Mr. Foofram looks so defeated. He could fire Hi for this but what’s the point
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Hi and Lois, 10/12/26

I admit that, as a non-kid-haver, I’m not fully up on the ages at which kids are allowed to be left on their own and/or put in charge of their siblings these days, and I’m given to understand that this has shifted since I was a teen, but still: Chip is old enough to watch his siblings, right? Or at least not be dragged along to the office with other kids? This question sent me down a rabbit hole trying to figure out Chip’s age and the amount of freedom his parents allow him, and I’m here to report that he’s learning how to drive, goes on unsupervised dates to the movies, and takes his little brother along on walks around the neighborhood, which you’d think would be enough evidence to make today’s antics unnecessary. On the other hand, at one point he told Dot about Studio 54, which might’ve led to her asking some questions that ultimately resulted in a lot of privileges being revoked.
Judge Parker, 10/12/26

Oh, hey, remember how April was going to pick up Charlotte and take her to school? Well, she never showed up, and the reason why is that she got scooped up off the street and taken to a CIA black site somewhere. I guess they’re calling black sites “regional offices” now, to present a more professional, more chill, less terrifying kind of branding to the outside world. That’s not how most of the US government is doing things currently, but the security services always zag when everyone else is zigging, you know?
Alice, 10/12/26

Big news about Alice’s car saga: Remember when she said that today’s cars were too expensive and didn’t need all that stuff, but then rented a car and backslid and said she could get very spoiled with all the new features, but then later declared her current 25-year-old car “perfect” because it had “no technology” and got her where she wanted to go? Well, it seems she bought a new car after all, and she likes it, but she misses the simplicity of the old car, and the old price tag too. Who could’ve predicted this? You could’ve, Alice! I’ve assembled incontrovertible evidence that you predicted every aspect of the mess in which you find yourself! You have no excuse!


13 replies to “Mr. Foofram looks so defeated. He could fire Hi for this but what’s the point”
Alice is a new comics and might even appear avant-garde based on its style, but it still goes for the
staleclassic bit “old comics creators enraged about technological change and inflation”High and Lower – Obviously, Hi just won the Masters. I can’t imagine, with all the other restrictions Augusta Golf Course has had over the years, that they wouldn’t let him bring all his kids. So he went to the office instead.
“Everyone you had contact in Europe is… no longer around. Doge screwed us badly!”
Judge Parker:
The CIA’s only office in the United States is in Langley, Virgnia, and it has no domestic “regional” offices. So this whole “CIA meeting” thing is a big deepfake, and is an obvious jumping off point for more of the usual inane cloak-and-dagger antics, with no real purpose or resolution, that have been the calling card for this strip for more than ten years now.
JP. “It’s a board game. They use electrified tweezers and if they touch the sides, his nose lights up. Hilarity ensues. Seriously, it’s been around for over fifty years and you haven’t heard about it?”
Alice:
“Alice, are you ever going to stop going to Medusa’s hairdresser?”
H&L: Foofram still hasn’t processed the concept of working wives.
LUANN: Luann is surprised; when SHE was part of the move-in fantasy, it involved a miraculously furnished penthouse.
BB: Sarge is resigned to the fact that if you’ve spent several generations beating someone to a pulp, it’s only to be expected that they’ll take you down with them some day.
MW: Toby turns to look at her husband, only to find his place empty, EXCEPT FOR AN EGG ON THE PILLOW.
Hi and Lois:
“Mr. Foofram, is there some rule that says that work premises in legacy comic strips can’t go ‘business casual,’ so that the likes of you, me, Dagwood Bumstead, Mr. Dithers and Dick Tracy can’t all get rid of these confining neckties of ours?”
In the comics I follow, only A and J referred to Columbus Day although Day by Dave noted Thanksgiving in Canada.
Best line I saw about Columbus Day is to commemorate it, you can go into a store and take whatever you want without paying for it.
Hi and Lois:
In tomorrow’s Hi and Lois installment, Mr. Foofram nabs the starring role in the Milton, Connecticut Community Theater Troupe’s forthcoming production of Wally Cox: The Musical.
H&L: I don’t know how it is in other states, but in mine the schools stopped giving Columbus Day off even before I graduated, because even back then they realized Columbus was a dude you didn’t really want to be celebrating. But then Hi still lives in a world where everyone wears a suit to work and he gets a nice large office suite despite being middle management at best, so things are probably different for him.
RMMD: Beatty. Beatty, you don’t have to announce that you’re transitioning to a new scene. You can just transition. I know you know that, but you just couldn’t resist stretching out the nothing with more nothing, could you?
JP: I’ve decided that this strip takes place in an alternate universe. In this universe, there is a huge market for adult entertainment that involves the performers biting into lemons just before they film a scene. This explains all of the facial expressions in the strip and further explains the lack of real resolution to any plot. We’re seeing the censored version, before the sour-faced sex.
MW – we are putting up with a lot to get to the big reveal that Mary is helping Ian plan a romantic trip to Maui for Toby. If this goes on into November it had better be an absolutely stunning “Mary is helping Ian plan a romantic trip to Maui for Toby” reveal.
RMMD – having decided medical stuff is icky and his title character is a dud, we will now jump from dull characters having banal conversations to different dull characters having banal conversations on a biweekly schedule. This will continue until they hire the last web cartoonist under 30 to reboot the strip using K-dramas as a major influence.