Fingers crossed for some good murders to come
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Dick Tracy, 10/14/26
Dick Tracy has a new artist, longtime Tracy superfan Howie Noel, and I am here to report that, in this house, we are now Howie Noel superfans, as this week has reliably delivered panel after panel of real fucked-up shit, which I mean in the most complimentary possible sense. A detective with a neanderthal-level brow ridge and free-flowing beads of sweat. A weird pinheaded nurse in an archaic outfit. A tiny man the size of a ventriloquist’s dummy, or possibly just an actual ventriloquist’s dummy that the nurse is operating. The tiny man/dummy has unpleasantly long fingernails, by the way. A+ all around!
Mary Worth, 10/14/26
OK, so, Toby is still crashing out over the entirely not real Ian/Mary rumors, but let’s look on the bright side for her: artistically, she’s moved on from her “hideous grey animal-shaped blobs” period to her “mawkish painted animal figurines” period, which should be more marketable if nothing else.
Beetle Bailey, 10/14/26
Look, I know that General Halftrack’s coffee tastes can’t possibly be what anyone would call sophisticated, but I refuse to believe that even the most skilled practitioner could make anything in that circa 1975 Mr. Coffee machine that would live up to the name “barista.”
Hi and Lois, 10/14/26
Oh, so Chip isn’t competent to babysit when Hi’s just trying to get some work done at the office, but he’s perfectly capable of doing so when Lois is horny, huh? Interesting. Interesting.
41 replies to “Fingers crossed for some good murders to come”
Dick Tracy:
“Listen, you ever heard of obstructing Justice?”
“Sure — if you stood in the way of David as he was trying to make his way down the base path, that would certainly qualify!”
Dick Tracy:
Today’s installment is as inscrutable as a Bergman film.
RMMD:
“Now, Summer, do you enjoy interacting with the likes of Somchai, the maitre d’ there, and his cohorts?”
“Nah, not really. A Thai is like kissing your sister!”
Family Circlejerk – I’d love to see a sloshed Thel barge through that door from the other side and take out two melonheads.
Mary Worth:
“I can’t even escape thoughts of Ian and Mary in my sleep! I have to do something!
“I’ve got it! — I’ll stop sleeping!”
H&L: I get why they changed the gun to a set of car keys but why she’s pointing at Chip and not Hi is a little confusing.
BB-The winner is the one who will make an Irish coffee that is more Irish than coffee.
MW-Toby is going to ask Mary while her mouth is full of Mary’s muffin.
FC-You don’t want to walk in on Mommy while she is in the middle of work.
RMMD-Oooh! Sounds to me like someone is hoping to get tied down tonight.
Mary Worth:
“I’d give you a cultivar of a Chinese flowering tree, Kitty, but then people would say, ‘Cat got your tung?’ “
H&L: Is the second panel like the re-release of E.T., but instead of digitally replacing the FBI agents’ guns with walkie-talkies, Lois’s gun is replaced with car keys?
Pluggers: So why is plugger dogman walking his grandson on a leash? Someone better call CPS.
DT: Is that a normal sized woman carrying a midget or a giantess carrying a normal sized man?
BB: The General wants a hug. The ladies are thinking, “Yikes! Keep those freakish five-fingered hands away from me!”
RMMD: Enjoy the Auggie Doggystyle and Summer story while it lasts. Next week it’s Buck or Truck.
MW: Toby’s new artistic method was inspired by her recent viewing of Roger Corman’s A Bucket of Blood. She’s posing and decorating an actual kitten corpse.
BB — Um, the coffee’s already made in that pot over there–all you need to do is pour it in a cup. Or are your hands shaking too much, general?
DT This feels like the wacky Riverdale series has come full circle and spun back into a comic.
MW ‘Shrewish’? Yeesh, where did brought pick thst up from Toby? Some old, WASPy…oh…Oh…
MW: As usual, Toby’s artistic Muse is asleep at the wheel. Those dreams should have inspired some awesome surrealism. Who wouldn’t buy a Mary-headed parrot?
H&L: Hi spent the day trying to hang himself with his tie, so he’s probably not up for Date Night.
GT: Borys’ scary mom sent shivers down MY spine, but that’s just me.
JP: All right! April’s back in the car. Are we finally gonna get the traffic law we’ve been promised?
RxMD: I’ve worked from home for six years now so I really don’t experience small talk anymore. Is it really this stupid now? Do people really give coworkers passive aggressive approval of their dining choices, as if they have any say or their opinion actually matters? Is this Glenwood “small town” thing? Having grown up in a small town I can say people absolutely can be small minded busybodies, but “I guess it’s okay that you go to a pretty good restaurant you actually like instead of the one I like better” is pretty petty even for the church ladies I knew.
MW: This dumb story is so annoying that I’ve decided that Toby’s given up art and is now a feline cosmetologist to at least make it a little more interesting, if only in my headcanon. “Sorry about your husband, lady, but go easy on the whiskers. To much mascara and they’ll droop!”
Agree on Howie Noel. Even before reading your commentary I zoomed in to get a better look at the artwork. It almost makes me sad seeing good artists doing syndicated strips because then I have to watch them degrade over the years as they get complacent, disgruntled, or too busy under the pressures of deadlines.
I’ll ask it again, even if I know I won’t get an answer. What’s the deal with Eric Costello as guest-writer!?!? He has been writing Dick Tracy consistently for years and yet someone else who doesn’t write is the official writer!? The official artist can change but the writer can’t? Is this like the Stewart of Gondor not getting to be the king because they are waiting for the return of the king?
@Bob Tice: Toby becoming a tweaker would be the best thing to happen to her, her art, and this strip.
@Bob Tice: No, Bergman movies are psychologically deep comedies (something that many international viewers do not get because they don’t speak Swedish and the movies are not dubbed). Midgets, buxom ladies and thugs? That’s a Fellini movie!
“I’m not happy that my husband is sleeping with someone else, but I don’t want to appear old-fashioned protesting it. Maybe I can work out a rationalisation of polyamory in writing and the New York Times can publish it”
The general is into roleplaying, but since he attended that sexual harassment course in the 1990s, it must be about PG things like coffee and not sex. I’d say woke killed comedy, but it was not that fun before anyway
DT: Do you ever seen something first thing in the morning that makes you question if you’re genuinely awake or stuck in some sort of hyper-realistic fever dream? Because that’s me right now with this strip. Briefly in the last panel, I thought that was a flower sprouting from the detective’s head, Daisy-Head Maisy style.
MW: “I’m not like a regular wife. I’m a cool wife.”
DT: This household is giving me huge Gormenghast vibes, I’m loving it.
MW: I’m not sure there’s a market for artisanal Color Me Mine figurines….
H&L: “And she’s buried the other kids up to their necks!”
C’shaft: “But this wood, which we bought from Kroger’s, will only do the job once.”
Dustin: “That’s hilarious, dear, thinking that Dustin or indeed any of us are leading what a normal, well-adjusted human being would call a ‘fulfilling life’.”
RMMD: “That Thai Place” has increased the number of restaurants in this town by fifty percent.
B. Bailey: Blips is tired of the General’s Irish coffee drinking game.
MW: Does Moy seriously believe a bunch of people jumping out and yelling “Surprise!” will instantly cure the emotional trauma Toby is going through?
JP: “I need to see Charlotte first.”
Please don’t kill Charlotte, April. I really like her and, besides, Neddy is right there.
If you want to be a top barista,
You’ve got to start at the bottom of the pot…
On the one hand, at least Toby’s Etsy store isn’t full of the same drop shipped garbage you see all over the site these days. On the other hand, it tries to sell Toby’s handiwork.
***
I’m curious how much spit Halftrack is used to in his coffee by now and how much is needed for him to consider it good now. I hope you’re hydrated, ladies.
“You told Chip to babysit the children while we screw?”
“No, I need him because we go out for dinner. If I needed them busy while we screwed, I would simply tell them to play one round of red light, green light”
Dick Tracy: That artwork is positively Gouldian. Unhinged in the best way.
MW: “I can’t appear shrewish… I guess I’ll have to forego the butcher knife and use the rolling pin when I chase him around the apartment!”
JP: Welp, that’s that! What was the “information” CIApril had on all those arms dealers and revengeful mobsters she killed? How did she convince Chief Pissy McBitchface to release her on her own recognizance? Is she now back with ‘duh Company’? Never mind all that! It’s horsie picture Show n’ Tell time!
S4th: ‘Let’s cut to the chase… our existence is a waking nightmare of pop culture detritus that none of us can escape until the men in the white coats come and put our creator in a rubber room.’
RMMD: June, in the name of all that’s decent, wash that shoe polish off your face! I know this whole town is stuck in Baby Boomer-land, but that crap went out with bobbysoxers and gasoline rationing!
@Powers: Which makes it a damn cryin’ shame that it’s being wasted on one of Costello’s “and then…” stories.
@But What Do I Know?: “Your hands are shaking general. Is it delirium tremens, Parkinson or PTSD?” “Yes”
Beetle Bailey: Either Miss Buxley is excited to participate in the Coffee Games (like the Hunger Games, but with a much smaller cast) or she’s so used to looking excited when General Halftrack gives her an inane order that there’s no visible difference.
Dick Tracy: No snark! Just wanted to say it’s been literal decades since DT‘s art has looked this good! Amazing work, Howie!
Mary Worth: Is Toby painting a little ceramic cat? Genuinely delightful! It’s not art, but I’m glad she has a fun hobby that can appeal to both seniors and children!
Beetle Bailey somehow missed out on the most obvious visual gag possible; Beetle in a Starbucks uniform (get it, because his career never took off the way he wanted it to), getting Halftrack’s name wrong on purpose.
DT- Since Redhead hasn’t said a word, and the detective hasn’t moved, are we witnessing a ventriloquist talent show?
Don’t worry Toby, raising your concern might conjure up “shrew”, but you’ll always have a “parrot” soul.
Kitties are brown/
Toby is shrewish/
You can’t live at Charterstone/
If you are Jewish.
I don’t make the rules, I just make rhymes about the rules.