Wilbumiliation
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Mary Worth, 11/1/24
Aww, who came to Dr. Ed and Estelle’s last-minute, let’s-make-it-legal-before-we-have-another-dumb-fight wedding? Well, from right, we have: Saul and Eve (intense dog owners, probably repeat customers at Dr. Ed’s clinic due to obsessive worrying over their pets’ health), Dr. Ed’s former lover Shiela, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz (officiant), Mary, some guy (maybe supposed to be Dr. Jeff except his temples aren’t grey and also his nose and chin look wrong???), and, of course, Wilbur, making his second appearance at an ex’s wedding in as many years. It’s good that this is happening to him! I think he should continue to suffer further humiliation until he’s learned his lesson (he never will). Maybe he’ll get an invite from Fabiana when she finally marries her cousin, dare to dream!
Crock, 11/1/24
I dunno, maybe I’m reading too much into a kind of nothing joke, but I feel like at least a little of the implication here is that the wife is going to be eating this dinner too, right? “Don’t eat the dinner, honey … the dinner is me … the dinner is me” (she’ll never hear it because nobody listens to their voice mail anymore, haha kids today am I right)
Beetle Bailey, 11/1/24
“Do the creators of Beetle Bailey know what ‘puppy play’ is?” is the sort of question that I will never, ever want to actually learn the answer to but also will never, ever be able to stop thinking about.
86 replies to “Wilbumiliation”
Mary Worth Mashup: Missing Final Panel.
If I was a cook and I actually knew the name of the animal I was preparing for dinner, I would definitely be having second thoughts about my choice of profession.
Tim Walz? I thought it was the late Sen. John McCain.
Mary Worth: Um, “from left”?
Anyway, it’s great that Wilbur is the only one looking miserable.
Billy fan service in Family Circus, puppy play in Beetle Bailey, was there a comic strip writers convention in Vegas this week?
MW:
So Dr. See’s domestic partner didn’t make the cut for the wedding invite list, but Wilbur did? I’d love to have been a fly on the wall when that particular topic was broached between the happy couple.
MW: After months of strained and shattered relations followed by a couple days of reconciliation, it’s time to get married, so let’s go through these wedding ceremony participants in order of most appropriate to least.* First off, Estelle and Ed are the bride and groom, so it’s reasonable for them to be here. Next we have Senator John McCain, who has risen from the grave to perform the wedding officiant duties. Then there’s Mary, who is Estelle’s friend and cake baker and almighty god, and Jeff is there as Mary’s plus-one. And this is where it starts to get weird. As a minor character, Ed was permitted only one guest, and you might recall that Ed has a nephew who lives in the same town and grew up admiring him enough to follow in his uncle’s footsteps into the veterinary field, establishing a close familial and mentoring bond between them. So naturally Ed invited some woman he dated decades ago and barely knows personally anymore. Then there’s Saul and Eve, who have never once met Estelle or Ed in their lives. And lastly as always is Wilbur, who needs no explanation why his being here is a grotesquely horrible idea. My only guess is Mary snuck Wilbur in under her coat as an act of gambler’s fallacy wild optimism that if she plays the double-or-nothing just one more time Estelle might finally dump Ed at the last second and settle for him.
GT: I’m not sure why Keri thought Pedro might have forgotten about dressing up together for Halloween when they’re going as Chainsaw Mancharacters and obviously coordinated this. Gil’s Clark Kent costume is a nice touch, though frankly making Beth go as Lois Lane is a bit mean given that it’s just an adult woman dressing up as an adult woman. I don’t recognize Coach Hernnadez’s costume at all, and Jami looks like a cross between Frodo Baggins and Shaggy from Scooby Doo. After much deliberation, I hereby give the Best Costume award to Fan Edit Cynthia Erivo, both for being topical and for smashing up Gil’s car with a stick.
*(I often write my comments out in Word before the daily blog post, so forgive me for the occasional overlap with other posters. But I do find it pretty amusing that both Josh and I perceived the officiant as an American politician. Oh, and it seems I’m not the only one who saw McCain. Seriously, who the hell is that guy even supposed to be?)
MW: Very impressive that Ed got John McCain to officiate the wedding, especially since he’s been dead for six years.
By covering up the “D”, Sarge is providing us all with the appropriate reaction to another installment of Beetle Bailey.
MW: Only a schmuck goes to the wedding of someone who’s dumped them. So, basically, Wilbur should never going to another wedding.
RMMD: “Let’s build a ladder out of flimsy cardboard boxes and wooden spoons! What could go wrong?”
MW: I know that Stell was cool with a low-key wedding, but I didn’t think that meant congregating in a /squints/ train station(?). If I didn’t recognize those characters I would assume they were just random passerbys reacting to come kind of street performance.
Crock: Ha, it’s funny because that cook feels real bad about killing his chicken friend. Like, really bad.
BB: Sarge is not about quality of food, he’s about volume. That’s why he goes to the no-frills, unbranded Donut Depot in the industrial park. Just ask for a dozen W582-4Hs — they come with fine-grain sucrose composite.
MW:
Did someone smoosh Dr. Jeff’s nose in a prizefight just before he got here? — check out the disfigured proboscis in today’s first panel.
BB – given the perspective of the panel, Beetle must be about 14 feet tall. Or they just left an inept intern to paste together today’s strip while the rest of the team headed for the 19th Hole. Stay tuned to see if the strip becomes 14-foot Super Soldier Beetle
I like how Blondie pops a grape in her mouth to further rub it in which, until today, I’d never heard of revenge eating.
Crock: All the legionnaires are eating cock tonight.
@pugfuggly: Having officiated a wedding at a street festival, 100% accurate, can confirm.
@BeckoningChasm: We already knew Josh is occasionally not oriented to the day of the week, and now space. If he asks for help remembering his wife’s name, we gotta get Uncle Lumpy to sign the committal paperwork.
MW – “from left?” Josh is more dyslexic than I am. And I’m pretty dyscilex.
MW: Stell and Ed leave the “If anyone objects to the marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace” part out of the ceremony with Wilbur in attendance.
Crock: It’s common among those who raise chickens to feed them unfertilized eggs, but you always want to scramble or otherwise cook them first, so the small-brained avians don’t get the idea that their own output is free protein just sitting around for the cannibalistic taking. All of which is to say Crock is correct, and I’m frightened too.
MW – That’s not Dr. Jeff, that’s Wilbur’s date. They met at Karaoke Night. Wilbur’s messing up relationships from both sides now.
Mary Worth: I see in the comments that some folks believe it’s John McCain instead of Tim Walz in the center of the picture. I’m going with the Minnesota governor because a) alive, but more importantly b) there is nothing more boring than being married by a former geography instructor, and Mary Worth doesn’t do pastels for its health, you know.
MW: Is “When Stell marries Ed in his living room” one of saddest statements ever committed to paper?
Did we really wrap this storyline up in two strips?
All this and more on the next episode of, “Curmudgeon Live!”
DtM: Alice is shocked that Dennis has overheard some of her and Henry’s sexy talk. “You feed the refrigerator and I’ll stuff the oven!” and thinks it has something to do with the Gantt charts she keeps on the fridge.
I hold humanity in such low regard that I could absolutely believe that we would eat another species even if it was intelligent enough to put in words how much it would rather not be eaten. Some monsters would even cook them alive. But just tossing them in a pot and cooking them still covered in feathers? In the French Foreign Legion? That would be a firing squad offence.
***
Could being forced to attend his ex’s wedding be some sort of creative punishment finally being passed down on Wilbur for that time he broke with reality and shoved an old man over? He was having a mental health episode so prison would be too harsh, but they couldn’t just let him walk. Perhaps a state psychiatrist suggested this so that he could see that the women he is no longer in relationships truly do move on.
RMMD-Get a chair to stand on and rope to make a lasso out of.
MW-Wilbur was invited as punishment. “You see what being a decent person can land you, Wilbur?”
FC-Uh no. It’s either a tie or a sock you hang from a door.
MW: I have to agree with Josh – my first thought was that it’s Tim Walz officiating. I just compared pictures of each, and while there is a resemblance to Senator McCain, the jovial expression is definitely Walz.
If the party action continues tomorrow (or Sunday) at Ed’s house, I am going to be really disappointed about missing the heart-pounding, nail-biting scene of the Cake Transfer, the most crucial step of the Cake Decorating process! We were robbed!
MW: that’s Jeff’s brother Jack who became a professional boxer.
A&J: today’s installment amused me.
Luann: does that cheerleader know how much she affected Greg?
Mary Worth – In the unofficial movie adaptation of Catcher in the Rye called Igby Goes Down, Jeff Goldblum’s character says “I believe, umm, that certain people in life are meant to fall by the wayside; to serve as warnings to the rest of us; signs posts along the way.”
Wilbur is such a character, the rock bottom to many women. He’s also apparently Dane Cook in Good Luck Chuck, minus the happy ending. Oh well, at least Wilbur still thinks Dane is funny.
Crock – The French Foreign Legion has a history of taking in criminals, runaways, orphans, and other pliable castoffs of society to fill the ranks and help enforce a brutal colonial regime on the indigenous population. But behind the man who wields the gun are several more doing the support work to keep the legion running and supplied, and skills like require normal civilians. Cooks like this one cannot be blind to the mission of violence they support, so the Legion has ways of breaking them, by having them befriend sentient chickens, before having to kill them to feed the troops in the field.
Beetle Bailey – In 2022 a transphobic urban myth went around that schools were installing litter boxes for students who identified as cats, which became fodder for politicians who needed a distraction from their poor handling of the COVID crisis and the post-COVID recovery that had begun after vaccines became widely available.
Well, with close elections everywhere, there is a strong chance a few of them will get worried letters from their aging constituents that they saw in the newspaper that US Army troops were now acting like dogs. Rather than offering a substance free response that their office would look into it and let their constituent’s dementia do the rest, they will instead use the last week of the election pushing a dangerous new fear into an already unstable situation
I like to think there’s some puppy play going on in today’s Mary Worth as well. Mary is clearly the one responsible for Wilbur receiving invites to his exes’ weddings and she has to be the one making him go. I can only figure she’s doing the fabled dog-owner thing of rubbing a dog’s nose in its mess to teach it a lesson and stop it from repeating the bad behavior. How many more failed relationships will Mary have to rub Wilbur’s nose into before he finally stops tracking them into her apartment? It might look impossible to do from the outside but Mary has successfully trained Wilber to salivate after she rings a bell so she’s really hopeful this current training will stick soon.
MW: Um, I think that’s supposed to be Dawn, not Sheila, no? But I don’t have an explanation for the gray streak in her hair, other than maybe she’s now reached the age of 45 and just stopped dyeing it.
@BeckoningChasm: Clearly Josh meant stage left, not audience left.
@Baja Gaijin: Where did you dig up that monstrosity?
Why are we not talking about the fact that Tiffany gave Stef a censored middle finger in Luann today? Oh, because it’s otherwise a formulaic, average artwork dinosaur of a strip? Ok. Carry on.
Marvin: I know a lot of people hate him but I still think making any kind of joke about smothering a baby is abhorrent.
SlyLock Fox: Not sure I like how flirtatious this “western ladybug” is with it’s prominent eyelashes and focus on it’s backside. Are there people into ladybugs?
Beetle Bailey: I think in the movie “Zero Dark Thirty” there was a part that showed how detainees are interrogated and one technique was sleep deprivation and then put them on a leash and treat them like literal dogs to work them into submission. Beetle seems to be enjoying it too much.
MW: So all these people, and only these people, who have only the most tenuous connections to the happy couple except through Mary and Charterstone, show up at their wedding? I’m beginning to thing that Charterstone is not really a condo complex but a religious cult, and Mary is their Svengali.
MW, panel one: We need to get the Emily Post Institute in here to discuss appropriate dress for a casual home wedding for an older couple. The men (even Wilbur) are doing all right, having turned out in suits and ties, though of course Saul is insisting on his trademark bow tie rather than the standard necktie. But what is going on with the women? Sheila’s so far out of panel that she might be okay, but Mary’s wearing an age-inappropriate jumper and Eve just wore what she always does (and you know she didn’t bother to brush off the dog hair before coming over). And don’t get me started on that hideous thing the bride is wearing..
(I’m siding with Josh in saying that’s Governor Walz as the officiant, because come on, look at him–that man is practically radiating “Minnesota nice.” That’s the face of a man who knows he brought the best damn hot dish for the reception following.)
MW, panel two: The spacing of Mary’s thought balloon and my increasingly failing eyesight had me punctuating her line as “Dr. Harding seems like a good match! For her…” Ed might be good enough for Stell, but she is Mary Worth, and no man will ever be her equal.
MW: I was going to make a joke about John McCain immediately pulling out a rifle and shooting Wilbur, with his defense being “I thought that he was a deer!”
Except then I realized that that was Dick Cheney.
All elderly, soulless, government officials are literally interchangeable…
@fausto: oops *think not thing
Sorry, Beetle, regardless of what you saw on MASH or read in Catch-22, the military really doesn’t do Section 8 separation anymore. Instead, you’re looking at months with Dr. Bonkus and then an other-than-honorable discharge, which is just not going to look good to your future civilian employee. Buck up! You’ve been in the Army over 50 years; your pension is going to be great!
MW – Enough with the platitudes, Mary. Wilbur is miserable. Meddle, dammit! Meddle!
“Mary, why should I invite Wilbur, especially if it is a small wedding?”
“Wilbur will play an essential role!”
“Which one?”
“Well, in case you get cold feet over marrying a self-centred workaholic with no boundaries between professional and personal life, Wilbur will be there to remind you of the alternative!”
“WHAT?!?!”
“I mean, forgiveness is a good way to make a new start!”
MW: This storyline dragged for months with inconsequential details and then it took a couple of weeks for Mary to gaslight Estelle and the wedding to take place! I appreciate that Moy gets as much bored as us, but she can do something about this!
Mary Wormtounge: I hope Gov. Walz brought his famous tater tot hotdish with.
What horror movie do you think Curtis and Barry are watching? If it’s one of the Terrifier films that would at least explain Sunday 10/27 and then this past week where Curtis went into detail about a headless corpse found in a junkyard.
MW: so Estelle will now be moving out of Charterstone, which means new meddling opportunities for Mary.
Frazz: We can all be glad that this crap — whatever the hell it was — is over until next Halloween.
Pluggers: And don’t forget there’s pickle. And onion. Sheesh, lighten up, woman. He’s practically eating a salad.
RMMD: You’ve raised a couple of geniuses there, Rex old boy.
GT: Gawd, what a freak show. What’s Beth supposed to be. A flasher maybe?
Don Abundio, translated:
“The Admiral is showing off his medals again!”
“I think he looks rather festive like that”
“Maybe…”
“But I just know the old dog is sending out obscene messages in Morse code”
Mary Worth. Notice who’s NOT at the wedding? That’s right, Estelle’s long-estranged cousin who came back into her life and threw her an engagement party. I guess we know what the next Estelle-centric plotline is going to be.
@UncleJeffers: Well hello there, Cowgirl Ladybug! Nice legs! (I’ll be in my bunk)
And thank you Andy, age 12, for the very cute anime Ganesha. Was not expecting that.
MW – Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar was unable to be present for this tableau as she is otherwise engaged editing screenplays in Judge Parker.
C’shaft: Montoni’s pizzas are so devoid of seasoning they don’t even contain garlic.
DT: See, this is why you pay your crime ring union dues.
Dustin: It’s an accurate depiction of toxic male dating culture, you gotta admit.
GT: I feel like I should know who Coach Luke is, but it’s eluding me. Sgt. Slaughter? Rambo? The corrupt ICE officer he had to bribe to get his family across the border?
JP: “…but Abbey said no way. That’s the last time I tell her what I’m going through before I show up on her doorstep.”
Luann: That horrible Tiffany, flirting with Stef’s boyfriend behind her back and flipping her off about…(whispers) What’s that? Official protagonist now? Inherently justified in everything she does? Oh, okay…ahem…That horrible Stef, noticing Kip and Tiffany are flirting behind her back and actually calling them out on it, how dare she?
MT: Figures this would be the only part of Project 2025 Mark is concerned about.
RMMD: Yes, and it’s not like there’s an easily accessible counter right next to the fridge that you could climb onto to reach them. Jesus, the dogs will work this one out before you do.
@jroggs: Dr See is Estelle’s guest, for ensuring that Estelle is going into this eyes wide open. Dr. Ed doesn’t get to have guests of his own because he’s still in the doghouse.
And the reception will be at the Karaoke bar.
Beetle Bailey-Beetle should see Ms. Buxley for advice on how to walk around on a leash.
Dustin-Have you considered dating men?
MW: Wilbur looks confused, more so than usual, so he’s probably trying to figure out why the wedding is being held in the groom’s living room. This may lead him to the assumption that he can save money if he finds his certain someone by doing likewise, setting up his next misadventure. It could also inspire him to form a cargo cult in his home to try to summon a bride, the possibilities are endless.
MW – I know I shouldn’t say, but to me, it looks like Tim Walz is the officiant….
(Appropriately named) Crock – This isn’t what I was envisioning when you said I’d be a’la king….
BB – This could be funny if there was another panel with Beetle sniffing Otto’s butt….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Love conquers all, Mary muses, as she asks the DJ to put on Bowie’s Cygnet Committee.
A love machine lumbers through desolation rows
Ploughing down man, woman, listening to its command
But not hearing anymore.
As Wilbur starts to break down, she smiles, tasting the sadness, and moves in for the most satisfying meddle of her life.
@Bob Tice: He must’ve stepped between Corey and whomever he’s dating now.
MW: Eh, I actually find Wilbur’s presence a little heartwarming. I doubt he gets invited to many social events, and he probably just appreciates being included. My headcanon is that, after the Aldo Kelrast incident, the characters make an effort to not ostracize people totally. Even if they’re awful.
FC – Next, Thel holds up a coat hanger and points at PJ. Only Bil is able to parse the message: If legal abortions had still been available in this state, that last little rugrat wouldn’t be here.
@pugfuggly: The great part about getting married in a train station? If it’s underground, the couple can watch a departing train heading into a tunnel and eagerly anticipate their wedding night.
Between Friends: Demand the guilt sex, Maeve. Nothing better than guilt sex. You may even get him to wear the Caballero outfit.
@Baja Gaijin: #1
PERFECT!!!!!!!
Lots of *NEW* comics at CK (where I view them via the Seattle Times)!
@fausto: To me, she’ll always be the Emperor from Star Wars. She has to be a Sith Lord to hold so many people under her spell.
@Daisy: I noticed! Very exciting! Let’s see….Beware of Toddler….crap….Goomer….crap….Palurdeandro…. crap….Rosebuds….crap….Suburban Fairy Tales….crap….Working Cats….crap….
Big Cartoon is no longer sending out their best and brightest.
Beetle Bailey: Beetle is walking on all fours like a dog, because he’s jealous of a dog who walks on two legs like a man! Even Sarge is weirded out by this, to the point where he’s holding 11 donuts but forgot to eat any of them.
MW: I’m simultaneously shocked that they had the wedding scene on a weekday, and shivering with anticipation to see what’s lined up for Sunday. Wilbur gets drunk at the reception, perhaps?
Mary Worth: Wilbur’s totally planning to suicide bomb this wedding.
Crock: I like to imagine Crock is just off-screen staring with bewilderment and vague horror as his chef talks to a dead chicken in a pot as if it’s alive and sentient.
Beetle Bailey: Bailey’s going to regret this joke when Sarge shoots under the impression he’s turning into a werewolf.
@Daisy: I also look at ST comics and some of the suddenly appeared ones are really strange, Goomer, Palurdeando and Rosebuds being strangest so far….
Perhaps Josh can do a snark on these!
@Ukulele Ike: You’re right.
@Ukulele Ike: I personally love Rosebuds but I may be biased because I read the whole archive of it on Suprdee’s website before it got picked up, it’s a pretty well done slice-of-life comic with an interesting family dynamic that isn’t in other comics very often of the oldest sibling acting as a parental figure to her sisters
@Ukulele Ike: Beware of Toddler….crap
I dunno. There’s something almost heartwarming to think we have come so far as a nation that an African American can finally do their own terrible version of Marvin. Take that whitey!
Mary Worth: Very clever of Wilbur to bring that fellow with white highlights as his plus-one. Wilbur will never get Estelle back, but at least he can take some of the joy out of her wedding by pretending he’s happier without her. “You made me realize, Estelle, with your saggy old lady parts, that women are a waste of my time. I like dudes, see?” DUDES!” I can’t think of any better way to say “good riddance!” than to pretend one person made you write off an entire gender.
@The Rambling Otter: At least if it’s Walz you know they’re safe because he can’t even load his own gun
MW-Later that night Mary joins Ed and Estelle in their honeymoon.
After this pleasant thought, Mary immediately begins scheming to get Wilbur and Shiela together. What’s the ship name? Shilbur? Wiela?
MW – That preacher kind of looks like an older Wally from the old Ozzie and Harriet show.
Furious at Crock for completely whiffing the joke here. you can’t use “I am dinner” as a twist that’s the set up. the wordplay is too self evident to read as a joke on it’s own. you need to hide the fact that he’s in the pot somehow and then reveal it with the punchline. that’s, at least technically and structurally, a joke. also I think the straight line “t tell her you won’t be home for dinner?” should be in a seperate middle panel. I know newspaper comics are getting squished ever more into fewer and fewer panels but it’s not like crock is filling the space they have with sumptuous art. they’ve put more visually complex material in smaller panels. I’m just very upset all around, I don’t really have a joke to go with it but, to be fair neither does Crock.
@John Plugger Mellencamp: You’ve got a good point, there, although we already have a terrible comic strip about a middle-class Black family where the Dad’s a cop….oh, just remembered it’s JumpStart. And Candorville, which I quit reading mid-October. And The Boondocks was good for a couple years before it tumbled off a cliff. And Curtis. And the grandfather of all the terrible Black strips, Quincy.
I’m proud that the creation of horrible comic strips has become an African-American growth industry. Stick it to The Man!
@Anonymous: You’re all wrong. It’s the late actor Michael Keegan.
MW-Now it’s that special moment in any wedding where Mary Worth makes it all about herself.
@Ukulele Ike: I enjoy JumpStart about half the time, which is more than I can say about most strips. I just think Armstrong overdoes it with the intrigue plots and the rich-and-famous family members.
Ziggy-“Exitville. Final Exit.”
MW: I say Tim Walz. McCain never looked that jovial. I also thought that was Dawn with her hair streaked at first and not Sheila See. Where are Chinbeard and his trophy wife?