26

When Jewish theologians began to systematize the ideas they had inherited around the spiritual beings we call “angels,” one awkward question they had to answer was where they came from and how more of them could come into existence. While the Enochian literature interpreted the “nephilim” of Genesis 6 as the offspring that resulted from angels lusting after human women, and there was a potential memory of the Holy of Holies including a depiction of cherubim locked in erotic embrace, the rabbinic tradition ultimately rejected these interpretations, seeing the “Sons of God” who sired the Nephilim as noble humans and the art of the Ark representing the union between God and His people. They concluded that angels did not reproduce amongst themselves, but were directly and individually created by God; some of the minor angelic ranks were, based on a verse in Lamentations, believed to have been created fresh by God at the beginning of each day and extinguished at the end of it, while the cherubim and important named angels like Michael and Gabriel were permanent.
But of course, we cannot know how much of this thinking applies to Heathcliff’s cherubim, though we do know that, by some mechanism, their number is increasing. Does our boy Heathcliff create them at his whim and similarly banish them to nonexistence when he tires of them? Or are they sexual entities, like their notoriously horny creator?
Beetle Bailey, 5/26/26

So I looked it up and it turns out that modern tanks take at least three soldiers to properly operate, which leaves me wondering who’s inside that stalled out tank ready to annihilate this lady at point-blank range if she refuses to go along with the Camp Swampy gang’s demands. I’m thinking Zero would be unthinking enough to follow an order to fire and Plato would be coldly rational enough to issue one in the face of necessity. Beetle is, typically, doing the least work here, but doesn’t feel great about it.
Six Chix, 5/26/26

Hey, do you think newspaper comics are for old people? Well, Six Chix is here to prove you wrong, hiring cutting-edge millennial cartoonists to draw panels about … listening to boomer hero Bruce Springsteen’s iconic 1984 album Born In The USA? Hmm. Hmm! At least she’s weeping openly listening to it rather than jamming out, that’s … that’s innovative, right?


36 replies to “A little unnerved contemplating what country Beetle is in right now”
Mary Worth Mashup: Here’s what I think Wilbur will be doing later…
Come for the snark. Stay for the Daf Yomi.
Bianca’s neck isn’t at a very comfortable angle. I recommend lying straight back for pillow weeping.
BB: This is why the army needs to modernise and start replacing its fleet with reliable modern electric vehicles. Or failing that, at least some tanks that look like they were manufactured some time in the last hundred years.
MW: “I have to revise a column. This letter from some idiot who thinks his girlfriend who’s visiting family has left him has to be a fake!”
BB: Now *that’s* a “meet cute!”
BB: A third panel with Beetle saying “Tank you!” was right there.
6Cx: dont know about The Boss, but there are appropriate lyrics on line to *Change My Clothes” by Dream and Alec Benjamin.
MW – Wilbur will take that walk and spot Tommy being helpful. “The old Tommy Beedle wouldn’t do that,” he thinks from his hiding place in the bushes. And so, a father daughter competition for the affections of a grocery store bag boy begins.
Heathcliff:
Wow. This is just like the bowler hat scene in The Thomas Crown Affair.
6Cx – Bianca could have used “c’mon baby the laugh’s on me” from the same song, her avatar weeping because it’s the first time a laugh is come anywhere near her strip.
CS: Tired of waiting for Ed Crankshaft and Lillian McKenzie to die, Satan opens a direct portal to the Funkyverse.
Pluggers: If you use the phrase “I’ve got a guy for that”, you’re a Plugger. Angie’s List has been around in some form for over 30 years.
6C: OK, serious question: does someone need to make sure Xunise is okay?
GT: When you own a store that makes wedding cakes, telling the bride she needs to mind her figure seems like very bad customer service.
Luann: Another point supporting my “the setting of Luann is a fundamentalist Christian small town” theory.
@Baja Gaijin:
Yeah, this is exactly the state I expect someone Wilbur’s age and general physical fitness to be in after he walks around his appartment block for exercise.
….Oh wait, you’re implying that’s what he’s going to be doing INSTEAD of physical exercise. That works too.
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Beetle Bailey : I’m more fixated on how tiny the car appears to be, and how crappily that tank is drawn. *I* could do better than that, and I’m 100 % I’m not that much better an artist! (I would put the main gun on a TURRET, rather than the body, for starters)
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Crankshaft : …Shouldn’t that black hole be obviously vacuuming everything around it?
….Then again, it’s pretty much Batiuk’s M.O. to ignore that certain things in his comic strips massively suck.
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Dustin : …ugh, this turned out to be a multi-strip bit. Hopefully this is only two days, and this is a “WAIT DID WE RUN A ‘DUSTIN REJECTS APPLYING FOR THE MILITARY AS AN IDIOTIC MOVE’ ON *MEMORIAL DAY*!? QUICK, RUN A FOLLOW-UP CLARIFYING WE MEANT THAT EVEN DUSTIN REALISES HE’S NOT FIT FOR SERVICE!” situation.
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Frazz : …how was this a dumb question? That was an obvious “Dr Spaetzle and Frazz high-five over the former having set the other up perfectly for a clever line (and also in celebration of the short work week) moment.”
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Heathcliff : …this is before we get to the “Biblically-accurate Angel” stuff, where it’s discussed that angels aren’t supposed to be humanoid, or even have a form we can comprehend, right?
Beetle Bailey:
“My vehicle just sorta tanked. So to speak.”
@Baja Gaijin: For Wilbur, that’s a day ending in “Y”.
“Fairtree Mountain Trails” sounds like we may be treated to Dawn falling off a cliff, and Tommy rescuing her. I may be overly-influenced by the Comics Kingdom banner, which still shows Iris rescuing Zak.
This lady is basically stealing money from the syndicate. What would less effort even look like?
Six Chix:
“Target of comic strip commentary as I am, I’m just ‘Dancing in the Snark’ !”
The song “Born in the USA” is not patriotic and it is actually a bitter protest song about a disillusioned, working-class Vietnam veteran returning home to broken promises, unemployment, and systemic abandonment.
BF: kick the ingrate out!
BLONDIE: let the ingrates In!
BF: never trust an intermediary with essential communications.
MANDRAKE; Ditto
Heathcliff I find it kind of funny that these two seem to be discussing proper pluralization form rather than the realf life consequences of whatbl they’re seeing. Maybe it’s a coping mechanism.
@Rusty: I’m pretty sure you mean Six Chix, but there are so many strips where that could be said.
So she just sorta… stuck her torso out the bottom half of the window, huh? Arms at her sides? Standing straight up? No, no, I get that there are eight little mini-Heathcliffs (Heathscliff?) fluttering after our main guy, that don’t cross my eyes none– right now I’m focusing on the window thing. When a Biblically-accurate Heathcliff shows up, that’s when I stop nitpicking. Possibly forever.
@Ken:
Upon hiking a challenging trail, Dawn twists her ankle and somehow hobbles home. She gets addicted to painkillers, and then in a flash of humility, reappraises her dismissal of Tommy. The next 6 months writes itself!
I’m really curious about how this Six Chix lady has a tattoo on her leg of a spider web. Is she goth or is she really into Spider-Man?
Maybe she’s listening to Dancing in the Dark lyrics and she’s feeling remorse for her decision to get this stupid tattoo or maybe she’s unhappy with her decision to buy such ugly pillows?
@Baja Gaijin: Not going the click on that. I think we all know what Wilbur is going to be “doing later.” The question will be if he’ll have enough Kleenex for the clean-up later (to…uh…wipe up the mayonnaise stains of course.)
Heathcliff: Meanwhile, the plural of cats is חתולים, or chatolim, with a nice throaty aspirated h at the start, perfect for our Heathcliff I think.
@Baja Gaijin: At least he’s not masturbating furiously while daydreaming about Bats Bellefry.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: And the Lord bless you for digging up the NRSV version of that bit from Lamentations, even if it’s going to make me hum “Great Is Thy Faithfulness” all morning.
Murky Tail:
“I spy with my little eye……Trixie!”
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Wary Morth:
“And then, for additional exercise, I’ll crawl through the shrubbery screaming AUUUUUUGH in practice for when I next see Yak and Irish smooching!”
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Curtshaft:
Curtis’ bathroom door and Crankshaft’s grille suffered the same black hole anomaly.
@Anonymous: Looks like a hang glider to me.
Six Chix: How to ruin a Gen Xer’s day in six words: Courtney Cox is 61 years old.
Heathcliff: Triumph all ye cherubim, sing with us ye seraphim! Heaven and Earth resound the hymn: Heathcliff, Heathcliff, Heathcliff the godhead!
Beaten Bailey:
That’s not a tank. That’s either a self propelled gun or a WWII era tank destroyer. Either way it needs not a three man crew, but at least four.
In Ezekiel 1 and Ezekiel 10, Ezekiel describes four living creatures acting as attendants to God’s chariot. Each has four faces: a man, a lion, an ox, and an eagle. They have four wings, human hands under their wings, and hooves or feet like a calf’s that shine like polished bronze. Ezekiel notes that their entire bodies—backs, hands, and wings—along with the mystical whirling wheels moving alongside them, are covered with eyes.
@Baja Gaijin: Nice! But Wilbur will never be that neat and re-cap the mayo jar. He’d leave it open with the butter knife inside.
@Ukranazi Stepan: And if it were a modern tank, it would need a 24 volt jump, not 12.
Beetle Bailey: One thing I learned in a recent Wikipedia hole is that when tanks break down, they require giant tow trucks to collect them and haul them into the shop, a process that is pretty entertaining to watch in old news reels. Of course, tanks are also sitting ducks without close air support and are typically used to advance ground troops, so lady in the car might want to worry both about why Beetle’s out on his own and when the A-10 Thunderbolt IIs are showing up.