Sexy (?) Sunday
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Heathcliff, 2/1/26
Before the heavy crown of Heathcliff stewardship descended upon Peter Gallagher from his uncle, he contributed comics panels to Weird NJ magazine, which included a character named “The Jersey Tomato.” It’s difficult to find images of The Jersey Tomato online, but her whole deal appears to be that she’s a tomato who’s a sexy lady, or possibly a sexy lady whose head is a giant tomato. Anyway, since taking over Heathcliff, Gallagher has rewritten much of its DNA, and it’s impossible not to see a bit of the Jersey Tomato in this incredible new character, “The Hot Ham,” a ham who’s a hot, sexy lady, or possibly a hot, sexy lady who’s mostly a giant ham. I’m excited for this strip’s burgeoning audience of Zoomer fans to add “aromantic (except for hams)” to the long list of sexual-emotional orientations that I as a middle-aged person do not have to worry about.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/1/26
Oh, snap, it’s not Buck at all who’s picking up Rex from his surgery, it’s June’s crazy beloved Aunt (?) Tildy! A few years ago we were teased with a “Tildy is an old drunk” storyline that immediately turned out to be a “Tildy loves soda pop and takes ‘unplanned naps’” storyline, but let’s keep our hopes up that she has some kind of impairment that makes Rex’s drive home a truly terrifying one.
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/1/26
Somewhat counterintuitively, this strip about caricatured hillbillies with occasional cameos from a big-city sharpie from the Woodrow Wilson administration was a pioneer in making jokes about cryptocurrency. So I’m excited for them to explore the crypto-adjacent world of prediction markets, where anyone can place prop bets on just about anything and insider trading is not just legal but encouraged because it makes their predictive powers more accurate (and enriches insiders in the process).
Crock, 2/1/26
I mean, obviously. What did he think the “car going in the tunnel” thing was about?
59 replies to “Sexy (?) Sunday”
Heathcliff: Spare a thought for Giovanni Aniceti, whose moment of fame has just been ruined. I mean, if he frames this immortalization of his cat and hangs it up, everyone will think he’s just a ham pervert.
Crock: Burp II: The Sequel is still a better title than Crock.
RMMD: I’d like to hear the Doc’s thoughts for that short period of time when she thought Aunt Tildy was Rex’s wife. “Ugh. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.”
Beetle Bailey-Can’t disagree with Killer.
MW-Sunny: “Have you changed the locks?”
Heathcliff-I want whatever drugs the writer is on.
RMMD: If that 2020 story line is any evidence, Aunt Tildy might have narcolepsy, which would definitely satisfy Josh’s wishes. It’s also the setup for that nasty old joke, “I want to go peacefully in my sleep, like Aunt Tildy, not screaming in terror like the passengers in her car.”
Flylock Socks:
With the advent of Dick Tracy in the Slylockverse, the next time Cassie Cat steals a worthless bauble in a desperate attempt to get Slylock to pay a little attention to her, Dick is instead going to shoot her in the face.
Wrecks Moregone:
Shouldn’t the eyepatch strap go over Wrecks’ ear to stop it sliding down his pissyface?
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Wary Morth:
Pompous and Mrs Axx are about to become proud grandparents.
RMMD:
“Funny — I don’t see her. Of course, I have a bad eye, so….”
RMMD:
Can someone administer some anesthetic, please, to shut this little full-of-logorrhea guttersnipe up?
RMMD:
“…and we’ll all be here when it’s done. But if, during the procedure, you see your late grandma at the end of a tunnel suffused with brilliant white light, beckoning for you to come to her, don’t take the bait!”
Snuffy approves of Barney’s dream of entering the world of professional bull riding. This is the entire joke, somehow.
BG&SS:
I’ve never seen a comic strip where all the characters are so consistently bemused and affable as this one. I wonder if gummies have invaded Hootin’ Holler.
Heathcliff:
Okay, so here we have an anthropomorphization of one of the Seven Deadly Sins.
Bizarro : Okay, so the joke is supposed to be that other superheroes don’t want to associate with these guys because of their embarassing contortions. But :
a) Spider-Man’s acrobatics involve stupider-looking contortions and he’s always teaming up with everyone else!
b) This would ABSOLUTELY not be a problem if they were Gymnastics Woman and Yoga Girl. (well, it COULD be a problem in that some people would complain their contortions make them TOO appealing)
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Crankshaft : …this would probably work better on a day that’s WARMER and NOT OVERCAST, dumbass. Like, you should be doing this in mid-to-late March (maybe on the 22nd?)!
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Crock : …Huh, this comic has been running for so long, there are possible reruns from a time when the “kid” character was just a baby?…
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Hagar the Horrible : is commanding a troop of Robin Hood-looking dudes to attack… VIKINGS!? Either
a) Hagar’s men have mutinied, and he has hired mercenaries to put them down
b) This strip is really bad at remembering WHO Hagar is supposed to be fighting. And I thought “Viking Barbarians vs Castle Knights” was an easy concept! (granted “Forest Outlaws” are an outlier in this, but archers do not NEED to be forest outlaws! They can be vikings!)
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Heathcliff : Giovanni Ancetti actually carries a tommy gun in his guitar case. They call him the “Cat-loving Hitman”.
…Too far in the stereotyping?…************
Moose & Molly : “That’s not a tree, by the way. That’s the telephone/power lines pole. Chester is PISSED.”
Maggot and Grossie had a baby? I just threw up in my mouth a little.
MW – Wait, we’re back to evenings spent by couples singing cheesy crap from the 70s together?
HEATHCLIFF: If this food-woman thing takes off, Dagwood, Jughead and Wilbur Weston will be happy, happy men.
RMMD: When this is over, I want to see June retreating to a spa for two weeks. Under an assumed name.
Heath: Man, I am so, so glad this isn’t Blondie.
RMMD: And at last, the conflict is revealed: Rex Morgan is mildly inconvenienced!
DtM:
Answer: Dennis says; “Make it nice an’ warm!” as Alice shows her honeypot to the readers in the next to last panel.
Question: How do you get fan service past the censors.
RMMD: A few years back, Randall Munroe of xkcd had appendicitis and wrote a few comics about it (https://xkcd.com/2147/). I hope Johnny has the same doctor.
Phantom:
“Sir, you’re from Britain, aren’t you? — do you happen to have a copy of Paul McCartney’s catchy single, Bandar on the Run?”
C’shaft: Crankshaft owning a drone has got to violate some FAA regulation somewhere.
DT: Wow, Mr. Mirror really sucks at this hitman thing, doesn’t he? Didn’t even make it out of the hotel room before being noticed and chased by the police and his target’s thugs, had to sneak into a snoring old man’s apartment to elude them, got attacked by the old man’s pug and left behind evidence. I fully expect him to wind up with one foot caught in a bucket before all this is over.
Dustin: “This this will finally be what causes his heart to give out?”
“We can hope.”
JP: That’s the face of someone who arranged the release of her aunt from prison so she wouldn’t have to spend time with her drunk grandfather and enabler grandmother if I ever saw one.
RMMD:
“Mom, before I go under the knife, would you mind if I just kind of tossed around all of the background art that’s been depicted in today’s installment and in the installments of this past week?”
“What purpose would you seek to achieve by doing that, Johnny? Wait. No — don’t say it.”
“Yep. ‘Upend‘ ‘a situs‘ !”
DT I’m trying to decide whether the authour is a good enough writer to be deliberately setting up this “mirror” as a wannabe copycat (the wife?) on their first kill, trying to imitate the actual competent Mirror hitman.
MW Actually coherent – maybe Moy’s decided to plot the Sundays and toss that into ChatGPT to expand to the previous six dailies?
RMMD: As Rex slides into the passenger seat he hears Aunt Tildy, “Buckle up, stud muffin, you’re in for one hell of a ride.”
RMMD- Try looking through your other eye.
@16 MKay: Did you wonder what that would look like? Here’s Heathcliff Minus Heathcliff Plus Dagwood. You like?
@17 TheDiva: Uh oh. Don’t click the link above.
MW:
June shuffled into the kitchen and headed for the coffee, but was stopped short when she saw a stack of large boxes blocking her way.
“What’s all THIS?” she asked Karen.
“It’s a delivery from Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars! I have a call in to him now to–” She was interrupted by the electronic ringtone melody of ‘Muskrat Love’ and, knowing how much June despised the tune, quickly answered the phone. “Sid? Sid, yeah, thanks for getting back to me. Listen, I talked to your intern but he didn’t seem to understand what–yes, we DID get your delivery. Sid, what the heck are all these boxes?….What? No, we didn’t actually plan on–well, I understand, but we weren’t going to move forward with this story for now and that’s–wait, HOW MANY? No, we didn’t get five gallons of green ink, you sent us 50 gallons, Sid. Five-O!….What do you mean, ‘it’s not returnable’? We can’t store 50 gallons here! We can’t even use ONE gallon. I told you, we were going to move on to another story!…What? Well, WILBUR, of course….No, he’s not going to get another fish just now. Yes, I understand, but we’ve featured so many of your clients in our recent–Sid, stop crying! It’s just for one story! No, we can still use the Doves o’ Love, but Sid, they’re not GREEN. Look, we can maybe work in one or two of your extras in an outdoor scene, but I don’t think we can use any of your regular folks in a featured role just now. Yes…yes, I know you’re disappointed, Sid, but your contract doesn’t give you–Sid, I can’t talk to you if you’re going to keep sobbing! I’ll tell you what, June and I will discuss the situation, but Sid–Sid, LISTEN TO ME. You have to send that goofy intern of yours over here to pick up all this green ink! We’ll keep one box. ONE, do you hear me? The other nine have to be out of here before lunch. No, Sid, TODAY. You do whatever you have to do, but get this stuff out of here. Yes, June and I will–Sid, we are NOT getting Wilbur another goldfish! No, not even one. Anyway, June doesn’t have much yellow ink left and she just ordered more maroon for Wilbur’s polo shirt, so we’re committed to a Wilbur story at this point. No, I don’t think he wants to have a parrot, Sid. Sid, will you STOP CRYING??!! Listen, we can talk later today. Yes, AFTER you get these boxes out of here. I mean it, Sid.” Karen disconnected.
June stared at the boxes. “Green ink? ALL OF IT?”
“Yeah, 50 gallons of green ink.”
“Good lord. Well, spring is coming…we can do some outdoor scenes in the park, Mary and Toby can go on walks, and I guess Sunny and Rosie can make an occasional appearance, but otherwise, what am I going to use all that green for? Mary uses purple, Toby is in more of a pink range, Wilbur is maroon….” June shook her head.
“Well, we have St. Patrick’s Day coming up. Can we do something with that?” Karen suggested.
“Not unless we make Carlos into a leprechaun.” June thought for a moment. “Can Wilbur hang out in the bushes some more? Is there anyone new he can stalk?”
“I hadn’t thought about that. I’ll tell you what, let’s figure out where to put ONE of these boxes, and we’ll leave the other nine by the door so Sid’s idiot intern can move them out of here. I have no idea what’s going on with Sid, though. I feel bad for him. Maybe we can have some fledgling parrots this spring?”
“Yeah, or Toby and Ian could get food poisoning tonight. There’s enough green here to keep them vomiting for a year.”
@27 Charterstoned: What to do with all that green ink? Mary Worth Patented Broccoli-Bran Muffins by the barrelful!
BG&SS – There’s no way to confirm it, but I would be willing to bet that no hillbilly has ever said “as to whether.”
MW- Ahhh. ..I get it now! Rosie’s family owns a string of restaurants. Now do they have a karaoke night? Maybe a mariachi band? Is Wilbur barred from the place?
I’m only now realizing that Heathcliff’s Kitty Corner contains what *looks like* stories from readers but no information about where readers can submit their own. Is “Kitty Corner” closed to new submissions? Is Peter Gallagher sitting on a backlog of thousands of reader submissions from the Gately era? How long has Giovanni Aniceti’s entry been sitting in the inbox? Or worse: Is Gallagher just inventing fictitious cat stories? WHO ARE YOU, GIOVANNI ANICETI?
Zits: Seems Connie had a better night than her son. But we all knew that.
Slylock Fox: Because the case the thief solved which had been baffling Forestville PD for years was of the Jefferson Park Killer, and “J” is commonly in the second of four alphabetized groups in English.
Hagar the Horrible is an uncanny tribute to the Battle of Agincourt. It’s like I’m looking at Henry V’s longbows on the comics page!
Lockhorns: I gotta admit seeing Leroy in jail is a new one to me. Constables usually only show up in traffic stops here.
Blondie: Don’t tell Young and Marshall but the Super Bowl hasn’t been a week after the conference title games for almost two dozen years.
FC: Thel closes the door. Returns with an industrial pesticide fogger. “In or out, your choice.”
@Baja Gaijin: We’d have to bring back Ted Miller to do the PR and marketing.
@TheDiva: Well, that’s the definitive word on today’s Dick Tracy. Nicely done; no further comment necessary.
HtH: I’m surprised he didn’t go for the free goose dinner.
Heatchliff: Peter Galagher was obviously traumatized (or inspired) by Lirttle Feat’s “Waiting for Columbus” album cover!
Crock – Who has it rougher, the woman feeding her husband as if he’s a baby, or the two Foreign Legionnaires whose only available entertainment is to eavesdrop on this nauseating process? Who cares? None of them have it as rough as us, the readers of the comic strip about it.
Don Abundio, translated:
“The boss left instructions to give him a 3-minute egg as soon as he’s awake”
“How can I do that, Polonio? We never know when he’s going to wake up”
“Easy!”
“This will either wake him, or kill him…”
@Buck Ripsnort: Curse the lack of a delete button! I meant his Sexy Tomato character was inspired by Little Feat’s “Waiting for Columbus” album cover (1978)
Rex Morgan, M.D.: “Dammit, I was looking forward to a little sexy pirate play on the way home! … Well, she’s not my aunt…”
Also Rex Morgan, M.D.!: “They’ll take good care of you, honey — and we’ll all be here when it’s done. What’s that you say? You want me to tell you’ll be okay? You’d like a hug? Don’t be silly, honey — we’re Morgans!”
Slylock Fox-Bonnie and Boo-Boo: “If I had a hammer.”
Slylock Fox-Ha! The thief tricked Slylock. They are making Slylock think the file came from the second drawer.
M Worth: A Curmudgeon segment entitled “Sexy Sunday” should definitely have carried a full breakdown on bird fucking, because it’s obvious Sunny is about to get some hot parrot axx…. just saying.
@Buck Ripsnort: Oh, I got that the first time, and thanks for providing the reference! I knew I’d seen Sexy Tomato somewhere before, but I didn’t remember the album cover.
I never bought a Little Feat album, but I used to see that one all the time when browsing through the bins at used record stores. It always provided a brief moment of “WTF is that, anyway?” before I moved on. Now I can have that same reaction every time I see a Heathcliff panel.
@TheDiva:
Classic overthinker – (1) method of getting into the room meant the maid saw the REAL face – and presuming the maid wasn’t killed, will be questioned and provide some clues, (2) method of killing is ludicrous – no easy way out and what if Czar stays out or sleeps over somehwere else? Made more sense to leave a radio controlled bomb (3) why is a major arms dealer using a basic hotel room and not a suite so his hench men can guard him in the outer room ? (4) escape was botched by not checking the door was closed and in most hotels – will automatically lock – thereby making detection of the body much later after the Mirror has escaped, (5) once an alam was sounded, Mirror could have ditched the costume and blended into the lobby crowd and simply melted away, but (6) opened an emergency alarmed exit door which is sure to have a surveillance camera (7) and lead to the guy in the apartment where the watch will be found – again, probably didn’t kill this witness either. Total failure – so how did the Mirror get this reputation with this bungling.
Makes me wonder if this is someone masquerading as the Mirror. The real Mirror won’t be this bad.
Could be a stretch, but the English translation of Sunny Parrot and Rose Parrot’s song is “You are the fire in my home”. Got to wonder if Sunny sabotaged that Christmas tree light that ALMOST started a fire. Is Sunny a pyromaniac?
Slylock: A pretty observation BUT the general mess does not suggest a stealthy careful burglar. It suggests a frustrated and angry being – someone who just starts yanking open drawers and pulling files (notice the mess). Often these cabinets have an anti-toplling mechanism that prevent other drawers from being pulled once one is out. But with sufficient force it can be overcome – notice the scuff and damage marks. What is really interesting is why the coffee carafe is on top of the cabinet and it is still warm – notice the plume and a box of donuts. Someone tall was here and forgot a hot carafe of coffee??
RMMD: Don’t most places wheel you out in wheel chair to mitigate the risk of a slip and fall lawsuit? June could have left word with the waiting area explaining the situation. No needs for these contrived “marvel misunderstandings”.
Mary Worth: My doctor warned me about not using artificial sweetners. Seriously, did the writer recently get a pet parrot?
Judge Parker: “Oh, hi, hey what is the twerp Charlotte doing back here?? I thought you were going to ditch her at Judge Parker’s place” – the artist forgot to make Charlotte’s speech bubble and text with faint lines reflecting her whispered statement while she slides over to ease drop. She knows what is going on.
Dick Tracy: For a so-called professional, The Mirror seems to have a lot of trouble executing a basic contract. Weird method, poor escape plan, bungled by calling attention and now an eyewitness and leaving a clue. Since Tracy is not much of a detective, I guess this will help the Mirror get a slug from Dick’s gun soon.
Crankshaft: Surprised the creators don’t have Crankshaft attaching a small butane torch and using that to deice the gutters – that is more in line with his general callousness.
‘cliff: My theory, based largely on the sparseness of the artwork, is that Heathcliff is in a coma and this is his dream.
RMMD: “They’re going to take you into surgery and deal with that appendix of yours.”
“They’re going to take it out, right?”
“Well, not yet. First, they’re going to give it a stern talking-to and tell it to cooperate with your other internal organs. The doctors believe that tough love is the best strategy here, so your appendix won’t be able to play video games for a week.”
BG&SS: It would be kind of badass if, after a century-plus of lighthearted adventures together, Spark Plug actually killed Barney Google.
Crock: The really unrealistic part is that Crock knows the names of his inferiors and cares what is happening in their lives. It would be more fitting to have him say, “Those awful people are making sounds that I can hear. Have them all killed.” He wouldn’t say, “Have them all killed, Captain Poulet,” because he doesn’t know Captain Poulet’s name. At most, he knows him as “Skinny Mustache Man” as opposed to “Bushy Mustache Man” (aka Figowitz).
Dustin-“Well I’m out of here. I don’t want to be around when Dad goes into murder mode.”
Crock: Oh, joy. Food/sex play that’s more offputting than Blondie.
Heathcliff: I’m glad this is a strip from Heathcliff so I can just accept it as the incoherent nonsense it is rather than trying to figure out what the joke is.
Heathcliff: Peter & Giovanni are two weird dudes.
Doonesbury: Nice swerve, G.B.
Prince Valiant: Aleta, darling. First Rule of ‘sneaking around’ — if somebody starts making a lot of noise, get the heck out of there.
Non-Sequitor: Funny. Just what most of the nation needs.
@UncleJeff: Oh, I forgot.
RMMD: I think our Guest Surgeon is on to Johnny and is trolling him for wasting his time (while giving Doc some time to pad his bill).
Next, on RMMD: Guest Surgeon “accidentally” shows Johnny a bloody chainsaw.
Unexpected result here — Josh turned me on to the Statistical Modeling, Causal Inference, and Social Science website via links in the Snuffy Smith commentary and it’s very cool. Thanks!
Luann: It may not be saucy anymore for *you*, Pig-Boy, but it most certainly is for Smilin’ Jack there. I’d keep an eye on any drinks you have, if I were you.
@TheDiva:
@CanuckDownSouth:
@Ukulele Ike:
@treetown:
I think Horace Broon figured it out days ago. Because the writers of this strip are basically creatively bankrupt and can only coast along on nostalgia,* this is the wife (one of the apparently limitless Mahoney girls) who decided to take out her own husband while playing a little cat-and-mouse game with Dick. If we don’t end with something that’s almost a direct lift from the end of the 1990 Warren Beatty movie, I for one will be very surprised.
*That goes for the artist too. I think he’s very talented, but let’s not mince words here. Look at Gould’s Pruneface on the old man’s TV. Look at the exact reproduction of the car Madonna drove in the 1990 movie back when this storyline started. This is how he makes his living, and I don’t begrudge him that. Drawing album covers for indie bands don’t pay the bills.
RMMD News:
Per Daily Cartoonist.com, artist Terry Beatty is having triple coronary bypass surgery on Monday.
He appears to be optimistic for recovery but has made arrangements for a guest artist.
Prayers and best wishes to Terry.
@Charterstoned:I always enjoy your long-form contributions, especially the June & Karen bits.
@The Quiet Man: Agree but I’d be very careful about crossing Warren Beatty. He may be old but apparently, he’s still quite litigious.
(Has any Hollywood Legend so thoroughly disappeared from the public eye when he had enough of public life?)
Crock: The BURP! sequel will be subtitled BEER BURP! (It’ll capitalize on AOL nostalgia…)