Mostly soapy Friday
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Mary Worth, 5/29/26
Oh, I guess I haven’t really mentioned that Tommy and Dawn are falling in love or whatever. You know how last week I was like “Why does Dawn, who as far as I can remember has never really interacted with Tommy before, have such beef with him?” Well, I think the Mary Worth creative team learned about the concept of an “enemies-to-lovers arc” and decided to do one with Dawn and Tommy and then realized they had to make them enemies first. Or at least make Tommy an enemy to Dawn. Tommy would never view anyone as an enemy! He’s too pure! He’s like a golden retriever, if a golden retriever completed a 12-step program!
Gil Thorp, 5/29/26
In other soap opera romance news, it turns out that Gil’s hot younger fiance is secretly a nerd who doesn’t have any friends, and is currently speed-running a gender-swapped version of the beloved 2009 bromantic comedy I Love You Man. She’s trying to rope Coach Cami into being one of her bridesmaids and honestly? It’s not going well! Cami doesn’t look like she’s having fun at all!
Dennis the Menace, 5/29/26
I think the joke here is that Dennis is proposing that he could “play” the cassette tape like it’s a harmonica? But it kind of just looks like he’s going to eat it, which is frankly much funnier. And menacing, too!
Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/29/26
“I had really forgotten how difficult working a regular job is, ha ha. Anyway, turns out my fan base still loves me, so I can probably go back to being a celebrity now. Smell ya later!”
162 replies to “Mostly soapy Friday”
RMMD: “By the way, I can’t feel the right side of my face. Am I having a stroke?”
MW:
“Kinda like family to me! — you know, like the Gambino family; the Borgia family…”
RMMD:
“Would you ever consider stopping wearing that baseball cap backwards, Luis?”
“Well, I’d want to wear it this way at least until I’d be able to make my way through our inventory of pumpernickel in back.”
“Why is that, Luis?”
“I’d be the catcher in the rye and all.”
GT: Smart of the decorator to leave space between the G and the I in Gil’s name for the word balloon.
Mutants have invaded Milford.
MW: “Mary’s kinda like family to me! Like a great-aunt who brings over casseroles so she can judge the state of the house, or who invites herself in for a cup of tea and complains for an hour about all the manual labor she can’t possibly do herself, until you offer to do it for her so she’ll go away.”
They go to eat together, and Dawn slops some food on her face. ALL IS LOST.
DTM: Dennis is the perfect age to have seen Guardians of the Galaxy and Stranger Things, so he has no problem identifying a cassette tape. A lot of issues interacting appropriately with other people and their stuff, though.
How can you tell if Cami is having fun, or isn’t, or is constipated, or is longing for her after dinner tipple? The wind turned when she was making that face and she can’t get it back to normal.
Gil Thorp:
“Cam, we don’t look like distorted holograms today for a change — is our illustrator, like, maybe under the weather or something?”
Dennis the Menace:
“Dennis, why don’t you follow up that command performance on that cassette with a kazoo solo using the plastic spine of your school paper report cover?”
Wary Morth:
“In fact, you’re prime boyfriend material! Marry me!”
____________________________________________
Murky Tail:
“This is her.”
“This is her *what*?”
“This is her inability to speak grammatical English!”
____________________________________________
Wrecks Moregone:
“Right, now I’ve put your cafe back on its feet, I’ll get off mine, go back to Hollywood, and get back to acting. Oh, Mud, could you be a darling and bring my car around for me?”
MW: “And she’s kinda like family to me too!” Says Dawn.
“Well, you know what they say.” Says Tommy. “Incest is best!”
Rex Morgan thinks he hears something, stirs slightly, looks around. There is nothing. He returns to staring blankly, and dreaming of cake.
Mr. Wilson’s attic contains:
That boombox
A curtained window
A wall covering half the window
An elevated platform with a chair and dresser on it
A miniature version of itself, atop the dresser.
Dennis menaces him and he menaces the concept of Euclidean space.
Questionable Malcontent:
In which Goddess Empress Claire calls Emily (once upon a time far and away the most brilliant, if odd, character in the comic) a literal child.
I hate this strip so much.
CS: “Do we have black hole insurance?” “No, but we have a standing offer of $1,000,000 payments from both the town and the State of Ohio for disposing of your father by any means necessary. I think this vacation just got a little longer!”
MW – He thinks Mary’s cool – the meth has affected your sanity, Tommie Tweaker….
GT – Hey – here at the Barney Pub, I love you, you love me, we’re one happy family….
DtM – It should be a wax cylinder….
RMMD – Just put those muddy boots on and start walkin’….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
JP – did Manley have a beef with the lettered, who is now making the word balloon tails massive to cover more art?
Luann – Options? I’ve thought about them a lot. Travel… more dining out… time for hobbies and interests… a higher standard of living… so many options.
Ph: Nawww, he wants revenge on Stripeypants? No way! Whatta twist! I swore he was after MaeMae!
RMMD — How many layers of management does this hotel cafe have?
And realistically, many breakfast/brunch/lunch cooks and waiters have evening gigs at other establishments, so yeah, they might mind, even with the no doubt princely hourly wage at the Glenwood Motel. . .
MW: Did these two actually hike into the woods or are we seeing this through Dawn’s fantasy vision? Tomorrow Tommy will morph into a blond version of the Brawny paper towel guy and the transition will be complete.
f course, a Gil Thorpe character doesn’t look happy. They’re drawn as to look barely human these days.
MW: Dawn has REALLY had to search to find someone that she can patronize. Still not sure she’s there.
RMMD: When I was a kid, a local shoe store, as a talking point, kept ducks in the front window. I’m picturing Sideburns doing the same to Mae Mae.
GT: Beth loves Gil. It’s unfortunate that virtually everyone else in his world is a jerk.
DtM: Ah, youth! One of my (teen) grandkids came to me with a handful of “defective” kazoos. Yeah, he was blowing into them.
Oh, Tommy. Guard your heart just a little, you mop-headed muffin. For one thing, getting close to Dawn = proximity to Wilbur, and you just kicked that meth habit not too long ago. And y’know, someday soon — maybe even tonight — Dawn is going to go to, like, the store, and then where will you be? Pouting in your newfound garden, that’s where. “Why did she leave me?” you’ll sigh, staring off into the middle distance, kale seeds in hand. “It was me or the Piggly Wiggly, and I guess I just don’t make the grade.”
mary worth – since where in the woods tommy wanna see my BEAVER !!!!
“So these were the cassettes you had when you were young!”
“What, no! I bought all of them ten years ago after watching ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’. I’m a huge Marvel fan”
@beer farmer: Beavers don’t live in forests, they live in open, marshy areas. And Otoboke.
The only consolation of the Iris-Wilbur couple was that they were too old to have kids. But now Dawn and Tommy threaten to spread their cursed genes into the world! Quick Mary, tell them they because Iris and Wilbur were a item they are technically brother and sister and so shouldn’t mate!
Gil Thorp: Why is Beth wearing a maternity dress? Why is Cami wearing a Monsters, Inc. polo shirt? Why does Beth’s arm fold at that crazy angle? Why does everything look two-dimensional? Why is anything, my friends?
DtM: Careful, Dennis — if you eat that, you might get a tapeworm. (I’ll show myself out.)
@pugfuggly: They call it the Remote Forest Edge of Santa Royale™. It’s a wilderness with no cell service, which we’ve now established is reachable by balloon, dachshund, sedan, and the “Fairtree Mountain Trails.”
DtM – Is Dennis a child of the 50’s dressed in his overalls and 20 years away from the cassette? Or a child of the 2020s, for whom the mere idea of music on physical media is foreign? Either way, this joke works, so congrats to the DtM team for leaning into the temporal ambiguity of the setting.
RMMD Also, my feet are killing me – turns out there is a downside to gaining weight by enjoying eating. Looks like it’s time to hit the GLP-1s and rejoin Hollywood society’s expectations!
GT – “As long as Gil likes you, you’re cool with me – and the moment he tires of you, you will no longer exist as far as I’m concerned, because I don’t want to end up in the cornfield. All hail Gil!”
JP Better pack up the burger so I can take it home, you were making too much sense there for a minute
Once again, Dennis the Menace is answering the vital questions of our times. For example: How do you keep a moron occupied and quiet for several hours, while sacrificing only a copy of “Abba’s Lesser-Known Regional Swedish Hits”?
@Pozzo: You simultaneously impress and disgust me. Hats off, Sir.
Crankshaft-“What comic strip can we move to that will put the most distance between us and your father?”
Dennis the Menace-And over here are a bunch of video tapes with Mrs. Wilson’s “art films” that she used to make.
Dustin-“Does this story involve the corpses in the break room and the trail of blood that leads to this elevator?”
MW-Dawn, you don’t want to hear Tommy’s thoughts on mayonnaise.
RMMD-“My feet are killin’ me.” Oh good then this story can end much faster.
Mary Worth: “You’re not as bad as I thought, Tommie Beedie!” “Wide, child-bearing hips, flattened, microencephalic brain case, she’ll do.” Yes, truly a match made in heaven.
Tommy is going to marry into the Weston family, the poor guy. Just let him start doing meth again, it will mess up his life a lot less.
***
Pity the poor, aging newspaper comic artist who is cursed to live in the past but can’t quite remember what a cassette looks like.
“Gil and Mimi were royalty, the perfect couple! But they ended up with a loveless marriage, an acrimonious separation and lingering resentment. But look at you! You are clearly poor and a mess, so your marriage will end up much better!”
“Uh, thanks, I guess”
Dennis the Menace:
“Young person doesn’t understand old media format” is an extremely hoary subject for humor—how many times on the comics pages have we already seen this basic joke played out with vinyl records? Dennis is even doing the famous (but staged) bit from Nanook of the North where he tries to eat it. The fact that he’s doing it with a cassette tape ought to put a chill in all you Gen Xers’ old bones. Still, I think it would’ve been much funnier and more menacing if he’d gone “actually, old man, a cassette tape doesn’t play music, it stores music. You put it in a cassette player like the one right there and that plays music. You’re getting senile to the point you don’t even understand the objects of your own nostalgia!”
“Wait, did Gil tell you ‘please be friend with her, she’s so pathetic’?!”
“Well, don’t take it personally! Gil does the same for his two children and any loner student who he fears will become a school shooter!”
GT: “Gil and Mimi were Milford royalty. Now that they’re divorced, however, Mimi lost all her status, while you’ve been elevated to the position of Favored Concubine.”
Why is Cami treating Beth like a homewrecker? Emily was the one who left Gil for her lesbian golf coach; I can’t remember if Beth was even in the picture at that point but if she was it was definitely in a “crushing on him from a distance” angle. Is Cami sore because this outsider came and snatched up the Most Eligible Bachelor in Milford?
MW: After having a five-minute conversation with Tommy, Dawn has decided he’s her new true love. Truly a chip off the needy, desperate block.
RMMD: Two in the afternoon, or two in the morning? Either way Maena’s owed a federally mandated break, celebrity waitress or not.
Mary Worth:
“You’re not as bad as I thought, Tommy Beedie! That’s an extremely low bar, though! You still fuckin’ suck!”
Comics writers have heard about reality but have no direct experience with it, a new episode! A child of Dennis’ age would probably be more familiar with a cassette than a harmonica
“My feet are killing me!”
“Wait, let’s take a picture! That way we’ll have even more customers!”
I can’t decide which potential direction for this Dawn/Tommy storyline would please me more: one in which Dawn tries to “Vertigo” Tommy into her milksop ex, Jared (with his new, less-threatening moptop and brown mustard tee, he’s just a few surface-level sci-fi references away at this point), or one where the relationship progresses to the point where a Wilbur/Iris/Zak reunion is unavoidable (and where ideally drinks and/or karaoke are heavily involved).
Man I could have sworn we already did the Tommy/Dawn pairing a few years ago. Is there another blond loser she dated?
“As long as they get paid, they are not gonna complain!”
“I know! That’s why I was hoping for some way to get them to work without pay! Working with a Hollywood star… would that count as ‘for exposure’?”
Dustin: …At least it’s not another military recruitment gag.
Luann: Give Clan Evans credit, they keep inventing new ways for the relationships in this strip to be really, really off-putting.
Phantom: So, the mysterious legendary vigilante hero who lives as a shadow and is spoken of with awe and dread has his own publicity photos?
Pluggers are afraid to die.
@TheDiva: re GT: Because everyone in Milford is so fixated on Gil that Cami was, like an immature child, hoping for a Parent Trap plot but Beth making Gil happy ruined it
I think I know exactly the manner in which one would have described Gil and Mimi as “the perfect couple”, and who to demonstrate it…
Next week in Pluggers: “A Plugger gets his daily walk going to the refrigerator during the commercial break “.
GT: It’s very funny that Cami appears to be blaming Beth for Gil’s ex-wife being a lesbian.
Archie-Archie’s dad is holding out for this new thing he heard is coming. It’s called HD DVD.
MW: Meanwhile, as Brandy researches her family’s genealogical records in Florida, she accidentally stumbles onto the birth records of Tommy Beedie and his fraternal twin, Zak, separated at birth but soon to be reunited when Brandy confronts Iris, Zak, and Tommy with the facts that Wilbur is actually their father and just in time to save Dawn from having an incestuous relationship with her half-brother. This time, Piccadee Falls will triumph.
FC: Conspicuous by his absence, Billy knows better than to ask his mom for some junk food after his last experience with Australia’s finest.
“Vegemitenot!”
RMMD – Having foot pain? Maybe you should see a doctor. Are there any doctors in this town?
Luann-“You need pills.” Pills bought from a questionable website with sketchy ads that are plastered all over websites.
DtM: No, Dennis, not like that does. A cassette still plays music when your streaming service has been hacked, or your parents decide it’s not worth paying to hear all those non-existent bands’ AI songs.
Today’s Wizard of Id is set somewhere between Gaudi and Dr. Seuss.
Gasoline Alley: Hey, I was joking when I said Hootin’ Holler and Gasoline Alley were adjacent to each other.
Blondie: Dagwood can escape Elmo at work for 40 hours a week. Blondie doesn’t have such luck.
Zits: Wait, prom? How many proms have these two attended by now?
Dustin: Helen should know her lawyer husband better than to let him draft the promissory agreements.
RMMD: Things take a weird turn when oblivious manager guy sets up a booth where, for a small fee, customers can take turns massaging Mae Mae’s aching feet.
Gasoline Alley – Well, we can’t say we weren’t warned. I’m torn between wanting to skip it next week and reading it to see how awful it will be.
Gil Thorp – I don’t read Mark Trail any more, but I remember that Rusty was a terrible homunculus back in the day. He was never as repulsive as whatever every character in Gil Thorp is now. I bet Rusty feels vindicated if he ever bothers to look at this terrible artwork.
Jules Rivera did make Rusty look like a normal kid. At least she can draw.
FC – The melonheads just got home from visiting holier than thou Grandma. “Those children have to live on whatever junk food they find in the house while that harlot is passed out from drink. No wonder their brains aren’t developing.”
DtM: Dennis overthinks the gag. Pulling out the tape and saying “what’s this?” would have been fine for a six-year old. Trying to intellectualize it with the harmonica bit falls flat.
We know after 60 years you’re bored with the roll but stick with the basics, kid.
Dennis put the cassette to his lips as George scowled, worried about the damage the drool would do to the aged magnetic tape. There was an audible click, and suddenly the angelic tones of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir swelled in the attic. Dennis was still smiling as music poured from his mouth, his ears, in perfect stereo. My god, George thought as he sank to the floor, my terror, my nemesis, was some sort of automaton! But who? Who could be so devious as to inflict this injury upon me? Downstairs, Martha let out a ladylike curse. “I guess it’s back to old reliable,” she muttered, searching the pantry for the rat poison.
No, Tommy, Mary isn’t “cool”. One does not commit such crimes of lese majeste in this condominium complex! As soon as the Board (aka Mary) hears of this, there will be repercussions. Respect must be shown.
MW: Dawn and Tommy are bonding over their shared admiration of Mary Worth. Just like we do here!
Gil Thorp: Why is Gil’s name spelled out in letter tiles on the bar’s back wall? Sports bars are a thing, but high school sports bars?
Yeah, I guess that checks out, but only in Milford, where all competing public entertainment was outlawed upon the birth of the once-and-future coach, GT.
Blondie: Uh, Dagwood, hate to bring you down but you do realize that Elmo, as a child who is still in school, the one who has a cool 10 weeks of summer vacation ahead of him, not you, right? I’d say you’re still going to be sweating away at the J.C. Dithers Construction Company day after day, but let’s face it, you’re just going to be snacking and napping and yapping like you usually do, which, let’s face it, is a pretty sweet gig. Anyway, you’re not going to see any more or less of Elmo than you usually do, but I am heartened by the fact that you don’t actually enjoy this weird little dynamic you have with the neighbor child.
MW: Tommy both undresses and dresses Dawn with his eyes.
“Garters, lace panties, push-up bra, and…………ski mask! perfect.”
You do at least have to give Dennis the Menace some credit! I would’ve expected Dennis to try using the cassette like a smartphone or more likely, an iPod.
MW-Mary is that spinster aunt you act all nice around in order to get into her will.
@Liam: [upbeat but creepy whistling theme] This is Brad. Brad is very dumb. But with Viabrat he can ‘keep it up’ with his neighbors the Alfs! Try Viabrat* today!
*Side effects may include property damage, drinking mud soup, and awkward innuendo. If a grinning apparition appears in your house and stays more than five years, consult your local insane asylum as these could be symptoms you are a serious danger to society.
LUANN: Brad: “At least we’re getting expert care from a professional.”
Shannon: “That’s right, Bwad! By the way, I need you take off your pants and let me stick this split in your urethra to check you sperm count.” (insert TGIF-style “Awwwww!” reaction and laugh-tack here.)
@Liam: I always get my questionable pills down at the truck stop.
MW: Say, Tommy. When you’re done here with Dawn, let’s work on your vocabulary.
Do you know what a ‘succubus’ is?
JP: Now, don’t panic, Judge. Your first instinct is to rush home to your phone, but consider: No one can call you or text you. Seriously, enjoy this rare, fleeting moment while it lasts.
HotC: I’ve noticed the strip is less violent since Steenz took over. Hopefully, this current story arc will correct that.
G-I-L is the new Live Laugh Love.
Blondie, the Neighborhood Bumstead missed National Hamburger Day! Is that a sign of the appocolypse?
Dennis the Menace: It’s true that better art could help out that second half-panel, showing more clearly the open, tape-exposing side of the casette, which does, upon reflection, give it a certain resemblance to a harmonica. But, still: I actually laughed at the joke!
Ripley: ….and tomorrow, we’ll be wrapping up the week with Believe It Or Not budgerigars.
DtM:
“I learned a new word from Rex Morgan today, Mr. Wilson — ‘telangiectasis.’ He says that your having it on account of your alcohol consumption is the reason why your nose is red all the time!”
REX MORGAN M.D.: Lorna/Mae Mae: “Ugh! Work is hard when you have to serve more than 2 customers!”
Just to put things into perspective, Lorna/Mae Mae also said her feet were killing her after her grueling two-customer, part-time shift yesterday. So much so that she needed to take a nap because languidly pouring coffee between flirting sessions was just so exhausting! Just saying that maybe this line of work isn’t cut out for her.
Not that she can return to Hollywood because, can you believe it, they expect you to, like do stuff there too! You guys I think Lorna/Mae Mae might be kinda dumb and lazy.
GA: that cat, Meow Meow?, is giving one whale of an emotional performance. Is she one of Sid’s clients?
GT: I suppose it’s shallow to ask, but is Cami a woman with a mustache or a man willing to be a brides attendant?
PLUGGERS: True ‘toon. As long as I do pushups and run, I’m 35. At least physically. Oh, and take my meds.
RMMD’. Hope Mae Mae has been the in town long enough to have scored a second pair of shoes. Working woman advice to newbie: midshift, do stretches and change shoes.
@Liam: You forgot “pills with rhinos, mammoths, or blacksmiths on them, sold at truck stops and gas stations”.
GT: Gil’s fiancée takes the phrase “you’re cool with me” as her cue to hit poor Cami with her elbow, just the way she’s seen hockey players do.
DTM: Dennis Mitchell may not be menacing Mr. Wilson, but Dennis the Menace is menacing its readers by pointing out that George Wilson is now of the generation that listened to music on cassette. His good old days were now the 1980s. Deal with that, Gen X!
RMMD: Meanwhile, title character Rex Morgan has been chilling in his trailer for days now, waiting to be called back to the set.
So, did Tommy and what’s her face actually break up and I missed it, or is this the beginnings of an affair? Would the MW creative team dare to do such a thing? Do I break out the popcorn or no?
@Activist:
#85 PLUGGERS: (cont). And color my hair and brush my dentures
“Mary’s cool! Have you checked out the weed she has growing back there? The Bum Boat is her White Castle!”
@Ukranazi Stepan: re: QC: Ah, chill out. I can simultaneously believe that Emily is able to construct an app to allow satellites to make friends with one another, and still be baffled by a childproof lock.
What upsets me is Marten wasting perfectly good beer.
@TheDiva, Phantom: I would be intrigued (and oddly disappointed) if Alien Mask Guy was Phantom Stamp Guy.
MARY WORTH: Some of you aren’t that adapt in Weston-ese as I am, so know that when Dawn says “You’re not as bad as I thought, Tommy Beedle” she really means “Tee-hee. I’m totally ready to drop my panties right here and now, you big stud!“
@Everything Is Better With Monkeys: Judge Parker’s balloon tail has furiously swollen up because he realizes by the time he gets those french fries home they will be indigestible globs of cold grease. The burger, he may be able to resuscitate with ten minutes in a slow oven.
Today, in a very special “Beatup Bailey “,special guest star Benny The Cab cameos as Sgt. Snorkel’s Jeep.
“Mary is kinda like family to me. You know, someone you have relations with not because you want to, but because you are obliged to”
Legend of Bill: Anyone remember Conrad?
GT – Cami’s words say “you’re cool with me,” but her body language says she’s literally paralyzed with contempt. But she can always blame that on lazy artwork.
@76 UncleJeff: Is that where you get your Boner Bears?
Don Abundio, translated:
“This steak is burnt!”
“That’s the way they’re cooking them now, boss”
“What do you mean? Who’s cooking them that way?”
“Oh, all the best chefs”
Tommy is looking a little apprehensive. Like I’m alone out here in the middle of nowhere with this lunatic.
@Jerp: Is there another blond loser Dawn hasn’t dated?
Tommy’s mom dated Wilbur, right? Which means Tommy has had a lot of exposure to the family, unless he was in prison when that happened. I guess this is when they could have formed their impressions of each other, but the characters’ alien actions and motivations are well into Yorgos Lanthimos territory by now.
JP – Oh, those darn weekday colorists messed up again! The cheeseburger was obviously supposed to be blue!
The Familliar Mucus: HTT Grandma (just out of panel,thinking) “Everything she makes is junk food!”
@ValdVin: You made me look at The Wizard of Id, damn your eyes. Antoni Gaudi and Dr. Seuss are my two favorite architects.
GT: Beth loves Gil for his rugged good looks and even temperament. Gil loves Beth for her strong Old Fashioneds. It’s probably been mentioned before, but considering the Old Fashioned cocktail is 95% liquor, it’s tough to make a weak one.
The stupid hillbillies of Gasoline Alley are so irritating that even the stupid hillbillies of BG&SS find them offensive. Remember how Al Capp produced entertaining hillbillies, daily and Sundays for forty years? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Today’s Pluggers: Pluggers are super healthy! Yesterday’s Pluggers: Pluggers are super unhealthy!
GT: Having one of the partners be closeted is part and parcel of Cami’s idea of “the perfect couple.” I imagine that meeting her parents would be quite revealing.
MW: The pure of heart recognize each other through their fulsome praise of Mary Worth, of course of course.
RMMD: Doug might actually need a second waitress. Pick up a copy of Variety and hire whoever’s name you don’t see in it.
@Victor Von: re: GT: It’s just an ordinary college sports bar. Beth and the lady coach happen to be sitting in the Georgetown/Illinois/Lehigh section.
Mary Worth: “Whenever Mary Worth isn’t onscreen, all the other characters should be asking ‘where’s Mary Worth’.”
Gil Thorp: Considering the last time Gil’s partner developed another woman as a friend she almost immediately left him for said friend, I don’t think Gil’s gonna be engaged for much longer.
Dennis The Menace: Later at the hospital, the coroners inform Dennis that he somehow choked to death on a cassette tape. As they sob and beg for answers, Mr. Wilson sits to the side, reading a waiting room magazine and smiling ear-to-ear. “I didn’t see anything,” he says glibly.
Rex Morgan: I don’t think we’ve ever actually seen customers onscreen in this supposed successful business. It makes you feel like a therapist talking to a delusional person. “And are the high-paying customers attracted by Lorna’s star-power in the room with us right now?”
@ectojazzmage: DENNIS’ PARENTS IS WHAT I MEANT TO TYPE
@2+2=7:
Alternatively, by “I’ll show you how to take these pills”, Shannon meant “they go up your pooper”.
C-Shaft: Pam and Jeff snuck off to Hawaii in an attempt to escape their comic strip. No such luck.
DT: Obviously, Mumbles said, “Good mead at O’Hare.” Of course the Medieval Nights Tavern isn’t actually in the airport, but it’s so close you can’t miss it.
Dustin: The Marine recruitment thing ran its course and then dragged on. Now Kelly and Parker are going for something fresh, “fresh” defined in very limited terms as “a joke not done this particular week.”
H&J: Oh hey, it’s the Herb & Jamaal mission statement.
Luann: Do the options include ritualized hara kiri? Oh, nothing, just a wandering mind is all.
Phantom: There’s not that much distance between “Revenge is a dish best served cold” and “Revenge is a dish best outsourced to someone else,” but this is still going to blow up in Vindicta’s thoroughly phony alien face.
@ectojazzmage re: MW: It’s like a reverse Bechdel Test where the strip “fails” if two people not Mary Worth are discussing something other than Mary Worth.
Mary Worth: “You’re not as bad as I thought” is a pretty good neg. Why not say it out loud? Maybe she can lower this tall, handsome man’s self-esteem to the point where he would actually consider going out with, well, Dawn Weston. I mean, it’s not as if this strip has introduced any other potential romantic options in this beach / college town that’s potentially loaded with hotties in every direction. Love the one you’re with, dude!
Ziggy-The first rule of Ziggy Fight Club…
MW-“Eh. I’ve had better.”
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Forests have trees and streams. That’s all a Beaver needs.
(hastily drawing over the 8-track in an old strip) it’s a cassette
@The Rambling Otter: Yup, the largest beaver dam known is in a boreal forest park, the pics show trees right up to the edge of the flooded dam-made lake
GT- if the high-school gym teacher is royalty, that speaks volumes about Milford.
Mary Worth – Dawn would fall in love with a prison chain gang member doing trash pickup and weed whacking on the side of the highway.
Gil Thorp – Coach Cami doesn’t like her name being so close to Camilla Parker-Bowles, while Gil’s fiance is the Camilla Parker-Bowles of Milford.
Dennis the Menace – Dennis has been around long enough to have a picture book with an audio cassette, and to now be too young to know what cassettes are.
Rex Morgan, MD – Mae Mae’s first foray back into Hollywood is going to be a pitchwoman for sensible work shoes. Within two-years expect her to walk the Oscars red carpet in a pair of $200 nurse shoes.
DT: When one re-reads this arc all of the clues are there as to why BeadyEyes, Mumbles and DoubleUp and are ideal fall guys / saps for Soly Tare. They don’t seem to have any sense about a good plan. What a criminal job depends on escaping using a share ride service? Even if it is a diversion, they should have their own wheel person and car. That the three of them went along with this crazy scheme shows how dumb they are.
GT: Boo! We want Manga Gil Thorp. Since we have many guest artists, please ask Tatsuya Endo (Spy x Family manga) to do an arc!
JP: The counterman deserves the kind human being award of the month. This is the same cafe where JP had been badgering customers searching for Ann. JP wanders in there whenever he is under stress and this kind man settles him down and get him home.
RMMD: Yep, actual work is hard. Hollywood work looks hard but is often boring – with lots of down time waiting for the set to be arranged. Please let the moral of the story be that Mae Mae is actually NOT cut out for actual daily hard work. She fled the holler all of those years ago for the bright lights of LA because she wanted glamor, excitement and fun, not standing on her feet, taking hash and egg orders and topping off coffee. She contacts her agent, writes a book about her depression, redemption and come back.
Phantom: Is Vindicta trying to set up a fight between Python and Nomad? Is his mask just a sad affectation or is it th Red Skull – a disguise that got stuck?
@Artist formerly known as Ben:
Since we are seeing this from the perspective of the daughter and son-in-law, without crankshaft there, does this mean a massive hallucination? Or could it actually be the end of the strip! The black hole devours the city, county, state and soon the whole world.
@Anonymous: But Brad will say “The pills will get in the way.” Which will explain why they are childless.
MW- ( Panel #1) Psssst…Hey Dawn..might wanna wipe that booger from your right nostril…
GIL THORP: Cami: “They were Milford Royalty. The picturesque idealized couple of a repressed, unfaithful lesbian and a guy shamelessly flirting with the young chippy who serves him drinks. How romantic! As a character that was created after they announced they were getting divorced, and who has never interacted with either part of the couple beforehand, I naturally have all the 411 on their romantic history!”
I think both parties need to have animosity towards each other for “enemies to lovers” to really work, but Mary Worth is boldly seeing if it can be one sided when the initial dynamic is less mutual hatred, more “quiet judging versus general intelligence and attitude of a depressed golden retriever.”
@Baja Gaijin: Dusty Joe’s Food & Fuel on 282.
Remember — don’t take your pills until after you’ve left your vehicle.
You don’t want to get caught in the steering wheel.
Again.
BTW did you catch the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile Race over the weekend?
The announcers were shouting things like: “This where the elite race their meet!”
“These drivers around pounding their wieners as they head down the straightaway!’
And “Six wieners tip-to-tip at the finish!’
@UncleJeff: snerk!
@UncleJeff: I wonder if stuff like this will be available at Dolly Parton’s new truck stop venture?
Crank: So … P’m’n’J’ff are on vacation? They just left Ed to fend for himself, at which point he decided to start grilling? Why do I feel their home insurance has suddenly got very thorough, although probably not enough to cover this?
DT: So much stupid here. On the one hand, a meticulous planner like Sol probably should have prepped the driver of Mumbles’s car on dealing with Mumbles. On the other hand, you’re a getaway driver, what do you think he’s saying? “Let’s go once round the block really slowly”?
And yes, there’s a good chance that when Sol told these idiots to create a distraction by shooting up a police station, he was planning on them taking the fall, but in that case, why have the getaway cars stick around at all?
JP: I love the grim look on Jerry’s face in the second panel. “‘Forgotten’ your wallet? Boy, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree in your family of scam artists, does it?”
GT: “If Gil thinks you’re cool then I guess you probably didn’t split them up by slipping gay drugs into Mimi’s drink every time you served her.”
MW: I know we have to make sure the three people who don’t read this strip online don’t get confused when they miss a day, but for those of us who do, it’s kind of hilarious that the opening narrative caption is just flat out repeating the last thing Dawn said.
SH: “While I’m away being a mermaid, please give the data about how you randomly turn into a dog now to the guy who’s part plant.” Your regular reminder that these people sabotage any other lab that’s close to discovering the Magic Genetic Engineering because they don’t trust anyone else to use it responsibly.
@Horace Broon:
On Safe Havens : it’s not often that the reasoning for “Mankind is not ready for this responsibility” is “Because WE AREN’T EITHER! Look at how irresponsible we are with it!”
Also, is it a good idea for the plant guy to hang out this much in front of windows? Wasn’t the campus crawling with papparazzi at one point? Sure, the “take candid pictures of the first people on Mars” thing isn’t current anymore, but aren’t they still celebrities? Aren’t they getting involved in making a sequel to a blockbuster movie right now?
Late Thread Cuisine: OK, enough with the hot dogs. How about this? Is this real or is it an April Fools joke?
@Baja Gaijin: The shells would make a slice of that pizza hard to eat. But I’d eat it.
@Baja Gaijin:
134. Clam or oyster pizza with dissected worms? What’s not to like, as long as the worms are dead.
@Baja Gaijin: Cuisine – I like seafood, so I can almost get past the shrimp, octopus, and mussels – I think they’re mussels, not clams – but that moldy pizza crust is revolting.
@Baja Gaijin: It’s feels odd to say because image generation has gotten *so* good, but it looks AI/’shopped. The angle of the mussel shells not quite flat on the curve of the pizza slice?
Anyhow, I wouldn’t pick broccoli to go with the seafood chowder pizza topping, but I am sure you *could* do a tasty pizza with mixed seafood and a sauce more like red chowder than the usual tomato sauce – but get the herbs on the dough to look less mossy/moldy please.
@Activist: “Gagh is best served live.”
Hey history buffs. On this day in 1453 Constantinople fell to the Ottomans, bringing an end to the Eastern Roman Empire.
@Baja Gaijin: I find mussels-in-the-shell annoying enough when they’re in a pasta dish. Same with shrimp-in-the-shell-in-a-sauce. This pizza would be a hard pass, except I agree with CanuckDownSouth — this is AI-generated, so I’ll never have to deal with it.
@TK: Yeah, there are some things that being the very dumb man’s Jesse Pinkman doesn’t prepare you for.
@Guillermo el chiclero:
Dude, legit full-metal applause for not saying “Byzantine.” Especially not on this anniversary of a terrible, terrible day.
@Ken: Mollusks are cooked in the shell because they taste better that way. I don’t mind a little manual work with a seafood fork for the payoff — a big bowl of fresh clams or mussels and drawn butter.
@Baja Gaijin:
I love mussels too much not to try it, but also hate having to pull apart shellfish when I’ve got the damn dish already.
@A Grave Mind:
That is no country for old men. The young
In one another’s arms, birds in the trees,
—Those dying generations—at their song,
The salmon-falls, the mackerel-crowded seas,
Fish, flesh, or fowl, commend all summer long
Whatever is begotten, born, and dies.
Caught in that sensual music all neglect
Monuments of unageing intellect.
An aged man is but a paltry thing,
A tattered coat upon a stick, unless
Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing
For every tatter in its mortal dress,
Nor is there singing school but studying
Monuments of its own magnificence;
And therefore I have sailed the seas and come
To the holy city of Byzantium.
@Ukulele Ike:
Comics snark and a Yeats drop? You’re lighting the way, Uke.
@A Grave Mind: I wish I could have made it a little more concise, but who edits Yeats?
@135 Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: That was my first thought. Shells on pizza? I then remembered I saw clams in shells on frutti di mare pizza in Italy.
@136 Activist: Ha ha, dissected worms. They’re squid tentacles. I’m not sure which is less appetizing, to be honest.
@137 I speak Jive: That’s not moldy crust. The crust is made with fried seaweed and rice. I’m pretty sure I never saw that in Italy.
@138 CanuckDownSouth: I completely missed the broccoli florets. I just noticed the pomodorini. Yucko.
@141 Ken: Nope, not AI-generated. Here’s a link to the restaurant’s website (via Google Translate). Without translation.
@145 A Grave Mind: I’m guessing everyone uses their chopsticks to remove the meat from the mussels, then remove the shell from the cheese before eating the pizza as usual.
@Baja Gaijin:
Well, sure, but I’m lazy on that one. Also, squid is serious minus points. I keep trying to like it, and it keeps not happening. :(
@151 A Grave Mind: That whole thing is a culinary nightmare to me. I don’t like seafood in general. Trying to avoid tentacles in food while living in Japan was difficult. They get hidden in all kinds of meals. At least with this pizza, I can see ’em.
@Baja Gaijin: Well, I know who I’M not inviting out for New Haven white clam pizza.
I was talking H.P. Lovecraft with Chelsea Quinn Yarbro at a book conference many years ago. She said “If I were walking along the seashore and Cthulhu reared up out of the deeps, MY first thought would be to run for a frying pan and some butter and lemon.”
HPL lived for years on canned baked beans or spaghetti. He did not care for seafood, nossir. Sad he spent 95% of his life in Providence and New York City. Pass the stuffies and fried haddock.
@153 Ukulele Ike: Well, I know who I’M not inviting out for New Haven white clam pizza. You are a true friend, not subjecting me to that culinary grotesquerie. The linked pizza photo was only slightly less nauseating than the Late Thread Cuisine.
@Ukulele Ike: I live in HPL’s old stomping grounds, and sometimes walk by a marker dedicated to him. I like living near the water but, like him, am not into eating everything that comes out of it.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: The plaque on College Hill in Providence?
That was so nice of someone to do. Reminds me of the George Sterling park on Nob Hill in Frisco, which I happened onto with three comely lady co-workers on a 1997 stroll. And had to explain who Sterling was.
HONOR OUR FORGOTTEN POETS!!!!
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Oh, and any offer of Rhode Island stuffies you turn down, could you mail to me in Brooklyn?
@Ukulele Ike: A little foggy on what stuffies are, but now I know where to send ’em.
@158 Artist formerly known as Ben: They’re sandwiches. You stuff ’em in your mouth.
@Artist formerly known as Ben:
#158. Baja is pulling your leg. I just put Rhode Island stuffies in my browser and see they’re a lot of work to make. I’m a a bleeding heart, are these quahogs cooked while live?
PHANTOM: Bezos’s Blue Origin exploded on takeoff. Do you suppose Musk and the other mogul called him with their jocular condolences?
Gil: Enraged by the suggestion that her acceptance is conditional on Gil, Beth gives Cami a Wembanyamesque elbow to the neck.